Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Falling asleep was, to Elizabeth – or Bess to her friends – one of the hardest things.

Whether her body was exhausted, aching, desperate for sleep or not, her mind would race.

It would quickly create worlds for her to explore, stories to jump into, people to meet. The possibilities were endless as tales began and ended within her own head. When a story overcame her mind, she was a slave to its narrative – unable to concentrate until the conversation had been concluded, or the battle won.

And yet, with her incredible imagination and love of many genres of fiction, there was one story which Bess found herself drawn to above all others – Harry Potter. The possibilities were endless, as the fandom knew, and Bess would regularly find herself in the minds of students passing the Golden Trio, of people close to the Marauders, or she would find herself gallivanting across the castle with the Next Generation.

It was during one of these fantasies - laying in bed in the middle of the day, imagining what she would eat first if she were to find herself in Honeydukes - that it happened.

Bess felt her eyes drift shut, her breath calm, and her mind stop racing as she fell in to a deep and dreamless sleep. A weightlessness came over her body and a fuzziness overtook her thoughts, calming her and making her feel as if she were floating above the clouds.

Though when Bess awoke, she would not be in her twin bed. There would be no lumpy pillow. The ache in her lower spine from bending over books in the university library wouldn't be there anymore. The bags under her eyes would unfortunately be darker. There would be a scar running down her right arm – puckered and dark pink against her light golden brown skin, as if incredibly new. Her throat would be hoarse and burnt. She would have the word 'Mudblood' carved in to her arm.

She would not wake up in her own time – January 2016, but in January 1976 with a slightly different name, no recollection of how she came to be in St Mungos, and memories of a life lived in our world - a non-magical world - that the Healers said she did not live, but that Bess was certain she had.

And somewhat crucially, amongst those memories of her own world would be a strong but flawed recollection of the Harry Potter universe. For example - she would remember Horcruxes and be able to push herself to list their locations during Harry's search for them, and would know how to destroy them, but she would have forgotten what 'Mudblood' meant.

In short – Bess would wake up to find herself just a little bit screwed.

xXx

When she opened her eyes, Bess found herself confronted with a brilliant white ceiling, bright light, and silence.

The first thing to alert her to her change in circumstances was the ceiling above her – it was free from any imperfections – no cracks, no cobwebs, no marks, nothing.

Bess frowned as she tried to find the specific dark splotch in the corner of the room that had been the bane of her existence for the last two weeks – the only remnants of the mould she had had to get rid of in her flat. The mark had annoyed her because her landlord had sent her an email to say that she would have to pay for repainting costs once she'd moved out. She was still angry.

If the absence of the mark confused her, the dull pain in her arm did so even more. Her normal aches and pains were missing, and this was different. It was as if both of her arms had been on fire, and were now smouldering. The pain grew with every second that she focused on it.

Frowning deeply, Bess tried unsuccessfully to move her arms. They felt as though they were lead – keeping her weighed down. Eyes widening, she realised she couldn't move them at all. She began to panic.

Pushing up, Bess arched her back. Realising that she could move, she attempted to get her legs to work. They were sluggish, but after a little while of trying, she was able to move them from side to side.

The pain growing, especially since she'd used her aching muscles, she opened her mouth, ready to shout to her housemate Eloise to come and help her. However, when she tried to shout nothing came out. She tried again, and that was when she felt it – the intense, throbbing, scratching pain in her throat. It felt as though she'd been screaming for hours.

Her voice was so hoarse that she was barely able to manage a whisper even when she attempted to scream and shout with all of her might. This panicked her further.

She tried to look around for signs of where she was, but was confronted with white curtains, pulled all around her bed.

Only one thought went through her mind as she panted from the exertion – where the fuck am I?

Finding herself unable to speak, unable to move her arms, barely able to move anything else, and in pain, was terrifying. Tears sprang to Bess' eyes and she gasped in breaths, feeling her breathing speed up even more, her chest constrict, and her mind race until she could barely think as her head throbbed.

Trying to not have a full blown panic attack... to try and keep some measure of control in this space, Bess began using her breathing techniques to calm down enough to think. Breathe in for four, breathe out for eight, she repeated to herself as she lay, staring at a single spot on the immaculate ceiling. She began to count in her mind not only the counts, but also the number of times she cycled through to keep her focussed and grounded.

As her blood stopped rushing and thumping through her ears, she began to recognise words, sounds, and doors. Her eyes trailed over the mass of white curtains but this time she could see where the curtains started and stopped. Sunlight flowed through a miniscule gap between two of the curtains, and she trained her eyes on that place, hoping that it was the doorway to her little unit.

Two hundred... Breathe in for four, out for eight...

Three-hundred and four... Breathe in for four, out for eight...

Four hundred and eighty-six... Breathe in for four, out for eight...

After around 548 rotations of focussed breathing, Bess relaxed even more when she realised that she was definitely in a hospital of some sort when someone passed by her bay, asking for a burn remedy. Moments later, another voice passed by at a running pace, shouting about Blood-Replenishing potions. It wasn't lost on her that these were foreign terms, but she couldn't do anything about that right now.

Finally, after 900 iterations, or roughly three hours, the curtains opened to reveal a middle aged woman in a long lime-green dress with an odd mark stitched on the chest which looked to Bess as if it were a bone and a stick crossed over each other.

The woman, who was looking over her shoulder when she opened the curtains, said to someone unseen, "I'm just taking vitals, I'll be over in a second, Hols." Bess' eyes widened when she realised that the woman was holding a long stick in her hand. She didn't even want to think of what she'd use that for.

Bess gasped in a breath and tried to speak, her voice once again coming out as a raspy, garbled mess, her eyes wide. The woman turned to look down at Bess, the colour draining from her face until she stared, as white as a sheet, back at Bess. The woman gasped in a breath, and then began to shout.

"Oh. Oh my. You're awake. HOLS! HOLS SHE'S AWAKE!" She moved closer to Bess, her cold hands landing on Bess' arm and hand. Bess continued to stare, unable to muster the energy to move her legs, still unable to move her arms. The woman didn't notice Bess' fear, or if she did, she ignored it, possibly thinking that her hands were comforting on Bess' skin. "How long have you been awake?" she asked insistently. "We didn't think-"

Bess just about managed to whisper, "Help me. Please," before another person came through the gap in the curtains, followed by another, and another.

xXx

By the end of January, Bess had finally come to terms with three simple (and yet rather unbelievable and crazy) things:

First: something very, very bad had happened to her.

Second: she had the distinct impression that she was… well… inside the world of Harry Potter… as mad as that sounded.

Third: she most definitely was not in her own time... though she had yet to get a specific date or year out of any of the Healers, who seemed intent on keeping conversation as light as possible.

Once she'd reached these three realisations and finally begun to accept them as true (for now), she'd found it easier than she'd imagined to cope - she just kept telling herself that this was a very detailed dream, and that she should make the most of it while she could.

And it was a weird dream - having to lie in a bed all day, listening to idle chatter, being visited hourly by Healers for obs - and she knew that she probably would have been panicking more had it not been for the multiple calming draughts given to her at the first sign of an elevated heartbeat.

(Like the time when they'd told her that she was on a children's ward. Bess, a 20 year old woman, had complained, saying that she should be on an adult ward. Her Healers had replied, with sympathetic smiles, that she was a 16, not 20. Now that had been a shock. She'd not been able to control the panic that rose in her, and even her breathing and grounding techniques hadn't stopped her from panicking, so her Healers had poured a rather strong double-strength calming potion into her mouth, and she'd ended up asleep for two days.)

Not willing to risk another 48 hour sleep session, Bess had found herself trying to think through the positives of each situation which confronted her. For example, her age. The positives were that she still had the memories and knowledge of her 20 year old mind.

And then there was another, rather general, positive - magic.

As she'd adjusted to her surroundings, Bess found herself excited by little things, like the moving pictures in the Daily Prophet. Though this particular feeling had been short-lived. For some reason, the Healers refused to let her see copy after copy of the paper, until at last, a Healer had taken pity on her and, realising how bored she was, had told her about the hospital library. Within an hour, Bess had received a library copy of A Standard Book of Spells: Book One.

On the sixth day of her recovery, Bess began to realise that this was the longest, most peculiar dream she'd ever had. And a worrying thought began to move to the forefront of her mind - what if this isn't a dream? To distract herself from the resurgence of intense panic, she challenged herself to try and learn as much as possible while she was still here, hoping that maybe this distraction could help her focus her energies away from the negatives.

And so she quickly began to devour information. Luckily, in her own world, Bess had been studying for a university degree in both English and History, which had her reading over ten books per week.

Now that she had the added motivation of a distraction from her predicament, finding it a fun and relaxing way of disassociating herself from the white walls around her, and having access to core syllabus of magic from the Harry Potter universe (something she had only dreamed of learning), she had taken to memorising spells, and practicing her pronunciation and wand movements using a brush she was thrown by the bemused six year old in the bed next to her.

xXx

Exactly sixteen days since Bess had woken up in this strange world, she found herself sitting on her hospital bed, now reading her way through the O.W.L level books, Intermediate Transfiguration and The Essential Defence Against the Dark Arts. She had finished A Standard Book of Spells: Book Four that morning.

"How are you feeling this morning, Miss Coulson?" came the deep booming voice of the ward's Head Healer, a rather tall man with greying, thinning hair, a large smile and a joyful demeanour. The only indication that he had a tough job were the severe frown lines etched into his forehead.

He had taken to calling Bess by her surname first, as he did with all of the other patients on the ward, before then addressing her by her name in this world – Daphne. She still wasn't used to her new moniker. However, as she was still getting the lay of the land, she'd thought it prudent not to rock the boat and try to have her name changed from the offset. They had, she reasoned, got her surname right.

Bess looked up and smiled, placing her hand on the open page of her book to save her space. "I'm feeling a little better... and wondering when I'll be allowed out of this bed... I haven't been able to feel my butt in a while, and honestly, it would be good to stretch my legs beyond the loo!" she said, managing to force out a small giggle. This was met by the Healer's tremendous laugh, which echoed around the large bed-filled room. Bess sighed inwardly. She asked the same question every morning during rounds, and was yet to be given a definitive answer.

"I wager you'll be in bed for just a little longer, m'dear, but we'll get you out of here eventually," he said, moving to sit on the side of her bed, facing her but at a respectful distance. Bess wondered where the other Healers were. Healer Fenrose's morning rounds usually came with the presence of at least three young witches or wizards crowding the end of her bed, staring at her as if she were a zoo animal.

She forced another smile and said, "Sooner rather than later would be good!"

"Yes, well…" the older gentleman began, looking around before leaning in closer. In a quieter voice, he said, "you're going to have some visitors today. We've held them off for as long as we could, but you're much more awake and alert now and your injuries are healing as well as they can be, so…"

Bess' eyes widened and she leant forwards slightly. "Who... who is it?" she asked in an equally quiet voice. She wondered if she might be getting a visit from an Albus Dumbledore soon - she was of Hogwarts age after all... but had thought herself stupid for hoping that he would come. She had realised that although she didn't know the exact date, she knew from some of the clothes that the Childrens' Ward visitors were wearing, that it was probably pre-90s.

Fenrose pursed his lips and thought for a moment. He took a breath and said, "Aurors. Our… How did Jenkins say to put it? Ah yes, our version of the per-leez."

Bess tried not to smile at the mispronunciation. She'd realised a few days previously that the Healers were all trying to describe things to her in terms of the Muggle world, and had therefore quickly deduced that they must have thought that she was either a Half-Blood or Muggle-Born, if she had any magic at all...

"Police? Oh. Of course," Bess replied, her face morphing into a frown.

"Were you expecting someone else?" the older wizard asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bess wanted to say no, but found herself unable to lie to the man. He was, after all, her only real connection to the world outside the hospital, and she had been ashamed to admit it, but the lack of visitors really was alarming her. Did she not have anyone who cared for her in this world? "Well... Yes. I mean... you keep calling me Daphne... so someone must have told you that was my name... I just thought maybe someone from my family might have turned up by now?"

Fenrose grimaced. "Ah. Well, you see, that's what the Aurors are going to talk to you about as well... How you got here, and what you remember."

"But I don't remember anything," Bess replied quickly. "I mean... I do, but I don't remember anything from my life here..."

Fenrose nodded and shifted slightly, betraying his discomfort. "Yes. Well. They need to verify that. I think- I think this conversation is best left for their arrival."

Bess raised and eyebrow and leant forwards still. "But please? Healer Fenrose, please tell me something? Anything?" she pleaded. Her right hand coming to rest on her left forearm, where she began to absentmindedly run her nails forwards and backwards over her bandage.

Fenrose's eyes followed the movement, before he looked away suddenly, sighing heavily. "I'm sorry Daphne, but we were told not to tell you anything for the moment. After the Aurors have been… We'll try and fill in any gaps for you, but for now I'm unable to share any information."

Bess frowned deeply and continued to rub her arm as she looked down at the bandage. "Can I at least see my injuries? Healer Jones keeps covering up the mirrors in the bathrooms and bandaging my left arm while I'm asleep. She's wrapped my right when I'm awake, but keeps saying the left one is quite gnarly."

Fenrose sighed, and shook his head. "Again, I- I really think that's one to confront after you've had a chat to the Aurors. I'm sorry, Daphne, but I really can't tell you anything right now. Please, trust me when I say that I would like to, but it really would be best for you to wait."

"I can't say I'm not upset but…" Bess sat back, emitting a deep sigh, "do you know when they'll be getting here?"

"At some point this afternoon... I've told them when lunch is served, and they'll be coming around to speak to you sometime between then and five."

Bess managed to choke out an, "Okay," and swallowed thickly.

"I know you won't feel like eating anything now, I'm sure you'll have a lot on your mind. But at least have this," Fenrose said quickly, and from a pocket in his bright robes he pulled a rather large bar of chocolate. Breaking off a slab, he handed it to Bess, before snapping some off for himself, "I give chocolate to all of my patients. Well, the special ones anyway!" He winked before popping the small piece in his mouth and pocketing the rest of the bar.

Bess smiled and looked at the piece of chocolate in her hand. She felt a little comforted by its weight, and he was right. Even though she wasn't hungry now, the idea of something sweet was appealing. She raised the sweet treat to her lips, and then the face of Remus Lupin popped into her head. She frowned and dropped her hand back to her lap.

"Do you treat all children, Healer Fenrose?" she asked, curiously.

"Ah no…" he replied, shaking his head and crossing his arms. "I have the unfortunate pleasure of treating those of you with the… more difficult injuries. A tough job at times, yes, but one I enjoy..." he said, trailing off, deep in thought.

Bess grimaced as she thought of the little boy who'd come in screaming the previous day. He had what looked like a rather nasty burn on his hand. She looked over to his bed, just five down from her own. When she caught the little boy's eye, they shared a smile. He was doing a lot better today. She turned back to Fenrose and watched him frowned at the floor before he looked up and smiled serenely and added, "Seeing the look on the faces of children and families when they are reunited in good health is my utter joy."

Bess nodded and tried to smile back as she asked, "How old are your patients when they transfer to an adult ward?"

Fenrose's eyes focussed on Bess once more, and he sent her a sincere smile. "Don't worry, you won't be leaving us for a little while longer, but I'm sure that you won't be of age by the time you do."

Bess looked down and began to play with her bedsheet. "When will that be?" she asked shyly.

"You don't remember your birthday?" He asked, frowning. "I thought that was one of the first things the Healers-"

She shook her head quickly. "No, I think I do. I- I think it's October the 23rd. It's just... I can't be sure that it is. No one told me it wasn't, but no one told me that it was either."

Bess looked up to see Fenrose smile as he replied, "Well that's a relief. Yes, that's the date we have as well."

Bess smiled. She was intensely grateful that some things hadn't changed, though there was still the issue of her name... she had been working towards the topic of Daphne for a while. Was this a girl who she'd replaced in this world? Or was inhabiting the body of?

Fenrose looked over his shoulder towards the Healer station, before turning back to Bess. "Well, if there-"

"Healer Fenrose?" she asked quietly, cutting over him.

Fenrose frowned, but nodded all the same. "Yes m'dear?"

"Can- can I tell you something important? Something secret?" She felt silly, but she couldn't think of any other way to ask.

"Yes. Of course," he replied, a serious expression settling onto his face.

"I think... this is going to sound mad, but I think that my name is actually Bess. Well... well... Elizabeth... just... I don't think that my name's Daphne," she whispered, unsure of how the wizard would take this particularly weird confession.

He nodded solemnly, surprising her. "Ah yes, we weren't sure on what you would go with. Your full name was listed on your birth certificate as Miss Daphne Elizabeth Coulson, but the envelope it was kept in just said 'Bess's documents' on it." He tilted his head to the side and refolded his arms. "I could call you that if you'd like? Bess? Or do you have another nickname you'd prefer?"

"That... that might be good?" Bess asked, slightly unsure. "Could we maybe try it out? If that's not too weird?"

"Bess? Yes, of course!" he said with an overexaggerated grin. Bess couldn't help but smile back. "Shall we try it out now?" he asked, raising an eyebrow. Bess nodded. "How are you this fine day, Bess?"

Bess' eyes widened and she shook her head immediately. She'd been looking forward to being called by her real name, but hearing it being said in that moment was too jarring. Bess had grown comfortable already – her incapacitation had enabled her time to think, to adjust, and to enjoy. But suddenly she felt overcome with nausea and weakness again as the reality of her situation began to sink in again - she had spent sixteen days in this world now, with no end in sight.

Her familiar name had turned from a safety blanket into a harsh reminder that she was now alone. She was far away from her friends and anyone who loved her. Far from anywhere or anyone that made her feel truly safe. And she was trapped inside the hospital until they deemed her fit enough to go outside. And they wouldn't give her an end date.

She shook her head sharply and said, "No, sorry. On second thoughts. Please don't. I'm sorry, I just- I think Daphne would be better for now. Easier to- to- to- I'm sorry, I just-"

Fenrose shook his head and smiled at her kindly, reaching a hand out in front of him in a calming gesture as Bess took in deep breaths. "Of course. Daphne it is."

She nodded and gulped. "I'm sorry. It- It's not the way you said it, really, I just- It's... it's jarring, and-"

"You don't need to explain yourself to me. It's okay. You've been through an emotional and physical trauma worse than I have seen in a decade. You still don't have answers about why you're here, and where here is. You believe that you have been thrust in to a world that is not your own," Fenrose reasoned, "I would be more worried if you were stoic and infallible in the face of all of this. The fact that you look sick at a personal nickname is good. It means that there's a part of your brain which is fighting. I just hope that you still enjoy my company once you find out what happened to you."

Bess, who had found herself comforted beyond words by Fenrose's speech, frowned as he said his last, and looked up sharply. "What do you mean?" She asked, as Fenrose ducked his head and stared intently at his hands.

"Well, for one, I'm a Wizard. And I would understand if you were distrusting of magic once you hear what occurred. And second, I am in charge of your care, so it stands to reason-" Fenrose sighed deeply. "Daphne… Be- Daphne... I did everything I could to try and rectify the damage you suffered. We did everything that we could. But there are still limitations to what we can heal," he sighed again as he finally allowed his hand to come to rest on Bess' right forearm. "The Aurors will explain everything to you, and ask you some questions. But I'm afraid that some of your scars will remain."

Bess smiled sadly at the Healer. "I could never blame you for scars you didn't give me," she whispered, ducking her head, her eyes trained on the top-left corner of the book on her lap.

"Yes, well, there's a reason we haven't let you look in the mirror yet," he said, before he patted her forearm again. After a few moments he stood and stepped away, drawing his hands back to cross his arms. "I am sorry."

"Don't be," she replied quickly, looking up at the Healer.

He nodded. "They're not too bad at all, considering… I just feel awful that I couldn't do more."

"Please don't feel bad for any of this," Bess said, offering him a small smile.

"I really should get back to my rounds. I can only apologise for having to leave like this," he said, sending her an concerned look.

Bess let the corner of her mouth tip upwards for a moment and nodded. Looking at him, she thought of all of the things she wanted to say. She wanted to thank him for saving her life, or for doing everything he could to heal her and her scars. She wanted to apologise for the fact that he had to deal with injuries like hers on a daily basis and feel guilty for not being able to heal kids completely. But she didn't. Instead, she just replied, "Really. I'm fine. Thank you."

He nodded. "I'll return once the Aurors have left to check on you."

"See you later," she replied.

"Miss Coulson," he said finally, nodding to her.

When he began to walk away, her eyes were drawn to the Healer's station, where three young Healers stood, staring at her. They quickly looked away when they saw her catch them. She watched Fenrose re-join the group and usher them to another bed. In that moment she felt relieved that he'd had the forethought and kindness to warn her of the impending Auror visit on his own.

Falling back against her pillows, Bess tried to shake away her thoughts of home, of her own world, which had brought tears to her eyes and a lump to her throat.

Wanting to distract herself once more, she placed her books onto the bedside table and picked up two new ones - the small notebook given to her by the Healers, which she had taken to writing spells and wand movements in, and a well worn copy of A Standard Book of Spells: Grade 5. Flicking to the first page, she began to read.

Chapter Text

"Miss Coulson?"

Bess, who was still sitting cross legged on her bed, looked up to see two men wearing long black robes approach her bedside.

The first was shorter, around her height, Bess would imagine, and incredibly skinny. An older gentleman, he had the look of someone who hadn't slept in a few weeks and Bess thought that a soft breeze might blow him over.

The other, a rather tall young man with dark red hair, had similar bags under his eyes, but in stark contrast to his partner, was rather built. He looked as if he could break Bess' arm like a twig if she got in his way.

"Yes, that's me," she said quietly, closing her books.

"You were expecting us?" the older man asked, and Bess nodded.

She took a moment to stack them carefully on the side table next to her, trying to hide her nervous gulp as the men pulled out their wands and began to wave them around. While one closed the curtains around them, the other waved his wand above his head, muttering incantations quickly and skillfully. Protective spells, Bess thought to herself. When they had finished, they turned to her once more.

"My name's Delbert Barracus," said the older wizard, "and this is my colleague, Jasper Serpen," he added, indicating the redhaired young man. "We're Aurors with the Ministry of Magic." He put his hand into his pocket and withdrew a little black pocketbook which he flipped open to show his credentials. Bess nodded when she had finished reading, though she recognised that this was more of a reassuring gesture - they all knew that she had no idea if he was legit or not, and was relying solely on the Healer at the Healer's station to confirm that they were real Aurors.

"You were told we would be visiting you today?" he asked, and when Bess nodded, he continued, "we're here to talk to you about a disturbance at," Barracus said as he pulled out a notepad and flipped it open, "a number 43 Stafford Street, in Redbridge, Greater London."

"Oh- I- Is that where I was?" she asked in a worried tone. She recognised that address. In her own world, she had grown up at number 41 Stafford Street, and knew the family at number 43.

"You don't remember?" Barracus asked quickly. It didn't sound to Bess as though he was shocked, but his eyebrow raised all the same.

"I don't... sorry..." Bess cleared her throat and reached over for a glass of water. She gave herself a moment to take a sip and steal herself for the lies she would have to tell, and then replied, "I don't... I don't remember much before the start of January really." Though, when she thought about it later, was it really a lie if she didn't remember anything from this world before January?

The younger man's deep voice cut through her thoughts as he said, "Told you, Del. He did his job too well this time."

"Nah, it'll be the trauma I'm sure. Though after what happened with Ravers, they might have tried to wipe everything..." Delbert replied in a disappointed tone.

"Excuse me?" Bess asked anxiously. What had they wiped?

Barracus frowned at his colleague, before he turned to Bess once more and said, "This is very important. Do you remember anything? Anything at all about what happened to you?"

Bess shook her head. "I- no- I mean..." She took a deep breath and placed her water back on the table. She couldn't maintain eye contact with either of the men, so she focussed her eyes on the loose thread hanging from the second Auror, Jasper Serpen... she reminded herself. The loose thread hanging from Jasper Serpen's sleeve. "I remember falling asleep, and when I woke up I was here."

Barracus nodded and shared a look with his colleague before sighing deeply.

After a moment, Jasper asked, "We need to tell her, don't we?"

Barracus shook his head. "No… Not if she's not…"

"Not what?" Bess asked, impatiently. If they continued to talk about her as if she wasn't there, she was sure she'd scream from frustration.

Barracus pursed his lips, his eyes flicking back to her face, before he replied, "Do you know where you are?"

"Yes. I'm in a ward on the Fourth Floor of St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries," Bess reeled off.

"Yeah... that doesn't prove anything, Del," Serpen muttered tensely. "We have to check to see if she's... you know..."

"I know that! You think I don't know that?" hissed the older wizard. Bess winced, but Jasper didn't react. She wondered if this was normal behaviour for Barracus, or if he was just too tired, and Serpen knew that.

Serpen sighed and rubbed his forehead. "Okay. Should we just test her or something? I can't be bothered to go through all the paperwork to get someone down here just to find out we obliviated a witch for the second time for nothing."

"I was obliviated?" Bess asked, sitting up straighter, eyes wide.

"I- Yes. Merlin. Hasn't anyone told you anything?" Serpen replied, frowning down at her. For the first time, Bess found herself completely able and willing to make eye contact with the Auror. She could tell he was really shocked that she didn't know anything.

"They said they weren't allowed to tell me anything until you came to see me," Bess replied quietly, shaking her head.

Serpen frowned deeply and looked to his older colleague. Even though he lowered his voice to a whisper, she managed to make out their next conversation. "What's procedure then? Do we tell her? Because I'm not leaving her here not knowing... it's been over a month, and-"

"Yes…" Barracus said, cutting across Serpen, grimacing. With a wave of his wand, he conjured up two chairs and sat in the one closest to her bed.

"We should test her first, right? She might have lost her abilities due to the trauma," Serpen added as he slumped down in the second chair.

"Hmm..." Barracus said, rubbing his chin. He let out a long sigh and said, "Fine. Okay... Right. I'm going to give you my spare wand for one second," he said, pulling a long black wand out of his pocket. "One second, mind you. Enough for one spell. And remember, we're trained Aurors. Don't try anything." He waited until Bess nodded nervously, and then he handed it over. "I want you to move your hand in a motion like this," he demonstrated an intricate arm movement, "and then say Aguamenti. Does that sound alright?"

Bess stared down at the wand in her hand. It felt foreign, unusually heavy, and she didn't have the warm feeling which Harry described. She wasn't sure if, after all, she could perform magic.

"Merlin, Del! I think that's a bit advanced for her, don't you think?" Serpen asked in a loud whisper. "Shouldn't we start with Wingardium or something?"

"I think I can handle it," Bess replied, defiantly. "Like this? Aguamenti."

From the tip of the wand burst a stream of clear liquid. She watched as it arched through the air and splashed down at the end of her bed, soaking the blanket in pure water. She tried not to smile when some of it sprayed onto Serpen's arm and leg, eliciting a small disbelieving laugh from the young Auror. Barracus pursed his lips and reached forward to take back the long black wand quickly.

"Ah bollocks!" Jasper exclaimed, throwing his head back with another laugh. "I was hoping we could just go back to the office and put our feet up for a bit!" He tipped his head forwards enough to wink at Bess, who smiled.

"Right. I guess it's time to tell you what we know then," Barracus said reluctantly, and Bess turned her attention to the more serious wizard. "Where to start… where to start?"

"How about... how do you know who I am?" Bess asked, as she sat up straighter.

"I'll get to that, girl! Don't be impatient," snapped the older wizard. "It's a long sto-"

"Start with the call out," Serpen interjected, sending Bess a small, reassuring smile which she returned.

"Right. Well…" Delbert pulled out his notepad again and flicked it open. "On the night of the 1st January, we were called out to a disturbance at-"

"Oh come on! Skip to the bit she actually wants to hear, Del!" Serpen said quickly, reaching over to the notepad and flicking forwards a few pages.

Barracus sent him a glare and said, "If you think you can do better, go ahead!"

"Fine! I will!" Serpen said as he grabbed the notepad out of Delbert's hands and, after scanning the pages, began, "Like Del said, on the 1st Jan we were called out to a house. When we turned up, there was a dark mark in the sky. You know what a dark mark is?"

"No," Bess said with a frown. She felt as though it was on the tip of her tongue, but she just couldn't remember...

"Uh- Right… so the dark mark is... ah... it's just a bad thing, ok? Well, it was there, and so we rushed in. But weren't expecting to see anyone alive. What we found-" he stopped, letting out a low whistle. His expression fell for a moment, but then he blinked and looked to his colleague, an impassive expression on his face. "Ain't seen nothing like it, have we, Del?"

Barracus, who now looked incredibly uncomfortable, shifted in his seat and nodded, before looking down at the floor.

Serpen turned back to Bess and continued, "Absolutely awful. Don't wanna tell you any more than that really. But… well... there was a noise, wasn't there, Del?" He looked to his colleague for a moment, as if confirming that he should continue. Barracus nodded again, still not looking up. "So we went in further and… well… we found you and this bloke. Both of you were alive still. No idea how, but you were. The scene was pretty gruesome, wasn't it, Del?" Neither Bess nor Serpen needed to look at Barracus to know he was nodding along. "I kid you not, you looked at me and you just screamed. Screamed and screamed. No word of a lie, it took a week for me to stop hearing it in my sleep."

"And me," came Barracus' voice. "Still get the chills thinking about it if I'm honest."

Serpen sent his colleague a small look, before turning back to Bess. He wriggled slightly in his seat, and then continued, "So we got you both here. To the hospital. The bloke was in a really bad way. Didn't think either of you would make it, but he was awake at least. He told us some things… and then we went to see you."

"Sorry," Bess whispered.

Serpen sent her a smile and shook his head, "No need to apologise. You look a lot better now. It's good to see you sat up. Think we were both scared you'd scream at us again!" he said with a quick laugh. His expression fell. "But anyway. Where was I?"

"You came to see me?" Bess replied in a monotone voice, tears welling in her eyes.

"Ah yes. You were screaming and screaming. After what that bloke told us, well… we were surprised you could even do that anymore. Talking to the Healers, they said you'd had too much trauma and couldn't process the pain. Honestly thought you'd go mad, didn't we, Del?"

"So what happened? Auror Barracus... you mentioned a memory spell?" Bess asked, eager to hear what happened next.

"Jasper and Delbert, please," Serpen said quickly, and Bess nodded. "Well… talking to the Healers…" he sighed deeply before continuing, "we decided to try a memory charm. You know, take away the mental trauma so they could fix the physical. At first it seemed like the best thing. We thought you were dying. Don't know how surprised we were when you woke up! And Frank, oh, sorry, Healer Fenrose, said it's unnerving how well you're recovering. Says he keeps having to give you pain and calming draughts but otherwise you're healing well. Still got bandages on though?"

"They won't let me take them off," Bess said quietly, looking down at her left forearm.

Jasper took in a deep breath, his eyes trailing over the bandages on her arms, and said, "Probably for the best, eh?"

"But why? Please. Please tell me more," she pleaded, grabbing Delbert's hand as he was closest. He looked incredibly uncomfortable, but he patted her hand before pulling away.

"I think the most you should know is… Well… Del?" Jasper deferred.

Delbert was quiet for a long time before he asked, "How much do you know about Death Eaters?"

"Nothing," Bess lied. She couldn't quite remember the dark mark, but Death Eaters... now she definitely remembered what they were.

"Well… they're… they're followers of a powerful wizard. They're into dark magic. Very dark. They… they've taken to… Muggle-hunting..." Delbert said slowly.

"But if I can do magic then I'm not a Muggle then am I?" Bess asked, even though she knew what they would say next. She felt that she needed to play dumb to get as much information out of them as possible. She didn't want to assume anything. Not with what she'd just found out.

"Uh- no," Delbert replied with a pained expression on his face. "You're a Muggle-Born. So... Well, the bloke who came in with you said that-"

"Who was he?" Bess cut across him.

Delbert frowned at her and, after taking the notebook back from Jasper and reading, replied, "His name was Lucas Grouse. Half-blood wizard. He said that you received your Hogwarts letter when you were eleven, but your parents decided not to send you. Something about not trusting that you'd be safe. Apparently they visited Diagon Alley with you and something happened. Well, Grouse said he was your neighbour. Decided to help teach you himself because he'd noticed you had strong magic by the time you were seven. Kept an eye on you."

"Oh," Bess said quietly, her gaze moving to her hands which she wrung together in her lap.

"Yeah, well apparently he said something… off-hand at a pub one night… well… said he was why they came for you," Delbert added, drawing Bess' eye and he shifted in his seat again.

Bess, who wanted to know more about what happened, asked, "And... my family? Are they still alive?"

Delbert shook his head. "We thought they might be, but I'm sorry, no. When he told us all this, we sent a couple of Aurors round to your house. It seems like they went to your house first."

"Oh god!" Bess clasped a hand over her mouth as tears began to cloud her vision.

"I'm sorry," Jasper said quietly, grimacing and looking away, his jaw clenched.

"What happened?" she asked with wide eyes.

"I don't think you need to hear anymore," said Delbert, finally looking up at her. "It was an awful scene." His eyes, too, were glistening with unshed tears.

"What. Happened?" she asked, more forcefully this time as tears began to fall down her face.

"You were tortured," Delbert replied after a beat. "For a while by the looks of things. And…"

"And what?" Bess gasped out.

"Well… you said they haven't taken off your bandages?" Delbert asked, nodding to her arms.

"I know I have cut down one of my arms," she whispered, running her left hand down her right arm.

"You don't know about the other one?" Jasper asked, eyeing the bandage on her left forearm.

"No. Why?" she asked, looking from Jasper, to her arm, and back again.

Her heartbeat began to speed up as she stared at the white fabric. She wiped her eyes with the back of her hand before she began to unravel the white cloth.

"Uh- maybe now's not the-" came Jasper's voice as Bess ripped off the bandage.

When she did, she revealed a word, carved in jagged letters on her forearm. Already healed, the scars were a deep brown colour and raised, marring her otherwise lighter golden brown, freckled forearm.

"OH. MY. GOD!" Bess cried, gasping, and putting a hand over her mouth. "OH. MY. GOD! OH MY GOD! OH MY GOD!" It seemed as though that was all she could say. Her skin felt hot, her heartbeat sped, her head felt fuzzy, and she continued to repeat those words over and over.

She didn't even register Jasper pulling open the curtains and calling for the Healers, or being pushed back to lying on the bed, or having a calming potion and sleeping draught poured into her mouth.

xXx

That night Healer Fenrose had come to see Bess to explain more about her injuries, and reiterate that there was only so much they could do to repair the damage to her arms, and that her scars would remain for the rest of her life – some magic could, to put it simply, not be undone.

After crying herself to sleep for a week, Bess resolved to try and wake herself up from this now-nightmare, hoping to go back to her own world.

Unfortunately, she fell down at the first hurdle - the hospital library contained no books relating to time, or world travel, and she was still too unwell to be released. But, she reasoned, she could at least continue to educate herself about where, and when, she was.

She spent every day trying to convince the Healers that she should be allowed to sit either in the waiting room, or the café, for a few hours each day. It took her two weeks, but they finally thought she was stable enough to do this, as long as staff had their eyes on her at all times.

For the Healers, this meant that she had progressed in her recuperation. For Bess, this meant that she could read newspapers.

From the moment the Aurors had mentioned Death Eaters, Bess had understood that she was in one of two time periods – the First, or Second Wizarding War. She didn't know which one was worse.

When she had finally managed to steal a copy of The Daily Prophet and seen the date – 8th February 1976 – she had almost fainted. She was 16, and in 1976. This put her at the same age as the Marauders, Severus Snape, and Lily Evans. While she sat in the waiting room of St Mungo's, they sat in a classroom, learning magic.

If truth be told, Bess was conflicted and confused. As much as she thought that she was in some sort of weird dream (and she was almost completely sure that she was), there was a small voice in the back of her head telling her that there was a chance that she really was here... and if that was the case... shouldn't she stay and try to change things?

As an avid Harry Potter fan, she had had fantasy after fantasy about changing the timeline – ensuring that James and Lily didn't die... That Harry grew up happy... That Sirius wasn't imprisoned... Remus wasn't impoverished... Or, failing all of those, just trying to make sure that Remus and Sirius didn't die by the time Harry turned 18.

It was that part of her which took over one day as she sat in the hospital café with a rather large piece of chocolate fudge cake and a steaming cup of tea in front of her. Tearing a page from her notebook, she picked up her well-used quill and began to write:

Dear Professor Dumbledore,

I don't think that you'll remember me, but my name is Daphne Elizabeth Coulson. I was meant to attend Hogwarts in the autumn of 1970.

I am writing to you from the café in St Mungo's, where I am an in-patient.

If there's any way that I could have a chat with you to talk over my options, I would greatly appreciate it.

Yours sincerely,

D. E. Coulson

She didn't know if the letter would do anything, and she was sure that it would sound somewhat craxy, but if this Dumbledore was anything like the one in the books… Well… she would be interested to receive a response.

xXx

The next few weeks passed quickly in a haze of potions, books, people-watching, and newspapers, and Bess still hadn't heard anything from Dumbledore. She had, however, had another visit from Aurors Delbert Barracus and Jasper Serpen. They had explained that, as they had been informed by Healer Fenrose that she would be ready to be discharged from the hospital within a matter of weeks, they had looked in to the subject of her inheritance.

Her parents had almost paid off their mortgage when they died, thanks in part to a large inheritance upon the death of one set of her grandparents. Having no aunts or uncles, and the other set of grandparents also deceased, but being of such an age that she could live by herself, she was given a choice of what to do next – return to her house, or put it up for sale and use the proceeds to find somewhere else to live.

After seeing photos of the house, which scared her immensely - it was eerily the same as her own parents' home in her own world - she had decided to put it up for sale, not wanting to have to step foot in that horrible place again. In her own world, Bess had grown up with an abusive father and a neglectful mother. Her family in her time and her world was now made up of friends, not blood relatives. She had chosen to leave home at 18 and had not looked back, cutting all ties with her parents.

"Are you sure?" Delbert asked, frowning.

"Yes. Please. I really don't want to go back there. I- I can't," Bess replied, sniffling. She hadn't told them that she recognised it, but had instead said that she didn't think that she wanted to go back there, for fear of remembering what had happened.

"That's a good place to live y'know. A good Muggle area. And in London too," the older wizard tried to persuade.

"I- I really can't," she said, shaking her head and sighing deeply. "I just can't do it."

"But you... don't recognise it?" Delbert asked, his eyes narrowing. Though, when Bess shook her head, he said, "okay, well… I'll get someone to look in to selling it for you when we get back to the office."

Bess looked up, tears streaming down her face. "W-w-won't I have to do anything?" she stammered.

"Honestly? After what you've gone through, I don't think anyone will mind if we take care of this one for you," Jasper replied, reaching over to put a reassuring hand on her left arm.

"Well, won't it be a lot of paperwork for you?" She asked, wiping her eyes when Jasper's hand fell back to his lap.

"It'll be worth it if I never have to see that look on your face again," Delbert said, a sad smile, which looked more like a grimace, on his face.

"Sorry," Bess managed to say, before letting out a sob.

"Ah, come on now! You'll set me off if you keep crying!" Delbert said, thickly, looking around the room.

"Yeah. Save that for when you're out of this place and see how much gold you owe the café!" Jasper said, laughing slightly.

Bess' eyes widened as she let out a small laugh. "Oh god! I didn't even think about that!"

xXx

Exactly nine weeks since she had been attacked, Bess was sat in the café once more, tucking in to a large piece of toffee and apple cheesecake, when she heard her name. Looking up, she gasped and dropped her fork.

In front of her stood Professor Albus Dumbledore.

Chapter Text

Professor Albus Dumbledore stood before her.

He was tall, much taller than she had imagined... and more... wrinkled. He had a long silver beard which fell to just above his belt. His robes, a soft blue, were long, reaching almost to the ground. If she had come across him in the café with no knowledge of who he was, she wouldn't have given him a second glance except to think man, that guy's old. And the thought crossed her mind that maybe he had adopted the understated clothes so as not to scare her, or if it was to try and, as much as possible, go incognito for his visit.

"P-professor," said Bess, nodding shyly at the wizard in front of her.

"Hello, Miss Coulson," he replied, nodding back at her, his hands clasped at his back.

"Be- sorry. Daphne. Uh- call me Daphne," Bess stammered, kicking herself for almost calling herself Bess. As the weeks had passed and she'd settled in to a routine, she'd become less scared of being called by her actual name. But this didn't seem like the time to bring that up. "Uh- would you like to sit down?" she asked after a moment, gesturing to the chair across from her.

"Thank you," he replied, pulling the chair out. Bess noted how he made the movement of sitting look graceful. As if he were sitting in an armchair, and not a grotty old hospital café seat.

Silence enveloped them, and Bess' mind wandered under the pressure of not knowing what to say to the wizard. Her eyes flickered to her plate and she immediately regretted her slice of cheesecake – how was she meant to eat in the presence of Albus Dumbledore? She began to think of the things which she knew about him. He was trustworthy to a point, but he used people. He'd used Harry.

As the silence continued, she began to wonder if she'd made some things about him up. Wasn't he talkative in the books? she thought to herself as he simply stared at her and made no move to speak. She also noted that there was no twinkle in his eye as he appraised her. Only a hard curiosity.

"You got my letter then?" Bess blurted out, unable to take the silence anymore. She pursed her lips and mentally slapped herself when the words came tumbling out. She realised that she should have asked if he'd received her letter. She sighed deeply.

Dumbledore adjusted his chair slightly and replied, with a small nod, "Ah yes. Some weeks ago. My apologies for not replying sooner."

Bess ducked her head and picked up her fork, stabbing at her cheesecake absentmindedly. She had been a bit hurt that he hadn't replied or attempted to visit her. But she'd reasoned that it was 1976, and therefore in the middle of the First Wizarding War. At this time not only was Dumbledore heading up The Order of the Phoenix, but he was also working closely with the Ministry of Magic, and running Hogwarts.

"That's ok. I- You're here now," she said, raising her head and smiling at him. "Would you like to know what's going on with me?" she asked hesitantly when the silence began again.

Dumbledore sighed and adjusted his glasses. He moved his hands to his lap again, and his eyes sought hers. "I have not been idle during those weeks. I have spoken to many people about you, Daphne," he said slowly, "and have sought out as much information as possible to find out what happened to you, and to learn the intricacies of your situation. In short, I am aware of 'what has been going on with you', but now I would like to hear your point of view, and why you sought me out."

"I- Uh- yes, Professor," Bess replied hesitantly, her breath catching in her throat for a second. She silently thanked Healer Fenrose for requesting that she have an extra strong calming potion that morning. Did he know Dumbledore would be coming? she wondered.

She was, despite the potions, nervous. She had imagined her meeting with Dumbledore since she'd sent him her letter, and every time, she had told him everything - that she was not a witch, was not of this time or world, and that she wanted to go home.

However, now that the man was sat before her, she didn't know how to go about telling him everything. Every time she'd thought up the scenarios, he'd thought that she was crazy. And she didn't want to pretend to be a Seer or something. No, in that moment, as they sat in the café, cheesecake on the table between them, the clatter of plates and cutlery echoing around them, all that Bess wanted to do was omit any mention of the Harry Potter books, any information she knew of the war and what was to come. This wasn't the Dumbledore she had imagined. This was a harder, more stern Dumbledore. And if the Dumbledore she had imagined hadn't believed her... Well...

And, she reasoned, Dumbledore had a record for using and abusing his wards, casting them aside when he no longer had use for them. And Bess didn't want to be tied down, used, or manipulated. Not anymore.

And so, she resolved to tell him some truths, just not all of it. Sitting up in her chair, she nodded to herself and tried to think of where to start. She knew that if anyone were to see through her lies, it would be Dumbledore.

So she began slowly. "Has anyone told you that I don't remember my life before January?"

"Yes," he replied shortly, his eyes trained on hers. Bess shifted again in her seat. She knew that Dumbledore was trained in Occlumency. She wondered if he would try to access her memories, and tried to think of what to do if he did.

She took in a deep breath and said, "Well, that's not entirely true..."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "No?" he asked, his eyebrow twitching upwards for a moment.

Bess shook her head and said, "I... Well, I don't know how to explain it properly, but I- I do have memories… only, they're not of this… they're not... I- I have... sorry." She stopped and took in another deep breath. "I have memories of being a Muggle."

"You do not remember magic at all?" he asked, his eyes narrowing.

Bess tilted her head from left to right and looked to the ceiling for a moment. "Uh - yes..." she said, her eyes flickering back to Dumbledore. "I mean... I do... but... it's hard to explain... okay... I do know some magic... and I've been reading up on-"

He let out a breath and cut across Bess. "I have spoken to Healer Fenrose. He informed me that you sit in your bed, reading as many magical books as possible and practicing… with a hairbrush," he added in an unimpressed tone.

Bess winced, her face pulling into a grimace. "Oh. Well… yeah. I- I- I… can I be frank with you?" she asked, leaning forwards slightly.

"Of course," he replied, nodding. "I would expect nothing less."

"I – this is going to sound crazy, but – I think I'm not from this time. Or this world. I- I believe I might- well… I don't really understand it myself… but-" Bess broke off and sighed deeply. She just didn't know how to go about it. What was she meant to say? I'm from outside of these fictional books and–

"Daphne," Dumbledore said. "I have spoken to many people about your condition- Healers, Aurors, Ministry officials to name but a few. Even to people who spoke to Mr. Grouse before…" he trailed off and looked down at his right hand, which now rested against the table top. "And I have come to the conclusion that you have suffered greatly, and that-"

"Professor, I'm so sorry, but please, can I continue?" Bess asked, staring at the Wizard again.

"Miss Coulson..."

"No. Look... I need to tell you everything that I can," she said, sitting forwards still, leaning her elbows on the table top.

With a deep sigh, Dumbledore sat back in his chair and nodded for her to continue.

Bess took a deep breath. "I've been trying to figure out how to say this to you and I'm honestly finding it the hardest thing. I- Well… The memories I have… they're non-magical... but I know I can do magic. I know it sounds crazy, but one day I went to sleep, and I woke up here. In a bed on the fourth floor," she said, gesturing wildly, a frown etched in to her face, her eyes glistening. "I had no idea what was going on. And yet I started reading books... and learning… and then... did the Aurors tell you that I could cast spells?"

"They mentioned an attempt at one, yes," Dumbledore replied, his eyes still narrowed.

Bess bristled at the word attempt, but decided to let it go. "Good. Because that proves that I have some kind of magic in me, right? And... and I've been trying to learn… I- I don't really know why I'm telling you all this, I just felt like you needed to know that I have been trying to adapt," she said, looking down. "But ultimately... I- I want to go home… I think. You... you know. To my world, and my time? And I think that you- you might know how I can do that?"

"Miss Coulson..." Dumbledore said slowly, shaking his head. "I must apologise, but I simply cannot believe what you are telling me. I do not doubt that in your mind, you believe this to be true," Dumbledore replied, leaning forwards again, looking deeply into her eyes, his startling blue meeting her light brown. "You have suffered a trauma so great that only by creating false memories has your mind survived. I believe that you have created another life for yourself, so that you can compartmentalise the trauma which you suffered. I am afraid that I will not be able to assist you in returning home, as I believe that you are home. And if by writing me a letter you were asking for a place at Hogwarts, I am afraid that I cannot offer you a place to study with us, as I do not believe that you have sufficient magic left within you, or the correct level of knowledge. Perhaps it is time to entertain the thought of living as a Muggle?"

Bess gawped at Dumbledore.

Dumbledore waited for a moment and then stood. "Again. I apologise. I was hoping that I would be able to help you more, but I cannot."

Bess couldn't put in to words the pain and anguish she felt. Here was the one man she knew would be able to help her – he had contacts throughout the world – knowledge and access to information that no one else possessed save perhaps Voldemort himself. And he was abandoning her in her time of need.

He had called her use of magic an attempt, and was telling her that she should choose to live as a Muggle… In the middle of a wizarding war no less. If I choose that life, two terrible things will occur, she thought to herself. If I live as a Muggle I will be defenceless should the Death Eaters return to finish me off. And what if I need magic to wake myself up and go home? Will I be stuck here forever? No, I can't let this happen. And so she resolved herself to try and convince him otherwise. But how?

"Please, Professor, don't do this!" she cried, standing and moving quickly around the table. Luckily, there weren't too many other people in the café at 10.23am that Thursday morning, so she was able to do so without making too much of a scene.

"Miss Coulson. I am very sorry, but I have said my last on this matter," Dumbledore said, sternly, turning away from her.

Bess understood that this version of Dumbledore – hardened, tired, war-worn – was one which Harry was protected from in the books. The side of him she was seeing now was years in to a fight against a blood purist party with a ruthless leader who would go to any lengths to kill, maim, and torture, often without rhyme or reason. Fighting would be the only way that she could press the matter. The voice at the back of her mind told her to tell him more. Explain more about her circumstances. That he needed to know what she knew for him to trust her. Fight, she told herself.

"Professo-" she called again, with barely controlled annoyance and slight anger in her voice.

But before Bess could even finish the word, she heard a rather loud bang and gasped. Her toffee and apple cheesecake, which had been left in its entirety on the table, exploded.

Before it could splatter out across tables, and over Bess, though, she saw a flash of blue light, and it stopped moving. A stasis charm. Bess turned back to Dumbledore, the colour draining from her face. Her eyes flickered to his hands, and saw him stowing his wand back in his robes. When she looked at his face, it betrayed his shock.

"My god. I'm so sorry. That... that was me, wasn't it?" she asked hesitantly.

"I believe so, Miss Coulson," he replied with a raised eyebrow.

At first worried, Bess had remembered that this kind of thing had occurred to both Harry and Neville before they received their Hogwarts letters, and it gave her an edge in her argument. "I- I- please. If this is happening… if I'm accidentally using magic like this... What will happen if I'm left in the Muggle world with no training? Surely I should have a chance to prove myself? To show that I won't turn into a-" she gulped and stared at Dumbledore.

What seemed like minutes of silence passed as Dumbledore frowned at the cheesecake, still floating in mid-air, before he withdrew his wand again and, with a simple flick, righted the cheesecake so that it once again sat fat and proud on its plate.

"Miss Coulson," said Dumbledore, slowly. "I need you to understand that I have no space for a new student this far in to the academic year. I am also afraid that I would be unable to allow you to join first-year classes, as you are of such an advanced age-"

Bess tried not to scoff at this she was hardly old. However, she could also see his point –she was, in fact, physically five years older than those in the first year of their magical education.

"-however, I do believe that you will need to have some training. The potions that you have been administered should have stopped you from losing control like this." He paused for another long moment, and then said, "I am inclined to offer you some assistance, as I have seen how repressed magic can affect a witch greatly," he said, looking down at her over his half-moon spectacles.

"Wait," Bess said, her mood brightening. "You're giving me a chance?"

Dumbledore pursed his lips. "Of sorts. I will put you in touch with certain tutors who I know will give you a good grounding in-"

Bess shook her head. She knew that no tutor would be able to give her access to the right knowledge to go back to her own world. And, to add to that, where would she have access to more books than her wildest dreams, and some of the brightest witches and wizards who could possibly help her achieve the impossible? Hogwarts. "And if I want to study at Hogwarts," Bess said, firmly. "What do I have to do to be able to do that?"

Dumbledore pursed his lips and paused for a moment. "I do not believe that-"

"Professor, with all due respect, I don't need you to tell me that I can't do this, I need you to tell me how I can."

The corner of his mouth twitched upwards, and Dumbledore tilted his head slightly. He paused for a minute, and then said, "Fine. If you are able to pass your OWLs in June, you will receive a letter to study at Hogwarts beginning in your sixth-year. Does that sound fair?"

Bess knew that she didn't really have a choice in the matter, but appreciated the gesture nonetheless. She nodded. "Yes, Professor. Thank you. But… I know that the OWLs are very hard... what if I don't-"

"Miss Coulson… Daphne… If you are truly serious about remaining in the wizarding world, it is not a question of if you will pass them, as much as with what grades? If you do want to study at a Wizarding school, you will need to prove yourself."

xXx

Lying in her bed, Bess stared at the incredibly white ceiling and thought about her next steps. Before he'd left, Dumbledore had given her a short list of the OWL's which he expected her to achieve a passing grade in. His requirements were that she be able to get at least acceptable (a passing grade) in...

Transfiguration

Charms

Defence Against the Dark Arts

Potions

Herbology

And History of Magic, if I can manage to add it in, Bess thought to herself glumly.

She knew that these were the top five (or six) subjects which most students would be taking on to NEWT level, and passing these would give her a firm grounding in the subjects, and in magic.

However, she knew that the only class which she was sure she would be able to cram and pass with an exceeds expectations would be History of Magic, as her university degree and years of muggle history had prepared her for such written exams. An that was her optional extra! The others, she would aim for an exceeds, but there was a strong chance she would fall short. And, if she did, she may not be able to study them at NEWT level if she got to study at Hogwarts. But you won't want to stay here for that long anyway, the voice in the back of her head reasoned.

Bess sighed. What worried her the most was the sheer amount of work she'd need to put in to not only catch up mentally, but also magically, enough to pass the main five subjects, since they had both theory and practical assessments.

She had been quite relieved when he had only required her to take five subjects – she remembered that Harry and his year group had revised like crazy in order to sit their exams, pulling all-nighters, testing each other to exhaustion, and even drinking calming draughts to ease anxiety.

And they had the might of the teaching staff of Hogwarts behind them. She on the other hand, was on her own, and with only a few months to learn and revise. The only thing keeping her from giving up already was the sheer desperation she felt. She wanted to get of this hospital... and go home.

Bess rolled on to her front and groaned in to her pillow. I really need a wand, she thought, miserably.

Chapter Text

After her chat with Dumbledore, Bess had mentioned to the main ward Healers that she had a rather unique opportunity to study at Hogwarts if she passed her OWLs, and they had, one by one, popped over for a quick chat.

By the end of the weekend, she had had endless cups of tea as she listened to Healers reminisce about their time in the castle, and had been offered assistance with exam preparations should she need it.

She had taken each and every one of them up on their offers of help, and spent her days preparing mentally as much as possible for her life outside of the hospital while the Healers monitored her physical recovery.

The Healers had even drawn up a little 'study' timetable for themselves so that they could pop over at the end of a shift, during their lunch breaks, or when the ward was quiet, and give her quick fifteen minute tutorials.

They seemed to have taken her completely under their wing, and Bess was incredibly grateful for their support.

They had, Healer Fenrose let slip one morning, been so sure that she wouldn't survive her assault that seeing her now working so hard to try and catch up had touched all of their hearts.

Most had explained to her that, as their expertise was in Healing of course, they would generally only be able to teach her more about Herbology, Transfiguration, Charms and Potions but she hadn't minded at all, and assured them that any help was incredible.

She spent her days reading and reviewing notes on the theory of spells, learning about practical applications of plants, reviewing lists of potions ingredients and learning the theory behind potions, and studiously copying down incantations and wand movements in her little notebook (which had been magically expanded for her by Healer Drugal, the lovely young witch who had also allowed her to borrow her copy of A History of Magic).

By the beginning of April, Bess had finished all books in the series of A Standard Book of Spells, and had read the entirety of A History of Magic, which taught her magical histories up to the 19th Century.

Thanks in part to the Healers' suggestions, she also had a long list of new books to read once she could visit Flourish and Blott's.

It was due to this full and exciting new timetable of study that Bess barely noticed as four weeks passed her and she moved slowly towards being discharged from the hospital.

It was only during the evening of Monday 5th April, that it really hit Bess that not only was she in the world of Harry Potter, but also that she was now... on her own.

It had felt like she was just popping down the road for a few minutes and would see the Healers soon as she hugged them goodbye and waved to the other patients on the ward. It had felt like she was saying bye for now to an old friend as Healer Fenrose had walked her to the large entranceway where she met Jasper and Delbert who had walked her to the Leaky Cauldron. It had felt exciting when they had checked her in for one week and, after explaining that an undercover Auror would be stationed at the pub to make sure she was safe, left her in her room.

And so it only hit her exactly four hours and forty-five minutes after she had been discharged.

As Bess had arrived at the pub after the shops had shut, there was no need for her to leave her room apart from going down for dinner, but, as she had had a rather large belgian bun when she had arrived, she wasn't particularly hungry.

So, like any other person who had been refused sight of themselves for over 13 weeks, she decided to have a bath and then... look in the mirror.

That is what made her feel alone, vulnerable, and scared.

In her own world, Bess had had light brown skin which tanned easily in the summer, a rosiness to her cheeks, and freckles on her arms. She had had slight roundness to her waist, hips and thighs.

Here, she was still mixed race, but her brown skin was paler and had a greyness to it, as if she was sick. Her rosy cheeks were sullen and pale. Although she retained her natural hourglass figure, she had definitely dropped a few dress sizes, and she could now see her ribs.

Her legs, which had been muscular from long walks and the occasional run, were now thinner, lacking in muscle.

Her face, which, after years of awkward phases - braces, spots, needing to grow in to her nose and cheekbones... had been... pretty by the age of 20 (though she thought it might be vain to think herself beautiful, she knew that she wasn't ugly, and had had a few acquaintances at her time at university as a result). Luckily, it seemed she had just missed this awkward teenage stage as the face which looked back at her was blemish free, with no braces, and her nose was almost the right size for her face.

At 16, she had only just had a growth spurt to 5'10, and so had been expecting to look in the mirror and see an awkward, gangly teenager - not a thin, sick looking teenager.

She had retained her height, but had to remind herself to stand up straight as she looked in the mirror - her body was too used to being stooped over books again but, as her back didn't have the same strength as in her world, her shoulders were rounding.

I guess that's what happens when you barely eat for 14 weeks, she thought to herself, glumly, as she took in a deep breath and cocked her head to the side. A side effect of the calming draught had been a reduction in appetite, and the results were jarring.

Her hair, which she had learnt to was, condition and dry in the correct way to retain her curls was a mess on top of her head from where she'd pulled it into a bun every day for weeks. She'd managed to brush it out every week and have it washed, but the frizzy mess was not what she was used to.

Her eyes, a deep brown with an almost black ring on the outside with flecks of gold swirling around the iris, were the same.

But what really stood out, what she really couldn't stop staring at, were her scars.

She had assumed that she just had two - the word etched in to her left forearm, and the long knife wound down her right arm. She had been wrong.

On her belly, just above her navel, she had a line which travelled down and across, on to her hip. When she moved her right hand to touch the line, she realised that it was a continuation of the one on her arm - someone had slashed her and she'd used her arm to try and protect her body.

On her back, she had a few burn marks, dotted here and there, which were barely the size of a cigarette butt. At first she thought that's what the marks were from, until she realised with a gasp, that they could also have come from the tip of a wand.

Bess hadn't realised how much she had been relying on calming draughts until that moment. As she sank to the ground with her face in her hands, it finally, truly, sunk in that she wasn't safe here, and that she was vulnerable.

Sobbing, she opened her mouth and let out a heartbroken yell... and another... and another.

She yelled and sobbed and punched the walls, floor and bed.

She threw her bag at the wall.

She broke the tea set which had followed her upstairs when she had checked in.

She ripped the curtains off the bed.

If she thought anyone would come to check on her when they heard her yells, she was mistaken - no one did - and so, after her tirade, she stood naked in the middle of the room, surveying the destruction.

She slowly breathed in, and out... in and out... repeating the counts of four and eight in her head as she had done upon waking in this world.

Finally, after at least five minutes, she returned to the mirror, took a deep breath, wiped her tears from her face, and calmly got dressed.

She cleared up the room without magic, put the teapot (now a pile of china) back on to its tray and deposited it outside her door for collection, and then crawled in to bed, where she stayed for three days.

xXx

Bess awoke to a loud banging on the door.

What time is it? She wondered, as she dragged herself from the bed and stumbled across to the door, grateful that she was now wearing an oversized quidditch t-shirt and some shorts which she'd been given in a small bag of clothes from Healer Drugal, who had donated some of her own, and her boyfriend's, old clothes to Bess a few days previously.

"You can't wear your hospital robes outside here!" She'd said sternly as she shoved the bag of clothes at Bess.

Looking through the peephole, she saw Auror Jasper Serpen standing there, a worried look on his face.

"Morning..." She said, opening the door.

"Afternoon more like!" Came the reply.

"Sorry... afternoon," she said, with a grimace.

"I've just been told that you've not moved from this room since we left you! Are you alright? What's going on?" He asked, trying to look around her into the room, a frown etched on his face.

"I'm... I'm fine," she muttered, and when he didn't look convinced, she continued, "I just- honestly? I looked in the mirror and... well I saw the rest of my scars. I- I just- I needed some time."

"Ah shit... Yeah... That'd do it," he said, a sad smile appearing on his face. Pausing, he looked around as if he didn't know what to say. "But... you're a survivor. Remember that," he whispered, "and... well... Del always says 'up and at 'em' so... Yeah," he straightened and looked in to her eyes. "Up and at 'em, Coulson."

Bess could have laughed at his attempt at positivity, but she didn't. She knew how hard her situation was hitting Jasper and Delbert.

They felt responsible for her since the day they'd visited her in the hospital, when she'd screamed "OH MY GOD" over and over.

As they walked her round to the Leaky Cauldron they'd explained how hard her situation had hit them.

They'd had sleepless nights, they'd tried and failed to find the people who did this to her and her family, and they had felt a little lost, not knowing what to do next.

So Jasper had used humour to try and lighten their mental and emotional loads, while Delbert had become angry and gruff. Jasper had apologised if he'd overstepped the mark when they first met her with his joking, and Delbert had apologised for being too firm. She assured them that they hadn't done anything wrong.

In fact, she had no idea how they'd managed to talk to her that day, having seen and heard what they had.

They had then explained that they'd been given permission to make sure she was safe from now on... Well, as far as they were able to.

And so they'd arranged for her house to be sold to Gringotts for a below market fee, but with the gold being transferred to an account that she could access instantly. They'd said this was best for her situation.

They'd also insisted on checking in on her every week, and would owl her if, or as they said, when, she got to Hogwarts.

"Yeah... Up and at 'em," she whispered in reply.

Jasper cleared his throat and stepped back, a smile appearing on his face.

"Look, honestly, I only came to see if you were dead or not," he said with laugh that Bess echoed - she appreciated the young wizard's humour. "But now I've found you're still alive, I've got to get back and tell Del the bad news," he laughed as she scoffed. "But I'll check in on you on Monday, like we said? Del'll come then too," he added sincerely, walking backwards.

When Bess nodded, he turned around to walk away. He was almost at the stairs when she spoke again.

"Hey, Jasper?" She called, leaning slightly out of the doorway to peer down the corridor.

"Yeah?" He asked, turning around to face her, with his hands in his pockets.

"Thanks." She said, sending him a little smile.

"Anytime," he replied, grinning, before turning on the spot and disappearing with a pop.

Sighing, Bess walked back in to her room, shut the door, and went to the bathroom for a shower.

Jasper was right. She needed to get up and out, and, as it was only 12.30pm, she had plenty of time to have a quick bite to eat before heading to Diagon Alley.

xXx

As she still didn't have a wand, Bess needed Matthew, the current bartender, to open the entrance to Diagon Alley for her.

After her lunch - a beef and ale pie which sat heavily in her stomach, washed down with a large glass of pumpkin juice - she'd spent the best part of fifteen minutes working up the courage to ask him for assistance as she was worried someone would overhear and realise that she was a muggle-born.

In the end, there was nothing to worry about - Matthew led her to the courtyard behind the pub, grumbling loudly about young witches and wizards always having trouble with the gateway when their parents aren't there to help them. He withdrew his wand and counted the bricks, as Bess thought of the Diagon Alley of her dreams.

She'd imagined that it would be packed with witches and wizards, that there would be shops' products bursting out on to the cobbled street. That she'd be assaulted by noise - that she'd hear people talking, singing, the beat of music from one shop while the hoots of owls and meows of cats came from another. She thought that the alley would be bursting with light and energy.

Instead, as the bricks moved out of the way, she was met with a rather drab scene.

Some of the shops were boarded up and people hurried past, looking over their shoulders. Ahead of her a couple of witches stood outside the apothecary, arguing with the shopkeeper about the new price of bat's spleens.

"That's an increase of over a knut per hundred grams! Ridiculous!"

As she stepped forwards on to the cobbles, she breathed in deeply and immediately regretted it. Instead of a pleasant aroma, she could only smell burning. Looking to her right, she saw a large plume of smoke coming from a building a little ways away.

"Well, go on then! You don't wanna 'ang about these days. At least not 'til the summer!"

"Is it always like this?" She asked, hesitantly, knowing that Matthew would cotton on to the fact that she didn't frequent the alley regularly.

He gave her a confused look, so she quickly added-

"I haven't been here in a while - I went travelling for a year."

"Ah- well, yes," he said, nodding and rubbing his chin. "Been like this for a while now... After they got ol' Haflin Jones at Christmas, half the bleedin' alley's gone, an' the patrons too!" He spat out. "I'm sure it'll be better when the students come back though."

"W-what happened to him?" She asked, quietly. She had been attacked at the start of the year. Could the attacks have been... celebrations of the holidays...?

"No idea. One day he was 'ere, one day he was gone. Taken almos' three months for 'em to get his bleedin' shop to stop blowin' up every few days an' all!" He said, with a jerk of the thumb towards the still smoking shop. "Anyway - you 'eadin' in there or what?" He asked.

Bess apologised for the hold up and walked further in to the alley. As the wall rebuilt itself behind her, she steeled herself. If she had thought this would be a pleasurable experience, she had been sorely mistaken. She would have to get in, and out, very quickly.

She could already feel the tension rising within her, her palms and underarms beginning to sweat, and her heartbeat and breathing quicken.

"Turn left and up seven shops..." she muttered to herself as she began to walk, remembering Delbert and Jasper's instructions, and smiled as she came up to Flourish and Blott's.

After a long time spent perusing the shelves, Bess bought a very, very large number of books using the rather large bag of gold galleons she'd been given by Delbert as she checked in to her room.

"It's too dangerous for you to get money out alone at the moment. Especially with a new account," he'd said as he handed it over.

In fact, she'd bought so many books that the sales assistant had practically fallen over himself to help her. As he wrapped up the books which they had in stock, he'd explained this was the biggest book order they'd had in a month, and offered to have the ones he was wrapping sent to her room at the Leaky Cauldron.

"Next week will be busier for us, so I'll have to get you to come in to collect the others," he'd said, with an apologetic smile on his face.

Since she still had things to buy, she gave him her room number and then headed down to Slug and Jiggers Apothecary, side stepping the still arguing witches outside who were now complaining about the increase in the price of leeches.

There, she bought a potion kit bag, a general potion-making kit, and a whole host of disgusting supplies like eel eyes, lionfish spines, bat spleens, merlap tentacles, and pond slime...

Nipping in to the shop next door, Potage's Cauldrons, she grabbed a pewter standard size 2 cauldron and some scales, before heading over to Amanuensis Quills where she got a little too excited by the stationery on offer and bought five new quills, a large pot of black ink, a new notebook, and a large wad of self-blotting parchment.

She then skipped a fair few shops, seeing no need for a broom, a familiar (owl, toad or rat), or new robes (for now at least. She was hoping to go clothes shopping in muggle London soon).

xXx

At last, she found herself standing outside Ollivander's wand shop.

She took a moment to stare up at the peeling gold letters of the shop sign which read Ollivanders: Makers of Fine Wands since 382 B. C.

For the first time, she felt like she was standing in Harry's footsteps. Even though he won't be born for another few years, she thought to herself with a small chuckle.

To tell the truth, she'd been putting off buying her wand even though she wanted, and needed, one desperately.

Garrick Ollivander was one of her favourite characters in the books - he had an authority and knowledge which terrified and excited her at the same time, and she thought that that, combined with buying her wand, may overwhelm her.

She was also acutely aware that Daphne had been here before - she had purchased her wand here, and she might be remembered by the older wizard.

Steeling herself for the second time that day, she moved forward and grasped the round door handle, turning it quickly.

Pushing the door open, she peered in to the old, dusty room which, just as Harry had described, contained thousands of boxes and one solitary chair.

She stepped inside and closed the door behind her, hearing a soft bell ringing as she did so.

"Ah, hello! Back again are we?" came a voice from within the bowels of the shop.

"Yes," she called out, wondering where the wizard was. "I've come to buy a new wand."

"What happened to your last? Cypress, thirteen inches, dragon heartstring, wasn't it?" He asked, finally stepping in to the shop.

Bess could see how an eleven year old Harry would be intimidated by the man - he had wide pale eyes which shone out of the darkness of the shop, captivating her with his gaze.

"Uh- I- I-" she stammered. How was she meant to tell him she didn't remember her wand?

"Ah- but something tells me you don't know that..." he said, slowly, frowning at her. "Well, come, come, I dare say it's time to find you a new one, don't you?"

Bess nodded and walked over to his side as he surveyed the piles of wands and rubbed his hands together. She had to crane her neck to look at all of the wand boxes, and even then, she was sure there were more stuffed somewhere.

"Ah yes. Try this one. Almost exactly the same qualities as your last wand..." he said eagerly, stooping down to rummage in a box by their feet.

He stood quickly and produced a box, and out of the box, a long wand.

Bess, picking up the dark wand, felt nothing. As she waved the wand, nothing happened.

Soon, it was shoved back in its box and another took its place in her grasp.

Again and again, wands were put in to her hand, but taken back almost instantly. Either nothing happened, something caught alight, smashed, or, curiously, turned to jelly.

Finally, just as Bess began to entertain the idea of going home and coming back another day, Ollivander held up a finger and stared deep in to the stack of boxes.

"This... this is a possibility... So different from your other wand..." he mumbled to himself as he wandered even deeper in to the shop. "Vine, eleven and a half inches, unicorn hair... Yes, try this one."

Taking the wand from the box, Bess immediately knew something was different.

As she touched it, she felt a warmth pass through her arm, running up to the very top of her head and all the way down to the tips of her toes.

Finding it hard not to tear up, Bess realised that the light wood, which felt heavy and light in her hand, made her feel safe, comforted and, worryingly, like she was home.

"Lumos," she whispered, repeating the movement she had practiced with her hairbrush.

A bright light shone from the tip of her wand, illuminating the room.

"Nox," she said with more conviction this time, the light disappearing as quickly as it had come.

"Ah yes!" came Ollivander's voice from beside her, shaking her out of her moment of wonder. "A much better fit for you now."

"I'm sorry? Why's it a better fit?" She asked, as he handed her the box.

"Your last wand... made of Cypress... my ancestor believed that the wielder of a Cypress wand would die a heroic death..." he said, rubbing his hands together again and staring at her. "And yet here you stand, ready to buy another."

Bess' eyes widened.

"And what does Vine wood mean?" She asked, curiously as the old wizard began to put his other wands back in their places - at least 26 wands lay in or out of their boxes on the counter.

"A more uncommon wood... not rare though... for witches and wizards who seek... a greater purpose," he said, turning his gaze upon her once more.

Did he know that she wasn't from this world? Is that why he thought that wand would suit her? No, she thought to herself, he can't know any of that, you dolt!

