Archive of Our Own

The first time Max thought when he was discharged from the hospital was:

“I’ve never been to my own house before.”

Then, it was:

“Well, I don’t know if I can call it mine. Because I’ve never been there, to begin with.”

It hadn’t been that affected by the supernova. A few picture frames had fallen from their places, and Hugh told him they had a small statue of a whale that Kasumi got for them when she went to Hawaii for her honeymoon, but when he went back to the house while they were in the hospital, to check everything was in order, he found out it was broken. It was a cute statue (according to Hugh), and Max would have liked to see it. But for some reason, when he asked Adrian about it, he got super cranky and said that probably Hugh broke it but didn’t want anyone to know, which didn’t make sense to Max. He didn’t understand why someone would lie about that since it wasn’t like that whale was something expensive or valuable.

When he went to sleep that day, he remembered that Kasumi was still at the hospital. And that she hadn’t woken up yet. 

Luckily, she eventually did. His family went to the hospital as soon as they got the news. His dad told Max and Adrian to sit down in the waiting room while he and Simon talked to the doctors and Kasumi’s husband, so they did that.

Adrian was holding Max with one hand and his marker with the other. He opened and closed the marker’s lid, making a clicking sound that irritated Max, but that he was kind of able to ignore after he started reading an architecture magazine he found on the coffee table that was in front of them. 

Ten minutes later, his dad told them they could see her, and Max held his hand the whole way to Kasumi’s room, while Adrian walked behind them with his hands inside his jacket. 

He could still hear the clicking sound. But it stopped when he walked into Kasumi’s room.

She was lying on her bed, with some tubes and medical stuff around her body, and her eyes closed. Adrian asked if he could get closer to her. Simon told him that he could and Kasumi nodded, without saying a word or looking at him.

And Max knew he was allowed to get closer to Kasumi too, but for some reason— he couldn’t.

Not because there was something physically restraining him.

He just… his body didn’t respond. 

So he stood there, under the door frame, and he could have stayed there the whole time if Simon hadn’t said:

“Kasumi, there’s someone here who wants to see you—” he turned to see Max “—Come here. She doesn’t bite.”

Max was about to go back to the waiting room without giving more explanation until his dad put his hands on his shoulders. “Maybe she is going to use her powers and wet your clothes,” he mumbled with a teasing tone, “but look at the bright side; you won’t need to take a shower before going to bed.”

At first, he considered it was an awful joke and that it may not be the time to make them, but Simon chuckled, and Kasumi smiled a little. 

Her eyes remained closed.

So he felt a little bit more confident and walked in. 

Simon had hurt his knee during the arena, so he needed to use a wheelchair. Max thought it took too much space, but never made a single comment about it. Plus, sometimes Simon let him sit down on his lap. He still wasn’t sure if he liked it or not, but when Simon lifted him to do so, Max didn’t complain. He even turned around a little bit and smiled at him. 

Simon smiled back and put his hand on Max’s palm.

Then, Max remembered how Adrian grabbed his hand the whole time when they were on their way home for the first time after the supernova. How his dad did the same a couple of minutes ago when he was taking them to the room. 

And with that in mind, he grabbed Kasumi’s hand.

Max had been told that holding Kasumi Hasegawa’s hand was like holding the ocean. 

But he couldn’t confirm it, because as soon as his skin touched hers, she smiled a little bit and mumbled a name. 

Not Max’s name. 

A name . 

And he immediately let go of her. 

A weird tension invaded the room. It clouded his vision and made his head hurt as if it was a toxic fog coming out of the ventilation system. Simon and Hugh shared a look before his dad walked towards him and took him in his arms. They left the room, and the next thing he knew, was that Hugh had left him in the back seat of the car, closed the door, and then leaned against it.

He didn't give Max any explanation and Max didn't ask for one. 

Simon and Adrian returned when Max was this close to falling asleep. Adrian got in the car before their dads did, because Simon and Hugh stayed outside for a minute, talking about something Max wasn't able to understand. He immediately noticed Max’s tiredness, and let him put his head on his shoulder.

Maybe it was the sound the car made when it started to move around the city. Maybe it was Simon quietly asking Hugh if they could go somewhere to eat so they didn't have to cook that afternoon. Or maybe it was the tension he felt in Kasumi's room that had followed them there and didn't let him close his eyes.

He looked up and noticed Adrian was looking at him. Max made a sign with his hand to ask him to get closer, so that was what Adrian did.

And Max asked him:

“Who is Vandy ?”

Adrian's expression changed. He looked towards his dads, but the only one who seemed aware of what had just happened, was Simon because he was gazing at them from the rear-view mirror. 

Hugh kept his eyes on the road. Like he should. He was the one driving after all. But Max doubted he hadn't heard what he said.

The first one who dared to speak was Simon.

“Please, Max, forgive your aunt Kasumi,” he mumbled. “She was… her—” he closed his eyes and pursed his lips but that was not enough to contain his stuttering “—the… medicines the doctors gave her were a little too strong for her, you know? She wasn't… she wasn't completely aware of what was going on. It wasn't her intention to… not say your name. Can you forgive her, Max?”

Max nodded and Simon smiled at him. This time it was… it was a sad smile. 

He saw the exact moment when he put his hand over Hugh's. He kept it there until they arrived home.

“Shit,” Hugh mumbled. “I forgot. We were supposed to… go somewhere to eat.”

“It's all right,” Simon said. “I bet the kids are tired.”

Adrian sighed. “A little.”

“Well—” Hugh cleaned his hands on his jeans “—you guys stay here. I'm gonna go… I don't know. What do you wanna eat?”

Max had no idea what he wanted to eat, especially because he wasn't that hungry. “Whatever.”

“Whatever,” his dad echoed. “Yeah. Get out then.”

When Adrian got out, he closed the door more violently than he would normally do. Hugh rolled his eyes before realizing Simon was still there.

“Oh, right, you need help to get out,” he said. “Let me—”

“No,” Simon answered. “I'm going with you.”

“Simon, I can go alone. It's not like I'm gonna get lost.”

“But I want to go with you.”

