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Jimin must be imagining things because for the past three hours or so he’s been hearing the same sound again and again but he can't seem to find the source.
The first time he thought he heard something he had asked Jungkook if the younger had heard the same and gotten a negative response. The second time he had looked furtively around for a minute or so before he figured it was just a trick of his mind and that the squeak of Taehyung’s new pair of trainers which he was wearing and dashing about the house in sounded awfully similar. Then, the third time Jimin had sworn he wasn't imagining things until he had entered the living room, scouring for the source of the noise, only to find some ad about cat food playing on the TV.
But this time it is definitely not his imagination. Not unless both his eyes and ears are deceiving him. Because there’s a cat sitting in their dorm bedroom, ears pricked, tail stiff, mouth half open in another tiny wail.
Just to check Jimin rubs his eyes and pinches his arm. Nope. The cat is still there, scowling up at him, looking pretty disgruntled for a cat.
“Um, meow?” Jimin tries, and the cat simply turns its head primly away.
| | |
“Hey guys,” Jimin calls as he pops his head out the bedroom door. “Does, um, anyone know who this cat belongs to?”
“Cat?” Hoseok says incredulously, his voice floating down the hallway. Jimin hears the scratch of a kitchen chair as Hoseok gets up. “What’s a cat doing in our dorms?!”
“Cat?!” Taehyung screeches from the living room where he had been playing a game on his tablet last Jimin saw. Jimin winces as he hears feet pound across the floor and he hopes their neighbour downstairs is out because this isn't the first time they've received a complaint about noise.
Taehyung pops his head over Jimin’s body – the only thing preventing the cat in their bedroom from bolting into the hallway – and his eyes round like coins.
“Hello kitty!” Taehyung says happily and slips under Jimin’s arm to reach for the cat. The cat hisses and backs up, alarmed, ears flattening and tail lashing. Undeterred, Taehyung scoops it up and squishes it to his chest. Jimin swears by the evil glint in the cat’s eyes that it is plotting Taehyung’s imminent demise the moment it is placed down.
“Where did this cat come from?” Hoseok asks, perplexed as he watches Taehyung enthusiastically pet the cat. Perhaps a little too enthusiastically. “Taehyung you’re going to rip its head off. Be gentler.”
Taehyung frowns and distracted, his grip loosens. The cat senses its opportunity and slips out like an eel, landing soundly on the ground. It skitters across the floor, claws clicking in its haste, but it still can’t get out – Hoseok is now blocking the door – so apparently it takes the next safest option, and that’s behind Jimin’s legs.
Taehyung pulls a face at Jimin. “Why do all the animals like you best?”
| | |
They hold a meeting to discuss what to do. Location, bedroom. Necessity, quite so. Members present, all but Namjoon and Yoongi who are workaholics and probably still at the studio.
This bedroom is the one with two sets of bunks for Jungkook, Jimin, Taehyung and Hoseok. Yoongi, Seokjin and Namjoon share the other room with three single beds squeezed together. However having lived together for nearly two years plus no one really cares who sleeps where and they all frequently change their preferred beds every now and then. They’re only having the meeting here because a) there’s more floor space, and b) no one wants to pick up the hissing cat and take it elsewhere.
They all hunker down on the floor in a circle, waiting as Seokjin and Jungkook slip into the room, having just returned from a quick trip out to the convenience store. Jungkook closes the bedroom door behind him and Seokjin drops the bags onto the floor and both their eyes widen when they see the cat peek its head out from behind Jimin as it scents newcomers. Upon seeing them staring, the cat flattens its ears and hisses, ducking back into hiding.
“So we've confirmed this cat is none of ours right?” Seokjin says, looking all of them, particularly Taehyung, in the eye. Hoseok shakes his head and sneezes – he may have a slight allergy to cats –, Jungkook gives a solemn shake of his head, and Taehyung just looks so forlorn that Seokjin knows he can’t be lying because if there's one thing Taehyung can't hide its glee.
“It can’t be a neighbours’,” Jungkook inserts, “Pets aren't allowed in the building.”
The all sit there pondering further possibilities.
“Well Namjoon and Yoongi-hyung would never own a cat,” Jimin says in a trailing voice. “They’re too busy to take care of one.” Let alone any of the other members, Jimin thinks and wrinkles his nose. God knows when was the last time Yoongi wasn't working or sleeping and had enough time to play with Jimin.
“I’ll call up Namjoon to check anyway,” Seokjin says with a defeated sigh and pulls out his phone. It rings for a few seconds and Jimin gets distracted by the way the cat’s ear prick in the direction of the ringtone. It looks so bewildered that Jimin can’t help but chuckle. That then attracts the cat’s attention and it swivels its head upwards to Jimin, his eyes narrowing into a slit glare and mouth parting in a little hiss. But in light of being greatly amused Jimin doesn't feel the least bit threatened and before he can think about all the possible things that could go wrong, his hand comes down to pet the junction between its ears and he starts rubbing a gentle path across its head.
Contrary to expectation of the cat unsheathing its claws and letting loose on Jimin it actually quietens, its whole structure slowly sinking back down and going loose. Jimin watches curiously as its eyes, previously flat and unforgiving now soften into something akin to…pleasure?
A voice breaks the monotone of the ringing. “Hey what’s up?” Namjoon says, sounding frazzled and distracted. He was probably in the middle of work. Or sleep. Or both.
“We have a bit of a furry problem in the house,” Seokjin says as he watches Jimin pet the cat into a state of contentment.
“A furry problem?” Namjoon echoes.
Seokjin wrinkles his nose with displeasure. “Like we have a cat in our dorm sort of problem.”
“A cat?!” Namjoon repeats in a screech and Seokjin sighs, pulling the phone away from his ear in a wince.
“Yes a cat. Now I presume it doesn't belong to you right?”
“Of course not!” Namjoon yelps. “I’d kill it in days. You remember the last time I tried to take care of that plant our fans sent us right?”
“Vividly,” Seokjin says dryly, recalling the rather pitiful image of yellowing, drooped leaves that Seokjin had to eventually dispose of quietly. He hopes the fans never find out the poor plant’s fate, particularly the sweet thirteen year old they presume had been the sender who had sounded so eager to please in her pink penned fan letter. “Can you ask Yoongi if he knows anything about it?”
“Yoongi?” Namjoon says, sounding puzzled. “Ask him yourself. He stayed at home today. Said he was busted from doing three all-nighters.”
Seokjin turns to look at the others. “Have you guys seen Yoongi?”
They shrug, all looking equally as surprised at the news.
“But if Yoongi’s not here then…where is he?” Seokjin asks aloud to four blank faces.
The cat meows and Jimin looks down at it, his hand pausing. It reaches up with one sheathed paw to bat at Jimin’s inanimate hand and lets out another little plaintive meow. There is a tiny little frown on its face, magnified when its whiskers twitch downwards. The cat pushes its creamy head forwards into Jimin’s hand and Jimin has no idea what it’s trying to say, but figures it probably wants more petting and so complies by running his fingers through the short fur there. It’s soft and addictive and he runs his hand from ear tip down to the base of the cat’s tail. It purrs in response, a full bodied thing, and Jimin’s heart melts a little.
“Do you know where hyung went?” Jimin asks the cat, not really expecting an answer but feeling like the cat wants inclusion in the conversation. The cat lets out a tiny huff in response and butts its head against Jimin’s hand again, meowing loudly. It has these tiny little teeth like a needle’s prick and it rears up on its hind legs to snap its mouth around Jimin’s fingers.
“Ouch!” Jimin hisses and wrestles his hand free. The cat sits back down looking distinctively smug and licks at its paw again.