"H-how much do I owe you?" she asked quietly.

"A less common wood, a dearer price, I'm afraid! This particular wand will cost you six galleons," he said, walking towards the register.

Bess frowned, thinking that Harry's wand cost seven, until she remembered that his was bought over twenty years later, of course the price would have gone up!

She dug in to her considerably lighter money bag and counted out six gold coins before handing them over to the older wizard.

"H-have a good day, sir," she stammered as she exited the shop.

"And you," came the reply.

Bess stretched out her back for a second, taking in a deep breath of air (which still smelt like burning), and began to walk back towards the Leaky Cauldron, excited to try out some of the spells she'd been practicing.

Fortunately, although the trace was still on her, she was staying in a wizarding pub and so, she reasoned, they wouldn't know it was her casting spells, and not another patron.

Well, she had every intention of going straight back, until she saw Sugarplum's Sweets Shop ahead of her.

She stopped and looked in to the window, seeing piles and stacks of chocolates and sweets - chocolate frogs, cauldron cakes, pumpkin pasties, fizzing whizbees.

Maybe one more stop...

Chapter Text

Bess used the next few days to get in to a little routine - breakfast by 9am, back to her room for studying and/or spells and potions practice, lunch by 1pm, and then off out to muggle London to explore, before coming back to read magazines and comics, dinner by 7.30pm and then bed by 10pm.

This was all helped immensely by no longer having a mobile phone, and therefore no access to the internet to distract her.

She had already managed to get a little more colour in to her cheeks and her skin had almost lost its greyness.

The side effects of the calming draught - tiredness, lack of appetite, and the feeling of floating on a cloud, were now gone and Bess found that not only were they suppressing her anxiety, panics and low mood, but also her happiness, love of life and ability to laugh at the little things.

(She was also making up for lost time by eating everything she could lay her hands on.)

On Sunday, Bess was eating a rather large bacon sandwich when Matthew walked over to her with a letter in his hand.

She'd paid for another two weeks accommodation just that morning and upgraded to the package which included use of the pub owls for one galleon.

A rather large price to pay considering her room was only 10 galleons for the fortnight and included meals, but she thought it would save her some time - not having to go in to Diagon Alley every time she wanted to send a letter.

Oh, who was she kidding? It was all part of the experience!

She'd already taken advantage of the owl by sending a quick letter to Delbert, which read:

Delbert,

How do I take out Muggle money? I want to buy some clothes - it's getting ridiculous.

Daphne

She thought that he would appreciate her getting straight to the point. She had yet to receive a reply and was hopeful that this was from him.

Taking the letter from Matthew with a quick 'thanks' as he stalked off again, she opened it to find it was not from Delbert but a note from Flourish and Blott's. The last of the books she had bought had arrived in store - she could pick them up at any time.

Smiling to herself as she finished her sandwich and drained her goblet of elder-flower wine, "a Sunday treat" she'd told herself, she returned her plate and goblet to the old barmaid, Sasha.

Bess was glad when she'd realised that the workers at the pub assumed she was older than 16 since she had checked in to the pub alone and during term time, as it meant she could order whatever she wanted and no one would bat an eyelid.

She felt slightly light-headed from the wine as she climbed the stairs to grab her jean jacket, but it was a quick trip over to the bookshop so she didn't think about it too much. Alcohol had always had that effect on her - giving her false confidence.

As she entered the alley, she was taken aback to find it busier than she'd ever seen it.

Teenagers, she thought to herself as her mouth dropped open. Of course! Easter!

She mentally slapped herself for forgetting - Easter break meant that Hogwarts students were allowed home for two weeks! This must have been what Matthew meant when he said that the shops would be packed with students soon.

All the more reason to get her book now, she reasoned, as she strode up the road grateful again for the second-hand dress she was wearing.

It wasn't her usual style - a deep green, fitted at the top with long sleeves and a white collar, it flowed out at the bottom. As she was a lot taller than the five foot four Healer Drugal, however, she had worn shorts underneath it to make sure she retained her modesty as it only came to her mid-thigh.

This was part of the reason why Bess was very eager to buy some of her own muggle clothes - she much preferred jeans.

As she walked up the street she passed giggling girls staring at the latest heartthrob on the cover of Witch Weekly, awestruck children ogling the latest broom in the window of Quality Quidditch Supplies, and groups of students huddled around the entrance to a robe shop.

She couldn't stop the smile which came over her face - she was, after all, tipsy on both wine, and the fact that this was the Diagon Alley she'd imagined in her head.

As she passed a group of boys standing outside what looked like a junk shop, one of the group pushed another and he almost fell on top of her.

She stumbled, just managing not to fall over, and her hand instinctively went to her wand as the smile dropped from her face.

"Sorry about that!" came a breathless voice as the boy who'd been shoved in to her righted himself.

"That's fine. Just... try to look where you're going next time, yeah?" she replied, standing up straight, putting a nervous hand into her mass of curly hair and tucking her wand back in her pocket.

The young man had sandy coloured hair and was tall, around six foot one. He was quite handsome, but as he was definitely younger than her she felt a bit weird thinking that he was attractive.

However, she didn't manage to get a proper look at him before-

"Yeah Moony! Look where you're going!" a laughing voice called from over the young man's shoulder.

Bess gulped and tried not to react. In front of her stood... Remus Lupin. As she stared at him, she realised that he had a few scars across his face which looked both old and new at the same time. He looked over his shoulder at his friends, smiled, and rolled his eyes.

Before he could do anything other than flip them off, another voice rang out.

"Boys! Stop it! Merlin. I leave you alone for one second!" an older, frail looking witch scolded as she joined the group.

Although the witch was glaring, Bess could tell from the wrinkles around the woman's mouth and eyes that she had spent a life filled with laughter.

Turning to Bess, the older witch smiled sweetly and adopted a more caring tone of voice, "Sorry my dear. My boys can be a bit... unruly. Are you alright?"

Bess was jolted out of her reverie. If this was Remus, then the two dark haired boys, who were still laughing, must be James Potter and Sirius Black.

Which meant that the woman in front of her was none other than Euphemia Potter. Bess tried not to think about the fact that she wouldn't live to see her grandson born in just a few years time.

"That's alright, really. I- uh- I should be going," she said, before pulling her jacket tight around her torso and crossing her arms across her waist.

She didn't know why, but meeting the Marauders like this was the last thing she'd expected, and she suddenly felt incredibly shy - she didn't want to stand and talk, she wanted to go and get her book and head back to the warmth and safety of her bedroom.

Hurrying off despite hearing a, "Hey, wait" behind her, she ducked in to Flourish and Blott's and managed to find a dark corner to catch her breath.

It was one thing thinking about being in the same world as these characters, but it was another to meet them.

At that moment Bess finally understood why she was so intent on learning magic.

The main reason was, and would always be, that she wanted to go home.

But the secondary, and only slightly inferior reason, was that if there was any chance that while she was in this world she could save the Marauders... save Lily... save Harry... save Fred... Well... she had to do it, right?

And it had already been months, hadn't it? She was no closer to finding out how to wake up from this very real feeling dream.

Oh god, she thought. What am I going to do? She threw her head back with a groan, and winced immediately. As she was still a little tipsy, she'd used a little too much force and hit the bookshelf behind her hard.

She felt a second pain on the top of her head and heard a dull thud as a book fell off the shelf above her, landed on her head and then fell to the floor.

With a low moan which sounded a lot like, "Ah fuck", turned around rubbing her head and stared down at the offending book. Sighing, she reached down to grab the heavier-than-it-looked tome.

She realised too late that someone else had the same idea.

"Quidditch Through the Ages?" asked Remus, as he picked it up.

"I- uh- it just hit me on the head..." she replied, mentally rolling her eyes.

Why? Why do you always need to say stupid things? she asked herself.

"Prone to bumping into things, are you?" he asked, chuckling.

Bess couldn't help but smile. He was just as she'd imagined - quiet, unassuming... funny...

"Not normally," she admitted. "But apparently today I'm plagued by having 'b's hit me - boys... books... I wonder what'll be next..." she said thoughtfully, twirling an invisible beard.

Her playfulness had the desired effect and Remus' cheeks stained with a rosy blush.

"Sorry again about that..." he replied, looking down. When she rolled her eyes and waved him off, he continued. "Well, uh- do you mind if I buy this copy then? My friend's been complaining that someone threw his version down the toilet..."

"Well, did they?" she asked, as they began to walk towards the front of the shop.

Bess put her hands in her pockets. She was still quite nervous to be talking to him and had no idea what to do with her hands which had begun to sweat. She was also very happy she'd put on a jacket as she was sure her armpits were sweating as well.

"Uh- yes... someone did, but also someone is a massive tight-arse and thinks it's funny to ruin people's books and then not replace them..." he said the last bit much louder than needed as he cocked an eyebrow and looked at someone ahead of him.

Bess followed his gaze and looked up to see Sirius Black in front of them... if she'd thought Remus was handsome, she didn't know what words to describe him.

In Diagon Alley she'd been able to glance over him and focus on other people but now...

His features were, as Harry had described, aristocratic - a strong jaw and nose, and cheekbones to die for.

She thought that his hair would be longer than it was - it was long, yes, falling in to his eyes at the front, but didn't reach his shoulders yet. Maybe he only kept it longer post-Hogwarts?

"Don't know that you're talking about mate. We all know it was Peter!" Sirius replied with a smirk as they stopped in front of him.

Bess managed to school her features by the time his gaze left Remus' and sought hers, applying a rather indifferent expression in the pretence that she hadn't been staring.

She gave herself a mental high five when she didn't falter under his piercing grey gaze.

"And who is this?" he asked, a half smile coming across his face.

Jesus. You literally just shoved your friend into me and you've already forgotten me? Such a prick! She thought to herself as she rolled her eyes at him. It was only as she registered his slack jaw, Remus' wide eyes, and heard James' peal of laughter that she realised she'd not said it in her head.

In fact, she'd said, "Jesus, what a prick," and then rolled her eyes.

Opening and closing her mouth like a fish, she tried to think of what to say. This really wasn't how she thought she'd meet them but at the same time she was oddly proud that she'd managed to stand up for herself, even though she was now equally worried that he might hex her.

When she couldn't think of anything to say she simply turned to Remus and said "see you later," before walking off to the collections counter.

As she was being served she could hear James ripping in to Sirius, imitating an announcer of a match.

"And Sirius Black shoots, and... oh! He falls short of the goal posts!"

"Yeah, whatever, she's not that fit."

"Then why did we have to 'pop' in here?" James asked. She only knew it was him because he was the one who'd called to Moony outside the junk shop.

"Merlin, Remus, you're seriously going to buy James a replacement? You know he's got it memori-" came the reply, glossing over what James had said.

Bess tuned out the rest of their conversation. She couldn't help but purse her lips as she looked down at the floor - she suddenly felt like she was back in secondary school where she'd been bullied for her looks.

She knew she didn't look too great at that moment, but she didn't look bad per say.

She also knew that he was just hitting back as she'd called him a prick, and that she was taking it worse because she was still tipsy, but the words uttered by one of her favourite literary characters still consumed her the following morning.

xXx

Delbert and Jasper, the two Aurors assigned to her case, had come to check on her after their shift as promised and they were all enjoying drinks in front of a fire in her draughty room.

When they'd arrived, they'd apologised for not having anything to update her on - they were still hitting a dead end with finding out who had attacked her and her family - but Bess wasn't too surprised - she knew that it wouldn't be until after the first war had ended that anyone would see any real justice for the crimes of Death Eaters.

She'd declined to hear more about the case and about what they knew of her parents in this world and had instead moved the conversation to a less heavy topic.

She just didn't think she could handle that right now.

"Well he's a dick, ain't he?" Jasper said indignantly, after she'd recounted what had happened in the bookshop, though she didn't say who had said it. She had also completely forgotten what James had said. "Ain't he, Del?"

Delbert nodded along with Jasper and took another sip of his beer. Jasper had gone for a large cider, Delbert for a specialty beer, and Bess had been dismayed when they simply laughed and changed her red wine order to a butterbeer with a, "You're too young to drink, remember!"

She thought she shouldn't mention the glass she'd had yesterday.

"Must be absolutely blind! You're beautiful inside and out," Jasper continued.

Bess couldn't help but blush. She knew that that he was simply trying to make her feel better, but she was still enamoured with his compliment.

"Thank you. You're too kind to me," she replied, ducking her head and sipping her butterbeer.

She didn't miss the pointed look Delbert gave to Jasper, nor the, "She's sixteen," he mouthed at the younger wizard. Jasper simply shrugged his shoulders, looked away for a moment, and then looked back with a slight blush on his cheeks as well.

"Sorry... I didn't mean it like that. It's just- you remind me of my sister... and she needs to be reminded that she's lovely a lot as well..." Jasper trailed off as she reached across the table to squeeze his hand quickly.

"Thank you. Really," she said with a smile, taking back her hand and leaning back in her chair.

"So how're you getting on with your work then?" asked the older wizard, changing the subject.

"Fine I think," Bess said. "I'm finding it tough in parts, especially not being able to just ask people for help. I keep trying to turn a goblet into a rat but I honestly just can't work out how to do it. The closest I've got is a goblet with legs but it ran off and I still can't find it!"

As she'd been talking, Delbert and Jasper had both chuckled, then laughed, and were now guffawing at her, as though her plight was the funniest thing in the world.

Once their laughter had dissipated, she continued, "I think it might be in my bed. I felt something move against my leg the other day. I had to sleep on the armchair."

They descended into hysterics as Bess pursed her lips, trying not to laugh along with them. It was a ridiculous situation.

A few minutes later, they'd recovered from their continued laughter enough to show her where she'd been going wrong and to give her a few pointers. They both beamed as she did a victory dance after managing to turn her goblet in to a rat and then laughed as she squealed and jumped on the bed when she realised what she'd done - Bess hated rats.

By the time they left only thirty minutes later, the rat a goblet once more, Bess was in a much better mood from their company. She fell asleep with a large smile on her face that night.

xXx

For the next two weeks, Bess managed to avoid Diagon Alley just in case she bumped in to any more students. As much as she was enjoying the world, she didn't want to get caught up in getting to know characters just in case she failed her exams and was unable to attend Hogwarts.

She had taken to going out to muggle London even more than before, and was just returning to the pub after a rather successful clothing shop trip.

When he'd received her letter asking for Muggle money, Delbert had sent Jasper down to Gringotts for her and she received a large purse filled with bank notes and coins. She had laughed as Jasper moaned and groaned about Delbert ordering him around. Apparently he was trying to have a quick nap when he'd been rudely interrupted.

Delbert later whispered to her that he was actually studying an unsolved case file and he had thought Jasper needed a bit of a break.

"Ah, there you are!"

Bess was just stepping through the door to the near-empty pub when she heard Matthew's voice ring out.

"Someone's here to see yeh," he called, "sent 'im up to yer room."

Bess tried not to grimace.

For one, her room was a bit of a mess at the moment - for all her good intentions, her daily routine had changed somewhat and she'd spent a few hours the previous night practicing spells and eating sweets - the evidence of which still lay on and around her bed.

The second reason for her grimace? Who was in her room?

If it had been the Aurors, Matthew would have told her.

Taking a deep breath, she nodded to Matthew before walking upstairs and opening her door.

"Ah, Miss Coulson," came Dumbledore's voice from inside the room.

As the door swung open, Bess' eyes widened. Either the cleaners had been, or Dumbledore had taken it upon himself to tidy up, as her books were back in the right places, her sweet wrappers were gone, and her potions kit was arranged neatly on the table, her potion still bubbling away in its cauldron.

"Draught of Peace?" he asked, peering in to the small cauldron in front of him.

"Uh- yes, Professor," she managed to splutter as she moved in to the room, put down her bags, and closed the door.

"An excellent brew by the looks of things."

"Thank you. Perks of having Healers for teachers," she replied sheepishly, "though I'm having difficulty with the theory part of it all - I can't really get my head around Golpalott's Third Law..." she trailed off.

"That won't be covered until your sixth-year, Miss Coulson," he said, appraising her.

"True, but it'll help me understand how to brew antidotes, which will be covered on the first half of the exam..."

"Oh?"

"I sent off for the past ten years' exam papers..." Bess replied. She'd learnt that trick from her education - look at the past five or ten years' exam papers and see what trends come up in the questions. Then you'll know what you'll definitely need to learn and what might not come up.

"Of course you did," he said, turning to her, a twinkle in his eye.

If Bess hadn't known that he had a changeable attitude, she would have thought she was talking to an imposter. Gone was the tight lipped Dumbledore, and here was the happy Dumbledore that Harry had described.

"Sorry, Professor, but what are you doing here?" she asked, moving to sit down at the table. Dumbledore joined her.

"I've come to talk to you about your OWLs," he said, looking over his half-moon spectacles at her. "I must admit, I originally came here to talk you out of taking the exams, but then I came across your cauldron, and... I had a look in your notebook," he admitted with a wave towards her open book on the table.

"And now?"

"Now..." Dumbledore said. "Now I believe that there is a chance you will prove me wrong, Miss Coulson."

"Really?"

"Really. I cannot say that you will get all of the grades you need, but I have seen care, attention to detail, and most importantly, hope in this room."

Bess didn't know what to say.

"Would you be able to demonstrate a few spells for me?" Dumbledore asked quietly.

"Of course," Bess replied, taking out her wand.

Over the next two hours, Dumbledore tested Bess on spells ranging from defensive magic - Bess was excited to demonstrate the Twitchy-Ears Hex and was surprised when Dumbledore let her use it on him - to transformation spells like evanesco, and charms like engorgio.

If she didn't know how to do a spell, Dumbledore was gracious in allowing her to look it up and demonstrate her attempts, before they moved on.

Bess found herself struggling at times, but was intent on proving herself to the old wizard.

"-and that ended the Goblin Revolution of 1612," Bess finished, sitting back in her chair.

"Bravo, Miss Coulson. From what I've seen, I'd be happy for you to sit your exams this summer. You will have to travel to the castle to take the exams, but I'll arrange for you to stay in Hogsmeade," Dumbledore said, standing.

"Wait! What? You're saying I'm ready?"

"No, Miss Coulson. I'm saying that you have potential, and that if you continue to put in a fair amount of work, I now believe that you will achieve at least an Acceptable in your subjects."

"Is that what I'll need to study them at NEWT level?" she asked, pretending she didn't know that you needed at least an exceeds expectations in most classes to continue on to NEWT level.

"Unfortunately not, but I am sure that you will manage higher in at least two of your classes. However, your attendance at the school will depend on this - if you do not manage two subjects at least, I will be unable to allow you to study with us," he said, turning when he reached the door.

"I'll try my best, Professor," Bess implored, standing to face him as he opened the door behind him.

"Good," he replied, nodding at her before sweeping from the room and closing the door.

Exhausted from casting more spells and recalling more information than she had ever done before, Bess locked the door, tore off her dress, crawled in to her bed and promptly fell asleep.

Chapter Text

It was now the last weekend of May, and Bess had arrived in Hogsmeade.

Her belongings had been sent via floo to the Scottish town whereas she had decided to take the Knight Bus.

She had regretted her decision very quickly as her shoulders and arms ached from the effort of holding on to the pole in front of her as the seats and tables flew about every time the triple-decker purple bus stopped. And between the Leaky Cauldron and Hogsmeade... there had been a great many stops.

Finally, just over six hours after she'd boarded the bus, she was dropped off at Hogsmeade station just after 1pm and given walking directions to the Three Broomsticks.

She'd decided to stay for three weeks - arriving just over a week before her first exam would take place - so that she could familiarise herself with the town and get settled in.

As she walked in the sunshine she thought about her OWLs.

The last month had been filled with practice papers, identifying plants and their uses, memorising ingredients lists and using them to brew potions, pouring over books about magical histories, practicing spells, and learning the theories behind each enchantment.

She was lucky to have been able to work through complex spells with Delbert and Jasper when they visited her each week - without them she would never have worked out how to cast some of the more advanced counter-jinxes.

They'd also saved her when she'd accidentally set off a puffapod in her room - the spores had exploded all over her and made her so dizzy that when they'd found her she'd been lying on the floor trying to work out if she was upside down or not. She'd lost over a day of revision that way and decided that Herbology was not her subject.

Puffapods aside, as she walked in the sunshine she realised that she finally felt ready for the exams. Well, as ready as she could be.

She had gigantic holes in her knowledge, yes, but she didn't care - as long as she knew how to answer the questions thrown at her that's all that mattered. The rest could be learnt eventually.

Her endless practice papers had been marked by herself and sent off for secondary marking by her Healer friends. In the last two weeks she'd managed to scrape the grades up from dreadfuls and poors to at least acceptable grades, and she had been overjoyed when the last History of Magic paper came back with an exceeds expectations.

All she needed were two. Two exceeds expectations and she'd be at Hogwarts with access to the library and incredible teachers. That was achievable.

Dumbledore had dismissed her want to go home as a fantasy. When she'd asked Delbert and Jasper about universe/world travel, they'd laughed and asked if she wanted a holiday.

While Bess was sure she hadn't made up her life outside this world - how else would she know about horcruxes? - she had come to realise that she might be in this for the long haul.

xXx

Stepping inside the tiny inn, Bess removed her oversized sunglasses and ran a hand through her freshly straightened hair.

Now this was exactly as she had imagined it - low ceilings, giant fireplaces, a warmth which wasn't stifling even considering the heat from outside, and a welcoming atmosphere.

It was also, she noted, extremely busy. The street outside hadn't been too full so she was surprised by the sheer number of people packed in to the small pub.

The door behind her opened to let in a few young witches and wizards and as she moved out of their way it clicked - she'd arrived during a Hogsmeade weekend.

She was glad she'd decided to wear muggle fashions today - a navy long-sleeved henley t-shirt (to hide her scars) tucked in to a pair of blue high waisted shorts, finished off with knee-high brown suede boots.

She'd accessorised with eyeliner, mascara and a sweep of strawberry flavoured Lip Smackers lipbalm which she'd picked up in muggle London the week before - she was well and truly embracing 1970s fashion.

All of this meant that she blended in well with the muggle-clothes-wearing crowd of half-blood, muggle-born and rebellious pure-blood wizards and witches who were packed inside the pub.

Bess took one more look around before approaching the counter and leaning against it.

As she waited for her turn to be served she pulled her hair up into a high ponytail, placed her sunglasses on the top of her head, and stared at the specials board behind the bar.

Specials:

Fish and chips: muggle style

Steak and Kidney Pie

Sticky Toffee Pudding and cream

They could keep the kidney pie, but the other two... those were her weaknesses back in her world and her mouth watered at the thought of tucking in to the hopefully delicious dishes.

"I wouldn't go for the pie if I were you. Don't know what they put in them but Sirius swears he bit into a knuckle once..." came a quiet voice behind her.

"Oh, hello," she said, turning to look at the boy, a smile on her face. "Good thing I was eyeing up the dessert then, eh?"

Remus chuckled in reply and moved round her to lean against the bar while taking a swig of the butterbeer in his hand.

He was wearing a rather endearing outfit - a cardigan over a simple button down shirt and courdroy trousers. She was pleased to see that none were threadbare, as his robes would be later in life.

In his other hand she noticed he was holding a well-worn copy of Intermediate Transfiguration and had one of his fingers keeping the book open to his page. He looked very relaxed, but Bess had the distinct impression he had been interrupted from his revision.

As he swallowed his mouthful he stared off towards the back of the pub.

With a nod, he turned to her and said, "Sirius thinks you've been avoiding us. I think he's got the wrong end of the stick and we just keep missing you... Which one of us is right?"

Bess frowned and looked over to where he'd just been staring. There, sat at the back of the pub, were Sirius and James with who she would have to deduce was Peter Pettigrew.

She barely managed to keep the frown off her face as her eyes lingered on the round faced boy for a moment - he was staring adoringly at James as the black haired youth regaled a story and gesticulated wildly.

She knew Peter hadn't done anything wrong yet but he would be the root cause of James, Lily, Sirius and Remus' murders. Finally, after a second she managed to tear her eyes away from him.

When her eyes flicked to Sirius', she realised he was staring straight at her. She raised an eyebrow at him and he smiled, stood, and began to walk over.

Her eyes widened as she realised that he had taken her look of what're you looking at? to mean come on over.

She turned back to Remus with an apologetic grimace. "Neither actually..."

She wanted to escape - it was one thing to be talking to Remus, it was another entirely to be speaking to a younger version of her favourite character and well, let's face it, first literary crush, who she had accidentally called a prick the previous month.

She also wasn't sure if she should tell them that she wasn't exactly a student yet, or if she should keep mum. However, by the time Remus opened his mouth to reply, Sirius had arrived at her side.

His outfit suited him down to a 't' - he was wearing a 'The Who' t-shirt and straight legged black jeans.

"Well Moony, which one is it?" Sirius asked.

Remus looked at him with a knowing smile on his face.

"Not actually got an answer yet," he said, turning back to her. "I was just about to ask what you meant by 'neither' when- oh..." he stopped and looked around, putting a finger in the air by his ear. "Do you hear James calling me?" With a wink, he turned and walked back to his table.

Smooth.

"Can I get you a drink?" Sirius asked, taking Remus' place in front of her.

"I'm ok thanks," Bess replied, trying to catch the barmaid's attention - she was suddenly very nervous.

"So you have been avoiding us then..." he said, taking a swig of his butterbeer.

Bess tried not to smile as she shook her head.

"I don't even know who you are, so how could I be avoiding you?" she asked quickly. She was lying, of course, she knew exactly who he was, but since none of them had bothered to tell her their names, there was no way she could know what they were without giving the game away.

And, a small part of her wanted to put Sirius in his place after what had happened at Flourish and Blott's.

"You don't know who I am?" Sirius asked before throwing his head back to let out a bark of laughter. "You're kidding me!"

"No, quite serious," she replied, trying not to giggle stupidly at her own pun.

"Well now I definitely don't believe you. How on earth can you not know who I am?"

"Do you know who I am?" She asked, raising an eyebrow and cocking her head to the side.

"Well... That's different isn't it?" he tried to reason, squirming slightly under her gaze.

"Is it?"

"Well... What year are you in?" He continued with a grimace. She had a feeling he was used to girls falling at his feet.

Unfortunately for him, she was able to resist his charms by repeating in her head he's still underage, you're 20, and he's a book character over and over again.

"Guess."

"I'd say my year but I definitely haven't seen you around, so... Sixth?"

"Nope," she sighed dramatically and went to turn away from him. He grabbed her elbow to stop her and dropped his hand to his side, slipping it into his jeans pocket as she turned back to face him.

"You must be! I mean... you can't be fourth year... Can you?" His eyes widened and he choked out "third...year?"

Bess laughed and shook her head. "Nope."

"Okay then... When do you take your OWLs?" He looked visibly relieved.

"June..."

"Obviously! Which year?"

"This year."

"You're... You're in fifth year?" He asked, suddenly very surprised. "How haven't I noticed you before?"

Bess simply shrugged. She didn't really know what to say, so she just blurted out "I love The Who. I had Won't Get Fooled Again stuck in my head for a week straight when I first heard it. Though I think Baba O'Riley's probably my favourite."

Sirius frowned deeply and looked down at his t-shirt before looking back up at her.

"You know who they are?"

"Of course! They're one of the best bands of the decade! I've got all their albums! I think they're working on something new at the moment," she gushed. She really did have all of their albums,... just not in this version of reality.

She'd been sad when she'd realised she would have to wait another two years before she'd be able to listen to Who Are You again.

Sirius cocked his head to the side, "I just picked this up in a muggle shop," he pointed to his t-shirt, "never heard of them before. I thought I was being original. No one's commented on it before..."

"Oh. Well... they're really good..." she didn't know what else to say so they lapsed into silence as he sipped his drink.

Luckily, it wasn't too long before James interrupted them.

"Pads, we've got to go - I just saw Lily walk past. Operation Nightingale is a go!"

Sirius sighed and nodded at his friend.

James turned to her quickly, and said "sorry, but I'm sure you two can stare into each others' eyes some other time, eh?" He wiggled his eyebrows at her before dashing off.

"What did he mean by that?" She asked, staring at James' retreating figure. Sirius shrugged.

"What're you doing tomorrow?" He asked before chugging down the rest of his drink.

"Revising. Why?" She asked distractedly as she lifted her hand to shake an imaginary set of keys at Madam Rosmerta who had finally made eye contact with her.

The barmaid smiled, nodded, and moved towards a cabinet with the words 'room keys' emblazoned on it.

"Dunno. Might see you..." He said as he placed his mug on the counter and placed his hands in his pockets before following James out of the pub.

I doubt it, thought Bess glumly as she watched Remus and Peter join the other two outside.

xXx

A week and two days later Bess found herself sat in a classroom just off the entrance hall. She was dressed in a set of spare school robes embroidered with the Hufflepuff emblem.

Dumbledore had arranged for her to floo in to that classroom, which inexplicably had a fireplace in it, half an hour before each of her exams and floo out of it immediately she'd finished.

They'd agreed that Hufflepuff would be the least conspicuous house for her to join as, out of the over 100 students who were currently in fifth year, 43 of them belonged to the badger crested house.

At first, she'd been disappointed that she wouldn't have the opportunity to see Hogwarts in all of its glory, but then she'd agreed with his reasoning - the less time she spent on the premises, the less distracted she would be.

And she needed to limit her distractions - she'd spent the last week and a half thinking of strong jaws and grey eyes before reminding herself that she was older than the man, no, boy, who possessed them.

As she stood in the room, fumbling with her satchel bag as she tried to open it and not think about the fact that she was in Hogwarts!

She couldn't tell if the nausea she felt was from the intense spinning and squeezing from her floo travel, sheer excitement, or her nerves.

Finally she managed to undo the bag's clasp and took out her notebook, pulled out a chair, and began to reread her notes on Charms.

She had just finished reviewing her passage on the counter charm for hiccups when the door opened to reveal Professor McGonagall.

"Miss Coulson? Please follow me."

McGonagall was exactly as she'd expected, but with a few less wrinkles. Shorter than Bess, she had a stern face and, even though she'd never been taught by the woman, Bess was intimidated by her.

Following McGonagall into the Great Hall, she was glad that no one noticed as she was shown to a small desk at the back - everyone was paying close attention to the front of the room as Professor Flitwick went over the exam rules and anti-cheating guidance.

So overcome with nerves and so reminded of sitting her own GCSEs and A Levels back in her world, Bess didn't even think to glance at the enchanted ceiling as she listened to the wizard's instructions.

Finally, when she was sure her heart would explode from beating so fast, they were allowed to turn over their exam papers and begin.

xXx

By some miracle, Bess managed to avoid seeing, or being seen by, the Marauders during the first week and a half of exams.

She'd felt sick after the Defence Against the Dark Arts written exam, knowing what would be happening by the lake as she'd floo'd back to the Three Broomsticks and it had taken all of her will power to go back for the practical exam the next day.

She was incredibly glad when she'd looked around and not seen any students she recognised from the books.

She had, admittedly, made frightened pre-exam eye contact with James Potter over her cauldron during the Potions practical exam. She'd been so caught up in repeating the processes of brewing a certain potion that she had automatically looked at him as he muttered 'psst' next to her.

She'd stared at him with wide eyes as he grinned and nudged the boy next to him. Before he could see her, she'd squeaked and requested to move cauldrons "because her one seemed unlucky," before proceeding to ignore that side of the room for the rest of the exam.

When she'd finished five minutes shy of the end time, she'd asked for a well-timed bathroom break so that she could run off before anyone could catch her 'for a chat'.

Two days later, Bess was ready to sit her last exam, History of Magic.

"Daphne?" Squeaked Professor Flitwick as he popped his head round the classroom door. "Time for your last exam."

As she sat down in her usual chair at the back of the hall she had expected to look beside her and see a rather sour faced boy with bright blonde hair who she'd dubbed 'Draco'.

Instead, after arranging her quills, ink pot and taking a deep, grounding breath, she looked to the side and found herself staring into a pair of deep, grey eyes.

Sirius raised a hand in a quick salute as Bess' eyes widened in surprise. With a sly smile and a wink, he turned back to his paper as Professor Sprout said "begin."

After shaking her head quickly and taking another deep breath, Bess turned over her paper to find that she knew the answers to every question. Smiling to herself, she began to write and found the next two hours passed in a blur as her hand raced across the parchment in front of her.

"Quills down," came a voice from the front of the hall and she managed to quickly finish her word before the parchment flew from her table.

Sitting back in her chair with a big sigh, she took a second to close her eyes and let out a and done breath before she reached under her desk to grab her bag.

In the haze of the long exam she'd completely forgotten who was next to her.

"What did you think of question three? I reckon Binn's forgot to mention that one..." asked Sirius, who was now sitting on the edge of his exam table, staring down at her.

"Did he?" She squeaked, looking down at the paper to see the question - In what way did the goblin revolution of 1612 contribute to the gold shortage of 1751? "Wasn't too hard to work out though, was it? Anyone who's read A History of Magic could answer that one," she replied quickly, gathering up her belongings.

"Yeah, or anyone who's talked to ol' Bathilda," he said, waiting for her to stand up before they joined the throng of students exiting the hall. "Told us all about it over break..." he trailed off as she stopped and turned to face him.

Bess was genuinely confused as to why he was talking to her - she'd spent so long reading about him, imagining him, that she was having a hard time processing it all, and was currently finding it difficult to talk to him as she knew what he'd done to Snape just one week ago.

"Sorry Pads, but is that meant to impress me?" She asked as she shoved her quills and ink pot back into her bag.

"Pads?" He managed to choke out, looking shocked.

"Yeah... your friend called you that at the pub. Is that not your name?" She'd been hoping that if she called him by his nickname he'd be so incensed he'd stop talking to her. It had rather the opposite response as he continued talking.

"No,... you really don't seem to know who I am..."

"Am I meant to?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Well, can't say I've ever had that response..." He replied, scratching the back of his head. "Are you pretending not to know me because you heard about last week?"

"Heard about what?" Bess asked after a second's pause. She didn't know what to say - she shouldn't have known what had happened since she hadn't talked to any other students and had been arriving back at the Three Broomsticks as it was happening.

"Oh come off it, the whole school knows we bested Snivellus!" He boasted as he put his hands in his pockets and laughed.

Bess couldn't help but screw her face up in disgust. Was he boasting about what he'd done? At the look on her face, the smile slipped from Sirius' face and he adopted a bored expression.

"I looked round for you but didn't see you anywhere," he said after a minute's silence. Bess frowned. Did he mean in general, or while he was by the lake?

"Please tell me that display wasn't for my benefit."

"No- he had it coming though," he replied. Bess felt nauseous and suddenly didn't want to be talking to him. She'd be able to soon, just not right now. "So you're in Hufflepuff then? Figures why I haven't seen you in all our classes," he sighed. "Can't wait until next year when we're not just with the Slytherins anymore."

Bess didn't reply. Instead, she looked over his shoulder and made brief eye contact with a boy with long black hair and a hooked nose - Snape.

"What do you want, Snivellus?" Sirius called as he followed her gaze. Snape glared before hurrying away.

"Don't call him that," she snapped.

"What? Snivellus? But that's his name!"

"Is it really? It sounds like something an immature eleven year old would come up with," she replied frostily.

"Didn't take you for a snake lover," Sirius said as he raised an eyebrow and stepped backwards, hands still in his pockets.

"I'm not but-" she was cut off as Professor McGonagall stepped forwards.

"Ah, Miss Coulson. Mr. Black." She nodded at Sirius before turning back to Bess. "Miss Coulson, please follow me."

McGonagall's timing couldn't have been better - Bess was sure that if she'd not been whisked away just then, she would have berated Sirius for his treatment of Snape and he would never have spoken to her again.

And, despite what he'd done, she did want to talk to him again...

She felt conflicted. She knew what he'd done... what he and James had done... but, she also knew from the books that James had changed, mostly, for Lily's sake. And if James could grow up by the start of seventh year and become a better person, so could Sirius.

"Coulson..." she heard Sirius repeat to himself as she followed the older witch through the hall.

Looking back over her shoulder, she could see he'd now been joined by James, Remus and Peter who were all staring at her, their faces scrunched in confusion as James held a rather large piece of folded parchment in his hand.

Chapter Text

The remaining summer months passed in a haze of heatwaves and learning as Bess returned to the Leaky Cauldron (her safe space) and continued her study regime in an effort to try and fill some of the gaps in her magical knowledge.

However, by the middle of August she had, admittedly, lost some of her drive and focus as she eagerly awaited her exam results.

Correction, she had lost all of her drive and focus as she impatiently awaited her exam results.

Other students had had their marks sent to them at the start of the month and Bess had heard passing chatter about OWL results as students and their families flocked to Diagon Alley to buy their supplies for the new term.

She'd heard students congratulated while she ate her lunch in the Leaky Cauldron, commiserated as she browsed for new books in Flourish and Blott's, and compared as she grabbed sweet treats in Sugarplum's Sweet Shop.

It had become so arduous, overhearing this talk, that she had decided to spend her mornings pacing her room while she waited for the post, before heading out into muggle London for a break from all things Hogwarts when nothing came for her.

Finally, halfway through August, and just as she was about to give up and go to the cinema to see a rerun of Dr. No for the third time that week, she heard a knock.

Crossing the room quickly, she opened the door to reveal a tray which held a single envelope with elaborate swirling writing in green ink.

As she took the envelope, the tray promptly disappeared down the long hallway.

An actual Hogwarts letter! Bess stared in awe for a moment before closing the door and walking over to her bed.

Her excitement was suddenly quenched by a water balloon of dread - she felt sick with worry that it was a rejection letter.

What would she do then? Her mind raced as she thought of her options. If she had no OWLs, they would take her wand, wouldn't they? Or would they?

Only one way to find out, she thought, putting her thumb under the wax seal and ripping it open.

Her heart threatened to beat out of her chest as multiple pages spilled out on to the bed.

Picking up the first, she read:

HOGWARTS SCHOOL OF WITCHCRAFT AND WIZARDRY

Dear Miss Coulson,

It is my immense pleasure to inform you that you have been accepted to study your NEWTs at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

Due to your unique circumstances, we have arranged for you to be sorted privately.

Further details will be sent when we receive your owl, which we expect  by the 20th August.

Please find enclosed a list of necessary books and equipment - s ome of these will be optional depending on your chosen NEWT subjects.

Term begins on the 1st September.

Yours sincerely,

Minerva McGonagall

Deputy Headmistress

Bess spent the next five minutes jumping up and down, squealing, punching the air and swearing.

Once she'd calmed down a tad she reread the letter. Short and sweet. And a PRIVATE SORTING!

Bess was overjoyed - she'd been worried about being the only non-first year to be sorted, and had begun to think of it as a 'walk of shame'. If they hadn't offered her a private sorting she would have embarrassed herself in some way, she was sure.

Without stopping to read any of the other letters enclosed, she grabbed a spare piece of parchment and responded to say that she would definitely be attending and asking what the private sorting would entail.

Finally, after she returned from the 'owlery', which was more of an airy room where two owls sat on their perches and glared at her as she clumsily attached her letter to one of their legs, she found the piece of parchment which detailed her results and began to read:

Results key:
Passing grades: O - Outstanding, E - Exceeds Expectations, A - Acceptable
Failing grades: P - Poor, D - Dreadful, T - Troll

Charms - A

Defence Against the Dark Arts - E

Herbology - P

Potions - A

Transfiguration - A

History of Magic - O

Her Herbology result hadn't been surprising to Bess, as she had found it incredibly difficult to care for the plants which had been placed in front of her during the exam. She had even said "what the fuck is this one?" out loud. The girl across from her had glared and sssh'd her.

Potions, on the other hand, was a bit of a shock to her - she'd thought her potion had been brewed well, so, she reasoned, she must have let herself down in the theory portion of the exam. As they hadn't included her mark sheet though, she would never know how close she came to an E.

She made a mental note to buy the biggest hampers of chocolates she could afford and have them sent to the Healers at St. Mungos as thanks for their help.

She'd be picking up the tab for her next dinner with Jasper and Delbert as her thank you to them both.

Bess was just about to pick up her shopping list when she realised there was a handwritten note on the back of her marks sheet.

Dear Miss Coulson,

We, at the Examinations Office at the Ministry of Magic, have been made aware of the extenuating circumstances which have affected your OWLs.

We would like to congratulate you on your achievements above. To have managed these grades whilst in your situation is truly admirable.

After speaking to your examiners and reviewing your papers, we believe that you should have every opportunity to continue most of the subjects above to NEWT level and have informed Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that they should waive their 'exceeds expectations' requirements for you in your chosen subjects.

(Unfortunately, your Herbology mark was subpar and we do not believe that you will be able to take your NEWT without re-sitting your OWL.)

We wish you a very happy day,

Yours sincerely,

Tabitha Halfcrook
Head of the Examinations Office

She screamed in delight and, forgetting all about her shopping list, celebrated by walking to Chinatown where she ate as much food as she could, washed down with a rather large glass of coca cola.

xXx

The next day she'd received a reply from McGonagall - Bess would not be taking the Hogwarts Express to school, but would be making her way to the school gates for 4pm on the 1st. There, she'd be taken for a private sorting ceremony before joining the hoards of returning students.

The realisation of what she was about to do hit her like a ton of bricks.

She'd now been in this world for over eight months. She'd tried to find information on time or world travel within the books Flourish and Blott's stocked and hadn't managed to find anything... What if she didn't find anything at Hogwarts?

She had been enjoying herself a little too much, and could now feel the panic rising in her chest - would she be called Daphne at Hogwarts?

Would she make friends? Would she be able to keep up? Would future Death Eaters know she was a muggle-born and what she'd survived? Would they attack her for it?

Would she even be able to remember who would become a Death Eater? She could only remember Snape, Regulus Black, Avery and Mulciber. Who else would she have the misfortune to come across?

Would she finally have the courage to show her scars and to ask what 'mudblood' meant?

What have I done? she asked herself as she slipped under her covers, tears pooling in her eyes.

She stayed in bed crying, sleeping and worrying for the next day and a half.

xXx

After a rather stern talk with herself in the mirror, where she'd reminded herself that there were bigger things going on in the wizarding world at the moment other than her discomfort, embarrassment, worry and fear, Bess found herself standing just inside the doorway to Madam Malkin's Robes for All Occasions.

She'd managed to find all of her other school supplies in Diagon Alley and, after depositing them in her room, was next in line for a robe fitting. She just had to wait for a beautiful young Ravenclaw with long blonde hair to finish.

Bess been waiting for around 50 minutes now and still wasn't bored - she was fascinated as the seamstress measured, cut, sewed and wrung up purchases for the various wizards and witches who'd been in front of her.

It was the most elaborate dance of magic she had ever seen.

She was so entranced by the beauty of it, she failed to notice as a young man tried to get her attention not once, not twice, but three times.

Finally, where others would have simply given up, he decided enough was enough, and poked her in the side.

"Hey! What was that for?" She yelled as she turned towards the boy in question. "Oh. Of course it's you," she muttered, rubbing her side.

"What do you mean oh, of course it's you? If I'd expected this level of disrespect I wouldn't have tried!"

"Oh please, you're enjoying annoying me and you know it," she replied, rolling her eyes and looking back in to the shop.

"What're you doing?" Sirius asked, leaning against the open door.

"Waiting. What're you doing?" As Bess asked this she was surprised to see the blonde witch glaring at her in the mirror. She was so surprised in fact, that she almost missed what the boy said and asked next.

"Same... I couldn't be bothered to go into the apothecary for the third time this month but the Potters are obsessed with potions," he complained. "Getting some new robes then?"

Bess raised an eyebrow and looked at him. "Are you really talking to me about new robes?"

"What else is there to talk about?"

"I don't know... The sky? The moon? The universe?" She replied, throwing her hands in the air at each example. "That bloody heatwave that almost killed me last month? Lots of topics!"

Sirius chuckled bitterly and nodded, "true... please excuse me, it's been a long summer..."

Bess winced. She knew exactly what he meant - he'd either left home to live with the Potters that summer, or the Christmastime before.

After a brief pause he adopted a rather cocky smile and said proudly, "how did you do in your OWLs then? James and I both got Os in everything, of course."

Bess couldn't help rolling her eyes. Of course they did.

"I was happy with my results," she said, knowing it would annoy him if she didn't say what she got. "I thought you wouldn't talk to me again after our last chat."

"Why not?"

"You seemed... angry that I defended that boy," Bess replied, slowly, trying not to say Snape's name.

"Nah. Life's too short for that, not like you're a Slytherin so doesn't matter," he said with a shrug. "And... well, James may have had a word. Apparently you girls just have weird soft spots for people like him."

Bess rolled her eyes. "What do you have against Slytherins anyway?"

Sirius' jaw tensed and he didn't reply. Bess knew she'd overstepped.

"Ok, how about a different question? Why do you keep bumping into me?" She asked, trying to move the conversation along.

"I'd've thought that was obvious, wouldn't you?"

"No, not really," she said, glancing back at the blonde witch who was still managing to glare at Bess while paying for her robes.

He paused for a moment and frowned before saying, "I can't work you out and it's intriguing... You seem to have an unusually good knack for... staying off map... and yet when we do talk you're... well... have you always been this interesting?"

Has he been looking for me? Bess wondered, now also intrigued.

"Nope. Have you always been this uninteresting?" She asked in reply, trying not to think about him using the map to try and find her when she wasn't in Hogwarts.

She giggled and bit her lip when Sirius' mouth dropped open in shock at her words.

"Un- I am not uninteresting!"

"Could've fooled me..." she teased as he put a hand to his chest and gasped, a smile on his face. "Honestly though? No... I'm really not, I just find it fun talking to you."

"And being incredibly sarcastic and hurtful?" He asked in a teasing tone.

"What can I say? Something about you brings out the worst in me."

"Well then, I'd like to see the best," he said with a wink.

Bess threw her head back and laughed. "Oh, you couldn't handle me at my best!"

His smile broadened and he moved closer to her. "I'm sure I could... You know, you're quite funny for a Hufflepuff."

"I'm no-"

"Sirius..." Bess was cut off by the high pitched voice of the Ravenclaw girl who had approached the door.

Bess pursed her lips to stop from smiling at the obviousness of the girl's actions and quickly covered her mouth with her hand when she wasn't able to catch the laugh that erupted from her.

The Ravenclaw glared at her again before adopting a pout when she looked back to Sirius.

"Would you walk me to Flourish and Blott's, Sirius? You know it's not safe out at the moment..." she simpered.

Sirius, who now looked like he could think of a million things he'd rather do, turned back to Bess and asked, "why don't I wait with you?"

Before she could answer she heard a shout from the counter, "Coulson!"

"That's me!" She said, raising a hand at the witch behind the register and beginning to walk across the shop.

"Hey! You didn't answer me!" Sirius exclaimed.

Bess looked over her shoulder to see him in the clutches of the blonde, looking none too pleased. She could have saved him... but instead she said, "what? Oh, no, it's fine, really. I'm sure your... friend... could use the company."

The expression on his face was laughable.

When she turned around from asking for "four sets of school robes, so four plain black robes, four white shirts, two skirts, two pairs of trousers, two cardigans, two jumpers, yes please, all plain for now. Also, two blazers, a school hat, and a winter-cloak", Sirius had been dragged off.

"You really only need three full sets of robes, my dear," came Madam Malkin's voice from beside her. "And I don't think we've ever had a girl ask for trousers and jumpers... that's more of a boy's uniform, isn't it?"

The witch waved Bess over to the set of mirrors the Ravenclaw girl had just vacated.

"Is it? Well personally, having spares of each sounds like a lot less effort, and I prefer trousers," she replied calmly, stepping up on a turntable for her fitting and expecting a mini-fight with the seamstress over her choice of clothing. It was the 1970s after all, and school clothes were very traditional - skirts for girls, trousers for boys.

All of the girls she'd seen in the queue ahead of her had gone for skirts, and with varying hem lengths. All Bess could think about were the endless stairs at Hogwarts and the sheer amount of accidental flashing that must go on... and the thought of having to hold her skirt down as a scottish wind blew was enough to send her straight over to the trouser section.

"Oh... well... whatever you wish dear... you're the one paying..." the witch replied, frowning at her. "Are you sure you just need plain ties?"

"Uh- yes. I'm... new..."

"Aha! That makes more sense! Clothes are a lot more... liberal... at other schools..." muttered the seamstress with a grimace. "Well... would you like your uniform fitted well? Or on the looser side?"

Bess didn't register the question.

She'd looked in the mirror and seen two black haired boys walk past the shop, deep in conversation. As she made eye contact with the boy with messy black hair and glasses, he'd smiled before looking back at his friend.

She then found herself unable to stop thinking about her conversation with Sirius. She was getting ahead of herself - she'd read and imagined him so much in her childhood that she felt like she was talking to an old friend whenever he appeared.

She'd thought it would be easy to avoid the Marauders, Lily and Snape and yet since she'd woken up in this world just eight months ago (had it really been that long?), but already she'd had no less than three conversations with the floppy haired teen!

"Dear? Fitted well or looser?" The witch's voice cut through her reverie.

"Oh, sorry... uh- honestly, whatever I can move in will be great," Bess replied quickly.

She'd regret saying this and not "on the looser side" as soon as she slipped on her robes for the first time.

Her shirts, jumpers and cardigans were all tapered at the waist and extenuated her figure a little too well for her liking.

Her skirts were straight, rather than pleated, and came to a few inches above her knees - the minimum skirt length requirement.

Even the trousers were cut to extenuate the length of her legs, though thankfully, as they were high waisted, she could sit down easily.

Everything was incredibly flattering, but now she was a little worried about being the new girl and standing out.

Maybe she should have listened to the witch. Too late for that, came the voice in the back of her head as she packed her trunk.

xXx

Her weekly lunches and dinners with Jasper and Delbert had continued throughout the summer and become the highlight of her Mondays.

As they ate they would update her on her case, give her general information about their work, help her with any revision questions she might have, and joke around.

The end of August had brought their last meeting before she left for Hogwarts, and Bess felt incredibly emotional.

The two men had helped her through the toughest part of her life so far, and she had seen them every week for months. She would miss their company terribly.

They'd changed their last dinner to a Tuesday - the night before she left for Hogwarts - and even allowed her to have a glass of wine in celebration.

"But only one glass, and a small one at that. In fact, Jasper, is this even a good idea?"

"Of course! She'll be fine! I drank tons when I was at school and I was Head Boy in the end!"

As she wasn't travelling on the Hogwarts Express the next morning, they'd stayed later than usual to share stories of their time at Hogwarts and, in Delbert's case, of his funnier exploits as a younger Auror.

"-and then he said... Get this... 'I'm sorry Del, I don't know how that ended up in there!'" he cried out as Jasper and Bess doubled over laughing.

"No!"

"Yes! He just gave up in the end! Imagine it though! Trying to sneak a bloody Thestral into the middle of London using a bleedin' handbag!"

Once they'd calmed down and topped up their drinks, Bess was a bit miffed that she was back on butterbeer at their insistence, she decided to approach a subject that had been on her mind for a while now - her name.

"I- uhm- look. I know we've known each other for a while now..."

Jasper and Delbert shared a look as Bess stared down at her hands, wringing them together. Jasper raised an eyebrow and asked, "You breaking up with us, Daph?"

"No... I-I- y-you see," she stammered. Taking a deep breath, she raised her head and said "I-I've been thinking about this for a while and... I'd like you to call me Bess."

The wizards stared.

Jasper broke the silence first. "But... you told Healer Fenrose you didn't want that..."

"I know, and thank you, you know, for being so respectful. But... It just feels weird that everyone calls me Daphne. I-I- feel like Daphne was a different person. I don't have her memories... I don't have her wand..."

"And you want to start Hogwarts as yourself?" Jasper asked quietly.

Delbert reached over and grabbed her hand to give it a quick squeeze before letting it go. "We'll call you whatever you want."

"Merlin. Honestly! You'd think you were telling us you were dying!" Jasper laughed. "Daphne's cute, but Bess is a much... Bess-er name..." He laughed again as Delbert and Bess' groans filled the room.

"Terrible. Absolutely terrible."

"Any other pun... Why Bess-er!"

"It feels like... It feels like letting Daphne go is a death in a way..." she admitted with tears in her eyes. "It feels like I've been pretending to be her all this time and now... now I'm going to be me. I feel... I feel more vulnerable in a way. And... And what if people find it odd?"

"Honestly?" Jasper sat forwards. His face was more serious than she'd ever seen it before. "We've been waiting for you to say this... I- look...

"I know it's hard, because you're right. Giving up Daphne is a massive step for you. It's... It's losing your protective blanket and that's always going to be the hardest thing."

"Especially with what you've gone through," Delbert added, smiling sadly at her.

"You don't think I've been ri-ridiculous about the whole thing?"

"The first time you heard your name, it was jarring. It tore you apart, we could all see it - the Healers and us.

"It was like something inside you was screaming that none of us knew you. Part of you was wishing for your old life, even though if didn't know what that life looked like."

Bess took a second to let Jasper's words sink in. How did he manage to always say the right thing? He'd just summed up exactly how she'd felt when Healer Fenrose had called her Bess, and he'd rationalised it for her.

"I- Jasper... Thank you."

"You're welcome, Bess," he replied, emphasising her name.

Bess grinned. For the first time since she'd arrived in this world, she felt seen, and hearing her name on the lips of someone else didn't seem so foreign.

In fact, hearing Jasper say her name was oddly cathartic and... nice. She felt a step closer to home as she looked at him.

"Could you tell me about... About my family here?" She whispered.

Delbert sat back in his chair. "You're sure you're ready for that?"

"Yes. I- I know I've been avoiding it for a while, but... can you tell me what you know about them? Before all of this happened?"

"Ri-right," Delbert drained his goblet, coughed and wiping away the tears on his face. "Sorry. Just- just never thought you'd get this far and- yeah. Sorry. Ok. So your parents..."

Her mother and father had been much different in this world - they had been deeply in love and were kind people.

She cried as Jasper explained that her parents had been told not to get married because they were a mixed race couple who'd met in 1956, but that they had fought against her father's white family and married in secret. When Daphne had been born her grandparents and parents had reconciled and she had lived a life filled with love.

Daphne's life had been so different to Bess' - she hadn't deserved to lose it all so that Bess could wake up in this world. And she felt terrible, as if she was now erasing Daphne... Replacing her.

But she, Bess, had no loving parents to rush back to. Her friends were her only real concern, and they might not have even missed her...

Would anyone really mind if she stayed just a little bit longer?

Chapter Text

"You're late."

"Oh. I'm so sorry, my letter said to get here for 4."

"Yes, 4. Not 4.01!"

"Uh- sorry sir. It won't happen again."

Bess tried not to glare at the caretaker in front of her.

As a reader, she had respect for Filch. A squib caretaker in a school full of wizards and witches who found it funny to flout the rules? She could see how he'd become an easily annoyed man by Harry's day, let alone now with the Marauders running around the castle causing havoc.

However, having a go at her for being a minute late? It took everything she had to hold in her sarcasm and address him in the manner that she thought he deserved from at least one student - a respectful one.

"Are you making fun of me?" He spat out, glaring at her.

"What? No!"

"Then why'd you call me sir?"

"Isn't that what you call your superiors?"

Filch stopped and stared at her. Bess kept her face neutral.

After what felt like minutes, he replied in a quieter voice, "I don't think anyone's ever called me that... Well, not said it and meant it."

"Why not?"

Filch stared at her for another moment.

"Just follow me and don't get smart."

Bess wondered if he'd ever come across a student that he'd liked. If this was how he was speaking to her, maybe he enjoyed besting troublemakers and didn't know how to react when people were kind to him.

As they trudged up the long entrance footpath Bess looked around in awe - the Forbidden Forest was just as large and imposing as she'd imagined, and the lake... the lake... there weren't words.

And then the castle... As they moved closer and closer to the imposing building Bess felt butterflies low in her stomach. She felt lightheaded as she stared at the turrets and towers. It was as if part of her was only just accepting where she was, and was greeting the castle as 'home'.

Before she knew it, after a blur of halls, portraits, suits of armour and statues, she found herself outside Dumbledore's office, face to face with an incredibly impressive gargoyle statue.

"Cockroach Clusters," barked Filch. "Well? In you go. And don't go causing me any trouble this year."

Bess tried not to roll her eyes as she gathered herself together, stood up straight, and placed her foot on the first stone step.

It took everything she had not to do a happy jig, squeal, faint, or... basically make a fool of herself.

Reaching the top of the stairs she knocked on the wooden door.

"Ah, Daphne. Please come in."

"Thank you. Professor Dumbledore" she nodded to the older wizard. "Professors?" She addressed Professors McGonagall, Flitwick, Slughorn and Sprout with a slightly shocked and nervous smile.

They all smiled back at her kindly as she moved forwards into the middle of the room.

Gulping, Bess stood under their gazes, wondering why they were all there - she'd only expected McGonagall and Dumbledore.

"Welcome, Daphne, to your sorting!" Dumbledore said with a wave of his hand. "All of the Heads of Houses have been made aware of your situation and have gathered to watch the ceremony.

"Professor Slughorn, Head of Slytherin House."

Slughorn, who had slightly more hair than she expected, and much more belly, waved at her with a gigantic smile.

"Professor Sprout, Head of Hufflepuff."

"We'd be very happy to have you join us, Daphne," said the shorter witch, whose hair was, at this point, a light brown with grey streaks. Apart from this, she looked exactly as she did in Harry's day.

"Professor Flitwick, who you know of course, Head of Ravenclaw House."

"Incredible drive, Miss Coulson, incredible," Flitwick squeaked, sending her the biggest smile of them all as she grinned down at him.

Bess could barely contain her tears at this point, as she felt overjoyed at their kind reception.

"And Professor McGonagall, also Head of Gryffindor House."

McGonagall, who was holding the sorting hat in her hand, nodded at Bess. "Well done, Daphne. Well done indeed."

Bess beamed and wiped her eyes.

"I hope you don't mind the smaller reception, but we thought this would be best for your situation," said Professor McGonagall.

"O-of course," Bess replied, realising that of course they'd all be there - they were probably waiting to see if she would be under their care. "I'm actually relieved."

"Oh?"

"I'm... not too good in crowds... well... with lots of people staring at me at least."

"Then I will apologise now - as a new student, I'm sure you will have a lot of... notoriety this year."

Bess opened and closed her mouth a few times. She hadn't really thought of that, and honestly, didn't know what to say anymore.

"The sorting?" asked Professor Sprout, shooting her a reassuring smile.

"Of course! Yes. Well, if you would please sit?"

Bess moved forwards and sat on the stool in front of Dumbledore's desk. It was so low that she felt like her knees were by her ears.

As stupid as she felt, part of her was touched that they'd used the original sorting stool for her private ceremony.

She took a deep breath as the hat was placed on her head, and closed her eyes.

"Ahhhhhh hello. Not being sorted with the other children are we? Hmm... why not? New? and a sixth year? Very unorthodox. Hmm... and where to place you? Where to place you?"

Bess tried to keep her mind blank and only picture what she knew of this world.

However, as soon as she emptied her mind, she could hear Harry's voice saying "Not Slytherin, not Slytherin."

"Not Slytherin? No... you don't strike me as a Slytherin. Maybe in the future... or in the past... but not in this climate. No..."

She thought next of Hufflepuff - of the loyalty of the badgers, the fact that they were unafraid of work. She thought of their bravery at the battle of Hogwarts, and of Cedric.

"Ah yes... You would do well in Hufflepuff. I see the right qualities in you..."

"I need to be in Gryffindor."

"Gryffindor? But you really would make a rather fantastic Hufflepuff..."

"I know. And in another time I would have loved that, but I can't - I need to be in Gryffindor."

Bess had spent the summer thinking about it properly - she was a new sixth year muggle-born who'd been targeted by Death Eaters and needed to learn how to defend herself. Her knowledge of this world lay with Harry Potter - she knew his common room, his house colours, his Hogwarts.

And then there were the Gryffindors of this world. Of this time. The Marauders... Lily... As much as she didn't want to admit it, she needed them. They were the only 'people' she knew here and she needed continuity and safety. Especially right now.

"Please, I need to be in Gryffindor," she thought.

"Hmm... Curious... Normally I can see so much. But there's a block in your mind..."

"The Memory Charm."

Her mind was immediately flooded with Delbert and Jasper explaining what had happened to her... Of her work to catch up and take her OWLs...

"Curious... Yes... yes I know where to put you then..."

"GRYFFINDOR!" Bellowed the hat.

Bess smiled sadly. She really had wanted to be put in Hufflepuff, but this was the best choice for her. Gryffindor would keep her safe and allow her to grow and learn how to protect herself.

"Congratulations Daphne!" Came McGonagall's voice as she lifted the hat from Bess' head.

The others had begun to clap and congratulate her as well.

"A shame, I would have liked some fresh meat! But bravo Minerva!" Slughorn's voice cut through the others.

"Uh, Professors...?"

"Yes?"

"This is probably a weird time to bring it up... but... my name's actually Bess."

"I'm sorry?" Asked Slughorn.

"I- Daphne is.. my first name... But my name is Bess. And I want to use it."

If they were surprised by her request, they didn't show it - they simply smiled at her. It was quite unnerving.

"Of course. A small request, and one which we shall honour," Dumbledore said. "Now, students will be arriving soon. Minerva, as her new Head of House, will you take... Bess... down to the entrance hall?"

"Of course. Please follow me Miss Coulson."

Bess smiled at them all and waved meekly before following McGonagall out of the room.

Neither witch spoke until they were almost at the entrance hall.

"I wanted to take a moment to say that you've done incredibly well to get here. However, this year and the next will not be easy. I hope you know that."

"I do. I really do." Bess said sadly.

"Now, the house tables..."

Bess spent the next half an hour learning about the house tables, the sorting ceremony that was to come, and all about the feast.

She couldn't tell McGonagall that she already knew all of this, so she simply basked in the glow of Hogwarts as the older witch explained everything to her.

Finally, as she was getting to be quite bored of hearing about the feast, but equally excited by having one on one time with McGonagall, they heard the first carriages arriving.

Under her robes, Bess was wearing a tie, a shirt, jumper and trousers. All of which, she realised almost too late, were still plain with only the Hogwarts emblem stitched into them.

"Professor! My clothes!"

"Oh! Of course." With a flick of her wand, McGonagall changed everything to the Gryffindor colours and emblem. "Much better."

"Thank you," Bess said, smiling.

"Now off you go."

Bess nodded at the Professor before joining the throng on students who were on their way inside the Great Hall.

She tried to blend in, and sat towards the end of the Gryffindor table closest to the doors. She was immediately surrounded by groups of what she assumed were seventh years since they were all talking about taking their NEWTs.

As she saw the Marauders arrive, she ducked her head and stared at the golden plate in front of her.

She had worn her hair down - a mass of defined curls which fell to her mid-back - perfect for hiding her face.

At least for now she wanted to keep a low profile - having to explain that she wasn't a Hufflepuff to Sirius felt just a little too much at that moment.

Within fifteen minutes the hall was almost filled.

She watched as Sirius laughed at something Remus said, before turning to look behind him. It didn't look as though he had found what or who he was looking for as his gaze swept intently over the table next to Gryffindor's.

She realised with a jolt that he was scanning the Hufflepuffs.

As the last few students made their way inside the hall, Filch appeared and closed the doors rather dramatically with lots of huffing and puffing.

Sirius turned back to the front and shook his head at James who, in turn, shrugged his shoulders and looked to the front.

Suddenly, a silence fell over the Great Hall as Dumbledore stepped forwards, raising his hands in welcome.

"Welcome, welcome," he said.

Bess couldn't stop the smile from taking over her face as she watched him wink, smile, and point at students throughout the hall.

"I trust that you all had good summer breaks? I myself was incredibly busy, working alongside Professors Flitwick and McGonagall to put right the fifth floor corridor in time for the new year."

What seemed like the entire hall erupted into laughter - Bess could even see a few Slytherins giggling.

"Yes, yes, it was... incredibly funny, and a rather wonderful piece of magic, Messrs Black, Lupin, Pettigrew and Potter pulled off, but please... let's not repeat it this year?" He raised an eyebrow at the foursome, who were laughing the hardest.

One glance at Professor McGonagall's face told Bess all she needed to know - although set in a stern expression, Bess had the distinct impression that she was trying not to smile.

"Settle down... settle down... Yes... As always, please be kind to the first years during the sorting ceremony and in the first few weeks of school. They have had a longer journey than yourselves, and the sorting is often tedious for us all.

"I will introduce a few new faces to you all once the ceremony has been completed. But for now... Minerva?" Dumbledore nodded to McGonagall who stood, produced a stool and a list from thin air, and walked towards a large wooden door. "Let the sorting... commence!"

Bess watched in awe as students swept in from the side hall before the sorting hat sang its song.

She wished she'd been listening, but she'd been too busy staring at the ceiling, watching other students as they laughed and joked through the song, and trying not cry as she became overwhelmed at the sheer beauty and magnificence of it all.

It was everything she'd dreamed of and more.

She was shaken out of her reverie by a commanding scottish voice saying "Aarons, Michael!" as the sorting began.

She counted around 60 students to be sorted, and inwardly groaned as she thought of how long the ceremony would last.

However, just as she thought it would be incredibly boring, the sorting hat shouted "GRYFFINDOR" and she joined the other students at her table in shouting, whooping, cheering and clapping as Michael Aarons took his place amongst them.

In that moment she realised how exciting the sorting ceremony was - they were accepting students in to their houses... their families... and in a way she felt saddened that she hadn't had that opportunity.

This feeling was gone by the time they reached "Simms, Florence", a rather petite eleven year old who became the year's first hat stall.

Around six minutes in to Florence's sorting, Bess found herself leaning forwards with her elbows on the table. One hand sat under her chin, propping her head up, and with the other, she played with one of her curls.

She could hear whispers as other students chatted quietly amongst themselves while Florence wrestled with her future. On one hand, Bess felt incredibly sorry for the girl. On the other, she was incredibly bored and wished she'd just pick a house already.

"RAVENCLAW!" shouted the sorting hat, and she clapped politely along and shifted uncomfortably in her seat, wondering how many students were left.

As she looked down the table to count who was still standing at the front, she realised she was being watched.

Her brown eyes met a pair of grey ones and she couldn't help the smile which came over her face. She sent Sirius a quick wave before looking over his head and counting five students.

Once she'd completed her count she yawned and turned to watch a man inside a portrait run through six frames before disappearing behind a large tree.

When she looked back to the front as "Truppence, Matilda" was put in "HUFFLEPUFF", she realised with a shiver that Sirius was still watching her, his expression was neutral but his eyes were narrowed slightly.

With a quick look around, she noticed that some people had begun to look between the two of them, probably trying to work out two things - who she was, and why Sirius Black was staring at her so intently.

"What?" she mouthed at him with a shrug and a frown.

"Hufflepuff?" he mouthed back with a cock of the head to indicate that this was a question, rather than a statement.

Bess shrugged and began to clap as "Velmore, Jeffery" was followed swiftly by "GRYFFINDOR".

James, who was sitting next to Sirius but hadn't noticed that his friend had been staring at the wrong end of the table, turned to say something to Sirius and stopped.

Following Sirius' gaze, James' eyes flickered to hers. Bess smiled at him as he, too, raised an eyebrow.

Suddenly, she felt as though the entire table was staring at her. In fact, she was mistaken - most of three tables were staring at her.

Their gazes only left her as Dumbledore stepped forwards once more.

"Welcome! Welcome to our newest students! Hogwarts is richer for your presence in its hallowed halls!

"Now, before we begin our feast, I would like to get some introductions out of the way.

"Please join me in welcoming Professor Selket, who will be taking over the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts Professor this year!" Dumbledore swept a hand out to indicate a rather jolly looking wizard with a large belly, who was dressed in bright blue robes.

He won't be here long... Bess thought to herself as she clapped politely at Selket, who had managed to stand, but was now swaying heavily from side to side as if he'd already drunk an entire bottle of wine.

"As you all know, this post is needed now, more than ever, and I implore you all to listen to Professor Selket's expertise. A recently retired Auror, he has done us a great kindness in agreeing to teach this year."

Bess felt terrible - she could only imagine the things the man had had to see in the line of duty - she understood why he might need a little dutch courage now.

She looked down at her plate and pursed her lips as the thought of Delbert and Jasper and their first meeting - how affected they'd been by what they'd seen the night she was saved from death.

Her head snapped up again, this time in shock, when Dumbledore began to speak once more.

"It is also my great pleasure to introduce a new student within our ranks. You may have noticed a new face sitting at the Gryffindor table," he said as he swept a hand towards her and held her gaze. "Miss Bess Coulson will be joining our sixth years.

"As a testament to what can be achieved through hard work and determination, she has earned a place to study her NEWTs with us.

"I'm sure you will all make her feel welcome and ensure that she arrives at her classes in one piece," he finished, looking over his glasses at the Gryffindor sixth and seventh years.

"Bess? If you would be so bold..."

Bess gulped. The blood had drained from her face as he'd spoken and her armpits had begun to sweat. She nodded quickly before standing for a second, raising a hand in a mini-wave, and sitting back down. She barely registered the clapping which followed her bop.

"And on that cheery note, let the feast... begin!" As he swept his hand across the room, food appeared as if from nowhere.

Bess simply stared at the pile of mashed potatoes in front of her, suddenly incredibly aware of all the eyes which were fixed on her.

"Hi! I'm Grace Bowmarket, seventh year," came a kind voice from her left.

Bess turned to the girl next to her and smiled.

Sensing Bess' intense discomfort, Grace continued, "I didn't think I'd seen you around but thought it was just me being a prat!

"Do you mind if we induct you in to our group for the rest of dinner? It's been a while since we've had anything new to talk about and if I have to hear Bartie talking about the correct way to pot a mandrake one more time I think I'll just explode!"

Bess grinned. "Thank you. That'd be great."

"Perfect! Look boys and girls! We've got a new one!"

A mini cheer erupted from the five witches and wizards sat around Grace. Indicating each one in turn, Grace introduced the group.

"This is Bartholemew "Bartie" Oakwood, Merritt Evergreen, Lucy Elm, Amarella Bucks, and Scott Rubis," Grace said, as Bess nodded and waved at each of the older students as they said words of welcome, waved, and grinned at her in return.

"So, what're you going to study this year?" a rather tired looking boy with long brown hair who had been identified as Merritt, asked as he piled pie onto his plate.

Amarella, as she had been introduced, rolled her eyes and said "Oh come on Met, she just got here! Ask her something more original!"

"Right... uh... got a special fella back home?"

Bess laughed along with the group as Lucy smacked him on the back of the head and reminded him very sternly that he couldn't ask things like that in front of her as she was, he should remember, his girlfriend.

"I didn't mean for me!" was his only defence. It only made Lucy glare more, and the group laugh harder.

"Can you tell they've been going out since fourth year?" asked a deep voice from in front of her. "I know Grace already said, but I'm Scott."

Bess grinned as Scott shot her a cheery, dimpled smile. She couldn't help but notice that he was... incredibly good looking.

