Chapter Text
Don't stop.
They just won't stop.
He never knew this would actually be a problem, the past just keeps haunting him nonstop.
No matter how much he focused on anything, the dark memories just continue to eat up his mind. Now he's scared that he would go mad.
Alphonse was extremely happy to finally live with his brother and on top of that, he recovers all the memories of what happened after they tried doing the human transmutation.
He didn't mind living in an unfamiliar world. He can simply get to know it and learn from it.
He didn't mind leaving the rest of his friends behind despite that he will or course miss them alot. He can simply make new friends and new people that can be newly important to him as well in the future.
Because Edward is both his family and home. When he experienced the dark memories starting to haunt him for the first time, he assumed it was just a side effect from the memories rushing into his mind.
It was only small images of blood and attacks appearing before his eyes whenever he did something that would trigger his brain. Such as accidentally getting a papercut when he flipped the pages of the book fast.
That only started less than 2 weeks ago..
They ended up becoming worse when days pass. He was wandering around in town to run some errands for his brother and a Gypsy girl named Noah, who is currently living with them now.
He didn't notice a girl running past his direction, she ran as if she is late for an event. She bumped into him so hard that the bag of fruits he bought a few minutes ago came out and onto the ground, on top of that, he met with the ground as well after failing to collect his balance.
He didn't even know if the girl apologised because a strong memory flashed before his mind, Fuhrer Bradley, sticking a sword through his armour, killing Martel inside, with blood flowing everywhere.
He didn't notice he was just sitting there on the ground, eyes wide open and his whole body shaking in fear of what he just saw and remembered until he snapped out of it with angry people yelling at him to get up and move out of the way since they can't pass through because of him blocking the path. The girl must have left because he couldn't find her anywhere.
He apologised and quickly collected all the fruits he accidentally dropped on the ground and went straight for home.
He still thought this was an exaggeration so he decided not to tell Ed about it. He hated making him worry over something so harmless.
Are memories harmless?
That's what he wondered as well. The worse is yet to come once he gets to have nightmares.
There is one that extremely bothered him, causing himself to be extremely fearful of someone. It was his and Ed's mother.
He couldn't stop dreaming about her revived, broken and decomposed corpse. What's new to his dream is that he received harsh and scary words, only to come out of his mother's voice.
"Why did you agree to bring me back to life Alphonse?"
"You will be punished for this you know that?"
"You will end up in a painful death like your insides will be exploded"
"I won't forgive you for this Alphonse. Never. Ever."
He assumed that his mother was spiritually mad at him. He didnt want that. He loved his mom. He would do anything that would make her be happy for him. So this was a huge scare for him.
He needs help.
He wants to tell Ed and tell him that everything will be fine. He keeps hallucinating He keeps having nightmares He keeps hearing the voices in his head every single day. He's almost at a point where he couldn't handle them anymore. He feels sick. Nauseous actually.
__________
One day, he now woke up, not feeling right. He just had another nightmare of his mother's corpse. He was shivering so badly, not knowing why. It wasn't even winter yet. And it seemed quite hot outside.
When he felt his skin, it was confusingly the opposite on what he's feeling, it was hot. He knew the temperature meant something, but he completely forgotten what that was. Must've been because he hadn't had his body for a long time.
"Hey Al! You up yet?"
His brother calls out happily. He then learns that today has an event coming. For some event, everyone outside is creating stands for random different types of food. Al smiled. He can't help but enjoy Ed being happy. He deserves it. After all they've been through. He can tell him his problem at another time, maybe tomorrow.
"Hey Al? You alright? Why still in your sleeping clothes? We gotta go soon!"
Ed appeared at his doorstep in his normal German clothing attire especially with the brown coat. Noah must've been downstairs making breakfast.
"Sorry brother, guess I overslept. I'll be in the bathroom".
Al found his voice weak. Not shaky, but weak. His brother notices and a tiny hint of worry appears in his eyes.
Great. I nearly ruined his high spirits.
"Al you didn't catch a cold or anything right?"
"Oh, no brother! I'm okay really! Guess still feel drowsy from last night sorry."
He quickly got up and went straight for the bathroom. He did his normal routine and noticed on the mirror that his face was a bit red. Was he really that stressed over from something that's from the past?
_____
"Al?" Ed questioned beside him as they and Noah were walking to the stalls. He looked up to his brother and gave him a questioning glance.
Ed couldn't help but smile at those curious grey eyes. He never noticed how adorable his brother actually looked in his body. He secretly still put shame in himself for turning him into an armour.
"You sure you're feeling okay right? I know I'm asking this alot but something just doesn't seem right and I just want you to tell me".
"Y-yeah brother I am!" Al for some reason was feeling a lot weaker.
God dam it what was that word they call it when a person experiences this?
"Al, you barely ate any breakfast and I can't help but hear you out calling help in your sleep. Seems to be a nightmare you're having nowadays."
So he did notice.
He was in the process of thinking he didn't even know he hadn't responded back, That was when he was stopped with two hands onto his shoulders with a pair of worried golden eyes staring at him.
"Al, if you don't want to tell me then that's fine. I'm not gonna push it out of you. But I just want to make sure that you know I am always here for you if you need anything."
Another great.. he thinks I don't like talking about it. Geez Al, since when will you ever stop screwing your older brother's happiness?
He got surprised when Ed let go of him and walked further. He expected him to continue holding him until he said something. He didn't want to distance himself further from him,
So he quickly went and grabbed his arm before he entered the even area.
I do need you, so don't go..
He saw Edward looking back with a bit of a shocked look in his eyes, it was clear that he didn't expect that.
"I-I need you brother. Of course I do, and I do want to tell you about something and I was planning to, really, I'm sorry. I just don't want to ruin anything especially on something you're happy on at the moment."
Ed smiled and pulled Al into his arms. He relaxed into the embrace.
"Oh Al. You will never ruin anything. The reason why I'm mostly happy on this day is because I get to spend time in this event with you. It makes me happier if you were to let me in and tell me anything. Because I love you Al."
For some reason, Ed's warm embrace made him sleepy. But he did listen to every word he said.
"Let me tell you. Let's enjoy ourselves with so much food today. Then we can talk once the day's over. How's that?"
Al smiled and nodded in his chest. But he then felt Ed tense when he started touching his shoulder.
"Hey Al, before we talk there's something I wanna check on. You're quite very warm you know that? You sure you're not under the weather or somethin?"
"Huh? Oh. Well I am feeling fine for now".
Al smiled he felt a bit better from the hug. He pulled out and decided to continue walking with him.
What he didn't know, is that an incident he will witness will create a huge impact on him badly. ____