It’s a tiny little thing, small and white from tip to toe except for two black patches on either ear and four grey little socks for paws. But it sure has one hell of a mean little bite and Jimin can’t help but feel this cat reminds him vividly of a certain other person…
“I’ll call him,” Seokjin says, sounding defeated as he watches Jungkook and Taehyung’s eyes get drawn to the cat. It’s easy to see their growing attachment for the feline and Seokjin doesn’t want to crush their hopes but it’s not happening. “We’re not allowed pets in the building remember,” he says warningly but they all ignore him.
Even Hoseok who is sniffing every now and then can’t help but coo over the cat’s fluffy visage. Jungkook gives into desire and crawls over to touch the cat who glares but permits one finger to tickle him under the chin.
“He’s not picking up,” Seokjin says with a frown as the call to Yoongi goes to voicemail. He’s ignored as Taehyung chirps, “Me too!” and slides over to join the petting fest. However the cat flicks its tail and darts away from him, clearly remembering its last encounter. Taehyung’s eyes grow puppy-ishly wide and he pouts.
“There there,” Hoseok says soothingly and pats him on the head instead. Taehyung’s frown doesn’t vanish but it diminishes slightly and he allows Hoseok to continue as he watches Jimin tug the cat out from behind him and back into the circle.
As Jimin moves to accommodate into a new position for the cat, his elbow connects with the mattress of Yoongi’s lower bunk and something black slides out from under his pillow.
“Ah hyung,” Jimin says as he reaches for it and Seokjin looks up to see Jimin holding what looks like Yoongi’s phone. “Looks like it ran out of battery,” he says as he tries to turn it on to no avail.
“So he was here?” Jungkook says, one finger teasing the cat who swipes at it with tiny paws. Seokjin eyes them both carefully, only letting Jungkook continue once he’s determined the claws are sheathed and safe.
“Then where is he now?” Seokjin squints and takes Yoongi’s phone off of Jimin and plugs it into the charger like the good hyung he is.
Seokjin’s phone buzzes and he picks it up. “Did you find Yoongi?” Namjoon asks immediately.
“No,” Seokjin says, “But we found his phone in Jungkook’s bunk. It’s dead.”
“Eh? Then where did hyung go?”
“That’s what I would like to know,” Seokjin says tersely. He prides himself on knowing where the members are at all times and Yoongi slipping through his fingers both irks and worries him.
“Oh and what are we doing about the cat? It’s still there right?”
“Yeah it is. I guess we’ll wait until manager-hyung gets back and ask him what to do…” Seokjin trails off as the cat looks suddenly very shocked, fur on end, eyes humorously almost as round as tennis balls.
“Hyung? What’s wrong? I’m heading back now and… hyung?”
“What’s wrong with the cat Jimin?” Seokjin asks him, like Jimin is suddenly some sort of cat expert or something. He can only shake his head in confusion as the cat hisses, shoulders hunched and spine arches. It backs away from Seokjin, eyes never leaving his face. Then, suddenly it bolts.
“Stop it!” Seokjin yells instinctively but it only seems to fuel the cat to run faster. It races for the door but Hoseok and Taehyung rise onto their knees, blocking its way. The cat skids and scoots backwards but to its left is Jungkook and to its right is Jimin and it is cornered.
With nothing but its last resort left it throws itself under the bed. However the feline has clearly underestimated the amount of dirty laundry that has ended up underneath there and it ends up skidding on some article of clothing, sliding on it out the other end.
All Seokjin manages to see is a blur of white and black as it shoots out the other end on what suspiciously looks like Taehyung’s bright red underwear. Then there’s a screech and a yelp and a thunk! as the cat makes contact with the wall.
Everyone winces, but sympathy quickly makes way for shock as a “fuck, ouch!” suddenly sounds from the other side of the bed. Everyone gets to their feet and peers around, expecting to see an irate white cat. Instead there’s an irate Yoongi, lying sprawled on the floor and tangled in dirty laundry.
“Fuck that hurts,” Yoongi hisses, the heel of one hand pressed to his temple.
“Hey! What’s going on guys!” Namjoon calls over the phone sounding confused and worried.
“Um,” Seokjin says, lifting the phone to his lips. “We may have a slightly different problem now.”
“A different problem?” Namjoon echoes.
“Like, um,” Seokjin coughs, wondering how to phrase it. “A less furry one?”
| | |
So now it’s a full seven membered meeting. Location, bedroom. Necessity, extremely so. Taehyung fills Namjoon in on the details in a hushed voice like this is all top secret or something. He doesn’t take his eyes off Yoongi who sites with his back to the bed and a pack of ice to his temple, a distinctly disgruntled expression on his face.
“I can hear you Taehyung,” he says loudly. “Every since word.”
Taehyung gives a little gasp and dives behind Namjoon like Yoongi is going to curse Taehyung into being a mouse or something.
Jungkook on the other hand doesn’t look scared, but suspicious. “You were a cat,” he says flatly, eyeing Yoongi with great apprehension as if this is all some elaborate magic trick he just can’t figure out.
“Yes I was a cat,” Yoongi snaps and winces as his head throbs.
“How were you a cat?” Jungkook asks relentlessly.
“If I knew, I’d tell you,” Yoongi hisses. “But I don’t, so zip it.”
Jungkook leans back but the look in his eyes say that he doesn’t believe Yoongi’s story one bit.
Hoseok leans forwards and tries to mediate the tension. “When did you turn into a cat hyung?” he asks carefully, his voice light and clear of intent.
“I don’t know,” he grumbles, unable to stay completely mad at Hoseok of all people. “All I know if that I was human before I went for a nap and when I woke up I was this furry little thing and everything was huge.”
“Like that’s any different from normal,” Namjoon says before he can help himself and Yoongi glares across the room at him. Hoseok and Seokjin sigh and Namjoon just snickers, clearly he just thinks the whole thing is a joke. Yoongi wishes he was a cat again just so he could sink his claws into his backside.
“What matters now,” Seokjin says with a click of his tongue, trying to detract Yoongi’s attention from Namjoon, “is if it’s going to happen again.” He looks to Yoongi as if Yoongi can handily supply the answer.
“Well,” Yoongi hesitates, looking almost vulnerable for the first time that night.
“Well?” Seokjin prompts.
Yoongi’s eyes flick downwards. “I don’t think so,” he says hesitantly. What he really means is I hope not.
| | |
But it does happen again, one week and two days later to be exact. They’re finishing up in the dance studio, steam fogging the mirrors and sweat coating the floor. Jimin sinks to the floor, dog-tired, unwilling to even make the short distance to the wall where there water bottles and towels lie in a pile. He’s not the only one. Only Seokjin somehow has the energy and willpower to make the journey and redistribute the goods. He’s in the middle of picking up an armful of water bottles when it happens.
One minute Jimin sees Yoongi out of the corner of his eye flop to the floor. The next he hears a surprised squeak and Jimin lifts his head to see a white cat lying on its back, paws in the air and a very, very surprised expression on its face.
“Hyung?” Jimin can’t help but ask incredulously.
Yoongi the cat turns to look at him, eyes wide with fear and whiskers twitching. He gives a frighten little meow and his grey paws paddle in the air.
“Again?” Seokjin moans, promptly dropping all the water bottles in favor of burying his face in his towel instead.
| | |
They sneak Yoongi back to dorms in Jimin’s hoodie. He complains a bit along the way, though Jimin isn’t sure if it’s because he probably hasn’t washed his hoodie in months or just because of the general stuffiness of being swaddled in material. However when Seokjin gives Yoongi a stern tap on the nose Yoongi shrinks into the cotton and stays quiet for the rest of the walk home.
Once at home Jimin kicks off his shoes carelessly and carries Yoongi to the bedroom. There he places down his bundled up hoodie and Yoongi immediately rolls out of it, nose wrinkled. He swipes at the material a few times with a disgusted hiss and saunters away from it, nose and tail held high.
