Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Ash and Eiji had a love that may as well been mythical. An unusual one, to say the least. Eiji cared for Ash, Ash cared for Eiji. That sounds normal where two people in a relationship care for each other. No, they cared for one another beyond human understandment.

Imagine if Ash was on a New York bench, reading the letter Sing retrieved from the blonde’s lover, Eiji.

“—But I always felt like I had to protect you..”
But then Ash had a sudden moment of realization, a realization that fiercely punched him in the face;

Him and Eiji we meant to be together, no doubt about it.

He ran and ran, not noticing the lack of breath he had. He was only focused on one thing. It was to get to Eiji.

Out of the blue, a man with black, sharp hair came from the corner with a knife, foolishly rushing towards a lynx. Ash caught an unclear view of the knife, took out his gun and shot the guy with no hesitations.

It was Lao.

“L…Lao…?”

“Damn you… Ash. If you hurt Sing… I’ll..” Lao fought to got his last words out. Even though Lao didn’t finish, Ash had the idea what he’d say.

Ash couldn’t believe what he’d done. Ash didn’t want to believe it. He murdered the brother of an ally about his, without thinking about it. Ash was stuck there, but he grasped in a matter of time; Lao tried to take him away from his beloved Eiji. Ash took a deep breath, knowing he’d be on the brink of death if Lao caught him, and kept running to Eiji. When he passed the New York public library, time had slowed down. He recalled the time Eiji and him got into a fight and he’d gone to this library. Eiji found him there, he literally lit up the room. Eiji apologized to Ash, even though Ash thought and realistically knew he was in the wrong.

He was huffing and puffing, more than determined to get there.

“H..Here..!” Ash caught his breath.

Eiji knew that voice. A voice he loved dearly. Ash’s.

“Ash!!” Eiji, surprised and overjoyed, cheered his love’s name. “Eiji!” Ash did the same, racing towards Eiji.

“Ash!!?” “Ash!!!” Ibe and Max widely opened their eyes, in shock.

The blonde man sprinted to the pitch black haired man, who was in a wheelchair, his arms wide open for a long awaited hug.

“I missed you.” Ash softly spoke, crashing into his lover’s kind touch. “.. I did too.” Eiji blushed from relief, along with comfort, feeling Ash’s smile just through the tone of his voice.

“Look what I got.” Ash grinned, taking out an airplane ticket from his pocket. Eiji gasped and visibly held tears of joy back.

“Crybaby!!” Ash teased, jokingly pointing to Eiji. “I’m snatching you with me to Japan!” Eiji chuckled his way through the words, determined not to burst out in tears of glee. “… Yeah, I guess..” Ash pretended to be irritated with Eiji, but he obviously wasn’t in the very least.

Ibe says, hoping he wasn’t being a third wheel, “Alright! Nothing is stopping us three from leaving. Goodbye everyone! I know we’ll meet again!” The people they knew there warmly smiled.

Ash and Eiji saw Kong, Alex, Bones, and Sing on the airport balcony, Sing spoke, “You too better come back soon!!” Eiji beamed, slightly standing, as if this was the best moment of his being, “We will!!!”

And as if this didn’t feel fictional enough to Ash:

Ash he blinked, seeing three figures from a distance; A faint Shorter, Griffin, and Skip we’re there, smiling and waving. Ash blinked again to check his vision. Nothing was there that time.

A stray tear from Ash’s left eye fought its way out, but remained stuck. Ash smiled and immediately knew why they had to leave: to stop their horrific pain and to have this one meaningful moment, and soon enough, many moments to follow. With Eiji.

“Ash? Are you okay?” Eiji asked, noticing the single tear from Ash’s eye. “Oh, don’t worry. It’s nothing.”

Eiji, Ash, and Ibe began to board the plane.

Ash, wide eyed, realized he didn’t have any luggage.

“Eiji… I don’t have luggage.” Ash panicked. “That’s okay, Ash. We can buy you more clothes. You can share with me for now. I’m just glad you’re here.” Eiji peacefully spoke. “… Huh? It’s just THAT easy??!”