He had brown hair which was short at the back and sides and sat longer on the top. His blue eyes shone as he smiled at her, and, she noticed, he'd already undone the top button of his shirt, loosened his tie, removed his outer robe and rolled up his sleeves.

He looked, in a word, dashing.

Bess bit her lip and returned his smile before her attention was grabbed by Grace once more.

xXx

Bess still couldn't quite come to terms with the fact that she was in a 16 year old's body when in her mind she was 20, so had decided upon a rule for any romances she might encounter in this world - overage wizards only.

The closer to her age the better.

So, when she'd found herself having a one on one conversation with Scott over puddings, she'd made sure to ask "when's your birthday?"

"Five days! Can't believe I'm going to be eighteen! Merlin... eighteen... Could you stand to be around such an old man?" he asked, winking at her.

Bess blushed and ducked her head before spearing a piece of carrot cake with her fork and looking back up at him.

"I'm sure I could make an exception for the right person..." she flirted before popping the cake in her mouth with a smile.

"You're in sixth year, so that would make you... sixteen?"

Bess nodded and took a swig of her pumpkin juice. She was glad she had as when she put her goblet back on the table, all of the food disappeared.

"And your birthday is..." he asked.

Bess smiled and let out a small laugh, "October twenty-third."

"Ah... That's not too bad... Not much of an age difference there really!"

You have no idea, she thought.

Scott raked a hand through his hair and gulped before continuing, "Uh-I know we've only just met, but I was going to ask if you wanted to maybe go to the fir-"

Scott was interrupted by Dumbledore's voice.

Bess, who was quite oblivious to what Scott had been about to ask her, turned to face the front.

"Before I send you all off to a well deserved slumber ahead of classes tomorrow," Dumbledore smiled as a collective groan filled the room. "I have a few start-of-term notices.

"As always, the Forbidden Forest is... well... Forbidden. I would ask that students please refrain from entering it without... a valid reason..."

Dumbledore looked over at the Marauders as he said this.

"Mr Filch, our caretaker, has also asked me to remind you that magic is not to be used in the corridors, and that jokes and tricks from Zonko's magic shop are banned this year due to a number of incidents last year."

The hall filled with laughter.

"And so, I leave you with these final parting words - sleep well."

The scrape of benches as students scrambled up to race back to their dormitories was almost deafening to Bess, who was unprepared for the mad dash.

"Stay with me!" she heard Grace shout.

Bess jumped up and pushed into the crowd in front of her.

Just as she was beginning to think she'd lost her new friends, a hand grabbed Bess' sleeve.

She felt herself pulled through the crowd and up the main staircase.

At last, she was dragged out of the throng of students and into a near deserted corridor.

"Alright?"

Bess looked up to see Sirius standing in front of her.

Chapter Text

"Hi," Bess replied slowly, looking around to see that the corridor was now completely empty save for the two of them. She had no idea where she was.

When she looked back at him, she suddenly felt vulnerable under his gaze - he wasn't smiling and it was as though he'd put on a mask - his expression was unnaturally blank.

When he finally spoke again, Bess was surprised by his words.

"You've been lying to me." He said coolly.

"What? When?" Bess asked, frowning.

She was genuinely confused. Thus far she hadn't outwardly lied to him about anything.

"Hufflepuff? The Who? What did you do? Ask around about me before you got here so you could get to me?"

"Oh please!" Bess felt her bubble of contentment and happiness at being at Hogwarts burst.

It was like her feelings had been held in a dam and Sirius had just blown it up.

She already spoke to him as if he were an old friend, and he was acting like an immature prat... so she began to argue with him like he was an old friend too.

"First, I never lied to you. You assumed I was a student and I just didn't correct you.

"Second, yes, I was wearing Hufflepuff robes when I took my exams, but do you really think people would have been able to concentrate on their OWLs if some random muggle-born was sat in their midst?

"Third, you're the poser who wore a Muggle band t-shirt so he could look cool. Who were you trying to impress, Sirius? Huh? Who?

"And..." she looked up in the air and began to count on her hand. She'd forgotten what number she was up to.

"Fourth?" Supplied Sirius with a small smile as if trying not to laugh.

"Yes. Thank you. And fourth. What's your problem?"

Sirius, who had crossed his arms and leant back against the wall, was looking down at her as if appraising her, the small smile still playing on his face.

Bess, on the other hand, had her hands on her hips and was glaring at him.

"Why aren't you saying anything?" She snapped.

"Why're you dressed like a boy?"

"I-" Bess had expected him to argue with her. "I- What?"

"You're wearing trousers. Why?"

"I-" She looked down at her legs. "They're comfortable..."

"I've never seen a girl wearing school trousers before."

"So?" She asked, lifting her chin and raising an eyebrow.

"They actually suit you."

"Uh- thanks."

He cocked his head to the side and said "come with me."

Kicking off wall, he began to walk down the corridor, slipping his hands into his pockets as he went.

"What? I- I- Wait! Come with you where?"

Sirius turned to face her, now walking backwards down the long corridor. "Common room. Or do you want to sleep here tonight?"

Bess frowned as he swung back round.

She watched him for a moment before running after his retreating figure.

"What was that about?" She asked as she caught up with him.

He looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

"Well?"

He sighed deeply and stopped walking as they came to a large tapestry on the wall. Pulling it back to reveal a large hole in the wall, he slipped inside.

Bess frowned at the expanse of wall he'd just disappeared into and watched as the tapestry fell back in place.

As much as she wanted to follow him down the passageway and get lost in the castle as he showed her how to get to the common room, she was oddly annoyed with him, and just wanted to be alone.

However, she realised as she looked around again, she really didn't know where she was.

Just as she was about to ask a portrait for directions, the tapestry moved again. Sirius popped his head out and glared at her.

"What are you doing?"

"Asking for directions." She replied coolly. Just as coolly in fact, as he had spoken to her just a few minutes previously.

"Will you just follow me?" He asked impatiently as he stepped out into the corridor again.

"Why? So you can call me a liar again? No thanks." She replied, stepping closer to her chosen portrait. "Excuse me sir, could you tell me how to get to the Gryffindor tower please?"

She addressed a particularly smiley young knight within the frame. Before he could answer, Sirius spoke again.

"You don't even know the password to get in. Even if you made it there without me, you'd be locked out."

"Fine. Sir," she said, addressing the portrait again. "Could you tell me how to get to Professor McGonagall's office?"

"Minnie's office? You'd rather disturb her than let me take you back to the common room?"

"Right now? Yes."

Bess didn't know why she was acting like this. It was like months and months of emotions were fuelling her anger.

"You know, you can be really insufferable, don't you?" he said.

Bess turned to look at him and found herself toe to toe with Sirius. He'd bent down slightly to catch her gaze and Bess realised that she could have leant forwards and kissed him if she'd wanted to, they were that close.

"Me? You're probably the most stubborn and reckless person I know!"

"Must not know too many people then."

"Not anymore, no."

In that moment she realised how ridiculous she was being, and her anger disappeared.

"Sorry. I just- look-"

"It's fine. Girls get... emotional sometimes."

Before she knew what was happening, she began to laugh. Emotional? He had no idea.

The ridiculousness of the situation overwhelmed her and she continued to laugh for over a minute.

When she stopped and straightened, wiping her eyes, Sirius had a massive smile on his face.

"What?" She asked with a nervous giggle.

"Nothing. Just-" he paused for a moment before continuing. "I don't think I've ever had a fight with a girl where she's laughed at the end."

"Had many fights with girls?" She asked curiously.

He shrugged. "A few."

"I'm too old for this teenage drama stuff, honestly," Bess said. It was far truer than he'd ever know.

Perhaps that's why she laughed - because at the end of the day she was arguing with a teenage boy.

"Pfft. You are a teenager!" He replied.

She was about to respond when she heard a meow and felt something brush her leg.

"Oh shit. Filch." Sirius said, looking around.

"What?" She asked, looking down at a cat that couldn't be Mrs Norris. Or could it?

Suddenly she heard a clatter from behind her and Filch came barreling round the corner.

"Aha! I knew I shouldn't trust you! Hanging round with this one already?" He addressed her.

"Oh come off it Filch! We're on our way back to the common room and we've got..." Sirius checked his watch, "ten minutes until we're past curfew."

"Maybe... But it'll take you longer than that to get back up there... Looks like your little first-night-back-canoodle will cost you a weeks worth of detentions!"

"Excuse me, no one was canoodling here!" Bess replied indignantly, trying to keep the blush off her face.

"Maybe, maybe not. But I'm still writing you up." Came Filch's reply.

"Well... You can't write us up until we're past curfew, can you?" She asked quietly. "So... What happens if we do make it back in time?"

"What?"

"Well you can't keep us here if it's before curfew and you can't write us up until after curfew, so what's to stop us getting back in the..." She looked to Sirius and motioned for the time.

"Nine." Sirius supplied.

"Thanks. Nine minutes we have left?" Turning to Sirius, she asked "Do you think we could do it?"

"Maybe... How fast can you run?"

"I'm wearing trousers aren't I?"

Sirius grinned and turned to Filch.

"If we don't get back by curfew, I'll gladly turn us both in. If we do... Well, you'll look a bit stupid won't you?"

He motioned to Bess and they started to run down the darkened corridor.

They didn't dodge into the tapestry and she realised it must be a shortcut Filch didn't know about.

Within two minutes, Bess' lungs felt like they were going to explode. She'd been taking regular long walks in London since she was released from hospital, but they hadn't prepared her for this.

"Here!" Sirius cried as he dodged sideways and pulled open a portrait to reveal a set of stairs.

Why stairs?! She thought as she ran up them, taking two at a time.

As he flung open the exit portrait, Bess heard students ahead of them.

"Move!" Sirius bellowed as he grabbed Bess' arm and pulled her through the students. "Almost there!" He shouted as he let her go.

The sea of students parted, students jumping back to the sides of the corridor to watch them run past.

"You won't make it!" Called Filch's voice from somewhere behind them.

They'd taken a short cut but Bess was definitely slowing Sirius down. She was sure he could have been back before now, but he'd been slowing down so she wouldn't fall behind.

Bess also wondered how much Filch must hate Sirius if he was allowing all of these other students to walk slowly to the tower but threatening him with detention.

"Oi, Moony! Get the portrait hole would you?" Sirius called, but Remus hadn't heard - Bess could see him ahead of them. He was talking to a first year.

Prefect duties.

"MOONY!" Bess yelled.

Remus' head snapped up at the sound of a girl's voice yelling his name and his eyes widened as Sirius almost barrelled into him.

"Password, mate! Hurry!"

"Oh, uh... Mimble wimble." Remus said.

The portrait swung open and Sirius and Bess practically fell inside.

Bess, in fact, barely managed to get over the threshold before she fell to the ground and rolled on to her back, gasping for air.

Sirius, who was bent over, hands on his knees, checked his watch and let out a breathless "made it."

Bess grinned up at the ceiling. She hadn't had that much fun since she'd raced her university housemate back to their house after a particularly drunken night out.

"And just what do you think you're doing, Black?" Asked a stern voice from above Bess.

She couldn't help herself, and replied "I'm actually mixed race."

"Oh- uh- no, I- uh- I" stammered the girl.

Bess stood up slowly and removed her outer robe as Sirius laughed breathlessly.

"She meant me."

"What?" Bess feigned ignorance.

"My name's Sirius Black."

"Oooh!" She pretended to have a moment of realisation. "Oh. I'm Bess. Though, I thought your name was Pads?" She asked, trying not to smile as she used his nickname.

"No. Only my close friends call me that." He replied.

"Ah. Sorry. Didn't realise."

He waved at her as if to say 'don't worry about it'.

"Bess?" Asked the girl.

"That's me."

"Lily. Nice to meet you." Said the girl, holding out a hand.

Bess realised that the beautiful redhead in front of her was, of course, Lily Evans.

She had medium length hair which fell just beyond her shoulders, and stunning green eyes. Harry's eyes.

"Sorry about all that, Evans. Coulson-"

"Bess."

"Sorry?"

"Coulson's my dad, not me. My name's Bess. I'd prefer it if you used it."

As much as Bess was happy to be called Miss Coulson, and happy to know that her parents here had been kind, she was still reminded immediately of her father when Sirius said "Coulson", and she hated it.

"Alright," said Sirius, a smile growing on his face. "Bess was a little lost. Filch found her and threatened detention, so we ran for it."

"It was my idea to run. Sorry." She added, making sure Lily knew who to blame for the student pushing that had occurred.

"Oh, well... I guess- I guess that's ok then." Lily replied with a frown on her face. "Why were you two together?"

Bess wanted to say 'Sirius and I met a while ago. He's been a pain in my side for months now.' but instead she said -

"I don't know, guess we just bumped into each other."

Lily looked between the two as if she could see through Bess' lie, before nodding slowly. "Well... I'd steer clear of him if you want to stay out of trouble... Or detention."

"Evans, you wound me!" Sirius joked. "Seen James?"

"Ugh. He's around here somewhere. He walked up with Remus and me. We were trying to get the first years here safely and he was just complaining that you'd run off."

"Are you... Are you in my year?" Bess asked slowly, trying not to give away that she knew that Lily was.

Lily nodded and grinned at her, adding "yup!"

"Do you know where I'll be sleeping..?"

"Oh! Of course! Follow me!" She said with a smile, before turning to Sirius with a frown, "and you. I want no funny business from either of you two tonight. We all have classes in the morning."

"Yes mum." Replied Sirius with a laugh as he walked over to an armchair and fell onto it.

Bess waved quickly at him and muttered a "thanks," before following Lily. As she came to the door leading to the girls' dormitories, she let out an involuntarily loud cry of "more stairs?!"

She could hear a rather loud bark of laughter ring out behind her as she groaned and began to climb.

xXx

"So here we are! This is you," Lily said, pointing to the bed nearest the door, before pointing in turn to each of the remaining beds. "Next is Mary's, then Joanne's, mine, Skye's and then finally, Solstice.

"The other Gryffindor girls are in the dormitory across the landing."

"Awesome. Thanks," Bess said, smiling at Lily, "I'll admit, I'm definitely going to forget everyone's names, especially if there are more than five other girls!"

Lily laughed. "It'll take a few weeks, it did for us all as well, but you'll get it."

"I hope so. I- I think I'm a little apprehensive about all of this now..."

"Really?"

"What if... what if I don't... I don't know... what if I don't fit in?"

"Oh come on! You just ran into the common room with Sirius Black, avoided detention from Filch, and you're a new sixth year. You've got spirit and I think you'll fit right in!" Lily said with a smile.

"I- I don't- Uh- I-" Bess stammered. "I guess... it's actually dawning on me this is all... a bit... bigger than I thought it would be."

"Oh. I get that. It can be a bit overwhelming at first, but it'll really be ok. Everyone her-"

Lily was cut off as the door swung open and four girls made their way inside, jumping, sitting or falling on to their beds.

"Lily, James and Sirius are in the common room turning the chairs into frogs..."

"For god's... Right. Everyone, this is Bess. Bess, this is... everyone." Lily waved between the girls frantically before walking back across the room. Turning to Bess as she reached the door, she added, "I'll be right back, I just have to make sure Potter puts everything back!"

As the door swung shut behind Lily, Bess waved shyly at the girls.

"Don't mind that. I should probably warn you - Potter's got a thing for Lily. He's always trying to get her attention with stupid stuff. She pretends she hates it, but..." Smirked a girl with long brown hair and winged glasses.

The girls all giggled.

"I'm Skye by the way," she added with a little wave.

One by one, they introduced themselves and soon enough Bess found herself in her pyjamas, sitting cross legged on the end of her bed, wolfing down Bertie Bott's Every Flavoured Beans and gossiping the night away.

xXx

The next morning Bess got ready with the other girls and walked to breakfast as a group.

As they approached the Great Hall, Bess noticed Snape hanging around outside the entrance. He seemed paler than she'd seen him before the summer.

"That's Severus. He's... was my best friend," Lily whispered to Bess as Snape stared at them, before raising her voice and saying to the group, "just keep walking. I don't want to talk to him and he knows it."

Bess almost felt sorry for him. His face fell as Lily passed without so much as a wave.

She wondered what he had called Lily. She thought it must have been bad for her to cut all ties in their friendship, and she knew it happens during Snape's Worst Memory, but try as she might, she just couldn't remember what it was.

"It's really for the best. You should have heard what he called her last year." Solstice said when she noticed Bess was still looking at the boy. "It was really awful. Lily tried a lot but... sometimes you just have to let go."

"I can't imagine how hard it's been." Bess replied as the group sat down halfway down the table.

"Summer was tough. We live near each other..."

Bess reached over and gave Lily's hand a quick squeeze before pulling back and reaching for the orange juice.

For a second she was worried it was a bit odd that she'd done that, but she'd done it instinctively. Luckily, Lily just sent her a smile before tucking in to her own breakfast.

As Bess lifted her goblet to her mouth, Skye leaned over and grabbed her arm. "Oh. I'd stick to the water this morning if I were you... I heard Lupin say something about messing with the drinks for the first day back."

All of the girls who'd already poured their drinks groaned loudly and began to look around for spare goblets.

With a quick evanesco, Bess emptied her cup and cast aguamenti to fill it with untainted water. She thought it would probably be safest to stick to her own liquids for now.

"You can cast aguamenti already?" Asked a surprised Joanne, holding out her goblet to Bess.

"Uh- yeah... It's honestly not that impressive. I still can't cast loads of spells, and I'm terrible with theory stuff!" Bess said as she set about vanishing all of their drinks and pouring water into the goblets.

"Still! I'm more into the theory side." Continued Joanne. "It takes me ages to work out how to do some spells. I'm surprised I managed to pass any of my OWLs!"

Bess laughed along with the girls and took a swig of her goblet as someone approached them.

"Morning ladies!"

Bess looked up to see Scott standing there with the group she'd been sitting with the night before.

Bess grinned and waved to the group enthusiastically before turning back to Scott. He blushed furiously as she smiled at him.

"Morning! How are you?" She asked.

"Uh- good... We uh- we were wondering who you're sitting with at lunch... fancy joining us?"

"Yeah! That'd be great. Thanks!" Bess grinned as he nodded, scratched the back of his head, and then walked back to his group who had sat down a little way down the table.

"Excuse me... What was that?" Asked Skye as the girls descended into giggles.

"What?" Bess asked with a frown.

"Scott Rubis just asked you if you wanted to sit with him at lunch! That's like... that's like... Ugh, I don't even know! You're so lucky!" Solstice replied.

Bess tried not to laugh. She'd forgotten all about school gossip, romances and the 'new kid' effect.

She was about to reply and say it wasn't like that, when McGonagall walked up to them with a stack of parchment in her hand.

"Good morning ladies. Who'd like to start?"

After everyone else had chosen their subjects and received their timetables, it was finally Bess' turn.

"Uh- Charms... Defence Against the Dark Arts... Potions... History of Magic and... Transfiguration..." She was suddenly terrified that the Professor would tell her there'd been a mistake and she couldn't actually study any of the subjects.

In fact, Professor McGonagall did give her a look, but she didn't say anything as she checked her notes thoroughly before asking "are you sure?"

"Yes professor."

"I won't accept any stragglers in my class."

"I understand, Professor."

McGonagall pursed her lips but nodded before tapping the timetable and handing it over.

Bess let out a sigh of relief as McGonagall left and she handed Lily her timetable to compare.

After a second, Lily looked up, grinning and said "Far out! We have double Potions, then break, then double Defence together! I think you're going to love Slughorn. He's so nice!"

"Yeah, if you're you!" Complained Solstice. "Honestly, I think he thinks the sun shines out of Lily's arse. He's never given me a second look because I'm just OK at potions and not merlin's gift to the subject."

"Oh shut up. I'm not that good." Lily said, blushing and tucking her hair behind her ear.

Even Bess rolled her eyes at that.

"I think most of the boys in our year hate him." Said Solstice.

"So what? He's not everyone's cup of tea, but he's a good teacher and-" argued Lily.

Solstice cut over Lily, waving a butter knife around as she said "just make sure you're either good at the subject, or have gossip he can spread, basically."

Lily glared, and turned to Bess, saying "ugh. Look. He really is harmless. Does he like to gossip? Yes... But..." Lily trailed off as the other girls stared at her. "Oh shut up." She added as they began to laugh again.

xXx

As Lily led her down to the dungeons, Bess became increasingly apprehensive of her first lesson.

Slughorn was notoriously loud and gossipy, and she wondered how long it would take him to mention what had happened to lead to her joining the school.

She had promised to buy herself a new pair of boots if he gave her life story away within the first half of the lesson. If he managed to wait until the second half, she'd buy a new dress.

As they reached the classroom, she realised just how few students were progressing from OWL to NEWT with Potions. Only Lily and herself had chosen to take the subject out of the 12, now-13, Gryffindor girls, and from the Gryffindor boys it seemed that only Sirius, Remus, James, and one other boy had continued as well.

To add to their number there were six Hufflepuffs and two Slytherins including Snape.

There was apparently an entire seperate class filled with Ravenclaws, as it fit their timetables better and 15 had applied to continue.

"The boys will all be late as usual, but don't let them distract you as they come in." Whispered Lily as they reached the classroom. "Unfortunately Slughorn let's them get away with murder."

The door flew open and Slughorn came striding out. Standing just outside the room, he greeted each student in turn, none more enthusiastically than Lily.

When the redhead stepped forwards, he'd clasped her hands in his and said, "Aha! Come in! Come in! Lily! Welcome back! Welcome back! We have missed you so!"

Even Bess smiled. Lily moved to the doorway and waited as Slughorn turned to Bess - now the only student left to go inside.

Just as she stepped forwards, Sirius, James and Remus came running down the hall, robes falling off their shoulders, and in James' case, glasses eschew.

"Boys!" He called, turning quickly to the boys and wagging a finger in their direction. "Late as usual! But we'll ignore it as it's the first day, eh? Just don't make a habit of it!

"Now," he said, turning back to Bess. "Yes! Young Miss Coulson! Well! I was saddened when you didn't join my house! It would have been quite a coup!

"A new sixth year student and a muggle-born! Well, that in itself is impressive, but add in your circumstances... Well... Absolutely brilliant.

"Tell me. Did you meet Healer Fifes during your stint in St. Mungos? Taught him myself! Though he's more into poisons than trauma..."

Bess didn't know what to say as he rambled on. Part of her wanted to yell at him to stop but the other part of her could barely breathe and felt immobilised as he continued.

She'd known he would gossip about her, and as much as she'd prepared mentally for this moment, it was more taxing on her than she'd assumed it would be - she'd never had to hear her situation spoken about by someone else in such an off hand manner before.

"And Auror Serpen? The Daily Prophet said he was one of the first on the scene. Saved you did he? Terrible business, truly terrible... But he was Head Boy you know, truly gifted student. Only left us three years ago!

"I remember saying to him, Jasper m'boy, you'll do great things, gr-"

"Professor, I- I think it's time to start the class, don't you?" Lily cut across.

Bess had the feeling only she could have gotten away with interrupting him when he was in the flow.

"Ah yes of course! We have a brilliant lesson in store today! Come on in, come on in!" Slughorn cried before turning around and sweeping back into the classroom.

Lily reached over and held Bess' elbow, leading her through the class to a group of five cauldrons near the front.

Bess didn't look up as the three Gryffindor boys joined them, though she could feel their gazes on her.

"Don't." Warned Lily, but Bess didn't look up to see who Lily was talking to - she was staring into her cauldron with tear filled eyes as she tried to control her breathing.

Finally, after a few minutes, Bess took a deep breath in and looked up slowly.

She hadn't missed any of the class luckily, as Slughorn was still chatting to his favourite Hufflepuff student.

"Sorry." She breathed out, shaking her head and schooling her features into an indifferent expression.

Lily, who had been rubbing Bess' arm, simply smiled at her and said "don't worry. You ok?"

Bess smiled and nodded. "Yeah." She wanted to change the subject, so plastered a smile on her face and said "so! Does Slughorn wear a different tie for every lesson?"

"Oh yeah. Slughorn loves his bow ties." Lily replied.

"Ten to one odds he wears a red tie one day this week." Bess whispered.

"I'll take those odds," said Remus from across from her as he leaned forwards in his seat.

Looking around, Bess noted that Lily was sat next to James, Sirius was next to Bess, and Remus was sat by the cauldron in front of her.

"One Knut? Two?" Bess asked, smiling at him.

"With those odds? And what I know of Sluggie? I'll go for one Knut. Otherwise I'm just throwing my money away!

"And... feels funny to say this since we've spoken before, but I'm Remus. Remus Lupin."

"Hi," Bess replied, smiling and holding out her hand. "Bess. Nice to meet you properly this time!" They shook hands quickly as Slughorn began the class.

Chapter Text

By the time class had properly begun, Bess felt one hundred times better – she'd even forgotten that the Marauders and Lily now knew some of her past.

Slughorn had, as Bess had predicted, started his class by pointing to three different cauldrons, and asking what potions were in each.

Lily, James and Snape had answered for each of them – Veritserum, Polyjuice Potion, and Amortentia, earning Gryffindor 40 points, and Slytherin 20.

"What do you smell?" Asked Lily, whispering to Bess as Slughorn explained the background of Amortentia.

Bess took a deep inhale, and closed her eyes to focus on the smell. It was intoxicating, and she felt a serene smile come over her face.

"Hmm… I'm not sure. I smell… books I think… library books… and… ooh chocolate… and… firewhiskey I think… and… mud? No, a rainy day? No, it's… musty… like…" Bess opened her eyes and frowned. "I don't know, it's more of a feeling than a smell I guess. Like running or walking in a forest while it's raining or something…"

Lily grinned at her.

Bess looked around the room quickly, to see other people stopping to smell the potion as well.

She saw Sirius shift in his seat out of the corner of her eye and turned to look at him.

He seemed to have leant in closer to her. She frowned at him and she thought that his eyes widened for a moment before he leant back, putting his feet up on the table in front of him.

After a second, he raised an eyebrow at her and mouthed "what?". She shook her head slightly and turned back to Lily.

"What did you smell?" she asked quietly.

"Books as well, ink, something sugary, and I think something woodsy, but I can't be sure what it was…" whispered Lily in reply, a light blush staining her pale cheeks.

Bess wondered if the last one was James after a quidditch match. She was just about to lean over and ask the boys what they smelt when Slughorn began explaining about his fourth potion – Felix Felicis!

"Enough for twelve hours' luck!" Slughorn said.

"And it works with anything?" Asked James brightly.

Bess had the impression he was trying not to look at Lily as he spoke.

If he had, he would have seen her blush darken and spread from her neck to the top of her head.

Bess tried not to laugh as Lily coughed and suddenly found the contents of her bag very interesting.

"Yes! I dare say any endeavour will be successful!" Slughorn bellowed. "Now… I'm sure the question on everyone's minds is… how will you win this little potion, eh?"

As he began to explain the potion they'd be brewing – The Draught of Living Death - Bess found herself deep in thought about what she was about to do.

Although she hadn't wanted to rely too much on any information she had from outside the books in regards to her classes, she had guessed that Slughorn wouldn't have changed his sixth year class plan, and so had been attempting to recreate this potion during her summer holidays.

It had taken her no time at all to remember some of the tips, like crushing the Sopophorous beans with the side of a silver knife, but it had taken her three weeks to perfect the seven counter clockwise turns followed by one clockwise.

"Well," Slughorn continued, clapping his hands and looking around happily, "if you'd all turn to page ten of your books, we have just under an hour left! But remember, only an acceptable Draught of Living Death will win Felix! Off you go!"

Bess was about to join the rush towards the store cupboard when she stopped.

Is this unethical? She wondered. But I really could use the potion… Especially if I end up staying and need to find some horcruxes…

She was still wrestling with her conscience as her table mates returned.

"Bess! What're you doing?" Lily hissed, as she dropped her ingredients on her bench.

"Oh, sorry…" Bess replied, absentmindedly before trapesing off in the direction of the store cupboard.

By the time she returned to her bench, Bess was about five minutes behind everyone else.

Sirius, who didn't seem to be bothered by the prize, was lazily adding his ingredients to his cauldron. In stark contrast, James, Lily and Remus seemed to be speeding ahead.

Lily and James seemed to be the more confident potioneers – they were adding ingredients skillfully, and seemed to be interpreting the instructions as they went along. Remus and Sirius were following word for word.

"Bess, really!" Lily hissed again, staring at Bess with wide eyes.

"Jesus, sorry." Bess replied, coming back to reality and beginning to brew her potion.

Around fifty minutes later, Bess felt awful. Her potion was as clear as water – perfect.

The others around her table had reached light colours, but none were clear.

Just as the thought of vanishing her potion and saying something had gone wrong entered Bess' mind, Slughorn arrived at their table.

Her wand was sitting on her bench, but now that all eyes were on Sirius, James, Lily, Remus and her cauldrons, she wouldn't be able to do anything without someone noticing the intent behind her actions.

Nerves began to rise in her, butterflies filled her stomach and she felt like she might throw up. She'd cheated, and was cheating someone out of a potion they deserved!

"Aha! A very good attempt, James, very good indeed! I dare say you might have this one in the bag!" Slughorn said, clapping James on the back. "I'm sure your father will be proud!

"Yes, a lovely brew from you as well, Lily. I would expect nothing less from my star student," he said, winking at a blushing Lily who ducked her head, a small smile on her lips.

He nodded politely at Sirius and Remus' attempts – for some reason neither were in his good books as much as James. Probably, Bess thought, to do with Remus' lycanthropy and Sirius' disinheritance earlier that year.

"Ah Miss Coulson. Let's see what you've come up with, shall we?" He asked as he squeezed between two tables to get to her cauldron. "I was surprised you were taking the class, only receiving an acceptable, but when Dumbledore himself recomme- MERLIN'S BEARD!"

As he'd been speaking, Bess' butterflies had dissipated and been replaced with a cold feeling. She wondered how much Dumbledore had been at liberty to tell Slughorn.

If he was throwing all of this information about her around like it was nothing, would any of her information be safe?

"A perfect brew. How on earth did you only get an acceptable, dear girl!" He cried, clapping her on the shoulder so hard that she was propelled forwards. She managed to put her hands out in time to stop herself from colliding with her cauldron.

That would have been a disaster.

At first, Bess wasn't going to reply, but then she realised that not only was everyone in the room staring at her, but Slughorn was nodding eagerly for her to add something.

"I don't do well with potions theory. I guess I'm just more of a do-er." She replied hesitantly.

"Well! I dare say I've never been this surprised! Well done Bess, well done!"

Bess grimaced in stead of a smile, and pursed her lips as Slughorn passed over the Felix Felicis.

She didn't deserve this. At first, she'd been so intent on earning the potion, but now that she'd met the people she'd cheated out a prize? She felt dirty.

She avoided everyone's gaze as they packed up and left the dungeons, and the group only spoke again once they reached the entrance hall.

"So er… who's got Defence next?" Remus asked slowly.

"Bess and I do, think it's a double? Are you with us then?" Lily replied equally slowly.

A little confused as to why everyone was speaking so weirdly, Bess looked up and caught James' eye. He looked away quickly.

They know, she thought guiltily. Before she could stop herself, she'd begun to crack under the guilt.

"Okay, look, I'm sorry! I knew how to brew the draught before the class. That's why I took so long to actually get the ingredients and then… well, I just couldn't mess up my potion since I still needed to impress Slughorn. Because like he said I only got an acceptable on my exam!

"But how about this, I'll share the potion with you all? I do need some of it, but how about I give you all two hours each?

"Or James! You're James right?" She added. She wasn't sure if she should know who he was yet, as no one had formally introduced to him. When James nodded, she continued, "you should have won it? I'll give you half?"

The foursome in front of her, who had been shocked into silence as she spoke, broke into laughter.

"Don't laugh! I feel awful!" Bess cried.

"That's why you've been silent since we left the dungeons?" James asked, breathless from laughter.

"Well, yeah! What did you think?" She replied, eyes wide staring at the laughing teens in front of her.

Lily was the first to recover, and responded in a sad tone, "I don't know… Slughorn let slip some pretty… private things…"

"Oh. Yeah… well I'm trying not to think about that one so much…" Bess replied, looking down and around. "It's… me being here is… complicated."

"Yeah, honestly we assumed that anyway, and then Sirius mentioned you were a muggle-born?" James asked.

"Yeah…"

"Well, just put two and two together really. Didn't peg you for a cheater though…" he said, his tone changing from serious to cheeky in an instant.

"Seriously, I feel awful already. Please don't make me feel worse!"

Sirius wrapped an arm around Bess' shoulders, pulled her into his side and smiled down at her. "It's not cheating if you're the most prepared one in the room! That's how James and I do so well in everything!"

"Honestly, if I didn't study and practice during the holidays I wouldn't be anywhere near as good as everyone thinks I am…" added Lily.

James made a face and cried, "well that's not true! Brightest witch of our age I'd say!"

Lily turned a deeper red than Bess had seen thus far, and 'shush'ed James with an embarrassed smile. When he saw her reaction, James beamed.

Bess grinned at the duo. Little did they know what was in store for them – James would get the girl of his dreams, marry her, and have a baby with her. The last part – dying – wouldn't factor in at all if Bess had anything to do with it.

"Right! Defence?" Lily asked, clearing her throat.

"But we've still got ten minutes of break left!" Sirius complained. His arm, Bess noticed suddenly, was still around her shoulders. She'd forgotten about it as she'd stared at Lily and James.

"Yes, and it'll take us at least that amount of time to get to the third floor. Especially," Lily said as she pushed Sirius' arm off Bess' shoulders and linked the girls' arms, "if I have to make sure Bess gets there safely."

"And what was I going to do exactly? Lock her in a broom closet?" Sirius asked with a wink and a cheeky half smile aimed at Bess.

Bess, who was still repeating he's younger than you, he's younger than you, over and over in her head whenever Sirius got a little too close or she found herself staring a little too much, simply rolled her eyes at the black haired boy.

"Probably! You seem to forget that I know you, Black, and as amicable as I may seem at the moment, you should remember that I pack a punch!" Lily warned.

Even Bess was a little hot under the collar at that one.

"Marry me, Evans?" Asked James sincerely.

Lily rolled her eyes and pulled Bess over to the grand staircase. "I also really need the loo, so we'd better hurry…" she added quietly as they took the stairs two at a time.

Bess laughed and let the smaller redheaded girl lead her to the third floor.

xXx

An hour later, Lily and Bess were sitting at the front of their Defence class, trying to cast various non-verbal spells.

Their teacher, Professor Selket, had walked into the class, looked around, made eye contact with a few students including Bess, and then walked promptly out of the room, apologising and saying that he couldn't take the class that day.

Half the class had left within five minutes, which had left Bess, Lily, Solstice, Mary, Skye, the Marauders, and three Ravenclaws.

They'd all quickly decided to try some non-verbal spells, and Lily had paired immediately with Bess.

When Bess questioned why not one of the other girls, Lily replied with "we're all close, but I spent a lot of time with Severus over the past five years. It means the girls always pair up with each other. I didn't think about it much until we headed to potions and I realised this would be the first time I wasn't sitting with Sev-Snape.

"I'm quite glad you're here now. At least it means it won't be just me and those idiots."

Lily pointed over to the Marauders, who had decided to quadruple up. Sirius was lazily levitating Peter in the air as James threw screwed up pieces of parchment at him to catch. It seemed like a very stupid game of quidditch.

Remus was, of course, reading his book and trying out various charms on a goblet in front of him.

Just as she turned back to Lily, Peter dropped to the floor with a thump and a loud shout of pain which turned into a low groan.

"For god's sake!" Lily cried, standing up and marching over to the boys. "I've told you before, stop playing that ridiculous game! And now look, Peter's hurt!"

Bess, who had followed Lily over, looked down at Peter Pettigrew.

Gulping, she felt a bit sick until she forced herself to remember that at the moment, this boy had done nothing to betray his friends.

Bess had decided months before that if she ever met Peter, she'd try and treat him with respect and kindness until she knew he'd turned to the dark side.

When she knew that he had… she would be ruthless.

It would be hard to treat him kindly, but if she was able to stay in this world for long enough, hopefully it would never come to him choosing Voldemort's side.

Although she was sure she would always hate him, she reasoned that if she could be polite and kind to her abusive father, she could be courteous to someone who hadn't hurt anyone… yet.

Peter looked up at the two girls with watery eyes. His round face was puffy and red, and blood was gushing out of his nose.

Bess couldn't help but feel a bit sorry for him.

Sighing, she crouched down and pointed her wand at his nose as she muttered "Episkey."

She'd seen the spell used a few times by the Healers when she'd been in St Mungos, and they'd explained the theory and practical aspects to her. It was the first time she'd used it on someone who actually had an injury, but miraculously, it worked.

The blood stopped flowing, and Peter's nose popped back to its original position with a snap.

Bess winced and stood up again.

"Thank you! Thank you!" Peter cried, jumping up. "I'm Peter!" he said, eyeing her up.

"Don't drool on her, Pete. Merlin." Came Sirius' voice from behind Peter.

"Says the boy who dropped him on his face!" said Lily angrily.

"Pete didn't mind that, did you Pete?" James asked quickly, trying to get his friend out of trouble.

"Course not! All a bit of fun!" Peter replied, smiling.

Bess frowned at Sirius. "Why'd you drop him?" She asked, putting her hands on her hips.

Sirius was a brilliant wizard and already an animagus. He should have had no trouble keeping that first year spell going.

"Got distracted." He replied, raising an eyebrow at Bess.

Bess pursed her lips and replied, "well… don't do it again, alright? He could've been easily hurt, and you think it's a joke now but you won't be laughing when he's left with a permanent injury because you're all dicking around."

Sirius didn't reply, but narrowed his eyes in annoyance. She knew he knew she was right but he didn't want to admit it.

"Come on, let's go. We've been practicing for ages, we deserve a break." Lily said, pulling Bess away from the boys.

"When's lunch again?" Bess asked hungrily as she packed away her things.

"Twelve. Still got about an hour unfortunately."

"Ooh!" Bess said, suddenly incredibly excited. She began to bounce up and down as she grabbed her bag, "in that case, can we go to the library?"

"For merlin's sake! She's just like Lily!" She heard Sirius say from the back of the room.

Bess shot him a glare and went to follow Lily out of the room.

Just as she got to the door she glanced over at the boys again, and saw Peter was back in the air as James threw parchment at him.

She groaned in annoyance.

Remus, she realised, had switched to a new book and was reading up on what looked like Arithmancy.

She pursed her lips, raised a finger to Lily to say 'one second', and stalked over to Remus. She could feel Sirius' eyes on her as she crossed the room.

"Up." She said shortly, looking down at Remus.

Remus frowned and put down his book. "What?"

"You're coming with us to the library."

"Uh- I don't think-" He began, but Bess held up a finger and cut across him –

"Get your things. I'm not letting these idiots take you down with them."

Remus was about to refuse she was sure, but as he opened his mouth, Lily's voice cut across the room.

"Remus, hurry up or I swear to Merlin…"

His eyes widened and by the time Bess had returned to Lily's side, he was striding across the room towards them.

She barely registered James and Sirius' annoyed shouts of "stop stealing our mate!" and "Moony! You're abandoning us?" as she left the room.

"Have I just got you into trouble with them?" Bess asked as they began to walk down the corridor.

"Nah, I do this all the time. Remus is a very good study partner!" Lily said with a smile.

Remus smiled at them both and readjusted his bag on his shoulder. "It's nice to study in quiet sometimes…"

"What? You don't enjoy studying with the threat of Peter falling on you?" Bess asked, laughing.

And that was how Bess found herself studying in Hogwarts Library with none other than Lily Evans and Remus Lupin.

Chapter Text

"What's up?" Bess asked as she walked up to the Marauders who were sat at the end of the dinner table.

She'd just finished a History of Magic class and had headed to dinner in a haze of boredom and exhaustion. She'd forgotten how tiring a regimented school day could be, especially one which ended with a double lesson taught by a ghost.

She'd also spent most of her brain power scanning through books on time travel in the hour before lunch, and so had barely stayed awake during the class.

"What're you doing?" Peter squeaked as she made a move to sit down.

"Sitting? Isn't that how people eat? Or should I stand up? That might make eating the soup a little harder but I think I could make it work."

Bess could tell Sirius was trying not to laugh, and while a part of her was happy she'd made him smile, another part was worried she'd been too sarcastic.

Remus piped up, "what he means is... we normally eat alone. Especially in the first few days of term." He shrugged apologetically.

Bess' mouth fell into an 'o' shape as she took a step back from the bench.

Bess raised an eyebrow. "Well, that's a shame... because I told Lily I'd sit with her at dinner, and she said she'd sit wherever I did..." Bess said before clicking her tongue and walking towards her dormmates, who were sitting halfway down the table.

She could hear James calling her back, but she ignored him.

She'd been lying about Lily saying she'd sit wherever Bess did, but she was hoping that Lily would back her up.

While Bess was a little hurt that they'd made her move, but, she thought, it would let her have some more bonding time with the Gryffindor girls.

"What was that?" Skye asked Bess as she sat down on the edge of the group and grabbed a roll.

"Peter chucked me out. Said I wasn't allowed to sit with them."

Solstice gave her a smile and a shrug and said "Ah. The rules!"

"The rules?" Bess asked as she leant over to grab a jacket potato.

"First few days of term, the boys all close ranks. They're very... insular. Classes, meals, even in the common room. They use the time to plan their first pranks of the year and get back into the flow of things I think."

"But earlier Remus came to study with Lily and me..." Bess said, quite confused.

"See, that's okay because it was Lily, and because it was during a class." Skye called from the other end of the group.

Bess frowned. "Ok, so it's a 'don't talk to them at all' situation?"

"I guess? We all think it's weird, but it means something spectacular is coming." Jo replied.

Bess pursed her lips as she piled tuna mayonnaise onto her potato and filled her goblet with pumpkin juice.

"Don't worry though, I think you passed the test." Solstice said with a small smile.

"What test?"

"Well... Beatrice Jones was going out with Black for two weeks last year. Pettigrew told her she couldn't sit with them and she sat down anyway. Black broke up with her the next day." Solstice said, while indicating her head over to a brown haired girl sitting at the Hufflepuff table who, by the looks of things, hadn't quite gotten over her break up - she was staring at the back of Sirius' head longingly.

The girls all nodded and either pursed their lips or raised their eyebrows.

"Well that's harsh..." Bess said slowly. "But it's not even like there's anything going on between Sirius and me."

"Oh yeah. Then I guess you passed a test you didn't need to..."

Bess simply rolled her eyes, muttered "ridiculous" and continued to eat.

When Lily arrived in the hall a minute later, she refused James' request that she sit with the boys, saying "I said I'd sit with Bess" and Bess could have kissed her.

"Did they make you move?" Lily asked as she sat down.

"Yes!"

"They're idiots."

Bess grinned and pushed away her now empty dinner plate.

While she waited for the other girls to finish - Bess ate a lot faster than they did - she pulled out a piece of parchment and her History of Magic textbook, deciding she might as well get a head start on the twelve inch essay they'd been set.

She absolutely loved history, and found History of Magic a fascinating subject. That was, she thought as her quill raced across the parchment, why she got an O in the subject.

She'd already skim read most of the textbooks for that year so she easily found the passages she needed to quote and expand upon for the essay.

By the time the girls had finished, Bess had written five inches, and had her finger on a page, copying out a quote.

"And you said you weren't good with theory..." Lily teased. "What was it? You're more of a do-er?"

"Yeah, yeah... history's different though. Writing essays is easy - just use the ol' PEEL and you're away!"

"PEEL?"

"Point. Evidence. Explain. Link to the next paragraph..."

The girls looked at her with blank expressions.

"Blame my Muggle education..." Bess added quickly as she rolled up her parchment and began putting her things in her bag.

"How was lunch with Scott and his gang by the way?" Lily asked with a grin.

Although Lily also took History of Magic as one of her NEWTs, they were in different classes, which meant that Bess was on her own on a Thursday afternoon, and so they hadn't had time to catch up after lunch.

"Ooh yes, pray tell!" Mary said, leaning forwards.

"There's nothing to tell... we all had a lovely lunch and then Scott walked me to my class since I didn't know the way."

The squeal which came from their section of the table was almost deafening.

"It was nothing!" Bess implored.

"What was nothing!?" Sirius imitated.

Bess turned to see Sirius and James standing behind her. Remus and Peter were nowhere to be seen.

"Where're your partners in crime?"

"Places to be, prefecting to be done... Remus took Peter with him so we couldn't get him in trouble. But I'll ask again... What was nothing?"

Bess almost didn't really want to mention her lunch with Scott. As she'd joined his group, she'd looked around to see if the Marauders were there. She'd had butterflies in her stomach at the idea of Sirius seeing her with another boy, even in a group setting.

She didn't know exactly why she felt weird about it all, she just knew that she did.

"Scott Rubis and Bess had lunch together today." Skye stage whispered at the boys.

Bess rolled her eyes at the dramatic way Skye'd said it, and added "it wasn't just with Scott."

"He walked her to her class afterwards!" Skye added quickly.

Bess bit her lip and shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh uh- well..." James seemed like he didn't know what to say.

Bess looked up at the other girls who were staring above her at Sirius and James. Craning her neck, she looked up at the boys.

Sirius's jaw was tensed and he was glaring at the wall behind Lily. Bess frowned and slapped him lightly on the arm, snapping him out of whatever was making him so annoyed.

"What was that for?!" He asked, rubbing his arm.

"Oh come off it, I didn't hit you that hard. What did you come over here for?" Bess asked.

"Oh! That was me. I wanted to formally invite you all to the Gryffindor Quidditch Team Sorting Ceremony!" James replied enthusiastically.

"You mean you want Skye to go to try-outs and for the rest of us to come down and see you hosting try-outs?" Solstice asked.

"Try-outs for what?" Bess asked in mock-curiosity. She'd noticed that James had pinned a gold and red 'C' badge to his robes and assumed that he was Quidditch captain now.

"Quidditch!" James cried.

Bess, who knew what Quidditch was but also wanted to see what happened if she pretended not to, asked "What's Quidditch?"

James' jaw flew open and his glasses slipped to the end of his nose. His eyebrows disappeared into his hair.

"What? What? What?" He sounded like a broken record as his mouth flew open and shut.

Bess took a swig of her drink as she watched his brain explode, before saying "I'm joking. I know what it is, James!"

His mouth shut with a snap and he glared at her. "You're definitely coming to try-outs then. You can keep Sirius company."

"Are you being dragged along too?" She asked, shifting her gaze towards Sirius, who looked bored. He just nodded.

In fact, Sirius didn't look at her or talk to her for the rest of the evening. Even when she bade all of the Marauders good night, all he did was nod in her direction.

Scott, on the other hand, waved at Bess as she walked into the common room, caught her eye and smiled while she laughed with the girls, and came to say goodnight when she moved to go upstairs.

xXx

The next day came and went in a haze of Transfiguration, Charms and more History of Magic.

Flitwick and McGonagall had been impressed with Bess' acumen in their subjects, even though she'd only achieved acceptable in her OWLs, and said that if she was able to keep up her good work, she'd be able to stay in their classes.

To say she'd been proud would have been an understatement.

On Saturday morning, Bess, who had picked out an outfit of black high waisted bell bottom jeans and a long sleeve top, was forced to change by Skye, Solstice and Mary.

Rolling her eyes, she'd allowed them to switch the jeans for a miniskirt, tights and boots. After popping her hair up in a bun and swiping on some eyeliner, she passed their test and was allowed to descend the stairs.

"Absolutely ridiculous. I'm going to freeze." She whispered to Lily as they walked down to the Quidditch pitch after breakfast.

Lily, who'd already headed down to breakfast by the time Bess got out of the shower, had managed to evade the girls, and was dressed very similarly to how Bess was intending.

"They're just trying to bond with you. You look lovely!"

"Yeah, but looking lovely won't keep me warm. Actually maybe if James makes you blush..." she teased, holding her hands out to Lily's face as if warming them by the fire.

Lily shoved her and they laughed as they walked. As they arrived at the pitch they spotted Skye running warm up drills with James.

Peter, Remus and Sirius were already sitting in the stands, a little way away from Solstice, Mary, Jo and a few of the other Gryffindor sixth year girls.

"Don't they get along?" Bess asked, indicating to the boys and girls, as they walked over and began to climb the steps to join the others.

"They do... But there's always been a bit of a divide... I get along well with Remus and can stand to be around the boys... Solstice and Sirius dated in fourth year and they avoid each other now. Her boyfriend gets jealous..." Lily added the last in a stage whisper and Bess answered with a 'yeesh' face.

"That's... interesting... so where do we sit then?" Bess asked as they reached the right level and began to walk along the row of benches towards the groups.

Before Lily could answer, Sirius decided for them. As Bess walked past he grabbed her by the waist and pulled her into the seat next to him.

Lily sent Bess a half smile and Sirius a playful glare, before walking past and sitting a few seats away with the other girls.

"So who wears skirts? Bess or... Daphne?" Sirius asked quietly, still staring down at the pitch.

Bess, who'd been confused by his behaviour, had a moment of clarity - of course her name would be different on the map! But she'd seen James holding it back when they were doing their OWLs. Why hadn't he brought this up before now?

A little part of her was saddened - it had thought that maybe, just maybe, he'd been jealous of her spending time with Scott. Shaking that away, she pursed her lips and paused for a second before replying in a whisper.

"Daphne... this is going to sound ridiculous, but Daphne isn't me. My name here is Daphne Elizabeth Coulson, but as far as I know... as far as I've ever known, I'm Bess. Just Bess. Well, sometimes I'm 'B' as well but that's only to my closest friends.

"When I earned my place here, I asked Dumbledore if I could go by Bess again. I'd been called Daphne for months and was sick of it. It was like I was pretending to be someone I'm not." She paused for a second and looked down at her hands. "I- How did you know that was my name anyway?"

"A friend told me... Why were you Daphne for months?"

Bess pursed her lips again. As much as she felt like she knew Sirius, she really didn't. And she had a decision to make - tell him some of the truth, or lie.

Considering how upset he'd been when he thought she'd lied about herself, she chose: truth.

"I- uh- I-"

"Ok then. Different question. You said you earned a place here. What did you mean?"

"They're connected. I- I was in an..." she let out a frustrated groan and scratched her chin as she stared down at the congregation of Quidditch players. "Something bad happened to me, and I lost my family, my friends, everything. I... I had to relearn a lot of stuff and I- I-"

"That's why you got an acceptable in most of your subjects? Because I've seen you in classes - you're catching on to things quickly. It doesn't make sense that everyone's talking about you only getting A's."

"Yeah. I basically had to teach myself the OWL curriculum from scratch. When we first met in April... do you remember that?"

She saw Sirius nod out of the corner of her eye. "I don't think I've ever been called a prick before..."

"Not to your face maybe..." she replied with a smile. "Well I'd been out of St. Mungos for about a week at that point," Bess continued, now in her stride of admitting truths to him.

Sirius, who had been staring off into the distance, looked up at her sharply. She could feel his eyes boring holes in her cheek as she spoke.

"And I was headed to get a book from Flourish and Blotts. That's around the time I started studying on my own properly.

"I only really had books to help me after I left the hospital... I managed to get some potions bits, but it was harder to get lots of plants to work with and I failed Herbology." She said with a laugh, "pretty spectacularly I might add."

Sirius chuckled lightly. "I heard about your reaction to the Bubotuber."

"That's what that was? It looked awful!" Bess said, a small smile playing on her lips. "How did you hear about that? I didn't think you were there..."

"I have my ways..." He replied secretively.

Bess rolled her eyes and took a deep breath in. "So yeah. I failed Herbology, and found it really tough remembering all of the theory behind things. I managed to get a few decent grades though."

"Which were?"

"Uh- Shit... uh- let me think..." Bess ran a hand up her face and into her hair, smoothing it down on top before squeezing her bun absentmindedly. She cocked her head to the side and frowned. "Charms... I think I got an A. Transfiguration, A... Potions, A... Herbology, P! Defence, E and History of Magic, O."

"Merlin. You did better in some subjects than Pete, and he's been here for five years!" Sirius said with a laugh as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his side. "What about the others?"

"What others?"

"Your other subjects?"

"Sirius... I just told you I only started preparing in April. That's the-"

"Easter bloody holidays! Merlin!"

Bess nodded and finally looked at Sirius. "You've been avoiding me." She said quietly.

Sirius, who had looked back at the pitch, hummed, but otherwise didn't reply.

After a moment he squeezed her shoulder and withdrew his arm so he could reach behind him. He grabbed a bag, from which he pulled a blanket, a flask and two mugs.

"Marauders Quidditch try-out tradition. Hot chocolate laced with firewhiskey. Drink it slow," he said as he began to pour her a large mugful, "and don't get caught."

Grinning, Bess grasped the mug in both hands and, closing her eyes, took a big whiff.

Chocolate and firewhiskey - exactly what she'd smelt in the potions classroom not two days before. With a moan of delight she raised the mug to her lips and took a sip.

"God that's good," she said, opening her eyes and turning to grin at Sirius, who now had a goofy smile on his face.

Bess noted that the smile was different to any she'd seen before - it was pure, unfiltered, and boyish. It warmed her even more to know that she'd put it on his face.

They smiled at each other for a few more moments before he poured himself a mug, handed the flask and bag to Remus, and wrapped the blanket around Bess and himself.

"So... when do I tell James I hate heights?" She asked in a mock whisper.

"You don't."

For the next two hours Bess and Sirius sipped their drinks, chatted, and laughed as James became more and more irate with the Quidditch players trying out.

Finally, when the try-outs were over they went their separate ways. Bess joined Lily in the library where she studied particularly merrily, and Sirius headed off with a very drunk Peter and a very sober Remus to try and commiserate James, who'd barely managed to scrape together a good team.

Over the next week and a half they grew closer, though neither mentioned what Bess had told Sirius in the stands.

Chapter Text

A week and a half after Bess and Sirius started hanging out more, she found herself standing in a hallway talking to a seventh year Hufflepuff boy. She'd been on her way to the courtyard to when she'd been accosted.

Unfortunately for the boy, Bess had become somewhat of a celebrity due to the novelty of her joining the school and so every time he'd tried to say something, he'd been interrupted by someone waving at her, saying good morning, or, in the case of Jo and Skye, walking past giggling loudly and calling out to her to come and find them when she was done.

In fact, Bess' celebrity was such that she hadn't even needed to defend herself from any rogue Slytherins yet. They'd glared in her direction, yes, but otherwise they had nothing to say.

Bess put all of this down to her developing friendship with Sirius - it was now common knowledge that he'd broken the boys' rules by spending time with her at Quidditch try-outs - something he'd apparently never done before. He'd also made an effort to speak to her in the common room, once again breaking the group's rules of closing ranks in the first week of school.

Though, when Bess had asked Sirius his opinion one night as they chatted in the common room, he had put it down to the fact that everyone apart from Lily and the boys thought she was a half- or pure-blood witch.

He'd said, "they just aren't offended by you enough. Not when there're muggle-borns and people like me to terrorise."

"-so, do you think... maybe you'd want to go to Hogsmead with me next month?" The boy asked, cutting through her thoughts.

He'd finally been able to blurt out his question and was now staring at her eagerly.

Bess blushed in embarrassment and looked down just as James and Sirius walked past.

She must have imagined it, but Sirius didn't seem happy. She could see James whispering urgently to him, a serious expression on his face.

Shaking her head slightly, she realised she didn't know what to say - she hadn't been prepared for someone to ask her out.

She'd imagined for a moment during the welcoming feast that Scott would ask her out, but he hadn't said anything. They had had two more lunches with her sitting with his group, and he'd flirted with her shamelessly, but not come close to asking for a date. She wasn't sure if she'd even say yes if he did anymore - they were becoming good friends.

And she wasn't even going to entertain the idea that Sirius liked her in any way other than a friend. He was too young as well... But it was becoming harder for her to ignore how comfortable she felt around him.

"I thought maybe you'd be going with Black but then Falkner asked Gettling for me, and she said you hadn't mentioned anything..."

Bess rolled her eyes internally. Jo Gettling, she thought, so she set this up then? And wait- why did he mention Sirius?

"I'm so sorry. I'm flattered, really," Bess began, watching as the boy's face fell, "but I don't know if I'm even going to go to the Hogsmeade weekend yet. I don't have a signed permission slip."

"You don't need one if you're seventeen!" He said, eagerly, the smile coming back onto his face.

"I'm not turning seventeen until the end of October so I might miss it," she added.

"Well, would you at least think about it for a bit?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I- I don't know..." she continued. "I'm sorry, really. You seem nice, but I don't really know anyone that well yet, and I haven't thought about dating properly yet." She knew she was lying, but she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

He swung his satchel onto his shoulder and said "that's alright. I get it. I do. Just thought I'd ask, you know?" He smiled sadly at her before turning and disappearing into the crowd.

Bess bit her lip and looked after him. She felt bad for turning him down, but something inside her had been shouting at her to say no and go spend time with a certain black haired boy...

However, all thoughts of that went out of her mind when she walked around the corner and came to an abrupt stop.

She couldn't see Sirius, James, Skye or Jo through the crowd of students who were standing around, laughing and watching something in the middle of the courtyard.

Curious, she moved through the gaps in the crowd until she could see more.

She regretted her curiosity immediately.

In front of her stood Sirius and James with a younger Slytherin student on the floor in front of them, his robes dishevelled.

As she watched, he tried to get up but fell over. She frowned deeply.

"Did you really think you could get away with it?" came Sirius' voice, cutting above the laughter of the crowd around her.

"I don't know what you mean," the boy on the ground replied. He'd stopped trying to get up now, and Bess' eyes widened as she realised she couldn't see a wand in his hand.

Eyes flickering to James, she could see he was holding two wands.

Oh no, she thought to herself, no. Why?

"You know exactly what he means, Fawley! You sent a hex our way, we all know it!" James said loudly, playing to the crowd. With a laugh, he looked around, spurred on by the students around him.

"I was just practicing for our Defence class later!" The boy replied.

She could see Sirius rolling his eyes at the excuse.

Bess was standing to the side of them, so she could see everything, but they hadn't noticed her yet.

She slowly put her hand into her robes and withdrew her wand.

"Well then, you won't mind if we practice a few spells for our Defence class later, then?"

Tears in her eyes, Bess knew exactly what was going to happen next, and she wouldn't let it.

She hadn't been able to help Snape during his humiliation after the Defence Against the Dark Arts OWL, but she'd be damned if she didn't protect someone now.

Whether they thought the boy on the floor deserved it or not, this was not going to happen.

She also wondered where the sweet Sirius she'd been getting to know had gone.

As Sirius raised his wand, she raised hers.

As he said "titillando", which she recognised as the tickling hex, she cast "protego".

The shield was invisible, which suited her perfectly - neither Sirius nor James could see who had sent it. They looked around, confused.

"Can't even do a simple spell now, Black?" Came a laughing voice from the crowd.

This time, Bess wasn't quick enough - Sirius, who had gone to school with these students for years, immediately located who had spoken and sent a jinx their way. As they began to scratch their body, he replied-

"Don't be a berk, Stemley," before turning to James. "Dunno what happened mate, why don't you try."

James nodded and turned to the boy on the ground, raising his wand with a frown on his face.

Bess and James repeated the exchange - him sending a hex, her sending an invisible shield out to meet it.

"Right, who's doing that? Come on out!" James cried, looking around.

Bess stepped forwards, wand raised in front of her, and stood between the two boys and the Slytherin.

"What're you doing, Coulson?" asked James, slowly.

"First, James, it's Bess, as you know. Second, I'm protecting someone who can't protect themselves. What are you doing bullying a third year?" she asked, angrily.

"I'm actually a fourth..." said the boy behind her, trailing off as Bess turned to glare at him. "Sorry, do continue."

Bess turned back to the boys in front of her.

"Ha ha, very funny Coulson, step aside now!" James replied with a laugh, which trailed off as he took in Bess' glare.

"Oh come on, we're just having a bit of fun!" Sirius cried, "he was the one hexing us first!"

"And yet who's holding his wand? You should end it here before you go too far and do something you regret!" She said, angrily.

It had been easy for her to forget that they were bullies while she had had one on one time with them, but seeing it in person was different.

"Oh come on, we're not going too far!"

"Yes, you are. He doesn't have a wand!" she hissed.

"Don't get emotional! It's just a bloody joke!" he cried, raising both hands in the air.

"Em- Emotional? Why is that always your go to?"

Sirius shrugged, and she could tell there was more to that story, but now wasn't the time.

So instead she asked, "so this is the first time you've attacked another student, is it?"

James had the decency to look away. Sirius held her gaze.

"No. But he deserves it."

"What did he do to deserve this?"

"Well, he is a Slytherin..." he said, his words dripping with distain and hate.

"So he deserves this because he's a Slytherin?"

"Yeah!" came James' voice from behind Sirius.

"You sure?" she asked, still holding Sirius' cold, steel gaze.

"Yup." Sirius' jaw worked as he pursed his lips.

If she hadn't been trying to protect another student, Bess might have wilted under his stare. A small part of her wondered again what it would be like to kiss him angrily, but she quickly shook this off.

"So I deserve everything that'll be coming to me if I get stopped by a Slytherin on the way back to the common room as retaliation for your actions?"

"Of course not! If they do that I'll go after them! But this is different. It's just a joke!" He said, not seeming to understand her point.

"A cruel joke."

"You don't understand," he said, shaking his head.

"No, you're right," Bess replied, "I don't. Why don't you enlighten me. Would you like my wand too?"

Bess held her wand out to him. She treated it like a pair of scissors, and held the tip in her hand.

"What? No! You're being ridiculous."

"I'm- You're the one attacking another student for practicing a spell!" she hissed.

"He was going to practice it on us!"

"Do you know that for sure?"

"Yes!" He said as he walked towards her. Instead of stepping back, Bess held her ground, looking up at him as he stopped in front of her.

"Did you stop to ask him?" She asked quietly, still angry.

"I-" Sirius stared down at her. They hadn't broken eye contact for most of their conversation and it felt to her like they were now the only two people in the courtyard. "Well, no, of course not," he replied.

After a pause, Bess turned around and looked down at the boy, who was now sitting cross-legged, watching the exchange. He was looking up at them with a curious expression on his face.

"Were you practicing that spell on Sirius?"

"Uh- well..." the Slytherin boy said, sheepishly, raising a hand to scratch the back of his neck, "kinda..."

Bess' eyes widened and she heard a "hah" from James.

"Shut up, Potter, you idiot," came Lily's voice from somewhere behind them. Bess wondered when she'd arrived.

She was speechless for a second, "what do you mean, kinda?" Bess asked, shakily.

"Well... they hexed me for no reason last week, so I thought I'd get my own back..."

"Oh."

In that moment, the bell rang signalling the end of break.

"Uh- Could I get my wand back?" Asked the boy. "I do have class you know..."

James threw the Slytherin's wand over to him and he grabbed it and ran off.

"Coulson." Came Sirius' voice behind her as she stared after the boy. She didn't turn round. "Coulson."

"What?" she snapped.

"What was that?"

"I don't like bullies."

"I'm not a bully."

"That's what you all say," she said, turning around to face him again. "And yet you're the one picking on someone because they're lower down the pecking order than you. I thought you'd be better than that."

"I am better than that." Sirius replied, his nostrils flaring they stared at each other for a moment. They were both angry but neither said a word. Finally, after what felt like a minute, Sirius' eyes became cold and empty as spoke again. "Why don't you run back to your boyfriend and leave us alone?"

"What? I don't have a boyfriend. What're you talking about? You know what?" Bess, who was suddenly incredibly confused, let out a groan of frustration. "Excuse me," she said, turning away from him and pushing through the crowd who were still watching their exchange.

Even the Ravenclaws, who were vying for house points by turning up early to every class, were still there.

To be honest, Bess was embarrassed. No, she was mortified. She'd just defended a student who was trying to hex Sirius and James.

She'd made a fool of herself in front of everyone and she knew that there was a high chance Sirius would never speak to her again.

Her skin felt hot, her breathing elevated, and her heart thumped so hard she could hear it in her ears.

Why couldn't she even make it two weeks into the school year before confronting him?

"That. Was. Awesome!" Lily shouted.

Bess turned round to see Lily running towards her.

"What? No it wasn't! I just embarrassed myself!" Bess cried, turning around again and continuing down the corridor.

"No! You stood up to James and Sirius! That's brilliant! I honestly think we're the only two who can actually tell them when they're being prats."

"Fat lot of good it did though."

"Hey! That boy got to go off to his class uninjured. I'd take that as a win."

Bess stopped and turned towards Lily. "But... honestly... it didn't do anything apart from insult Sirius. He even called me Coulson, and he hasn't done that since the first night here."

"He'll come round. I think you hurt his pride more than anything."

Bess nodded and looked down. "And... and..." she stammered. "And I have no idea where we are..." she admitted slowly.

Lily looked at her and they both laughed.

"Come on." Lily linked their arms together and led Bess towards the library.

"Do you think he'll talk to me again?"

"Probably. I mean... I don't really know..." She took a deep breath. "I haven't told you about what happened last year, have I?" Lily asked slowly.

"No..."

"James and Sirius were... they were bullying Sev- Snape, after one of our exams." Lily began. "Were you there after the Defence exam?"

"Yeah, I sat it, but I was sent back to the Three Broomsticks straight after..."

"They were... it wasn't nice at all. I went over and asked them to stop. Ended up calling James a toe rag and some other things. I was so angry! James said it was the fact that Severus existed... That was his excuse for humiliating him.

"I just- I couldn't stand it. We had a massive argument and then... well, Severus and I fell out and I'm ashamed to admit that I left him there... with them.

"I stormed off. People have told me what happened afterwards - they never did get to finish what they started. McGonagall came out pretty quickly and put a stop to the whole thing. But it still happened.

"James and I didn't talk for a few weeks, but then during the holidays he sent me a letter just saying sorry. He said he had a friend who was in a bad way after an injury, and it made him realise how bad it was, what they'd done to Snape.

"I didn't forgive him straight away, but when we were on the train on the way here we had a chat, and I... decided to put things behind us. It's true, he's still a prat, and what he did was inexcusable, but he's a teenage boy. And honestly? I think it starts out sometimes from a way of... lashing out at something. Wanting to feel something other than how they do in that moment. Or... wanting to impress someone. I think also... sometimes they start something and then get egged on.

"Especially at the moment. The Slytherins are getting more and more open about their... loyalties... as we get older. It's getting harder to excuse their blood purism and dark magic as just opinions or boys will be boys..."

"But what about James and Sirius? They're hexing people!" Bess interrupted.

"I know, but I don't think they're thinking about the long term effects... they're just doing what they think is right in the moment." Lily reasoned.

"So Severus had it coming, did he?" Bess asked quietly.

"No. No I don't think he did in that moment. That was... that was bad. But Severus and James have hated each other for years. I don't know why... but Severus... he's gone to the bad side. He's learning some dark stuff. He's... I think he's chosen his way. And I've chosen mine."

"You're only sixteen! You shouldn't have to pick a side!" Bess said, feeling a little sick.

"I know! But... it's... at the moment, we have to. And believe it or not, Sirius and James are our good guys."

"But if they're the good ones and they're hurting other people..." Bess argued.

"They'll grow out of it. And I'm sure Sirius will understand that what he was doing was wrong soon. It just might take some time."

Bess fell silent. She knew what Lily was saying, and knew that James and Sirius did have good hearts in the end, but it was still hard to see them bullying.

As they entered the library, Bess noticed Remus immediately.

He was at a table by the Restricted Section, and was writing furiously. He looked up, as if thinking about what to write next, and noticed them looking at him. He shot them an apologetic look before ducking his head and continuing to write.

"Not allowed to sit with us until Sirius has calmed down?" Bess asked quietly as they headed over to a table in the back, dropping their bags into the empty seats and sitting down heavily.

"Nope. They close ranks when one of them is upset. It's annoying, but..."

"Loyal." Bess added.

"Yeah..."

Bess sighed. Pulling out a book list, she headed off to the time magic section of the library. There was no world travel section, she'd concluded.

If it had done anything, her argument with Sirius had pushed her towards researching how to get home again.

She didn't want to leave. Not anymore. She'd decided already that she needed to protect those people who she'd met while she was here - she needed to try and stop Voldemort.

But in that moment, she wanted to at least research an out.

As she stared at the cover of Ancient Time Travellers and Their Follies, she found her vision welling up. She closed her eyes, took a deep breath in, and tried not to cry.

She looked up quickly when she heard a movement at the end of the row of books.

Sirius stared at her as he removed a large book from the shelf, nodded curtly, and left.

His expression had been unnaturally blank, and she remembered her first night there - when he'd accused her of lying to him.

She knew in that moment that she may have called him a bully, but all he heard was 'you're just like your family'.

She wondered if he'd ever forgive her.

Chapter Text

A week had passed since the incident, and Bess was back to semi-enjoying school.

She'd taken to hanging out with Scott, Grace, Bartie, Met, Lucy and Amarella or visiting the library during her lunches, sitting with Lily during their classes together, and spending time with her Gryffindor dorm mates during dinner and beyond.

She'd managed to avoid chatting to the Marauders, as hard as that was, even during their classes - she knew she needed to talk to Sirius, but didn't know what to say. Over the week they'd shared looks, but not words, and she'd slowly seen him shed his unnaturally blank façade. Her anger and embarrassment had slowly dissipated as well.

She had spent the weekend walking in the grounds, thinking over what had happened and wondering what she could have done differently. Eventually she'd realised that there was nothing else she could have done. If she hadn't stood up for that other student, she wouldn't have been able to live with herself.

And what he and James had been doing was horrible... and that boy needed protecting. But the boy also had been trying to hex them first... Had she been overreacting? Had they not gone too far? Was it a grey area? How could they get past this? Questions had swirled round her mind all week. To say Bess was confused about her feelings would be an understatement.

Though, Lily seemed to agree that the boys had gone too far after she and Bess had talked about it further, which helped Bess feel a bit better.

The whole school seemed to sense the shift in the dynamics of the Gryffindor sixth years - walking from Potions to Defence Against the Dark Arts on Thursday mid-morning, Lily explained that everyone was talking about just how odd it was that they were now three weeks into term and since Bess had had an argument with Sirius in front of the whole school, no one had seen the Marauders step a toe out of line.

Bess, who wondered how it could be impressive that they'd gone a week without getting into trouble, just nodded along.

The following school week, she found herself more than a bit distracted to tell the truth. And now, the Thursday following the incident, Bess found herself walking next to Lily. They were on their way to Defence, but they both had a strong suspicion that Selket wouldn't be there. For the past few lessons he hadn't even turned up with his apologies, and they'd walked into class to find a handwritten note on the chalkboard explaining what they should do for that lesson.

All of the sixth years were worried. Although some of them, including Bess and Lily, had been doing the reading set by Selket, they didn't all have the same confidence as Sirius and James, who were already highly skilled at non-verbal spell-work and either used the lesson time to practice duelling or doss around.

Bess, who had barely any duelling experience, was particularly worried. How would she protect herself?