“It's not necessary.”

“It is for me.”

And with that, Simon noticed Max was in the car with them too. He raised his eyebrows a little bit and tried to smile.

This time, he wasn't able to do it.

“Go inside, Max,” he said. “Your dad and I will be back soon.”

His dad didn't look at him. No. He kept his eyes fixated on his own hands grabbing the steering wheel. 

So Max obeyed Simon because he didn't have any other option. 

After a couple of minutes of trying to distract himself by watching the TV, he went to the attic. Adrian was there. He spent a lot of time there since Max moved in with them.

And Max did too.

He found his older brother lying on his back, in the bed, scrolling through his cellphone. As soon as he noticed Max, he sat down on the mattress. “Are you okay?”

He wasn't. 

“You didn't answer my question.”

Adrian sounded genuinely confused when he asked: “What question?”

Max grasped the doorknob the same way his dad did with the steering wheel like he wanted to yank it out of his place and then destroy it using only the strength of his fists. “Who is Vandy , Adrian?” 

It was… five o’clock in the afternoon, but the whole house was dark because none of them bothered to turn on the lights when they came in. Hence, he wasn’t able to see Adrian’s face from where he was standing. 

And that horrible tension.

That horrible tension was following them everywhere and Max was starting to get sick of it.

“ Vandy is— was Evander’s nickname,” Adrian finally answered, with a flat voice. “Kasumi gave it to him when they were little.”

Max kept his sight fixated on his shoes. After a couple of seconds, he heard Adrian lying on his bed again, and with that, he concluded their conversation had ended. Max closed the door on his way out. He guessed that was what Adrian wanted. 

He decided to go to his room again and try to distract himself.

“She wasn't… she wasn't completely aware of what was going on. It wasn't her intention to… not say your name. Can you forgive her, Max?”

Of course. Of course, she wasn’t completely aware of what was going on. And of course, it wasn’t her intention. 

And of course, Max decided to forgive her. But he was not exactly sure why she needed to apologize at all. 

He still remembered how he felt when he woke up from his coma. The lights in the room blinded him and the voices of the doctors around him sounded as if he were listening to them while being underwater. A weird sound came out of his mouth, and the voices became louder. 

He saw a blond figure walking towards him.

The weird sound that was about to come out again, turned into him saying:

“Dad?”

The doctor completely ignored him. But he did tell the nurse to call Mr. Everhart. 

His dad was there with him in what seemed a matter of seconds, looking ten years older than he was. He had deep bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess and he looked like he hadn’t shaved in a while, which made Max wonder how much time had passed since the incident. 

Now he knew that he hadn’t been out for too long. But at that moment, when his dad kissed his forehead, Max ended up convincing himself that he had been in a coma for decades, so he broke down, and started crying, asking his dad to please forgive him. 

He couldn’t remember if his dad had cried too. He probably hadn’t. Max had never seen his dad cry and he hoped he would never get to do it (as selfish as that could sound). But he did remember he told him there was no need to apologize while covering his cheeks, his chin, and his hair with kisses, something that only made his sobs louder and his chest hurt even more.

And still, he didn’t want that moment to end. And he felt so relieved when his dad promised him he was going to be there the whole night because Max was scared of falling asleep and not being able to wake up. 

So he kind of saw where Kasumi was coming from. Just kind of. Because yes, the first figure he saw wasn’t his dad, but he eventually arrived. 

When Kasumi said Evander’s name, he didn’t arrive. He didn’t even hear her.

He was dead. And dead people cannot hear. 

Because they are dead. 

In his new room, the bedspread was orange, the same as the circular carpet he was sitting on at that instant. The curtains were the same ones as the ones in his parents’ room, beige and made of delicate and light fabric. There was a practically empty toy box beside a small desk and a white chest of drawers. 

It wasn’t that it didn’t look like his room. It was that Max couldn’t believe it was his room.

Then, he walked towards the window and looked at his reflection. 

Or what his eyes told him his reflection was, even if he wasn’t completely sure about that.

He had bags under his eyes. His hair was getting too long and soon he would need a haircut. His clothes were loose, maybe because he had been eating terribly for weeks and he was starting to lose weight. He looked down and noticed his legs were covered in scars and bruises, which was something not too uncommon since Max always had had very delicate skin, and sometimes he would wake up with marks on his body he wasn’t sure where they came from. Then, he closed his fists and rubbed his fingers on the palm of his hands, and proceeded to take out his socks and touch the cold floor with his feet. 

And he was able to feel all those sensations and see every single detail on his body. 

But they belonged to someone else. 

To whom? Max didn’t know.

But it wasn’t him.

Maybe Max had never woken up from that coma. Maybe Max was dead.

Someone knocked. “Max—”

“Come in.”

Simon opened the door. He wasn’t using his wheelchair anymore, instead, he was using the walker Hugh had gotten him. Max thought that maybe he shouldn’t be going around using stairs because it could worsen the state of his knee, but he wasn’t a doctor. 

“Hey, we brought you fried fish,” Simon told him. 

Max wasn't a fan of seafood since most of it made his stomach ache. He did like fried food though, so he wasn't going to say no to that.

“Simon,” he said instead. “Do you think I'm dead?”

Simon raised his eyebrows, opened his mouth, and when he couldn't find the right words to say, he looked away for a second. Max continued gazing at his reflection and noticed it was starting to fade as the sun started to go down. 

He felt Simon pulling him closer to him. “No, Max—” Simon answered, “—I don't think that you are dead.”

“Why?”

“Well, if you were dead… I wouldn't be able to see you right now.”

“Maybe I'm a ghost.”

He heard a soft chuckle. “Don’t worry. I would be able to tell if you were a ghost.”

After that conversation, Max started to notice a weird habit Simon had. And that habit was that apparently, he thought he knew everyone better than they knew themselves, something that drove Max crazy. 

For example: while Max was eating his portion of fried fish, Simon brought up something about Halloween. Max decided he was going to ignore him and the rest of his family, not because he had something against them or because he was mad at them, he just didn't feel like talking at that moment. His brain didn't process what Adrian answered Simon about the topic, but eventually, Hugh shut it down and told them that maybe that year, no one would feel like celebrating Halloween.