After a while of everyone being seated, the plane began to soar.

‘Sayonara America, Sayonara New York. I hope I’ll never need to say ‘Sayonara’ to you, Ash.’ Eiji was at peace in his mind. He looked at Ash, smiling.

Chapter Text

“Ash…? Are you awake?” Eiji gently shook Ash, trying to wake him.

The plane was finally at Japan after the very long ride, about 16 hours with the one stop in Europe.

“Hm?”, Ash slowly awoken from his prolonged unconsciousness, “I’m sorry for sleeping.”

“No, no! It’s okay. I’m going to get my luggage with Ibe-san. Let’s go!!” Eiji grabs Ash’s hand with a soft, yet exited, manner and ran to Ibe and their luggage. Eiji felt very excited, Ash knew. ‘He must be happy to see his family after dealing with all the New York gang things…’ Ash thought at that very moment.

They both find Ibe and they get the luggage, Ash helped Eiji and Ibe with some, of the many, luggage they had.

“So, do you think your family will like me, Eiji?” Ash smiled, trying to control his nerves, but on the inside, he’s overflowing with anxiousness. “They’ll love you.” Eiji responds.

Ibe, Eiji, and Ash spotted a little 6 year old child with a black, short haircut and another man what Ash assumed to be the kid’s dad.

“[Shunichi. Eiji.]”, the older man nodded in acknowledgement, he then saw Ash and his nose scrunched in what Ash assumed, disgust, “[Who’s he?]” “[Oh yes, this is Ash. He came back to Japan with Eiji.]” Ibe tried to explain to the judging man. “[Psh… Let’s go.]”

Ash was very intimidated. Even though he thought he could handle it since he’s handled insane mafia gang shit, the older man’s tone was intimidating and horrific, not to emphasize that he spoke in Japanese.

“Eiji..? What’s he saying? Who is he?..” Ash leaned to Eiji, whispering. “You wouldn’t tell yourself what he said if you were me… He’s Ibe-san’s older brother.” Eiji, though he hid it well, was just as nervous as Ash.

Ibe, Ash, Eiji, Ibe’s brother, and the kid got into Ibe’s older brother’s car. “[You 3 will be staying at our house for the night]”, Ibe’s brother started speaking, catching the attention and nervousness of Ibe, Ash, and Eiji in a millisecond, “[due to the long plane ride.]” Eiji whispered the quietest he could to Ash what Ibe’s brother said. ‘Huh?!’, Ash thought, ‘I wasn’t ready for this!!!! I guess it could be okay since Eiji’s here, though…’ Ash reddened at the thought of Eiji and him there together. After that, it was dead silent. As if, if you made a sound, you’d immediately perish.

Eiji threw the silence away by telling the child, “[Akira! I have many pictures I’d like to show you of America!]” Ibe panicked, thinking his brother’d lose his temper if anyone’d dare doing the crime of talking. “[Oohhh, really?]” The little girl’s eyes shimmered in anticipation. Eiji chuckled, answering, “[Haha, yes!!]”

Ibe calmed down from nerves and looked out the window. Ash, Ibe’s brother, and Ibe were dead silent as Eiji and Akira were talking to one another.

When they arrived to Ibe’s brother’s house, Ash took a deep breath after the horrifying silence, “Eiji, promise me you’ll teach me Japanese so I can make sure no one talks shit about me…” Eiji was about to scold Ash for swearing, but he’d remembered Akira didn’t know English, so he calmed down, genuinely saying, “Of course I will”, he smiled.

Ibe’s brother told Ibe, Eiji, and Ash where they’ll be staying. Of course, Eiji told Ash where he’d be.

Ash and him were sharing a room, two beds in it.

“Hm. This reminds me of the apartment in New York somewhat.” Ash reminds Eiji. “Oh yeah!! It kinda does! Do you wanna learn some Japanese right now? What do you want to learn in Japanese right now?” “I could go for anything.” Ash responds, his attention committed on Eiji. “I’m glad you’ve said that!!! I’ll start with-“ And then Eiji, with strong passion, went on and on with an entire Japanese study session for Ash.