Jimin just sighs at the sorry state of his hoodie, bitten, chewed and clawed. He rubs at his bare arms which are cold with sweat and chill. He’d like to go have a shower while the water is still hot but the chances of that are slim, what with Yoongi being a cat again and all being the more pressing problem. Seokjin is out calling the manager to him know they’re all home and fine and the others are slowly making their way in for what looks like another group meeting.
Jimin kicks his hoodie under the bunk where it will then join the other masses of sad articles collected under there and sinks down to the floor with a sigh. He didn’t get a change to properly cool down earlier and his legs are a little sore now. He rubs at them and air from the open window blows, making him shiver.
Yoongi watches him for a moment, dark eyes blinking slow and carefully. His tail swishes for one moment, the only sound in the room, and then to Jimin’s surprise he gets up and pads over, choosing to curl up right next to where Jimin’s left hand is propping him up on the floor. Yoongi is warm, a hot little heater. Jimin can feel the way his rib cage flexes in and out and almost immediately warmth creeps up Jimin’s left arm and the goosebumps fade away.
This is so Yoongi, even if right now he is a cat. He hates to put things into hasty words, preferring to show things through action or carefully shaped phrases and well-articulated tones. Words are a medium to be crafted carefully.
Jimin for once doesn’t have the words either, so he simply curls his left hand around and strokes Yoongi gently along his belly with two fingers. Yoongi lets out a tiny sneeze and presses himself more firmly into Jimin’s touch.
“Well?” Seokjin said, sounding tired and grumpy as he stomps in. Yoongi doesn’t lift his head to register Seokjin’s entry but his ears flick in his direction, little black capped tips. Jimin reaches over with his right hand to tickle at them.
“What do we do now?” Seokjin huffs as he sits down onto Hoseok’s bunk, watching Jimin stroke Yoongi. “It wasn’t a one-off event which means it could very well happen again. What are we going to do when we start promotions again?”
Yoongi’s ears flick with displeasure.
“Don’t give me that Yoongi,” Seokjin says sternly. “This is important. Are you sure you don’t know the trigger for why you keep transforming into a cat?”
Yoongi’s eyes narrow and slowly, deliberately, he lifts one paw and licks at it daintily. He’s clearly pissed and channels it by flat out ignoring Seokjin. It works as Seokjin visibly fumes and Yoongi brushes the paw over one ear, pleased.
“Jimin, I’m putting you in charge of the cat. Try and talk some sense into him.” And then he storms out, Namjoon hurrying after him to try and quash the flames. Seokjin doesn’t get angry often but when he does everyone steers clear of Seokjin until the explosives die down. Only Namjoon is masochistic enough to keep going back to try and quash them out.
Meeting adjourned, Jungkook rolls out of the room intending to snag first shower. Taehyung’s stomach growls and he gets to his feet and heads for the kitchen.
Yoongi narrows his eyes after their retreating backs and Jimin can see the calculated promises to make them pay for caring so little about his state of affair in the way his eyes glint.
“Seokjin’s probably right,” Hoseok says as he rocks back on his heels and stands up and Yoongi turns his glare to him instead. Uh-oh, Jimin thinks. Is Hoseok about to end up on Yoongi’s black list as well? “We can’t just hope this goes away. We need to find what’s causing you to keep turning into a cat hyung.”
Yoongi’s ears flick backwards and he turns his head pointedly away from Hoseok.
“I’m not going to talk to you when you’re like this hyung,” Hoseok says with a shrug, unperturbed by Yoongi’s stormy mood. “You like Jimin the best so I’m going to leave you two alone. We can talk more when you’re human again.” Then he’s out the door.
Yoongi’s tail swishes about like a whip as the door closes behind Hoseok and Hoseok has so been added to Yoongi’s blacklist.
Jimin looks down at Yoongi. “Is that true?” he says in a tone of disbelief. “You like me best?”
Yoongi gives him a sharp look that says absolutely not, and goes back to cleaning his fur.
| | |
“I am never washing myself with a tongue again,” Yoongi hisses the next morning as he rolls out bed, hacking and coughing. “I feel like I’ve swallowed an entire wig.”
Jimin rubs at his eyes and yawns, sitting up in his top bunk that is arranged adjacently to the bunk Yoongi’s borrowed last night. The bunk is technically Hoseok’s but what with Hoseok being slightly allergic and Seokjin and Yoongi have a silent face off, Hoseok and Yoongi have decided to swap bunks for the time being.
Jimin lets out a small sigh of relief as he tries to squash away the sleepiness. At least Yoongi has turned back over night, so hopefully his transformations don’t last longer than that. Jimin dream’s last night had been of Yoongi turning into a cat and never turning back. He’s glad his fears are unfounded.
There’s the sound of bed springs squeaking as Yoongi shuffles off the bed and Jimin turns, suddenly remembering that Hoseok’s bed has a loose spring to the top left and if Yoongi doesn’t watch it he might prick himself. He opens his mouth and his eyes, intending to tell Yoongi, but the sight of Yoongi’s getting out of the bunk makes his choke and promptly slam his eyes shut again, covering them with hands for secondary measure.
“What?” Yoongi grumbles, looking up at him.
“Clothes!” Jimin yelps, not opening his eyes even behind his fingers. The image however is burned on the back of his lid. “Clothes hyung!”
Yoongi looks down and the cough catches in his throat as he realizes he’s completely naked.
“Dammit,” he hisses and there’s the rustling of clothes as Jimin hopes (or not hopes?) that is Yoongi putting on clothes, and so he risks a peek through fingers just in time to see Yoongi bolt out the bedroom with what suspiciously looks like Jimin’s hoodie hastily thrown on.
Jimin flops back onto his bed with an exhale. He’s definitely not thinking about how Yoongi’s pale skin looks so similar to his creamy white fur and therefore how soft both must be. Okay, what is he even thinking now! This is his bandmate he’s thinking about. Min Yoongi, his hyung with an ever-sharp tongue at ready and all Jimin can think is how badly he wants to touch Yoongi’s skin- fur- no-
“Argh,” Jimin groans and stuffs his face into the pillow.
“Shut up,” Jungkook grumbles below and kicks the bottom of Jimin’s bunk with one foot before he turns over and goes back to sleep.
| | |
Yoongi turns into a cat twice more over the course of the next few days.
At first they suspect exhaustion because it’s only after working two nights straight in the studio or after a particularly hard session of dance practice that Yoongi changes. Namjoon (presumably under Seokjin’s orders) tells Yoongi that he should stay home for a bit and recuperate (which Jimin suspects he doesn’t entirely because the tiny bundle of white fur he uncovers in the morning is always swamped with sheets of crumpled lyrics and beats). Yoongi grumbles under his breath but does as he’s told and every other day he still changes.
Namjoon comes back one day with news that the company wants preparations for a comeback to begin within the next month or so. They all freeze in whatever state of action they had been in – Jungkook scrawling in a notebook, Seokjin flipping pancakes, Taehyung drinking milk, Jimin doing stretches – and then Yoongi chokes and the play button is pressed. Hoseok slides over and pats his back. They’re all thinking the same thing: if Yoongi can’t get his transformations under control by then, and he suddenly changes in the middle of a stage… well then the cat will be truly out of bag.
“Hyung,” Jimin says later that night when they’re both in their respective bunks. He rolls over to look down at Yoongi who’s scrolling through his phone. He doesn’t know where Jungkook is and he knows Taehyung is having one of his late night showers so they are the only two in the room. It's the perfect time to ask Yoongi the burgeoning questions that have been building. “Does it scare you?”
Yoongi hums. “Hm. What? Turning into a cat?”
“Yeah, that.” Jimin hugs his pillow to his chest and rolls again so that he’s staring up at the ceiling. He wonders what it must feel like to be a cat, to have four legs instead of two, ears and a tail instead of the usual human appendages. What must it be like to hear everything differently, seeing things at a different height, feel things through a different conduit? To go to sleep a human and wake a cat, and maybe wonder if you’ll ever turn back.