“I don't know, Hugh,” Simon answered. “Knowing how people are, I'm guessing most of them are preparing their costumes. I actually saw a house with scary decorations —” he turned to see Adrian “—They even had a fake body hanging from their tree.”

“Oh, that house—” Hugh leaned towards Max “—it was a real body.”

Max looked at Simon and noticed how his face turned pale. 

Hugh didn’t laugh but said, “I was joking.”

“Jesus, Hugh, don't joke about dead people while we're having a nice family moment,” Simon exclaimed, scandalized. “You're scaring the children.”

But Max did laugh and said: “Good one, dad.” 

“Yeah, I can see he's absolutely terrified.” 

The Halloween conversation ended there, and Max didn’t give it that much thought. Until last week.

He didn’t know if it was because his dad had told him to do it. It probably was. But every time Adrian went out, he took Max with him. Sometimes even when he went out with Nova. Max didn't know if it was something Hugh or Simon made him do, and he wasn't going to ask. He was kind of scared of the answer being yes. 

Going out with his brother was weird. Although not because they did weird stuff when they went out. The only time something weird happened, was when they went to a store in a small mall near Headquarters. Adrian had told Simon he wanted to buy a new black sweater because the one he had didn't fit him anymore (and, according to Adrian, a black sweater was a basic clothing item, and having basic clothing items that fit you accordingly was important). Simon told them to take the bus, and that Hugh could take them back home during his lunch break. 

When they entered the store, Adrian asked Max not to get out of his sight. He walked next to his brother while he went around looking at the clothes Max had no interest in. He was starting to wonder if Adrian was actually looking for his sweater or he just wanted to look at pretty clothes when he saw a bunch of dinosaur plushies on one of the shelves near the cash register.

Max knew he wasn't allowed to have plushies. They gave him allergies. But there was nothing wrong with giving them a closer look.

He pulled Adrian by the shirt and when he got his attention, he pointed at the shelves.

“All right,” Adrian whispered. “But I'm keeping an eye on you from here.”

Adrian continued with what he was doing and Max stared at the plushies. None of them was orange or green T-Rex but there were also blue triceratops, purple velociraptors, and even a rainbow pterodactyl (which Max thought looked very… tacky, like his dad would call it).

Suddenly, he felt like someone was watching him.  But when he looked at where Adrian was, he noticed his attention was on the bunch of graphic t-shirts that were at the “ For Sale ” table. So he turned around again, and finally realized, the one that was observing his every move, was the cashier.

Max kind of knew that the nice thing to do was to smile at her. But she did it first. And something about her smile made Max not want to smile back at her. 

She threw a glance at Adrian and then, after making sure he was still distracted, she made a gesture with her finger to ask Max to get closer to her.

As soon as Max obeyed, the lady asked him: “Do you need help?” 

Max frowned. “Huh?”

“Do you need help?” the lady insisted.

He didn't answer.

And there it was again: the feeling of being watched. 

Just that this time, he was aware that the one doing it was Adrian. 

He didn’t know why; but instead of answering the cashier's questions, Max listened to his sudden urge of running towards his brother and hugged him from the waist. Adrian's bracelet lit up for an instant, telling him he just received a message, and he lifted his arm to read it better while adjusting his glasses. Then, he put a hand on Max’s back and told him softly that their dad was waiting for them outside.

They left the store without buying anything. They didn’t even say goodbye to the cashier.

Hugh was, indeed, waiting for them in the car, at the other side of the street. He asked them if they bought anything, but Adrian just said they hadn't and kept silent. 

At night, Max went downstairs to look for his dad, who had promised to read him a story before going to sleep. He passed next to the dining room, and he heard Adrian and Simon talking.

Adrian's voice sounded muffled.

“I didn't even find a sweater I liked.” 

“Don't worry. I'm gonna help you find one.”

Max entered the kitchen. Simon was hugging Adrian, who had taken off his glasses and was hiding his face on his dad's shoulder. 

“Yes, Max?” Simon asked him.

“Where's my dad?” he asked.

“Um—” he looked around “—I don't know. Maybe he's in the bedroom.”

Oh. Yeah, he hadn't looked for him there.

“Okay.”

“Why are you looking for him?”

“He promised to read me a bedtime story,” he explained. 

“Oh, I see—” Adrian took his glasses and put them on again “—Do you want me to read it to you instead?” Simon asked.

Max thought about it for a while. “No, don't worry. My— my dad's gonna do it.”

“Right. As you wish, darling.”

Adrian looked down and Max noticed he had a plate right in front of him, with a half-finished and cold quesadilla . 

He walked towards Adrian and after staring at him for a few seconds, Max hugged him by the waist. Again.

“You're my big brother, Adrian,” he said, rubbing his nose on his clothes. “I love you.”

Adrian rubbed his hair and hugged him back. “And, breaking news, you're my little brother, Max. And I love you too.”

Before leaving the kitchen, Simon touched his shoulder and hugged Max too. 

It was a quick hug.

“Now, go to sleep—” Simon ordered while pinching his nose.

Max chuckled. “Your hands smell like cheese.”

“Ugh, I know. It's gross.”

He didn't say no to Simon because… Like— Hugh did promise to read him a bedtime story. And Max wanted him to do it. But also… something told him that Adrian needed Simon to be with him at that moment. He knew he had a bad day. And he knew that Simon, in some way or another, was going to understand it in a way Max was never going to be able to do.

Simon was going to understand him . 

So he left them alone one more time and decided that the next day, he was going to tell Adrian he loved him one more time. Then, he was going to give him two— no, three friendly punches in the arm. Just so he could get his point across. 

Max found Hugh in his bedroom, lying on the bed without doing anything else. He put the book he wanted him to read that night next to him, and without saying a word, his dad understood what he was trying to tell him. 

“Ah, your bedtime story. Right. Get in here—” and he patted the place next to him in bed. 

Max ended up sleeping there, with his head resting on his dad's chest. The only time he woke up during the night was when Simon entered the room and said something Max didn't hear completely, but it made his dad laugh. 