Chapter Text

“Okay!! That’s how you say the Japanese seasons and colors!!! Let’s review basic greetings and farewells!!!” Eiji put his hands together, his face being as radiant as the sun, as if he wasn’t even a bit tired.

”Eiji… you’re a good teacher, but we’ve been studying for hours ever since we’ve gotten here… I’m tired.” Ash was about to pass out in the chair he sat at. “Oh yeah, you should sleep!!! We have to wake up at 10:00am, so rest, sleepy head!!” 

“Thank… you.” Ash slowly went over to his new bed, falling onto it, facing the other way from Eiji.

Eiji smiled and thought he’d better go to bed too. Eiji just thought Ash immediately went to sleep, so he just wanted to get it out,

“Night, Ash. I love you.”

Little did Eiji know, Ash wasn’t asleep just yet and he heard this. Eyes wide, he didn’t say anything. He just wrap his head around the reason why someone so kind and caring like Eiji would even slightly care about a guy like him. Ash just thought maybe he just misheard Eiji, or Eiji wasn’t being serious.

Ash woke up 6 hours later, his skin was lightly touched by the light, almost as soft as Eiji’s touch. He looked for Eiji’s comforting being. The blonde’s eyes met presence on the dark haired man.

“Morning Eiji.” The bright, lemon haired man groaned, standing up for the first time after his slumber. “Good morning Ash!” 

Ash and Eiji went down to get breakfast, and, wow… you’ll NEVER believe what was waiting on the table, ever so patiently…

TWO FULL BOWLS OF NATTO, FOR BOTH ASH AND EIJI!!

“Natto..?? Is the world cursing me?” Ash whined, but more in a sighing voice. “Nope!!! Just good luck!” Eiji teased, but somehow in a kind way, like he somehow pulls off.

Akira’s father came from the living room and sternly saying, “[You two will be going to Eiji’s home today to stay.]”

Eiji explained to Ash and they began chowing down their natto.

When eating the delicious natto, Ash got a phone call from the raven haired, young boy, Sing. Ash’s heart was caught by his nerves’ grasp.

“Sorry, I have to take this call…” Ash apologized to Eiji, exiting the kitchen and evacuating upstairs into their room.

“Hello.” Ash, pretending to be calm, but he sounded practically the opposite. “Heyyyy Ash!!!! How’s life in Japan with your BELOVED Eiji?!!” Sing exaggerating, kinda like how Shorter did.

“It’s been nice. Ibe’s brother is the most horrifying man I’ve encountered.”

”Wow! The infamous Ash Lynx, scared?!!” Sing teased.

”Is there something else you’d like to… talk to me about??” Ash, expecting this to hit the fan in less time than he could comprehend.

“… About that.. I know what you did. But I side with you.” 

“Sing… why..?”

…

“Well, it was hard to believe Lao would even do that. I feel awful he did that just for me…” Sing admitted, guilt overcoming him. “Sing, it’s not your fault. You aren’t mad that I haven’t changed?” Ash asked, his voice clearly wanting a truth.

“What do you mean?”

Ash felt the rough words making their way out of his mouth, “I haven’t changed after that entire killing war we just came back from. I killed Lao, Sing. Do you not understand that?”

“I’m… aware you’ve killed Lao. But, after a day of thinking about it nonstop, Shorter wouldn’t have wanted Lao to do that.” Ash felt Shorter’s presence in that moment, his scent, faint.

“Yeah… how’d you find out Lao’s intentions of protecting you?” Ash questioned. “I had one of my guys watch what you’d do when you had the letter to see if you’d go or not. He witnessed Lao’s attack on you and he told me later what Lao’s last words were. I feel terrible, though, all that… just for me?” Sing answered, but still, the guilt took over his young, meant to be bright, self.