“Not really,” Yoongi says and Jimin rolls onto his belly again, surprised. He peers over the edge of the bunk down at Yoongi.
“Really?”
Yoongi breaks away from his phone to look up at Jimin. “Yeah, really,” he says. “I mean when I’m a cat it’s relaxing. It’s not like I stop thinking or anything, but it all kind of fades away into the background and I can forget about my worries.”
Huh. “Are you that worried about our comeback?” Jimin asks, because it’s always Yoongi who is the most bothered about their comebacks even if he doesn’t show it as much as Namjoon does.
A flicker of surprise dances across Yoongi’s face. It gives way to something that Jimin can’t discern. Yoongi’s lips press together and his eyes flick downwards, like he’s trying to hide it by locking it away behind lips and lids.
“Hyung?” Jimin prods, worried but Yoongi brushes him off by turning on his side to face the wall.
“It’s nothing. Just the usual. Songs and stuff.” Yoongi throws down his phone and pulls up the covers. “I’m tired. Night Jiminnie,” he says and tugs the blanlket up to his ears, blocking Jimin’s view of him completely.
Jimin rolls back onto his bed and tries not to think about Yoongi’s expression. Is something other than their comeback bothering him? And if so, why won’t he tell Jimin?
| | |
The cat transformations continue for the next few weeks or so, on and off, getting more and more unpredictable.
Sometimes now Yoongi will simply take a nap as a human and someone will walk into the bedroom minutes later to find a furry white ball curled up in the covers instead. Jimin then has to go wake him up because no one else will dare go near Yoongi when he has teeth and claws that he is not unwilling to use. Another five minute later though and he’ll emerge from the bedroom human again.
At other times he changes in more inconvenient places such as in the shower or in the middle of doing laundry, and Jimin will be the one who hears his plaintive cries for help and has to go rescue him from the bathtub or the suffocating pile of dirty clothes.
Sometimes though, Yoongi doesn’t fully transform.
There’s one time where he pads into the kitchen at around eleven, yawning so wide that his eyes are slits and he’ll sit down, not seeing the way everyone is staring at him. His attention is on the fridge, which he opens and reaches in for the milk. Only when he pulls back does he realize everyone’s silence.
“What?” Yoongi asks with a raised eyebrow.
Jungkook just points to his backside. Yoongi looks down and drops the milk when he sees a tail flicking back and forth. It’s only by pure reflex that he then catches the carton before it crashes to the floor and spills its contents everywhere.
“My- what- tail?!” he screeches, slamming the carton down and spinning to try and see it. It’s white and as long as Yoongi’s arm. It swishes about like it has a mind of its own, knocking into the cupboard door and making Yoongi wince.
“Ouch,” he hisses and grabs at his tail to make it keep still. “What the fuck are you doing here?”
Taehyung scoots closer and prods a finger at the tip of Yoongi’s twitching tail. “Can you feel that hyung?”
“Yes Taehyung,” Yoongi replies a little tersely as he nurses his bruised tail.
“Here as well?” Taehyung prods another spot further up the tail.
“Yes that too.”
“And like, here?” Taehyung probes towards the base of the tail, where the fur of his tail vanishes into the waistband of Yoongi’s sweatpants. Yoongi yelps and leaps away from Taehyung, landing rather gracefully a foot or so away.
“Taehyung!” he hisses, eyes narrowing. “Don’t touch there!”
“I was just curious,” Taehyung says, unabashed. “I mean, this is so weird. You’re like a half-cat, half-human hybrid. What does it looks like there? Does the fur just turn to skin? If your tail just attached to your ass? Is it even detachable, or-“ he peers around Yoongi and Yoongi smacks at his wandering hands.
“No,” he snarls, baring his teeth in a rather feline fashion and Taehyung freezes as he takes note of how sharp Yoongi’s teeth have been looking of late.
“Yoongi!” Seokjin scolds, “Control yourself!”
It takes effort. Everyone in the kitchen (which is minus Namjoon, Jimin and Hoseok) watch with wide eyes as Yoongi forces himself to calm down. His pupils which have dilated slowly relax, and his tail stops lashing about, stilling and stiffening instead. Slowly Yoongi pries his fingers off the table top and everyone can hear his soft exhale.
“I’m going for a walk,” he says tersely and pushes past them all.
Yoongi bumps into Jimin in the hallway, the younger just out from the shower. He can’t help the way his nose twitches at the scent of Jimin’s shampooed hair. Even before he’s always liked the citrus scented shampoo Jimin favors and now the scent is magnified tenfold and overwhelming. Yoongi halts and it’s enough to let Jimin see the tension coiled in his body, his hands tight at his side and his shoulders hunched.
Too late, Yoongi realizes he’s worried Jimin again.
“Move,” he says but Jimin doesn’t.
“Yoongi!” Seokjin calls, rushing out of the kitchen. He looks flustered. “You can’t go outside! Your tail-“
Jimin glances down and his eyes widen with realization as he sees Yoongi’s tail swishing about angrily.
“I got it,” Yoongi grinds out, words coarse and harsh and he stalks off instead to his bedroom.
“What happened?” Jimin asks Seokjin, looking after Yoongi’s angry back and his lashing tail.
“I…” Seokjin faltered, looking guilty. “I may have told him to try and control himself. I was worried he was going to hurt Taehyung…”
“I’ll go talk to him,” Jimin says quickly, bounding forwards to grasp Seokjin’s hands. “It’ll be alright.”
Seokjin’s eyes soften with gratitude. “Please.”
Jimin nods and goes after Yoongi. Yoongi is face down in his pillow, his tail lying limp to one side. Jimin observes it, intrigued. The tail slips into Yoongi’s sweatpants, but like, does it then smoothly transit into skin? Or is there like a patch of fur there as well? And is the tail as soft as Yoongi’s fur is when he’s a complete cat?
“What do you want Jimin?” Yoongi asks, voice muffled by the pillow.
Jimin freezes, feeling very much like he’s just been caught in the act of a crime.
“I, um- How did you know it was me?”
Yoongi lifts his head off the pillow slightly, his fringe mussed and folded in. “I can smell you,” he says, tapping the side of his nose.
“Oh,” Jimin sinks down onto the edge of the mattress. “Is it only when you’re a cat, or well,” he glances over at Yoongi’s tail, “part cat?”
“It’s best when I’m a cat, but I can still distinguish you guys by scent when I’m human.”
Jimin’s not too sure if he’s completely comfortable with Yoongi being able to tell if it’s him or not through scent alone. All he knows is that it means he’ll never be able to play a prank on Yoongi again.
“Do you…dislike being a cat now?” Jimin asks carefully, wondering if Yoongi’s feelings have changed since he last asked.
Yoongi closes his eyes and his lips downturn. A ragged exhale forces his lips to part and he flops down into the pillow again. “I don’t know,” he mumbles back to Jimin. “I don’t know. I’m just tired…”
Without even thinking Jimin leans over and his hand comes down on the back of Yoongi’s head. Yoongi’s whole body stills – even his tail – and only then does Jimin realize what his body has subconsciously done. Yoongi’s not a cat this time round and…
“Are you going to continue or not?” Yoongi says gruffly through the cotton sheets and Jimin can’t help the grin that slips out on his face, foolishly wide.
He moves his hand back and forth the crown of Yoongi’s head and surprisingly he’s reminded of the softness of Yoongi’s cat fur. Jimin watches as Yoongi relaxes, his limbs going loose and his head rolling sideways into Jimin’s touch. Even his tail does a few lazy flicks back and forth.
“We’ll figure this out somehow hyung,” Jimin murmurs.
“Mm okay,” Yoongi hums back, eyes still closed and as Jimin’s fingers skate down the nape of Yoongi’s neck, stroking over the finer hairs there, Jimin swears that he feels a vibration in Yoongi’s throat.