He turned off the lights and right before Max fell asleep again, Simon kissed his cheek twice. 

Adrian eventually got the sweater that he wanted. But not from that store, because they took the collective and conscious decision to boycott it for the rest of their lives. Simon found another store that had prettier and best quality clothes, at an even lower price. 

The day Halloween came to his mind again, Adrian was wearing his new sweater, on top of a white button-up shirt. He eventually took it off and tied it around his waist. They went to a bigger mall a little bit far away from their house where Nova was supposed to meet them but half an hour after they arrived, she texted Adrian she couldn't go out that day. 

His brother didn't seem offended by that. He didn't tell Max why Nova had cancelled, but he bet it was something private so he didn't ask. Instead, he asked him what were they going to do now, and Adrian immediately asked him if he wanted to get some ice cream. 

If the day had been a little bit colder, Max would have said no; ice cream during cold days could make you sick. But that October day was a lot hotter than he expected. And if global warming was going to end them all, well, at least he could have ice cream while waiting for their inevitable doom. 

“Well, that’s a little bit dark, my friend,” his brother answered him. “I just asked you if you wanted to get ice cream. No need to be edgy about it.”

Adrian took him to an ice cream shop that was at the food corner. Max had never been there, but the ice cream flavors sounded familiar, so he wasn't that nervous when he chose which one he wanted. 

They decided to eat it while going around the mall so they could exercise a little. 

The mall wasn’t as crowded as he imagined it was going to be, but not as empty as he would’ve liked. Most of the stores in that mall were boutiques. In addition to the food corner, it also had a departmental store, and his dad told him there were plans on expanding the building so they could build a cinema. He didn’t see any construction workers going around, but he saw a lot of Halloween decorations.

And when he said a lot… he meant a lot . 

Every single shop had something related to Halloween in them. Spiderwebs on their corners, with spiders made out of foam and with goofy eyes. Plastic pumpkins with scary faces drawn over them. Small skulls hang from the ceiling of the stores. Some of them were even selling small versions of the Council’s superhero suits, and right next to them, Max saw a couple of mannequins that didn’t have any clothes.

“This store used to sell Anarchist merch,” Adrian said. Then he chuckled. “I remember one year I tried to convince Pops to buy me a Cyanide costume for Halloween, but aunt Tamaya said no, and… you know, she was pretty persuasive.”

Max stared at the naked mannequins again. “I don’t see any Anarchist merch.”

“Well, they probably threw all of it away.”

It was all right. He wasn’t interested in it anyways. 

But then, he said: “Adrian. I would like to go trick or treating this year.”

He saw Adrian’s reflection on the store’s apparel. For a few moments, the only thing the reflection did was to stare back at him, until Adrian smiled and mumbled:

“Huh— we can help you with that.”

They continued to walk around the mall, talking about which stores they could find a costume that Max liked. Adrian said that it wouldn’t be too difficult to find one because at that point of the season, every single place out there had a Halloween costume section, so Max just needed to think about what he wanted and they would eventually find it. The… funny part (if he could call it like that) was that as soon as Adrian asked him what costume he wanted, Max’s mind went completely blank, and he didn’t know which one  to choose.

Eventually, he chose one. It was a random choice, but a choice after all. 

When they arrived home, their parents were working from their office. 

“We’re home,” Adrian notified, knocking on their open door. 

Hugh and Simon looked up from their computers practically at the same time. They immediately noticed the small bag Max was holding and asked him what he got there. Adrian opened his mouth to explain them, but Max suddenly felt a strange rush going around his body and told him to stop, before grabbing him by the arm and taking him to the other room with him. He closed the door behind him and before Adrian could ask him what he had in mind, Max got closer to him and whispered in his ear what he was planning to do. Adrian didn’t hesitate about helping him.

In less than three minutes, Max was wearing his Halloween costume and walking in his dad’s office, with Adrian following from behind and making trumpet noises. His parents clapped, and Max started waving at them, while mumbling “Thank you, thank you very much”, with a funny accent, until Simon said:

“Look at you. You’re an adorable peach.”

And suddenly, Max didn’t find his costume as cool anymore. 

He was completely still for five whole seconds until he was able to finally look Simon in the eye. His expression, on the other hand, hadn’t changed a bit. 

Because he didn’t know.

“I’m a pumpkin,” Max said.

Now— that changed his expression.

Immediately Simon started apologizing and assuring him he was an adorable pumpkin, making a lot of emphasis on that last word. Adrian put a hand over his mouth, trying so hard not to make a single sound. Hugh, on the contrary, didn’t try to pretend he didn’t find the whole situation funny as hell, and the louder Max squeezed: “I’M A PUMPKIN, SIMON, I AM A PUMPKIN!”, the harder his dad laughed and the closer he was to dying of asphyxia. 

When Hugh finally was able to act like a normal human being again, he told him to stop being mad at Simon and added that Max looked like a really nice squash. Max got even angrier with that comment because “When have you ever seen an orange squash, Hugh?! I AM A PUMPKIN! A PUMPKIN”. Simon grabbed him by the wrists to stop him from punching his dad on the leg (something that would have been, not only disrespectful, but kind of stupid, considering Max could have broken his hand for just attempting to do that), and asked him if he wanted to go downstairs and have some dinosaur nuggets. But Max wasn’t going to sell himself for some nuggets.

At least not until his dad accepted him for what he truly was.

A pumpkin .

“Hugh, tell Max that he looks like a nice pumpkin,” Simon ordered.

Hugh's smile became a little bit wider. “You look like a nice pumpkin, Max,” he said, putting his big hand on Max’s head. “Now, be a nice kid, and go eat your nuggets.”

While Max was eating his dinosaur-shaped nuggets, sitting on the kitchen bar, and looking at Simon’s back while he did the dishes, he thought that… maybe his costume did make him look like a lot of vegetables, but not a pumpkin. And, with that in mind, his reaction was indeed pretty funny. Maybe if the same thing had happened to one of Tamaya’s kids, for example, he would have laughed too. So he didn’t blame his parents for the reaction they had. 