“Sing, none of it’s your fault. You can’t stop someone from wanting to protect you. I’ve tried with Eiji, because I’m to dangerous for him.. but, guess what, he still loves me.” Ash explained to Sing, hoping this won’t effect his life later on. “Yes… I’m glad you saved yourself from him.” Sing, even though he hid it with his voice, held tears back into his lacrimal punctums. “You’re awfully mature for being 14, Sing. It’s actually kind of concerning. You handle these insane topics well.” Ash compliments the raven haired, young boy. The boy pretends not to be extremely flustered and thankful for this self-esteem boosting compliment, “O-Oh!! Thanks Ash! Not like I appreciate it, but thanks I guess!”

Footsteps were heard from behind Ash, but they sounded like the footsteps of someone who understood Ash and comforts him, Eiji. “Eiji, you can come in.” Ash slightly yelled, just loud enough for Eiji to hear outside the door. Eiji entered the room, “Oh! You’re on call with Sing! Hi Sing!!” “Heyyyyy!!!” Sing, upbeat, greeted. “What were you two talking about?” Eiji asked. “Oh!! Well… we were taking about stuff about… a book he asked me to read-!” “Sing, don’t lie… Eiji, I want to get this of my chest…” Ash stopped Sing’s lie to not get Ash in trouble with Eiji.

“What is it, Ash?” Eiji, not yet going to scold Ash for what he done, kindly asked.

Chapter Text

Well shit.

Ash, gulping through the immense pressure it’d take to say this, hung up on Sing— taking a deep, deep breath. In… and out…

“Eiji— I want you to know this is the last time that something like this would happen… I’m sorry. But… if you don’t want to forgive me, you’re obviously aloud to do that.” Ash aloud his blonde hair to fall over his face, in a tone of shame and disgust in his young, meant to be having fun, self.

“Ash… whatever you’ll tell me, I trust you had a reason. Please, tell me.”

Oh, Eiji’s too nice to me… Ash couldn’t believe it, how kind the crow colored hair guy was.

“When I was reading your letter, which I haven’t finished reading it yet, once I realized that… someone like you cared for someone like me, I ran, as fast as I could…. I ran, I ran, to you. But then… Lao, a member of the Chinese, ran up to me with a knife. Before he stabbed me, I shot him… with my gun… killing him.”

Water fled from his green eyes, guilt overthrown him from his throne of a mind full of pure peace.

He didn’t understand, he’s killed countless of people before, many that he didn’t have anymore tears to cry over. But, killing Lao proved that he wasn’t any different than he used to be.

“Ash…” Eiji sighed. Before Eiji could say a single word after that, Ash already concluded with the worst, “Like I said— in no way do you have to forgive me. I’m still just the same killing machine I always really was…—“

“You’re not a killing machine. As hard is it to take in, you did it in self defense,” Eiji spoke from understanding, “But… you took his life away… You could’ve told him and the rest of the Chinese gang why you had to kill Shorter. That was the reason, right?”

Ash went to his bed to sit.

“I assume it is, I’m sorry,” Ash’s heart filled with the feeling of mistake, “I need to stop making stupid mistakes that hurt others in the process.”

“Don’t say that— No human is perfect and has never made no mistakes. You can’t get better without them.” The boy’s heart spoke.

“You made a mistake before..? You’re too perfect to even be in the presence of someone like me.” Ash chuckled at his self deprecation.

“Don’t say that about yourself!! I’m not perfect, no one is. You’re good enough and I’ll make sure you know it.”

“Eiji… I love you.” Ash whispered, but with the volume Eiji could hear.

“Wha-..? Re… Really?” Eiji forced out those words due to his flusteredness, trying to comprehend what the sunflower haired boy just confessed.

“I’m sorry.” Ash apologized for his feelings. Hearing this, Eiji confronted, “What!? No need to say sorry!!”

“You’re… okay for someone like me to feel that way towards you..? After all the lives I’ve taken?” Ash questioned, in fear Eiji would be in danger again because of him. Like so many other times.

“Of course I’m fine with your love, Ash. I believe, I truly believe... that you are sorry for those lives. You did it to survive, the only way you could’ve.” Eiji had his voice’s tone so soft, so warm and comforting, his hands ran through Ash’s hair most smoothly. “I’m proud of you that you are here. You won’t do it again unless you really had to. And about your love…

—

I feel the same way.”