He pauses.
And squints.
Yoongi opens one eye to stare at him.
“Are you purring hyung?” he asks, because it has to be asked.
Yoongi’s other eye flies open hurriedly and he back into the wall so quickly that he hits his head hard against it. “Fuck, ouch, yes, I mean no, I mean-“
“How are things?” Namjoon calls out, popping his head into the bedroom with what possibly could be the worst timing ever.
Yoongi glares at him as he rubs the back of his head and Namjoon just gives him a once over.
“Looks like whatever you did Jimin did the trick.”
Jimin looks down and indeed, Yoongi’s tail is gone.
“Huh,” he says. “I guess it did.”
Namjoon takes a step into the room. “What did you do?”
Yoongi’s eyes flare wide and he throws his hands over Jimin’s mouth before he can say a word. “Nothing,” he hisses, eyes flashing in warning and Namjoon backs off, hands up high in surrender.
“Okay, nothing,” he says, but there’s a grin on his face and Yoongi wants nothing more than to smack it right off. “Nothing at all,” he says coyly with a wiggle of his eyebrows.
“You-“ Yoongi hisses and his tail and ears aren’t there anymore but Jimin can almost imagine the flat way his ears would lie and the sharp angle of his tail. But what’s more significant is that Yoongi’s hands are still over his lips, and they’re a little dry and rough, but the pads of his fingertips are soft and it makes Jimin thinks of his kitten paws and how squishy and soft they look and suddenly his mouth goes incredibly dry. On instinct his tongue darts out to wet them.
“Gross,” Yoongi says as he retracts his hands and Namjoon bursts out laughing.
“I’m going to kill you,” Yoongi hisses and leaps off the bed, taking chase of Namjoon who dashes out of the bedroom, still laughing.
Jimin feels amusement bubble up in his chest but no desire to follow them. He looks down at his hands which still tingle with the softness of Yoongi’s hair. He places his fingertips to his lips and wonders at the gentleness of Yoongi’s touch.
| | |
There’s another time when Yoongi half-transforms. Yoongi doesn’t notice it at first when he comes out, hands rubbing at eyes disused to bright light after spending nearly four hours straight in the dimmed lighting of the studio.
Lately Yoongi has had a better grip over his transformations, only changing at night instead of sporadically throughout the day, so they’ve let him out of the house more now so long as he’s with someone else in case he does accidentally change. Right now those people are that’s Jimin, Jungkook and Hoseok who are outside in the dance practice room whilst Yoongi is inside working on new beats.
He comes out, probably for a coffee break, and that’s when Jimin sees it. Black tipped and fine haired, the ears twitch in response to the noise in the dance room. Jungkook and Hoseok have their headphones in, each working on their own respective routines, and so they don’t register Yoongi’s entrance. However Jimin can’t help but stare as Yoongi’s cat ears flick left when Jungkook stomps down particularly hard and then right when Hoseok throws open the door roughly to go answer a phone call.
A smile spreads across Jimin’s face and he can barely keep it contained. He’s not going to pass up on this opportunity to have fun.
“Want some water hyung?” Jimin calls, holding up and shaking his half full bottle.
Yoongi looks over, his ears flicking up at the sound of Jimin’s voice and he pads over. “Yeah, okay,” he says, voice sounding a little rough with disuse and he drops down cross-legged next to Jimin and takes the proffered bottle.
Jimin watches amused as Yoongi tips back the bottle and his ears flick backwards. Jimin reaches out with one finger to touch the tip of one ear and it twitches towards him in response. He pulls back his hand just as Yoongi tips his head down, eyes narrowing at Jimin suspiciously.
“What are you doing?”
“Nothing,” Jimin says quickly and Yoongi stares, but lets him go when he gets nothing out of him. He caps the bottle and hands it back to Jimin with a grunt of thanks.
Jungkook gives another particularly hard stomp as he twists and his foot comes down. Yoongi’s head turns sharply, his ears angling towards the sound and Jimin has to suppress a laugh. He reaches out and pokes Yoongi’s other ear which twitches towards him and Yoongi spins, glaring once again at Jimin.
“Seriously? What are you playing at?”
“Nothing hyung,” Jimin says, but it doesn’t really work with his hands over his mouth, trying to hold back the laughter that threatens to spill through.
“Spill,” Yoongi orders, scooting close to Jimin, eyes flat and suspicious. Jimin shakes his head, eyes closed and hand over his mouth, unwilling to speak lest he just bursts out laughing.
But then he feels Yoongi’s warm breath beating against his lips and he opens his eyes on instinct.
“Go on,” Yoongi says, a lazy curl to his lips.
“I- uh-,” Jimin stammers, momentarily distracted as he realizes how close Yoongi suddenly is. From here he can pick out each individual hair of Yoongi’s ear fur, the exact same shade as his currently dyed black hair. The transition from fur to hair is so smooth that Jimin can’t see where one ends and the other begins and it’s irking him so much that his fingers twitch with the urge to run through Yoongi’s hair and pick out the exactly dividing line.
Yoongi’s eyes flash with irritation and Jimin knows the signs well enough to realize he’s this close to getting clawed, figuratively speaking of course.
He opens his mouth, trying to find something to say in his defense. Then, his savior comes in the form of a hand that lands on the crown of Yoongi’s head, right between his ears. Yoongi jumps, coming forwards so that his nose bumps into Jimin’s.
“You have ears hyung,” Jungkook comments as he tugs at them.
“What? Ouch-“ Yoongi winces as Jungkook pulls at one ear particularly hard. “Off!” Yoongi spins, slipping out of Jungkook’s grip much to the younger’s amusement. He backs up into Jimin and glares down at the youngest before looking at the mirror, his eyes widening as he realizes the truth in Jungkook’s words.
“Well damn,” he hisses softly as he watches his ears move in the mirror. “And I didn’t even realize it…”
At that, Yoongi turns, eyes narrowing onto Jimin. “You knew,” he frowns. “And you didn’t tell me.”
Guilty as charged, Jimin ducks his head, a smile spreading.
“Jimin,” Yoongi growls and Jimin imagines that if Yoongi was a cat right now his fur would be on end, whiskers twitching erratically. Jimin’s come to see human-Yoongi and cat-Yoongi as one and the same and because of that now the normally fierce and frightening Yoongi that in Jimin’s pre-debut day used to give him nightmares and cold sweat is reduced to nothing more than a fluff ball.
“It was cute hyung,” Jimin says in his own defense, hands coming up as Yoongi pounces and pushes him to the floor.
“Cute? I dare you to say that again Park Jimin,” Yoongi says with a raised eyebrow and pricked ears. All he needs now is his tail and…
“But you are,” Jimin says earnestly and Yoongi’s ears flick uncomfortably.
“Park Jimin…” he says warningly, but then Namjoon speaks up.
“Now if you two are done flirting-“
Jimin’s water bottle goes flying in the general direction of Namjoon, Yoongi’s reflexes astonishingly fast. Namjoon yelps and ducks out of the practice room, narrowly avoiding the plastic missile.
“My water bottle,” Jimin whines, glad it’s plastic and not metal or else there would be a dent in it.
“Shush,” Yoongi says and presses the heel of his right palm to Jimin’s lips. Kitten paws, Jimin thinks again, and vows that the next time Yoongi changes he’s going to investigate their level of squishiness. “I’m going to kill Namjoon. Don’t get in my way.”
“But then we won’t have a leader anymore,” Jungkook comments, content to watch entertainment unfold.
“You can be leader Jungkook,” Yoongi offers and Jungkook brightens. “Meanwhile-“ he moves to get off Jimin and after Namjoon when Jimin reaches up to pat the space between Yoongi’s ears. Yoongi freezes and his ears upwards as Jimin rubs up and down.