But it made him realize something.

That year was going to be his first Halloween. 

His first real Halloween. 

Max was living a real-life now. And he needed to take it more seriously. 

“Pops. Can I be honest with you?”

Simon looked over his shoulder for a second and then went back to doing the dishes. “You know what I always say, darling: honesty is the best policy,” he answered. “So— yeah. You can be honest with me.”

He had never heard him say that, but he guessed that maybe he said that a lot, and Max just hadn’t noticed. “I don’t know if I want to be a pumpkin for Halloween anymore.”

“Really?” Simon gave the bowl he was holding a quick rinse and left it on top of the other bowls that were on the wringer before turning around and leaning against the sink. “Do you have any other ideas?”

Max shrugged. “I don’t. But… you know.”

Simon smiled at him. “Don’t worry, darling. You still have time.”

At that moment, Hugh walked into the kitchen, holding an empty cup. He put it inside the sink, completely unaware of the way Simon was looking at him, the same way he would have looked at him if Hugh were doing something really offensive and reprehensible.

“Yeah, go on,” he mumbled. “Put your dirty dishes in the sink. I’m not mad.”

Hugh looked at him, then he looked at the cup and grabbed it again. “I’ll wait then.”

Simon scoffed and continued with his chore.

“You shouldn’t be doing dishes,” Hugh blurted out. “Your knee—”

“It’s okay. I’m almost done.”

Before Hugh could argue against that, Max called him. “Dad, are you two going to dress up for Halloween this year?”

His dad raised his eyebrows. He probably hadn’t given it too much thought. “Well— I guess… I guess we could?” He glanced at his husband for a second. “Would you like to dress up this year?”

“If we go out somewhere,” Simon answered. “Max was telling me he would like to dress up this Halloween—” he suddenly interrupted himself and asked: “Do you want to go trick or treating too?” Max tried his best not to roll his eyes; if he wanted to dress up, then it was kind of obvious he also wanted to go trick or treating. But instead, he just nodded. “I see— well, then I guess then we would have to dress up too.”

“We don’t have to dress up if you don’t want to,” Hugh said, resting his chin on Simon’s shoulder. Suddenly, Max felt he was witnessing an intimate moment and fixed his gaze on his nuggets. “We can go as... dads.”

“Dress up as dads?”

Hugh snorted. “Yeah, Warden. We dress up as our dads.”

“You have to admit that would be pretty scary.”

“Yeah— imagine my dad coming back from the dead.”

“Imagine my dad coming back from the grocery store—” Simon shook his head “—Congratulations, Captain, now I’m gonna have nightmares.”

Hugh grabbed Simon by the waist and made him turn around. “Son, have I ever told you I come from a long line of guys who were named Hugh?” he asked Max. Max said that he didn’t. “Well, now you know.”

“So— why am I not named Hugh?”

His dad frowned. “Because I’d rather not have any kids than naming one of them after me,” he responded, pretty sure of himself. “Plus, Maximilian is a king’s— no, an emperor’s name. Have you ever heard about Maximilian I of Mexico?”

“I think I haven’t?”

“That’s terrible,” he exclaimed. “Lucky for you, I’ve heard a lot about him. One day I’m gonna give you a history lesson about a guy from a country neither of us has ever been to. You’re welcome.”

Max chuckled slightly. 

“Don’t worry about your costume, darling,” Simon said, going back to the topic that actually concerned Max. “You have— four days to think about it. And if you want an expert's opinion, you have us. We’re experts on Halloween costumes.”

Well, he wouldn’t call them experts , to be honest (and honesty was the best policy). His dads did the same thing for Halloween every single year, and that was dressing up like each other. They even had specific aliases for that and everything. Hugh called himself “Chromium Warden” and Simon went by “The Dread Captain”. Adrian had told him he thought it was a little bit… cringey , to put it one way, and, at first, Max thought his brother was crazy because for him it was really romantic and cute. 

But now he had to kind of agree with Adrian.

Maybe it was a little bit cringey. Or maybe Max just was being— how did Adrian say? Edgy . 

Whatever.

The next day, Hugh took him to the park during the afternoon. According to him, it was so he could tell him all about Maximilian I of Mexico without Max running away (“I read a lot about him, right before we adopted you— his life is just so fascinating”), although he wasn't planning to do that. He didn’t know why, but Hugh had a really specific way of explaining things, and he talked so in-depth about the topics he was passionate about, Max could hear him talk about his interests all day. 

And— he was just glad to see him being excited about something. Most of the time he had this feeling that his dad wasn’t… happy. 

But he didn’t like to think too much about it. 

They sat down on a bench, right in front of the playground. Max had bought a bag of fish-shaped cheddar cookies with him and was sharing them with his dad while they watched people living their lives. 

Max was kind of used to that. 

When his dad finished telling him the whole biography of that Maximilian guy, both of them kept silent for a whole minute. Now, the only thing that Max could hear was the sound of the kids calling each other’s names while they played on the playground and the birds that flew over their heads to take shelter on the treetops. There were some couples there too, holding hands and going around the place, giggling and chatting as if they were the only people in the world. The October wind made his ears and his nose felt cold, and Max remembered Simon told him to bring a scarf with him but in the end, he had decided to ignore him. Big mistake.

“Do you wanna go play with the other kids?” his dad asked him.

Max leaned against him. “No. I’m fine.”

His dad put his arm around him and pulled him closer. “I used to bring your brother here too,” he told him. “And I remember this one time— I saw a guy walking around the playground, looking at the kids. I heard a group of moms talking about how they were going to ask him to leave, but… you know, I didn’t get that vibe from him. He looked… worried. So I… walked towards him, and asked him… ‘What is your kid wearing?’ ” 

“What? Why?”

“Because when a kid gets missing, that’s the thing you have to ask first,” Hugh explained to him. “Then, when he answered me, I immediately started to yell the description the guy gave me so other parents could hear me, and every single mom or dad out there started to… look around, repeating the kid’s description to others until some lady found him five minutes later.”

Max glanced at a little girl, much younger than him, that got off the swings and ran towards her mom to hug her. “How did you know that guy’s kid was missing?” he asked.

