Work Text:
“Shaking your heart (Say!)
Shaking your beat (Shout!)
時代を駆けてく...”
...
A catchy, high energy pop music silently plays on a lone TV screen.The upbeat tune reverberates around the walls of the dark and hollow room, with a pair of pale and lifeless eyes peeking from beneath the blankets, wordlessly staring at the TV.
Kujou Tenn stares at the group of idols performing the current song on TV, dazed and empty.
“...Do you want to be an idol when you grow up…?”
He remembers a vague memory of the past, when Riku was still alive.
Thus he begins to imagine, imagining all the things that could’ve happened if only Riku was still alive.
What if Riku had a group of friends who took care of him like family, something he never was for Riku?
Tenn looked towards the TV screen, still silently playing that lively tune.
What if Riku was singing and dancing alongside this group of idols?
Tenn imagined Riku as the center of the newly formed idol group on TV.
What if they could’ve been the family Riku so desperately wanted and provide the warmth for his twin brother that he never did?
Tenn imagined Riku and the other idols on the TV screen, living together in a dorm room, forming an idol team named IDOLiSH7.
“...If I grow up to be an idol, I want to be in a team named idolish7 with Tenn-nii…!”
Memories from a childhood long forgotten start to resurface from the crevices of his mind. Memories and emotions he has since suppressed due to his inability to handle the burden slowly come back to him one by one. Overflowing emotions and memories of a younger brother no longer here with him makes his grip on his blanket tighten.
A drop of tear silently rolls down his cheeks. Then another, and another.
He continues to imagine.
What if the members of this imaginary IDOLiSH7 watched him and helped him grow as a person, something he never had the chance to experience?
Tenn imagined IDOLiSH7 going through various hardships, failures and misfortune. He imagines them as they learn from their mistakes and work around them together, as a team, as a family.
He imagined the team performing together. He imagined them laughing together, crying together, growing together, standing on stage together.
“...Why 7? We’re just two people, you know…?”
A soft and gentle giggle.
“...We both have the kanji for 7 in our name, Tenn-nii! And we’re not fully idols, we’re only idol-ish, so you mash them together and we’re idolish7...!”
More tears form in the corners of his eyes.
Despite this, he still continues to imagine.
What if he was in a rivaling team, and Riku despises him for that?
Tenn choked back more tears. A self-deprecating “As if he doesn’t already despise you in real life already for being absent while he was still alive,” floats to his mind, but he pushes the thought away and continues to imagine.
Tenn imagined himself in a rivaling team, TRIGGER. He imagined Gaku and Ryunosuke, the two people who he once formed an idol team with that eventually but unsurprisingly fell apart, being there for him and performing with him on stage.
He imagined IDOLiSH7 and TRIGGER, side by side, competing together in mufest, black or white, sound ship, and everything in between. They would all be idols, living their best lives performing for a crowd of adoring fans. Riku would’ve loved for this to happen.
Riku would’ve been happy.
He would’ve been happy.
Riku wouldn’t have passed away, alone and sad, yet still so forgiving towards Tenn despite him not being present beside his death bed.
Tenn grips his blankets to the point of his knuckles turning white, and continues to imagine.
He imagines the most popular idol group as of right now, Re:Vale, to be their seniors. They would’ve given them guidance and they would’ve been their mentors, their role models. He imagined a team named ŹOOĻ, who would’ve been a rival, a friend, an ally, an enemy, and everything in between.
He imagines so many more things, so many more what-ifs.
What if he were to be Riku’s side as he passed away? What if he were to have donated a lung and took the fall for Riku instead?
What if Riku left home without saying a word? What if he found someone better to take care of him?
What if Riku was alive and well? What if Riku was still waiting for him at home?
He imagines so many more things,
But no matter how hard he imagines, he knows that Riku will never come back.
He slumps back onto his bed, tired from all the thinking and imagining.
He curls up into a ball, gripping a pillow for comfort.
He stares lifelessly at the TV once again.
Tears gently fall from his pale cheeks.
“I’m sorry Riku… I’m so sorry...”
He silently closes his eyes.
“I miss you.”