“Seokjin-hyung wouldn’t appreciate you killing Namjoon-hyung,” Jimin says amicably as Yoongi sinks back down to accommodate the stretch of Jimin’s arm. It’s interesting to watch as unconsciously Yoongi relaxes, his shoulders losing their tension and his eyes looking not as murderous as before.
“Huh,” Jungkook snorts from behind them. “To think Yoongi-hyung is actually this easy to tame.”
Yoongi’s eyes widen and he spins around to tackle Jungkook to the ground. “I’ve changed my mind,” he mock-growls into Jungkook’s ear. “You can stay maknae. I’ll be leader instead.”
“No way hyung,” Jungkook retorts as he tries to wriggle free. “I’ll be both maknae and leader. You’d suck at either anyway.”
“Brat,” Yoongi hisses playfully, his ears twitching back and forth, and he proceeds to tickle Jungkook until the maknae concedes defeat.
| | |
Jimin’s lying in bed that night thinking over what Jungkook had said earlier. That Yoongi is that easy to tame. Like normally Yoongi is some sort of wild force and only recently has he devolved into this house pet of theirs.
Jungkook is wrong. Yoongi hasn’t changed per say; he’s always been like this. Rough words and a scowl are his façade, but a façade is all it is. Deep inside Yoongi has always been this easy to please. It just takes time and observation to realize that.
Once upon a time when Jimin had first signed on with BitHit Yoongi had been this cold, impenetrable being. Now Jimin realizes that Yoongi just isn’t good with words. Like, he’s brilliant with writing lyrids and finding the rhymes that send shivers down your arms, but speaking on the spot? He's terrible.
The more Jimin thinks about it the more it all clicks. Cats are independent creatures, fiercely proud. So is Yoongi. They have graceful features and sharp teeth and claws, but deep inside they are can be clumsy creatures at time. And at the heart of it all Yoongi is still so very human. He still gets tired and frustrated, he gets hurt and hurts, he craves human touch but is scared of reaching out and…
Jimin pauses in his thoughts; he holds up one hand. His hands are bigger than Yoongi’s, broader at the tips and at the palm. Yoongi has always had decisively more delicate fingers. Jimin’s never really thought about it until now but he is. Yoongi is strong and fierce and brave but he's glass sometimes, strong until a certain point and then he shatters. Jimin wonders if maybe these transformations are a proxy for Yoongi’s internal desires. Maybe as a cat he can achieve what Yoongi the human cannot.
The more Jimin thinks about, the more he wonders how much as Yoongi been hiding and how much he doesn't want that to be the case.
| | |
The thought stays on Jimin’s mind for the next week or so. Yoongi’s frequent transformations have not abated, rather they’ve increased, but they’ve all gotten used to it now. None of them jump when Yoongi strolls into the living room and leaps onto the couch to join them all when Sketchbook or Running Man is on and none of them mind when it comes round to dinner time and Yoongi can’t eat from a plate so they grab a bowl and scoop dinner into there instead. Yoongi too seems to have become used to the process to the point where Jimin starts to wonder if Yoongi is spending more time as a cat than as a human.
“What?” Namjoon asks, surprised when Jimin broaches the topic with him. “I don’t know. Is he?
“Is he what?” Hoseok asks, coming into the hallway where Namjoon is lacing up his shoes, waiting for Hoseok and Yoongi before the three of them head to the studio. If there’s one marked change since the beginning of Yoongi’s cat transformations it’s that now he always goes to the studio with someone else. He acts like it’s an annoyance but Jimin can see in his half-hearted scowl that Yoongi actually quite likes the company.
“Changing more often,” Namjoon repeats for Hoseok’s benefit. “Yoongi we mean.”
“Is he?” Hoseok echoes, eyes widening. “He’s never done it when we’re at the studio thank god, but maybe back in the dorms he does?” Hoseok tilts his head, thinking.
“Well when was the last time he changed?” Namjoon says, logical as always.
“Last night,” Jimin replies instantly.
Namjoon holds up one finger. “And before that?”
“The night before.”
Another finger. “And before that?”
“The whole of that afternoon as well.”
Another finger. And an increasingly creased brow. “And before that?”
Jimin pauses, licking his lips. “Well we had a day off, so I think he just spent the entire day as a cat.”
Namjoon drops his hand and his mouth falls open. “Are you saying that whenever we don’t have schedule or work to do Yoongi just stays as a cat?”
Jimin nods silently.
“Can he control his transformations now?” Hoseok asks, wide-mouthed with surprise.
“Um.” Jimin scratches the back of his head. “I think hyung says it’s something like he can’t control when he turns, but he can sort of will himself to turn back. And I don’t think he’s so adverse to the whole cat thing, so he likes to stay a cat if he can…”
Jimin trails off, realizing just how bad that sounds. Yoongi preferring to stay a cat rather than a human?
Namjoon scratches the back of his head, his unconscious habit when he doesn’t know what to say.
“Well then.” Hoseok is the one who fills the awkward silence. He reaches forwards and grabs a random pair of trainers. The sound it makes as it clunks to the floor makes Jimin jump. “Looks like this is more of a problem than we realized.”
| | |
Seokjin is the one to ask Yoongi.
“Has anything been bothering you lately Yoongi?” he says casually over dinner when for once Yoongi is human and scraping at the bottom of his bowl with a spoon.
Yoongi pauses in the midst of licking the back of spoon. He blinks twice and then lowers the spoon. “What do you mean?”
Seokjin shrugs and reaches over the table for the soy sauce, playing it cool and all. “We were just wondering if there was anything up, since you’ve been changing into a cat more often lately.”
Jimin can see the way Yoongi’s eyes harden like flint. He doesn’t like being talked about behind his back. His chair scrapes and quick as the flick of a tail Yoongi is gone from the dinner table.
“Why can’t he ever open up to us,” Seokjin sighs and his expression makes Jimin’s heart pang.
He throws down his spoon into his unfinished bowl and takes chase after Yoongi.
“Hyung!” He calls after him. “Please don’t do this. We were just worried about you, that’s all.”
Yoongi halts and his shoulders slump. Jimin can see the way some terrible burden is cast atop them. His hyung has never look so fragile before.
“I’m sorry,” Yoongi says in a scraping voice, like the sound of a spoon at the bottom of an empty, stone bowl, cold and ringing. “I just… I’m tired I guess.”
“Tired of what?” Jimin says softly, because he knows Yoongi isn’t talking about the conventional lack of sleep. Yoongi’s been sleeping more than all of them put together, and that’s an achievement. As it is Yoongi has always needed around ten hours of sleep when schedule or work doesn’t demand elsewise. As a cat he seems to require even more. They’ve all gotten used to seeing Yoongi curled up in a tiny furry ball on a chair or sprawled face first into the sheets around the house. It’s normal, but abnormally so.
Physical tiredness can’t be cause.
Yoongi half turns, just enough for Jimin to catch the glint of his eyes in the half-lit, half-dark hallways and they’re like liquid pools, tremulous and with no end in sight.
“Hyung-“ Jimin reaches out for him on instinct, but Yoongi flinches away, and Jimin’s hand falls short. He’s never felt rejection as keenly as this.
He stares at his hand and the empty space between him and Yoongi. “Why won’t you tell us what’s wrong?” he says, hating the plaintive way his words sound.
Yoongi opens his mouth, his lips shaping soundless syllables like he can’t quite find the words or give voice to them. And then, “I’m sorry,” he says, turning away and letting the bedroom door fall close behind him. “I just don’t know myself either.”
| | |
Yoongi doesn’t talk to anyone for the next three days. He doesn’t go to the studio. And he doesn’t leave his bed.
He’s been a cat for the past three days straight.