So most of class had been happy when one of the Ravenclaws had announced in Tuesday morning's lesson that they'd taken it upon themselves to have a chat with Dumbledore about the situation, and that he'd said he would have a word with Selket and ensure that there would be a teacher for the class on Thursday.

However, even though she was expecting it, when Bess entered the classroom to see someone standing at the front, she almost gasped in shock.

Not because there was actually someone there, but because of who was there.

Sitting on the desk at the front of the room was Jasper!

Bess hadn't seen him since the night before she'd arrived at Hogwarts, and until that moment she hadn't realised just how much she'd missed him. She couldn't keep the smile off her face.

"How's it going, Bess?" Jasper asked as she took her seat near the front of the class. The room had been weirdly quiet until he'd spoken.

"Good-ish... I'm learning a lot and really enjoying the classes! But... honestly I'm a bit worried about Defence. But I'm guessing that's why you're here?"

"Couldn't I come visit you students out of the goodness of my heart?"

"You have a heart?" she replied cheekily.

Jasper mock gasped and said, "I am your Professor today!"

Bess laughed as the other students gasped and talked amongst themselves. She replied, "Sorry. You have a heart? Professor?"

Jasper let out a chuckle and shook his head, muttering, "Pain in my arse."

"You really do know Jasper?" Lily whispered. "I thought Slughorn was just making that up…"

"Yeah, we've met… why?" Bess asked, frowning and leaning in.

Solstice, who was sat behind Lily and Bess, leant over her desk to whisper, "All the girls had crushes on him when he was Head Boy, and he's filled out even more since then…"

Bess raised an eyebrow and looked back to Jasper. He was now talking to James and Sirius who had arrived behind Bess and Lily.

Jasper was sitting on his the table at the front with his arms crossed, laughing.

Tilting her head and looking him up and down, Bess could see what the girls meant. Had he always been this attractive?

Lovely dark red hair cut short against his head, a quite frankly just down-right handsome face, and… where Bess had originally said he could probably snap her like a twig, that was probably her pain addled brain saying that. She realised that he looked strong, yes, but in a non-threatening way.

And, she noted, he was wearing his suit particularly well. Where she'd thought he was young before… What had Slughorn said? He'd graduated three years ago? So that would make him… her age! Well, her real age anyway.

Her eyes widened significantly as they flicked back up to look at his face. She pursed her lips in embarrassment and busied herself with writing her name on the top of her parchment – he'd seen her looking!

"You ok there, Bess? Looking a little red…" he called across the room with a laugh.

Bess didn't look up. She feigned a couple of coughs, and was convincing enough that Skye leant over and offered her some water.

When she looked up as the last few students arrived, Jasper was still chuckling to himself.

"Right, class!" he said loudly, grabbing everyone's attention. He began to walk down the side aisle of the classroom with his hands in his pockets, talking to them all as he went.

"I've been asked to come in and cover your Thursday lessons for a few weeks. I think most of you know who I am, but to recap, my name is Jasper Serpen, and I'm an Auror with the Ministry. Dumbledore thought it would be good for you all to learn from someone currently on the job, and I've agreed to help out on my day off."

Skye leant forwards and whispered, "Because Selket won't teach us..."

Jasper, who was now walking back up the class, motioned for Skye to sit back in her seat, and continued. "I don't expect you to call me Professor or Sir, but I do ask you to respect my position as your teacher. Now, can anyone tell me where you're up to with non-verbal spells?" He sat down on the corner of his desk and looked around the room.

A girl sitting towards the middle of the class raised her hand.

"Sir," she began, and Bess was quite sure that Jasper was trying not to roll his eyes. "I'm quite worried, as we haven't actually learnt anything to do with non-verbal spells yet. Professor Selket hasn't been… the best teacher…"

Jasper frowned as he stood up. "Nothing? You've not taught yourself anything?"

"Uh- well, Sir, isn't Selket here to teach us?" the girl replied hesitantly.

"Yes… But you're not going to stop learning just because you leave school will you? You have to take initiative…" he muttered with a groan, before raising his voice and asking the class as a whole, "has anyone been teaching themselves the curriculum in their spare time?"

Bess joined a smattering of students who raised their hands. About a quarter of the class looked around, blushed, or ducked their heads as their hands remained down.

"Fuc- right. Ok. We'll start from the beginning then. Uh, I think we'll hav-" Jasper stopped. The girl had her hand raised again.

"Sir!" she called, waving her hand around.

"Yes?" he asked, visibly exasperated.

"What did happen to Professor Selket? He seems fine one minute and just absolutely barmy the next…"

As she spoke, Jasper's face turned from exasperated to thunderous. Bess, who thought that he would shout at the girl, was surprised when his spoke next – his voice was measured and slow.

"Professor Selket was one of the best Aurors I've ever met," he said. "I learnt under him until he retired. Please show some respect."

"But Sir, why is he… well, like he is?" the girl continued, completely oblivious to Jasper's anger.

He took a second to think before sitting back on his desk and looking down at his hands. When he spoke again, he seemed pained.

He shot Bess a quick look before standing and beginning to walk round his desk. As he got to the wall behind the desk, he stopped, turned, leant back against it, and crossed his arms.

"Things happen when you're an Auror…," he said, "you see things and… they can change you."

"What happened, Sir?" called a boy. He was sat near to the nosey girl, and Bess wondered if they'd come to class prepared to badger the new teacher until they got answers.

"I'd rather not say really," Jasper replied.

"Are you allowed to?" the boy asked.

"I- well, yes," Jasper said, frowning. "It's… common knowledge, but…"

"Do you think Selket would mind us knowing?" asked a Ravenclaw boy who was sat near the front, just behind the Marauders.

"I-" Jasper tried.

"He's told his other classes I think!" called Jo. "Said something about a terrible case! But he won't even talk to us!"

"Yes, but-" Jasper tried again.

"But Sir! He's refusing to teach our class only! He's teaching everyone else fine, why's it just us who have to suffer?" Jo asked exasperatedly.

"Look. There are reasons... And while Selket has given me permission to talk about it, I also have to recognise that it's not just his story to share," Jasper said, shooting Bess another look. "When you have post traumatic stress... it can manifest itself at anything that reminds you of the trauma... it could be a room, a smell... a face..."

In that moment she understood – the reason why Selket walked out of every class, the reason why he turned and walked the other way when he saw the sixth years coming down the hallway… He wasn't avoiding everyone, he was avoiding her. He had been there the night they'd found her.

Jasper ran a hand down his face and added, "And while you may want to know it, there may be other people who are... affected by the story."

"But Sir!" Cried the Ravenclaw girl. "Don't you think we need to know this stuff if we're going to learn how to defend ourselves? You know... the nitty gritty?"

Jasper groaned and rubbed his face with his hands. He fell silent for a moment, and everyone watched him.

"Look, you should know that it's not an easy one to tell or to hear, and I would feel very uncomfortable telling you all if there's anyone who would be uncomfortable to hear it." He said quietly.

Bess took a deep breath. Was she ready for this? While she knew Jasper wouldn't name her, or at least she hoped he wouldn't, she was sure that some people in the room might put two and two together.

If she left, they'd definitely put two and two together.

This is it. She thought to herself, and took another breath to steel herself before saying, "Sir, I think everyone's sure. Can you… can you tell us about it? Why he's…"

Jasper looked up at everyone and scanned the room slowly. As he looked at her, he silently asked, 'Are you sure?'.

Bess nodded.

If anyone noticed the exchange, they ignored it.

"Okay... I'll... Does anyone remember the Christmas attacks?" he asked slowly.

A murmur went through the room.

Lily answered. "Yes Sir. They were all over the Daily Prophet when we got back to school."

"Yes… Well. I'm a fully fledged Auror now, but back then I was still in training. The attacks were so bad they brought us all out of our classes or pulled us back from our holidays and shoved us on active duty. Up until then we'd just done patrol work, nothing too major. Selket and his partner, Barracus, were my leads."

Delbert. Bess thought as she tried not to gasp too audibly. She could feel the bile rising to her throat as Jasper continued.

"Honestly… it was horrific. I don't know how more of us aren't..." He sighed deeply before continuing. "We were called to this house… a wizard… he'd been… He'd been teaching a Muggle-born some magic, and… well… the Death Eaters found out somehow didn't they? I-"

The girl who'd asked why Selket couldn't teach them, and who Bess had decided had zero tact, called out, "Is that the one where the guy was in pieces by the time you got there?"

"What?" Bess whispered, turning around to stare at the girl in disbelief. She began to shake, and tears clouded her vision.

Lily leant over and Bess turned back around as she whispered, "That was the worst one. There weren't even any pictures of the scene, it was that bad. And there are always pictures..." before sitting up straight again.

As Lily spoke, Jasper took a deep, shuddering breath before saying, "That guy was called Lucas Grouse, and he was Selket's best friend. Please show some respect."

The tears which had pooled in his eyes began to fall as he continued to stare at the floor. He'd barely looked up since Bess had nodded for him to tell the story.

"I can't expect any of you to understand what it was like. There was more blood than I've ever seen in my life. The- the Muggles…" He gasped slightly and then shook his head at the memory. "Merlin… It… You know what you're signing up for when you become an Auror but…It was Selket's best- He had to walk in and see that – his best friend in pieces. You couldn't imagine..."

Even through her own tear filled vision, Bess could see that James had clapped a hand on to Sirius and Remus' shoulders and their jaws were tensed as they listened to Jasper speak. Remus, who was sat next to Peter, had his hand on the smaller boy's shoulder.

"I still have no idea how he made it to the hospital alive," Jasper continued, "but we managed to interview him before he died and he told us everything."

Bess thought back to the first time she'd spoken to Delbert and Jasper - he'd called Lucas 'the bloke'. She could hear the pain in his voice as he spoke his name now. She couldn't imagine how hard it was for them both to sit there and try and detach themselves enough to give her details on the case.

"The girl he was protecting… she was… she was just screaming. She had her own injuries of course. They were starting on her when the first wave of Aurors arrived. Her scars were bad as well... I-" Jasper took another shuddering breath in. "Merlin... She- it- it was like she couldn't even feel the pain anymore... It was like all she knew how to do was scream."

Bess thought to herself how wrong he was - even when she'd woken up in this world the pain had been intense - she'd barely been able to hold on while she waited for someone to come to her aid. She couldn't imagine what Daphne had been going through.

"She was just staring at Selket's friend and screaming and screaming and screaming," he whispered, staring at the ground in front of him. Bess could tell he wasn't seeing the flagstone floor, he was seeing that night all over again instead. "She didn't stop screaming after we got her to the hospital," he said quietly now, and she wasn't sure if the people at the back of the room could hear him.

He coughed and cleared his throat and then raised his voice. "They… uh- they had to obliviate her in the end. Erase the memories of what happened. They thought it was the only way to get her to stop screaming. She'd been tortured you see, and then... forced to watch them as they... As they-" Jasper shook his head. "As they killed her family and... started on Lucas... I honestly didn't think I'd ever be able to get back on the job... but Barracus and I... we've been lucky to-"

Jasper stopped himself, and Bess could tell he was going to say something along the lines of, "Lucky to see Bess recover."

Instead, he took another breath and said in an audible whisper, "And Selket? He'll never get over it. They'd been best friends since school…"

A boy towards the back of the class spoke up, breaking the silence that had fallen. "Did-did the girl die?" he asked quietly.

"I- uh- no. We got her out of there and she..." Jasper said, sniffing. "Well... I- I don't think I can say any more."

"You saved her life?" the boy asked.

"I don't- I wouldn't- I-" Jasper tried.

"You did! The paper was right to call you a hero!" Jo said loudly over the class, who'd begun to murmur to each other.

"I'm no hero," snapped Jasper, tear tracks glistening down his cheeks. The class fell silent again as he raised his head to look at them. His eyes looked empty, as if he couldn't summon a smile if he tried.

"Yes you are," replied Bess in a quiet voice.

Chapter Text

Jasper's eyes flickered to Bess' for a moment before he looked away.

"No," he said, grimacing as he roughly wiped his tears from his face. "No, I'm not a hero. If you see that… I- the girl… she's the hero. I- I couldn't..."

Bess had never seen Jasper so vulnerable. He let out a frustrated noise and turned his back on the class. After a second he punched the wall which was now in front of him.

Bess couldn't take it anymore. Without thinking, she leapt up and walked swiftly to the front of the class. She pulled him into a hug and squeezed him tight before taking a step backwards and gripping his elbows, ducking her head sligtly to look him in the eyes - he was avoiding her gaze.

"Fuck off with all that, okay?" she said. As she spoke, she could see the light slowly coming back into his eyes. "You saved me. You went in there. You had to see all of that," she said. "You gave me a chance at this life. Jasper, if it weren't for you... and Del... and Selket... I-" She looked down and took in a deep breath. "It it weren't for you all, I wouldn't be here."

Bess didn't say what she was thinking - if you'd been just a few minutes later, Daphne would have died and I wouldn't be here.

Jasper smiled sadly at her when they eyes met again. "Yeah, but you're the one who taught yourself everything in the past few months... You got yourself here… We didn't do anything." He shook his head slowly.

Bess took a second to look up at the ceiling and compose herself before looking back at Jasper, a teasing smile on her face. "Okay, that's true… You've been absolutely zero help… Might need to ask Dumbledore if we can have another teacher…"

He threw his head back and laughed and Bess felt proud - she'd used his kind of humour and it had snapped him out of his sadness for a moment.

"But remember..." she said quietly when his face fell again. "Up and at 'em, Serpen."

Jasper sent her a small smile and echoed her words. "Up and at 'em, Coulson."

They stood there for a moment before Bess dropped her hands from his arms, stepped back and said, "Well... that let the cat out of the bag, eh?"

"Hmm... I think you're right. Though I think the magical expression would be let the dragon out of the cage... wouldn't it?" he asked, tilting his head and pursing his lips in question.

"Hmm..." Bess crossed one arm across her waist and with the other hand, stroked an invisible beard. "Or... Let the...niffler into the vault?"

"Such a Muggle..." he sighed, shooting her a small smile which fell into a morose expression after a beat. "Go on. I've got a class to teach."

She sent him a small half smile before turning and she retreating back to her seat. Staring at the ground, she could feel the eyes of the entire class on her as she moved, but refused to look up. Once she was seated, Jasper started to speak again.

"Right!" he said, moving forwards and clapping his hands together. "I think that's... well, that's just about covered it really." The class was still silent. "Long story short, and you can quote me on this," he took a deep shuddering breath in before continuing, "Selket can't stand Bess."

Bess let out a strangled laugh and clasped a hand over her mouth as it turned into a cry.

"Right. Non-verbal spells!" he said with an obviously fake enthusiasm. He grabbed a piece of chalk and began to write on the board.

While Jasper began the class properly, Lily wrapped an arm around Bess' shoulders and pulled her into a firm side hug. Bess let her curls fall over her face and silently wiped away tears.

She'd just found out what had really happened that night, and it dawned on her that it wasn't just her who knew all of this now – it was the whole school. Because, she remembered, students gossip. And Hogwarts students gossip harder.

She wondered how long it would be before she'd be targeted by Death Eater wannabes in the halls. She'd avoided that luxury thus far by sticking to large groups and having a reputation as a half-blood - no one could fathom a muggle-born being taught at home until NEWTs. She was wholly unprepared for any attacks which might come her way.

The rest of the class passed in a blur. No one said anything when Jasper ended the class halfway through their second hour - he was still visibly upset.

Bess was quite impressed he'd made it that far anyhow. He'd thrown out the textbook and explained: the theory behind these spells in uncomplicated terms; how complex they can be; the way to channel your magic without words; and how incredibly useful they could be in a fight.

Somehow, he'd also managed to do a demonstration and have every student (even Bess) cast a non-verbal wingardium leviosa by the time he left.

Bess thought he'd make an absolutely wonderful teacher if he ever chose to take up a post.

Once he'd dismissed the class, he walked over to give Bess' hand a quick squeeze and left with a promise to return for their next Thursday class.

Lily hugged Bess again as the students all shuffled out of room.

The Gryffindor girls, who Bess had become incredibly close to over the past three weeks, all stopped one by one to give Bess a shoulder squeeze, rub her back, give her a side hug, or kiss the top of her head.

Finally, when she thought everyone had gone, she heard Lily's voice.

"James…" Lily asked softly. "Gobstones club uses this room at lunch. Do you know anywhere nearby we can go?"

James must have nodded, but Bess didn't see – she had her eyes trained firmly on the ground.

Lily guided her out of her seat and down the hallway.

Just as Bess wondered where her bag, blazer and outer robe were, they walked into some kind of antechamber which was lit with torches.

"Uh- no- no one will come in here," James said, his voice breaking slightly.

"Thanks," Lily replied.

"We'll be outside," he whispered softly.

She felt Lily nod, and her arms tighten around Bess in a firmer hug as she began to cry again.

Finally, long after the post-Lunch school bell had rung, Bess had managed to get her crying under control.

"I'm sorry," she whispered.

"Don't be, please," Lily replied. "I'm sorry you've been going through all this and we didn't even know! I just assumed it was some kind of accident. I had no idea."

"It's fine. I- I can't remember any of it anyway… it... it feels like someone else went through it all," Bess replied between hiccups. She couldn't tell Lily any more. Not right now.

"So that was the first time... That was the first time you'd heard that?" Lily asked, her voice shaking.

"Most of it, yeah," Bess whispered.

At some point, the girls found themselves sitting on the cold stone floor of the small room. It was surprisingly comfortable, and in the corner Bess could see a little stack of sweets and chocolate.

"Where even are we?" Bess asked, looking around as she wrapped her arms around her knees.

"No idea," Lily replied. James and Sirius led the way. Must be one of their hideouts. I think they know everywhere in the castle…"

How right you are there, Lily, Bess thought, but she just couldn't bring herself to say it out loud.

"We missed lunch," she whispered instead. "I'm sorry."

"That's ok," Lily replied. "Don't be sorry."

"You're missing Arithmancy," Bess said again.

"Remus'll give me the notes," Lily said, smiling. "You're the one missing History of Magic!"

"Pfft, I learn better by reading the textbook..." Bess replied with a smirk. A second later she added, "you're a really good friend."

"No I'm not," Lily muttered, looking at the ground.

"Yes you are," Bess replied, frowning at the redhead next to her.

"No… I gave up on my friend…"

"Severus?"

"Yeah."

"The girls said… they said there was a reason for that. That he called you something?" Bess asked, trying to deflect the conversation away from herself for now.

"It was a lot of reasons really, but… yeah, he called me something bad and I realised that I would always be that to him," Lily explained. "He even tried to justify what he'd said by saying that I was better than the others!"

"Do you- do you mind-" Bess asked, trying to understand.

"Mudblood. He called me a Mudblood."

"A-"

"Yeah."

"What- what does that mean?" Bess asked quietly as she looked down at her left forearm which was covered by her jumper and shirt.

"You don't know? Well, hopefully no one calls you it. It means… It's a… an awful term for a muggle-born or half-blood witch or wizard, but generally people only use it on us – Muggle-borns. It's a racist term. It means we've got 'dirty blood' or are 'impure' because we have Muggle parents."

"Oh," Bess said slowly. She thought that she must have known this at some point, but she'd forgotten it completely.

"Yeah."

They fell into silence for a few minutes as they were both lost in thought, and Bess realised it was now or never.

She had to show Lily one of her scars. She wasn't sure how she'd react, but she felt like she needed her to know about her arm. It felt like a horrid secret, and she just wanted one person to know about it as well. "Lily…"

"Yeah?"

"I- can I show you one of my scars?"

"Of course. But you don't have to."

"It's bad..." Bess warned.

Lily paused for a moment, before taking a deep breath and nodding. "I assumed so, from what Professor Serpen said… and I'm still here for you. I will admit that I'm very interested to see them... but I know obviously it's all incredibly personal, so my curiosity isn't ok."

"It is ok," Bess replied. "To me at least. You're my friend. You have a right to be curious, and I want to show you, so that's good..."

"Has anyone told you how nice a person you are?" Lily asked sincerely.

"Honestly? Not really, no." Bess sighed, looking down at her arm again. "Are you sure?" she asked.

When Lily nodded, Bess undid the button on her cuff slowly, before pushing up the sleeve, bunching the shirt and jumper at her bicep to reveal the word carved into her arm.

"Oh my-" Lily gasped as she finally read what was on Bess' arm. "Oh my god."

It took Lily fifteen minutes to recover from the shock.

"Thank you for telling me what it means…" Bess said as she pulled her sleeve down. "It's been on my arm for nine months now, and no one has explained it to me before. I think they just assumed I'd know… Or didn't want to be the one to tell me."

"Why couldn't they heal it?" Lily asked quietly.

"I'm not one hundred per cent sure, but they said something about some kinds of magic, or blades leaving more… permanent scars," Bess sighed.

"Is this part of the reason why you blew up at Sirius?" Lily asked. "Don't get me wrong, I completely agree with you that they went too far. But is this why?"

Bess shook her head slowly. "I thought what they did was wrong but nowhere near this. I- I just had to protect that boy - he had no wand. I didn't think they were doing it to really hurt him or anything, and I've only known them for a few weeks really-"

"Really? Haven't you known Sirius for months?" Lily asked. "He was talking about you after the Easter holidays and then after the OWLs I think."

Bess frowned. "I- I guess I have? How was he- he didn't even know who I was?"

"I know! It was incredibly annoying-" Lily stopped abruptly. "Sorry. I interrupted."

"Oh, uh- yeah. I just- what they're doing... I feel that it's wrong... but nowhere near this. I could never even put them in the same ballpark. But... Christ, I guess in a way it's connected..." She thought of Snape, "I can see them doing that to the wrong person and then that person turning around and hurting someone else..."

"I... I can't explain it properly," Bess continued after a pause. "I don't put them in the same boat at all, I just... I just want them to be good... to be better... they can do all their pranking and stuff without hexing people... argh, I can't properly explain it." She stopped, rubbing her face in her hands.

Lily nodded slowly and whispered, "I understand. I think I do anyway... It's amazing that you can still see the good in anyone..." she took a shuddering breath in. "I- I know what they... the blood purists call me, but I can't imagine having it on me for the rest of my life."

Bess grimaced and looked down at her arm, tracing over where the scar sat underneath her sleeve.

"Honestly, until I told you about it, I was scared for people to see it. But now that you've told me what it means… I'm… I'm not proud in the way that I'm happy it's on me, because I never will be… but… I'm… I'm proud I survived in some way. I'm proud I'm here at Hogwarts. I fought for this. I fought so hard to be here. And I know I'm going to fight so hard to change things. I… it's branded on my arm. It's part of who I am now… I don't… I don't know how to explain it, but…"

As she spoke, Bess remembered what Hermione had said to Griphook, Ron and Harry - "Mudblood and proud."

It was like a piece of the puzzle slipped into place and she remembered all of the times Mudblood had been used in the book. It steeled her resolve even more - she wouldn't let this define her, and she would show her scar to more people.

"I- it's a strong thing to say, and it feels weird, but I guess... I feel like saying 'so what? I'm a Mudblood and proud of it,'" Bess whispered.

After a breath, Lily echoed the phrase.

Bess, who hadn't been expecting Lily to say anything, let alone repeat her words, looked at the redhead in shock.

"I already said to Sev-Snape. Sorry... I'm finding it hard not to call him Severus..." Lily sighed. "Sorry. I already said to Snape that if he called other muggle-borns that, he'd have to call me it too. I guess, seeing that on your arm, it's just proved to me even more that he's gone - he's not the boy I knew. If those are the types of people he's hanging around with..."

"You don't know that-" Bess began, but Lily cut across her.

"I do," Lily said. "You don't know what Mulciber and Avery did to Mary. And they're his friends. He didn't even think their actions were wrong."

"It's so vastly different, but... the boys," Bess said. "They're... what they're doing to Snape... no one thinks it's wrong enough to be stopping them. Where's the line?"

"I do. I do, I just... I guess I excuse it sometimes because I have to believe that they'll stop it all sometime. Potter... in the summer, his letter was so vulnerable... I felt... I was touched. I... it gave me hope that he could stop all this. Seeing him in the courtyard with you arguing with Sirius, I wanted to excuse what they did because it wasn't as bad as last year. But I can't really. He has much more growing up to do I think. He's so frustrating and I have to tell him off for something every bloody day, but I have to believe he's better than all this."

"I think they are," Bess whispered. "They... they just need a wake up call."

"I honestly think-"

The school bell rang again, interrupting Lily.

After a beat she continued, "I honestly think that what you said to Sirius was a shock. I don't think they've ever thought of themselves as doing anything that's bullying. Even to Snape, and those three really go for each other. I think he really listened to your point of view."

"Why would he listen to me though?"

"I don't know... I just think he did." A minute of silence passed before Lily said, "we should head back."

They waited until they couldn't hear any students outside before they pushed against the stone wall in front of them and it swung out into the light flooded corridor.

As they did, they came across a sight that made them both giggle - James was sat just outside the door leaning against the wall, head cocked to the side, fast asleep. He was drooling and his glasses had slipped off his nose.

It wasn't that seeing James sleeping was particularly funny, just that it was the relief from the tears and shock that had overwhelmed them for hours.

James jumped up in shock, shoving his glasses back on his face and raising his wand. "Wha- what's going on?" he asked.

"Sorry James!" Lily wheezed. "You were asleep and…" She began to laugh again.

"You looked adorable if that makes you feel any better?" Bess added before giggling.

"I- What?" James said, looking to Sirius for help.

Sirius, who had been sitting against the wall opposite, book in hand as he read, laughed and shrugged at his friend. "Don't look at me, mate," he said, before turning to Bess, a worried look replacing the smile on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah... No? I will be? You didn't stay here the whole time did you?" Bess asked slowly.

"Course. We sent Remus off to get notes on Arithmancy for Lily. I think he's giving you some space now. Said something about overcrowding you…" he said. Bess breathed deeply. His voice was so calming to her. "Pete left before that though. Well... I made him leave. He was going on and on about food and how he'd already missed twenty minutes of lunch. It got cumbersome. Such a lightweight," he said standing up and dusting off his robes.

"Thanks." Bess nodded at him before looking away - this was the most they'd talked in a week and, honestly, she missed his company but didn't know how to tell him. Especially not now.

"No problem..." he said quietly. Bess could see him looking at her from the corner of her eye.

"I'm still confused… why were you laughing?" James said as he lifted his bag over his shoulder.

Lily just smiled and nudged him with her elbow. "Don't worry about it, really. And thank you James."

James' face exploded into the biggest grin Bess had ever seen, before he turned to Bess and his face fell into a more serious look. "You alright?"

"Yeah… Just…"

"Need some time?" asked James quietly.

"No… distraction. And food I think," she added, moving a hand to rub her stomach as she realised just how hungry she was.

Just then, Lily's stomach let out a loud growl which echoed down the corridor.

"What? I'm a human being. I get hungry too," Lily snapped at James who was looking at her as though she'd grown a second head.

"Sorry, I don't think I've ever heard such a loud noise come from such a small stomach before…" he replied.

"And how would you know how small my stomach is, Potter?" Lily asked indignantly.

Bess tried not to laugh as James stuttered and tried to explain himself. Her upset and confusion over their actions had been pushed to the side, and she was just so incredibly touched that they'd stayed to make sure she was ok.

She was tired - physically and mentally exhausted from the taxation of hearing what had happened to her, crying, and explaining about her injuries to Lily. All she wanted was to sleep for a while and eat her body weight in chocolate.

And yet… through all of that, she was finding it easier than ever to laugh. Her chat with Lily had been cathartic, and she felt like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders.

She didn't think she'd ever be able to explain about her being from another world, but she'd opened a door in Lily and her friendship, and established a bond of trust between them. She knew that she wouldn't need to explain anything else to Lily if she didn't want to.

As she smiled at Lily and James, who were now having a heated discussion over the fact that he'd done such a nice thing for her and then she'd been mean to him, she felt Sirius' arm slip around her shoulders. After a second he pulled her into his side.

At first, she didn't respond. But then he gave her a quick squeeze, as if saying 'come on', and she put her arms around his middle to hug him back.

They stood there, hugging each other, for a minute as they watched the argument in front of them before Sirius spoke again, whispering into her hair. "I… if you ever want to talk about anything… I'm- James and I are always here."

"Thank you," she whispered back. "Sirius… Our argument…"

"Let's not talk about it right now," Sirius replied, as he pulled her even closer.

"We need to. I can't just sit back and watch you being so kind to me but-"

"You won't have to. I- I was an idiot. I got caught up in the moment and went too far."

Bess frowned and looked up at him.

"Remus... James and I spoke to Remus," he said, a small smile playing on his face.

She nodded and snuggled back into him.

"But this war... what happened to you... it puts all of this into perspective I think... and we will talk. I just... not right now. You need a break."

"I'm not saying you should stop pranking-" Bess tried.

"I know," he said, "but we'll talk about this later."

"Later," she agreed.

Bess knew that there was no way that in the span of a week they'd changed and would stop hexing people in halls, but she knew she was too tired to think about it anymore, and they lapsed into silence once again.

At some point, she nuzzled her head into his shoulder and he brought his other arm up to cuddle her in closer. She realised with a jolt that this was the first proper hug she'd had since coming to this world. Well, apart from her hug with Jasper, but that felt different.

This was comforting, and felt like home. She felt wholly safe.

She could smell a mix of coffee and… well, he smelt like rain and trees... it was oddly familiar.

There was a part of her which recognised it was a bit weird to be sniffing Sirius, but she was almost completely sure he was sniffing her too - he'd nuzzled his head into her mass of curls and was rubbing her back with one hand while gently swaying from side to side.

This was the closest she'd ever been to him, and she almost didn't want to let go.

Over her shoulder, she heard the argument come to a close as Lily explained that she needed to let out her emotions and she knew she could argue with him.

As James grinned and looked proud, Bess thought he must be the only person in the world who could be happy that the woman he loved had argued with him just because she needed to let out her frustrations.

Sirius lifted his head from hers and said loudly, "Lunch?"

Bess removed her arms from around him and tried to move out of his embrace. As she did so, he dropped the arm rubbing her back and moved his other back to around her shoulders. He pulled her back back in to him.

"Lunch," James agreed, putting a hand on Lily's back and guiding her towards the other end of the corridor.

Sirius followed, pulling Bess along with him. She didn't say anything - she just leaned in to him and slipped an arm around his waist as they walked.

"Where're we going? Lunch finished ages ago," Lily asked.

"Maybe… But if you're one of us, it never stops," James replied.

They walked in silence after that – descending stairs, dodging down secret passageways and walking along corridors, until at last they came to a little doorway.

Bess, who had expected them to be headed to the kitchens, frowned as James stepped forwards and rapped on the door in a rhythmic pattern.

The door swung open to reveal Peter. Looking beyond him, she could see Remus, who was sat at a table laden with food - cakes, sausage rolls, bread, chicken... Bess' mouth watered immediately.

On the chair next to Remus were Lily and Bess' things which they'd left in the Defence classroom.

"Got our message then?" asked James as he walked into the room, clapping a hand on Peter's back as he went.

"What?" Lily gasped, staring at the table.

"All of your favourites I believe?" James said with a pleased grin.

Lily smiled at him and nodded in disbelief. After a second she seemed to come back to her senses and sat down next to him, letting him put a large slice of victoria sponge cake on her plate.

"Come on. I'm actually starving," Sirius whispered to Bess, before pushing her inside the doorway and closing the door behind him.

When he'd finished eating, Sirius slipped his arm around her waist and pulled her in before he handed her another mug of firewhiskey laced hot chocolate. "For your nerves," he whispered into her ear.

She whispered a quick, "Thank you," and snuggled into him as she sipped. Every so often she'd lift the large mug to let him have some. It just felt natural to share.

If Lily was going to say anything about drinking on school property, she didn't. She seemed to have left her prefect hat outside the door and was enjoying herself - she too was drinking a small mug of the concoction.

The six of them ate, drank, and chatted about schoolwork or teachers - light topics - until well after the dinner bell had rung, though Bess found herself listening more than talking.

Finally, when it was past eight, and with only half an hour until curfew, Remus suggested they head back.

Until then, no one had mentioned what had happened in Defence class.

Bess was suddenly nervous. "What do I do? Everyone knows now," she said quietly to Lily.

"Honestly? I don't know…" Lily whispered back.

Bess frowned as she picked up her bag, swinging it over her shoulder.

She needn't have worried though – as they approached the tower, Sirius took her bag and shrugged it over his own. He then put a hand on her lower back and guided her through the common room.

As they walked in, no one said anything. At least, Bess didn't think they did.

When they reached the bottom of the girl's staircase, Sirius pulled her into him for a tight hug, before letting her go, passing back her bag, and walking over to the door to the boy's dormitories.

"How're you feeling?" Lily asked as they began the long climb to their dormitories.

"I'm not sure. I- I'm not there yet, but I think I'll be ok," Bess replied quietly.

Chapter Text

When Bess had walked in to her dormitory earlier in the evening, the girls had rallied around her.

Mary had tearfully explained how she'd had been attacked the previous year, and how the girls remained on guard for any further threats or attacks as a result. They told her that they'd be there for her no matter what and make sure she was safe when they were with her - she was part of their sisterhood now.

Bess had felt comforted and strangely relieved - she'd been worried that everyone would treat her differently after the truth had come out, but the girls were trying their best to continue to be normal around her.

Now, hours later, Bess was staring at the ceiling of her four poster bed, trying to will herself to sleep. She couldn't stop the thoughts going round her head - what would her day be like tomorrow? Would she come across any foes in the halls or in her classes? Would anyone treat her differently? ... Would Sirius and the Marauders treat her differently?

She felt the panic rising in her chest, slowly stopping her lungs from working properly. Her mind felt numb and her skin felt hot and itchy. Putting her hands to her chest, she tried to focus on her breathing exercises to calm down. She also thought of where she was and made an effort to focus on her surroundings - the feeling of the bedsheets against her skin, the tick tock of the clock, the gentle snores...

But it didn't help much, as she found herself focussing on the things that aided her panic, like the tears running down the sides of her face and pooling on the pillow by her ears.

She even began to hear a light fluttering noise which she tried to ignore.

Whenever she had an anxiety attack she thought she could hear noises in her immediate surroundings.

When she'd been in her world, it had been scratches - she'd always think there were rats or mice nearby and would have to rationalise every sound.

Here, it was like the fluttering of a tiny bird.

As much as she tried to focus on other things, the noise didn't stop. If anything, it increased in its incessancy.

Putting her hands up to cover her ears, she sang under her breath the first song that came her mind - the Narwal Song.

A ridiculous song, but one which had helped her out on multiple occasions as the lyrics were simple.

Still, the fluttering increased, getting louder and louder with every second.

She wanted to scream but she couldn't - she wasn't confident enough with using Muffliato yet and didn't want to wake up her dormmates. Instead, she groaned and sat up in her bed.

Just find the noise. Find what's making the noise and you'll be okay, she thought to herself frantically.

Taking a deep breath, she opened the curtain around her bed slowly, careful not to make too much noise.

Suddenly, a little bird flew straight in, using the gap she'd made in her curtains. She had to clasp a hand to her mouth to try and stem her squeak.

Staring at the bird which was now circling her bed, she realised it wasn't alive at all - it was made of parchment.

Gasping for breath, she took a moment to compose herself before closing the curtain and turning to the origami bird which had now settled on her knee.

As she touched it, it spread its wings and unfolded itself into a flat sheet of parchment. There, in elegant, masculine writing, was a note:

Bess,

I've enchanted this so you just have to write your answer and then tap your wand to the parchment and it'll come back to me.

How are you?

- Sirius

Slowly, as she stared at the words, they sunk in to her addled brain. Still breathing heavily, she summoned a quill and ink and began to write her reply with a shaking hand.

I'm a bit panicky to tell you the truth.

The girls have been lovely, I'm just finding it difficult.

Difficult to sleep, think or breathe.

- B

She wasn't sure why she was telling him that. She knew she was oversharing. She hadn't even told Lily that she felt panicky sometimes.

She just felt like she needed him to know. No, that she needed someone to know. She needed to not be alone in that moment.

And, part of her thought he'd understand how she felt, but she wasn't sure why. Maybe it was because he'd said he was there if she needed to talk, but it may have been her knowledge of his life now, and in the future.

Sighing, she opened her curtain a sliver, tapped her wand to the parchment, and watched as the bird took flight and flattened itself to slide underneath the door.

Laying down on her side, she snuggled in to the bedsheets and stared at the bottom of the door. As she waited, she felt her breathing slow and her tears settle as her eyes began to droop.

Just as she was about to fall asleep, she heard a fluttering by her face. Opening her eyes, she touched the bird and tried to read the reply through her drowsiness.

What can I do?

- S

She smiled and, rather than replying, finally succumbed to sleep.

When she woke up, she found the note still clutched in her hand, and smiled again.

For the first time in months she'd had a dreamless sleep. The familiar pin prick feeling in the skin around her eyes which indicated that she'd been crying was the only reminder of her panic attack the night before.

She looked at the time - 6.04am - she had plenty of time to have a shower and prepare herself mentally for her classes.

As much as she wanted to, she didn't know how to go about skipping classes. It wasn't like she could just call up McGonagall and tell her that she felt too ill to go in to school today.

As she wondered what to do, the note in her hand fluttered slightly. She sat up and opened it, rereading Sirius' four words. What can I do?

She picked up her quill and scribbled a quick reply.

Thank you. Got some sleep thanks to your note.

Don't worry, you've done enough already.

See you at breakfast.

- B x

She didn't know why she wrote the 'x' and was about to erase it when the parchment flew out of her grasp and slipped under the door, as if it had been waiting all night for her reply and couldn't wait to get back to its master.

She put her hands to her face and groaned before she sat up, pulled back her covers, and padded off to the bathroom.

As she stared in the mirror after her shower, she took note of her scars again. She'd avoided looking at them as much as she could thus far.

She thought she'd be upset to see them, but for the first time, she wasn't.

The line down her arm had healed to a dark pinky-brown. It was still prominent, but it wasn't as bad as she remembered. The continuation of the scar on her stomach, which ran on to her hip, was similarly healed. The word carved into her arm was the worst, but suddenly she didn't feel as sick when she looked at it.

The burn marks on her back had faded as well, and were barely noticeable now. She wondered if they'd fade completely, given enough time.

Sighing, she changed quickly into her uniform, swiping on eyeliner, mascara and some blusher, before leaving the bathroom as she wrapped her still wet hair in a towel.

"Sorry," she muttered quietly to Lily, who was waiting outside.

"Don't worry about it. You okay?" Lily asked as she walked past, stopping in the bathroom doorway.

Bess couldn't find the words to reply, so just shrugged, pursed her lips, and sat down on her bed.

When she reached for her schoolbag, she noticed the bird sitting proudly on her pillow.

She took a second to steel herself for his reply before touching the bird to read.

Does that mean I was the last thing you thought about before you fell asleep?

- S x

Bess was so busy rolling her eyes that she didn't register that he'd added an 'x', and she almost missed the long post script which vanished from the note just a minute later:

P.S. I have a feeling McGonagall's going to cancel double Transfiguration this morning.

Just a hunch.

P.P.S. Don't share this one with anyone but Lily - don't wear anything shiny today.

"Lily..." she called to the redhead who was putting her books in her bag and waiting for the other girls to finish getting ready.

"Yeah?"

"How long did you say it's been since the boys got in trouble?"

xXx

"Alright?" Sirius asked with a grin on his face when he suddenly appeared next to Bess, who was headed towards the library.

Bess stopped in the middle of the hallway and frowned as she tried to work out where he'd come from.

She'd been looking out for any threats and walking quickly - Transfiguration had, indeed, been cancelled that morning, but she'd been asked to stay back and chat to Professor McGonagall about the previous day. The older witch had plied her with biscuits and tea and told Bess that she'd been keeping a watchful eye on her, just in case anyone tried anything.

Having McGonagall on her side had made Bess feel much happier and safer, but it was still a daunting and scary walk from the Deputy Headmistress' office to where Sirius had accosted her. She'd turned down McGonagall's offer to walk her to the library.

After a beat, she shook her head and asked, "How on earth did you find one?"

"I have no idea what you mean," Sirius replied, smirking. "I was in no way involved in what happened today. But if I was, I'd have gone down to where Kettleburn keeps them. It wouldn't take a genius to work out his locking spells, and nifflers can be easily coaxed into bags filled with shiny objects. However, as I just said, it wasn't me and I have no idea what you're talking about. Neither do James or Remus. Peter definitely doesn't know anything because he was snoring all night..."

Bess let out a small gasp. "Doesn't James have a quidditch match next week? What if you'd been caught? He could've got a detention!"

"Oh Bessy, Bessy, Bessy," Sirius said, shaking his head and walking slowly closer to her as he spoke. "You don't seem to understand. I just told you. We had nothing to do with it."

He grinned at her cheekily before slinging an arm around her shoulders.

"So," he asked. "What do you fancy doing with our spare double period? I feel like you could use a distraction."

Bess sighed but didn't move away from his touch. "Shouldn't you be with James?" she asked.

"Nah, like you said, he's got a match coming up. He's using this... newly acquired time... to get some extra practice in."

Bess gasped again and poked Sirius' hard chest. "That's why McGonagall didn't even try and catch it!"

He chuckled and caught her hand, holding it for a moment. Then he let it drop to her side. "Yeah... she's alright, that Minny. Happy to turn a blind eye when needed... but of course..."

"I know I know," Bess replied, trying not to think about the fact that she could still feel his hand on hers, or that his arm was still around her. "You had nothing to do with it."

"Exactly," he whispered.

"What about Remus?" she asked, staring into his eyes. "You could go hassle him?"

"Come on!" he groaned, throwing his head back.

Bess raised an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side.

Taking in the look on her face, Sirius rolled his eyes, "He's in the library."

"Funny, that's where I was headed," she replied. She desperately needed to look up more advanced jinxes and duelling spells, especially now.

"Nope," he replied, starting to pull her down the hall. "Come on."

Bess groaned but stayed here ground. "What about Peter? Is he free?"

"He's with Remus, obviously," Sirius said, letting his arm drop from her shoulders so he could grab her elbow.

Bess groaned again and let Sirius drag her in the opposite direction to the library. "Where're you taking me?"

"Broom closet," he responded.

Bess stopped walking immediately and cocked her head to the side with an exasperated expression on her face.

"Fine! Fine! For a walk. Merlin! But one of these days..." he said, as he dropped her arm and sighed.

"One of these days what, Black?"

Sirius, if at all deterred by her use of his surname, didn't show it. He simply shrugged, winked, put his hands in his pockets, and walked ahead.

Bess found herself in the familiar position of having to run after him.

xXx

"-and then he asked her if she fancied a dance."

"Why?!" Bess cried, throwing her hands in the air. "Honestly, I don't understand how he's so popular, he's such an idiot!"

Sirius threw his head back and laughed, "It's because we're such idiots that we're popular!"

"So you have no game with the ladies as well?" Bess asked as she navigated a particularly large boulder as they approached the beach.

Sirius had declared the day a write off due to 'something happening to the charms classroom this time which will take a few hours to fix' and, after refusing to elaborate, insisted they both get changed and go for a walk by the lake.

Two hours later, Bess found her mind cleared and was laughing as Sirius regaled her with James' numerous failed attempts to get Lily to go out with him.

"Depends on the girl I guess... what do you think about me?" he asked as he held out a hand to help steady her.

"I think you're a pain in the arse really..." she replied cheekily as she took his hand and jumped across a small gap in the boulders.

This earned her a shove. Luckily, Sirius waited until her footing was more solid before pushing her.

"I think you're one of the first girls I've spent this much time just talking with," he said quietly.

"Why?" she asked.

"Dunno really. I guess it's like I said - you intrigue me."

"Oh yes! I forgot I intrigue you!" she cried, grabbing his shoulders and shaking him slightly as she laughed.

Instead of letting her go when she pulled back, he grabbed one of her hands and put it in the crook of his elbow, before continuing to walk.

She took the opportunity to voice something which had been at the back of her mind since she talked to Lily in the antechamber the previous day. "Lily said we've known each other for months..."

"So?"

"Well, it's not really true, is it?" she asked, frowning at the ground as they walked. "We've known each other for three weeks plus three small conversations. And I'm being kind by calling me calling you a prick a conversation, and one of those three weeks we weren't talking."

"True..." Sirius said, looking towards the trees lining the lake.

"She said you looked for me?" Bess pried.

"Uh- Yeah. When I thought you went here. I was lucky Remus and James had met you too. Peter didn't believe you existed at first. Think he called you a cocky ghost!" He laughed at the memory. "But then I saw you again at the Three Broomsticks, so you couldn't have gone to a different school like Remus thought. Then I saw you during OWLs... you didn't help anything by running away from me during the Potions practical..."

"I did not run..." Bess tried. "I simply... okay yeah, I ran."

"Did anyone ever tell you I had to pay Michaels ten galleons to switch seats with me during the History of Magic exam?" he asked, shaking his head. "Ridiculous. And imagine my surprise when not only did you keep disappearing after exams, but you weren't on the train back home. But then you were there at Madam Malkins... But then not on the train back to school... I was beginning to believe you were a ghost until I noticed you sitting at our table."

"And then you accused me of lying to you..."

Sirius grimaced. "Yeah... Not my finest hour, but I was really confused. After an awful summer, the only thing I wanted to do was finally find the hot Hufflepuff-"

"Hot?" Bess asked, trying not to blush as she realised that the attraction between them was mutual. He's still sixteen! Get it together! she thought, mentally slapping herself.

Sirius rolled his eyes and continued. "Come off it. Anyway... then there you were, sitting at our table... I dunno really, it- I- I find it hard to trust sometimes, and I thought you'd lied to me. It just felt like something was really wrong."

"Truer words..." Bess replied to his last sentence with a grimace, thinking of what she'd been recovering from.

"Merlin! Sorry. Yeah, course it was. I really am a prick aren't I?" Sirius asked with a frown.

She smiled up at him and nudged him as they walked. "Nah, you have your moments but..." She pursed her lips and looked to the side, "can I be honest?"

Sirius laughed. "I think we're in an honesty bubble right now, so hell yeah!"

Bess stopped suddenly and stared at Sirius. "What... is an honesty bubble?"

"It's a... you don't... oh for Merlin's... Ugh. James' mum said all families have an honesty bubble where they tell each other everything."

"And you believed her? How old are you?" she asked, bringing her hand to her mouth to try and hide her laughter.

"Yeah... Well, my family didn't really write the book on functional families, so I just went along with it. Now I feel like an idiot. I'm going to kill James!" he said somewhat angrily.

"Even more of an idiot..." Bess clarified for him, smiling as her teasing had the desired reaction.

"Sometimes I don't like you..." he said with a smile before tugging her back in to his side. He moved his arm to around her shoulders and started to walk again. After a beat, Bess wrapped her arm around his waist and was pleasantly surprised to find that he didn't push her away, he simply slid his spare hand into his trouser pocket.

They lapsed in to silence for a minute or so until Bess broke it. "I was a bit... tipsy when we first met."

"Really?" he asked, looking down at her, grinning.

"Just a bit..." she admitted. "Enough to not know when I was thinking something and saying it out loud..."

"That's brilliant!" he replied, grinning. "Wait... were you drunk when you called me out for wearing a t-shirt but not knowing the band?"

"Two things," Bess said as she held up two fingers, counting off each point. "First, you were surprisingly honest about that, you could have pretended you knew them. Second, you were being a poser," Bess said as Sirius chuckled. "And third-"

"Miss Coulson, am I going to have to teach you how counting works?" he asked, raising an eyebrow, a half smile playing on his face.

"What? No... Why?" she asked, frowning.

"Well, you said 'two things' and are now trying to illegally add a third point."

"Illegally?" she asked with a laugh. "Oh please do excuse me, Master Black!" She rolled her eyes dramatically.

Sirius frowned deeply and stopped walking. Bess, who had continued, found herself pulled back. Unable to stop herself, she collided with his chest.

"What?" she asked, looking up into his eyes.

"I grew up being called Master Black..." he said slowly, moving his hands to grip her waist.

Bess cursed inwardly. Of course! Kreacher would have called him that or Master Sirius!

"Sorry, I didn't know," she lied.

"No, don't apologise. That all stopped this summer. It was just a shock to hear someone say it again," he said quietly, as he absent-mindedly ran his hands up and down her sides.

"Are... are you okay?" she asked, trying to focus on his face, not his hands.

"Yeah... Sorry. This is weird, but... just... Can you say it again?" he asked.

"Master Black?" she repeated with a frown.

Sirius took a moment before his face burst into the goofy smile Bess had seen at the Quidditch try-outs.

"I thought I'd hate it..." he whispered, staring down at her. "Odd."

They stood there for a few moments before Bess cleared her throat and, grabbing his arm, pulled him along again.

"So uh- where were we going with all this?" she managed to choke out as she linked arms with him.

Sirius smiled. "I think you were saying you were a drunk-"

"Oi!" Bess interjected, whacking his arm lightly.

"But yeah, I think it was about us not actually knowing each other."

Bess sighed deeply, a frown playing on her face. "I guess I'd just like to know why we can talk like we've known each other for years...?" Bess asked, not wanting to add that she felt like she'd known him for years because he was a character in her favourite book series. She wondered how on earth she'd approach that subject.

"I don't know," he replied. "James, Remus... even Peter... I've always felt comfortable with them. James the most."

"I would have thought you were brothers..." Bess muttered, staring across the water as they walked through the sand.

Sirius didn't say anything for a bit, and she wanted to give him as much space as possible, so she didn't look at him.

Finally, after minutes, he whispered, "No. He's my best friend. Better than a brother."

"And so.. if you can talk to me like this, then you... think of me as a hot sister?"

Sirius' eyes widened and he began to splutter. "What? No! Hell no!" he cried.

Bess threw her head back and laughed as he continued to splutter.

"No! Merlin! No!"

Bess, who had fallen on to the sand laughing now, took over a minute to recover. When she finally stopped, she giggled up at Sirius, who was smiling down at her.

"If you don't think of me like a sister, then...?" she asked.

Sirius shrugged and, as smooth as silk, turned around and threw himself on to his back next to her. "I like you. I want to know you more. I-" he took a deep breath, "I felt- when you called me a bully I uh-"

Bess groaned. "I'm sorry for that."

"No. You- you were right. That was- that was the hard thing about it. I- I never thought- I- argh." He took a deep breath. "Look. When you said that, I felt embarrassed and..." He trailed off.

Bess stared up at the sky as she asked, "Is it killing you to be this honest?"

"Remus said I had to be."

"Why?"

Sirius frowned at the sky. When he didn't answer, Bess rolled onto her side, propped herself up on her elbow with her palm cupping her chin, and looked down at him.

"You don't have to answer anything you don't want to," she said quietly.

His eyes flickered to hers and he whispered, "It's always like this."

"What do you mean?"

"Whenever we talk," he said, his eyes flicking to her lips before making eye contact with her again. "It's like you don't care who I am. It's so easy."

"Is that bad?" she asked, gulping slightly.

"No," he replied. "No it's... different. I-"

"Oi! Lovebirds!"

Bess and Sirius looked up sharply to see James, sat astride a broomstick, hovering near them. He had a spare broom tucked under his arm. "Sorry, I need Sirius to help me with Quidditch practice. Bludgers aren't gonna hit themselves!"

"Sorry mate but-" Sirius began.

Bess wasn't sure what he was going to say, but part of her thought he might want to stay with her a little more.

"Sirius. Go. I'll be here later. James might not be if he tries to play beater and chaser," she said with a smile.

"We still need to talk about what happened last week," Sirius said, frowning.

"I know. Later. But right now, James needs you."

"How will you get back? Is it safe? I should walk you," he said quickly, sitting up.

Bess rolled her eyes and mirrored his movement. "The castle is literally over there," she said, pointing over to the steps leading up to the castle, "and I might not have mad spell skills yet, but I think I'll be okay. If something happens, you can say I told you so, but the blame will lie with me. Now go," she said, pushing him towards James. She wanted him to spend as much time with James as possible, just in case she didn't manage to change things.

"Thanks, love," Sirius said, before cupping Bess' right cheek in his hand and kissing her left.

As she tried not to blush, he jumped up, took the spare broom from James, and set off across the lake. She watched the boys flying and laughing together until they became little blips in the distance.

The walk back to the castle was quiet. She didn't bump into anyone, and arrived at the Entrance Hall as the girls, all dressed in weekend clothes as well, were heading down for lunch. Joining them, she realised just how at ease she suddenly felt.

But, she wondered, is this the calm before the storm?

As she sat down at the Gryffindor table she got her answer - she looked across the hall and saw three boys sitting at the last table, all wearing Slytherin robes, and glaring at her.

She gulped audibly, and ate less lunch than normal.

Chapter Text

The next Saturday, Bess found herself within a rather large crowd headed towards the Quidditch pitch.

For the past week she'd been chaperoned everywhere she'd gone, and had thus far avoided bumping in to anyone too unsavoury.

She had, however, been called names in the hallway. She'd had to drag Sirius away from a fight after she'd been called a Mudblood by a seventh year, and hadn't told him about Snape and his Slytherin friend calling her it in each of their Potions classes.

She'd also dismissed the incident where her cauldron bubbled over and almost exploded in her face... the time when a Slytherin 'accidentally' spilt juice on her while she was walking to History of Magic... and the time when she'd barely managed to escape running in to a small hoard of angry looking students and had hidden in a broom closet for three hours until Sirius turned up to ask her what she was doing.

They'd grown closer over the past week, even closer than before, and there had been a couple of times when she'd thought he would try to deepen their relationship, but she'd shied away from it.

It wasn't that she didn't want to anymore, not even that she thought she was too old for him at this point, but because after his reaction to her being called a Mudblood, she hadn't the heart to tell him about her scars yet, and she wanted him to know before anything more happened between them.

So, he taught her some spells and helped her with practice instead, so she could begin to learn to defend herself.

The girls, who had taken a keen interest in Bess' relationship status, had even asked what was going on between them. Bess had shrugged and, when Skye had brought up that Scott Rubis liked her, Bess had also shrugged.

Now the end of the first week of October, it was also the first Quidditch match of the season, and Bess, Jo and Solstice were battling their way through the crowd to find their seats.

"Just watch out for Skye! She and Potter are two thirds of the chasers!" Jo yelled over the noise.

"Or you can pretend to watch them and just stare at the beaters..." Solstice added.

Bess frowned and called, "I thought your boyfriend got jealous!"

"He does! But-" Solstice tried.

"But they had a fight yesterday so she doesn't care right now!" Jo yelled over Solstice.

"We have one before every Gryffindor match!" Solstice yelled back.

"Why?" Bess asked in a normal voice - the trio had reached the stands and begun to climb up the stairs towards the open section they'd sat at during try-outs.

"He's a Hufflepuff and believes they'll win the cup every year," Solstice said with a shrug and roll of her eyes.

"He's not wrong though. They won last year and the year before..." Jo trailed off at the look on Solstice's face.

Solstice sighed. "He is wrong. Skye's been my friend longer than I've been with Derek, and I refuse to even let a thought enter my head that she won't win."

"That's quite sweet," Bess said with a smile.

"She's lying! She has a secret crush on Fredricks. Likes to watch him fly," Jo said, rolling her eyes and stopping in the aisle. "Over here."

As the girls began to walk along the row, squeezing past students, Bess felt something twist in her gut. As excited as she was for her first Quidditch match - Gryffindor vs Hufflepuff - she was still unable to stop thinking about the glares she'd been receiving on the way down to the match. She kept looking over her shoulder, just in case.

"There you are! What took you so long?" Lily asked as the trio arrived at the seats Mary and she had been saving for them.

"Lils, I love you," Jo said, "but we have this chat at every game. It is a Saturday. Just because you two like to get up early, doesn't mean we need to."

Bess laughed at Jo's words and pulled out a large box of Bertie Bott's Every Flavour Beans. Bess and Jo had, indeed, woken up late, and had then had to wait for Solstice who was putting on elaborate Gryffindor themed make up.

While waiting for Solstice, Bess had asked Jo to magically enchant some parchment to become a massive sign, and she'd written up a couple of messages of support to raise during the game. She was glad the girls had chosen to sit at the back of the stands, because then she wouldn't impact anyone's view.

As the players walked onto the pitch, the noise surrounding Bess became deafening.

"Is it always like this?" she yelled at Lily, who was sat beside her.

"Always!" Lily replied, equally loudly.

For a second, Bess stopped and stared at the redhead, heart beating out of her chest as she realised she'd just heard her say a word that Harry would hear years later. She recovered quickly, shaking her head and forcing a smile back onto her face and joining in the screaming.

She watched as the captains shook hands, before everyone mounted their brooms and rose majestically into the sky. The sick feeling in her stomach began to dissipate as the pure adrenaline took over.

"AND THEY'RE OFF!" came the voice of the commentator. "Hufflepuff's line up, which is relatively unchanged from last year, is sure to trounce Gryffindor's."

The boos from the Gryffindor stands overwhelmed even the speakers, and it was only once McGonagall had managed to get them to calm down that the commentator continued.

"In the past minute, Potter and his team have proved me wrong! One goal and they're back in possession of the quaffle!"

Bess jumped up and down grinning and held up her first sign - 'POTTER FOR PRESIDENT' with a simple pair of glasses drawn above the words.

She felt a tad embarrassed, but could see other people holding up banners, so thought at least she was getting into the spirit of things.

"POTTER! POTTER! POTTER!" Jo started to chant, pumping her fist in the air. Soon enough, the whole stand was yelling his name.

James flew past as part of his formation, and grinned at the girls, pointing to the sign and punching the air.

After a few minutes Bess pulled down her sign, her arms tired.

Half an hour later, the score 50-20 to Gryffindor, Skye was hit by a particularly large looking beater.

"- can't believe Hooch is gonna let that one slide! I mean I'm a Ravenclaw and want Gryffindor to lose and even I know that was underhanded. Potter seems to think so too - he's headed straight for-"

The crowd winced as James barrelled into the player who had injured Skye, repeating the whole exchange exactly as it had happened to her. Bess thought it was quite smart - Hooch couldn't penalise him since she hadn't penalised the other player.

"He's so hot headed!" Lily shouted to Bess.

"No! He's incredibly loyal!" Bess replied. "Tell me you wouldn't do the same thing?"

Lily just blushed and shook her head. Bess grinned and held up her next sign above Lily's head.

It was even simpler - a giant speech bubble which read 'YOU GOT THIS, POTTER'. James saw the sign a few minutes later and he beamed. Lily, slightly confused, looked around and then up. She immediately whacked Bess in the side. "You little-"

"Do you want him to lose?" Bess asked, laughing.

"Of course not!"

"Do you think he's got this?"

"Well, yes," Lily replied honestly. "He's killing it out there."

"Then what's the issue?" Bess asked teasingly.

"I- I- Well..." Lily blushed even more than before and glared at her playfully.

Bess threw her head back and laughed again, dropping her sign and picking up the last of the three - 'LIONS EAT BADGERS FOR BREAKFAST.' Underneath, she'd drawn a large bowl, a carton of milk next to it, and a badger lying in the milk filled bowl with X X over its eyes.

Her least favourite of the three, but she'd lost most of her creativity with the first two, and she'd already told Jo she was making three, so she'd had to quickly make something up.

However, the crowd absolutely loved it. Jo, who had been leading chants all morning, began to point at her sign and roar.

Soon enough, all of the Gryffindors were roaring and yelling as James, Skye, and the other chaser managed to increase their lead to 130-50.

Bess lowered the sign and watched the Gryffindor seeker, who seemed to have seen the snitch. She elbowed Lily and pointed at a speck of gold in the sky. "I think he's seen it!" she yelled.

"- and Rubis has seen the snitch!"

Bess gasped. She hadn't realised Scott was on the team, and had been too busy taking everything in to hear who the team members were.

A moment later, Scott had caught the snitch and Gryffindor officially won the match, 280-50.

As they joined the stream of students exiting the pitch, Bess noticed Grace ahead of her. Indicating to Lily, Bess pushed ahead, trying to get to her friend.

Though, when she approached her, Grace's voice sounded out above the rest of the students around them.

"-so good! I- ugh! He's just so good! Did you see when he came out of the dive?" Grace gushed. "He was so happy!"

"I still think he's an idiot!" replied her friend. Bess didn't recognise the girl who was wearing a Ravenclaw scarf, but stayed back a little, listening in.

"No! He's- he's-" Grace said, waving her hands around.

"Grace," her friend replied with a sigh, "you like him, and he's going after your new friend! He's an idiot, whether he plays Quidditch well or not!"

Bess' eyes widened and she began to slow down in the crowd. Her curiosity had got the better of her, and now she was sure that she shouldn't be hearing any of this.

"But she's lovely," Grace replied, sounding sad.

"So?"

"So? She's- you didn't see him when we all found out what happened to her," Grace replied. "He wanted to go and give her a hug. He didn't want to be in the library with me."

"Grace!" her friend moaned, wrapping an arm round her shoulders.

Bess definitely didn't want to hear the rest of their conversation, so she pushed backwards through the crowd. She spotted the girls over to the left and ran back over to them, linking arms with Solstice.

She didn't say anything to them about what she'd overheard, but her thoughts all the way to the castle weren't filled with the match, they were filled with how to get Grace and Scott together.

Because as much as Bess thought he was lovely, and might have said yes to a date if he'd asked before she'd grown closer to Sirius, she knew what it was like to feel unrequited love. And she wanted to make sure that Grace had every chance of getting the man she wanted.

xXx

Drink in hand, Bess looked around the common room, grinning. The music was thumping and she couldn't help but feel ecstatic.

It was her first proper Gryffindor party, and it felt like she was back at university.

Everyone was dancing, drinking rounds of butterbeer (apart from the younger students who were all avoiding the drinks table and were drinking water and juice), and Bess was sipping her fifth butterbeer of the evening. She reasoned that if Harry was allowed to drink one in third year, they must have a very low amount of alcohol in them.

She'd spent the evening so far chatting with, laughing with, and hugging, Sirius. They'd only parted ways after they'd finished their fourth butterbeers, splitting up so he could run to the loo and she could grab another drink. Which meant that Bess was, to say the least, having a bloody fantastic time.

It was by the drinks table waiting for Sirius to get back, that Scott found her.

"Why aren't you dancing?" he asked with an easy smile. He was still wearing most of his Quidditch robes, just like the rest of the team.

"Ah, I don't have a partner," she replied, grinning as he came to a stop in front of her.

"What about me?" he asked, leaning towards her and putting a hand on her arm. She in turn placed her hand on his forearm.

"Why don't you ask Grace?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Grace? Why?" He swayed slightly.

Bess pursed her lips. She wasn't sure what to say or do, and before she knew it, she'd blurted out, "Because I think you should ask her to the next Hogsmeade trip." And now that she'd started, she found it incredibly hard to stop. "I think you'd make a great couple!"

Scott frowned. "You do?"

"Yeah! Honestly! I think you'd be great for each other!" she said, grinning.

"But we're friends," he replied, still frowning.

"Don't friendships make the best foundations for relationships?" she asked, tilting her head.

"Do they?" He frowned and straightened up.

"I think so," she replied.

There was silence between them both for a moment before she asked, "Okay, what do you think about first thing in the morning?"

"Uh- merlin..." he said, thinking. "Probably wondering what first lesson would be if it's a weekday, and if Grace..." He trailed off, his eyes widening.

Bess smiled triumphantly. "And last thing at night?"

"I- probably something Grace said..." he replied, a small smile playing on his lips now.

"And who makes you laugh?" she asked, trying not to laugh at the expression on his face.

"Grace," he replied with a small laugh, completely cottoning on to what she was saying.

"And why haven't you tried to ask me out yet?" Bess asked finally.

"Well... I did try once," he replied, "but then Grace said... oh."

It was like a lightbulb turned on above his head, and he grinned. He immediately abandoned his drink on the table beside her, grabbed her face, and kissed her roughly on the cheek before running off.

Laughing, she stepped backwards and almost lost her balance. She frowned at the butterbeer in her hand as she realised the warmth up and down her body wasn't just from the non-alcoholic butterbeer - it must have been spiked! She thought over how many she'd drunk - five. Crap.

The room suddenly became a little bit more disorientating, and Bess took a few moments to right herself. After the spinning feeling passed, she squinted at the clock and tried to figure out the time.

12.04am. Sirius had been gone for the best part of 15 minutes, and Bess needed to sit down.

Just as she was wondering where she could sit, she looked up and saw a flash of red and blonde hair on a sofa across the dancefloor. Lily and Solstice. She slowly walked over.

"I just think he should wait and see what she says-" Lily stopped talking as Bess joined them.

"Where's Rubis?" James asked with a frown and narrowed eyes as Bess sat on the sofa next to him. Lily, Solstice, Skye and Jo were on the sofa across from them and Remus and Peter were sat in armchairs, creating a little circle.

It seemed like the group had set up a little hang out station with drinks and snacks.

As she smiled at them all drunkenly, she thought she noticed Peter and Remus glaring outright at her, and the girls looking pursed lipped and disapproving. She needed to sober up, and quickly. Though she didn't know why they were being like this, since Sirius was the one who introduced her to firewhiskey and hot chocolate. Where is he anyway? she wondered.

Leaning forwards to grab a cauldron cake, Bess answered James's question. "Hopefully he's with Grace. Just call me matchmaker Bess!" As she said the last, she made finger guns and pretended to fire into the air whilst swaying from side to side, beaming and biting her lip. She was oddly proud that she'd managed to do this without dropping her cake or drink.

"What?" Jo asked, a serious look on her face.

Bess, who was definitely feeling the effects of the alcohol, stuffed the little cake into her mouth and took another swig of her butterbeer before looking at the bottle, swallowing, and asking, "What's in this?"

"Whiskey," James replied quickly. "Bess, you need to explain. Right. Now. Where. Is. Rubis?"

Bess, who was still frowning, looked at her hand, and then the platter of cakes. Her eyes widened. Chocolate? No! You idiot! Never drink and eat chocolate! she thought, immediately regretting her snack choice- it was well known in her university circles that she couldn't handle any kind of baked chocolate goods mixing with alcohol. If it did, she was sure to throw up that night. Hot chocolate was an exception it seemed.

Hearing a small cheer across the room, Bess whipped her head around and, placing a hand on the arm of the sofa, pushed herself up so she was half-standing. She grinned and pointed over to the corner, where Scott and Grace were sharing a kiss.

"There!" she said, grinning and pointing.

Jo looked thunderous when she stood, taking in the scene. She turned back to Bess when she sat down. "He's already moved onto another girl? Weren't you just kissing him by the drinks?"

"WHAT?" Bess whipped round, eyes wide. She laughed and shook her head. "No!" She laughed again. "I was being a good friend and," she raised a hand up as if to say 'just one moment' and smiled with her eyes shut for a second. Opening them, she continued slowly, "and setting up two other friends."

"I thought he liked you," Solstice said quietly. "Not Grace."

"Yeah," she said, shaking her head and pursing her lips, "maybe, but we had a chat just now and I explained that his person was somewhere else... and anyway, he's not who I want to kiss toni-" she stopped herself, putting a hand over her mouth. After a second, she shrugged and she sat back on the sofa with a thump. She looked over at James, who was staring at her weirdly. "What's wrong?" she asked, frowning and tilting her head to the side.

James' jaw tensed and he looked across the room. "Nothing. Excuse me," he said quickly, jumping up and practically running across the room.

"What's up with him?" Bess asked the group, who were now sharing looks. "What?"

"Uhm..." Solstice began, looking over to the place James had disappeared. Bess followed her eyeline and squinted. She could just make out James, who was poking someone on the back repeatedly.

The other boy turned round to face James and she recognised him immediately. She then noticed a familiar looking fifth year girl leaning against the wall in front of him. She was grinning and reached a hand up to touch her lips while James and Sirius spoke. Bess frowned - it looked as though Sirius was trying to get James to leave.

Then, the girl moved round between Sirius and James and pulled Sirius back down into a sloppy kiss.

James shoved Sirius' arm and said something to him again. This time, Sirius moved back, pulling away from the girl. His eyes swung over to look towards the group of sixth year's, and Bess and he made eye contact.

"Bess, I'm so-" Lily began.

Bess, who was feeling rather sick after the numerous drinks and the cauldron cake, stood up suddenly. Focussing on the other side of the room, the lights strobing, the noise deafening... combined with the chocolate cake, it was a sensory overload and made her stomach churn.

She didn't want to speak and potentially throw up on her friends, so instead she just turned and ran to the door to the girls' dormitories, ignoring her friends' calls behind her. She reached the stairs and began to climb them as fast as she could.

The door to the dormitories, which had closed behind her, was wrenched open and she heard Sirius shout up the stairs. His voice slurred slightly and she remembered that he'd been drinking the butterbeers as well. "Bess, I'm sorry! Come back, please! I can explain! I was an idiot! I thought you were with Scott!"

Bess, who was taking the steps two at a time, was grateful that he hadn't tried to put his foot on the first step - if he did, the stairs would turn into a slide and she'd surely throw up on him. His shouts and curses were drowned out as she burst into her dorm and slammed the door shut before running into the bathroom.

Once she'd emptied her stomach, she rinsed her mouth and brushed her teeth.

She was just rinsing her mouth again when she heard a banging on the bathroom door and Lily's voice calling out to her, "Bess, are you okay? Can I do anything?"

Bess' throat felt like sandpaper, but she didn't want Lily to worry, and definitely didn't want her to have to leave the celebrations just because Bess couldn't handle her drink. So she managed to choke out, "No, I- I'll be fine. Go back to the party! I want to be alone I think."

After a while of standing in front of the mirror, tears from being sick running down her face, she wiped her eyes. Feeling a lot less nauseous, but still very unsteady on her feet, she managed to get changed into her pyjama shorts and the first top she could find - a tight long sleeved t-shirt - and lay in her bed, drawing the curtains closed with a flick of her wand.

She fell asleep to the world spinning uncomfortably.

It wasn't until she woke up that she realised what she'd seen.

Was she upset? Yes. Did she think Sirius and her would share a kiss that night? Yes. Was she expecting him to run off to the loo and find a girl on the way back? No.

However, after a moment of upset, she swallowed her jealousy. Sirius wasn't hers, and could do whatever, or whoever, he wanted. She'd been in her second year at university back in her world, and she'd drunkenly kissed some people she knew when she went out clubbing. How could she say he wasn't allowed to do it too? It wasn't like he'd done it to spite her.

She reasoned that the only time she could feel angry would be if they were dating or in a relationship. Though, as she had a no cheating rule, they wouldn't be in a relationship anymore if he did that. You're getting ahead of yourself, she thought.

I just hope they're not dating now. She didn't think she'd be able to handle seeing him like that all the time. He's too young for you anyway... she tried to reason. Though that failed, as she'd been convincing herself over the past week that it would be fine - he was, after all, 17 in a month's time, and although she had the mind of a 20 year old, she was 16 here.