Hugh shrugged. “I think… I just— Adrian went missing a couple of times… I guess that I knew that silently panicking wasn’t going to help anyone in the situation.” Then, he added: “Or I probably heard that strategy on TV, I have no idea.”

He laughed at the casual tone his dad used to say that and then, his dad laughed too. “That was nice of you to do,” Max mumbled. “It was… heroic.”

“Oh, no, it really wasn’t,” Hugh answered. “But… now you know what to do in case that happens to you someday. When— if you decide to have kids or something… something like that, yeah.”

Max didn’t know how to tell him he didn’t think that day would come. Not because he wasn’t planning on having kids, he honestly had never thought about that before.

And Max didn’t think he was ever going to do something genuinely kind. Something that would help others, without harming absolutely no one. Something that would just… be good, and nothing more.  

Max just wanted to be good. Not complicated. Not difficult. Just good.

But even without his powers, Max knew he wasn’t built like that. 

How was Max built?

That was the real question.

When they finished all the cookies, his dad and he walked home. Hugh grabbed him by the hand (because he didn’t want him to run towards the traffic) and immediately told him his hands were so cold they were going to fall off. As soon as they walked into the house, Hugh said he was going to look for a pair of gloves for him but Max reminded him all his gloves had been lost when his quarantine area was destroyed a few months ago. Hugh was silent for a minute, then looked at Simon’s office, and said: 

“Well, I’m gonna go buy you a pair.”

Adrian was listening to their conversation from the living room. He was watching the news, even though Simon had recommended him not to do it because he was only going to get anxious by them. Max saw his dad leave the house with his car before sitting next to his brother and watching TV with him.

With his hands in his jacket’s pockets, of course. He didn’t want his hands to fall off. 

“Adrian, I need you to help me,” Max blurted out. Adrian didn’t move but he did look at him. “I already know what costume I want to use this Halloween.”

His brother smiled a little bit. “So— the pumpkin costume is no longer an option?”

“I wish it had never been an option.”

Max asked Adrian if he could go get his sketchbook, but Adrian said he was too lazy to do that, so Max had to go upstairs to look for the notebook Simon got him the other day (it was gray with the red Renegades “R” on the cover) and his own markers. Then, he sat on the floor, put his notebook on the coffee table, and started doodling the idea he had in his head, with Adrian looking over his shoulder and nodding every time Max asked him if he was following him. 

He ended up with his hands covered in colorful stains from the markers he used. But at least he had made his idea clear.

Max passed the notebook to Adrian. “This is my idea,” he said.

Adrian adjusted his glasses, and for a second, Max remembered Hugh doing the same thing every time he needed to read something (the only thing Adrian didn’t do was complain about how small Max’s handwriting was). “I think it’s doable,” he answered. “And cool. I also think it’s pretty cool, Max. I love this concept.”

Max felt his face go a little bit red. “I thought you were gonna make fun of me. I’m not that good at drawing.”

“Well— you can always keep trying,” Adrian told him. He continued gazing at the drawing for a couple of seconds before adding: “You know what? I want you to make my Halloween costume.”

“Me?” he asked, pointing at himself.

“Yeah, you—” Adrian gave him the notebook again “—I think you’re gonna understand my vision pretty well. And you’re gonna make it look even cooler.”

Max turned the page and opened his red marker. It was one of those scented markers, and that one, in particular, smelled like strawberry. “Okay… The Sentinel was pretty cool though.”

“Excuse me?”

“You know—” he drew little circles on the borders of the page “—you design it. And it was really good.”

While he started sketching what he thought Adrian may like, he realized that he hadn’t answered the compliment Max made about the Sentinel’s design. But he didn’t take it personally because he thought maybe Adrian was just being modest since he knew his brother considered himself to be a pretty modest individual (although considering yourself modest isn’t the most modest thing one could do). It was only when Adrian intervened to tell him “No, I want it to be white” when he was about to color the whole thing gray, that he realized that maybe his brother just didn't want to talk about the Sentinel. 

So he made a mental note of never bringing that topic to the table ever again. 

After Adrian made a few more comments, Max considered the design to be done.

“What do you think about this?” he asked him.

“Yeah, that’s what I was talking about,” Adrian answered, nodding and smiling. 

“Don’t use latex,” Max added, pointing at the legs of the small man he had drawn. “I was thinking—”

“No, I’m gonna use cotton,” his brother assured him. “I don’t need my wounds to get infected or something.”

“Why would your wounds get infected?”

Simon was leaning against the sofa. He had come out of his office and was using his walker.

“Max is designing our Halloween costumes,” Adrian explained to him. He asked Max to give him the notebook with a discreet wave of his hand, but Max kind of pulled it closer to his chest. “Come on, dude. Pops is going to like them.”

Max tried to come up with an argument as to why he didn’t want to show the drawing to Simon, even though he drew so he could show it to people, but nothing popped into his head. 

And, well, Simon had told him he was a costume expert. Maybe he could help him with some things.

Max jumped on the couch and opened the notebook again. “Look, this is Adrian’s,” he told him, and he put his finger on top of the page. “He’s, like… his superhero persona . Sketch. But ‘Age of Anarchy’ Sketch, you know?”

Simon grabbed the notebook to take a better look. “Yeah, I can tell it's Sketch—” he smiled “—You put the S on his chest and everything.”

“And the best part is that I got all the things I need to make my costume,” Adrian said. “I’m helping this household’s economy, you’re welcome.”

Max was too distracted laughing at Adrian’s joke, he didn't notice Simon was turning the page to continue looking at more drawings and he wasn't able to tell him not to do it.

So he ended up looking at Max's costume before he was actually ready to show it.

He frowned for an instant, and then his face relaxed. “ Oh.”

Yes. Oh.

“What?” he asked as if he didn't know what Simon was thinking.

“Nothing, darling,” Simon said. He didn't stop looking at the drawing. “Your drawing style is really pretty.”

Max knew he was only telling him that so he didn't have to confront him about what he really thought of what he was doing. He kind of expected that reaction from him, and if his dad had been there too, he probably would have reacted the same way. 