“Hyung,” Jimin says softly as he kneels in front of Yoongi’s bunk where the cat is curled up deep in the nest of his blankets. He knows Yoongi is awake and has heard him because of the reflexive way his ears had twitched, but Yoongi doesn’t make any move to pull his nose out of his paws and Jimin knows that means Yoongi wants him to leave him alone. But he can’t. He won’t.
“You can’t just stay a cat forever hyung,” Jimin says firmly and his only response is a tiny muted hiss. “Look at yourself hyung. If you stay a cat how will you ever rap again? Or make music? Or even eat your favorite kalbi? Hm?”
Yoongi just tucks his nose in deeper and curls up even tighter.
Jimin lets out a frustrated huff and leans over. He’s tired of Yoongi’s silence and he’s going to get an answer out of Yoongi, no matter what. His hand comes down on Yoongi’s scruff, his every intention to pick the cat up, but Yoongi seems to sense this and in a movement so smooth Jimin can only recall it in retrospect, Yoongi unfolds. He unsheathes his claws and bares his teeth and Jimin doesn’t even get a chance to respond as Yoongi’s paws swipes cleaning across the space between the two of them.
There is a pregnant moment as Jimin stares at his hand, watching the almost slow motion trickle of blood down it. He can tell Yoongi did not mean it at all from the way the cat’s eyes widen, pupils dilating in fear, and how he backs off slowly, fur on end, legs trembling.
“Hyu-“ Jimin begins, but Yoongi doesn’t let him finish. He leaps off the bed in one fluid motion and he’s out the door. Jimin turns a heartbeat too late to see the flick of his white tail vanish and then there’s a surprised yelp that sounds like Hoseok falling. Jimin rushes out in time to see the chaos of the living room.
Hoseok is indeed on the floor, one hand gripping a chair that he must have reflexively grabbed for to slow his fall. Taehyung is flattened against the wall, convenience store bags littering the floor around his feet.
“Where’s Yoongi?” Jimin croaks, fearing the answer he knows is about to come.
Jungkook at the entrance points silently to the open door.
| | |
Rain lashes down and Yoongi is still missing.
“Hyung!” Jimin calls frantically as he dashes around the corner, the puddles soaking his jeans and his sneakers. “Hyung! Please come out!”
Jimin can hear Taehyung and Seokjin doing the same from the next street down. Jungkook and Hoseok have taken the opposite direction, and Namjoon is rushing on his way home from the studio.
“I’m sorry hyung!” Jimin yells hoarsely, feeling his voice give way. “I didn’t mean it. I shouldn’t have forced an answer from you. I won’t do it again. So please come back!”
He hears a rustling of bushes, but when he turns it’s only a soaked grey tabby rushing for cover. He turns with every movement he catches out the corner of his eye only to feel betrayed. His heart sinks lower and lower with every street he scours. Surely Yoongi couldn’t have gotten that far away.
And then, like a miracle, he finds Yoongi at the end of the pathway. His fur is plastered to his skeleton and he doesn’t move. It’s as if his paws are glued to the very ground, like he couldn't decide whether to keep going or not. His eyes are fixed into the distance and water drips from his fur to the hard gravel below.
“Hyung,” Jimin says, relief pouring straight out of him and Yoongi hears him, his head jerking up. Time unfreezes and Jimin can see panic in his eyes. He flees.
“Hyung!” Jimin yells after him and he drops his umbrella, taking chase. His arms pump in sync with his legs and he thanks the heavens above that he chose to wear his new trainers that had better grip because even though they’re soaked and ruined now it means better traction and slowly he gains on Yoongi.
“Please stop hyung!”
Either Yoongi doesn’t hear him or he doesn’t want to because he just keeps on running, his four paws practically flying off the ground. Being a feline must have granted Yoongi more athleticism than he’s ever had in his entire life because damn is he fast.
“Hyung! Yoongi! Please,” Jimin pants between strides. “Stop running away!”
His last words come out a yell, and he must look like an absolute madman, chasing after a cat and yelling, but it seems to strike some chord because Yoongi halts, paws tripping over one another and he slows.
Jimin skids to a stop next to him. His hands come down on his knees as he pants for breath and he can see Yoongi’s rib cage is rising and falling rapidly as well.
“Come home hyung,” Jimin says, voice harsh and choppy between breaths and Yoongi twitches, turning to look at him. His whispers and fur are plastered to his face and his eyes looks despairingly wide. “Let’s go home.”
He holds out one hand and Yoongi seems to collapse in one himself, tail drooping, ears wilting. Rain soaked he looked so small and lonely. Jimin knees with some effort and holds open his arms. He half expects Yoongi to turn tail but he also half knows that this is what Yoongi has been waiting for all along, so when Yoongi slides into his grasp and lets Jimin pick him up and cradle him close to his chest, Jimin doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t need to.
| | |
Both of them get raging fevers the next day and Seokjin tucks them into Yoongi’s bunk with a sigh. Yoongi is curled into a tight ball at his side, so warm to touch that it’s like a live furnace licking at Jimin’s shoulder. He doesn’t complain though.
“Sleep,” Seokjin orders sternly as he flicks off the light and closes the door. He’s ordered everyone out until the two of them recover so they have the room to themselves.
“Hyung?” Jimin mumbles when he’s sure Seokjin is long gone. His voice comes out nasally and distorted, his airways so congested that his words are mumbled. Yoongi however lets out a small noise in response to tell Jimin he hears him.
“When we get better will you tell me what’s wrong?”
There’s a stillness which is equivalent to a pause of silence. It is then that Jimin remembers Yoongi’s words. I don’t know either, he had said and Jimin realizes that some things just can’t be labelled. Sometimes you just feel like the ground is dropping out from beneath you and everything is so irrationally wrong, but there are no words to define what exactly is wrong. Maybe, just maybe, this is what Yoongi is feeling right now. Jimin can sort of sympathize because he's been there and felt that and he knows how terribly confusing it can be.
“It doesn’t have to be anything major,” he goes on, trying to extend a helping hand. “I mean even it’s a small thing, you can tell me. If you’re worried about something I’ll try to help you. If you’re tired or hungry I’ll bring you something to eat. If you’re lonely I’ll stay up to play games with you. Don’t try to shoulder it all yourself hyung.”
He pauses to cough and when the hacking finishes he feels a brush of something soft against his cheek. Jimin turns to see Yoongi’s tail swish away. Yoongi is looking at him, eyes soft. He stretches forwards slightly and nuzzles at Jimin’s cheek.
It’s such an earnest action that Jimin can’t help but smile even though it hurts. Yoongi gets it. Jimin doesn't need to say anything more.
He falls asleep to the rhythm of Yoongi breathing and the warmth of his tiny furry body. He wakes briefly ten hours later to a human Yoongi, somehow dressed in Jimin’s old hoodie that he thought got thrown away ages ago, curled up against his side. Yoongi's breath tickles his neck and it smells stale like he hasn't brushed his teeth in days (four to be exact) but he's human again and that is what matters.
This time Jimin falls asleep to the heavier breaths of human Yoongi and to the warmth of his human frame.
| | |
Yoongi’s transformations don’t go away completely but the situation does get better. Yoongi begins to get inklings of when he’s going to transform – a kind of tingling sensation at the tip of my ears, he had said once when Jimin had asked how – so it interferes with practice less.
Comeback preparations are now in full swing and Yoongi begins going to the studio more and more often. But unlike previously, this time Jimin does still get to see Yoongi, not just flashes of him as he rushes about but properly time spent together.
Sometimes Yoongi comes to him, like one lazy Sunday afternoon when they don’t have dance practice and it’s important for them to take regular breaks before those cannot be afforded and every moment then becomes schedule.
Jimin is soaking up the break by doing mindnumbingly nothing. Aka, he’s just stretched out on someone’s bunk absently scrolling through some manhwa that he’s behind on but isn't all that desperate to catch up on.