Drawing back the curtains around her bed, she was surprised to see all of the other beds still empty. Frowning, she put her hand to her head and groaned as she stood up too quickly.

She stumbled to the loo before swiping on some deodorant and spraying some perfume just in case she came into contact with anyone - she didn't want to smell like she had the alcohol sweats - before heading to the common room for a glass of water.

As she descended the stairs she pulled her hair up into a bun and rubbed her neck.

She opened the door leading from the girls dormitories to the common room and heard voices below her, Lily's among them. She stopped in the doorway for a minute to try and stop herself from swaying as she walked, and listened to the conversation below her.

"I still don't understand why-" came Jo's voice, which was cut off by a voice she recognised as Sirius'.

"I told you! I thought she was-"

Lily's voice drifted up next. "That's not an excuse! She sounded terrible when I went up there!"

"She didn't even answer me when I went up, she had her curtains drawn!" Jo added. They both sounded angry.

She heard Sirius let out a frustrated noise before he tried to continue, "I-"

"You hurt her!" Solstice said.

"I know! You think I don't know that?" Sirius snapped.

Bess, who had yet to connect the dots and understand that they were talking about her, yawned and rubbed her eyes as she walked into the circular room.

"Bess?" she heard Lily ask.

She just mumbled in reply, still rubbing her eyes and not looking over to that side of the room as she headed to the drinks station.

After pouring herself a glass, she downed it and looked up at the clock above the mantlepiece. It was only 1.31am! She'd only been asleep for an hour. Thank god for that. More sleep, she thought, as she poured another large glass and headed back towards the girls' dormitories.

"Bess..." Sirius whispered as he put a hand on her arm.

Stopping, she turned to look up at him and frowned at the expression on his face. He looked sad. However, all she could think about was her bed - she was exhausted and could barely think.

"Yes?" she asked with a raised eyebrow and a bleary eyed look.

"I'm so sorry. I-" Sirius choked out as a worried and sad look came over his face. Well, more worried and sad. "Your eyes are red," he whispered as he lifted a hand and gently touched her cheek.

"I think you've done enough tonight," Lily said as she pulled Bess by the arm away from him. "Come on, let's get you up to bed."

Bess was thoroughly confused, but at the word bed, gave in to Lily and let herself be pushed up the stairs.

"You're such an idiot!" she heard Jo yell.

"For Merlin's sake, Gettling! He feels bad enough alr-" James shouted back. The sound was cut off by the door to the girls' dormitories closing behind Lily.

"Boys are bloody idiots," Bess muttered as she crawled into bed and hugged her pillow.

"Yeah. They really are," Lily replied quietly, before returning to the door.

Bess, who was exhausted again, curled up into the foetal position with her back to the door and let out some sniffling and moaning noises as she tried to settle herself into a position that would make her feel the least nauseous.

She heard the door close quietly and, once she was comfortable, fell straight to sleep. She didn't wake up until it was almost dinnertime.

Chapter Text

The next few days passed in a blur of confusion, classes and homework for Bess.

When she'd arrived at dinner the night after the party, Sirius had stared at her with a weird expression on his face. Before she could go to him and see what was wrong, Jo had grabbed her and pulled her over to where the girls sat. Throughout dinner he'd continued to stare at her, until James and Remus had pulled him away. The whispers in the Great Hall had been almost overwhelming.

She'd wanted to ask what was going on, but it was like the sight of Sirius kissing another girl was now burned into her retinas. As much as she was okay with it, or at least, understood that she had no right to be jealous or angry, she couldn't help but feel weird about it all.

The girls had distracted her that mealtime, and then the week's classes had begun. She'd shaken off the weird feeling by Monday afternoon as, she'd realised happily, Sirius didn't have a new girlfriend so she wouldn't have to see him snogging anyone in front of her.

However, by Tuesday evening it became apparent that Sirius was avoiding her. She felt like she could feel him staring at her in their classes, at mealtimes, and in the common room, but if she looked his way, he was looking out of a window, at his parchment, or at the floor.

If they had to work on a class project together, he kept his distance and barely spoke to her. If she walked down a corridor he was already in, he walked the other way.

She'd taken to working in the library until almost-curfew and then walking back to the tower with Mary or Skye, just to distract herself. It had only been four days without Sirius' company but she was already missing him hopelessly.

Her homework and duelling research, however, was going amazingly well and, apart from the name calling, she was still managing to avoid any harm from other students for now. Though that may have also been down to a few well placed protego charms on her part.

By Wednesday evening though, Bess had had enough, and skipped dinner altogether, opting to stay in the common room, choosing instead to lay down on a sofa by the fire, cuddle a cushion and read the latest edition of Witch Weekly that she'd borrowed from Mary.

About 15 minutes after the dinner bell had rung, Sirius had burst in to the common room, and run straight upstairs.

She'd watched as James ran in after him, and waved to the second boy. He'd stopped in his tracks with a look of relief on his face, nodded at her, and then waited for Sirius to come back.

When Sirius had re-entered the room, he'd been holding a large piece of parchment in his hand. He'd been looking at it while walking, and had stopped suddenly in the middle of the common room, frowning down at it, before he looked up sharply and stared at her.

As he looked at her, she'd had half a mind to slap him and tell him to stop being such a prat, but she hadn't wanted to completely obliterate their friendship if there was any chance of him speaking to her again.

Instead, she'd stared back, until finally, James had cleared his throat and Sirius had followed him out of the portrait hole.

She'd immediately retreated to her bed, curling up with a couple of past editions of the magazine, and a large box of chocolate frogs.

xXx

As she walked round the corner to the entrance hall the next morning, Bess found herself walking behind the Marauders, who were also on their way to breakfast.

Bess was late, having decided to have a longer shower than usual. The boys were just late risers.

"- just chocolate!" James' voice echoed through the hall.

"It's not though-" Remus replied. He was walking with his shoulders drooped.

"Bloody hell Moony, I told you I'll go for a walk tonight and get you more." Sirius snapped.

Remus sighed heavily. "I need some now. You know I get tired more."

It's the full moon tomorrow, she thought to herself.

Sirius groaned. "Merlin. Look, I'm sorry mate, I didn't think to check how much you had left. I just-" he let out a frustrated noise, and continued in a more teasing tone, "it's your own fault really, you're the one who always says to eat chocolate when you feel like shit."

"I know." Remus replied, and Bess could hear the smile in his voice. She watched as he flung and arm around his friend's shoulder. "Has she talked to you yet?"

"No. I'm- I don't..." he trailed off and ran a hand through his dark locks.

James slapped a hand on his back and said "tomorrow'll get your mind off it!"

"It?"

"Her."

Not wanting to hear any more, and feeling like she was trespassing, Bess turned around and walked the other way. She headed back to her dorm room slowly, enjoying the emptiness of the halls.

It was only after she'd grabbed what she was looking for, that she realised that she'd have to run to get to the Potions classroom in time.

As she ran up to the classroom door, she could see Slughorn beginning to close it. His rule was: you're late if I've already closed my door. And so far, Bess hadn't been late.

"Ah, Miss Coulson!" He cried as she stopped in front of him, trying to catch her breath. "In a hurry?"

"Sorry sir," she panted as she walked in to the classroom and over to her cauldron. She noticed Sirius putting away the large piece of parchment and frowned. Who is he always looking for?

"Not to worry, not to worry! You're lucky I was distracted! I would've had to have taken five points!" He said with a smile and a wag of his finger.

Bess, who was still panting while shrugging off her outer robe and blazer, smiled at him before pulling off her jumper and tucking her shirt, which had raised to her midriff as she took off her jumper, back into her skirt as she sat down. James and Remus had been looking the other way, and she was glad they hadn't noticed.

She ignored the feeling that Sirius was looking at her again, she was sure he wasn't, as she loosened her tie, undid the first button of her shirt, tilted her head back, and fanned herself with her hand while she caught her breath.

"You okay?" Lily asked in a whisper once she was breathing normally again less than a minute later.

Bess nodded and began pulling her equipment out of her bag. Today's class looked like a lecture, rather than a practical, and she was grateful for the chance to sit down.

"Remus," she hissed in a whisper. He looked up at her and, as Slughorn walked to the front of the class, she grabbed the large package she'd taken from her dorm room and chucked it at him.

He frowned down at the package before a shocked look came over his face. He mouthed "is this why you were late?"

Bess nodded in response, and mouthed back "had to run. Eat some," before pulling out her quill and starting to write down what was written on the board.

She heard a faint snap as Remus took a bit of the giant chocolate bar.

"Bess," he hissed across the table.

Luckily, Slughorn was too busy chatting to a Hufflepuff to notice the exchange.

She looked up and frowned as he held the bar out to her. "I'm okay," she whispered with a shake of the head.

"No, here. It's yours," he whispered back.

Bess cocked her head to the side, raised an eyebrow, and stared at him with wide eyes until he slowly took the chocolate back, smiled, and deposited it into his bag. She let out a "mhmm", and dipped her quill in her ink pot.

"That was really nice of you." Sirius whispered. She looked up at him.

"Talking to me again are you?" She asked moodily, keeping her voice down.

After a moment, he frowned and said "the girls told me I couldn't- that you wouldn't-"

"Wouldn't and couldn't what?"

"Because of the party... what you saw..."

"What I saw was you kissing someone. I don't understand how in god's name that escalates to you ignoring me and acting like I'm a leper, but please... explain your side to me."

Sirius' eyes widened in disbelief. "I- I thought you wouldn't want to talk to me."

"Why?"

"Because... well... I kissed someone else."

"I don't think you're the first person to have a drunken kiss, Sirius." Bess whispered impatiently.

"Wait, so you're not angry with me?"

"Wh- why would I be angry with you? Have you been avoiding me because you decided I was mad?" It was like all of the annoyance she'd had over the past few days fell away. If the girls were involved, he probably wouldn't have been able to get a word in edgeways.

"Uh-" Sirius bit his lip and looked at the ceiling. "Merlin. Yes. You- you don't care?"

"Honesty bubble?" She asked slowly.

"Honesty bubble." He replied, looking at her again.

"I will admit I was jealous, but I have no right to be. We're not together and you can do whatever you want." She whispered, looking down at her parchment.

"You were?" Sirius asked as he leant towards her.

Bess decided Potions wasn't the place to talk about her feelings, and whispered back, "are you or are you not Sirius probably-a-stupid-star-themed-middle-name Black?" She asked, trying to break the tension.

He sent her a small half smile as he replied. "I take offence to th-"

"Are you or are you not?" She asked again, leaning even closer to him so they were only a hair's breadth away.

She could see Sirius' pupils dilate, as they flickered quickly across her face before he finally looked back in to her eyes. "I am."

"And did we not talk at the beach about how you're an absolute idiot who has zero game with the ladies?"

"Actually, we said Jame- sorry. We did."

"Right. So once you apologise for being an arse and we have a chat about everything, we can be friends again if you want." With that, she pulled back and turned to face the front again.

"I'm s-" he began to whisper.

"Not here! Christ. How insincere do you want to look?" She whispered back, shooting him a glare and rolling her eyes.

When she turned around again, she made eye contact with Lily and smiled and winked. Lily grinned back at her and they began to take their notes.

She felt lighter than she had all week, and this time, when she felt him looking at her, she turned, and he was. Each time she'd catch him, they'd share a smile before going back to their notes.

xXx

After their double Defence Against The Dark Arts lesson with Jasper, Bess had suggested Sirius and she go for a walk to chat. They'd grabbed some lunch from the Great Hall and were now sat in a window seat down a deserted corridor.

"So you thought I was kissing Scott... so you decided to get your own back by kissing someone else?" Bess asked with narrowed eyes.

"Uh- I guess? I don't know anymore. I- well." Sirius took a deep breath and fiddled with the apple in his hand.

"You don't have-"

"I do. Now even more than ever, I need you to know what was going on in my head. It's- there's something about you. It's like I don't even need to try, I just trust you completely. So it's like I'm looking for reasons not to." He looked around as he spoke, a frown on his face.

"That makes sense."

"It does?" He asked quickly, looking at her.

"I think so..." Bess said, trailing off as she brought her legs up, tucking her knees under her chin and wrapping her arms around her shins. "But then again, I might not be the best judge of character!"

"Remus said you'd listen..."

"Why is Remus your authority on women? Does he even have a girlfriend?" She asked, cocking her head to the side."

"Uh- no, but he uh- well, he's just a bit more perceptive than James and me, and... he told James to write a letter this summer and uh- well, the recipient has been nice to him this year. He just seems to know what to do."

"You mean he doesn't stick his foot in it all the time?" She asked quietly, looking down at her knees.

"You're right. I thought you were hurting me. So I- I tried to do the same to you. All it ended up doing was proving I don't deserve-" he stopped mid sentence and shook his head. After a moment's pause, he added quietly, "I can't believe you got Rubis to go out with Bowmarket. They've been tiptoeing around that one for years."

Bess, who was still thinking about what he'd been trying to say, stared out of the open window and watched the owls flying around the lake.

They were silent for over five minutes. Bess could feel Sirius staring at her again, but she didn't look at him.

"I'm sorry," Sirius said finally.

Bess didn't look at him as she took a deep breath and then replied in soft voice, "you have to stop it. Whether it does hurt me or not, whether you trust me or not, you have to know that I would never knowingly hurt you, and I can't explain to you why or how, but I will always try and protect you and our friends.

"But you have to give me something in return. You have to treat me with respect. You can't just jump to the conclusion that I've hurt you so you can just throw me away."

"I don't. I- you're not disposable to me. This summer, when I saw you in Diagon Alley... I'd been having a terrible time and... seeing you? Our chat? It was like something in me woke up again. Like I could keep going.

"I keep thinking you're going to shove me away or get rid of me, but every time you give me another chance. Another chance to be better. To do better. I don't- I'm not- I'm worried I'm not worth it."

"You are." Bess said quietly, still staring out the window. "After we first met I thought you'd be more confident than this though."

"I am normally. Something about you brings out a side I've only ever shown to Remus, James and Peter. Even then, more James than anyone else."

"It's ok to be vulnerable."

"Emotions aren't okay in my family. Push them down, repress them. It's all we do. I-"

"You said I was being emotional a couple of times." She whispered.

"I know. I've thought about that a lot. I think I couldn't handle the fact that I was upset or- or angry, or- or I that I care so much what you think of me. So I lashed out."

Bess simply nodded, now watching the giant squid reach its tentacles out of the lake to try and grab an owl.

"Bess?" He asked quietly. When she didn't reply, he asked again, "love?"

Bess took a deep breath in and finally turned to him. Her eyes were filled with unshed tears. "When this all happens, it makes me want to run away, to go home. But I can't. I've tried to find a way to, but I don't think I can go back.

"I'm stuck here and it feels like I'm clinging on with no idea what's going on. I even had to get Lily to explain what a Mudblood is to me. I feel like I've forgotten all of these majorly significant, but little, things and one of these days it's going to be my downfall.

"And then you ignore me, or push me away, and it's like someone's come along to finish the job and push me over the side."

They feel in to silence again, before Bess spoke again.

"Why did you go up against that Slytherin the other week?" She asked quietly.

"You're going to be so... ashamed... of me. I- James and I were walking past and I heard someone asking you out. I just saw red. So when Fawley went to hex me, I just- I just let it out."

"Why did you see red?"

"Because- because- and I know you're not, but... you're- you're the girl in Diagon Alley. In the Three Broomsticks. In Madam Malkin's. You're my- you're my dre- you're min-"

The school bell rang, interrupting Sirius' words. He didn't continue, and Bess simply sighed. She wiped her eyes and picked up her bag.

With a flick of his wand, Sirius got rid of their lunch.

"I have History of Magic." Bess said, pointing in one direction. She was sure he had Arithmancy, which was in a different direction.

"I'll walk you." He said, slinging his bag over his shoulder.

"No, you should go find James and the boys."

"You have a terrible knowledge of this castle, and I'm pretty sure you don't even know where we are." He said with a small chuckle. "Let me walk you?"

Bess sighed deeply, dropped her bag, closed her eyes with a frown, and rubbed her eyes before crossing her arms around her waist.

She just needed a second - she didn't know how to feel. She'd just opened up to him and felt incredibly vulnerable. Knowing that he'd intentionally hurt her... She could rationalise it but it still hurt.

Sirius gave her a moment before she heard the thud of his bag hitting the floor and he reached out to her. She felt his hands cup her face and felt him step in front of her.

When she didn't move away from him, she felt his breath on her face as he moved even closer.

Slowly, he nuzzled her cheek with his nose and she gasped slightly. She felt him stop, and could feel his lips just inches away from her.

"Love?" She heard him whisper, his breath fanning across her face.

"Pads?" She replied, still not opening her eyes as she moved her hands to his chest.

Using his nickname was her test - if he was okay with that, then he trusted her enough for her to believe that he would try not to hurt her again - he'd said only his closest friends called him that.

It was his turn to gulp before he took a deep breath.

Torturously slowly, he placed a light kiss on her cheek, followed by another lower down her cheek, another on her chin, another on the tip of her nose, and then, finally, she knew he was going to kiss her.

She could almost feel his lips on hers as his nose brushed against hers. She opened her mouth slightly as he tilted her head up, sliding one hand into her mass of curls, the other moving to the back of her neck.

"Padfoot?" Called James as he walked up behind Sirius.

Bess' eyes shot open. She could have laughed. Of course. With a sad smile she stepped back and gently pulled Sirius' hands down.

"Oh shit, sorry! I'll come back." James said as he finally reached them and took in the scene in front of him. Sirius hadn't taken his eyes off Bess.

"No, that's- that's okay. I have a class." She said, smiling through her still-tear-filled vision at the bespectacled git who now stood behind Sirius.

She didn't want Sirius to lose any time with James, so knew they'd have to continue this later. Though, she had a feeling that for her, the moment had passed. She'd need a lot more time to rebuild that level of trust.

"Love," Sirius said, staring at her, and trying to pull his wrist out of her grip so he could reach for her again.

"History of Magic," she said, stepping further back still, dropping his wrists, and pointing to herself, "Arithmancy." She said, pointing at the boys.

She nodded, picked up her bag, and walked past them, retracing their earlier steps until she found herself in the Entrance Hall. She could find her way to History of Magic from there.

"Bess?" She pursed her lips, took a deep gasping breath, and smiled.

"Hey! How are you?" She asked the sandy haired boy in front of her.

"Good... are you okay?" He asked back.

"I- I will be. Uh- I've got class." She said distractedly, pointing up the grand staircase. She nodded and took another deep breath, sending Remus a small smile, before she set off.

For the whole of her lesson she was distracted, staring at the board, thinking about what Sirius had said about his actions.

She didn't manage to take any notes that day.

She had a free period after the class, and so found herself wandering around the castle aimlessly, trying to get rid of the sinking feeling in her gut.

As she turned a corner, she almost collided with someone.

"Merlin!" Came a deep voice.

"I'm so sorry!" Bess gasped, bending down to pick up the stack of parchment which the man had dropped.

As she stood up, she realised exactly who she'd walked into - Professor Selket. They stared at each other for minutes before she spoke.

"Sir..."

He didn't reply at first, he just frowned deeply and took a deep breath, steeling himself. "B- B- Bess." He managed to stammer out.

"I'm sorry." She said, as her face scrunched up and she began to cry. It was just the last straw, seeing Selket, and her emotions poured out.

"No." He replied, standing up straight and gasping, tears of his own welling in his eyes. "No. I- I haven't- I'm sorry. Lu- Lucas-" he gasped out. "Lucas asked me to- to teach- to protect- to protect you. I can't-"

"Sir."

"I can't even- I can't even look at you and-"

"You're talking to me like you know me..."

Selket looked at her. He looked confused. "You don't know me?"

Bess shook her head slowly. She could feel the tears running down her face as she spoke, "I thought you knew. They... I was obliviated. It... it took everything. I- uhm-" she began to stammer under his suddenly intense gaze. "I've taught myself everything I know. I don't remember you, Lucas... my parents. Did we know each other?"

"I went too far." He whispered.

"What?"

"I- it was me. I- I was the one who obliviated you. If- no one told you?"

Bess shook her head.

"I shouldn't have. I just couldn't handle the screaming. They- they- they thought it was the best thing to do and I pretended I could- I could do it. I- I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to be sorry for. I'm- I'm so sorry you had to see all of that."

"He was a good man."

"Then why...?"

"I can't- I can't speak to you anymore. Not- not today. I- Merlin. I need a drink." He looked around and wiped his eyes roughly before staring at the floor, and finally taking the stack of parchment from her hand.

"Sir?" Bess asked, tears still streaming down her face as she stared at the portrait behind Selket.

"Yes?"

"If I wasn't in the sixth year class, w- w- would you teach them? The s- s- students I mean."

"Yes."

"If I promise you I won't go to any classes other than the T- T- Thursday l- l- lessons with Jasper, will you teach them?"

She couldn't believe she hadn't thought about it before. His problem was with her, not with the others. This way, at least she'd be taught some of the curriculum and have some practical practice, rather than everyone suffering - the other sixth year class filled with Slytherins and Hufflepuffs had a five week head start on her friends since Selket had been teaching them.

"Yes."

"Okay." Bess nodded slowly, wiping away her tears and taking in a deep, shaky breath before whispering to herself, "I taught myself the OWL curriculum. I can do the same for NEWTs."

Selket simply nodded and walked past her.

Bess stood in the hallway for what seemed like hours, before the portrait she'd been staring at finally moved and asked her to leave.

She continued to wander aimlessly. When the bell rang, she chose to head back to her dorm room and stare at the ceiling of her four poster bed, rather than stay in the common room or go to dinner.

When Lily and the girls came back to the dorm, they sat or stood around her bed.

"Sirius asked me to see if you were okay." Lily said softly.

"Uh- yeah. We had a long chat." She whispered in reply, a frown playing on her face. She could feel the dry tear marks running down her face - she'd cried until she felt numb. She was still in her uniform, staring up at the ceiling. "I spoke to Selket earlier. He's going to teach our lessons again. Will you spread the word?"

"Of course. That's why... do you want to talk about it?"

"No. Not really." She whispered back.

"What do you need?" Mary asked.

"Time and space. I think."

"We'll be in the common room if you need us." Jo said, before leading the girls out of the room.

"Thank you." Bess said as Jo began to close the door.

"For what?"

"For not asking what happened with Selket."

"That's what friends are for." She replied, before closing the door.

xXx

The next day, Bess managed to put a brave face on, and adhered to her now-usual routine - breakfast with the girls, double charms, double transfiguration, lunch with the incredibly happy new couple, Grace and Scott, and their friends, before double Potions, then dinner with her dorm mates.

This was all made easier by the absence of the boys at dinner. They'd disappeared immediately after Potions, and she knew exactly where they'd been heading. Remus hadn't been in classes for most of the day.

She just hoped tonight was an okay moon for Remus, and reminded herself not to go for a much-needed anxiety-relieving walk until at least dawn.

She tossed and turned that night, barely able to sleep, and watched the dawn break over the mountains out of the window by Lily's bed.

Finally, she thought it would be light enough, and she reached into her trunk, pulling out thick socks, walking boots, leggings, a sports bra, a tank top, and an off the shoulder jumper. It would show some of the scar down her right arm, but she didn't think anything of it - she could just pull it up and across if she bumped into anyone.

She got changed behind her bed curtains and then, as quietly as possible, tip toed out of the room, putting on her boots when she got to the common room.

She practically ran through the portrait hole and down the endless flights of stairs until finally, she pushed open the main doors and gasped the fresh air as if it were the first air she'd breathed in years. Eyes closed, head back, she leant against the door basking in the fresh morning air.

After a minute, she nodded to herself, pinched the bridge of her nose, rubbed her face, groaned loudly, and set off down the steep path that led to the lake.

Chapter Text

Bess was walking aimlessly, but at a fast pace through the grounds.

She was enjoying the freedom and fresh air, but she had the uncomfortable feeling that she was being watched.

She'd had the feeling since she first exited the castle, but every time she turned around to look over her shoulder, there was no one, not even an animal in sight.

Her plan had been to spend her time thinking about the Horcruxes - she was trying to think about the positives and knew that she now had a dedicated slot of time each week where she would be completely alone and able to research spells, try to remember key details such as where the Horcruxes were, and have some alone time for the first time in a while.

However, she hadn't been able to concentrate properly since she'd felt someone's gaze on her.

Stop it, no one's there, she told herself.

About half an hour into her walk she heard a large twig snap, and whirled around, wand drawn.

Searching for where the noise had come from, her eyes scanned the treeline. Though since it had come from the forest, she knew it could have been anything.

Frowning, her eyes still trained on the treeline, she began to walk backwards, just in case.

She could have sworn she heard a loud whine the second before a voice called out behind her, "Whoa there! Don' want ter step any further back than tha' I'd wager!"

Bess turned around and looked down to see a massive man standing below her. Hagrid! she thought, a grin taking over her face. Then she realised that if she'd taken one more step, she would have gone flying down the hill backwards.

"Oh, uh, thank you!" she called down to him, mentally kicking herself for her stupidity.

"What yer doin' out so early then?" he asked.

"I just needed a walk. It clears my head!" she half-shouted back.

"Well, be more careful will yeh?" he called, smiling up at her.

"I will, thank you!" Bess replied, waving and smiling at the gigantic gamekeeper.

She was comforted that he hadn't said to keep an eye out for anything, and was just thinking about where to walk next, when she heard another twig snap behind her.

The smile dropped from her face and she turned around slowly, expecting to see a massive animal or creature right behind her. But what she did see was, for Bess, much worse.

Before she could even comprehend what she was doing, she stepped backwards. She felt her foot drop and screamed as she tumbled straight over the hillside, her arms windmilling as she tried hopelessly to keep her balance.

Her back hit the ground first, knocking the breath out of her lungs. Then her head smacked into the ground. She cried out in pain.

Before she could do anything else, even think properly, her legs flew over her head and she began to tumble, spiral, and roll down the hill at speed. At some point her body stopped taking head over arse, twisting lengthways, which helped to slow her descent somewhat.h

Finally, she came to a stop on the gravel path Hagrid had been standing on, her arms flung out either side of her. She let out a little whimper and two small sobs of pain.

"What did I tell yeh?" Hagrid asked worriedly, practically running towards her.

"I'm sorry," she wheezed. "I saw something in the treeline and just jumped back by instinct." She whimpered again.

"Ah. Well... Yeah, that'd do it," Hagrid said, smiling kindly. "Nasty things in tha' forest, lemme tell yer tha'. Can yer stand?" he asked, looking down at her and holding out a hand.

Bess sat up slowly, groaning, and took Hagrid's hand. She tried to stand by kneeling on the ground before bringing her left knee up and then putting her weight her ankle.

The pain was so great that Bess cried out and fell back down immediately.

"I think I broke my ankle," she moaned.

She knew she needed to fix it if she was going to make it back to the castle quickly, so she reached for her wand. Her eyes widened when she realised it wasn't on the path around her. It must have fallen out when I was falling! No! she thought, trying to crawl back up the hill, staring at every branch she could find.

"Oi! What're yer doin'? Yer could 'ave more injuries!" Hagrid shouted behind her.

"My wand! I've lost it somewhere! I need to find it!" she cried, still frantically searching and ignoring the pain in her ankle and the aches and pains now radiating from her ribs, left arm, right knee and right shoulder.

She felt a pair of giant hands grab her elbows, and was pulled away from the hillside she'd been trying to crawl up. Hagrid deposited her back on to the gravel path, and she immediately lifted her injured left leg off the ground and used his arm to steady herself.

"Look 'ere," he said. "It seems as though yeh took a rather nasty tumble. Let's get yeh to the 'ospital wing and-"

"No!" Bess cried, still scanning the shrubbery. "I have to find my wand! Please! I don't want to go to the hospital wing, I just need my wand!"

To tell the truth, Bess was scared of the hospital wing. She'd spent so long in St Mungo's that as much as she would have loved to have met Madam Pomfrey, she didn't want to spent another minute cooped up on her own around medicinal potions.

"Righ' er... Wha's yer name?" he asked.

"Bess," she replied, finally looking up into the face of the kind half-giant.

"Then, 'ow about this, Bess? My 'ut's only over there," he said, pointing down the path. "'ow about yer come with me an' we'll get yer a nice cuppa tea. I'll send word for Madam Pomfrey an' she can come down 'ere teh treat yeh. Does that sound alrigh'?" he asked slowly, as if she was a wounded animal about to take flight.

"Yes. I- I guess so," she replied. "But my-"

"Everything alright down there?" called a voice from the top of the hillside.

Bess and Hagrid looked up to see James standing at the top. If he hadn't had leaves stuck in his hair and honestly, if Bess hadn't known better, she would have thought he'd had the same idea as her and gone for an early morning stroll.

"Ah James!" Hagrid bellowed. "Brillian' timin' I'd say! Young Bess 'ere's in a bad way. Got a broken ankle an' more. Could yeh run and fetch Madam Pomfrey? We'll be at my 'ut."

James nodded and shot Bess a concerned look.

He turned to leave, but Bess yelled out to him, "James! I can't find my wand! I've lost it somewhere. Could you accio it or something? Please?" she asked, pain, worry, upset and panic evident in her voice.

"Yeh've jus' fallen down a hill an' you're honestly more concerned abou' yer wand than yerself?" Hagrid asked in a shocked tone.

"Of course! Injuries can be healed. I'm defenceless if I don't have my wand!" she said frantically. She felt naked and afraid without its warming comfort in her hand or in her pocket.

James nodded and waved his wand. A second later, a stick flew out from the hillside and landed at his feet.

Bess let out a loud groan of relief, which was swiftly followed by a moan of pain as she fell to her knees, her injuries finally taking first place in her mind.

"Run now, James!" Hagrid called up to the dark haired boy, before scooping Bess up in his arms and beginning to walk.

Before she could even thank him for his help, Bess passed out.

xXx

Bess moaned and opened her eyes. Her body felt numb, like she was under the effects of a strong pain potion. But her injuries were bad enough that she still had a bit of a headache.

"She's awake," came a voice from her side. "Go and fetch Poppy. I'll stay with her."

"Whereami?" she asked quietly, slurring her words.

"What?" asked the voice.

"Where... where am I?" she asked, incredibly slowly, trying to annunciate every word.

"Hospital wing," the voice replied, and Bess finally recognised that it was James.

"What?" Bess cried, sitting up.

She began to sway and pant with the effort of being up, but rather than lying back down, she tried to remove her covers. When she filled them off, she realised that she wasn't in her own clothes anymore, but was now wearing a long sleeved flannel button-down shirt and a matching pair of pyjama trousers.

"What am I wearing?" she asked, eyes wide, staring down at the foreign clothes.

"Sirius' pyjamas," James replied with a small smile. "Well, I say his pyjamas... he tends to sleep in his boxers..." he winked at her and Bess' frown deepened. "What?" he asked. "We couldn't make you wear the hospital gowns and we didn't know what your pyjamas looked like to summon them."

"Why Sirius' though?" she asked.

"Do you really think he would have let you wear Peter's?" James asked with a loud laugh.

"I'm so confused..." Bess said, bringing her hands to her head and groaning. "Where are the girls?"

"They stopped by earlier for a few hours, but they got chucked out. Lily's stomach growled and she shouted at me when I laughed, so..." he said, shrugging. "They'll be back tomorrow."

"Why didn't they bring my pyjamas when they visited?" she asked slowly.

James ran his hand through his hair. "Oh, uh... don't think we thought of that..."

Bess was about to reply when she saw her curtains move back and a kind faced witch in matrons robes stepped in.

"Miss Coulson?" she asked.

"Yes?" Bess replied.

"Ah, so you remember who you are at least! My name's Madam Pomfrey, I'm the matron. Do you remember what happened earlier today?" she asked.

"Uh- yeah..." Bess said slowly, remembering the scene. She ran through everything - the hill, the fall, the- it finally clicked that James was still standing at her bedside. "Why're you still here?" she asked him.

James simply shrugged and slipped his hands into his pockets.

"Miss Coulson? Do you remember what happened?" Madam Pompey asked again.

Bess, who was wondering why she couldn't just have a normal day at this school, said, "Uh- yes. I was just walking, and then I... uh... can I say it without him here?"

"Hey! Why can't I know?" James asked incredulously.

She turned to look at the teen and frowned. "Because you'll laugh at me," she said as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Will not!" he cried, placing a hand to his heart as if offended by her accusation.

"You definitely will! And you'll go and tell everyone else!" she accused.

"Tell everyone else what?" Sirius asked, appearing around the curtain. He looked paler than she'd seen him before and he seemed a bit on edge.

She wondered if they'd had time to sleep after their long night with Remus, but one glance at the large clock above the door told her that they probably had - she'd been out like a light for most of the day apparently, and it was now almost dinnertime.

"What happened to her," James replied to Sirius, before turning back to Bess. "Look, we won't laugh if we can help it. But... don't be embarrassed about what you saw... this morning I thought I saw a rather large looking thing. Almost like a small bear. Very scary... is that what you saw?"

Bess frowned deeply and thought back. "No," she whispered. "No it's not. Are there bears in the forest?" she asked.

As she said it, James' eyes widened and she understood that he'd been trying to ask if she'd seen Sirius' animagus form. But she hadn't seen Padfoot while she was outside, so they must have just been worried she'd seen them all out before dawn in their animagus and wolf forms.

"Wait, where's my wand?" she asked, trying to get out of the bed.

She was pushed back down immediately by the matron's strong arms, and then James handed her her wand. She sighed in relief and clutched it to her chest.

"Miss Coulson, we really do need to know what you saw, and what made you so scared that you jumped over a steep hillside!" Madam Pomprey said tensely. She seemed worried.

Remus. They think I saw Remus, Bess thought.

She pursed her lips and looked down, wringing her hands together. She mumbled a reply.

"I'm sorry dear," Pomprey said, "I didn't catch that."

Bess mumbled again.

"I'm sorry?" the matron asked again.

"A rat, okay?" Bess said, avoiding their gazes. "I saw an untamed rat in the grass and freaked out. It was terrifying! And it was headed straight for me!" She shuddered and rubbed her arms, trying to forget the creature.

"WHAT?" James shouted, as Sirius gaped at her.

"I know, I know!" she cried, lifting her arms into the air. "I just really hate rats, okay? They're... just awful!" She added, shuddering again and sticking her tongue out in disgust.

Sirius and James began to laugh.

"Don't laugh!" she cried. "You said you wouldn't laugh!"

This just made them laugh harder.

Watching them, it was as if all the tension still inside her broke, and Bess began to laugh as well.

xXx

Two hours later, once Bess had been informed that she would be staying overnight so that her injuries could heal properly, she found herself being wheeled over to the bed next to Remus'.

She was told that he'd been in an accident on Friday morning and wasn't feeling well, and she pretended to believe them and convincingly gave him her sympathies.

Satisfied that she wasn't going to ask any questions, Remus pulled out the remainder of the giant bar of chocolate that she'd given him in Potions, and Peter, James and Sirius sat around Remus' bed so the five of them could chat.

Madam Pomfrey said that they needed to keep a respectful distance from Bess' bed, seeing as how she was only wearing pyjamas, so they were closer to Remus' bed. Though Sirius did pitch up a chair almost smack bang in the middle of the two injured teens, (as close to Bess' bed as he could without being moved back by Madam Pomfrey). Finally, when the matron nodded and walked off, James sat down next to Sirius, and Peter sat on the other side of Remus.

She hadn't spoken to Sirius about what happened on Thursday, but instead they'd fallen back into their groove for now. She was somewhat relieved - part of her just wanted to go back to how they were before their chat... (she selfishly really wanted a cuddle after her ordeal.)

However, she couldn't say any of that in front of his friends and so soon enough talk moved on to Bess' accident.

"I still can't believe it was a rat that spooked you..." James laughed.

"I can't believe you saw a giant bear thing! Honestly, what's in that forest?" Bess asked with a fake incredulous tone.

"Uh- yeah. I actually thought you would have seen it too..." Sirius said, coughing slightly.

"No, I don't think I did..." she said with a frown. "How do you know about it?"

"James told me." Sirius coughed again and looked down at his lap. He was obviously lying.

It all slotted into place, and confirmed for Bess that it had been Padfoot in the forest. He'd been watching her since she exited the castle, so he'd thought he'd shown himself to her and as a result she'd screamed and fallen off the hillside. That was probably why he was so pale and worried when I woke up, she thought.

Before she could say anything else, Peter, who seemed affronted that she was so scared of a rat she'd jump off a hillside to escape it, asked her why she was scared of rats.

"What could be worse?" she asked, breaking off a bit of chocolate before passing the bar to Sirius.

"Being tortured to death?" Remus offered.

Bess gave him a look which said, "That's already almost happened to me, hasn't it?" and rolled her eyes. It took a moment for it to sink in before he looked away, blushing.

"Banshees!" James shouted, earning a loud shush from Madam Pomfrey, who was somewhere in the ward beyond the curtains which had been pulled around both of their beds. "Sorry Pops!" he yelled out.

"Hmm... I don't know much about them..." Bess said honestly.

"They scream, you die," Sirius said, putting it simply.

Bess smiled at him and said, "Thanks. Uh, no then. Mainly because if I heard a banshee scream then I'd be dead, wouldn't I? No time to be scared is there? So I definitely find rats scarier."

"What about giant black dogs?" James asked, grinning and winking at Sirius.

"One, or plural?" she asked, narrowing her eyes playfully.

James took the challenge, sitting forwards, putting his elbows on his knees. "One. And it's advancing on you, baring it's teeth."

"Hmm..." Bess said, pursing her lips, looking at the ceiling as if deep in thought. "Do I have a wand?"

"Would you be scared if you did have your wand?" Remus asked.

"Hmm, not really, because I could just stupefy it," she replied.

"Okay, then you don't have your wand in this scenario," James said, grinning.

"Oh... still definitely rats," she said, nodding and popping her chocolate in her mouth.

"How? It's a giant dog!" Peter squeaked. "And it's got massive teeth! It could bite through your leg! Or slash you with its claws!"

Bess almost missed the glare Sirius sent Peter's way since she had thrown her head back and laughed. She looked at the smaller boy and replied, "Yeah, but sounds more like that dog was being playful. If I don't have a wand on me then I can honestly just think of two things - one, I must trust it, right? Otherwise why would I be around it defenceless? And two, if I trust it, then surely I don't pose a threat to it, so it must be playing around, right?" she asked, very aware of who they were really talking about.

"Brilliant answer," James said, grinning and clapping Sirius on the shoulder.

"That's my girl!" Sirius said enthusiastically, beaming proudly, elbowing James and leaning over to punch Peter lightly on the arm before putting his feet up on Remus' bed.

Bess rolled her eyes. "And three-" she continued.

"Love!" Sirius groaned loudly, throwing his head back.

"What?" she asked, snapping her head round to look at him, trying to ignore the shiver that went down her spine at using a petname in public.

"Just learn to count, please!" Sirius groaned.

"It's not my fault if I remember points as I go along!" she replied.

"Then don't say how many points you're going to make until you've already made them!" he said, putting a hand over his face.

"Sorry, does it annoy you?" she asked, cocking her head to the side.

"Yes," he replied, moving his hand to his hair and running his fingers through it.

"Good," she replied, raising an eyebrow at him teasingly. "Two things, third point..."

He looked mildly impressed. "We'll talk about this later," he promised, raising his own eyebrow, a small smile playing on his face.

Bess blushed.

She could feel her pain and upset dissipating as they played verbal tennis. She wasn't ready to forgive him by any stretch of the imagination, but she was enjoying his company immensely.

"Where was I?" she asked, looking up at the ceiling and narrowing her eyes in thought.

"Love!" Sirius groaned loudly again.

"Shhhh, you're making me lose my train of thought!" she said, trying not to giggle. "What were we talking about?"

"I love this so much," James whispered to Remus, who was trying not to laugh.

"Oh yeah!" she said. "And three, if it really is a giant dog, and it genuinely wanted to eat me, then I'll probably be terrified in the moment, yeah, but still, I'm always scared of rats."

"Right. A stag," Peter asked, sitting up in his chair more. He seemed like he was trying to emulate James' casual stance but failing massively.

Bess raised an eyebrow. "A stag? As in a deer? Please!"

"They've got antlers!" James cried, suddenly defensive.

"Yeah, but when you're out walking and you come across a deer-"

"Stag," James cut across.

"Sorry, James, a stag. When you come across a stag, I don't think many people's first thoughts are 'oh shit, that's scary...' And if a rabid stag did attack me, then it'd be a quick death," Bess said, before miming an antler spearing her stomach and then performing an elaborate and ridiculous fake death scene which had Remus laughing, James and Sirius clutching their stomachs, and Peter looking rather annoyed.

"What about werewolves then?" Peter asked rather loudly, cutting over the laughter.

The silence was deafening. Remus' eyes widened and his skin paled. Sirius and James looked angry and worried. Peter also paled. He'd seemed to have understood his mistake the instant he said the words, but couldn't take it back now.

Bess didn't ask more this time, she just looked at their reactions and coughed lightly. "I don't really..." she said, shaking her head as she fiddled with a loose thread on her (Sirius') pyjama shirt.

"I think you have to now," James said quietly, glaring over at Peter. "I think we'd all like to hear your opinion..." He trailed off, cleared his throat, and slumped down in his chair.

Sirius, who was also now slumped in his chair, looked a little apprehensive, but said, "It's okay, love. Go on."

"Fine. Look, I- I know people in the wizarding world have issues with-" she stopped and sighed. She didn't know how to put it when Remus was right there. "Okay... people who suffer from lycanthropy are no different to you and I unless they're faced with a full moon. And if I come across a werewolf at a full moon, then yes, I would be scared. Rats, however, are always rats."

Sirius, who had taken a swig of his drink while she spoke, spluttered rather unattractively. James laughed and clapped his hand on to Sirius' shoulder again, leaning in to whisper something which made Sirius grin. Remus sent her a small smile, and Peter looked rather put out.

"You're genuinely more scared of rats than werewolves?" Peter asked quietly. "Why?"

"Why?" Bess asked. "Ugh- honestly, I don't really know how to explain it, but I guess I could say that there are people out there living with lycanthropy who try to live normal lives, and I have no right or want to be scared of them."

"You've thought about this a lot?" Remus asked, frowning and playing with the wrapper of the bar of chocolate which Peter had passed to him.

"Maybe..." Bess said slowly. "My Healer at the hospital was called Fenrose."

Remus' eyes widened and it confirmed Bess' suspicions - he, at one point or another, had been treated by the older wizard.

"He's a kind man," she continued, "and he said that what he'd seen me recover from wasn't the worst thing he'd seen. Then I heard rumours in the Prophets about children around the country being bitten and I realised exactly what he meant. I can be scared and angry at the people biting kids on purpose, but how could I ever hate or be afraid of those kids or the adults they become? It's not their choice. I don't know though... I guess it's just all down to your interpretation. But yes, for me, all day, every day, I'm more scared of rats than werewolves. Anything else?" she asked, reaching out a hand for the chocolate, which was now with Sirius.

She thought she'd said too much, gone too far, rambled too much, but Sirius stood up, cupped her face and kissed her gently on the cheek. He rubbed his nose against hers, reminding her of when dogs touched snouts, and grinned down at her before dropping his hands and retreating to his chair, saying, "Well said, love," with a half smile.

Bess tried not to blush.

James echoed the sentiment with a, "Hear, hear," lifting his water glass in salute.

It felt like a pressure had been lifted from the conversation.

She whined and pointed again at the chocolate bar on Sirius' lap and he chuckled and handed it to her.

"A chocolate shortage or rats?" whispered Remus with a shakily laugh.

"Ah... I'd use a replenishing spell on the chocolate I did have, and if there was no chocolate left in the world... I'd still have sticky toffee pudding and cream..." she said, snapping off a piece of the bar.

"What about Sirius asking another girl out in front of you?" James joked, grinning from ear to ear.

Bess threw her head back and laughed. "If he does that," she said, "then I've dodged a bullet."

"Noted," Sirius said, raising a finger in the air and sending her a cheeky smile and a wink.

"What about dying?" Peter asked.

"Rats," Bess replied immediately.

"Really? But really?" Peter asked, sitting forwards. He was clearly put out that Bess hated his animagus form this much.

"Yeah! Have you read 1984? No? Well read that, and then tell me rats are okay. Noooooo thank you!" she said, slumping back onto her stack of pillows and biting off some chocolate.

She was finding it easier than she thought she would to talk to Peter, having spent a few weeks sitting near him for classes and in the common room. She'd felt weird during their first few interactions, but now she just treated him as an acquaintance, whereas the others she counted as friends. She was, however, able to hide all of this, and if anyone had seen her chat to Peter, they would have thought they got along as well as two people could.

"You-Know-Who," he said quickly.

"Rats," Bess replied instantly.

"What? No! You can't be serious!" he cried. "You're more scared of rats than You-Know-Who?"

Bess tried not to laugh, or roll her eyes as she said, "Well honestly, Peter, I don't think I'm on his radar. So it's not like Voldemort's just going to swan in here and scamper around before having a bit of a nibble, is it? I think that fear would be the least of my worries if he turned up... But, hypothetically, if he did, then yes, I'd be more scared of him. Unless he walked in with an army of rats, when I would be more scared of the rats at first."

She saw Peter and Remus wince at her use of Voldemort's name, but was pleasantly surprised when James and Sirius barely reacted.

"A bit of a nibble!" James cried, falling to the floor laughing.

"I just- there are rats all over the school!" Peter said loudly, trying to speak over the roaring laughter coming from his three friends.

"Yes!" Bess argued, "ones which are pets, or which have been conjured via magic. Feral rats are another thing! I just-" She shuddered and stuck her tongue out, miming being sick. "I don't understand why you're so annoyed!"

"Ol' Pete's just a little upset, he loves the little things," James said, still laughing.

Bess registered Peter pulling out his wand as she began to speak again.

"Well sorry Peter, but-" The laugh died in Bess' throat and her expression turned from happy to terrified. Her breathing elevated and her chest felt tight. She looked down and gasped at the sight of something scuttling at the end of her bed.

Even if she'd wanted to stay in the bed and laugh, she couldn't stop her reaction - she immediately screamed. Despite her injuries, she scrambled out of her covers, jumping straight on to Remus' bed and almost crushing Sirius in the process. She flew over Remus' legs and jumped to the next bed along before turning and pointing at the rat which was still sitting on her bed, and saying, "No, no, no, no, no."

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Madam Pomfrey roared, bursting through the curtains.

"I don't want to be here! I want to go! Please!" Bess cried, staring at the older witch with horror in her eyes. "I can't sleep here!"

"What on earth?" Madam Pomprey whispered, taking in the sight.

"Sorry Pops, bad joke on Peter's part," Sirius said, finally reaching Bess - he'd jumped up when she'd freaked out, but hadn't managed to get to her before the matron had.

He sat on the bed and pulled Bess into his arms, rocking her slightly. "Merlin, love, you're shaking," he whispered into her hair.

Bess hugged him tightly and buried her face in his chest.

Bess barely heard a word he said. She was genuinely panicking. In her world, rats really were one of her biggest fears, and as much as she'd managed to put that to the back of her mind, their chat and the appearance of a random rat on her bed had freaked her and she was currently in the middle of a panic attack.

"We got this, Pops, really," she heard James say.

The matron didn't seem to want to leave, but nodded nonetheless. Bess would later wonder how they'd gotten away with that one.

She heard a smack and a groan, and then Peter squeaked out, "I'm really sorry Bess."

It took ten minutes for her to calm down properly, and another thirty minutes of making the boys check every single nook and cranny of the ward before she would even entertain the idea of staying the night.

It was only Remus' reasoning that he was also staying, and her being allowed to move to the bed she'd jumped to, that made her feel okay enough about it. The boys were made to leave a few minutes after that.

As he left, Sirius kissed her on the cheek, before staring deeply into her eyes. Under normal circumstances, if someone she knew had done that, she would have found it odd, but it was Sirius, so it was incredibly comforting and she didn't mind at all.

She realised then that something had shifted between them when he'd almost kissed her a few days ago, and it felt like she was the only thing standing in the way of them getting together now. She just wasn't sure when she'd be ready for that.

After what felt like an age, he leant forwards and rubbed his nose against hers slowly, before leaning back slightly and saying loudly, "I'll be back in the morning to make sure you haven't been bitten," earning a squeak from Bess and a glare from Remus.

Sirius simply laughed and, after kissing her cheek again, followed James out of the ward.

Even then, she knew she wouldn't be getting much sleep that night.

xXx

According to the clock above the door, it was now almost 3.30am.

A curtain was drawn between Remus and her beds, offering them both privacy overnight. She'd heard occasional snoring from Remus' bed, but Bess hadn't slept yet, unable to stop thinking of scuttling.

Bess looked towards the door and watched as it creaked open on its own. She frowned deeply and sat up, swinging her legs round and getting out of bed. Slowly, she tiptoed to the door and looked outside into the deserted hallway.

"You're still awake?" Remus asked, his stage whisper carrying across the otherwise empty Hospital Wing.

She looked around once outside more before closing the door quietly and tiptoeing back over to her bed, crawling under the covers. The curtains between the two beds had been moved to the side note, revealing Remus who was sitting upright now, propped against his pillows.

"Sorry, did I disturb you?" she asked.

"No," he replied. "Have you slept yet?"

Bess rubbed her face and shook her head, bringing her knees up and putting her magazine back in her lap. "I really, really hate rats. And now I've actually seen one in here, I just have to wait until my mind decides it's calm enough for sleep," she whispered back. "You're still awake too..."

"It's different. I slept most of yesterday and woke up about ten minutes ago..." he said, frowning at her. "Peter really didn't mean any harm by it..."

"I know, don't worry. I feel bad that I don't like them," she said honestly. "He seems... protective. I just... I just can't do it. They freak me out."

"What normally helps calm you down?" he asked kindly.

Bess smiled sadly. "I don't know. It used to be a long walk, but there's a curfew here... I've only ever been this panicky while at school once, and that was after everyone found out about..." She trailed off, putting her magazine aside and stretching out, looking at the ceiling.

"What helped then?" he asked.

Bess heard what sounded like footsteps near Remus' bed and sat up again, looking around. They were still alone in the room, so she frowned and lay back down again.

"Honestly?" she said, "it's sad really... As in embarrassing sad, not boo hoo sad, but uh- Sirius sent me a note. Once I'd written my reply it flew away and waiting for it to come back helped me focus on something else and I fell asleep with his reply in my hand."

"Oh," Remus replied.

"Yeah... please don't tell him?" she asked quietly.

"Uh- I- uh-"

"Please, Remus, it's actually embarrassing," she pleaded, looking over at him.

Remus coughed and nodded, looking towards the curtains which were shoved to the side of his bed and began to fiddle with the top of his blankets.

"I'll uh- try," he replied finally.

"Thanks."

"So if he sent you a note, would that help?" he asked.

She smiled and chuckled. "I saw a rat and freaked out majorly. I think I've drawn a line under any interest he has in me!"

"I don't know about that..." he replied.

She gave Remus a look that said, "Liar."

"I mean it!" he replied again, looking towards his curtains. "It's quite refreshing that you're able to be around rats every day but they still terrify you. It's brave. And the stuff you said about werewolves and You-Know-Who... I think he found it endearing. And... well, you actually seem to like spending time with all four of us, not just Sirius."

"Or maybe I like spending time with you three and he's just a pain in the arse..." she said with a laugh before lying back to look at the ceiling again.

She was really enjoying getting to know all of them, and was quite chuffed Remus was actually talking to her outside of the group for the first time since The Three Broomsticks back in May.

Remus smiled and laid back in his bed as well.

Bess looked up sharply when she heard what sounded like whispers, but Remus didn't look like he could hear anything, so she just looked back at the ceiling.

"Do you- uh- since you're awake..." he said. "Do you... like him?"

Bess smiled awkwardly and looked over at Remus. "Come again?"

"Ugh. Don't make me-" he hissed, before raising his voice to say, "do you like Sirius?"

Bess smiled. "Most of the time. But he can be a real turd. Why?"

She heard what sounded like a laugh which was cut off suddenly, but didn't see Remus even move. She frowned.

"No, I mean... do you... Like him? As in... ugh. Do you think you'd say yes if he asked you out?" he asked.

Bess' eyes widened and she let out a surprised laugh. "Do you really want to have this conversation? I haven't even talked to Lily about it!"

"See! It's private," he hissed so quietly that she barely heard what he said. He was silent for a moment before he winced and said in a louder voice, "Unfortunately, yes."

Bess frowned and asked, "Are you alright?"

He just nodded and pointed to a bandage on his arm. "Hurts a bit."

She nodded and said completely honestly, "Uh- would I go out with him? After kiss-gate? No. Pre kiss-gate, yeah."

Bess heard another hissing noise and then Remus winced again and asked, "Do you know if you'll want to go out with him again at some point?"

Bess, now thoroughly bemused, raised an eyebrow at Remus.

"Please just answer," he said. "It'll be easier for me if you do."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

"Uh... just my curiosity. Though you know what they say... curiosity killed the cat," he replied, hissing the last words through his clenched teeth and looking towards the curtain.

Bess frowned at him, before she finally put two and two together and realised that he must have had an terrible rib injury which was making him turn in pain. The full moon must have been rough, she thought. When he turned back to her with a grimace, she replied.

"True," she said. "But the full thing is 'curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back'. Everyone forgets the second line and I think it's important to know."

She thought she heard someone whisper, "Exactly," but the sound was cut off, and Remus didn't seem to have moved. She was more than a little worried that she was now hearing voices, so didn't say anything to him.

Instead, she said, "Ugh... if you must know, yeah, maybe... one day. But he broke my trust. If he'd just kissed someone else, that would be different, you know? We weren't dating. But he did it to hurt me."

"He's really sorry about it..." Remus whispered sadly.

"Yeah. He's still got to work hard to build the trust again. If he gives up..." she shrugged.

She heard the hissing noise again before Remus said, "He won't. He can be very dedicated when he wants to be."

You have no idea, Bess thought, thinking about his stint in Azkaban, and then what he did to get out and save Harry.

She heard another hiss, and this time decided to just not bother looking. She knew she was just hearing things now. She closed her eyes and sighed deeply.

"No," Remus hissed quietly but adamantly. "I've asked enough. No fucking way. Fu-" before he winced again and groaned, before turning to her and asking, "Is it okay with you that he kisses you on the cheek?"

Bess opened her eyes and looked out the corner of her eye at Remus. She raised and eyebrow. "I am not talking to you about that."

He paused for a second, before asking, "Please?"

"No, Remus. No. Next question," she answered, eyes wide as she shook her head at him.

She really didn't mind that Sirius did, in fact, she felt more at home in this world when he did, than she had felt in the past months. She hadn't realised how much she'd missed physical contact, and each time he'd kissed her like that today, she'd felt seen. Of course, there was no way she'd ever tell Remus that!

"Okay..." he said finally. "Just... you should know that he likes you a lot. You've spent five weeks-"

"Three..." she cut over him. "Sorry... just... we've only really spent three weeks actually chatting etcetera. Two of the weeks we weren't talking."

"True... but... uh... Sirius is an all or nothing kind of guy-"

She snorted and said, "Tell that to Beatrice Jones!" Remus winced again and she frowned. "Are you sure you're okay?" she asked softly.

"Yes, yeah," he said, glaring at his curtains again. She heard the hissing again and then he spoke again, "uh- I didn't know you knew about Beatrice..."

"The girls told me after Peter made me move that breakfast time," she explained. "Pretty harsh to break up with her like that. All she did was sit at your table..."

Remus was silent for a moment, and then he ducked his head and said quietly, "That was... a hard one... she... look, I can't explain it properly, but it wasn't just about the table thing. It was more than that... yeah..." he trailed off, before wincing again and saying, "anyway, back to you. Long story short, when you're ready, just let him know. I'm one hundred per cent sure he'll wait. If you want him to...?"

Bess didn't answer at first and just frowned up at the ceiling.

"Bess?" he asked again. "Do you... do you want him to wait, or...?"

She took a deep breath. Did she? She needed to spend time working on bringing down Voldemort, and this was just a distraction. A lovely one, but a distraction nonetheless. And what if she took his time away from his friends and then she went back to her world before changing things?

"I'll take that as a no then," Remus said quietly.

"No. No, I- yes, I- I do want him to wait. But... is that fair? Taking his time away from you guys and then saying I don't know when the trust will be rebuilt enough to..." She trailed off. She felt weird talking to Remus about all of this, but also very comfortable. "It would be selfish of me."

"Oh! Uh- uh- one second," Remus said quickly. Bess looked over and saw him leaning over his bed, as if listening to something next to him. He laid back after a moment and said, "Sorry, felt a bit sick... I'm sure he'd be fine with that." He sent her a small smile. "Not many people think about those kinds of things."

"Taking up your time?" she asked.

"Yeah..."

Bess shrugged. "You four are incredibly close. When Lily... sorry, if Lily and James get together then it might change a little bit, but I just don't want to take away from your time together. There's a war going on."

They fell into silence for a few minutes.

"You think about the war a lot, don't you?" he asked, breaking the silence.

"Hard not to," she replied, grimacing.

Remus let out a huff of a laugh. "I think you and Sirius are similar..."

"What? I'm a hot headed teenage boy?" she teased.

Remus let out a loud guffaw and Bess didn't know why, but she began to laugh as well, before snorting loudly. Eyes wide, she covered her mouth with her hand and tried to stop herself.

"Did you just snort?" he asked, surprised.

She couldn't stop laughing then, and snorted again. Remus joined in after a second, mocking her. They laughed together for a minute before falling silent again.

"Why're you telling me all this about Sirius?" she whispered.

"I don't know really... I guess I know he'd want you to know..." he said, before grimacing. After a long pause, he relaxed and as if by magic, a large piece of chocolate appeared out of nowhere and landed on his chest. "Thanks," he muttered under his breath.

"He hasn't seen my scars yet though..." Bess whispered. "I'm sure he'd change his mind if he did."

"Uh-" Remus replied, shifting slightly in his bed.

"Remus..." Bess asked, sitting up fully and swinging her legs round so she sat on the edge of her bed, staring at him. "He hasn't seen my scars, has he?"

"Well... we might have all seen one of them..." he said, fiddling with the blanket again.

"Which one?" she asked, eyes wide.

"The one down your arm?"

"Which arm?" she hissed, worry flooding her mind.

"Your right one. Do you have one on your left too?" he asked, sitting up and narrowing his eyes and furrowing his brow.

Bess gasped out a sigh of relief and rolled back, falling against her pillows. After a second, she said, "Yes I do... Lily's seen it, I showed... I showed it to her after Jasper... but I'm not ready for anyone else to yet..."

She made sure to mention Lily, just in case he thought it was a dark mark or anything silly like that.

"It must be bad then," Remus said quietly. She turned to look at him and he continued, "you- you know, if you're okay with us seeing the other one. It looked like someone..."

"I'm uh- going to try to sleep now," she said, slipping back under her covers and bringing them up to her neck, wriggling in to the warmth.

"Don't want to talk to me anymore?" Remus asked quietly.

"No, I just don't want to talk about Sirius and my feelings anymore!" she laughed, trying to gloss over her worry about her scars. "Though it's really nice talking to you, Remus. Definitely calmed me down. You're a really great friend."

"Thanks. I try."

"No, that's the thing. I have a strong feeling it comes completely naturally to you. You have a lovely heart," she said, smiling at him, before turning her head and closing her eyes.

Her view of him was definitely skewed by what she knew of Remus from the books, but she still meant every word.

As she thought about what Remus had said about Sirius, she felt like someone was watching her, but when opened her eyes sleepily and looked around for a moment, there was still no one in the ward apart from the boy lying in the hospital bed next to hers.

Finally, she drifted off with a small smile on her face.

She could have sworn she felt someone kiss her forehead as she succumbed to a deep sleep, but knew she must have been dreaming already.

Chapter Text

The next morning, Bess was released in to the care of one Lily Evans, who took her straight back to the girls' dormitory to have a chat about what had happened on Saturday morning.

The girls had roared with laughter when she'd explained, though Lily and Jo were the only two who had sympathy for her. Lily didn't really like birds, and Jo detested toads, but both had to endure them as they were part and parcel of living in the wizarding world.

After her confession about her morning stroll, Sunday passed quickly, and before she knew it, Bess was standing outside the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom with her dormmates, waiting for Selket to let them in to the classroom.

Bess had been trying to work out how to broach the subject of her not being able to take the classes, but she couldn't find it in her heart to put a downer on it - everyone was excited that they were finally being taught for all of their Defence classes this week.

It had been all anyone could talk about, and she'd been approached by most of her class mates over the course of Sunday, and Monday morning, to say thank you for managing to convince Selket to teach them.

"I just need the loo." Bess said quickly, as she spotted the large bellied teacher walking down the hallway, a head taller than the students running to their fourth year Transfiguration lesson.

"But Selket's right there! You'll miss the first five minutes-" Jo said in a hissed whisper.

"You might get points taken away..." reasoned Skye.

"I might pee myself though, so I'll chance the negative five points. Wouldn't you?" Bess asked, before ducking out of the queue of students and practically running to the toilet, just a few doors down.

She waited for five minutes, until she was sure the other students would have gone in, before she stuck her head out of the bathroom and checked.

There was no one in sight.

With a sigh, Bess pulled her bag back on to her shoulder, and exited the bathroom, walking in the opposite direction from the classroom.

An hour later, Lily, Remus, James and Sirius found her in the library.

"There you are!" Lily said in a hushed whisper as she sat down at Bess' table.

Bess, who hadn't realised the time, cringed and began organising her table, which currently looked like there'd been an explosion of Defence Against the Dark Arts books, random notes on parchment, ink bottles and quills.

"Sorry," she said as she pulled a quill from underneath Lily. "I like an organised chaos. Why're you lot together? And where're Skye and Peter?" she asked, narrowing her eyes at the group.

She knew the other girls in their group had a class during this time, but she couldn't say she'd paid much attention to Peter's timetable to know if he did as well.

"Believe it or not, Lily actually enjoys my presence," James said, wrapping an arm around Lily's shoulders.

"Or not." Lily replied, as she pushed his arm off and turned back to Bess. "Skye's gone for a nap. Unfortunately, this lot are unusually good at finding people, so when you went missing and we had a free period, I had to ask for their help. Where'd you go?"

Bess' mouth went dry. She actually didn't know how to respond.

She sighed and opened and shut her mouth a few times before she gave up and turned back to her book - she was compiling a list of curses and counter-curses which she thought would be useful in a duel.

"How was it?" she asked quietly, trying not to look up.

"He's probably the best Defence Professor we've ever had, bar Serpen! He's awesome!" James said, as loudly as he could without incurring the wrath of the librarian.

"Bloody brilliant!" Sirius added, sitting in a chair and grabbing one of her books. "Why're you looking at the hair loss curse, love? Revenge?" He asked with a half smile.

"Love?" Lily whispered, confused. Bess watched as her eyes widened and she looked between the Sirius and Bess. Looking back at her curly haired friend, Lily mouthed "we'll be talking about that later..."

Bess rolled her eyes. "No, Sirius, I'm just looking up things for defence... the textbook gets boring when you've read it three times... Thank god the library here's bigger than at St. Mungos." She said absentmindedly, squinting at a passage in the book in front of her, and running her finger under a line of text as she copied it on to her parchment.

"Selket won't teach you, will he?" Remus asked quietly.

Bess pursed her lips and continued to write. After a pause, she shook her head and turned the page.

"WHAT?" Sirius asked loudly, practically shouting.

Bess immediately shushed him and grabbed him by the arm, pulling him back down into his chair - he'd stood up as he spoke.

"You'll get me kicked out!" She hissed as she looked around for the librarian.

"Why won't he teach you?" He hissed back.

Bess stared at him for a second, before cocking her head and saying, "look, it's either the class doesn't get taught, or I don't. And I'd prefer it if you lot could actually defend yourselves after Hogwarts."

Sirius was angry, she could tell by the way he was glaring, but also his jaw was clenched, and his nostrils wide. He looked like he might snarl at any second.

It took a few seconds, but finally, Sirius calmed down a little and hissed out, "it's not right. Of all of us, you're the one who needs these lessons the most."

"What? Don't fancy being my knight in shining armour?" She asked, raising and eyebrow and sending him a small smile.

They hadn't broken eye contact since he'd shouted, and were now leaning across the table towards each other.

"Any day, any time." He promised, his gaze dark and intense.

"Then I don't see what the problem is, do you? Anyway, I taught myself the OWL curriculum, I can teach myself the NEWTs. And I have something I didn't have back in January."

"What's that?"

"A hot tutor," she whispered.

Sirius leaned in more and whispered back, "if you say James..."

Bess, who had been fully intending on doing just that, shook her head playfully, and said "Lily."

She sat back in her chair and grinned as Sirius rolled his eyes and grabbed the book he'd swiped earlier, before putting his feet up on the corner of the table and leaning back in his chair so it rocked on to two legs.

"Definitely talking later," she heard Lily whisper to her.

"I'm bored." Sirius groaned after a moment.

"You've only been here for five minutes!" Lily whispered in an annoyed tone, as she pulled one of Bess' books towards her.

"Exactly!" Sirius replied, before looking at Bess. "Love, you've just spent an entire lesson in the library. Come for a walk with me?" He asked, chucking her book up in the air and catching it before balancing it on the top of his head.

Bess sighed and stopped writing, leant her elbow on the table, and said, "no. I'm busy, and so should you be. If you're bored, go take James and do something stupid." She knew he knew all of the defence magic she was researching already, and that just the thought of having to spend an hour pretending to read about spells he could do with his eyes closed would be torture for him.

The two boys grinned at each other, before James said "hoops. Definitely hoops."

Sirius nodded, and jumped up.

"You're going to regret that one..." Remus sighed, as he took out his homework.

"Not coming Moony?" James asked as Sirius walked round the table and poked Bess on the arm.

"No, I'd rather not get another detention this week..." Remus replied in a monotone voice as he pulled out a quill.

Bess, who was still being poked on the shoulder, rolled her eyes and looked up, making a frustrated noise. "We're in the library," she said before looking back down, trying to find her place again.

Sirius shrugged and began poking her shoulder again. Bess, whose only real reservation was that she was conscious that they were surrounded by people here, unlike in the Hospital Wing, finally sighed and tilted her face up again.

Sirius put a finger under her chin, tilted her head back further still, and leant down to plant a kiss on her cheek before rubbing his nose against hers. As he stood, he nodded at a flabbergasted Lily, put his hands in his pockets, and loped over to his friend.

Bess wished she wasn't so susceptible to him but no matter how much she reminded herself that he needed time to mature and grow up, no matter how much she reminded herself that she wanted to wait until he'd regained her trust... She didn't mind when he did things like that.

"Evans?" James asked, running a hand through his hair to mess it up before leaning down to the redhead.

The glare she shot him could have cut glass.

He gulped and stood, turning to his friend and asking "how do you get away with that but I don't?"

"Dunno mate," Sirius replied as they walked off, "it's like you said - hoops."

"But-" James' reply was cut off as they walked out of listening distance.

Bess frowned. What does hoops mean? She wondered. She'd thought they were off to play Quidditch but now she thought it might have been code for something.

Lily turned back to Bess and just as she was about to open her mouth, Remus said, "please don't. I think Bess has had enough relationship chat this weekend to last a lifetime."

"Relationship?" Lily hissed, her eyes wide.

Bess rolled her eyes and shook her head. "Sirius and I are just friends."

She just about registered Remus saying "for now," under his breath before Lily spoke over him.

"He just kissed you on the cheek!"

"He's probably part French." Bess reasoned.

"And rubbed your nose with his!"

"I don't know! He's probably also part dog." She said absentmindedly as she began studying again.

She heard Remus choke and tried not to react. She heard Hagrid's voice in her head saying "shouldn'ta said tha'".

"We will talk about this later."

xXx

Luckily for Bess, but unluckily for Solstice, 'later' didn't come. Solstice's boyfriend Derek, who was: jealous of her past boyfriends; fought with her before every quidditch game; and just sounded like he wasn't a nice guy; broke up with the blonde Gryffindor just before lunchtime that Monday, ending a year long relationship.

The rest of Bess and Lily's week was spent with their other dormmates consoling the poor girl.

Before Bess knew it, it was the following Wednesday, just three days before she turned 17 in this world.

She hadn't brought it up with anyone, and as far as she knew, only Scott, Jasper and Delbert knew about it.

Scott was too busy to remember, she reasoned, and why would he? While Jasper and Delbert had already sent their apologies for not seeing her on or around the day - they were working overtime. This also meant that Jasper wouldn't be teaching their Thursday class that week.

Bess hadn't minded really, as she, one, didn't know how to bring it up with everyone - the first Hogsmeade trip of the year was planned for the 23rd, and she didn't know how to announce off-hand that it was also her birthday.

And two, she was distracted - in between her classes and her friend duties, Bess had begun to compile a mental list of places of where she thought the Horcruxes might be in this time, and had managed to dig deep and remember the three main ways of destroying them.

It wasn't that she was forgetting things, it seemed rather the opposite, like she had some information to hand, and needed to dig deep to unlock her memories of the books and remember more - much like when she'd been told what Mudblood meant, and suddenly remembered all of the instances it had been used in the books.

And so, three days before her birthday, Bess found herself deep in thought as she headed down to breakfast. She was trying to remember how to get to the Room of Requirement, when she turned a corner and ran smack bang in to a younger student dressed in Slytherin robes who, by the looks of him, was around fourteen or fifteen years old.

The boy glared at her and shoved her back harshly. She fell to the floor with a thud.

"How dare you touch me?" He asked.

Bess could tell it was rhetorical, so she stayed quiet and stared up at him with wide eyes. He drew his wand as he stood over her.

"I'll have to send home for new robes now. Mother won't be happy that they've been touched by filth."

"How dare you? You don't even know who I am!" Bess cried, as she reached into her pocket and held her wand. She tried to think through all of the duelling spells she knew.

He just smiled nastily, narrowed his eyes, and said, "I don't need to know you, but still, I know exactly who you are. Merlin, you're not even worth it. I shouldn't even be talking to you."

"Who are you?" She asked quietly as she propped herself up on her left hand, her right still holding her wand inside her pocket.

She'd never come so close to a horrid student before, and she felt sick at his words, her heart threatening to beat out of her chest.

He simply raised an eyebrow, "you don't know?"

She shook her head and he replied with a sneer, "ask your blood traitor. I'm sure he'll be happy to fill you in on my family and their... reputation."

With that, he screwed his face up in disgust and muttered "scourgify" on his robes as he walked around the corner.

Bess let out a breath she didn't know she was holding. She was relieved he hadn't done anything to her this time, but she knew next time she wouldn't be so lucky.

She stayed on the ground, staring at the wall in front of her, until she heard the morning class bell ring out.

Scrambling to her feet, she rushed in to the nearest girls' toilets, burst in to a cubicle, and locked it.

She hung her bag on the back of the door, before putting down the toilet seat.

She sat on the seat, pulled her knees up, and wrapped her arms around her shins, burying her face in her knees as she tried to calm down.

xXx

Bess had had a single History of Magic class before her free period, so she stayed in the cubicle until she heard the bell signally break time.