His dads didn't like to confront him that much. Max wouldn't mind some actual confrontation though.

But, that day, he decided to respect Simon's decision and kept things in peace. 

“Do you have a hat you can borrow me?” he asked him. “For my costume.”

Simon sighed and sat down on the couch's backseat. “No, I'm a fan of… hats. I'm not that kind of gay.”

“Don't you mean guy?”

“No, I mean gay—” he scratched his beard “—I can take you somewhere to buy one though. If you're sure you want to do this.”

Max tilted his head. “Why wouldn't I?” he asked. 

Simon didn't respond to that. He sighed again, and asked: “Have you seen your father? I need to ask him something.”

“He went out to buy gloves for Max,” Adrian answered. 

“He said my hands were too cold, and that they were gonna fall off,” Max added, taking the notebook and leaving it on the table next to the couch.

“Really?” Simon grabbed one of Max's hands and his eyebrows raised. “God, he was right. And you've been inside the house for quite some time now. I hope you don't get sick.”

Simon took Max during the weekend to a store he knew to buy him the hat he wanted. The night before he talked to Hugh about his plans, and he told him he shouldn't be going out because he needed to rest. Max thought that the plan had been canceled and maybe his dad would get him the hat himself (he hadn't seen the drawing though so he didn't know how was Hugh going to know what kind of hat he wanted), but the next morning, he was woken up by Simon shaming him gently and signing on his ear a super cheesy song about the sunlight and birds. 

“I don't know if I'm going to be able to help you with your chair,” Max told him. He was putting on the blue gloves Hugh bought for him. 

“I'll take my walker,” Simon assured him. “No need to worry.”

It wasn't one of the fancy stores Adrian took him; this one was even farther away from the house and was pretty well hidden from plain sight. It was a small local between two big apartment units that, judging by the plaque, had been rebuilt by the Renegades and given to homeless families last year.  

According to Simon, he had been there with Kasumi a couple of times and they always managed to find the most specific and weird items they needed for whatever DIY project they wanted to do. The store had been there for as long as Simon could remember. Max wanted to ask if the DIY project had been those apartment complexes but he wasn't sure how he would take that joke and he already seemed to be having kind of a tough time trying to move around the store using the walker. He didn't know if it was because the whole place was a lot more narrow than expected or because he was embarrassed about being in public and using the walker that made him look like an old man (his words, not Max's). 

At the end of the store, they found a whole table full of hats that were on sale. 

“Look, pops,” Max exclaimed. “A frog hat.”

Max grabbed a green bucket hat with a frog's face drawn over it and put it on his head. It even had eyes and everything. 

“Oh, I remember those from when I was a kid,” Simon said. “But take it off. You don't wanna get lice.”

He did that as soon as that sentence came out of Simon's mouth, the image of his head becoming the home for a lice mom and her babies started to seem pretty plausible. He took off the hat as soon as he could.

“This one…” Simon mumbled. He made an extra effort and stretched himself to get the hat on the other side of the table. “This one is exactly like the one from your drawing.”

And it was. The hat was a dark brown color. It was obvious it was going to look a little too big on Max's head but that was kind of the whole point. It even looked old (and it probably was), as if it had been used a lot for many years. 

He had to resist the urge to wear it. The mom cockroach and her lice friends were enough for him. 

“I love it,” Max exclaimed, taking it off Simon's hands. “It's just as I pictured it.”

Simon's lips curved and he stared at Max while he stared at his hat. 

“Darling, can I ask you something?” Simon said.

He looked up. The lights inside the store were too bright and right behind Simon's head, there was a bulb that blinded him for an instant. “You're already doing it,” Max answered, rubbing his eyes.

“No, but— Max.”

“Yes, you can,” Max said. He wasn't smiling; that was just the weird face he made when he was trying to adjust his sight to the bright ball of light the world was, but Simon probably thought he was smiling, because he forced a chuckled before asking:

“Do you wanna talk about… why you chose the costume you chose?”

Max turned around and pretended to get distracted by the hats. 

I don't know.

Do you think Adrian wants to talk about the Sentinel?

“No. I don't want to talk about it,” he answered. And he added: “But it's nothing personal against you.”

“Oh, no, I didn't— I know it is not that, cherub,” Simon responded, shaking his head. “I'm just… a little bit worried, that's all.”

“You don't need to be, really—” he grabbed the frog bucket hat once more “—I'm being honest with you. And honesty is the best policy.”

He knew he was going to get away with it by saying that. And it worked. Simon liked hearing Max quoting his words, so he did not even change the topic, but also agreed to buy him the frog bucket hat when he asked for it. They stayed for a while more at the store, looking at the other products they sold, and Simon got out of there with a new mug for his collection that had a group of ladies with elegant dresses drawn all over it. 

When they arrived at their house, Hugh immediately intercepted Simon and took him to the office. He probably wanted to ask him where they had been, because, for some reason, Max had this feeling that Simon kind of left the house without saying anything, and he wasn’t a parent or anything similar to that, but if his husband and kid disappear in the middle of the day he would be kind of worried about it. Max wasn’t super interested in knowing about what they were talking about, so instead of secretly following them to listen to their conversation, he went upstairs with his new two hats.

He kept the frog one so he could show it to Adrian when he arrived home.

But he hid the other one under his bed. 

It remained there until Halloween night.

Max was inside his parents’ room, already prepared to go out. He was sitting on their bed, fidgeting with a small ball that he found under the living room’s sofa. He could hear his parents talking to each other in front of the mirror and they were also already in their costumes. Max looked up exactly to see Hugh finished putting on his cape and said he was ready, just for Simon to make him turn around while fixing said cape and mumbling:

“No, love, you’re not. The cape looks— ah, there it is. Much better.”

Hugh smiled at him and patted his shoulders. Then, he frowned a little bit. “Don’t you feel a little uncomfortable wearing the shoulder pats?”

“Not really,” Simon answered. “Also, it’s part of the costume. The Dread Captain is nothing without his shoulder pads.”

Someone—Adrian knocked on the door three times.