He hears a meowing sound and a soft scratch of claws. Jimin looks over the edge of the bed to see Yoongi in cat form pawing at the mattress.
He puts down the tablet and leans over to pick Yoongi up. Yoongi goes all loose limbed and lets Jimin pick him up easily, his body elongating and his tail drooping as Jimin lifts him.
“You turned again?” Jimin says to make conversation and Yoongi flicks his tail as Jimin drops his down onto his chest. “What was it this time?”
Yoongi sneezes and kneads his paws on Jimin’s chest. It tickles somewhat and Jimin laughs.
“Did you just turn so you could take a nap?” Jimin asks between chuckles.
Yoongi responses by turning three times and curling into a ball on Jimin’s chest.
“Are you going to sleep here hyung?” Jimin laughs. “Did you come here to just me as a pillow?”
Yoongi bats his paws down onto Jimin’s chest, a soft little thud that he barely feels. He stretches his jaw widely, baring his tiny teeth and pink tongue, and then he buries his nose in his paws and falls asleep to the rise and fall of Jimin’s chest.
Jimin lets him. Yoongi’s been working hard lately and he says he sleeps better when he’s a cat. Jimin half wonders if the only reason Yoongi still turns into a cat sometimes is because he likes being all languid and lazy and because as a white fluffball whom no one can refuse, everyone just lets him do so.
Jimin watches Yoongi sleep. He has to suppress the urge to flick Yoongi’s ear as they twitch from time to time as if he is dreaming or the impulse to grab his phone and take loads of pictures of his sleeping face. He entertains himself by stroking Yoongi along the spine in a gentle, rhythmic motion. His mind drifts and it is only when Jimin hears the front door open and the noisy announcement of Taehyung and Hoseok trooping in that Jimin realizes how late it is. He looks out the window and the sky is a darkening purple.
“What time is it?” he asks Hoseok when he comes in to drop off his bags.
“Seven,” Hoseok replies and Jimin startles. He sits up gently, trying not to disturb Yoongi, but apparently fails as Yoongi lets out a tiny disgruntled meow and curls up even tighter.
Hoseok notices and walks over. “He looks comfortable,” he comments with a tiny smile tugging at his lips.
“I guess,” Jimin says, unable to help the smile of his own. “But I forgot to do laundry and Seokjin-“
“I’ll do it,” Hoseok says, waving off Jimin’s protests. “Yoongi-hyung’s going to be grumpier if you wake him up. Better you stay on cat duty.”
Jimin snorts at the idea of ‘cat duty’ being his new chore but allows Hoseok to take over his job. He settles down and Yoongi relaxes, still asleep. His tiny chest rises and falls and Jimin reaches over to gently stroke Yoongi on the belly. He’s warm and cosy and this vibrating bundle of fur and slowly Jimin feels his lids grow heavy and he falls asleep with Yoongi a warm bundle on his chest.
Then there are other times when Jimin goes to Yoongi.
It’s early in the morning, something like two am, and Yoongi is still in the studio doing some test-runs for a guide audio for some song that may end up on their next album. Everyone else is back at the dorms fast asleep but Jimin feels like it’s these sort of moments that led Yoongi to first transform and so here he is, at one fifty in the morning and knocking on the studio door.
“Jimin?” Yoongi says with a yawn, his voice cracking and catching. Jimin finds himself mirroring Yoongi’s yawn as he comes in. “What are you doing here, it’s late.”
“Come home hyung,” Jimin says, his voice going unwittingly soft.
Yoongi flashes him a quick smile, weary but elated at the same time. “Not just yet. I want to finish this verse at least before tomorrow.”
“But you’re tired hyung,” Jimin interjects, closing the studio door behind him. “At least take a break.”
Yoongi gives a little sigh and stretches, his arms clicking as he does so. “I guess it couldn't hurt,” he says grudgingly.
“C’mere,” Jimin says and pats at the couch. He sinks down into the plush and stretches out on it. He knows Yoongi will come.
“I'm not a cat right now,” Yoongi says, voice a little tight but he sounds closer, just a few footsteps away.
Jimin’s eyes are closed but he shifts up to make room for Yoongi. “This wouldn't be the first time,” he says and Yoongi flushes at the memory.
“Brat,” Yoongi grumbles but flops down onto the couch as well, sliding in and tucking right up against Jimin like its second nature.
“You’re warm hyung,” Jimin mumbles, half in the grip of sleep’s claws. He can feel Yoongi’s laughter vibrate against his side.
“Warm? That’s all I am? A hot water bottle or something to you?”
“Something like that,” Jimin murmurs and tugs Yoongi in closer. Yoongi doesn't put up a fight and lets himself get pulled into Jimin’s grasp, slotting in perfectly under Jimin’s arm. Jimin’s fingers dangle at Yoongi’s nape where there’s the soft down of hair. He finds himself stroking at it gently, Yoongi fast asleep already, and it’s almost striking how little the difference is between human Yoongi and cat Yoongi. Not just in their features but in their natures.
Jimin has to remind himself that both Yoongi's are one and the same. Yoongi’s cat form is just Yoongi’s way of bypassing his human restrictions and though it's a little sad that Yoongi had to resort to transforming in the first place, that’s all said and done and from hereon now Jimin is going to make sure that no matter what, Yoongi feels comfortable in both his human and feline skin.
It's his silent promise.
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“So did you ever have any idea why you started turning into a cat?” Taehyung asks Yoongi one day when they’re all in the van on the way to some low scale photoshoot in preparations for the comeback in a few weeks’ time.
No one outright shows their interest but Yoongi can see the way they all glance at him rather unsubtly.
“Not really,” he says with a shrug and like that the interest is lost, a taut string snipped. It’s probably better that way, for them to think this is just some strange twist of fate and magic. Better for them not to scour any deeper.
Cats are prideful, independent creatures, but cats too crave acceptance, friendship, love.
Yoongi look over at Jimin who’s fast asleep, mouth wide open and his head knocking against the window. He reaches over to curl one hand around Jimin’s head and tug it away from the hard glass of the window and towards him and his shoulder.
Jimin barely notices the shift, but once propped against Yoongi’s shoulder his mouth closes and he wriggles in until he’s comfortable.
“That’s nice of you,” Seokjin says to the other side of him, his voice soft as the other members in the van slowly nod off.
Yoongi just shrugs and makes an assenting noise.
“I'm sorry,” Seokjin says to Yoongi’s surprise.
“For what?”
“For being so harsh when you first changed,” Seokjin expands. “I should have noticed you were going through a hard time. I should have tried to help you.”
“I don’t expect you to see and know everything,” Yoongi says softly. “You’re only human Seokjin.”
Seokjin is quiet for a moment. Then, “so are you Yoongi.”
Yoongi stills for a moment as he lets the words roll over in his mind. A bemused smile grows on his face. “So I am,” he says and Jimin shifts against his shoulder, tucking himself in more tightly.
He’s human and therefore it’s okay that he gets tired and lonely and that he can’t articulate it well. Seokjin’s only human as well and so it’s fine that he gets worried and angry and doesn't see all the signs of the members breaking down. Jungkook, Taehyung, Hoseok, Namjoon, they all didn't see it coming and maybe they all didn't handle it perfectly but Yoongi knows they care.
And Jimin. Yoongi curls his hand over the nape of Jimin’s neck where it’s warm. His fingers tickle the base of his hair that has just been trimmed and re-dyed and so is soft and shorn. Jimin may not have seen the signs but he tried to deal with the consequences. For that Yoongi is grateful.
The way they are is not perfect per say, not at least in the fairy tale, story book, sun shining and birds flying sort of end. No one would ever write this as the finale episode of some tear jerking drama or the end of some thrilling novel but that's okay. It may not be perfect in the eyes of another but the way they are is perfect enough for Yoongi. And that, he thinks as he leans against Jimin and closes his eyes, is what matters.
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