After splashing water on her face and taking a steeling breath, she dusted off her uniform, swung her bag over her shoulder, and headed off to her Charms class.

She stood outside the room, deep in thought, and barely registered the girls walking down the corridor towards her.

"Bess?" Lily asked, putting a hand on her arm. "Where were you? We thought you were coming back to the common room after History of Magic?"

"Oh, yeah, sorry. I uh- got carried away, ended up in the library!" She lied.

Jo frowned. "Remus said he hadn't seen you all morning when he came up to change his books over before class... and he'd had a double free spent in the library."

Bess took a quick breath in, shook her head slightly, and shrugged as she said, "I dunno, maybe he didn't see me or something?"

They nodded, but she could tell they weren't entirely convinced. Luckily, she was saved by Professor Flitwick opening his door and ushering them in to the classroom.

Bess took her seat towards the back of the class and took out her things.

As the class began, she zoned out, placing her chin in her hand, doodling on the parchment in front of her.

About ten minutes into class, she heard her name. "Miss Coulson?" Squeaked Professor Flitwick. "Did you hear what I said?"

Bess looked up sharply, dropped her hand to the table and sat up straight. She frowned and opened and closed her mouth a few times, but ultimately had to admit defeat.

"No, sir, sorry." She said, shrugging and biting her lip, a worried expression on her face.

"You weren't listening?"

"No sir..."

"Would someone please give Miss Coulson a summary?" He asked the class.

"You have to cast a non-verbal aguamenti into the glass on his desk!" Sirius called across the room.

He was sat towards the front of the room with the rest of the boys. Flitwick had sat them there to 'keep an eye on them' but it hadn't stopped their class disruptions.

"Oh," Bess said, grabbing her wand. She took a split-second to work out the angle and then concentrated on casting the spell. She was glad it was this - it was the first spell she'd ever managed to cast, and she'd practiced it enough times now that she was hopeful she wouldn't make a fool of herself.

She just registered Lily's shocked voice saying "wait, Bess-" before the water erupted from the end of her wand and arched through the air, before splashing down, filling the glass.

A few drops spilt on the desk around the glass, but she hoped it wouldn't lose her too many points.

Silence filled the room, and Bess looked around, wondering what she'd done.

"I- well-" Flitwick said, scratching his head with one hand, the other hand resting on his hip. "Yes, well then, I- uh- well... I guess there's nothing I can do about that. I did say a few drops would be fine. Uh- yes... twenty-five points to Gryffindor, and you're all dismissed for the day. Do try and practice though, won't you?"

"What just happened?" Bess asked Lily, as everyone began to pack up their things before rushing out of the room as if scared Flitwick would change his mind.

Lily just smiled and shook her head. "You really shouldn't trust everything Sirius tells you..."

"He was just helping me!"

"No, he was helping himself." Lily replied, swinging her bag over her shoulder.

"What do you mean?" Bess asked, walking after her.

"Flitwick was explaining the theory around aguamenti, and James asked if they could just skip the lesson because if it wasn't turning vinegar into wine, what was the point?" Lily explained, rolling her eyes. "And then Flitwick said that he couldn't dismiss them just like that, but that he had a wager instead."

As they walked down the corridor, the other girls ran ahead, waving at Bess and Lily, before ducking into the stairwell, heading back to the common room.

"Wait, where're we going?"

"Lake okay with you?"

"Oh yeah, sure... sorry, go on."

"Right. So-"

Before Lily could continue, James threw his arm around her shoulders and grinned down at her. "Alright Lils?"

"Call me Lils again and I'll hex you in to next week." She replied stonily, before shoving his arm off her shoulders.

"What happened to being okay now?" James asked, obviously put out.

Lily just rolled her eyes in reply, a small smile on her face. James realised she was only teasing him and sent her a lopsided grin.

Just then, Sirius caught up to the small group. Rather than run over like James, he'd walked along with Remus and Peter.

He sent Bess a grin and wrapped an arm round her waist before kissing her on the cheek. "Well done, love! Well done!"

Bess rolled her eyes and pushed his arm away. "Lily was just explaining what happened in class."

"What happened, was that you were a badass, and ol' Flitwick lost a wager!" James cried, high fiving Sirius.

Bess, who just wasn't in the mood for joking around, pursed her lips and raised an eyebrow at Lily. "Go on?"

"Flitwick bet the class no one could do what you did. If he lost the wager, we could all go outside and enjoy the last of the sunshine, and the student who cast the spell would get points. If we lost, we'd have double homework."

"It was my idea to ask about drops on the table!" Peter piped up.

"Oh yeah, a few drops were fine. A slosh, wasn't." Lily added.

Bess, who still couldn't summon a smile, nodded and began to walk in the direction of the staircase that would lead her to the castle grounds.

"Oh come on love! You can't be mad! I had full faith in you!" Sirius said, as he dodged in front of her, hands in his pockets, and walked backwards so he could face her as they walked.

"I'm not, I'm just... in a bit of a mood." Bess replied.

"You weren't in the library were you?" Lily called from behind her.

Bess shook her head and frowned at the floor as she walked.

"Love, what's up?" Sirius asked, stopping her.

Bess took a breath in before turning to the group and asking, "what's a blood traitor?"

She'd been trying to remember what it meant for the whole morning, but it was like there was a block in her mind - she couldn't for the life of her remember what it meant, or fathom what it could mean. It was like her mind was telling her that she needed to ask - she wouldn't find out on her own.

When she asked what the term meant, Sirius' jaw tensed, James frowned deeply, Remus suddenly found his shoe incredibly interesting, Peter squeaked and looked around, and Lily stepped forwards and put a hand on Bess' arm.

"What happened?" Lily asked softly.

As she told the group a summary of what had happened, and paraphrased what the boy had said, Sirius became angrier and angrier.

"What did he look like?" He asked, a murderous expression on his face.

"Why? You can't go after him, so what's the point?" Bess exclaimed.

"What's the-?" Sirius asked, his face an odd mix of thunderous and confused. He paused, closed his eyes, pinched the bridge of his nose, and breathed in deeply. Finally, after a moment, he opened his eyes and dropped his hand to his side. "Love..." he began slowly, "he shoved you to the ground."

"Yes, and imagine what he'll do to me if you go after him? It's all just a power play. Besides, you haven't even told me what it means yet."

When no one spoke, Lily said, "it's a pureblood witch or wizard who... well, I guess generally is happy to-"

"Fraternise with Mudbloods?" Bess finished for her. Bess could tell the boys wanted to tell her not to use that language, but none of them said anything.

"For want of a better phrase, yeah." Lily said quickly.

Just like last time, Bess' mind was flooded with instances where people had spoken about blood traitors, and remembered for the first time that Sirius had been called one.

She turned back to him and asked, "are you one?"

"Yeah. All of us are in a way... but definitely James and I... but I'm probably the worst in their eyes." He didn't elaborate further, and Bess reached out to hold his hand, wanting to comfort him. She gave it a squeeze. His eyes flickered to hers and he sent her the tiniest smile and squeezed her hand in return.

"Do you remember what he looked like?" James asked slowly.

"Why? So you can go after him too?" Bess asked indignantly.

James looked to Sirius, who just shook his head.

"No, I don't think so. Just, you know, so we know who to look out for in case it happens again." James replied, and Bess didn't miss the worried look he sent towards Lily.

"Uh- bit younger than us, bit shorter than me but not by much I'd say... black hair... bit of a shitty expression on his face. I dunno, non-descript up himself haughty Slytherin I guess."

Sirius let out a breath of a laugh and edged closer to Bess as he held on to her hand.

"Do you remember what he said, love?" He asked, putting his other hand on her waist.

"He said... he said that he knew exactly who I was... and it didn't sound like he didn't want to talk to me, as much as he wasn't allowed to - he said he shouldn't be talking to me. He also said that I should ask..." she trailed off, not wanting to say it.

"Go on love..."

"He said to... to... to ask my blood traitor. He said..."

"He said what about me, love?"

"He said you'd fill me in on his family and their reputation."

It was as if a switch had flicked in Sirius' mind as he changed in an instant, his expression becoming cold and filled with hatred.

"Excuse me." He said, as he took his hand from hers and placed it on the back of her neck, pulling her in to him, before kissing her on the cheek.

His lips lingered on her skin for a second longer than usual before he let her go and turned, striding away from the group with purpose, one fist clenched, the other holding his wand. His bag lay forgotten on the floor next to Bess.

James dropped his bag and ran after Sirius, whipping out his own wand as he went. By the time they reached the end of the corridor the duo were striding along together - a formidable force.

"But-" Bess began.

Remus cut across her, his expression sad and worry filled. "No, Bess... not this one. He'll listen to you for the others, but... this one..."

Bess frowned deeply. "Why? Who was that?"

Remus took a deep breath in before whispering, "Sirius' brother, Regulus."

"How does he know?" Bess asked slowly, eyes wide in shock.

Remus shrugged. "He just does."

Bess turned back to stare in the direction the boys had gone.

Chapter Text

Sirius and James didn't return to the common room until after dinner, and when they did, Sirius was limping, and James was holding a bloody rag to his nose, which was still bleeding profusely.

As he crossed the room, Sirius looked around, and finally, made eye contact with Bess. She sent him a small smile, and he nodded at her.

Remus and Peter met them at the door to the boys' dormitories, and they all traipsed upstairs.

A few hours later, when all of the girls had gone to bed, Bess found herself lying across an armchair, deep in thought, and staring at the fire.

She was trying to work out how she felt about Sirius going after Regulus. Her first reaction was worry - not for Regulus, but for Sirius. She felt guilty that he'd gone against his own brother to protect her honour, and she couldn't find it in herself to be upset or annoyed at him.

In fact, she felt like she trusted him so much more. She was trying to work out why, when she heard a noise behind her.

She looked up and saw Sirius, clad in the same pyjama bottoms she'd been wearing in the hospital wing, and a plain black t-shirt. He was standing in the doorway to the boys' dormitories, a worried expression on his face.

"Come here." She said, sitting up and tucking her legs under her.

He walked over slowly, already limping less than he had been, and sat on the arm of the chair, looking down at her. After a moment she got up, stood between his knees, and hugged him tightly. He moved her curls to the side and buried his head in the crook of her neck and squeezed her even closer.

"You're not angry?" She heard him say against her neck.

"With him? Yes. With you? No."

"Why?"

"I- I- I've been trying to rationalise it, but I can only really think of it like this... I was angry when I saw you hurting that Slytherin boy... it was public, and it was potentially humiliat-"

"He tried to hex me again last week..." He said, raising his head slightly and nuzzling her neck.

"Shush..." She said with a laugh. "But... when you went off to look for Regulus, and came back... it felt like you were trying to protect me. There was no 'I'm better than you' feel to it. It wasn't public, it wasn't... ugh- it was..."

"So fighting my brother, good, fighting other people, bad?" He asked with a chuckle.

"You know that's not what I meant!" Bess said with a whine, trying to pull out of the embrace.

Sirius held her tight and nuzzled in to her neck again, mumbling "I know, I'm just teasing..."

"It's just different. And I'd say by the looks of things you're well matched with him on the duelling ground, and I'm guessing there's a lot more to unpack from the whole thing..." She whispered, thinking about his family and their blood purist views.

"I- I don't-"

"Shh, we don't have to talk about it now."

"Thanks." He mumbled against her neck.

She almost shivered when he pressed a kiss to the juncture of her neck and shoulder.

"How's your leg?" She whispered, trying to ignore the blush rising in her cheeks.

"Not too bad. Remus fixed us up."

"Did you have dinner?"

"Yes, mum, we did." He said with a small chuckle.

She pulled back and cupped his face. "I feel like that's an insult..."

Sirius laughed and reached up a hand to push her curls back over her shoulder, bringing his hand to rest at the back of her neck.

They stared at each other for a moment before Bess said, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I know it'll take a lot more than duelling my brother to make up for-"

"It's not- argh, it's- it doesn't make sense, I know, but-"

"It didn't, I didn't get it, but after talking to Remus-"

"-Remus-" Bess said at the same time, a smile on her face.

"I understood it more." He said, moving his hand from her neck to hold her hand which was still cupping his face. "You have no one in this world-"

"Harsh-" Bess whispered, a teasing smile on her face.

Sirius stopped to roll his eyes before continuing, "-and for some reason you trusted me completely. I intentionally tried to hurt you. That's not something you can get over in an instant. I- I understand the feeling."

"You do?"

He nodded and looked down, moving his hands round to play with the hem of her jumper. "When I thought you'd been kissing Scott, I felt betrayed. It was sickening, and I- I lashed out. But when James told me you weren't- I felt-" He stopped and sighed. "I just- I know it's going to take time." He said, nodding to himself, before looking back up, staring into Bess' eyes.

"And in the meantime we're...? What is this?" She asked, with a frown.

"Courting."

"Courting?! What are we? Old people?" She asked with a shocked laugh.

He laughed and brought his arms around her again. "Blame James' secret romance novel collection."

"His what now?" She asked, raising an eyebrow.

He chuckled. "Lily mentioned this book once and he bought the whole series so he could chat to her about it. She's never brought it up again though." He said, laughing. "But yeah, I'm just... I don't want to call it waiting... but I am. I'm waiting until you feel comfortable enough... and to prove that I've grown up... because after all you've been through, you deserve to not be hurt emotionally again."

"Maybe I should just date Remus..." Bess said pursing her lips and looking at the ceiling, pretending to be deep in thought.

"Please don't even joke about that..." He groaned, pulling her in tighter and tickling her.

Bess squealed with laughter and he stopped and pulled her in again, grinning at her.

"It's just a fancy way of saying... that if you're okay with it, we're just slightly more than friends, but still getting to know each other."

"So you don't do this kind of thing with James?" She asked, laughing, before biting her lip, and cocking her head to the side.

She wanted to say she was okay with it - she really was. But she felt like she was taking advantage of him in a way - she knew his future, she was lying to him, and she was taking him away from James and Remus.

"There are things I haven't told you." She finally whispered.

"Same." He replied without a pause.

"Important things."

"Same..."

"I don't know when-"

"Same."

"About-"

"Same."

"There are things I don't know if I can ever tell you."

He simply nodded.

"Then I'm okay with this."

"Good." He replied, before leaning forwards and rubbing his nose against hers.

When he pulled back, Bess whispered "I think I need to show you something.."

He frowned and ran a hand over her hair, trailing down her back until he reached her waist.

She took a deep breath and reached down, pulling up the left hand sleeve of her jumper.

Finally, after what felt like minutes of staring in to each other's eyes, his eyes trailed down. They widened when he looked at her scar, and he stilled.

Bess took in a shuddering breath.

He didn't say anything, but stood up suddenly, and pulled her into his arms again.

For the first time in months, she felt truly safe. He didn't need to say anything.

He held her for a while until she pulled back and said "we should go to bed."

He nodded and, after kissing her on the cheek, walked her over to the girls' dormitory stairs.

xXx

Thursday and Friday passed in a flash. It seemed the boys' duel with Regulus and two of his friends had become the new hot goss, and, when someone had seen Bess and Sirius share a long look at breakfast, it hadn't taken long for people to work out why he'd taken his brother down.

Regulus, other than sneering at her, hadn't done anything in retaliation.

Snape and Damacus, the two Slytherins in Bess' Potions class, hadn't tried to mess with her either.

Part of Bess wanted to know what had happened, but the larger part of her didn't.

She had a strong feeling that she'd be on the receiving end of some terrible curses soon, but no one seemed to want to step a toe out of line.

"It's half term next week, no one wants to spend their free week in detention." Lily whispered to her as they sat together at lunch on Friday.

The girls, who had obviously noticed something going on between Bess and Sirius, hadn't said anything so far. She knew they'd begin to ask questions soon, but they were holding off for a while.

She was just thinking it was a little too quiet when James appeared at Lily's side.

"Evans!"

Lily's groan should have been the first thing that tipped him off to her bad mood - she had a terrible headache - but unfortunately for him, he didn't notice.

"Gettling said you're going to Hogsmeade on your own?"

The girls either had dates, were going with other friends or, in Solstice and Bess' cases, weren't going at all.

"And?" Lily asked, grimacing.

"Come with me and I'll buy you everything you want!" He asked, a giant smile on his face.

"I don't need your money, Potter." She groaned, putting her head in her hands.

"Then I'll-"

"Can you just go away?" She asked, rather harshly, Bess thought.

Bess, who had thought that James asked Lily out a lot, hadn't witnessed this before. She was sure Lily thought he was just doing it to be annoying, and that she didn't think he was serious. James, on the other hand, was deadly serious.

His face fell and he frowned deeply. "Fine." He said, as he stalked off.

"Lily...?"

"What?" She asked sharply, finally lifting her head from her hands.

"He was trying..."

"He was joking."

"No, he wasn't." Bess said quietly, shaking her head slightly and looking down the table with a sad expression on her face.

Lily followed her gaze and watched as James just grabbed his bag and walked straight out of the hall.

"He's always throwing his money around... always offering to pay for things..." Lily said quietly.

"It's nineteen seventy-six, Lily... that's what boys do when they like a girl... I don't agree with it, I'm more of a pay my own way kind of person, but it's what they do."

"He doesn't really-"

Bess held up a hand. She knew without a doubt, that they would get together within the next year. "I think we both know he does. He's been a prat in the past, but he seems like he's been trying."

"You're only saying this because you like Sirius..."

"Am I?" Bess asked, raising an eyebrow.

Lily blushed and looked down, suddenly finding her soup very interesting.

xXx

That night, Bess, who always found herself feeling restless the night before her birthday, wanted to do something reckless.

She'd spent an hour that evening straightening her hair and painting her nails in an effort to do something but it hadn't been enough to satiate her need for... she didn't know what.

After making sure the girls were all asleep, she tip toed to her trunk and grabbed a hoodie and her trainers, slipping the clothing on over her pyjamas.

She wanted to go on an adventure.

Barely three quarters of an hour later, she found herself standing in the left corridor of the seventh floor, staring at a large portrait of Barnabas the Barmy teaching some trolls ballet. Well, attempting to.

When she'd finally found the painting, she'd felt her adrenaline spike, and had barely stopped herself from pacing the corridor and entering the Room of Requirement.

The only thing stopping her was that she didn't want to spend her birthday with a little slice of Voldemort.

Just as she was about to head downstairs - she wanted to try and find the kitchens - she heard a rough snarling voice behind her.

"You again!"

Bess groaned and turned around to see Filch standing behind her. It was no use, she was definitely caught, and there was nowhere to run. "Follow me..." he sneered.

Bess nodded and followed him through corridors and hallways until they finally reached his office. He pushed the door open, mumbling about students having no respect for curfews or him, and Bess stepped inside.

"Elizabeth! What on earth are you doing here?" James asked. He was lounging in a chair in the corner, obviously having been caught before Bess.

They grinned at each other and she shrugged.

"Shut it, Potter." Filch said loudly, as he flicked through his papers and pulled out a detailed looking sheet.

"Out after hours..." He began, as he took out a quill and started to tick off indiscretions. "Reason?" He asked, glaring up at her from his desk.

Bess shrugged. She didn't know what to say.

"Insubordination..." He said quietly, writing on the sheet.

"Nice. I haven't got that one in years..." James whispered.

"I said shut it, Potter! Or do you want to add to your punishments?" Filch snapped, before turning back to Bess. "I hope you enjoy your half term... I'm not sure you will though... I'm recommending three detentions..."

"Three?! You only recommended me for two and you caught me-"

"Shut it!"

James glared, but held his tongue.

Filch finally dropped the duo back at the Gryffindor common room a quarter of an hour later.

"Well, that was fun..." he said, chuckling to himself. "Well, uh- better go to back to bed then..."

With that, he whistled, turned around, and walked over to the door to the boys' dormitories.

"Sleep well!" She called to him, as she turned around and walked back to the portrait hole.

"What're you doing?" He called across the common room, as she pushed the portrait and poked her head out, checking the coast was clear.

"Going out."

"But Filch just caught you..."

"Exactly. Now he won't expect me to be out again. If he catches me again that's my own fault."

"What's so important?"

Bess pursed her lips, not knowing what to say. "I want to go to the kitchens."

"Midnight snack? Because Remus has chocolate if that's what you want?"

Bess smiled and shook her head. "You guys need to leave Remus and his food alone... No, I want a hot chocolate and some adventure." She said with a smile, before she slipped out of the portrait hole, leaving him behind.

She ran down the flights of stairs to the corridor above the Entrance Hall.

"You're crazy." James said, pulling her behind a suit of armour just before Filch walked around the corner. Once he was gone, James let her step out in to the corridor.

"Sorry. Really thought he would have gone the other way... why're you here?" She asked with a frown.

"Call him old fashioned, but I think Sirius would prefer if his girlfriend didn't have so many detentions she couldn't spend any time with him in half term week."

"He's not my boyfriend, as you very well know." Bess said, rolling her eyes and walking quickly towards the stairs leading to the hall.

He grinned at her and cocked his head to the side. "Sure about that?"

She glared at him playfully and said, "shut up..." as she felt the blush rise to her cheeks.

He followed her down the corridor. "Do you know how to get to the kitchens?"

"I know I have to tickle a pear, I just need to find it first..." she said, before running down the stairs.

She thought she was alone for a moment until he spoke again, "do you want a pointer?"

"Hmm... What time is it?"

"Almost eleven..."

"Then no thanks, I have time." She whispered back, moving in to an alcove and peering in to the dark hall.

"When're you meant to be there?" He asked. He wasn't even trying to hide - he was just leaning against the wall next to her hiding place.

"Midnight." She said, tip toeing to the next alcove and peeking out.

James frowned and followed her. "Who're you meeting?"

"Your dad. He said to say hi." She said with a playful glare, before rolling her eyes. "Myself. I'm meeting myself."

James, who had let out a small laugh, grinned again.

"Okay, come do something with me and I'll take you to the kitchens."

"No thanks, I don't really want to be part of your pranks..."

"It's not a prank!"

She raised an eyebrow.

"It's really not." He replied quietly.

She pursed her lips and appraised him for a moment. "We'll definitely be back by midnight?"

"I'm eighty per cent sure."

She thought about it for a moment. She really wanted to be in the kitchens by 12, but also found her interest piqued. "Where're we headed?"

"Greenhouse four."

"Herbology?"

"You catch on quick!" He said, as he walked noisily across the hall and opened the main door to the castle grounds.

"Why?"

"Need to water the mandrakes."

"What?" She asked quietly, as she stepped out of the door.

"They're like fat babies at the moment, and need extra care. Sprout's good and all, but she always forgets the extra water on the Friday night before a half term."

"How long've you been doing this?"

They were now walking quickly along the path.

"Since last year."

"Why?" She asked quietly.

"Why not?"

Bess shrugged. "I just thought you'd be doing a prank or something."

"Didn't say I wasn't... Sirius is somewhere in the castle with a few dungbombs as we speak. We take it in turns to sacrifice ourselves to Filch for the cause."

"That's... oddly sweet."

"Thanks."

They walked in silence for a while until they finally came to the right greenhouse.

"It's locked..." Bess whispered as she tried the door.

"You are a witch aren't you?" He asked, waving his wand and unlocking it.

"Since January, yeah..." she joked.

He looked up at her with a grimace. "Always forget about that... be right back."

Bess looked around as he slipped inside the greenhouse, before moving to sit on an upturned bucket near the door while she stared up at the stars.

James did come right back... at least fifteen minutes later... carrying a bucket of manure and some odd looking leaves.

By this time, Bess had lain down on the grass, still stargazing.

"Alright?" He asked as she sat up.

Bess raised an eyebrow at his hoard.

"We're-"

She held up a hand and said "honestly, I don't want to know," before standing up and wiping down the back of her pyjama trousers.

"Probably for the best. Hold this?"

She held the bucket and grimaced at the smell as James locked the door again. The manure smelt awful.

Taking the bucket back, he checked his watch and set off at a faster pace than the way there. "Sorry, that took longer than I thought."

"What's the time?" She asked quietly. She knew they'd spent too long outside, but she didn't have a watch, and there was a curious lack of clocks at the greenhouses.

"Sorry... It's almost midnight. Think it's about two minutes to."

Bess stopped. They wouldn't make it back to the castle in time. She frowned deeply and ran her fingers through her freshly straightened hair before putting her hands in her hoodie pockets and looking back up at the stars.

James, who had walked on further, turned around and jogged back to her. "We can make it for just after twelve?" He asked, looking worried.

She smiled at him and shook her head. "Could you show me where they are after midnight?"

"Sure." He nodded.

"Will you tell me when it turns twelve?"

He nodded again.

She looked up at the sky again and stared at the constellations. She had no idea what they were, having not taken astronomy, but she looked for Orion's belt - the only one she knew.

"It's midnight." He whispered.

Bess closed her eyes and sighed deeply before nodding, turning around, and marching towards the castle again.

James followed her silently until they got to the Entrance Hall, when he placed the bucket near the bottom of the stairs and led her over to a set of stairs leading downwards.

"Portrait's just down there." He said, pointing towards a giant painting which sat near a load of barrels. "Just-"

"Tickle the pear. I got it from here. Thanks! Enjoy your bucket of shit," she said with a grin, before bounding down the stairs.

Just as she got to the bottom she heard him whisper loudly "what time are you heading back?"

She turned to look up at him and replied, "about two I think."

He nodded. "I'll see you then," and left the doorway.

xXx

True to his word, James returned at two. Bess, who had been waiting for him when he'd arrived, ran up the stairs two at a time, and they set off together.

"What happened at midnight?" He asked as they reached the fifth floor.

"I left a glass slipper on the stairs..."

"Come again?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

"Muggle story."

"Please elaborate."

"Ugh, I honestly can't be bothered. I'll get you a set of nursery rhymes for Christmas or something."

He grinned. "It's a long way to the common room... how about a truth for a truth?"

"Sure."

"When Sirius and I were fourteen-"

"Love it already!" She said, grinning at him.

"We snuck in to the prefect's bathroom and tried to run a bath-"

"Of course."

"But we used too much of the soap and ended up breaking a whole section of the plumbing-"

"Not where I thought this was going, but okay..."

James chuckled before his expression turned serious. "Do you think Lily will ever say yes?"

"Definitely."

"I thought you'd be in camp 'don't like James'."

"You got that vibe from me?"

"No... I just... I guess I just imagined all her friends don't like me."

"No. Look... you're doing well... it's just going to take time for her to realise you're changing and growing up. You have been horrid to her ex-best friend for years..."

"But he's... he's-"

"He was her best friend. No matter what he's done or will do."

James fell silent and they didn't say anything for a long time, until finally they came to the portrait of the Fat Lady.

"I should have known it was you..." The lady said, before shooting a glare in James' direction.

"Don't know what you're talking about..." he replied with a cocky grin.

"Bumbling bridges," Bess said loudly. This earned her a glare from the lady, but soon enough the portrait swung open.

As she clambered in to the common room, Bess turned to wave goodbye to James. "Don't give up. You two are endgame."

"Endgame?" He asked, frowning.

Bess grimaced and mentally slapped herself for using modern slang.

"Uh... it's Muggle slang from where I'm from. Means you're meant to be. Just... give her time. And while you're waiting, grow up a bit?"

James threw his head back and laughed. "So your advice is do what Sirius is doing?"

"It's working isn't it?" She replied with a wink, before climbing the girls' stairs.

She took off her boots, hoodie and muddy pyjama trousers and slid on a spare pair before quietly getting in to bed.

xXx

The next morning, Bess dressed up a bit more than usual - she did her make up and lightly curled her hair in to a relaxed Hollywood waves kind of style, and picked out her boots, a close fitting long sleeved black turtleneck dress, tights, and her leather jacket.

By the time she was done, Lily was the only girl left in the dorm.

"Date?" Lily asked, looking up from her book.

Bess shook her head as she wrangled with the clasp of a simple silver necklace. Her shopping list for the day included getting a new charm for it.

"Birthday."

Lily frowned. "Sirius' birthday is in November..."

"How do you know that?" She asked as she pulled on her boots.

"There's a stupid party every year. It always falls around half term so they go all out."

Bess nodded and looked in the mirror. Behind her, Lily raised an eyebrow.

"It's mine." Bess said, sighing.

"What?"

"It's my birthday..."

"WHAT?" Lily cried as she jumped up and ran over to her friend. "Why didn't you tell us?"

"Never the right time I guess?" She replied with a shrug.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Don't be! I wasn't going to go today, but then... thought I have some things to pick up..."

Lily nodded. "Sol got back together with Derek yesterday..."

"Nooooooo!" Bess cried, her mouth dropping open in shock.

"Yup." Lily said, rolling her eyes. "Which means... I'm completely free. I was actually going to stay here with you..."

Bess grinned. "Fancy getting boring things, chocolate, and a present for Sirius with me?"

Lily nodded enthusiastically and ran over to her trunk, pulling out a green dress.

xXx

When they got downstairs, Bess and Lily joined a very short queue of students - they seemed to be the last to be headed down to the village.

Filch was none too pleased to see Bess, and almost didn't let her go, but Professor Sprout had been passing as the girls argued with the caretaker, and made him let them go as Bess was now 17.

As they walked, Bess explained the previous night's excursion to Lily, who was both impressed and enamoured by James' kindness to Bess - though Bess conveniently left out the part about the trip to the greenhouses.

After she reminded Lily that she had spent three weeks in Hogsmeade that year, Lily stopped her automatic explanation of what shops were around, and instead asked where Bess wanted to go first.

Grinning, Bess led the way to Dervish and Bangs, where she picked out a second hand record player. She had it gift wrapped, but declined the offer to send it to the castle, and instead took it straight over to the Post Office, where she requested the most ridiculously large and fabulous bird they had.

She wanted to send it to Sirius for his birthday, and needed the delivery to be absolutely ridiculous, seeing as he had a flair for the dramatic and she remembered he would send Harry letters via exotic birds when he was on the run.

Since Sirius' birthday wouldn't be for another week and a half, they excitedly said that they could order in some Golden Snidgets for "only fifteen galleons". Bess, who thought this was a ridiculous price for such a weird present, took about five minutes to think of alternatives before she saw a duck sitting on one of the pedestals.

"You're sure you want this delivered by seven ducks?" The cashier repeated, frowning at her.

"Yes. The saddest looking ducks you can find. Fat ones, tall thin ones, it doesn't matter, but they have to look as ridiculous as possible."

"Alright... I guess I've had weirder requests..." the man grumbled, before Bess passed over one galleon and exited the shop.

"What did you go for?"

"Seven ducks."

Lily stopped in the street and looked at Bess weirdly.

"What?" Bess asked, second guessing her decision. "The Golden Snidgets were too expensive and-"

"No, it's absolutely perfect. Honestly, I think he'd love that, and I don't even know him that well!" Lily said, suddenly grinning from ear to ear. "You know him so well... it's just utterly ridiculous enough. Are you sure he'd like a record player though?"

Bess grinned and shrugged before linking arms with the redhead as they walked down to the Three Broomsticks for a spot of late lunch.

They had been planning to go to Scrivenshaft's so Bess could buy a lockable journal and some enchanted ink which only she could read, so that she could start writing down everything she remembered about Horcruxes, but it was now packed with students who were about to head back to the castle.

As she walked in to the warm pub, Bess was reminded of the second time she met Sirius. The hustle and bustle was much the same, and the place was filled with students chatting, laughing, drinking and eating.

"I don't know if we'll get a seat..." Lily said, looking around the pub as they walked to the counter.

"Drink while we wait?" Bess asked, signalling to the bar tender. He nodded and waved at her to say he'd be over as soon as he could.

"Butterbeer I think..." Lily replied, taking out her purse.

"And a mead?" Bess asked, and Lily nodded. "On me." Bess said, pushing the other girl's hand away. "Please?"

Lily relented as the tender came over.

"Two butterbeers, two small glasses of mead, and a bottle of water with two glasses please." Bess ordered quickly, handing over a few gold coins, "and keep the change."

"Thanks Bess! Ros was wondering when you'd be back!" He said with a smile as he turned to make their drinks.

"Do you know everyone?" Lily asked quietly.

"I lived here for three weeks, I'd hope so!" Bess replied, grateful that the bar tender had one, remembered who she was, and two, knew she was of age now. She imagined there must be a list sent to the pub of all the overage students.

"Was it weird, stu-" Lily began, before being cut off by Sirius' voice.

"Love, how on earth did you get out of the castle?" Sirius asked as he put his arms around Bess and pulled her to him.

She laughed, gave him a quick squeeze, and stepped back, leaning against the counter. "Walked out. What about you?"

"Alright Evans?" He asked, nodding at the redhead who rolled her eyes and picked up one of the butterbeers that had just been delivered to the counter Bess was leaning against. Sirius turned back to Bess and asked, "didn't Filch catch you? Or did you do the same as last night and just walk out anyway?" He asked, looking impressed.

Bess grinned and shook her head, before miming locking her lips and throwing away the key.

"Well, it's a wonderful surprise, however you managed it," he said, grinning, and reaching up to tug at the hem of her jacket, pulling her closer to him. "Fancy joining us?" He asked, nodding over to the boys' table.

Bess looked over to see that Remus was reading a book as usual, Peter was tucking in to the largest piece of pie Bess had ever seen, and James was stirring what looked like a cup of coffee, with a glum expression on his face.

Bess frowned. "James okay?"

Sirius leaned in to whisper in her ear. "Yeah... he's just a little down because he was hoping Evans would say yes this time. I think this is the longest he's gone without asking her out."

"Oh, but we talked about this last night!" Bess whined.

"Yeah, but then he woke up and 'the harsh realities of his life came in to focus'" he said, mimicking James' voice.

"Two meads..." the bartender said, putting down the last of their drinks, and heading off to serve someone else.

"What? How did you get that? Ros has always said we're not-" Sirius looked up for a moment as realisation dawned on him. "Love..."

Bess didn't answer, but instead looked at Lily and they both sipped their drinks as they tried not to laugh.

"Right, least I can do is buy you a birthday lunch. Evans, you coming?" He asked, as he put a hand on Bess' waist and tried to push her gently towards his table.

"I'm not going without her," Bess argued, grabbing his hand.

"That's fine, I'm starving, and I think I have an apology to make..." Lily said, as she walked Bess and headed over to the table. Bess and Sirius grinned as James leapt up to pull out a chair for Lily and she put a hand on his arm and whispered something in his ear before sitting down.

Bess looked down at what Sirius was wearing, and chuckled.

"What?" He asked, looking down as well. He was clad in a pair of black straight legged jeans again, but this time had a Fleetwood Mac t-shirt on.

She raised an eyebrow and asked, "do you actually know who they are?"

"Of course! Why? One of your favourites?"

"Actually yes."

"After you outed me as a..."

"Poser." She supplied with a teasing smile.

"Yes, as a poser... I bought a load of records. I think James got tired of hearing Bohemian Rhapsody after the sixth time I played it and hid my record player..." he trailed off, frowning.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why'd you buy more records?"

"Well, I had a girl to impress..." he said, kissing her on the cheek. They smiled at each other for a moment before Sirius turned to the counter to order.

After he'd finished ordering food for the girls, saying "it's a surprise," he led Bess over to his table, where James was now gesticulating wildly, brandishing a pretend sword and saving a reluctant Remus from Peter's dragon impression. Lily, who had already drunk half her glass of mead, was almost crying with laughter.

"Sounds like more of an adventure than Bess explained!" Lily said, still giggling, as Bess sat down next to her.

"Told you. James is the man." Bess said, winking at James as Sirius wrapped an arm around her shoulders.

Half an hour later, a plump steak with chips, peppercorn sauce and a grilled tomato was placed in front of Bess, while a shepherd's pie was delivered to Lily.

Sirius leant in to whisper in her ear. "I went for medium, didn't know what you liked and thought it was a safe bet. Dessert's sticky toffee pudding and cream."

Bess turned to look at Sirius, an indescribable expression on her face.

"Not good?" He asked, a worried expression on his face.

She shook her head. "Absolutely perfect," she said, before leaning in and placing a long kiss on his cheek, her lips brushing the corner of his mouth. "Thank you."

Bess stared in to his eyes and leant back in to rub her nose against his, before turning back to her food. She didn't miss the grin which spread across his face.

"So Lily, has anyone ever told you about the time these two ruined the plumbing in the prefect's bathroom?" She asked, taking a sip of her mead.

Lily's eyes widened and her jaw dropped open. "That was you two?"

Bess laughed as the boys turned defensive, and began to eat her steak.

Without knowing it, Sirius had ordered one of her favourite meals for her and, sitting in the little pub surrounded by her new friends and the boy she was... courting... she found herself completely and utterly happy for the first time in almost a year.

It almost... almost stopped the sick feeling growing in her stomach, caused by the knowledge that one of the Horcruxes sat just five minutes' walk from where she slept every night, just inside the Room of Requirement.

Chapter Text

"Bess?" Peter asked exasperatedly.

Bess groaned, rubbed her eyes, ran her hands down her face, leaving them cupping her cheeks, and sighed. "I don't know."

A minute passed before she heard her name again. "Bess, come on..." Peter groaned.

She pursed her lips, frowned, and scratched her chin before reaching down and putting her fingers above a knight.

"Wouldn't do that one, love," Sirius whispered in her ear.

"Hey! Don't help her! That's not fair!" Peter cried. "Prongs!"

"But she's at a disadvantage!" Sirius argued, before returning his chin to Bess' shoulder and staring down at the chess pieces which were showing their boredom - they were leaning against their swords, checking their gauntlets, or in the case of Peter's king, yawning.

It was the middle of the half term week and Bess was sat cross legged on the floor of the common room, playing a round of Wizard's Chess with Peter.

Sirius, who was still in his pyjamas, had walked in to the common room half-way through their game and was now sat behind Bess with her back to his chest, his knees either side of her, his arms wrapped around her waist, and his chin on her shoulder.

"My disadvantage seems to have black hair, grey eyes, and an annoying habit of kissing my shoulder..." Bess whispered, adjusting the neck of her jumper absentmindedly before leaning forwards to look at the board more closely. She felt Sirius' laugh before she heard it, and smiled to herself.

"I think you forgot devastatingly handsome..." he whispered, reaching up a hand and gently pulling the shoulder of her wide necked jumper to the side again.

"Maybe," she whispered back, cocking her head to the side as she stared at the board, "that, or incredibly egotistical..." she added, before sticking her tongue out in concentration.

Sirius just chuckled, pulled her back against his chest, and kissed her now-bare shoulder again.

As much as she was in a joking mood, she was, in actual fact, quite annoyed. She had wanted to go in to the Room of Requirement this week, but every time she left the common room on her own, Sirius, James, Lily, Jo, Skye, Peter, or Remus, had followed her to 'make sure she was okay'.

Her friends had taken it upon themselves to make sure she was protected from any potential threats - i.e. Slytherins - and so she wasn't allowed anywhere on her own.

It had done wonders for her relationships, both platonic and romantic, but nothing for her overall plan of trying to change the future of the world she found herself in.

It had now been over five days since she had worked out where the Room of Requirement was, and she still hadn't managed to go inside it.

She felt restless, and knew she'd need to find a way to distract everyone soon, so that she could begin her work.

"Come on Bess, really, they'll start fighting each other soon!" Peter whined.

Bess bit her lip in thought, and hovered her fingers over a rook.

"Lo-" Sirius began. He stopped halfway through his word, as Bess turned her head to the right. He pulled back slightly, and she raised an eyebrow and placed a finger over his lips.

"Shush, or you'll have to leave." She promised, before turning back to the game.

"Sorry, love..." Sirius said, squeezing her to him. She could hear the smile in his voice.

She reached down and moved her intended chess piece - the Queen. She made eye contact with Peter and smiled evilly as she picked up the piece and placed it in front of his king.

"Check... mate." she said quietly.

"What? How?" Peter asked, staring down at the board as Bess giggled.

She'd known her move five minutes previously, but she couldn't help but mess with the watery eyed boy. As much as she had to pretend to be his friend for the sake of her relationship, or courtship, with Sirius, she couldn't stop herself from one-upping him ever so often.

"Well done, love," Sirius said, before kissing her shoulder again and rubbing a hand up and down her jumper clad stomach.

Grinning, she picked up her new journal, and began to stand up. Sirius pulled her back down and pushed her hair off her shoulder again as she groaned in annoyance.

"I thought you wanted to spend time with me..." he murmured against the crook of her neck.

"I do, but I thought we were just slightly more than friends..." she said with a smile as Sirius moved his arms to cover hers and wrapped them around her waist.

"Friends cuddle..."

"You mean, you're trying to show everyone in here that I'm..." she trailed off, not knowing how to put it. The only word she could think of was yours.

She didn't mind this one bit, but she needed to think, and Sirius could be... intoxicating. She wondered what it would be like when they actually kissed... or more.

"Fine." Sirius said, before nuzzling her cheek with his nose and releasing her.

"Thank you." She said quickly, standing up and moving to the armchair behind him. She lay across it, her legs dangling over one arm, and pulled out the quill which was tucked in to her little golden notebook.

After they'd finished their Hogsmeade lunch at the weekend, Sirius had insisted that the boys take Bess and Lily to Scrivenshaft's, where Bess picked out a notebook which was enchanted so that only she could open it, and a bottle of ink which only she could read.

She could, if she wanted to, charm the book to allow more people to open it, or the ink to allow others to read her writing, but she wasn't ready to do that yet.

When she'd come to buy the small book, Sirius had half-wrestled with her at the cashier, and they'd finally agreed that he could buy her the ink as a birthday present, while she paid for the book. Though he'd also promised to grant her three wishes which she could ask for at any time, "like in that Muggle story," as he didn't think this was enough of a present.

It wasn't that Bess didn't want him to get her anything, just that she knew he wouldn't come in to his inheritance from his Uncle Alphard until at least his birthday, maybe even as far away as July 1977, and as much as the Potters had taken him in as their second son, she knew that he would have barely any gold at the moment, and she didn't want him to be out of pocket on her behalf. She did, after all, still have a decent amount left from the sale of her parents' house, and she knew she wouldn't need the money beyond the war - if she did make it out alive, she wouldn't be afraid of anything, least of all finding a job.

Opening the journal, she flicked past her notes on Horcruxes and their locations, to the most recent page where she'd written Regulus Black. Frowning, she scratched the side of her face. She knew he was Sirius' brother, and that he'd shoved her, and she knew he was significant in some way, but she just couldn't remember how.

Sighing, she moved on to a new page and began to write down some defensive spells she remembered from her more recent studies.

"I wish I could see what you were writing..." Sirius said quietly. He had turned around and was now on his knees, facing the front of the armchair. He'd placed his elbow on the armrest next to her head and propped his head on his hand, his other arm snaked slowly and gently over her waist, coming to rest at her side. Bess struggled to contain her shiver.

She sighed and placed the book on her chest, turning her face to look up at him. "And that, Master Black, is the entire reason I got this journal. It's nice to have some secrets..." she said, raising her eyebrows and cocking her head slightly.

She just about registered a sharp intake of breath coming from the sofa next to her, before James' voice called out, "Pads, she didn't-"

He was cut off by Sirius, who turned to look at him and shook his head with a laugh, before turning back to Bess.

"What?" She asked, trying to lean up enough to look at James. Sirius pushed her gently back down before she could.

He shook his head and smiled down at her. "I have a- an issue with being called that."

"Issue? Peter jokingly called you it in third year and you almost-" James was cut off again by a now stern look from Sirius.

"But you-" Bess began.

Sirius turned back to Bess and said loudly enough for his friends to hear even though he had his back to them, "there are exceptions to every rule..." before leaning in and rubbing his nose against hers.

"Why?" She asked quietly.

"Why what?"

"Why me?"

Sirius shrugged and rubbed his nose against hers again, before resting his forehead against hers, and whispered "you were dropped in to my world just when I needed you."

Bess frowned up at him as he pulled back and sat on his heels. They stared at each other for a moment longer before he turned around, leaning against the front of her armchair again. Bess turned back to her journal, drowning out the chatter around her.

Beginning to write, she started a new list -

My reasons for fighting:

Save Sirius Black

Later, she would add James, Lily and Remus' names, but as she stared down at the page, she repeated his words in her head - she was dropped in to his world.

Turning back to her page on the Horcruxes, she re-read her notes.

Horcruxes and locations

Diadem - Room of Requirement - not found

Cup - Lestrange Family Vault? - not found

She bit her lip and tapped the feather from her quill against the corner of the page, before a moment of realisation struck and her face relaxed as she turned the quill around and began to add another.

Ring - Gaunt Family Home - Little Whinging? - not found

Staring at the page, she knew that wasn't right. She didn't think it was Whinging... five minutes later she'd remembered, and scratched out the line, adding below it:

Ring - Gaunt Family Shack - Little Hangleton - not found

She closed her eyes and rubbed her forehead with a little groan and a grimace.

"You okay, Bess?" She heard Lily ask. She was sat on the sofa next to James. They'd been talking about her favourite book series, which, curiously, James knew as well.

Bess looked up, frowning in pain. "Mmm... sorry... bit of a headache."

"What're you writing about?" Remus asked quietly.

Bess pursed her lips and looked down at her book. "I'm- it's stupid, but I'm trying to remember things."

"But you're really great at that stuff, you're picking everything up really quickly. I don't think you need to do any studying..."

Bess chuckled and felt the pain ebb away as she stopped thinking about the Horcruxes. "No, I study all the time! It takes a lot of work to be average!"

"You're not average, love." Sirius whispered up at her, and she rolled her eyes at him.

"Anyway, no. I'm trying to remember..." she groaned and rubbed her head again, which began to ache once more.

"You really shouldn't be doing that. Memory charms can't be undone. If you try and remember your past... you could cause irreparable damage..." James said in a worried tone.

"But I-" Bess began.

"No, honestly, whether you want to try or not, it's not worth it." He said firmly.

Bess nodded and turned away, looking back down at her journal. She bit her lip and fell silent, James' words ringing in her ears.

She couldn't work out why she was finding it so difficult to remember where the other two were... she also knew that in 1979 another Horcrux would be made, but she couldn't remember who would steal it from the cave, or what, or who, R.A.B was.

"Love..." Sirius whispered, looking up at her.

"Sorry. I know." She said, tucking her quill in the small book and putting it on her lap, and looking down at him. "I just-"

"I know, but it's not worth it."

Bess nodded and looked at the cover of her book, before closing her eyes, shifting in the seat, and settling so that if her eyes were open she'd be staring at the ceiling. She crossed her arms across her chest and let out a deep breath through her nose.

Five minutes later, her eyes snapped open, and she quietly opened the book before adding one more line.

Diary - Malfoy Manor - not found

As far as she could remember, these were the only four Horcruxes currently. Four definitely seemed a lot more manageable than all seven, but she didn't know if two would even be in their post-First Wizarding War locations at the moment. She was sure that Voldemort would have given the diary to the Malfoys already, but she couldn't tell if the Lestranges had enough rapport with Voldemort yet to be granted the honour of holding the cup for him.

"My eyes do not shine as bright as emeralds." She heard Lily say in an annoyed tone.

Bess groaned inwardly as she turned her head to look at her two friends, who were on the verge of a spat. She couldn't help but meddle. "One day, you'll see what James sees..." she said to her friend, before turning to James and saying, with a teasing smile, "her eyes are beautiful, but honestly, I think they're more the colour of a fresh pickled toad..."

"You go too far..." Lily said, huffing and slumping in her chair. "Fine. James, you can have this one. I think I'd prefer they were like emeralds..."

Can't cover that blush, Bess thought as she smirked at the pair - James, who was now looking particularly happy, and Lily, who was trying to look anywhere but at her sofa mate.

"And your eyes, love-"

"Don't even try it, Black." She said, lying back and closing her eyes again. She heard him bark out a laugh, before he challenged Remus to a game of exploding snap.

xXx

Later that day, Bess was walking to the Great Hall with Lily, her journal in hand.

As they walked down the stairs, Lily turned slightly to Bess and said, "I don't think you should keep writing in that."

"What? Why?" Bess asked, frowning, and pulling the journal closer to her chest.

"I just... Mary had to give you a pain potion last night, and you said you hadn't used one of those since you were in St. Mungos."

"So?"

"So, you're still trying to remember things. You heard what James said."

Bess shook her head. "The headache's gone now though, I'm fine."

"For now!" Lily said as they reached the bottom of the stairs. "Bess, I care about you."

"You don't even know me. No one does, not really. I'm- I don't even-" Bess said, stopping in the middle of the hall and biting the inside of her cheek while staring at a suit of armour in the corner.

"Of course I do! I care about you, Bess, I really do. And I do know you. And you know me. Also, Bess, you're kind an open book anyway..." Lily said, coming to stand next to her.

"Am I?" She asked quietly.

"You tell the girls and me everything - how you're feeling, little tidbits about your day, things you did this year... the only thing you keep private is your relationship with Sirius, and he's more than making up for that. I think everyone knows what he wants, you just have to take one look at the way he can't keep his eyes and hands off you. I think most of the castle's confused why you're not snogging down every corridor."

Bess, whose eyes had filled with tears, finally looked up at Lily. "Maybe I'm an oversharer, but that doesn't mean I'm-" she stopped and looked down, kicking the floor and licking her lips. "There are so many things I can't remember, and so many things I- I just can't- I can't share."

"Bess, you can talk to me."

Bess looked up, furrowing her brow and biting her lip again. "There are still things I can't- I can't talk-"

Bess cut off as a pair of Ravenclaws walked past the duo.

"Look, can I just have a moment to myself? Please?" Bess asked. Seeing the look on Lily's face, she shook her head and bit her lip. "Sorry, it's just- I- I just need a bit of space." She said as she hit her journal against her other hand and walked backwards. "Just like half an hour?"

"I don't think you should-"

"Why? Because Sirius can't keep his eyes off me?" She asked, throwing Lily's words back at her, and raising an eyebrow. "My life doesn't stop when he's not around."

Bess was upset, and just needed to run away - go for a walk, do something stupid, just... something.

"I never said it did. I just- look, I don't think you should be going off on your own right now..."

"Why? What's going to happen? I'll end up in St. Mungo's again?" Bess asked, as she reached the doors. "Half an hour. If I'm not back by one, you can release the search party."

Lily nodded sadly and Bess turned around, walking out of the main doors and in to the grounds.

As she walked down the gravel path, swinging her arms, she thought about what Lily had said. They'd had a bit of an argument, but Bess knew it was only because of the fact that she'd spent the last week writing in a diary and- Christ, she thought, before stopping in her tracks.

Lily was worried that she'd been writing in a diary for almost a week, and becoming more removed from everyone. When had that happened before?

Ginny Weasley.

Except this time, Bess wasn't writing and losing herself to Tom Riddle, she was writing and losing herself in an effort to defeat Lord Voldemort.

She was so lost in her thoughts that she didn't notice someone was following her until it was too late.

She felt something hit her back a split second before she was hoisted in to the air by her ankle. She let out a squeal which was cut off almost instantly as she was hit with another spell, which silenced her.

Bess was scared. More scared than she'd been so far, even when faced with Regulus Black.

Her first instinct, after blind panic, was to hide her diary. She tucked it in to the waistband of her jeans quickly, pretending she was trying to keep her top from falling down.

"Look at the little Mudblood, trying to protect her modesty!" Jeered one of the boys stood in front of her.

There were three of them, and she recognised one - Severus Snape.

She pleaded with him with her eyes, but she knew it wasn't going to work - the only person he would stop this for was Lily, and Bess'd just asked for half an hour's peace. It couldn't have been ten minutes since she'd said that, and they were tucked round the side of the castle. Unless Lily told the boys she'd gone off, it could take hours for her to find her.

Another flash of light, and Bess' eyesight began to fade. She clutched her face as her eyes swelled shut. The conjunctivitis curse, she thought.

She couldn't speak, she couldn't see.

Reaching in to her back pocket, she felt for her wand as she listened to them laugh. She couldn't tell where they were, and if they'd moved from where they'd been standing when she'd last been able to see, then she'd definitely not be able to do anything, but if they'd been stupid... if they'd stayed where they were...

She pulled out her wand and pointed it in the direction of the laughs.

Thinking, and concentrating hard, she thought strongly of Petrificus Totalus, Locomotor Wibbly, Locomotor Mortis, over and over again, trying desperately to turn her wand in an arc so she could get them. She could still hear laughing, and she tried to think of something else to do.

She thought Aqua Eructo, and tried to focus on as much water as possible, like a tidal wave. She could tell it hadn't worked properly from the shouts, but she was clutching at straws.

Next, she tried Depulso, and grimaced as she heard a crunch as one of the boys slammed against the castle wall.

The boy she'd hit must have been the one who'd cast the Levicorpus spell, and she dropped in a heap to the floor.

They must have been dodging her spells or using shield charms, not thinking she'd actually be able to hit one of them.

She still couldn't speak or see, and she felt something hit her again, causing her to double over in pain, feeling as if her right side was on fire.

She didn't know what to do. She could hear what sounded like footfalls racing towards them, and the angry shouts of the remaining two boys in front of her.

She began to move her arms and legs, crab crawling backwards as fast as she could, her wand barely staying in her sweaty palm.

She knew that if the other person was coming to join the boys, she'd be done for.

"Stupefy!" Yelled the deep voice, and Bess winced, expecting the spell to hit her. Instead, nothing happened, and she remained where she had crawled to.

She could hear the remaining boy fighting the newcomer, but in the quickest of flashes, everything fell silent.

"Bess?" Asked the deep voice of Professor Selket. "Bess, can you hear me?"

Bess tried to say "that's just about all I can do," but she was still silenced, so she just pointed to her eyes and mouth.

Slowly, her vision began to come back as her eyes became unstuck, and the first thing she saw were three boys lying sprawled on the grass.

"Will they be okay?" Bess asked quietly.

"You were just attacked, and you're wondering if they'll be okay?" Selket asked in a surprised voice.

"I- I don't know what I was casting..."

"A fair few spells, but not many hit. That depulso was a work of genius, but I'd say you were at a right disadvantage..."

Bess thought back to that morning, when her disadvantage had been Sirius kissing her shoulder. That felt like years ago now.

"Can you stand?" He asked her.

When she nodded, he grabbed her under the elbow and pulled her upright.

"Just my ribs I think."

"Do you mind if I?" He asked, pointing to her side.

Bess shook her head and pulled up her top to reveal a gigantic bruise, stretching across her entire right side.

Selket cast a spell and Bess winced as a cool feeling tricked along the injury.

"It'll take a while to heal but you'll be fine."

"Thank you." Bess said quietly.

The pair, who were still panting from their efforts, faced each other.

"It won't be easy for me... you'll have to bare with me, but... I think you need to be in the classes. You got lucky today. I- I don't want to be the reason why you barely live to see graduation."

Bess simply nodded. She was under no illusions that her skills weren't too great, and she might not make it that far.

"Expelliarmus!" She cried, slapping her palm to her forehead.

"Sorry?" He asked in mild surprise.

"Sorry, I just... I could have just used expelliarmus. I just forgot..."

"Bess... that wouldn't have done anything."

You have no idea, she thought.

"Thank you. For... for letting me come to classes. I'll... I'll stay at the back and-" she said, before being cut off.

"No. You need to be front and center. These kids have years over you. I might have let my feelings, my trauma, get the better of me, but I need to teach you," he said, nodding as if trying to convince himself. "I may not be able to look at you, or have you answer questions, but... I need to teach you."

"Thank you."

Selket nodded and looked at the boys on the floor. "You'd better go. I need to report this to Dumbledore."

"I- can I just go back with you?" She asked, looking around and gulping.

"You're scared of more?" He asked, looking at her from the corner of his eye as he conjured stretchers and, with another flick of his wand, lifted the limp forms of Snape and the two other boys on to them.

Bess nodded and looked down.

"Fine. But I'll leave you at the Entrance Hall."

"Leave me in the Courtyard? Sorry, I just... don't want the whole school knowing."

"They'll find out soon enough." Selket said as they set off across the grass, heading towards the stone courtyard at the top of the hill. "I've heard you have trouble staying uninjured when you're outside..."

"Thank god I didn't take Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures!" Bess replied with a laugh.

She thought she heard Selket chuckle, but when she looked at him again he had a stern look on his face.

When Selket dropped Bess off at the courtyard, she waved a goodbye and sat down on one of the stone benches, trying not to grimace from the pain in her side.

Already alleviated somewhat, the pain was less, but still present when she moved.

She was just building the strength to stand and try and walk back to the common room for a lie down when Lily practically ran out of the doors, followed by Sirius and James.

"I really didn't think you liked those two..." Bess called to Lily, grabbing their attention - they'd been headed in the other direction and hadn't noticed her.

"There you are! Thank goodness! We just saw Selket walking in with Sev-"

"-Snivellus-" interjected James and Sirius, drowning out what Lily said next.

"-ine, yes, Snape. Anyway. I was worried they'd gone for you or something. You okay?" Lily asked, sitting down next to Bess.

"Yeah. Sorry, I should've listened to you. I just..." Bess said, trailing off.

"It's okay. We've all been a bit overbearing I think. Easy to forget you were on your own for months. It must be hard having no freedom, curfews, and us trying to protect you all the time."

Bess smiled at her friend and nudged her with her elbow. "You were right though..."

"About what, love?" Sirius asked as he sat down and flung an arm around Bess' shoulders.

She let out a groan of pain and winced, bringing her left hand to her right side and gripping her knee with her right hand, trying to squeeze something to stop the pain.

"Love... they attacked you?" Sirius asked.

"Looking on the bright side, Selket said I can join our Defence classes..." she managed to groan out.

"Let me see?" Sirius asked, moving to kneel in front of her.

Bess shook her head. "Selket healed it. He said it's just a bad bruise now. Just might take time to heal."

"Still. James and I have experience with bad bruises. Please let me take a look?"

Bess relented and nodded, pulling up her jumper and top. She didn't have time to feel self conscious, she was too busy thinking about the pain.

She heard James gasp, and when she looked up at him, she realised he wasn't just looking at the bruise.

"If- it just-" Bess stammered as Sirius began to poke her bruise with his wand, which was emitting what felt like little electric shocks to her side.

"Sorry love." He said as he continued.

Bess shook her head and smiled at him.

"The scar's just the continuation of the one on my right arm." She finally said, pointing at her arm and then her stomach.

"I'm so sorry." James said, looking incredibly upset.

"You should see my other arm..." Bess joked, but neither Sirius or Lily laughed. Lily stood and wrapped her arms around James' waist, and he pulled her in for a hug. Sirius just tensed his jaw and busied himself with her side.

"You don't seem surprised it's there..." she whispered to Sirius, pointing to the scar across her stomach.

He shook his head and sat back on his heels, pulling her top and jumper back down. Already, the pain had subsided and she could move easier.

"Potions. Do you remember when you gave Remus that chocolate bar? When I'd-"

"Yeah."

"Uh... when you ran in, you stripped off a bit and I was checking you out," Sirius said with a cheeky grin.

Bess raised an eyebrow.

"Come on love, very hard not to... anyway... I saw it when you took off your jumper. Your shirt rode up a bit..."

"I knew you were looking at me!" Bess said, smiling at Sirius, and trying not to shiver under his intense gaze.

"When does he not?" Lily asked with a laugh as she pulled away from James.

James, who looked like he'd won the lottery, smiled at Bess and said, "sorry, I didn't mean to stare."

She shook her head and turned to Sirius and whispered, "should I show him?"

The smile dropped from Sirius' face and his jaw tensed. "Up to you, love, but... James..." he said, biting his lip.

She nodded, and understood that he was trying to say yes, but didn't want to influence her, since it had taken so long for her to show him.

Bess sent James an apologetic look and lifted her left sleeve.

"WHAT THE FUCK?" James roared, staring down at her arm.

"See, that's what I thought your reaction would have been..." she whispered to Sirius.

"I didn't want to freak you out... I went upstairs and punched the shit out of the bathroom."

"That makes so much sense now," James said quietly, rubbing his chin as Sirius jumped up and put a hand on his shoulder.

Bess rolled her sleeve back down.

"Do you... have any more?" Lily asked in a whisper.

"Burn marks on my back but they're healing well. Otherwise no." Bess replied.

Lily gasped and put a hand over her mouth.

"We're fighting. When we leave school, we're fighting." James said with conviction.

Bess thought about the short story about James and Sirius when they were 17, running from police officers and Death Eaters on Sirius' motorcycle.

"It might be sooner than that..." she whispered.

Sirius reached down and took her hands, pulling her to standing and wrapping his arms around her. "I won't let them hurt you again."

"You can't promise that, Sirius. No one can." She whispered in to his chest.

"I can try."

Bess nodded and leaned up to press a kiss to his chin.

Chapter Text

Due to the Slytherin's attack, Bess' three detentions for sneaking out the night before her birthday were deferred for a week. On Monday morning, coincidentally the first day of classes following the week's break, McGonagall had given Bess the new times and dates of her detentions.

Bess thought that getting a week's worth of detentions for sneaking out wasn't fair - the Slytherins who had attacked her had only been handed a month's worth of detentions. However, she had surmised that considering Dumbledore didn't expel Sirius for almost killing Snape by telling him about the Whomping Willow passage, the school wasn't great at appropriate punishments, and her complaints would fall on deaf ears.

Instead, she'd taken the slip of paper with a tense smile and dropped it in to her bag before hurrying off to her first lesson of the day.

"You're sure she said Wednesday, Friday and Saturday?" Sirius asked, frowning and biting his lip.

"Yeah. Why?" Bess asked, absentmindedly, looking down the hallway.

They were waiting outside the Defence Against the Dark Arts classroom for Selket to turn up. It was Bess' first lesson with him and she was a little nervous.

"Nothing. I just... thought maybe... don't worry about it," Sirius said, before sighing and walking back over to his friends.

"You have detention on Wednesday?" Skye asked quietly, looking over at the boys.

"Yeah... why?"

"It's Sirius' birthday," she replied slowly.

"Oh Christ. Of course it is!" Bess said, clapping a hand to her forehead.

"And I'm guessing McGonagall knows that..." Jo added, "why else would she give you Wednesday, Friday and Saturday detentions? Normally she spreads them out over a couple of weeks. She's probably trying to stop any parties..."

"Wait, why can't he have a Saturday evening party?" Mary asked quietly. She, too, was looking over at Sirius and the boys.

"Dunno. Just heard him them talking the other day about keeping the Saturday evening and Sunday free," Jo said.

Full moon again on Sunday. They'll need their rest, Bess thought to herself.

"Tuesday?" Mary asked quietly.

"Nah, I heard the boys have detention already," Skye replied.

"What about Thursday?" Jo asked.

"No... we've got quidditch practice already. James has had the pitch booked for weeks. Practice is like the only thing he won't compromise on." Skye replied.

"Sirius has detention then anyway." Bess added in a low voice, before letting out a breathy laugh. "You know you're all talking like he won't have a party at all of I'm not there?"

Lily tried not to smile. "Bess... I don't think he will."

"What? Of course he will! Me being there or not doesn't change anything," Bess replied, looking at the Defence book in her hand.

"If you believe that..." Lily said, before nudging her on the arm.

Bess was about to reply when Selket opened the door. She hadn't noticed that he was already in the classroom.

As they walked in, Bess saw a new seating chart on the chalkboard. She looked for her place and found that she was next to Lily, and, as promised, at the front of the class.

Once the students had taken their seats, Selket began, barely looking at Bess as his eyes scanned over the students.

"Right. Since I'm sure you've all enjoyed your half term a little too much, I'd like to start off with a little revision. Who can tell me what a Dementor is?"

Bess tried to rein herself in. She needed to not know as much about Dementors as she did.

"No one?" He asked, looking around with a tense expression on his face.

The class was silent. She knew someone must know, especially the boys, but no one answered.

Bess hesitantly raised a hand. Contrary to what he'd told her about not looking at her or talking to her, Selket spared her a passing glance and nodded.

She began slowly, not confident at all in her answer, and simply reeling off the facts as she remembered them from the books. "It's a being which uh- essentially sucks the life and happiness out of an area. They, uh- they guard Azkaban."

Selket, obviously not impressed with her answer, sighed, and asked, "anything else?"

"Uh- yes. Uh- they're giant? They hover above the ground, almost like they're flying? And uh- they have grey, scabby skin, and when they take off their hoods it's just like a hole there. Uh- if they uh- if they perform the Dementor's Kiss, they literally suck the soul out of a person's body, and they uh-" she stopped, not knowing if she should continue. She knew she was rambling.

"Go on." He said, nodding at her.

"When they breed, it's like a fog descends. Uh... and they uh... uh... they..." she pursed her lips in thought for a moment before continuing, "when they're near you, it's like the world goes cold and everything... I guess it's like what Muggles would call a deep deep depression.

"The only spell that can stop them is uh... a patronus charm, the spell is expecto patronum. It produces... should I?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at Selket.

"Yes, go on." He replied, nodding again.

"It produces a silvery smoke which can help the caster protect themselves from the Dementor, because it feeds on that smoke instead. You have to think of a strong memory to cast it. A happy memory works the best.

"It's hard to do, so a lot of wizards and witches have trouble casting it, but if you're powerful, or you practice a lot, you can cast it stronger and stronger, until eventually you might be able to cast a corporeal patronus, where it takes an almost physical form.

"Ooh, you can also use the charm to communicate, so you can send it to another place to send a message."

Selket nodded, his face blank. "Anything else?"

Bess thought this was a trick question, but she continued anyway. "Uh- yes. The patronus can change based on significant events, like falling in love. Say your patronus is originally a cat, but you fall in love with a wolf, it'll change to that."

"Well-" Selket began, before Bess cut him off.

"Also- sorry."

"No, go on." He replied with a nod and a flick of the wrist.

"Also, dark wizards can't perform patronuses." She said, now pointing with her finger at every point she made. "Ooh, and if a boggart were to turn in to one, it would suck the happiness from the room as well... and a cure for the effects of the Dementor is chocolate... ooh, and also, dementors are the embodiment of fear, some might say, so if you fear them, you fear fear itself."

"Well-" Selket began.

"Ooh, and if you're an animagus then you can shift and their powers won't work as well on you."

Selket waited for a moment before nodding, and Bess sank down in her seat, sure that the whole class was looking at her.

"Have you ever met one?" Selket asked slowly.

"No."

He raised an eyebrow. "You know a lot about them."

"Just a bit of night-time reading," she half lied - she obviously knew it all from reading the Harry Potter books, most of which she read in the evenings after school.

"We won't be covering the patronus charm until later this month. Can you cast one already?"

"No. Not yet anyway... well... if I'm honest, I haven't tried."

Selket nodded and looked at her for moment, before continuing, "can anyone tell me what inferi are?"

Again, the class were silent. Bess raised a tentative hand.

"Yes?"

"They're reanimated corpses which are controlled to do a dark wizard's bidding." She said as quickly as she could.

"Anything else?"

Bess gulped. "I, uh- don't know much about them, but I think they can be destroyed using fiendfyre, but that's a really difficult spell to control."

She was thinking about the cave, and hoping against hope that she could track down all of the Horcruxes before Voldemort made and placed his fifth Horcrux there.

Again, Selket nodded. "I won't let you answer any more questions this class, I'm sure you'll know the answers." He turned to the rest of the class, and Bess could feel her hands and armpits were sweaty. "What is the Cruciatus Curse?"

Bess groaned loudly, and she heard Sirius chuckle as Selket looked at her.

"Uh, sorry sir," she said quietly.

"No, no, I believe I'm about to break my own word. Go ahead."

The class continued in much the same way, and Bess felt like Hermione Granger. Remus answered some questions, but she rambled on about more curses and creatures than anyone else. She'd been doing extra reading and learning for months, so knew a lot more than everyone else, it seemed.

By the time the class ended, Selket had even sent Bess a small smile, and had looked at her for more than a split second. She felt incredible.

"I thought you would've known all that..." she whispered to Lily when they left the class, walking towards the library for their free period.

"Some, but not all of it. Everyone's a bit scared though. Selket tore Jo a new one in our second class with him when she only half described a creature, so we've all been avoiding putting our hands up. Well, I'm sure James and Sirius would have no trouble with any of it but they just don't seem to care about the points enough."

Bess nodded and was just about to say something else when they were joined by Remus, Sirius and James.

"You'd be an incredible defence teacher, Bess," Remus said with a kind smile as he tucked his notes in to his bag.

"Coming from you, that's incredible praise!" Bess beamed. "You'll be the best defence teacher Hogwarts has ever seen, I'm sure of it!" She said with conviction.

"Oh, no, I couldn't," Remus said, shaking his head slightly and looking down at the floor.

"Why not?" Bess asked, before mentally slapping herself. She knew exactly why he didn't think he could apply for the job.

"Uh- just... reasons," Remus replied quietly.

"Well if I ever have kids, hopefully we'll still be friends and you can impart some of your wisdom on them," she said, putting a hand on his shoulder and squeezing it gently. He smiled back at her, but she could tell he didn't believe her.

She let her hand fall to her bag strap and sighed. The next second, Sirius wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

"I'd call your first defence lesson a roaring success, wouldn't you, love?"

Bess blushed and replied, "ugh, just got to pretend I know what the hell I'm doing for the rest of the year now..."

She smiled as Sirius grinned at her.

As James passed them, he coughed out a "nerd" and she pouted.

"Want me to protect your honour, love?" Sirius asked with a smirk as he pushed her bottom lip back in.

"Yes please." She replied, grinning as he ran over to James and whacked him around the head.

She heard James say, "not my fault your girlfriend's a nerd. Does she recite counter curses in bed?"

Sirius turned to look over his shoulder at her quickly, and she could tell he was trying to work out if she'd heard what James had said.

When she raised an eyebrow at him, she thought she saw the faintest blush, but he quickly shoved James into the stairwell which headed back to the common room, and jumped after him.

xXx

On Wednesday morning Bess walked in to the Great Hall with Lily, to see that the boys were, for once, early for breakfast.

The hall had been 'decorated' - even the Slytherin table, much to their disgust -overnight with gold, red and black ribbons, banners, streamers and table cloths, and the usual breakfast had been switched for pastries, pancakes, waffles, ice cream and what looked like chocolate tarts. She could see one solitary pile of toast on each table.

Sirius was sat towards the middle of the Gryffindor table, holding court. He'd already removed most of his robes and was clad only in his white shirt and trousers, his tie disgarded by his side. He'd rolled up his sleeves and undone his top button, and was wearing a paper crown. He looked, Bess thought to herself, incredibly attractive.

She tried not to think about the fact that he was now 17, and so one of her reservations about dating him - his age - was no longer a factor, as he was now overage.

She watched as girls and boys of all years called 'happy birthday's to him or handed him small gifts and cards.

"It's always like this. James and Sirius are like royalty..." Lily whispered in Bess' ear.

As they walked up the table, heading to sit with their dorm mates a little way further up the table than the boys, Sirius called over to Bess.

"What did you get me, Bess?"

She thought it was awfully presumptuous of him to assume she'd got him something, even though she had, so she just smiled brightly, reached in to her bag as if searching for a gift, and pulled out her hand, middle finger aloft.