He had listened to Max’s suggestion and was wearing white cotton pants and a white cotton hoodie. On his chest, he drew a red “S”; Max and Nova were there when he was preparing his costume for that night, so he knew he had used a little bit of that special painting you could use to paint clothes. He had also decided to use his uniform boots but changed the normal shoelaces the boots had for red ones. Simon lent him his Dread Warden gloves and when Adrian tried them on earlier that day, they fitted them perfectly. He added it felt “wrong” to wear an important piece of his dad’s uniform, but Simon just laughed and told him to get over it, that it was okay. 

“I designed that,” Max pointed out, and Simon clapped while Adrian entered the room.

His weird mood seemed to dissipate for those instants and he started to wave at an imaginary audience, the same way Max did it when he bought the pumpkin/peach/squash costume. 

“You’re really nice, people, but I cannot take the credit for this,” he said with modesty. “Or can I?”

“ No .”

He chuckled. “Okay, then.”

Hugh just stayed where he was—leaning against the chest of drawers—gazing at Adrian. When Adrian finally noticed what his dad was doing, he prolonged the eye contact for as long as Hugh could take it, and after he decided he had enough, he just nodded and gave him a thumbs up. Max didn’t know what Adrian was expecting, but he didn’t seem disappointed; he just gave him a thumbs-up back at him and that was it.

Simon sat down next to Max. “Guys, gather up,” he announced. “I’m the Captain now, so you’re going to have to listen to me.”

Max got a little bit closer to him, while Adrian sat down next to Simon and Hugh used a chair they had there, not before taking off the huge pile of clothes they left there for no apparent reason.

When he was sure everyone was listening to him, he said: “As you know, this is Max’s first Halloween Night. And we want to make sure it is as secure and enjoyable as possible. Do you remember the list of rules I talked about with you this morning, cherub?”

Max did remember them. “Yes, Captain.”

“I don’t like the sound of that,” Hugh said jokingly.

“No, keep it up, ‘cause I do,” Simon answered. After chuckling, he added: “Can you tell them to the rest of the team?”

Max took a breath. “So… go to the bathroom before leaving the house. Done—”

“That’s the only rule he gets?” Adrian asked.

“Yes,” Max said. “No. I was saying I already did that. Done .”

Adrian raised his eyebrows and then nodded while making a small sign with his hand to indicate to Max he could continue. 

“Yeah, and then there is… don’t let go of the hand that is holding mine— not done yet, because we aren’t out right now.” Max tried to remember the rest of them; he didn’t think they were that many but for some reason, he had already forgotten about some of them. “Only… eat candy when we arrive at the house. And only grab one piece of candy, so every kid out there can get at least one. Oh, and only ring the doorbell once, and if no one opens up, we leave.”

Simon nodded in approval. 

“Don’t forget to use the rule I told you about,” Hugh pointed out.

“Oh, yeah—” before anyone could ask him what said rule was, he added: “—Make use of your common sense, guys.”

“Never heard of that one before,” Simon said.

“It’s actually kind of simple,” Max responded. “Do not enter anyone's house, stay on the porch, and don’t engage with any stranger. Common sense.”

Hugh smiled at him, and Max knew he was proud of him for remembering it.

Simon rubbed his chin thoughtfully. “I see.”

“Way too simple— it’s kind of a dumb rule, Hugh,” Adrian added.

Hugh put a hand on his chest and bowed his head. “Thank you for the support, son.”

“No, it’s a good rule,” Simon quickly said. “I like it.”

His dad repeated the gesture, but this time, he did it while looking at Simon. “Now, thank you for the support, love.”

Max rubbed his hands on his pants. “Can we go now?”

“Sure, darling—” Hugh took Simon by the hand to help him get up “—Are you really gonna carry me downstairs? It makes me feel kind of dumb.”

“Of course I will,” Hugh answered, shooting him a startled look. “It’s the least I could do for my Captain.”

“You officially ruined the word Captain for me,” Simon told him. But he let him carry him downstairs anyways. 

Max started to put on his shoes, and before leaving the room, Adrian turned around to remind him: 

“Don’t forget your bag, by the way.”

Good timing. Max had already forgotten about it. 

He took the fabric bag hanging from the bedhead. Then, he realized someone was gazing at him from the mirror reflection. When he looked back, he realized it was only his reflection.

The pants he was wearing were brown and he had personally taken the kitchen scissors to rip apart parts of them to make them look older and rattier. The sweater didn’t have the same fate but only because his dad caught him doing the whole pants thing, and immediately stopped him with the excuse that he couldn’t be going around life doing that to every single piece of fabric he owned (although Max had never done anything similar, except last year when he turned apart one of his bedsheets to make his ghost costume). Adrian found a couple of cowboy boots he kept from when he was Max’s age and, yes, they were a little too big for him but they were comfortable and Max thought they were going to look amazing. He took a black kerchief and put it around his neck, before finally putting the hat he had hidden under his bed a few days ago.

And the mask.

Max was also wearing a mask.

The Bandit was also wearing a mask.

Was Max dead?

He didn’t know. He didn’t even know if The Bandit was dead. Yes, he was right there, staring back at him in the mirror, without showing any emotion at all. And he had the same bags under his eyes, the same new haircut, and the same clothes that fitted him a little bit better now. 

Max rubbed his palms with his fingers. And then, he rubbed his feet against the floor. He touched his palate using his tongue. He even tried pinching his arm, but even the pain didn’t feel like it belonged to him. 

Which made him wonder if maybe it belonged to The Bandit.

If someone had asked him at that moment— Max would have said that he didn’t think The Bandit was dead. Same thing as if he didn’t know if he was dead, because to be dead, one needed to be born first, and Max had spent all his life not being himself. Being only what his powers were. That was why he had been locked up in his quarantine area since he was a baby. 

The Bandit wasn’t dead.

He hoped The Bandit wasn’t dead, because if he was dead, then—

Who are you, Max?

And Max didn’t answer. 

But The Bandit did. 

“Maybe you’re a ghost.”

To which Max said, “Maybe you’re a ghost too.”