Sirius threw his head back and barked out a loud laugh while James smirked and Remus choked on his orange juice. Peter, who was too busy eating, looked around, trying to work out what he'd missed.

"Oh, you wound me!" He called as she walked past, rolling her eyes.

"Did you get him anything th-" Skye began as Lily and Bess sat down. "What the actual fuck is that?" She continued, looking up as the post had begin to arrive.

Bess, who had already grabbed a croissant, looked round to see seven ducks carrying a large parcel. She bit her lip and made eye contact with Lily, who was already trying not to laugh.

The whole hall watched as the ducks made their way over to Sirius and dumped the package down, splattering the boys with baked goods and liquids.

Bess and Lily began to laugh silently, covering their mouths with their hands, as the bemused boys cleared up the mess with a flick of their wands before turning to the ducks, who were quacking loudly and trying to attack Remus' toast.

Once the boys had finally managed to send the birds on their way, Sirius opened the package, which had been wrapped in gold and red paper. Bess had unknowingly matched Sirius' colour scheme. Though, she thought to herself, that was probably more of an indication that Sirius was a bit predictable.

Bess hated this part of gift giving - while most people loved to see the recipient's reactions, she was always worried she'd done too much or too little. However, when she tried to look away, Lily kicked her under the table and motioned for her to watch.

Which is why, when Sirius opened the present, she saw him pause, before the big goofy smile he seemed to reserve for her came over his face.

She saw Remus, Peter and James shaking their heads and him searching for a card, before he frowned when he didn't find one, and looked up at her, raising an eyebrow. She shrugged quickly and smiled. He grinned widely, jumped up, loped down the hall, leapt over the table, straddled the bench next to her, cupped her face, and kissed her on the cheek, his lips just brushing the corner of her mouth.

Although the whole school knew something was up between the two of them, and although the entirety of the common room had seen them cuddling etcetera, this was the very first time he'd dared to touch or kiss her in front of the entire student body, and Bess could feel her blush rising.

His hands had also been placed at just the right place that Bess was sure it looked like he'd kissed her on the mouth.

He pulled back and said, "Thank you, love. How on earth did you sort this?"

This was also the first time he'd called her "love" in public. His pet name for her had been reserved for when they were alone or with their friends. She could tell he was doing it on purpose, but decided she didn't care about it enough to call him out on it.

Bess rolled her eyes and replied, "Hogsmeade. Before you mentioned James hiding yours, I'll have you know. Thought you could use it during the party on Friday?"

"I'm not-"

"I talked to James yesterday, he's organising the whole thing."

Sirius, smiled at her and rubbed his thumb against her cheek - he hadn't stopped cupping her face in his hands since he'd got to her. "What if I want to spend time with you on Friday? The guys have something planned tonight, and I've got detention tomorrow."

"If you really insist, you can spend an hour with me at my detention and then head off to the party." She said firmly, giving him no leeway.

"Merlin, I-" he stopped himself from saying anything else and kissed her on the cheek and then nose before heading back to his friends. Halfway there, he turned and said "ducks?"

"They wanted fifteen galleons for Golden Snidgets. Ridiculous."

He just laughed and jumped back over the table.

When Bess turned back to her croissant, the girls were all looking at her with raised eyebrows.

"We'll talk about this tonight," Jo said, before realising her mistake. "Oh crap... your detention. Fine. Be prepared the spill the dirt tomorrow after school."

Her detention that night was boring, and very straight forward. She'd been tasked with writing out names and addresses on invitations to the Slug Club Christmas party, and soon enough all of the words blurred in to one. When she finally finished, Lily was waiting for her, having just completed her prefect rounds, and they took the long route back to the dorm.

On Thursday evening Bess managed to avoid having a girls chat by hanging out with Amarella and Grace in the library for the whole of the evening, and returning to the dormitory long after lights out, having completed some extra studying in the common room.

She wasn't looking forward to when they cornered her and she had to finally explain what she and Sirius were classing their relationship as.

xXx

"Can you guys do disillusionment charms?" Bess asked, using her rag to scoop up some more polish.

She was sat cross-legged on the floor with five silver cups in front of her, carrying out her Friday evening detention.

True to his word, Sirius had arrived to spend an hour with her before his party, and was lying in the middle of the trophy room, watching her polish.

He grinned cockily and said "'course. Why, love?"

"Just wondering how you get caught all the time..." she said with a wry smile.

Sirius shrugged and reached his hands behind his head. "It's more fun if there's a chance you'll get caught..."

"So you enjoy detention?" She asked, raising her eyebrows and shaking her hand, trying to stop the ache setting in to her wrist.

"I think this is probably the most enjoyable one I've had in a while..."

Bess scoffed and picked up a spare rag, launching it at his head. "That's because you're not meant to be here, and you're not even doing anything!"

Sirius simply rolled his eyes and pulled out his wand, waving it and instantly cleaning over half of the silver pieces in the room so they shone in the candlelight.

Bess stopped rubbing polish on to the cup in front of her and glared at him, the smile wiping off her face. "I hate you."

Sirius' eyes widened and he held up his hands. "What? Come on! I just cut your detention in half!"

"No! You cheated at my detention, and conveniently forgot to remind me you had your wand on you. Filch took mine, remember? I've been scrubbi-" she stopped mid-sentence and put her fist to her mouth, shaking her head lightly. A second later she put her fist down and said, "you know what? Not worth it," before standing and picking up the cup in front of her, and walking to the cabinet behind her.

Sirius, who had rolled on his side and propped his head in his hand as she spoke, laughed, and said, "you're actually angry aren't you?"

Bess sucked in her cheeks before puffing them out and poking her tongue against the inside of her cheek as she crossed her arms and glared at the cabinet which was now in front of her. "Nope."

"Love..." he said slowly.

Bess could hear the scrape of his shoes against the ground as he stood.

He was wearing a pair of black trousers, an open necked black shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and black shoes. She'd been trying not to check him out all evening.

She shook her head and opened the cabinet, putting the trophy back. "No. It's stupid, I shouldn't be annoyed, so I'm not. Just... don't come over here, and don't talk to me for the rest of the evening," she said, holding up a finger over her shoulder.

"Love..." Sirius said again, drawing out the word.

Bess could hear the smile in his voice, and his shoes gently tapping on the floor as he stalked across the room towards her.

"Sirius, I'm not joking... I'm not talking to you right now." Bess said, turning and walking across the room just as he reached where she had been. She picked up a still dirty Quidditch trophy and moved back to her polishing station on the floor.

"Love..." Sirius tried again, following her around the room.

When Bess reached her spot, she felt Sirius' hand slide on to her hip, his thumb rubbing the exposed flesh from where her t-shirt had ridden up. She wriggled out of his grasp and turned round, walking backwards.

Sirius was still smiling, but something in his intense gaze made Bess forget what she was about to say, and she began dodging out of his grasp whenever he'd reach her.

Squealing, she ran across the room and grabbed another trophy, holding it like a shield. "Go find James or something. He's probably around here somewhere."

"Lo-"

As if on cue, Bess and Sirius heard James' voice saying "Pads? Is it time?"

It completely broke the spell, and Bess pursed her lips and raised her eyebrows as if saying "mhmm".

Sirius groaned and said loudly, looking towards the door and reaching a hand into his pocket. "False alarm, mate."

Bess frowned at the doorway - there was no one there. She walked over and peered out in to the hallway.

"Love..." Sirius said as he slipped his arms around her waist and pulled her back against his chest. "Why're you angry?"

"I'm not..." she said slowly, still frowning at the doorway, before pushing out of his arms and turning around. "How did-"

"Love..."

Bess, who was incredibly confused as to where James' voice had come from, turned to face Sirius again before calling "James?" tentatively.

Nothing happened.

Sirius, who Bess noticed had grimaced slightly, relaxed and smiled, before saying to her "see, he's not here. Must've just been passing-"

Bess pursed her lips. She knew she was missing something, and knew James hadn't been in the corridor outside. "Sirius Black, you call for him right now."

Sirius bit his lip and grinned at her. "No."

Bess rolled her eyes. "I'm so jealous that you lot are able to run around the castle, but if I want even five minutes on my own I'm attacked, or James turns up, or you do... I- actually, how is that fair?"

Her words had started out as playful, but by the time she'd finished, she was frowning deeply.

Sirius moved forwards and rubbed her arms with his hands. "I know. It's not. It's really not. But I want to keep you safe," he said as he pulled her in to his embrace.

"I know," she sighed, bringing her hands up to his chest. "I just..."

"Honesty bubble?" He asked with a side smile.

Bess let out a breathy laugh. "I need to get out. I go for walks to clear my head, to think. It's my... my thing and... I've been cooped up in the castle for so long now. I just... I just want some space from..."

"From what, love?" Sirius asked, pulling her closer to him and nuzzling her cheek.

"Everything," she whispered. "You have no idea how hard it is to be here and not be able to leave. To have someone watching me all the time. And then even when I'm sticking to the letter of the law, you're there to wave your wand and just remind me how shit I am at magic. Or someone's there to wait for me to slip up and punish me for just breathing wrong." Bess finished, biting her lip, as a tear ran down her cheek. "I feel- I- I feel so alone some- sometimes." She sobbed out.

Sirius didn't say anything.

"I'm sorry, you don't need me crying today," Bess whispered, before trying to pull out of his arms.

He tightened his hold in response and pushed her hair over her shoulder before pressing a kiss to the crook of her neck.

Finally, he mumbled in to her neck, "what you're feeling... I know exactly what it's like." Bess nodded against his chest and he shook his head. "No, love, I mean it. I know exactly how you feel. I... I go for... runs. Clears my head."

"That's why you're so fit..." she said, smiling and snaking her arms around his waist, holding her hands together at his back.

"So you have noticed...?" He chuckled, pulling back slightly and rubbing his nose against hers.

Bess tried not to smile and shook her head.

He pulled his face back again and looked down at her, bringing his hand up to her neck and gently rubbing his thumb over her jaw. "Love. I only want to keep you safe."

"I know." Bess said, leaning forwards to place a kiss on his chin.

Sirius smiled and closed his eyes, placing his forehead against hers. "I wish I could kiss you properly right now."

"You can," Bess replied, closing her eyes and tilting her head slightly.

She could feel his breath on her face, his lips almost on her mouth. Suddenly, he stilled.

"Not yet," he whispered.

Bess' eyes snapped open and she pulled her face back so she could look at him.

"Do you trust me?" He asked her. "Completely? Have you forgiven me?".

"I- I- yes."

Sirius smiled sadly and shook his head. "There's still part of you which is worried I'll hurt you again. I don't want any part of you to think that."

"I trust you with my life."

"But not with your whole heart."

Bess frowned and looked down.

"It's fine, love," he said, tilting her head back up. "Even if you did, I'd want to wait. Just a little bit longer."

Bess nodded and put her head in to the crook of his neck.

"You're not even going to ask why?" He asked quietly.

"No. That's your business." Bess said, before kissing his neck and drawing back.

She rubbed her nose against his before giving him a long kiss on the cheek and pulling back to look up at him. "I'm sorry."

Sirius smiled down at her and said, "don't be, love. There are so many things I haven't told you yet."

"I think my secrets are worse," she replied with a small chuckle.

Sirius' jaw clenched. "No. Last year... I went too far with something. But I need to tell you, because I-" he stopped and let out a sharp breath. "Bess... I- I think I'm fall-"

"Pads? What- ah shit. Sorry!"

This time, Bess did laugh. As did Sirius.

James, who had turned around and was facing the hallway, said "sorry, I thought you'd be detention-ing, not canoodling..."

Bess rolled her eyes and pulled away from Sirius, patting him on the cheek and whispering, "go."

"No, love, I'll walk you back."

"I think Filch is meant to be doing that... and you're not meant to be here... now go. I still have an hour and you have a party to attend," she said, raising her eyebrows and pushing him towards the door slightly. "Thanks for the help," she added, pointing to the wand sticking out of his trouser pocket.

"Anytime, love," he grinned, before turning to James and clapping a hand on his shoulder. "Once more unto the breach, dear friend!"

"How do you even know that?" Bess asked, incredibly surprised that he knew a line from Muggle history.

Sirius poked his head back through the doorway and winked at her. "I'll tell you later..." before ducking back out the door and closing it behind him with a click.

Bess sighed and returned to her polishing.

Around twenty minutes later, the door opened again.

"Sirius, really, if Filch catches you, I'll be in trouble too, and you have a birthday party waiting for you, remember?" Bess called out, not even bothering to look up from her polishing.

"Then I would say that it is a good thing I am not Mr Black."

Bess' eyes widened and she turned to look at the doorway.

Chapter Text

"Pr-Professor Dumbledore? What're you doing here?"

Bess was nervous. She hadn't seen Dumbledore in a private setting like this since her Sorting Ceremony, and she could tell that this wasn't a social visit, however nonchalant he seemed.

Dumbledore smiled and walked in to the room. Bess noticed that his hands were clasped behind his back. So like Albus, she thought as she tracked his movements as he strode around the room.

Looking over to her, he said, "I wanted to find out how you're settling in to life at Hogwarts. Though by the sounds of your greeting, I would assume you've made friends?"

He came to stop in front of one of the cabinets of silver cups which Sirius had cleaned with a flick of his wand. He put a finger on one of them and raised an eyebrow.

Bess grimaced. He could, of course, tell that she'd not cleaned them herself. "Yes, sir."

"Have you informed Mr Black of your background?" He asked, moving to the next cabinet.

Bess frowned and looked around. "My-"

He turned to her and asked, with a completely straight face, "that you believe that you are not only a Muggle, but also from another world?"

Bess felt her heart skip a beat. She gulped as she shook her head quickly. "I- er- no."

"Why not?" He asked, raising an eyebrow and staring down at her.

Bess took in a deep breath and said, "uh- not really what I wanted to lead with..."

"And yet you told me during our first conversation," Dumbledore said, looking over his glasses at her.

She didn't know what to say. It sounded absolutely ridiculous when he said it.

"Yes, well I was obviously just a little crazy... probably the pain potions!" She let out a small laugh and scratched her neck.

"Were you? Or was I simply not listening?"

Bess' eyes snapped up to Dumbledore's. "Sir?"

"Professor Selket came to see me earlier this week. He was... interested... as to how you knew such a lot of information about Dementors. It was... curious." He said, looking around the room.

Bess felt the blood rush from her face and she gasped again. "Sir?"

"Well, even I did not know what animagus forms could lessen the effects of Dementors." As he said this, he looked up at her, blue eyes meeting brown.

Oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck.

"Oh," she replied, managing to rein in the swearing.

"He also mentioned a diary." Dumbledore added quietly.

Bess frowned. "Sir?"

"You saved your diary before you protected yourself during an attack last week."

"He was there all along?" Bess asked quietly.

"Professor Selket was... frozen... for a part of the attack. Luckily, he was able to break through and help you." Dumbledore explained.

Bess nodded. She knew how hard it would have been for Selket to intervene, it would have been a triggering experience for him, especially seeing that it was her who was being attacked.

Dumbledore continued, "I have since had time to think about what you said the first time we spoke, and I would like to ask you something."

Bess took a deep breath, focused on not meeting Dumbledore's gaze, and said, "go ahead."

He paused and sat down on a chair in the corner of the room, as Bess stood up, wringing her hands.

Finally, after an age, he asked, "what do you remember from this... other world?"

This is it, she thought to herself.

"I- I remember... that Tom Riddle is Voldemort... for starters."

Dumbledore's gaze wavered for just a moment before he nodded. "Anything else?"

Bess sent him an apologetic look and said, "I- I can't- I don't trust you."

"Why not?"

She whispered, "because I know what you do to win this war."

His eyes widened. "And?"

"And I don't want my friends to die this time." She said, finally saying out loud what she'd known for months.

"So you would rather do this on your own and sacrifice countless lives in the process?" He asked, a hard tone to his voice.

Bess sighed. "No. But I'd... I'd like assurances that you'll do what you can to protect them."

"Who?" He asked, clasping his hands together.

"Uh- I don't want to give specifics at the moment."

Dumbledore frowned. "Interesting... and in return?"

"I can help you end the war." Bess stated, clearly and without hesitation.

Dumbledore stood suddenly and walked forwards to stand in front of her. "How?"

"I'd rather not explain anything tonight. Not here, anyway. I need time to prepare what I'm going to say. It will... change everything."

Dumbledore appraised her for a moment. "I will need proof that you have information, and that you are on our side."

"What proof?"

"I will need you to swear allegiance to the-"

"Order of the Phoenix? Done. As long as they can assist me."

"You-" Dumbledore paused.

"I know... things... about the past and the future. I have large gaps in my knowledge, but I know enough." Bess said, trying to keep her chin up and stay strong.

"I would like you to prove this to me. Please tell me something about myself that no one else knows." He said.

Bess nodded and tried to think about Dumbledore and what she knew of him.

"You made a blood pact with Gellert Grindelwald. That's why you couldn't fight him for years." Bess said quickly.

"That is common knowledge in the right circles."

"He's what you see when you look in the Mirror of Erised. You loved him, and you believed in the Greater Good. Until you realised he was wrong that is."

Dumbledore's eyes widened a fraction, before he controlled his features once more.

"Miss Coulson... I believe this information could have been collected if you'd spoken to the... right people."

"You have the Elder Wand. Gellert stole it from Gregorovich. When Voldemort finds out, he will kill you for it. Or, he already knows, and that's why you're the only wizard he fears." She said quickly.

She felt like she was clutching at straws of information, as she didn't know much about Dumbledore because Harry didn't know much about him either.

Dumbledore paused for a moment, before asking, "what do you know of Tom?"

"I know about his family, what he did to get his special award... and I know how to kill him." Bess added the last in a stronger voice and stood up straighter.

If Dumbledore was at all surprised by this, he didn't show it. "The killing curse would work, surely?"

Bess shook her head. "No... he's... he's made himself immortal."

"How so?"

Bess pursed her lips. She took a deep breath and said, "look, I will tell you. Just not now. I want to defeat him. And I could use your help, but I need some time to get the details together."

Dumbledore nodded slowly. "Why are you doing this?"

"Because I can't lose anyone else."

Dumbledore nodded again. "I am inclined to believe you this time, Miss Coulson, though I will need to verify everything you tell me. What are your terms? Other than protecting your friends?"

"My terms? I-I'll tell you willingly. I- I guess... I don't want to be sidelined. Don't lie to me... I know a very specific timeline so we can't deviate too much from that... and... we need to destroy them before 1979."

"Two years?" Dumbledore asked, narrowing his eyes.

"Yes."

"You said them?"

Bess didn't reply. She was staring at the wizard's nose, making sure that she wasn't looking in to his eyes. "I need... I need time."

"Tomorrow then. Your detention will be cancelled. Please report to my office at seven o'clock." He said, as he walked to the door.

"Professor?" Bess called after him.

He turned around and raised an eyebrow.

"Why do you believe me now?"

"Because, Miss Coulson, you know things I have never shared with anyone, not even my closest friend, or greatest enemy. And, rather than use them against me, you are offering to help end this war. When we met in St. Mungo's, you were a child whose memories were altered. Now, you are an adult with something to fight for."

With that, he turned on his heels and walked out of the door.

Bess sat in silence for the remaining half an hour of her detention, going over the conversation in her head and planning her chat with Dumbledore the next day.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Filch, who gave her back her wand with a grumble and silently walked her to the seventh floor corridor.

As they arrived at the corridor, Remus came in to view, standing by the portrait hole. He looked exhausted, with large bags under his eyes. Filch glared at him before turning and walking back down the stairs.

Bess sent Remus a questioning look, and he smiled at her.

"Sirius asked if one of us could wait outside to make sure you got back okay. Doesn't even trust Filch... The party's been... well publicised, so I think he's worried."

Bess rolled her eyes dramatically. The sick feeling that had settled in her stomach when Dumbledore had arrived eased somewhat from seeing her friend.

Remus laughed and turned to the portrait of the Fat Lady, saying, "bumbling bridges."

The portrait hole swung open to reveal a roaring party. The noise was almost deafening.

"Jesus Christ!" Bess exclaimed.

"Hence why I volunteered to come and get you," Remus replied with a grimace, "you do get used to it..."

"Can we just go back and pretend I'm still polishing?" Bess asked, laughing, her hands over her ears as she adjusted to the sound level.

"Unfortunately not!" Remus shouted, before pointing over at Sirius, who was on the other side of the room, standing on top of a table swigging from a bottle and waving his arms as if conducting an orchestra.

"I need to change!" She shouted back, gesturing to the entrance to the dormitories. When he nodded and signalled that he'd see her later, she pushed through the crowd which, she realised, was full of Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw fifth, sixth and seventh years as well as the usual Gryffindor crowd.

When she finally made it back to her dorm, she sat on her bed for a moment and took a deep breath.

Tomorrow morning, she'd have to talk to Dumbledore about everything. He'd perhaps partially understood that she was trying to help, but she wondered if he would ever trust her. Or if she'd ever trust him.

Just as she was contemplating rolling on to her bed and falling asleep rather than going downstairs, the door banged open and her dorm mates practically fell in to the room.

They were all in various states of tipsiness, and Bess plastered a smile on her face, trying to feign excitement for the evening.

In truth, when they sat around her, she did feel relief and happiness - she needed the distraction from her thoughts, and she needed company.

"Well? What're you wearing?" Skye practically shouted at Bess.

Bess jumped up with a grin and walked to her trunk. "I've got some Muggle clothes..." she said, looking at the girls' outfits which ranged from Muggle dresses to dress robes.

"You have to look goooooood," Jo added, elongating the last word, winking, and swirling her drink around in her glass.

As Jo tried to take a sip, Skye grabbed the cup and drained it, and the girls roared with laughter.

Bess had noticed that all of the guests at the party had dressed up in going out clothes, so she pulled out her more disco appropriate outfit and ran to the toilet to change. As she dodged past her, Lily handed Bess a rather large glass of firewhiskey and pumpkin juice.

Closing the door to the bathroom, she felt panic rising in her chest and head. She felt worried, as if she knew she shouldn't be at a party, especially not now.

But, taking a deep breath, she thought about the fact that Sirius would be there. And what was that quote from the books again? she asked herself, something about war and... a wedding?

Bess frowned. She couldn't remember. It was on the tip of her tongue, but she just couldn't get it.

As she stood in the bathroom, leaning against the door, she wondered if she should feign illness and refuse to go downstairs, but after a moment she shook her head. This was Sirius' night, and a chance for her to let loose and create happy memories.

And she'd need those in the months and years to come.

Taking in a deep breath, she moved to stand in front of the mirror, laid out her make up in front of her, and began to get changed.

Ten minutes later, Bess could hear the girls cat calling outside the bathroom door, waiting for her to come out. She drained the rest of her goblet and took one last look in the mirror.

She was dressed in a long sleeved gold sequin playsuit which showed off just a little cleavage and a lot of leg. Her straightened hair was up in a high ponytail, and she'd swiped on some eyeshadow, eyeliner, mascara, blusher, bronzer, and red lipstick.

She was debating going shoeless when she heard a tap at the door, and Lily called, "if you don't come out in one minute, I'll come in there -hic-"

Bess tried not to laugh, and opened the door slowly, making sure Lily wasn't leaning against it. Stepping out of the bathroom, she gave a little twirl and put her hands on her hips.

If she'd been at all apprehensive about her look, the girls' reactions steadied her resolve.

They chucked her a pair of black slightly heeled ankle boots and, after she put them on, practically pushed her down the stairs, gushing about her look.

When they burst through the door to the common room, the group split in two - Skye, Solstice and Jo went to see Skye's quidditch teammates, while Mary, Lily and Bess headed for the drinks table by the dance floor.

Bess tried not to think about what happened last time she was at this particular station.

"Evans! You're back! And might I say, you look even more ravishing than you did twenty minutes ago," James said, walking up behind Lily and grinning down at her.

Lily rolled her eyes, but didn't tell him to get lost, which both Bess and James took as a good sign.

"Lily would like to thank you for your astute observation, and invite you to compliment her on a biweekly basis," Bess said with a grin, emulating the speech patterns the boys had used on the marauders' map to insult Snape.

James' eyes widened a touch before he shook his head and smiled at Lily. "That can be arranged!" He said loudly, before asking "drinks, ladies?"

While James fixed the three ladies some drinks, and Lily confirmed they'd be made "with alcohol!", Bess looked around at the party. She couldn't believe any part of Sirius would have sacrificed this to spend time with her instead.

"Love, I thought you were beautiful an hour ago..." Sirius whispered in her ear, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her back to his chest. In his other hand he was holding a cup of mead, and she could tell it wasn't his first, or even second drink of the past hour and a half.

Bess giggled, already feeling the effects of the drink Lily had given her, and noticed that Remus and Peter had also joined the little group. Remus was grinning at both of his friends knowingly - Sirius with Bess, and James with Lily - while Peter was trying to watch James making the drinks.

"Now Sirius, honey," Bess said loudly, inwardly grimacing as she drunkenly used a pet name for the first time, "I'm standing near Lily, but we're just friends. No need to snog James, 'kay?" She asked, turning her head to the side to place a kiss on his cheek while reaching up a hand pat his other cheek condescendingly.

"Oh-ho!" Remus cried as the group laughed.

Sirius playfully bit the air in front of her face, before leaning in to kiss her cheek when she laughed.

"No need to worry about that, love, I'm not taking my eyes off you this evening," he whispered in to her ear, causing her to shudder.

"You're not even going to pee?" Bess asked, cocking her head to the side and frowning playfully.

He looked away from her as if thinking.

Before he could say anything, she said "and you've already broken your promise. This is why people have issues..." she trailed off, nodding enthusiastically while smiling with her eyes at him and biting her lip.

Sirius' eyes flickered to her lips before he grinned and said "I fucking love-"

But he was cut off by James, who cried "here!" and Bess turned to take a drink from him, instantly forgetting that Sirius had been about to say something.

"Tell me a Muggle joke!" James shouted at Lily.

The redhead raised an eyebrow and swayed. "You can't just put me on the spot! Anyway, Bess probably knows more than I do!"

Bess took the challenge. "Hey James? Why did the chicken cross the road?"

He shrugged.

"So he could get to the idiot's house!"

Remus smirked, but no one laughed. James stared at her and frowned, before looking at Sirius and then back at her. "Look, I know you're great and all, and you're Sirius' hoops, but that just wasn't funny, Bess."

Bess frowned and swayed slightly. "Okay... try again... knock knock."

"Who's there?" James asked, rolling his eyes.

"The chicken."

Bess grinned as the boys laughed, and Sirius pulled her back in to him and kissed her on the cheek as he chuckled.

Lily, who took a second to get the joke, snorted and spluttered her drink all over James' white t-shirt. "Oh my god I'm so sorry!" she cried, trying to pat the stain out of his top.

"How long do you think it'll take her to remember she's a witch and can just magic that out?" Remus asked loudly, standing next to Bess and Sirius, who were trying not to laugh.

After a while, the boys traipsed off to, in James and Sirius' case, get James a change of t-shirt as no one trusted themselves to cast complicated spells whilst drunk, and in Remus' case, go to bed. Peter, after realising everyone else had gone, stared at the girls before running off after the boys.

Bess danced and chatted to her friends for over an hour before Sirius found her again and dragged her off to a dark corner of the room for a cuddle.

Both now quite drunk, they were leaning up against the wall, Sirius' hands on her waist, Bess' hands on his shoulders, as he whispered sweet nothings to her.

Bess was very much enjoying not thinking about anything but Sirius. Not horcruxes, not Voldemort, not war, just being there in his arms. She had even forgotten about having to meet Dumbledore in the morning.

"I love your laugh." He whispered in her ear and she giggled, her brain fuzzy from the alcohol. "I love your eyes. I love your brain. I love your sense of humour." He said, breaking to kiss her on the cheek with every new sentence.

"My brain?" She asked, laughing.

"It makes you, you," he whispered, kissing her neck sloppily.

"I love all those things about you too!" She said, pulling his face up and planting a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

They stared into each other's eyes for a few moments, before Sirius spoke again, the smile dropping from his face, being replaced by an apprehensive look.

"I need to tell you something." He said.

Bess nodded and cuddled in to him, putting her face in the crook of his neck as he wrapped his arms around her.

"I- uh- I-"

"Bess!"

Bess turned to face Skye and heard Sirius say "oh for fucks sake."

Bess laughed and sent him an apologetic look as she was pulled away.

The party ended soon after, and Bess stumbled up to her bed, not even bothering to change.

xXx

Bess awoke the next morning to a dull throbbing in her head, a nauseous feeling in her belly, and a numb, furry feeling in her mouth.

She grimaced and groaned as she pushed herself up, gasping when she saw the time.

She showered, dressed, brushed her teeth, and grabbed her diary, before running downstairs.

"Morning..." called James from his seat by the fire. He didn't look like he'd gone to bed, but was surprisingly chipper, as were Sirius and Remus. She didn't stop to worry about Peter.

"Detention!" She shouted in reply.

She registered their laughs as she exited the portrait hole, but didn't have time to stop and chat.

As she ran through the hallways she thought of what she'd say, but knew she wasn't prepared enough. The previous night had become a blur of music, dancing and Sirius.

Finally, she came to the stone gargoyle. She felt incredibly stupid, and incredibly unprepared for the meeting.

She wondered what on earth she was going to do or say.

"Miss Coulson?"

Bess turned to see Professor McGonagall standing down the hall in her dressing gown, a confused look on her face.

Fifteen minutes later, Bess returned to the common room.

Sirius, who was still sitting in his armchair, beckoned her over and pulled her in to his arms. She nodded at the other two boys before she buried her face in Sirius' neck.

"Oh, love. I wondered how long it would take you to work out they don't do early morning detentions here..." Sirius said, and she could hear the smirk in his voice. "You know, it's criminal how good you smell after getting so drunk..." He whispered so only she could hear, before dropping a kiss to the top of her head.

Bess snuggled closer. She heard him sigh as his arms tightened around her and he pressed another kiss to the top of her head.

"Have you lot slept?" Bess mumbled, already falling asleep.

She felt the rumble in Sirius' chest as he replied. "Nah. Remus did, but he's a lightweight."

"I might go upstairs..." she replied with a large yawn.

Before she could even try to get up, she felt him nuzzle the top of her head and whisper, "sleep, love. I've got you."

Bess began to fall asleep to the rhythmic sound of Sirius' breathing and the idle chitter chatter of the three boys.

"All I'm saying is, it's not fair. I've been after Lily for years and your girl drops from the sky and-"

Chapter Text

Bess woke up just under an hour later to Sirius gently rubbing his thumb over her cheek, kissing her nose, and whispering to her that he needed to go.

"Sorry," she said as she yawned and rubbed her eyes.

She noticed that there still weren't many students awake, and was glad that not many people would have seen her sleeping.

Sirius smiled down at her, rubbed the outside of her thigh with his hand, and said, "no, I'm sorry, love. Just-"

"Did I drool on you?" Bess asked as she wiped her mouth and grimaced. She was, in that moment, incredibly happy that he was still wearing his black shirt from last night.

He chuckled and said, "yeah... it's fine though, it was kind of cute."

"Cute? Oh Christ. I didn't snore did I?" She asked with wide eyes and a pleading expression. She knew she didn't sleep like a goddess, but she'd been hoping she'd at least act kind of cool around Sirius.

He rubbed his nose with hers and said, "yeah, again, cute," with an indescribable look on his face.

"Oh god." Bess whined, rubbing her hands over her face.

Sirius grinned down at her for a while until James coughed loudly, and Sirius shook his head, as if clearing his mind.

"Ah yeah. Sorry," he said to James and Remus, before turning back to Bess. "Uh- love? Remus' Mum isn't too well so he's going home in a few hours. James and I are just going to get some kip so we can see him off."

Bess nodded, pushed his arms to the side and stood up.

"If the girls ask, could you let them know where Remus is this weekend?" Sirius asked, as he put his hand on Bess' back to steady her as she arched her back and stretched.

Bess was so disorientated that she forgot completely that the full moon was that night, and that Remus would be becoming a werewolf until the next morning. She would later wonder if his transformations felt worse in winter, when the nights were longer.

Her eyes widened and she moved to sit next to Remus on the sofa. "Oh god, Remus! Is she okay? I'm so sorry. I didn't even think to ask... and here I am, getting drunk when we could have been-"

Remus cut her off and smiled at her before looking down anxiously. "Don't worry. I only just... I only just got the letter."

"Is there anything I can do?" She asked slowly.

As she looked at his face, she finally remembered. She grimaced inwardly, but otherwise tried not to react.

"No. It happens a lot. But uh- she'll be fine, I'm sure." He said, nodding slowly, still not meeting her eye.

She nodded and put her hand on Remus'. "If there is anything, let me know?"

His gaze moved from the floor to her hand and he nodded before whispering, "thanks Bess."

"Okay. I have some chocolate upstairs if you'd like it? I find people sometimes forget to care for the carers." She said as she moved her hand back to her own lap.

Remus smiled again and shook his head. "That's alright, I stocked up in Hogsmeade. Thanks though."

Sirius, who had watched the exchange from his armchair, stood and pulled Bess up off the sofa. As he wrapped his arms around her, he chuckled. "You're too nice, love."

"I am a Hufflepuff..." she replied. Her eyes widened slightly. She hadn't meant to say that but couldn't stop herself. She still didn't know if she should ever mention that she chose Gryffindor over Hufflepuff, especially not now - would Sirius think she'd been following him?

Luckily, Sirius barked out a laugh and squeezed her slightly before pulling back to press a kiss to her forehead. "I'd love to spend time with you this weekend, love, but tonight, the guys and I are-"

"Honestly? I don't want to know what mischief you'll be up to!" She said, giving him a look, "I have a detention tonight anyway, so I'll see you tomorrow?" She asked, stopping him from having to make up an excuse.

He nodded and Bess raised an eyebrow as she pulled out of his embrace and turned to James. "Please don't do anything stupid, and most importantly, don't get yourselves killed," she laughed out as she began to walk over to the dormitory stairs.

She heard Remus wince, but Sirius called after her, "can't promise that, love!"

She turned and dramatically rolled her eyes, walking backwards, before blowing him a kiss and turning back to the door.

xXx

After telling the girls that Remus wouldn't be around until Monday, Bess spent the rest of the day in her dorm room, only leaving for meals.

She'd told the girls she had something personal she needed to do, and had closed her curtains around her bed to ensure her privacy.

She spent the time reading through her notebook and trying to remember things. There were so many gaps in her knowledge and she felt like she was letting everyone down by not knowing every little detail that could help the war effort.

She kept trying and trying, pushing and pushing herself, until she hit a snag... She was trying to remember who in their year became Death Eaters when she felt an indescribable pain surge through her head.

The pain pulsed and grew until she could barely see. She wanted to scream, but she didn't know how to explain what she'd been doing to her dorm mates. Lily, especially, would be incredibly angry with her. She'd told the redhead that she'd stopped trying to push past her mental blocks.

So instead, she cast a quick silencio on herself. It was just in time, as a moment later Bess began to scream, the pain in her head overtaking everything else.

She could barely see through the pain, it felt like her entire body was on fire.

She clutched her head and screwed her eyes shut, trying to focus on her breathing.

Just when she thought the pain would never stop, it did. As quickly as it had come, the pain left her.

She panted from the exertion of it all. She could feel the sweat dripping down her neck. When she raised her hand to her hair, it felt slick with moisture.

James' words repeated in her head. "If you try and remember your past... you could cause irreparable damage."

But that doesn't make any sense! How can I remember some things, but- Bess thought. Oh. The memories can flow and be triggered naturally. But I can't push them or I'll hurt myself.

This will definitely complicate things.

By the time her breathing was under control, she'd taken the silencing charm off herself, and she'd pulled back the curtains around her bed, it was already five o'clock.

She groaned as she realised that she would have to miss dinner if she wanted to have a shower and get everything ready in time for her meeting with Dumbledore.

Sighing deeply, she placed the heel of her hand against her forehead and stumbled to the bathroom before showering, getting dressed, downing her remaining pain potion, and walking purposefully towards the Room of Requirement.

xXx

As she stood outside Dumbledore's office at seven o'clock that night, Bess didn't know what to expect. Her heart was racing and she felt nauseous, but she walked up the stone steps and knocked on the large wooden door anyway.

Gulping as it swung open and revealed the large, round office, she stepped inside and walked slowly towards Dumbledore's desk.

The older wizard was sitting down, writing at his desk, and didn't look up as he said, "Miss Coulson. Please take a seat."

Bess remembered how busy he was in the books, so she just sat down and used the time to look around his office again.

As she did, she accidentally made eye contact with Professor Phineas Nigellus Black's portrait. She regretted her decision instantly, but she felt like she couldn't look away.

She recognised some of his features in Sirius – the dark hair, his nose… but differences – his eyes were dark where Sirius' were light, and, even removing his facial hair, his face shape was different.

Sirius and Phineas both shared aristocratic features, but on Sirius they were enchanting, striking, handsome. On Phineas they were sneaky, with an air of him being above everyone else. No. Above her.

If she'd forgotten his blood purist views before, she certainly didn't after she recognised the look he was giving her - she'd seen the same look on Regulus. Interestingly, she realised that Regulus and Phineas bore the more striking resemblance.

Her eyes widened slightly and her breathing increased as she realised this. She thought back to meeting Regulus, and felt fearful. She hoped Phineas and her conversation, if they had one, would kinder than the one she'd had with Sirius' little brother.

Though, she thought, at least he won't be able to physically attack me.

She watched as Phineas sat forwards in his chair, trying to get a better look at her.

After a moment he frowned, sat back in his chair and chuckled humourlessly. He clasped his hands together and said "so you are the witch who has enchanted my worthless great-great-grandson. I can't say I'm impressed."

Bess didn't reply, but blinked furiously, clenched her jaw, and held her head up slightly. She knew it would just make him talk more, but she had more important things to think about or do other than getting riled up by a racist portrait.

Phineas continued, "it is true, he has a… rebellious… side, but if you think for a moment that he would allow the lineage of The Ancient and Noble House of Black to be tainted by a Mudbloo-"

"That is enough, Phineas," Dumbledore said, quietly but sternly, stopping Phineas in his tracks.

Bess watched as Phineas pursed his lips angrily as he stared down at her.

"If he's so worthless, why do you care what... or who... he does?" Bess asked slowly, glaring at the portrait. A second later she had a moment of realisation and asked, "do you have another portrait?"

She quickly stood and walked towards where his picture was hung.

Phineas watched her approach until she stopped in front of him. "I do."

"Where is it?" She asked quietly, cocking her head to the side.

Bess knew there was something she was missing, but she couldn't remember what it was. She knew Phineas, so she knew he was important, but she didn't know how.

Phineas was silent for a moment as he appraised her. "I do not need to answer your questions."

"But you expect me to answer yours?"

She was angry. She knew she needed to know this information, but she couldn't force it - she needed him to tell her, or she'd have a blank spot in her memory with his name on it. She couldn't explain why, but something seemed important. She needed to know what she was missing.

Phineas appraised her for another moment before he rose to her challenge. "I do not bargain with Mud-"

"Phineas." Came Dumbledore's voice again. "You will not speak of Miss Coulson in that manner."

Phineas looked as though he wanted to argue, but he was too preoccupied. "Fine. As you wish Dumbledore," he said quietly, though he hadn't taken his eyes off Bess. "I do not bargain."

Bess narrowed her eyes and said, "tell me where your other portrait is."

She was expecting Phineas to glare at her, but he didn't move or say anything.

"Phineas." Dumbledore said.

Bess almost jumped – he'd come to stand behind her at some point, but she didn't know when. "Please let Miss Coulson know where your other portrait hangs."

Phineas rolled his eyes and pursed his lips. It took a minute, but finally he spoke again. "At my ancestral family home. 12-"

"-Grimmauld Place," Bess whispered. "Oh my god." Turning to Dumbledore, she said, "we need to cover his portrait. Or something. He can't know anything I'm going to tell you."

"Miss Coulson… I can assure you-" Dumbledore began, but Bess cut him off, raising a hand.

"No." She said through clenched teeth. "He may serve the Headmaster of Hogwarts, but his true allegiance lies with his family. At least for now. How else would he know who I am?"

"The walls have eyes," Phineas said.

"Yes. And ears." Bess said, looking quickly at the portrait before turning back to Dumbledore. "Please Professor. I can't trust him. Not yet."

"Al-" Phineas began, before Dumbledore pointed his wand at the portrait and a blindfold wrapped around his eyes and a pair of large mufflers appeared over his ears.

"This is rather unorthodox, Albus, even for you!" She heard a woman cry, and looked up to see a middle-aged witch leaning out of her chair, staring at the pair.

"Elladora." Dumbledore warned with a look, before he gestured towards the seat Bess had vacated, "Miss Coulson, please sit. It seems we have a lot to discuss."

Bess nodded and walked back over to the chair. She didn't want to sit, though, she wanted to pace. So instead of sitting down, she put her hands on the back of the chair and gripped it tightly.

"Bess… may I call you Bess?" Dumbledore asked as he sat down in his chair and put his hands together.

Bess nodded. "Of course."

"Bess. Has Mr Black told you about his home life?"

Bess gulped and blinked. "No."

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow but simply nodded. "Where shall we begin?"

Bess frowned and looked down at her hands. She knew she shouldn't just go straight in to it, but at the same time, she didn't know where else to start. And this time, Dumbledore would be no help in filling in the blanks.

She reached round to her back and pulled her notebook from where she'd tucked it in to the waistband of her skinny jeans. She raised it up and shook it gently.

"I- I've written everything I can remember in here."

Dumbledore nodded and reached his hand out. Bess shook her head slightly and returned it to her back, sliding it in to her waistband.

"I'm sorry, but I can't let you read it. Not yet. I showed you so that you know that if anything happens to me, there's a back up. Instead, right now, I would like to tell you only what you need to know."

"Bess..." Dumbledore began.

Bess shook her head again. "I can't tell you everything in here. I even... I even have your death day in here."

Dumbledore pulled back his hand and put it to his mouth.

"How can you assure me that what you speak is the truth?" Dumbledore asked slowly.

"I think I should start with a pretty sucky truth... Voldemort has created Horcruxes, and I know where they are." Bess said firmly.

Dumbledore's eyes widened and he stood swiftly, walking around the table to stand in front of her. "If you won't let me see the diary, how can I believe you?"

Bess gulped. "Because there's one in the castle right now. And the only thing stopping me from getting rid of it is the fact that I can't destroy it. I- I don't know how to cast fiendfyre, I haven't killed the basilisk in the Chamber of Secrets yet, and I don't know if the killing curse would work on an inanimate Horcrux."

"An inanimate one? How do you know all of this?" He asked her quietly.

Bess took a deep breath and reached in to her back pocket. As she did she tried not to smile as she remembered a conversation she'd had with Sirius over the half term week.

"-they're so small! There's no way I can keep my wand in them!" She'd giggled, dodging out of Sirius' embrace.

Sirius had chuckled and looped his fingers in to Bess' belt loops, pulling her roughly forwards, so their chests slammed together and her hands had gripped his biceps to steady herself.

As he'd grinned down at her, he'd moved one of his hands to her back and slipped his hand in to the back pocket of her new skinny jeans.

Bess had pursed her lips to stop herself from smiling and looked up at him through her eyelashes.

"See?" She'd asked, as she'd brought her hand round to rest over his. "Can't even fit a whole hand in there, let alone a wand."

He'd bitten his lip and stared down at her as he'd pulled his hand back slowly, bringing it to rest on her hip instead.

"Turn around." He'd whispered.

"Sirius..."

"Turn. Around." He'd whispered again, raising his eyebrows.

She'd rolled her eyes and turned around as she pulled her hair over one shoulder.

"Capacious extremis," he'd whispered behind her, and she'd seen a flash of light.

"An extension charm? That's advanced magic... I thought you weren't allowed to-"

"Everyone loves a rebel..." He'd replied, as she'd turned her head to the side to look up at him.

From her enlarged back pocket, Bess removed a silver tiara, which she handed to Dumbledore.

She watched as he read the inscription - "wit beyond measure is man's greatest treasure".

"This..." Dumbledore whispered, before looking up at her. "Where?"

"It was in the Room of Requirement. Tom put it there when he came to talk to you about a teaching position years ago."

Bess could see Dumbledore's grip on the diadem strengthen, his knuckles turning white. But this was the only indication she had that he felt anything other than calm.

Finally, Dumbledore nodded. "I will listen to what you have to say."

Bess was incredibly thankful that she'd decided to go and find the Horcrux before their meeting. She'd gone in to the room and searched for the bust of the warlock, near the vanishing cabinet. She was grateful that both Voldemort and Harry had such... terrible hiding places.

"You might want to sit back down again?" She offered. She watched as he walked back to his chair and sat back in it, placing the diadem on the table in front of him, before she continued. "Now this is going to sound crazy, but the world I come from… there's a series of books about a boy named Harry…"

By the time Bess had explained about Tom Riddle's history, his time at Hogwarts, Horcruxes, and that she knew definitely where two of them were, Dumbledore had placed his head in his hands.

When she finished, he slowly raised his face and stared at her with almost unseeing eyes.

Finally, minutes after she'd stopped talking, he spoke. "I cannot-"

"But Professor!" Bess cried. She knew she needed to get him to see the truth. She needed him to understand that what she was saying was true.

He raised a hand to silence her, and used his other rub his chin before he spoke again. "No. Miss Coulson. I do believe you. However, I cannot fathom that such an object has been hidden within the halls of this school for so many years without my knowledge.

"I have been... careless... to dismiss you." He finished, looking up at her.

Bess agreed, but she didn't want to say "I told you so," so she just didn't say anything. Instead, after almost two and a half hours of standing, she sank in to the chair opposite Dumbledore.

After a moment, he asked, "are you sure that there are only four?"

Bess nodded. "Yes. In nineteen-seventy-nine, he'll create and hide another one."

Dumbledore's eyes snapped up to meet hers again. "What?"

"It's his intention to make seven of these."

"Seven? Merlin." Dumbledore said, rubbing his hand over his face. "I will need to formulate a plan before we can find the others." He sighed and sat back in his seat again, bringing his hands together in front of him.

"Thank you sir. I... I honestly wasn't sure where to start. I only managed to get this one out because the boys finally left me alone tonight," Bess said, sighing and putting her head in her hands.

She thought about how lucky she'd been that they had probably been too busy preparing to join Remus in the Shrieking Shack to notice her vanishing from the map for an hour as she'd searched for the diadem.

"You were going to do this on your own?" He asked quietly.

"Yes." Bess replied, looking up at him, propping her elbows on her thighs, and resting her chin on her fists.

"Why?"

"Like I said, I don't want my friends to die this time."

"Do all of them perish?" He asked quietly.

Bess frowned and pursed her lips. She didn't know how to reply. The Gryffindor girls were her friends as well, but she didn't know if they would survive the war or not.

Silence filled the room for minutes before Dumbledore spoke again. "Do you think this is fair?"

Bess frowned and looked up to the wizard. "What?"

"Lying to your friends. To Mr Black. I am assuming that you have not informed them of your true background? Nor the fact that you are willing to sacrifice yourself for them?"

Bess took a deep breath, wondering where he was going with this. "No. I don't… think it's fair, that is. But what am I meant to do? I made a decision a long time ago to not tell anyone about this, and…"

"And yet here we are."

"I didn't see myself getting so... attached. I thought it would just be acquaintances… friends maybe. I didn't know how hard it would be. But you're right. If I'd done this on my own I'm sure I would have died in the attempt to get all four. Which is why, when you finally approached me, I jumped at the chance to become a partnership," Bess answered truthfully.

Dumbledore nodded and said, "I think you arrived at this school prepared for hardship. It was the lack of it which lulled you in to a false sense of security."

Tears filled Bess' eyes. She felt like she was being told off for forming attachments. "I- Professor."

"I think that it would be best if you were to severe your friendships until we have destroyed the Horcruxes. It will not be safe for any one. If he found out what you were doing..."

Bess nodded. She understood what he meant – she thought of Harry, and what he'd done to protect Ginny.

He continued, "I know that you've been careful, but imagine if you reference something which you should not know yet."

"Like with the Dementors?" Bess asked in a whisper.

Dumbledore nodded.

Bess thought again about Ginny and Harry. But Harry had Hermione and Ron as he tracked down the Horcruxes. At the very least, he had Hermione.

She took a moment, thoughts running through her head as she put a hand on her stomach and gripped the chair arm with her other. She felt sick at the idea of not being around Sirius. The others as well, but she needed to be with Sirius. It was something she'd never felt before.

She raised her eyes and looked at the wizard in front of her. A tear fell down her cheek as she whispered, "I can't, Professor."

"Why not?"

"Because… Sirius. I- I liked him before, when I… when I knew him from the books. It's hard not to... feel for him..." to grieve his death, she added silently, "but meeting him… spending time with him?" Bess looked down at her lap. "I- I'm not strong enough to give him up."

"You love him." Dumbledore said, and it reminded Bess of when he'd asked Snape if he still loved Lily.

Bess nodded and wiped away her tears as she sniffled.

"Does he know?"

She shook her head and sat back in her chair, resting her elbows over the arms. "I don't think he feels the same way. But… I can't- he's- I can't-"

Dumbledore looked at her for over a minute before he spoke again. "I do not think you should reveal any of this information to your friends. However, if you insist on continuing to study here and continuing your relationships, then perhaps…"

"Perhaps?" Bess asked, looking up again.

Dumbledore drew in a quick breath. "Do you remember what I theorised when you first tried to explain everything to me?"

"Yes," Bess nodded, frowning and narrowing her eyes. "You- you think I should tell them that I think I'm… that I had a… a mental break?"

"I wouldn't go that far… but yes. I believe that you should find a time to inform them that you were in a traumatic event, and that some of your memories were..." Dumbledore said, before trailing off and waving his hand as if trying to think of what to say next.

"Hidden away to preserve them?" Bess asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Oh," she said, her eyes widening in realisation. "So I could say that if I mention anything which I shouldn't know, it might just be what I was taught before, coming out?"

"Yes."

She let out a small laugh. "That's actually a good idea."

Dumbledore chuckled, his eyes twinkling, and said, "I have been known to have them from time to time."

"But then I'd have to explain about my age..." Bess said to herself.

As quietly as she'd spoken, Dumbledore still heard her and responded. "That, is something I cannot help you with."

"I can't tell them about what we're doing here at all, can I?" She asked, rubbing her hands down her face.

Dumbledore raised an eyebrow. "Would you like to?"

"No. Not with… all of them. I can't trust someone."

He narrowed his eyes and asked, "who?"

"I'll let you know if it comes to that, but for now we're fine. It's just… I can't trust them not to remember little things I say. Especially if this will be my cover story."

Dumbledore nodded.

They sat in silence for a few more moments before Bess spoke again. "Thank you, Professor... you know, for believing me this time."

"No. Thank you Bess. For continuing even when I tried to stop you," he said, smiling at her.

She frowned and stammered out a question which had been on her mind for a while. "Why- why do you think I came here?"

Dumbledore looked at her over his half moon spectacles and simply said, "I cannot answer that, Miss Coulson. I have never heard of such an event taking place."

"What do... what do you think happened?" She asked quietly, staring at the old wizard.

She'd stopped trying not to look in to his eyes while she'd explained about the Horcruxes - he hadn't once attempted legilimency on her and she trusted that he would only do so if he felt he needed to.

After a pause, he said, "I think that is a conversation for another day."

Bess nodded and sighed deeply, putting her hand to her mouth and staring at the table, deep in thought.

"But please, answer me one more thing?" He asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bess nodded and bit her lip.

"Do you wish to return to your version of reality?"

Bess, who hadn't thought about the possibility of going home in weeks, frowned. Did she still want to go home?

"I- I'm not sure, sir. I think... I think I want to stay here until at least after the war is over." She said quietly.

Dumbledore nodded. "So we can count on your support until Voldemort has been vanquished?"

Bess raised her head and nodded firmly. "One hundred per cent."

They stared at each other for a moment before Dumbledore's eyes flickered to the side, and he said "alas, it is getting late."

Bess looked over at the large clock and saw that it was already almost ten o'clock - she only had a few minutes before she would be breaking the weekend curfew. She was glad the Headmaster's Office was also on the seventh floor - she'd be able to run back and miss Filch completely.

"I should go. Will you..."

"I will keep this safe, Bess, and I will destroy it." Dumbledore said, nodding.

Bess sent him a sad half-smile and walked towards the door.

"Bess?"

She turned to look at her Headmaster, who was now standing behind his desk, his hands clasped together.

"Would you like a lemon drop?" He asked serenely.

Bess tried not to laugh as she looked at the bowl next to the entrance of his office. "Thank you, Professor," she said as she grabbed six sweets and left the office.

As she stepped off the stone steps, she thought she heard voices down the hall. Frowning, she continued on her path towards the portrait hole, only stopping once, when she thought she heard something scuttle by her.

Chapter Text

The next evening, Bess found herself sitting in the common room, lying across her favourite armchair. Her golden notebook open in front of her, she was finally about to strike through one line on her list of horcruxes.

"Alright, love? How was detention?" Sirius asked, as James, Peter and he slumped down on the two sofas nearest her.

Lily, who had been lying on the sofa James chose to sit on, rolled her eyes and moved her legs back so he could have more space to stretch out.

"Good. Here," she said, before throwing a lemon drop to each of them.

They all frowned at her and she chuckled.

"Perks of a detention with Dumbledore. I'll give Remus his tomorrow," she said, grinning.

"A Dumbledore detention?! Love! What was that even like?" Sirius asked as he stretched his arms out across the armrest and back of the sofa and crossed his ankle over his knee.

Bess looked up at the ceiling, deep in thought, before smiling and saying, "oddly satisfying."

Sirius grinned back at her and winked as he popped his sweet in his mouth. A moment later, he turned to Peter, who had set up their game of Wizard's Chess.

Bess stared at the back of his head for a moment before she realised Lily was staring at her. She turned to look at the redhead and mouthed, "what?"

Lily shook her head, a small smile on her lips, and looked back down at her book.

James, who had slumped down in his seat and put his feet up on the coffee table, raised a hand and said, "Wait! if you had detention with Dumbledore, did you meet Sirius' great-great-great-great-great-"

"Alright! Alright! Not that many greats, thanks!" Sirius laughed, putting his hands up, "most hated Headmaster ever as well... so actually... yeah, was he okay?" He asked as he turned to look at Bess and lowered his hands, his smile being replaced by an apprehensive look.

Bess laughed, "No! He's a dick!"

Sirius stood up and walked over to her chair, kneeling in front of her and taking one of her hands in his.

Bess' smile fell slightly and she said, "H- he said that I've enchanted you."

Sirius smiled and kissed her hand, "You have."

She didn't know why, but she felt like she wanted to tell him everything about her conversation with Phineas. "He called you... he said you were his worthless great-"

Sirius held up a hand to stop her and leaned in to press a kiss to her nose.

"I am."

"No. You're not," she said, placing a hand to the side of his face, staring into his eyes.

"I am. I ran away this summer. I live with the Potters now. I am literally worthless," he said with a bitter laugh.

Bess shook her head. "No. You're not."

She leant in to kiss him on the corner of his mouth. When she pulled back, his eyes were closed.

"But I have nothing," he whispered.

Bess leant in again, until her lips were only inches from his, and replied, "You have me."

His eyes opened suddenly and he blinked at her, a weird expression on his face. She felt his hand leave hers and she pulled back, shaking her head.

"Sorry, uh- I didn't mean- uh- I should-" She stammered, before she jumped up and vaulted over the back of the armchair. She walked backwards, slapping her notebook against her hand, as she called to Lily, "I'm tired, just going to-" and pointed to the dormitory stairs.

She avoided Sirius' gaze - he had stood up, and was still staring at her with that odd expression on his face. Instead, she turned and ran upstairs.

As she lay in her bed and stared at the ceiling, Bess had a sinking feeling in her stomach as the euphoria of Dumbledore believing her wore off.

She had just inferred to Sirius that she cared deeply for him and although that was true-

"What was that?" Lily asked, breaking through Bess' thoughts and jumping on to the end of her bed.

Bess groaned and pulled a pillow over her face as Lily laughed and crossed her legs, settling in. Bess heard her curtains shut, and pulled her pillow down to her chest.

She watched as Lily cast muffliato and lumos, and smiled slightly. It really was amazing to Bess still, seeing even the smallest of spells being cast by such a talented witch. Bess, who tried so hard, felt that magic came so naturally to her redheaded friend.

"Have you told him?" Lily asked, chucking a piece of chocolate at Bess.

"No." Bess grumbled, hugging the pillow and biting off some of the sweet treat.

Lily nodded. "Didn't think so."

"He doesn't- I don't think he-" she stammered, shaking her head.

"No! You two are just tip toeing around this thing. It's different. Honestly, I've never seen two people more..." Lily trailed off and stared up at the canopy above them, "it's frustrating to watch and I think everyone's just waiting for one of you to..."

"Lily, this isn't some... it's not some... argh!" Bess said, pulling the pillow back over her face.

Lily waited for her to lower the pillow. "You both have secrets?"

Bess pursed her lips and sat up. "How did you know?"

Lily smiled. "I've already spoken to Sirius."

"What? When?" Bess asked, propping herself up on her elbows, her pillow still lying on her chest.

"This afternoon. I paid a visit to the boys' dorm room while you were in the library. James was... surprised..." Lily trailed off as she began to giggle.

"I bet!" Bess cried, reaching over to slap Lily on the arm, "that's another thing we need to talk about..."

Lily shook her head. "One thing at a time, please! Anyway, Sirius said he needed to tell you something big. He said it would change how you see him. James looked shifty, so it really must be big."

"Why would he tell you that?" Seeing the look on Lily's face, she shook her head and held out her hand. "No, no, didn't mean it like that. I just meant... he's barely mentioned it to me... I thought maybe he'd..."

"Yeah. Don't worry. I get it. Before you got here we weren't the closest. But uh- I think he's trying to tell you something about Snape... so..." Lily trailed off. She didn't need to continue.

Bess didn't know how to tell Sirius that she already knew what he'd been trying to tell her for a while - about the Whomping Willow and Snape. She didn't really want to have the conversation, she just didn't know how she would react, which was why every time someone tried to interrupt them over the past few days, she'd let it happen.

"Do you know what happened there?"

Lily frowned and looked down at her hands. "Snape told me the gist. I- I don't know the details, but..."

Bess could tell that Lily was lying, and thought back to the seventh Harry Potter book. Snape's memories - Lily saying that he was ungrateful because James saved him... that she knew Snape's theory about Remus...

Bess tried to control her features as she realised that Lily had already worked out what had happened. Whether she knew when it had first happened or had realised over the summer, or even more recently, Bess didn't know.

For a second Bess wondered why Lily hadn't told anyone. But then she thought about it properly - she wouldn't either. And this was Lily after all. By the sounds of Snape's memories, she was headstrong, knew her own mind, and was as protective and loyal as James.

Neither of the girls would betray Remus like that.

Bess pursed her lips and shook her head to clear it. She then took a deep breath and hugged the pillow again. "He hasn't heard my secret yet..."

Lily looked up and cocked her head to the side. "Maybe it's time you talked?"

Bess shook her head. "I don't... I don't think I could handle the rejection, so for now, I think I'm just going to go full teenager on this and avoid him until it's too awkward and people lock us in a broom closet or something..."

Lily giggled, but then stopped. "You're serious, aren't you? That's your plan?"

Bess sighed and nodded. "It's better this way."

"For who?"

Bess just sighed again and tried to change the subject. "James seems like he's changing..."

Lily glared. "If you're trying to change the subject, that was a feeble attempt and you should be ashamed of yourself. Anyway, James may act like he's changed, but I saw him hex a seventh year on Thursday."

"Christ! Who was it?"

"A Slytherin called Wilkes."

"Oh. I wouldn't worry about that..." Bess said, as she made a mental note to add that surname to her list of Death Eaters in their school.

"I would! James said he called me a Mudblood, but I was nowhere-"

"He's a Death Eater, Lily," Bess said quietly but firmly. "Wilkes is a Death Eater."

Lily gasped and put her hand to her mouth. "But he's never said anything before..."

"Sure about that?" Bess asked, raising an eyebrow, a sad look on her face.

"Shit."

"You had a go at James?"

"Yup. How didn't I know that?"

"Did James try to tell you?"

"Well, yeah, but..." Lily trailed off and pursed her lips.

"That's not to say James' actions were right, by the way, I'm just... I'm just getting less and less bothered by the boys fighting for us. It... it's... it's so tiring looking over my shoulder all the time. Mentally and physically." Bess frowned and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Bess saw Lily nod and looked up at her.

"You two really need to talk," Lily whispered imploringly.

Bess, whose eyes had filled with tears as she'd spoken, felt a tear trail down her cheek. "My secret... I want you to know as well. And James. And Remus."

"Not Peter?" Lily asked with a frown.

"Oh, yes.. uh- of course. I just... I don't know him as well I guess," Bess said quickly, wiping her tear away and tucking a loose curl behind her ear.

Lily nodded but didn't look like she believed her.

Bess sighed. "Can we... can we just wait until Remus is back at least? You know... uh- from his mum's house..."

Bess looked around as she said this, and when she looked back up, meeting Lily's gaze, they shared a look of understanding.

Lily's face fell and she stammered, "Bess, y- you've only-"

Bess cut her off. "That's not my secret. I don't know anything until he tells me."

Lily took a deep breath in. "That's... that's refreshing."

"Snape?"

"If he had his way, I'm sure everyone would know," Lily whispered, a tear running down her cheek.

You have no idea, Bess thought glumly as she moved to her knees and hugged her friend.

They stayed like that for a while until Bess sat back and crossed her legs, pulling the pillow back to her stomach.

After a moment Lily laughed, and Bess joined in. For a minute, the girls laughed, letting out all of their emotions.

When they stopped laughing, they wiped their tears from their faces and Lily sniffed loudly, rubbing her nose.

Bess frowned. "Sorry, I don't know how to conjure tissues and I don't have-"

Lily just laughed again and pulled out her wand, conjuring up two handkerchiefs and handing one to Bess, who muttered, "thanks."

"I can't believe- what is that?" Lily began to say something but paused and frowned.

Bess, who heard the fluttering as well, rolled her eyes and opened her curtain an inch, letting in a little parchment bird.

"That's beautiful!" Lily exclaimed as the bird flew once around the canopy before coming to land on Bess' outstretched palm.

Bess smiled and rolled her eyes as she reached for her wand. "Sirius is incredible at transfiguration. This is probably what he does for fun."

"This is from Sirius? It really is a beautiful piece of magic," Lily said, crawling over to sit next to Bess. "Does he send you these a lot?"

"Sometimes. It started when Jasper explained what happened to me during our Defence class, but he's sent more since I was in the hospital wing... You know... When I..."

"Fell down a hill?" Lily offered, trying not to laugh.

Bess tried not to smile from embarrassment. She could feel her face getting hotter as she nodded.

She reached down and tapped the note with her wand. Lily gasped as the bird unfurled itself and let off a gold glow before coming to rest as a flat piece of parchment on Bess' palm.

Love,

I need to see you.

S

"Okay, I've seen Sirius' notes. They're boring little paper planes, not origami phoenixes, and his words are like 'baby, can't meet tonight, got stuff on,'" Lily said, putting on a deep voice. "Not 'love, I need to see you,'" she added, putting her hands over her heart and throwing her head back jokingly.

"He did not send someone a note like that, did he?" Bess asked, wide eyed, looking at Lily, who had rested her head on Bess' shoulder, looking down at the note.

Lily laughed and moved back slightly. "He did. It was to Sol. They went out for two months, and she always had to send the first note."

"And you're trying to convince me that I should tell him how I feel?" Bess asked, looking up in thought and raising her finger to the air.

Lily giggled and shoved her shoulder. "Obviously, he's different now," she added, gesturing towards the note. "I can see how he is around you. He's changing."

Bess sighed. "Did he send you up here to talk to me?"

"No. I mean, yeah, he asked if I could check on you, but I wanted to," Lily replied quietly.

"Thanks," Bess whispered, and nudged Lily's shoulder with hers.

They smiled at each other for a moment before Bess frowned and looked down at the note. It had started to vibrate in her hand, and she watched as it glowed gold again.

"What's-?" Bess asked, as the note began to curl and fold itself.

Lily and Bess gasped as it turned in to a little dog and sat back on its hind legs, looking up at Bess.

It opened its mouth and Sirius' voice whispered, "love, please. Talk to me."

Bess tried not to shiver, and gulped audibly.

"Yeah, you need to talk to him..." Lily whispered.

"For god's... go kiss James or something," Bess replied, rolling her eyes and tapping the note with her wand. After a moment the dog unfolded itself again.

Lily laughed. "When James starts sending me notes like this, I'll go on a date with him."

Bess smiled and picked up her quill, writing out a reply before tapping the parchment with her wand again.

The note turned back in to a bird and flew away as Lily moved back to her seat at the end of Bess' bed and Bess opened her curtain slightly to let it out.

"What did you say?" Lily asked, snapping off another piece of chocolate.

"That James has a shot..." Bess giggled.

Lily gasped and whacked Bess on the arm. "You did not!"

Bess didn't reply, she just cuddled her pillow and lay back on the bed and sighed.

After a moment, Lily laid down next to her, and both girls stared at the ceiling.

"I have to tell you all. It's... it's not something I can just tell Sirius."

"Is it really that bad?" Lily whispered.

"It's... it's complicated."

Lily nodded. "What's your favourite song?"

Bess grinned. "Don't know, it changes all the time. Honestly, the seventies is like the rock and roll golden era. At the moment though, I think it's Piano Man by Billy Joel."

"I don't think I've heard that one..."

"It only came out this year. I've got the LP if you want to-" Bess stopped herself and grimaced. "Ignore that. Don't fancy going downstairs at the moment, so it'll have to wait. What's yours?"

"I'm not sure really... I haven't heard much Muggle music recently. So I guess... Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen. Do you know that one?"

Bess burst out laughing. "No!"

"You don't know it? It's so good!" Lily said enthusiastically.

"No, I know it, it's one of my favourites! But Sirius told me James hid his record player because he played it six times in a row!" Bess cried through her laughter.

"No. Seriously? That boy has issues..." Lily said quickly.

"Wonder how long it'll take to become his favourite song..." Bess asked, trailing off as she rubbed her chin before laughing.

"It's back," Lily said, cutting through Bess' giggles.

Bess sighed and pulled back the curtain slightly, letting the bird back in. Again, it circled once, before landing on Bess' outstretched palm.

She tapped it with her wand and didn't even try and stop Lily from reading it. It had obviously been sent by Sirius, but was written in James' handwriting.

He's back tonight at 10. Is Lily coming too?

"What did you say?" Lily whispered, taking the note and reading it again.

"That I needed to talk to you all. Asked when Remus would be back... I said I couldn't see Sirius yet."

"Bess..."

"Trust me, I'll need your support," Bess said, looking to the redhead at her side.

xXx

At five to ten that night, the girls snuck out of their dorm room and tip toed down the stairs, before sneaking up the boys' staircase.

"It's this one..." Lily whispered as she stopped in front of a door which had 'Sixth Year' on the door.

Bess frowned at the next door along, which had the same sign. "How do you know?"

"Uh-" Lily began, before coughing quietly and pointing to a mark on the wall, "it's a snitch..."

Bess raised an eyebrow.

"James doodles them on his notes sometimes," Lily said, blushing slightly.

"So you have noticed...?" Bess whispered back with a smile.

Lily rolled her eyes and lifted her fist to knock on the wooden door. Before she could, it swung open to reveal James.

He was wearing his pyjamas - a fitted green t-shirt and blue flannel trousers which showed off his thin but strong frame - and his hair was tousled as if he'd been lying in bed. His hazel eyes shone brightly behind his glasses as he stared down at Lily, and he had a wide, brilliant smile on his face.

For the first time, Bess noticed how good looking he was. She followed his gaze and looked down at her friend, who was blushing slightly.

"Welcome!" James cried, pulling the door open more, breaking the spell.

When Lily didn't move, Bess nudged her inside and tried not to smile as the redhead stumbled forwards, eyeing up James' biceps.

Looking around, she thought the boys must have cleaned up quickly. The floor was clear, but she could see clothes shoved under Peter's bed, books lying in various stacks around the room, and a couple of jars of sweets peppered around.

"Sirius and Peter went to get Remus. Should be back soon," James said, closing the door and gesturing to the room at large, "make yourselves comfortable!"

Bess grinned and walked over to Sirius' bed, climbing on to it and sitting cross-legged at the end of it.

James looked at her oddly. "How did you...?"

"Oh, uh-" Bess said, before pointing at the miniature motorcycle sat on the bedside table, the record player placed under the bed, and the t-shirt lying on the trunk, "predictable."

James grinned and nodded, before pointing out the boys' beds to the girls. His was surprisingly the cleanest, though Bess had a feeling he'd roughed up Remus' sheets just to make his bed look better.

As James and Lily began to chat, Bess reached over and picked up the miniature motorcycle, peering down at it and turning it in her hands.

She wondered if this was what his motorcycle would look like, and pondered when he'd end up buying his full-sized one. It would be soon, she knew, as he and James would escape from Death Eaters on it in the summer of 1977, but she thought he'd wait until he got his inheritance, whenever that might be.

She was still looking at the motorcycle when the door opened and Sirius and Remus came in, followed by a nervous looking Peter, who ran straight over to his bed and stared between Bess and Lily, as if eyeing up the intruders.

Bess watched as Remus limped over to his bed, Sirius helping him along. When Remus looked up and saw her looking at him, he gulped.

"Uh- I uh- fell down the-"

Bess raised a hand and shook her head. "I fell down a hill. If anyone's judging here, it's not me."

Remus chuckled and nodded, looking a lot less worried. As Sirius turned towards her, she noticed that he was staring at the floor, his jaw clenched.

After a moment, he walked over to his bed and flung himself on it, landing on his back, staring up at the ceiling. He stretched his legs out behind Bess and crossed his arms across his chest.

"Why're you sulking?" Bess whispered, moving round to sit on her heels, facing him.

"I'm not," he said, still staring at the ceiling of his canopy.

"Is it because I wanted to chat to everyone, and not just us two?"

Sirius' silence confirmed her suspicions. She reached down, laced her fingers with his and squeezed his hand slightly as she frowned down at the motorcycle in her other hand, trying to work out what to say.

"See this is awkward, but one of you needs to say something because I'm really tired..." she heard Remus say from his bed.

She smiled at him and let out a breathless laugh, before turning back to see Sirius still staring at the ceiling.

Remus' voice rang out again, "Maybe you go first Bess, because you're the one who wanted us all here?"

She sighed and stood up, walking to the centre of the room. "Could someone..." She said, pointing to the door.

Lily quickly cast some spells and Bess looked down at the motorcycle in her hand, put one foot in front her, and rocked her weight backwards and forwards on her heels and toes, trying to think of how to put it.

"Okay. Motorcycle of truth..." She said, lifting the miniature and taking a deep breath before tapping it slightly against her lips.

She decided to just try and explain everything as close to the truth as possible. She moved her hands to near her stomach and looked down at them as she played with the cycle and spoke. "This is going to sound crazy, but just... hear me out?

"When I woke up in St. Mungo's at the start of the year, I thought I was a Muggle, and that magic only existed within books...

"There was this one book that I loved to read which was about Hogwarts and magic and stuff, and it was my absolute favourite story growing up.

"I used to imagine I was attending Hogwarts, and that I went Diagon Alley, and for jaunts to Wales on the Knight Bus, or apparated to France because I could...

"I- uh- m- my parents weren't nice people. So it was my escape from all of that. I lived an entirely Muggle life. I grew up in London, I went to school there, and stuff, and then when I was eighteen I left home and worked and stuff until I went to university.

"That's like... further education for Muggles... I was twenty years old when I closed my eyes to go to sleep and woke up... here."

She heard Lily let out a little gasp, but continued on.

"I was in so much pain, the potions barely touched it. I think they thought I was dying so they'd put me in an almost silent ward. When I woke up I couldn't say anything, my throat was so hoarse, so it took them ages to come to find me because I couldn't call out to them.

"When they did realise I was awake and lucid, they moved me to a children's ward and I started to recover... But I was scared and in a weird world, so I started reading books because-"

"You're a nerd?" James interjected.

Bess looked up at him and smiled slightly as Lily slapped him round the back of the head and shushed him.

Bess took a second to think of where she'd got to before she continued, "I- uh yeah... uh- and I realised that there were lots of things that I'd been dreaming about as a kid, that were real here... and so I wrote... to Dumbledore.

"And uh- I asked if I could study here. He came to see me and said no, but I managed to convince him somehow, and he said that if I passed some of my OWLs, then he'd let me in.

"Uh- the first time I met you guys, I was on my way to get a textbook, and I think it shocked me a bit. You were all going to be in my year probably, so I kind of... ran?

"And then when I saw you all at Hogsmeade and then in Hogwarts during exams, I didn't want to be around any of you just in case I couldn't study here. But then I got the grades, and I got to come to Hogwarts, which was amazing!

"Uh- and the sorting hat wanted to put me in to Hufflepuff, but I... asked to be put in to Gryffindor, because it was the house the character in the book I used to read had been in. But- uh-" Bess stopped and put a hand on her forehead. "Sorry, I'm rambling...

"Dumbledore thinks that as a coping mechanism for what happened to me, I created these false memories and hid magic within them, so that if I ever woke up, I'd not be too defenceless.

"And that my parents were actually nice people, but I made them awful in my mind so that I wouldn't have to deal with their deaths properly. I think that's why I don't talk about them. To me... they're not..." Bess took a deep, shaky breath in before continuing, "that's also why I have loads of gaps where I have no idea what things are, but then other things I could recite you the background of in my sleep.

"Like I know that we're meeting in the boys' dorms because you guys can't go up our stairs without it turning in to a slide, but Lily had to explain what a Mudblood was to me..."

She reached up and scratched the top of her head. "It's why I'm trying to remember things and write it in my notebook... because if I can remember things from the book that I read when I was a kid, then I might remember a spell or something that was important.

"... and it feels like I'm me, Bess, and then the girl who was attacked was Daphne. I don't remember her life at all. So I feel like we're... two separate people almost."

Bess put her head in one of her hands and sighed. After a moment she pulled her hand down her face and groaned, "I know. I know I sound crazy." She shrugged and bit her lip. She could feel the tears streaming down her face and she sniffed and wiped them away with the heels of her palms.

"I just wanted you all to know, because you're all amazing and have been so kind and wonderful and welcoming and I feel like I'm lying to you all every day, because sometimes when you explain something, I already know it and stuff." When no one said anything, she took a deep breath in.

"Aaaaaand this is why Dumbledore said I should just not tell anyone and stop being friends with people... I sound... Absolutely delusional!" She laughed bitterly, nodded again, and wiped her nose on her sleeve before walking over to Sirius and dropping the motorcycle on his chest. She made sure not to look at anyone as she did, and turned towards the door. "I should go-"

"That's your secret?" Sirius asked.

She turned to look at him as he sat up on his bed, staring at her.

She wiped her nose again and nodded, biting her lip. "Uh- yeah... it's..."

"Love. That's... That's... honestly? Understandable."

Bess blinked. "It is?"

"Well, yeah. I mean... Jasper told us all what you went through. This... this makes a lot of sense as to how... okay... you are about a lot of things," he said, standing and pulling her to him.

Bess hadn't really thought about it like that, but it really did sound kind of reasonable that this had happened. Especially in a world where she was standing in a room with a werewolf and three animagi.

"Let me get this straight though... you were meant to be a badger?" James said in an incredulous tone.

Bess felt mentally drained. She'd been so worried about their reactions, that she hadn't even had a chance to think that they would be positive. "You're all taking this a lot better than I thought you would. Honestly, it's all a bit anticlimactic..." she said with a small chuckle as she rubbed her forehead.

James smiled at her and said, "Oh, we have questions. Hundreds of them. Millions, probably... And if you'd said all this when we first met you we'd have said you were crazy, but... we know you now. And Dumbledore trusts you. So we'll give you... Three?" He looked around and nodded at everyone. "Yeah three days, and then we'll start the questioning."

Bess let out a laugh. "Are you... are you sure it's not too mad?"

"Honestly, Bess, we're all a bit mad here," Remus called from his bed.

Bess turned to shoot him an appreciative smile.

"Actually... there might not be any questions... once you've heard my secret..." Sirius said quietly, but loud enough for everyone to hear. "I think... I think because mine is... bad... we were expecting yours to be worse than it is. Which is why we're probably taking it a lot better than you thought. Yours... it's... it's personal and vulnerable. Mine is..."

Bess looked up at him and felt his arms squeeze her closer to him, as if this was the last hug they'd ever have. She felt him press a kiss to her head, before motioning for her to sit on the bed again.

He sat down as well, facing her, one knee on the bed, his other leg dangled over the side, his foot touching the floor. He picked up the motorcycle and played with it in his hands as he looked down.

He took a deep breath and started, "Earlier this year, I told Snivellus-"

"Snape," Bess interjected firmly.

Sirius looked up at her and frowned. "What?"

"Sirius, please. His name is Snape."

Sirius sighed and nodded. "Fine. I told Snape how to... uh-" Sirius looked up to the ceiling and then back down again, as if trying to find the words to explain himself.

"There's this... thing... that happens ever so often, and Snape kept asking questions about it, and a friend of mine who's protective over the event, started getting nervous.

"One day I thought Snape had gone too far in his search for answers, so I... I told him where to look to find it. He went to where it was, and... the event happened and it... it could have killed him.

"I told James what I'd done, and he stopped Snape in time, but if James hadn't, then he could have died."

Bess looked up and made eye contact with Lily. If Bess hadn't already known what had happened, this would have been all she'd have needed to confirm that 'event' meant Remus' transformation in to a werewolf.

Silence filled the room.

Bess didn't know what to say. She frowned down at her hands and opened and closed her mouth a few times. She just couldn't find the words. Eventually, she said, "why... why would you do that?"

She didn't look at Sirius - she didn't want to see his face - she didn't even need to look to know that his jaw was clenched, his face filled with worry and upset.

"I- I was angry. He kept trying to... he... I can't explain it properly, but... in my stupid head, I thought it would... I- I thought it would serve him right. He was always trying to find things out, and I told him where to find answers. I can't even say I didn't think he'd go down there."

Bess frowned. "Down where?"

"Uh- just... somewhere dangerous."

Bess knew Sirius was lying, but even if she didn't, she could hear it in his voice.

"And why did he... go down there?" she asked quietly.

"Because he wanted to prove that the event happened, so he could try and... and... expose it." Sirius said, trying to find the words to describe Snape's actions.

"W- Why are you telling me this?"

She was genuinely confused as to why he was explaining the event. He'd never shown proper remorse for it in the books, he'd thought it was a joke gone wrong. So why was he doing this now? Why would he be telling her? And especially in front of Remus.

This wasn't to say that Bess thought Snape was completely blameless in this - he obviously knew exactly what was waiting for him at the end of the tunnel, and wanted to go there anyway so that he could get evidence that Remus was a werewolf. At least, she definitely got that impression from the type of person he was to her. He had, after all, helped attack Bess just a week and a half before.

"Because... I don't know. I guess because earlier this year you saw a side of me that you seemed to hate, and I knew that if I didn't tell you this, then I'd be hurting you again," Sirius replied quietly.

"How would not knowing this hurt me?" Bess asked in a whisper.

"Because you'd find out eventually, and if you knew I was hiding this from you..." Sirius trailed off, but she could tell there was something else he desperately wanted to say.

"There're things... memories... that I'm hiding from all of you," Bess whispered, as a nauseous feeling rose in her stomach.

She hadn't thought about what would happen if or when the war ended. How would she tell Sirius that she knew the future, and some of his past?

Sirius sighed. "That's different. Those are personal memories which affect you and your past. Literally the whole school knows about Snape and what happened. You'd hear about it eventually. Except... they know Snape went down there, and that James saved him. They don't know it was me who sent him down there. Only Snape and the people in this room know that...

"But here's the thing... when Regulus shoved you, and then when Snape helped attack you during half term, I realised that... you wouldn't be safe... and if we're ever going to be together, then you need to know why.

"For Regulus, it's that I've disgraced my family name by renouncing their blood purism and leaving home. I- I'll explain that more later... and Snape... he'll do anything he can to get his own back on me for last year. I just... I just know that they know how important you are, and you just won't be safe because of that."

"Why do they think I'm important?" Bess asked as her eyes darted between different spots on the floor, her mind whirring at a hundred miles an hour as her fingers gripped the mattress as hard as she could.

Why on earth would Regulus and Snape get it in to their heads that she was important in some way?

Most of Sirius' words hadn't registered in her mind properly and she had clung on to his last sentence. Her mind had gone off on a tangent as she felt the panic rise in her chest, making her heart thump uncomfortably and her breathing escalate.

"They know how important you are, and you won't be safe", whirled around and around in her head. Do all of the Death Eaters know about me? Will they work out that I'm planning on killing Voldemort? Would they try to get to me more and more? Oh god. No one's going to be safe... I need to stop this. I need to stop these relationships. I nee-

Her thoughts were interrupted as Sirius took one of her hands in his and said, "because they've worked out what I've known since you told me about Regulus shoving you to the ground."

Bess' eyes stopped darting around, and she looked down at their intertwined hands, trying to think of what the two future, or current, Death Eaters would have found out two and a half weeks ago.

"What?" She whispered, her brow furrowing.

Sirius reached up and put his index finger and thumb to Bess' chin and tilted her face up so that he could look into her tear filled eyes.

"That I've fallen in love with you."

Chapter Text

It was like Bess' mind stopped. She couldn't think of anything, not even Sirius' words. She opened and closed her mouth a few times before she began to stammer, "I- I- wh- wh- sorry... what?"

She furrowed her brow even more and stared at him with wide eyes. She couldn't fathom that the only reason she'd been attacked or shoved was due to Sirius, and not because she was being targeted for escaping death by the Death Eaters at Christmas.

"I'm in love with you. I- I love you." He said, his face contorted with worry and apprehension.

Like a switch, she came back to her senses, and she didn't know what to do first - squeal, jump up and down and spin around, admonish him for declaring his love in front of their friends or when she was covered in... snot... and tears...

Oh god! she thought, no no no no no!

Seeing the look on her face, Sirius stood, his jaw clenched. He looked around for a moment.

"Oh no you don't!" Lily said, as she shoved Sirius back down next to Bess, "keep talking. Tell her how you feel and why, and when you realised. Go on!"

Sirius took a moment before the fight came back in to his eyes and he nodded as he grabbed Bess' hands in his and began to speak, "I'm sorry. I can't- I couldn't help it. I realised I was falling for you at that party. I think that's why I took the Scott thing so badly. And then, Merlin. When you fell down that hill I could barely control myself," he said with a sigh, "James had to run to get to you. I- I couldn't...

"And then in the hospital? With the rat? I told myself I would never let you feel panic like that alone again.

"And then I just kept falling," Sirius took a deep breath and stopped for a moment, "and then Regulus was just the push I needed to know for sure. I know- I know you don't feel as strongly about me, but I just can't help it. I tried to keep it from you, I even asked if we could... court... just so I could be close to you, and even then I could barely keep away from you. And when you- today, when you said that I had you... I thought... I thought maybe."

Bess frowned. "Wait, but you walked in here glaring. You wouldn't even look at me."

She was still incredibly embarrassed that he was professing his love for her while she was such a mess, and was trying to covertly wipe away her tears and snot, and was slyly nibbling her lips and pinching her cheeks to try and get some colour in to them.

"I know. You're right. I was sulking. But you have no idea what it's like seeing the woman you're in love with run away from you like that when you try to kiss her.

"And then when I tried to get you to meet me so I could explain and apologise for it, and you said you wouldn't see me unless everyone was here?

"I- I was sulking because if I looked at you I thought you'd..." he trailed off and took a deep breath, "but then you told us your secret and I understand now why you wanted to tell us all at the same time. And maybe... maybe you were just afraid of our reactions, just like I'm afraid?

"Because I'm so afraid, Bess. I've never felt like this before. And I just keep thinking why would you... why would you love me too?"

No one said anything, and Sirius fell silent. Bess couldn't say that the room was quiet, because she could barely hear over the thumping of her heart and the rush of blood in her ears. He was trying to kiss her earlier and she'd run away... that was why he'd pulled his hand away? So he could cup her face or something?

"Bess, love, please say something?" Sirius asked, in a pleading tone.

"I'm in my pyjamas..." Bess whispered finally.

Sirius leant in, eyes darting over her face. "What?"

"Sirius Black!" She cried, finally coming back to her senses. "I am in my bloody pyjamas! I have snot and tears on my sleeves and my face! I have no make up on and my hair looks like a bird's nest. This isn't-

"You're- and I'm-" she said, gesturing between them. "For god's sake! Not- not- I-" Bess stopped and put her hand to her forehead as she began to laugh, she was so overwhelmed with emotion.

Sirius pulled his hands back to his lap and glared at the ground. "Please don't laugh at me."

"I'm not. I'm laughing at the ridiculousness of-"

"I knew it. I knew you wouldn't- argh! I fucking told you, James!" Sirius cried as he stood up, put his fists to his forehead and let out a loud frustrated cry as he stalked across the room, his face crumbling.

"Pads..." James said, looking up at his friend with an apologetic look.

"Padfoot, hear her out," Remus added.

"Bess!" Lily cried, staring at Bess in disbelief and shock. "What are you doing?!"

"I told Dumbledore I loved you last night," Bess shouted as she stood up.

"What?" Sirius asked as he turned around and stared at her.

"We were talking and Dumbledore said I really needed to tell you all about my past, and that if I didn't I would be lying to you all, or I had to just break off our friendships. I mean, there was more to it, and there are still things I can't share, but that's the gist. And I said I was terrified of what you'd say because... well, because I love you," Bess said breathing heavily and staring at the black haired man in front of her.

Sirius' face changed in an instant as the goofy smile she'd come to love took over his features. Striding across the room, he cupped her face in his hands and stared down at her.

She could tell he was about to kiss her, his lips moving in quickly, before they were stopped as Bess lifted her hand and covered his mouth before she said, "No offense, but I'm already going to have to tell people that the first time we told each other how we felt, I looked like a snot covered troll, and that all our friends were staring at us. Can we at least make our first kiss a little bit special?"

"I can do that," Sirius mumbled against her hand, nodding enthusiastically.

"Yes! I bloody knew it! Love conquers all!" James cried, standing up and punching the air before starting to clap.

The smile dropped from Bess' face and was replaced with a mock-glare as she turned to look at James, dropping her hand from Sirius' face.

"Are you going to be here the first time we have sex as well?" she asked, raising an eyebrow.

Sirius spluttered and coughed out a laugh, and James just grinned. Bess could hear Remus trying not to laugh from his bed. Peter, who had been silent the entire time, looked like he was hoping the floor would swallow him whole, while Lily had the same look as James did - just pure joy for her friends.

"No, I promise that from now on, I will try and keep my interruptions to a minimum. It would be easier if Lily would take up some of my free time though..." he said, turning to look at the redhead who was now biting her lip and glaring at the ceiling.

"If you're genuinely trying to use Bess and Sirius to get me to say yes to going out with you..."

Bess tried not to laugh as she watched Lily and James begin to argue.

"Love?" Sirius asked, grabbing her attention again, his hands moving to her waist to pull her closer to him, "did you mean what you said?"

"Yes," Bess replied quietly, putting her hands on his chest, "but, we need to talk more. I mean... I don't want to, but we should. Sirius, I want this. More than you could ever know. But what you just told me about Snape? It's..."

"I know. Which is why I told you now. I can't lose you. I just can't."

"It's... just a bit hard. On the one hand I'm practically bursting with happiness, but on the other I'm apprehensive-"

"Love, it will never happen again. Nothing like that will ever happen again. I promise. It- Snape brings out another side in me. He's... he's..."

"I know. I know you wouldn't. But he's also a human being. I'm not saying don't defend yourself, I'm just- ugh- I'm sorry. I know you know all of this already and that you wouldn't do this again... And he did attack me... and he's probably a Death Eater already... I don't... I'm so confused. And... and I need you to know that there are reasons why you might not be safe if we're together as well."

"Love, I just told you I almost killed another student through sheer idiocy. I'm not expecting you to just get over it immediately. And we'll talk about everything, we will. Your things and mine. I just... I just... right now, I just need to know you feel the same way I do."

"I do."

"Good. Then we can do this. We can be together, and we'll work everything else out as we go along?"

Bess opened and closed her mouth, but no words came out. She was scared of taking this step. She could see a future where she lost Sirius, where he found out what she was hiding from him and he felt betrayed enough to leave her... a future where she couldn't save him from what was coming... a future where she was sent back to her own world... and yet, she didn't know how she could ever bear to be apart from him now. Her thoughts whirled in her head, but finally, she stopped thinking, and just nodded.

Sirius grinned and leant in, placing a kiss to her cheek, before moving to the other cheek, then her forehead, nose, chin, neck and jaw, peppering her face with kisses as his hands moved to the back of her neck and her lower back. He avoided her lips expertly, respecting her wishes to keep their first 'proper' kiss between just the two of them.

Bess revelled in the feeling of him and closed her eyes, a serene smile on her face as she relaxed and, for the first time in days, stopped thinking due to calm, rather than panic.

"Really happy for you guys, but I'm also really tired, so can we..." Remus called out.

Bess looked over to see him lying on his bed, staring at the ceiling, circling his hand in a 'let's wrap this up' motion and trying not to look anywhere in particular.

Bess laughed and turned back to Sirius. "I'll see you in the morning?"

He rubbed his nose against hers and whispered, "Don't go. Stay here tonight? We can talk?"

Bess smiled. She was used to spending the night in friends' rooms at university, spending the time talking or watching films, and for a moment she was tempted, until she remembered that this wasn't university, Sirius and her were no longer just friends, and students would talk.

She shook her head and said, "I can't. Not tonight."

He ducked his head and kissed her cheek before whispering, "Worth a shot."

"It's eleven thirty-two..." Remus called from his bed.

Bess laughed again and rolled her eyes. "Alright, alright," she said as she leant up to kiss Sirius on the tip of his nose. "I'll see you tomorrow."

Sirius nodded, and she could feel his eyes on her as she said bye to all of the boys and headed out the door with Lily.

Just before the door closed she heard a yell of triumph from Sirius, before James broke out in the start of what sounded like an awful rendition of a love song, which was punctuated by a loud groan that Bess assumed came from Remus, and rhythmic clapping, which she assumed was Peter.

Lily and Bess looked at each other for a moment before Bess whispered, "your one's the one singing..."

The girls managed to control their laughter until they got to the bottom of the stairs.

When they finally stopped laughing, Lily stepped forwards and drew Bess in to a tight hug. "Are you okay, Bess?"

"I'm..." Bess said quietly, drawing in a deep breath and squeezing Lily tighter.

"You're going to say you're not sure, but you will be fine, aren't you?"

"Yeah... it was just all... a lot, you know? I know you're all okay with it, but it's taken me months to feel like I could even start to explain what... what's been going on in my mind," Bess replied, still feeling sick about the fact that she still hadn't told them the whole truth.

"I can't begin to imagine, Bess," Lily said, pulling back and putting her hands on Bess' shoulders, "but we're all here for you. I thought I was going mad when I started getting my magic. It took a... friend... explaining it to me and helping me to get me to realise I was... gifted. And you've been doing all of this on your own for months. You must have been so lonely."

"How? I just... how? You're just so..." Bess shook her head, "you're so on the money. Even... I knew that Sirius was a Gryffindor, and I asked to be put in this House, and I was so terrified of everyone finding out and thinking it was only because of him that I asked to... Christ. Okay, I have to tell you. I- I did choose Gryffindor because of the books I read, but I did also choose it for... this is going to sound so stupid, but for... protection."

"Bess. Honestly? I get it. Even if you had only chosen it because Sirius was in here, it would have made sense. I don't think any of us really thought about the fact that we're the only people you know well, Professor Serpen and his partner aside," Lily said, tilting her head to the side and frowning.

"I feel like I've... conned Sirius in to this... whatever this is," Bess whispered as she hung her head.

Lily shook her head. "You haven't. He's... headstrong. He won't let you get away. He chose you."

"I don't know if he did..." Bess said, frowning.

"Bess... Do you remember when you first met Sirius?" Lily asked. She waited for Bess to nod before continuing, "James told me he only pushed Remus in to you in the street that day because Sirius couldn't keep his eyes off you from the minute you walked through from the Leaky Cauldron. James said Sirius called out to you but you didn't hear or something and were just about to walk past, so James did the first thing he could think of and shoved Remus at you."

"But they were laughing..."

"Yeah, they're all idiots. Honestly, I think they just wanted to act cool," Lily said with a small laugh. "Doesn't surprise me really."

"How do you know about this though?"

Lily bit her lip. "James... explained it to me on Friday while we were setting up for Sirius' party. I asked if Sirius was just... messing around. I didn't want you to get hurt again."

"Why?"

"Because... because honestly? I don't think these past few months would have been so enjoyable had you not been here. You're already... you're my best friend, Bess... if that's... if that's okay?"

Bess grinned, "honestly? I feel the same way. I've not known how to say anything..." she laughed and said, "this is... weird? Right?"

Lily laughed and nodded before moving back, and punching Bess lightly on the shoulder. "Love you, Bess."

Bess grinned brightly. "Love you, Lils."

"You sure you're okay?"

"Like I said-"

"I will be," they said in unison.

By the time they girls returned to their dorm, it was past midnight.

Bess slipped in to her bed and drew the curtains around her. Just before she fell asleep, she heard a fluttering and rolled her eyes, drawing back the curtain an inch.

The parchment bird sat on her hand and she tapped it with her wand. She grinned as she read the note, and fell asleep with it grasped in her hand.

I love you.

xXx

The next morning, Lily, who had a prefect meeting before breakfast, had woken Bess just before she left.

Bess had rolled over and gone back to sleep, waking up slightly later than usual.

She was still so tired, it was only the note in her hand that spurred her on to get ready - she wanted to see Sirius.

The previous night, she'd woken from a nightmare about Horcruxes, re-read his note, and then spent the rest of the night dreaming about him.

Although she knew they still had a lot to chat about, and as much as she knew she was keeping things from him, when she woke up, she couldn't think about anything other than her want- no, need- to be in his arms again.

She made it down to the common room in record time. The boys were normally late for breakfast, so she thought she might meet him there, but when Remus trudged downstairs, he said Sirius and James had already left, so Bess settled for walking to the Great Hall with Remus. He'd apparently been too ill to attend the prefect's meeting, and Lily was taking notes for him.

They were walking down the sixth floor corridor when Remus broke their morning silence, saying, "Sorry I'm not..."

"Six foot two, black hair, grey eyes, cocky demeanor...?" Bess said with a grin.

"Exactly."

She shook her head and pursed her lips. "That's alright. Any other day I think I'd enjoy your company more than his first thing in the morning, but today... do you think he's-"

Remus' voice cut over hers. "Look, I know you're excited, but could you at least slow down? I'm really tired," he said with a groan.

Bess stopped and waited for him to catch up. "Christ, sorry, I didn't think. Bad night?"

"Bit rough, yeah. I should've stayed in the hospital wing but James made me come back."

Her eyes widened. "What? Why?"

Remus didn't answer verbally, and instead just gestured towards Bess.

She gasped and sent him an apologetic look. "I'm so sorry, I didn't even think!"

"It's fine. Really. Sirius really wanted to see you, and James said he couldn't wait. So he arranged for me to get out a little early," he said, ending with a shrug.

"James can be really... intense... can't he?"

"I think he'll even out soon. He thinks getting Sirius and you together is a fun distraction for the romantic in him. Probably what happens when you're head over heels for a girl who hates your guts."

"She doesn't," Bess said quickly.

"They had an argument last night!" Remus said with a laugh.

Bess shrugged and pursed her lips as she readjusted her bag strap. "Maybe he just has to change tacts?"

Remus smiled. "What would you suggest?"

"They get along fine when they're just talking and hanging out, don't they?"

"Yeah..."

"So maybe he just has to stop asking her out for a bit, keep up the friendship stuff and then..."

"And then?"

"Ugh. I don't want to betray Lily's trust so I'll just reiterate that she doesn't hate him and leave it at that."

Remus nodded, and they walked in silence for a little bit before Bess asked, "But honestly, where is Sirius?"

Remus grinned and shook his head. "If you wanted a quiet life, you'd have stayed away from him... he's not the most... introverted person..."

"Oh Christ. What's he planning? Remus... What is he planning?" Bess asked with wide eyes.

"I can't say," Remus said, before clicking his tongue.

"What can you say? And remember, you're limping..." Bess said, before motioning towards his leg.

"You know... you and Sirius are very alike..." Remus said with a quick laugh. They both knew she wouldn't do anything to him.

But still, Bess didn't answer and just raised her eyebrow.

Remus sighed. "Okay, I can't tell you anything, I'm sworn to secrecy, but... you did issue a challenge..."

"What? No I didn't!" Bess cried.

"'You're Sirius Black. You declare-'" Remus said, putting on a fake girl's voice and gesturing wildly before Bess cut him off.

"Oh shit. No! Oh my god. What is it Remus? What's he going to do?" Bess asked, stepping in front of Remus and staring at him with a worried expression on her face.

"I really can't say..." Remus said, walking around her and moving down the hallway slowly.

Bess' groaned before following him, and spent the rest of the walk looking over her shoulder and peeking around every corner.

When they reached the Entrance Hall she stopped before the doors to the Great Hall and grimaced. "Can you just go in and get me a croissant or something?"

"Oh come on! It won't be that bad!" Remus laughed.

"It might be!"

"Alright?" Came Sirius' voice behind Bess.

She screamed slightly and jumped in the air. As she turned to glare at Sirius, Remus laughed and walked on, leaving them alone in the near deserted Entrance Hall.

"What's wrong, love?" Sirius asked quietly, moving closer to her.

"What's... Remus told me..."

"Told you what...?" He asked, cocking his head to the side, a half smile on his face. She realised he was playing with her.

"That I issued a challenge..." she said, looking around nervously.

"Don't know what you're talking about, love..." he said, raising an eyebrow, a smirk still on his face.

"I hate you," she said quietly, before turning and beginning to walk towards the gigantic wooden doors.

She heard Sirius bark out a laugh a second before she felt his hand snake around her waist, and felt herself being spun around.

Before she could focus on his hands which had made their way to her lower back and up to cup her jaw, and even before she could register her chest slamming in to his, she saw him lean down and felt him capture her lips with his.

She'd waited so long for this moment, and it felt incredible. It was just as spontaneous as she'd dreamed, and just as passionate.

Before she knew what she was doing, she'd buried one of her hands in his hair, and was fisting the fabric of his shirt and jumper at his chest in her other, pulling him even closer as she returned his kiss eagerly.

After what felt like a millennia, Sirius pulled away, panting slightly, and rested his forehead against hers. "Merlin... skip Defence with me?" He asked, before kissing her again.

When he pulled away, Bess replied in a whisper, "I can't. I actually need that class..."

Sirius frowned, and kissed her again impatiently.

When he pulled away he said, "Fine. Second period? You've got a free then, right?"

Bess nodded.

"Good. I'm officially commandeering you," he whispered, before capturing Bess' lips in yet another deep, toe-curlingly good kiss.

"Are you free this evening?" She asked as he finally pulled back again.

Sirius sighed deeply and shook his head. "Detention. Whole week's worth I think."

"How? Why?"

Sirius just grinned and nodded towards the Great Hall. Bess groaned and turned to peer into the hall. "There's nothing there..." she whispered, frowning.

Sirius swept his hair out of his eyes before turning her around so her back was to his chest, and wrapping his arms around her waist, pushing her forwards.

As they passed the entrance, fireworks burst from every corner of the room, and exploded from behind the Professors' table.

Bess groaned and turned to kiss Sirius on the chin, shielding herself from seeing the reactions of the students and staff.

"Sorry love, couldn't resist."

Bess sighed and shook her head. "I really do hate you."

Chapter Text

In the end, Sirius did spent the next week in detention for setting off hundreds of fireworks in the Great Hall, as he scared the living daylights out of several students and Professors Flitwick and Sprout, even though they did see the funny side in the end.

So Bess and Sirius stole hours together where they could, dodging in to empty corridors and classrooms, and finding secret places in the grounds to explore during their free periods, though Sirius still hadn't managed to get Bess in to a broom closet.

They had tried to keep their relationship on the down low, as Bess put it, so that they could have time to work things out, but after the first few days, when Sirius couldn't help but kiss her at every opportunity, Bess had resigned herself to the fact that the whole school would be party to their PDAs, and had just had to try and tone them down somewhat rather than stop them completely.

Not that she was complaining - every moment she spent with Sirius was like heaven on earth. Though she'd been incredibly embarrassed when Jasper had figured it out during their Thursday Defence Against the Dark Arts class and sent her a look and a wink before he left their class.

Cuddled together in the evenings once Sirius returned from his detentions, they'd talked at length about what Sirius had done, and about Bess' worries over both of their safety.

She'd explained that she thought the Death Eaters had been coming for her when Snape had attacked her, and although she was glad he'd not been after her because she survived what had happened at Christmas, she couldn't be sure they wouldn't try to finish the job one day.

She'd even mentioned her meeting with Dumbledore, and said that if she could remember what happened to her, maybe she'd be able to do something to help, whether that be with the war, or giving information on the people who hurt her.

Sirius had reiterated James' warning and asked her to be careful next time she tried to remember something.

However, they hadn't talked about their relationship, and their wants and needs other than to confirm that they were now together, and neither of them was thinking of this as just a short term thing.

And because they avoided that conversation, they quickly hit a major snag.

At one point towards the end of their second week together, and eager to see Sirius before his next detention, Bess had accidentally interrupted a private conversation between the boys, and Peter had asked her to leave, just as he had that day at dinner in the first week of term.

She'd apologised and walked off, and even though Sirius had admonished Peter and run after her, she'd told him to go back to the boys.

She'd felt incredibly upset, and rejected by her friends, and had decided in a fit of upset, that from then on she'd just wait for him to come to her if he wanted to see her - she didn't want to interrupt his life too much, and she'd convinced herself that evidently she had no tact, and didn't know where to draw the line.

Which is why, that weekend, Bess found herself in hot water with her best friend.

"Is this fair?" Lily asked as they sat in the library, rain pelting the windows as they studied. Bess had explained her plan, but Lily wasn't happy.

"I don't know, but I have so much stuff I have to do and so much magic I have to learn, and I don't want to take up too much of Sirius' time because I know what it's like to not have enough time with the people you love! I don't know what the big deal is. If he wants to see me, he'll just come to me."

"They're not dying, Bess! They're off gallivanting around the castle! Sirius shouldn't have all the power in the relationship!"

Bess winced. She couldn't help but think no, they're not dying, but they might.

She shook her head and tried to get rid of the horrible thought. "He doesn't though."

"Right, so telling him that he can drop in on you when he fancies it isn't giving him all the power?"

"Well what am I mean to do? It's not like I've spent five years learning the dynamics of your lives here, is it?" Bess asked in an annoyed whisper, putting her quill down on her parchment and leaning forwards. "I don't want to lose him because I'm being..." she didn't want to say needy, but couldn't think of the right word.

"If you lose him because he's being an arse, that's his fault, isn't it?"

"But he's not! I suggested it!"

"Who's not, and suggested what?" James asked as Sirius and he walked up to their table.

Bess sat back in her chair and shook her head as she picked up her quill and tried to find her place again. "Nothing," she said, with an edge to her voice.

Lily sighed loudly, looked up at James, and said, "Please leave, we're in the middle of a private conversation."

"Well that's harsh," James replied, his face falling as he came to a stop in front of their table.

"And that's exactly how Bess felt when Peter told her to leave yesterday," Lily replied stonily.

"Lily," Bess hissed, glaring at her friend.

"Well it's true, isn't it?" Lily asked, hitting her fist against the table lightly.

"Lily, this is none of your business, and it was already sorted out," Bess replied just as stonily.

"Really? So you told Sirius you're coming to Slughorn's party with me tonight so you can't see him, did you?"

Bess opened and closed her mouth. She'd completely forgotten she'd promised to go to Slughorn's latest soiree. "That's tonight? I'm so sorry, I didn't think... It's just, Slughorn has parties like every week..."

"And he has detentions like every day," Lily said, flicking her wand to send all of her things in to her backpack before swinging it over her shoulder, "you need to work out how you're going to handle this relationship, because I'm not losing you because you're stubborn to see that if you're always on Sirius' timetable, you'll never have time for yourself. I've seen it happen before, and I'm not going to let it happen again," she whispered angrily before stalking off.

Bess dropped her head to her hands and let out a strangled frustrated cry. She knew she was being stupid, an awful friend, and could see Lily's point of view. It had only been around two weeks since she and Sirius had become an official couple, and she'd already spent most of her free time with him, and had forgotten that she was meant to spend the evening with Lily. She felt awful.

"What was that?" Sirius asked, sitting down in front of her as James slowly dropped in to the seat next to him.

"Honestly? We need to set some boundaries in our relationship, and Lily's right, it can't always be on your terms, Sirius, even though I said it should be. Sometimes I'm going to want to be in the library, or with my friends, and sometimes you're going to want to be off with your friends, but we need to find a way of making sure we're equal in this," Bess said with a sigh.

Sirius sent James off and took Bess' hands in his, "Love, I should slot in to your life and vice versa. But at the same time, I'm always here if you need me. Ignore Peter, he's just being a dick, and don't worry about Lily, she'll come round. We just need to make a plan."

In the end, they decided to carve out time together without impacting their friends too much, which meant a few changes, like, but not at all limited to: dinners, where they brought their two friendship groups together (even Solstice's boyfriend couldn't be annoyed that she was sat with Sirius when his girlfriend was sat right next to them); Bess' library visits were only interrupted occasionally by Sirius' appearance to steal a moment or two with her before he went off on an adventure with James; and Sirius taught Bess how to send notes throughout the castle so he'd always be contactable outside of detentions.

They'd decided equity was key, and so far, it was working well. They'd managed to strike a happy balance between being together and being independent.

xXx

Two and a half weeks later, at the start of the second week of December, Bess, who was sat at the breakfast table with Sirius' arm wrapped around her waist as he chatted to his friends and she read her new Transfiguration textbook, heard a timid squeak from behind her.

"Sorry, are you Bess Coulson?"

Bess turned to see a little brown haired first year boy with large glasses and a worried expression on his face. "That's me..."

"Professor Dumbledore asked me to give you this..." he said, trailing off and handing her a letter with a shaking hand. When she took it, he immediately ran back over to the Hufflepuff table.

Opening the letter with a spare butter knife, Bess read:

Miss Coulson,

Please come to my office at seven o'clock this evening. We have much to discuss.

Professor Dumbledore

"...we have much to discuss? Do you think he heard anything?" Sirius whispered in Bess' ear.

She'd told him that she might be summoned by Dumbledore if he heard something about her past.

She shook her head and pursed her lips, re-reading the note. It had been over a month since she'd spoken to Dumbledore and shared the overview of what she knew, and she'd not had any correspondence with him since. "Not sure..."

"Do you want me to drop you off?" Sirius asked quietly, before placing a kiss on her cheek.

She felt a flutter of unease - she really didn't like lying to him - but schooled her features and just said, "Thank you, but no. I have a feeling these are going to become more Regulus... and I don't think Dumbledore would appreciate my boyfriend dropping me off every time!"

"Love... did you just..." Sirius said, trailing off and frowning, "did you just say your meetings would become more Regulus?"

Bess cocked her head to the side before breaking out in to a giant grin. "I've been doing that for three days, how have you only just noticed?"

"Thought it was just me hearing things. Three days? Really?" He replied with a chuckle before leaning in to peck her on the lips.

"I also keep saying 'why so Sirius' but I don't think James has picked up on it yet..."

Sirius grinned and rubbed his nose against hers. "You sure you don't need me to drop you off?"

"Yes," Bess said as she put her things in her bag and swinging her legs over the bench before standing, "and in any case, it's boy's night tonight, and I just saw a redhead who I have to cancel plans with. So I'll see you properly tomorrow?"

Sirius grinned and nodded as she leant down and kissed him deeply. When she stood up straight she saw James pretending to jab his fork into his eyes, and Remus trying not to laugh behind his goblet. Peter was, she noticed, staring at a seventh year Hufflepuff girl and drooling slightly.

She rolled her eyes at James' display but didn't say anything - she'd decided that anything that made Remus laugh today was good - it was the full moon today, and he'd been looking rough all weekend.

Stalking off to find Lily, she smiled to herself - things were going great and she was looking forward to her meeting with Dumbledore later.

She was excited to find out what he thought they should do next.

xXx

At seven o'clock that evening, Bess found herself inside Professor Dumbledore's office again, with the painting of Professor Phineas Nigellus Black once again blind folded and wearing mufflers.

As she waited for Dumbledore to finish his work, she found herself imagining the boys running down to the Whomping Willow while she sat awkwardly in Dumbledore's office, trying not to eat his entire bowl of sugar quills.

Before she could sneak any more than five quills, Dumbledore finished his correspondence and looked up at her over his half moon spectacles.

"I thought tonight we would try to find a way of finding the diary and the cup" Dumbledore said, leaning forwards in his chair. "I think it would be best if we waited to find the ring for now, as you mentioned that Voldemort would go to the shack first if he sensed his Horcruxes were in danger?"

Bess nodded.

"Good," Dumbledore said firmly, before looking over at a cabinet. Bess recognised it as the one containing his pensieve and wondered what memories he'd managed to collect in the past month. "I think I have found a way to find out where the other two are."

"Really? How?" Bess asked eagerly.

"Have you tried to remember any details from the book series you mentioned to me?" He asked, putting a weird emphasis on book series.

Bess shook her head. "Not really... I've tried to remember the answers to things like 'which students are future Death Eaters," she said, watching as Dumbledore raised his eyebrows, "but I was in so much pain from trying I had to stop."

"Pain?"

"Yes... when I try and force a memory, it feels like my head's about to explode. Well... it actually feels like my whole body's about to explode... but the pain's worse in my head, and my vision goes."

Dumbledore pursed his lips. "Have you tried this a lot?"

"No, only once."

"Would you try to remember again?"

"What do you mean?"

"Would you try to remember something? To... as you put it, force a memory?" Dumbledore asked quietly.

"I don't... I don't know... like I said, I haven't tried it since the last time," Bess replied apprehensively.

"Bess, this may be the only way we can find the remaining two Horcruxes. I do not want to ask this of you, but I think that you will need to try and remember who Voldemort entrusted the Horcruxes to, and where they would have hidden them."

"Professor, I already told you who has them in nineteen-eighty-one and where they are then. I don't-"

"Bess, this is your decision. You don't have to do anything you don't want to," Dumbledore said, clasping his hands together. "But if I am correct, this will be the quickest way to find them."

Bess sighed and frowned. She didn't want to try, she knew how painful it would be and it had taken her hours to get over it last time she'd pushed too far.

However, she knew that Dumbledore was right. They needed to know where the other two Horcruxes were if they were to defeat Voldemort, and she was the only one who could know that - if only she could remember when Voldemort gave them to Lucius and Bellatrix.

A second later, she thought of Sirius and what he would go through if she failed.

So instead of refusing, she just nodded and reached forwards to take a sip of her water.

Settling back in her chair, Bess pursed her lips and began to try to remember where the black diary was kept. She focussed on its size, its colour, its pages, until she began to think about Ginny, and the Chamber of the Secrets, and on and on she went, retracing the second Harry Potter book, trying to remember if she'd missed any important facts.

As she tried to focus more and more, she found the dull ache in the back of her head begin to move forwards.

And as she thought about Flourish and Blotts, and Gilderoy Lockhart, Bess began to see black spots.

Just like the time she'd tried to force a memory before her last meeting with Dumbledore, pain quickly overtook her.

She began to gasp and her heartbeat escalated.

She was about to stop trying as she felt the pain rush over her like a wave and begin to pulse.

Just as she felt herself being pulled under and tried to stop searching her mind, she heard Professor Dumbledore say, "keep trying, Bess."

So she did.

And she was rewarded with more pain that she'd ever felt in her life.

She could hear someone screaming.

It was irritating, and it hurt her ears, but she couldn't move from the pain pulsing through her, and she couldn't tell the person to shut up.

Such pain... she could feel her hands clutching to her head, tears streaming down her face, blood trickling from her fists as she dug her nails in to her palms, but nothing would stop it.

Just when she thought she couldn't take any more, the black spots overtook her eyesight and suddenly everything went dark.

xXx

For a moment, Bess thought she might have fainted - she felt no pain. But when she opened her eyes, she realised wasn't on the floor of Dumbledore's study anymore.

The ceiling above her was dark.

Rather than made by stone, like Dumbledore's office, it looked like it was made from Mahogany, with beams running the length of the room.

Bess groaned as she sat up slowly, her hand moving to her head which felt fuzzy. Her vision was blurry, and she could only make out details of things if she really concentrated.

She made a mental note to never suggest pulling a prank on James which involved stealing his glasses. Having bad vision like this was too disorientating.

It took her a few moments to right herself before she began to look around the room, trying to focus.

The room was large, with a gigantic rug lain across the floor. It had an intricate design which reminded Bess of the Bayeux Tapestry which she'd studied in primary school.

The walls were covered in panelling and what looked like gold leaf, and it seemed whoever had decorated had spared no expense.

As she got to her feet, she turned to take a better look at the features of the room. As she did, she gasped slightly, and clapped a hand to her mouth.

In front of her stood two figures. She narrowed her eyes to focus, and realised they were two men, talking to each other in hushed whispers. They seemed to be arguing over something, though Bess couldn't hear what they were saying.

"Who are you?" She asked quietly, as she tried to step backwards, looking around the room for an exit.

When neither man answered, she frowned.

"Who. Are. You?" She asked again, this time louder.

Again, neither man moved, or indicated that they knew she was there.

She stopped moving, and instead looked closer, trying to make out more details.

The two men were standing in front of a beautiful and rather large fireplace. The mantlepiece seemed to have been carved out of a single piece of marble, and contained a roaring fire.

They were dressed in rather formal black robes - the younger man's were peppered with bright silver embroidery, whereas the older wizard's were stitched in green.

As the younger man turned away, facing in to the room and therefore towards Bess, her eyes widened and she clapped her hand over her mouth again to try and muffle her yell.

They both had white-blonde hair, while the younger had grey eyes, pale skin, and a sneer that could curdle milk.

Lucius Malfoy.

Bess realised with a start that he could neither hear nor see her, when he walked towards her and... after a moment... walked straight through her.

She stared between the two men frantically, trying to figure out which one she should stay with, before she felt herself being tugged by an invisible force in the direction the younger man had gone.

She ran to try and catch up with him, and fell in to step behind him as he strode purposefully across the incredibly large entrance hall which housed a beautiful marble staircase, and in to another room.

This time, the room's walls were laden with books.

Malfoy Library.

She stared around the room in horror and awe before she noticed the young man stop in front of a rather large collection of old books in the far corner.

Running to get over to him in time, she managed to stand to his side just as he withdrew a black book from his pocket.

Bess recognised it immediately as Tom Riddle's diary.

She watched as Lucius pulled out a rather large tome entitled, 'Creatures of Britain and Their Habitats,' hollowed it out using his wand, and placed the small black book inside it, before placing the larger book back on to the shelf.

He swallowed nervously and pulled out a beautiful silver fob watch.

Bess, who had asked Sirius to teach her how to read wizarding watches just two weeks previously, stared down at the hands, her eyes widening as she took in the date before Lucius closed the silver case and placed it back in his pocket.

As he turned to leave, she reached out a hand to try and touch the book, but before she could get anywhere near it, she felt a yank in the back of her head, and the world she was in fell away.

Her vision faded to black once more.

xXx

This time, when Bess woke up again, she knew she was back in Dumbledore's office.

The pain which had gone while she was at the manor, returned with a vengeance and was like fire, burning every part of her over and over again.

At some point in the time she'd been gone, she realised, she'd fallen to the ground, and was writhing around on the floor.

As her hearing came back, she realised the screaming was still going, and she was just about to ask Dumbledore to stop whoever it was, when she realised it was her.

She could feel the older wizard's hands holding on to her wrists tightly as she thrashed.

She could hear him calling her name in a panicked voice.

It took her, from her count, around seven minutes for the pain to lessen enough for her to stop screaming.

It was another five before she stopped writhing.

And another five after that before she could open her eyes and take in the stone ceiling and the faces of old Headmasters and Headmistresses staring down at her in horror, fear, worry, and compassion.

When Bess had calmed down enough to stop writhing and trying to claw at her own face, Dumbledore had released her and slunk back to sit on the floor with his back to his desk, staring at her as she regained her mind.

Finally, almost twenty minutes after Bess had felt herself pulled back in to her body, Dumbledore spoke.

"Bess... I must apologise. When you said pain, I could never have imagined..."

Bess felt a single tear fall down her cheek, mingling with sweat and blood.

She managed to choke out, "I know where the diary will be in August Nineteen Seventy-Eight," before she succumbed to the darkness once more.

Chapter Text

Bess woke up hours later, her whole body aching as she shook slightly from tremors still wracking her body.

She was still in Dumbledore's office, though when she woke up this time, she was being tended to by Madam Pomfrey, and she was lying on a rather comfortable sofa which reminded her of the ones in the Gryffindor common room.

"Drink this," the matron said, as she shoved a rather large pain potion at Bess.

She sat up and pinched her nose before downing the potion in only two incredibly large gulps. She always thought pain potions were funny things, as they tended to inflict a burning in her throat every time she'd drink one, so it felt like the physical embodiment of the old adage, 'no pain no gain'.

"I don't want to know what you were doing, trying to push past a memory charm like that, but I have to say, Bess, if you try again... I don't know what will happen."

Bess nodded and muttered, "Thank you," before lying back against the cushions. She watched as Madam Pomfrey spoke to Professor Dumbledore for a moment, before looking at the time and rushing off.

When Bess looked over at the large clock, she realised it was already five o'clock in the morning, and Remus would be changing back in to his original form within three hours. The boys would either be on their way back to the castle at the moment, or already tucked up in bed.

"How long have I been out?" Bess asked quietly, as Dumbledore passed her a goblet of water.

"Several hours. I had a feeling that you wouldn't appreciate waking up in the Hospital Wing, so I called Madam Pomfrey here. Unfortunately, it has taken most of the night to revive you."

"Why? I don't... I don't understand what happened," Bess said, rubbing a hand to her forehead. Her vision was still slightly blurry and her head felt hazy.

"I think it would be best if you were to explain to me what you think happened first?"

"I... I woke up in... a memory I think? But... but it was in the future... that sounds ridiculous I know. But it was almost like a... a reverse Pensieve?"

"You know what a Pensieve is?"

"Yes Professor. In the books you, uh- you show Harry memories of the First Wizarding War and the aftermath, amongst other things."

"Do I really?" Dumbledore said to himself as he walked back around his desk, sitting elegantly in his large wooden chair. "Did you see anything while you were in this... other place?"

"Yes. Voldemort will give the diary to Lucius Malfoy, and he'll keep it at Malfoy Manor," she said, before taking another sip of her goblet.

Her throat wasn't as painful as it had been, but the burn was still there, and she was still shaking as if she were cold. The ache in the rest of her body had subsided now, and she just felt a little stiff.

"When?"

"He'll hide it on the Twentieth of August Nineteen Seventy-Eight."

"You're certain?" Dumbledore asked quietly, putting his hands together in front of him.

"Yes. I saw the date when he checked his watch."

Dumbledore's eyes widened just enough for Bess to notice it, before his face settled back in to a calm demeanour. "You were close enough to read his watch?"

"Yes. Like I said, it was like I was there, but everything was blurry. I could only focus on a few things at a time," Bess said quickly, sitting forwards in her chair.

"How did you know where you were when you awoke?"

Bess gulped. "I... recognised one of the rooms."

"From where?"

"I just did..." she said, trailing off. Bess didn't want to explain what would happen to Hermione in that room in twenty years' time, if she didn't manage to stop things. "We need to get it before New Years' Eve that year though."

"Why?"

"Because he's going to create another one, and if we don't get to that one in time, someone else will take it."

"Who will take it?"

Bess pursed her lips and shrugged. "I'm sorry, I don't know yet."

Dumbledore frowned deeply and looked down at the papers in front of him.

After a few moments of silence, Bess asked what was on her mind. "Professor, how did you know I would be able to see something if I pushed through the pain?"

Dumbledore's frown deepened, until at last he looked up at Bess. "I believe this is a matter for anothe-"

"Professor, please. I need to know. I'm over seventeen and I'm a member of the Order of the Phoenix."

Dumbledore, who must have remembered that Bess, of course, was not a member of the order yet, turned a blind eye to this fact, and simply said, "I believe that you are a seer."

Bess frowned. "No I'm not. I'm- I'm not- I was taken-"

"Bess. I know you believe you were taken from your own world and brought here, but that kind of magic is... I don't even know if it's possible. I believe that the pain you feel when you try to see something is the pain you felt that night that you were attacked, maybe even ten fold."

"Honestly, Professor, I'm not from here. I- I was- Christ, it sounds crazy, but I really was taken from my world and put in to these books..."

"So you are saying that the night that Daphne Elizabeth Coulson was murdered, she managed to pull another consciousness from an alternate reality, where we are all merely background characters in a book series?"

"I- I guess?"

"Bess," Dumbledore said with a sigh, "I have spent the last month gathering as much information as I could on you, and I finally believe we have made a breakthrough. You see, I have tracked down everyone who knew of your existence, and asked them about you. At first I dismissed any notions of you being gifted, but as the third and fourth report was given...

"Bess, you were an incredibly gifted seer. One of the strongest in centuries... Lucas was teaching you how to hone your powers. I believe that you are still able to harness that power, though it will come at great cost to you."

"Wait... so I... actually saw in to the future?"

"In a way, yes, I believe that is exactly what occurred. However, after witnessing that display, I would implore you to never do it again. I did not realise that the memory charm covered your abilities as well. They are intertwined, and if you try to use your power too many times, I worry that you would never recover from the mental and physical toll."

Although Bess didn't want Dumbledore to think she was Daphne, and therefore had her powers, she didn't know how to reiterate her rather... delicate... circumstances, and therefore simply nodded and sat back in her chair, thinking.

Dumbledore had said something which was playing on her mind - "she managed to pull another consciousness from an alternate reality". Bess pondered this for five minutes before the Professor stood, saying that he thought she should try and get some sleep before her classes began at eight thirty.

Bess, who had been hoping for a reprieve from her classes that day, groaned and stood up, swaying slightly on the spot. She leant down and gripped the chair in front of her for a moment to steady herself, before her feeling came back in to her legs and she trudged off towards the door.

"Bess?" Dumbledore asked.

Bess, who had reached the door and had her hand on the handle, turned back and said, "Yes, Professor?"

"If anyone asks, I think it would be best if you simply said that I tried to explain some of the more... intricate... details of the night you were attacked, and you had a flashback."

"Oh, uh- thank you sir, I wouldn't have thought about that..."

"Alas, I do not think you will be thanking me in a moment. Please," Dumbledore said, before gesturing towards the door. Bess took that as he cue to leave, and she stepped on to the first step of the stone staircase.

As it moved down, the gargoyle moved out of the way, and revealed a rather pissed off Sirius behind it, his jaw was clenched and his nostrils flaring as he leant against the wall, staring at the space where the gargoyle had just been. He looked as tired as Bess felt.

Bess gulped and walked down the remaining steps, coming to a stop in front of the taller boy.

"WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?" He whisper shouted at her.

"Sirius, please," Bess whined, swaying slightly on the spot and reaching up a hand to her forehead.

"No. You heard what James said about what would happen if you kept trying to push past that bloody memory charm. I reminded you last night. Lily reminded you weeks ago when you were downing pain potions. There's no way you went in to that room not knowing what would happen if you tried to push your memory," Sirius said in a quieter, but furious tone, "so I'll ask you again. What. Were. You. Thinking?"

"Dumbledore asked-"

"No. I honestly don't care about him right now. I want to know why you thought it was the smart thing to do to try and kill yourself so you could get, what? A memory? What was it? What was so important?"

"How do you even-?"

"How do you think? Poppy told us. James was... hurt... last night, and needed a potion. Imagine my surprise when there was no one in the Hospital Wing, and when she returned, Poppy casually mentioned that she was with an injured pupil in Dumbledore's office. It didn't take a curse breaker to work out who it was. Now, what happened?"

"Sirius, I can't-"

"Yes you can. If you love me, and if you really value this relationship, you can and you will," he snapped, glaring at her.

Bess groaned in frustration and looked up at the ceiling for a moment. "That's not fair! I told you there would be things I couldn't discuss!"

"Yeah, and muggins over here thought they'd be about what you told us about your Muggle life, not about you having a fucking death wish!"

"Sirius..."

"Bess," he spat out, and Bess winced slightly.

She bit her lip and looked down. "You don't understand."

"No, you're right. I don't... because if you really cared about me and you, why would you do this to yourself? You know what will happen if you push too much. I will lose you."

Bess was angry - he'd used her feelings against her, and she didn't care how upset he was. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks as she snapped back, "Where were you last night then hey? Somewhere bad enough for James to be injured! You don't see me complaining about that! I trust you."

"And I trust you too, but I'm not the one trying to kill themselves for a fucking memory! Poppy was here all night trying to wake you up!"

Bess clenched her jaw for a moment and made a mental note to never share any information that she didn't want the boys to know with Madam Pomfrey, before replying, "No, you don't understand. If I don't try and remember-"

"What? What will happen, Bess? You'll go one month without being in pain? Without being a martyr? You'll live a happy life with me? Or are you saying your life right now is so bad you need to be reminded of what it was like before? Is it not good enough? Am I not?" He said, and Bess realised that his anger was coming from a place of hurt.

Bess' eyebrows pulled together as she whined and moved forwards to place her hands on Sirius' top, grabbing on to the fabric and staring up at him with wide eyes. "No! Sirius, that's not what this is. You have to know that. That's-"

Sirius' upset and anger didn't dissipate at all, as he hissed, "What Bess? Tell me! What will happen if you don't try and remember?"

"Sirius, I can't-"

"Tell me!" He whisper shouted again.

With tears streaming down her face, she whisper-yelled back, "I can't!"

There was silence in the hall for a moment and Bess closed her eyes. She thought this was the end, this was how they would break up, and was just thinking about how precious their time together had been, when she felt his arms move around her, pulling her firmly to his chest as he whispered, "Why?"

"It's not- I can't tell you what I'm trying to remember, but I promise you, Dumbledore and I have had a chat and this won't happen again."

"Bess, why? Why did you do it?" Sirius asked quietly, the fight leaving him completely.

"I- I remember important things sometimes, about life here, like... remember I told you about the girls' dorm stairs turning in to a slide?" She asked, mumbling in to his chest. She felt him nod and continued. "But other times I have to push, like last night."

"Last night? Why? Why did you have to?" He whimpered, and she could feel his tears on her shoulder as he adjusted her in his arms and buried his face in her neck.

"I'm so sorry, but I can't talk about it, because it's about the war," she whispered.

"Bess, you're hurting yourself, and I hate it. I can't stand it. I- I- I'm sorry."

Before she could answer, Dumbledore's voice rang out from behind Bess. "Miss Coulson? Mr. Black?"

The couple quickly wiped away their tears and stood up straight. Sirius looked suddenly incredibly embarrassed that he'd been caught crying.

"Professor," Sirius grunted.

"Professor," Bess replied with a sniff.

"I couldn't help but overhear your... conversation... and I just wanted to say that it was not my intention to put Bess in harm's way. Unfortunately, I reminded Miss Coulson of something, and she had a... physical flashback."

"What? You reminded... a flashback to what?" Sirius asked, placing a protective hand on Bess' back as she frowned at the older wizard.

"From her... adverse reaction... a physical flashback to what happened the night she was attacked. Bess? What did it feel like?"

"I don't... I- it felt like I was... on fire."

"The cruciatus curse," Sirius whispered, pulling her more securely to his side.

Dumbledore nodded. "I must apologise. I thought it would help to tell you more about your case, but I do not think that it has."

"Why are you... why are you explaining this, Professor?" Bess asked, trying to understand why he was trying to cover for her.

Dumbledore simply shook his head, and said, "I will let you recover, Bess. Please take care of her, Mr. Black."

They were silent for a minute as they watched Dumbledore walk out of sight. When he was gone, Sirius pulled Bess back around, and wrapped both his arms around her.

"Bess, I'm sorry. I- I shouldn't have-"

Bess, who completely empathised with Sirius' reaction - if he'd put himself in harm's way for seemingly no reason she too would have shouted at him - simply cuddled in closer and shook her head, saying, "No, please. You're right. I pushed. I didn't have to, but I did. Dumbledore asked me to try and focus on something, and I did. When he said to keep going, I did, and it triggered something. I- it makes sense that it had such a bad physical reaction. But I couldn't see who was doing it to me."

"I'm sorry."

Bess tried not to grimace. She was lying to him, and she hated that he felt awful for being mad, when if he knew the whole truth of it... "No. Please don't be. You have every right to be upset and angry with my actions. Please don't feel bad. I get it, I do. I put myself in this position."

"I just- I just-"

Bess stepped back slightly and cupped his face in her hands. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt or worry you."

Sirius shook his head. "No, I'm sorry. I just can't lose you to something preventable like this. I just-"

"Trust me, the feeling's mutual."

You have no idea what I would do to keep you safe, she thought as she pulled him down in to a kiss, which he responded to desperately.

Before she knew what she was doing, she had been swept away in the feeling of Sirius' lips on hers, and heard a slight thump as she pushed him back to the wall.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, trying to get as close to him as possible.

The pain and ache in her throat and limbs faded to the background as she kissed him hungrily, long deep kisses merging in to short ones.

She smiled as she nipped at his bottom lip and he groaned in response, and pushed herself even closer to him.

She felt his arms move, adjusting her slightly, pulling her on to her tip toes, one of his hands sliding in to the back pocket of her jeans as his arm wrapped around her waist, pulling her even closer.

Finally, after what felt like hours, Sirius pulled away and stared down at her with wide eyes.

"Whoa. What was that, love?" He asked, panting slightly.

"Sorry..." she whispered, staring at his lips.

"Trust me, no complaints here. I just- I really am sorry."

Bess looked up, brown eyes meeting grey, and she shook her head. "Stop. Sirius... you were right to be angry, I really do believe that. And I'm kind of glad you were. Not because I like fighting, because I don't, but because... it's hard to explain, but... it's nice to see you... how did you put it the first time? Oh yeah...

"It's fine... boys get... emotional sometimes."

Sirius broke out in to a wide smile and shook his head. "I don't think I said it exactly like that..."

"I think you did..."

"Merlin. Do you remember that night? I don't think I've ever outsmarted Filch like that..."

"I don't think I've ever been so stupidly angry with someone..."

Sirius barked out a laugh, before putting on a high pitched voice, "Excuse me, can you tell me how to get to Professor McGonagall's office?"

Bess tried not to smile and whacked him on the arm.

When he stopped laughing, Sirius looked down at her and whispered, "I wanted to kiss you that night. Did you know?"

Bess stared at him and shook her head.

He stared in to the distance, a wide smile still on his face, and said, "I think it was the first time I'd seen you blush, I made you that mad. And Merlin... you get this gorgeous deep blush..."

Bess grinned up at him and pressed a kiss to his chin. "Sounds like you wouldn't mind it if I got angry sometimes..."

"Promises, promises..." he whispered with a smile before kissing her again.

By the time they pulled themselves apart, finished talking about their row, and made it to the common room, it was already seven-thirty in the morning, and they had a full day of classes ahead of them.

xXx

After they'd parted ways in the common room, Bess had gone for a rather long and hot shower which alleviated the last of her muscle aches, and spent a while standing in front of the mirror, looking at her appearance again.

She had lost some of her tan, so her brown skin now showed up her scars even more - they were healing nicely, but her larger scars were a dark brown colour, which stood out.

Luckily, it was winter, so she could cover up and not worry about anyone seeing them, but... she thought, there was one person she wanted to spend more alone time with who might find her scars off-putting.

She'd thought before about taking their relationship to the next level, but her scars had always stopped her. Not that Sirius was complaining, he'd not mentioned anything to her, and seemed incredibly happy as they were, but Bess was beginning to wonder...

Sol had started it - she'd casually dropped in to the conversation that Sirius had most definitely gone beyond kissing with a few girls. Bess, who had been worried she was more experienced than him, had been pleasantly surprised, but didn't tell anyone that.

And now, thinking back to their kiss outside of Dumbledore's office, Bess knew it was only a matter of time before she, for lack of a better phrase, jumped him...

She was so wrapped in her thoughts of him that she barely registered the warning bell ring, and had to high tail it out of the bathroom, get dressed, and run to her double Transfiguration class in record time.

She ran in just before the door shut and walked quickly to take her seat next to Lily, looking around for Professor McGonagall, who was luckily, nowhere to be seen. She was the last student to arrive, so she could feel everyone looking at her - she was usually one of the first.

"If Sirius hadn't got to you first..."

Bess turned to see Lily glaring. She groaned and put a hand to her forehead as she sat down heavily. She just whispered, "Please don't," before she finished tying her tie and pulled out some parchment, ink, and a quill.

As she looked around the class again, she saw that somehow, Sirius and James looked like they'd had tons of sleep that night, whereas Peter looked how she felt. Sirius sent her a small smile and she blew him a kiss.

She, luckily, had make up to cover the bags under her eyes, and had, at least, been unconscious for most of the night, not running around the forest and village with a werewolf.

However, she was just waiting for the slip up - whenever she was this tired (or drunk), she could be... outspoken. She just couldn't regulate what was said in her head and what was said out loud. It had been the reason she'd called Sirius a prick all those months ago, and it would probably land her in a detention now.

She was just wondering where McGonagall was when she saw a cat jump from the table at the front of the room and... transform in to the very witch.

Her eyes widened and her mouth dropped open. She couldn't stop the, "Holy fucking shit," that escaped her mouth.

She could hear the whole class descend in to laughter and giggles as McGonagall said sternly, "Miss Coulson. We do not use language like that in this classroom."

Bess, who couldn't help herself, she was so in shock and awe, gestured towards the Professor and said, "Mate... you were just a fucking cat..."

"Miss Coulson... I will have to take five points from Gryffindor for vulgar language."

"I mean, you read about it in books, and you know it's a thing, but christ, that was swish," Bess said, before finally shutting up.

She could tell Professor McGonagall was trying not to smile. Instead, she shook her head and said, "Today's lesson is going to be covering Human Transfiguration, so I thought we'd start off with a demonstration," before trying to shush the class, who were still laughing.

Bess looked to Lily, wondering if she was angry with her for losing house points, but found her friend bright red, and struggling for breath.

When she caught her eye, Lily wheezed, "Ma-a-ate. You were just a fu-fucking CAT!" before doubling over, holding her stomach as she laughed.

Bess hung her head and tried not to smile.

Once McGonagall had finally got the class under control, she asked, "You should all know this, so I'm expecting to see a lot of hands. Can anyone tell me what an Animagus is?"

She heard Sirius call out from the back, "a witch or wizard who's awesome enough to transform in to an animal at will!"

While McGonagall smiled, and took that to mean that he thought she was awesome, Bess knew that he meant his row of three boys - a dog, a stag, and a -ew- rat. She looked over her shoulder to see Sirius and James laughing and elbowing each other, while Peter had his head on the table now, not even trying to hide the fact that he was asleep.

"Correct, Mr. Black. Now can anyone tell me why it's so difficult to become an Animagus?" McGonagall said.

Someone from Ravenclaw began to answer.

Bess wasn't listening - she was still staring at Peter, jealous of his sleep, and wishing she could be that brazen.

After a moment she saw a movement on the edge of her vision and looked slightly to the left to see Sirius waving at her, trying to get her attention. She frowned and he pointed between her and Peter before narrowing his eyes playfully.

She smiled tiredly and put her hands together next to her cheek, and mouthed "I'm so tired."

He pouted and mouthed, "double free last?"

She shook her head and mouthed back, "no, History-"

"I'm sorry Miss Coulson, are we interrupting your chat?" She heard Professor McGonagall say, and turned to see the witch looking down at her.

Bess gulped and grimaced and shook her head. "Sorry Professor."

McGonagall pursed her lips before moving on and asking, "And how does one become an Animagus?"

Bess couldn't help the smile that took over her face as she heard Sirius begin to explain the process. She turned to see Lily with a similarly proud smile on her face when James interjected and added in processes, the two boys showing off slightly.

"Well done boys, take ten points each. Now, what happens to an Animagus who does not register with the Ministry for Magic?"

"Nothing," Bess said quietly, but unfortunately for her, McGonagall heard.

"What was that, Miss Coulson?"

Bess grimaced. She was having a terrible run so far, and it was only ten minutes in to a double lesson! "Uh- I said..." she trailed off, not knowing what to say.

McGonagall raised her eyebrows.

Bess sighed and pursed her lips before continuing. "Well, I... they say it's a one way ticket to Azkaban if you don't register, so..."

"That's not what you said though, is it?"

"I just... if they don't catch you, how will they know? And if they do catch you, and you're like 'oh I'm so sorry officer, I was just on my way to sign the register, this is my first transformation,' how will they know the difference?"

"You've put a lot of thought into this, have you?" McGonagall asked, raising an eyebrow.

"No Professor, I just... you know what? I'm sure there are law abiding people out there who register themselves every day," Bess said, smiling happily and nodding.

McGonagall narrowed her eyes slightly, and said, "Miss Coulson, I do believe that Mr. Black is rubbing off on you."

Bess smirked and put her chin on her hand, and thought, I wish.

The spluttering, gasps and laughter from around the room told her that she'd said that last out loud, and she groaned, sinking lower in to her chair. She heard Lily trying desperately to convert her laugh in to a cough.

"Detention, Miss Coulson."

Bess sighed and thought, this is going to be a long day.

Chapter Text

"If you could be any magical creature, what would you be?"

"I don't know... a Hippogriff?"

"Why?"

"They have wings... I think they're beautiful creatures..."

"Have you ever seen a Hippogriff?"

"Not yet... okay, how about... because everyone has to bow to them..."

"There we go!"

"What about you?"

"Dunno. I guess a stag?"

"Are they magical?"

"Dunno, probably..."

"I guess they are the kings of the forest..." Bess said, as she pushed her mop in to the bucket of water and twisted it in the strainer, before throwing it back on the ground with a thwup.

"Are they? Didn't know that..."

"I highly doubt that. I'm pretty sure that between you, you and Sirius know everything..." Bess replied.

"Was that a compliment?"

"The issue is you're both as cocky as you are intelligent... Are you actually going to do anything?"

James turned his head and grinned at Bess from his perch in an alcove - they'd been tasked with mopping an entire corridor as detention, and so far Bess was the only one working.

Bess could think of nothing she'd rather do than be in her bed, but McGonagall had said that since it was so close to Christmas and James already had a detention the same evening that she'd talked back in class, she had to join him.

Considering James hadn't done anything and had peppered the conversation with ridiculous questions that after a while hurt her head, she thought the older witch may have thought of this as a double punishment. Diabolical.

"Nah, it's honestly more fun getting a detention for not doing your original detention..." James said.

"You're ridiculous."

James just smiled and looked up at the ceiling again, absentmindedly playing with his hair, "Hey, so in that book series you talked about..."

"Yeah?" Bess replied, keeping her eyes on the ground. She had managed to avoid a lot of questions about her real life so far.

"Were Lily and I characters in it?" James asked, throwing a bottle of ink up in the air and catching it with the tips of his fingers as he ran a hand through his hair again.

Bess tried not to laugh, but let out a small chuckle instead. "Yes. You got married and had a baby boy named Harry."

"Fine, don't tell me about the books, see if I care!" James declared, before placing a book on his face and pretending to snore.

Bess rolled her eyes and continued to work for another 15 minutes before she asked, "why is Peter in Transfiguration by the way? All he does is sleep..."

James chuckled, "we coached him through his exam. Thought it would be funny to see the look on Minny's face when he turned up with an exceeds!"

"Yup. Ridiculous."

Silence fell for another five minutes before James piped up again. "What're you doing for Christmas?"

"Staying here. McGonagall brought round the sign up sheet at lunch. Don't think many people are though..." Bess said, trailing off.

McGonagall had come round with the sheet while Bess had been at lunch with Grace, Scott, Bartie, Merritt, Lucy and Amarella. It had been the final sign up, as Christmas break would start at the end of next week, so Bess had just put her name down.

Then she'd had a double History of Magic class before her pre-dinner detention, so she still hadn't found the time to tell Sirius yet.

"Oh. Yeah, most people go home... why are you staying? Is it because you and Sirius had a fight?" James replied quietly.

Bess chuckled. "No, Sirius and I are past the argument from my perspective. I just think the Muggles who bought my parents' house would be a bit bemused if I turned up..." Bess said with a laugh.

"True. Don't you have anywhere else to go?"

Bess frowned. "I don't like this conversation..."

"No, I mean... I thought Lily would've invited you to hers," James backtracked quickly.

She smiled at his attempt. "She did this morning, but have you heard about her sister? Also, honestly, I don't really want to stand out, so I said no."

"Stand out?" He asked, swinging his legs round and standing up so he could see her better.

Bess sighed and leaned against her mop. "I'm Muggleborn here, but out there I'm... well, can't run from the colour of my skin, and it can be not so great out in the Muggle world at the moment. Last month they issued a new anti-discrimination Act and some people are... angry about it. So I don't really want to chance anything."

James frowned deeply. "What? Why would your skin colour matter?"

Bess stared at James for a moment before she asked, "Why does my blood status matter?"

"It doesn't," James replied without a beat.

"To you. But to some people, it does," Bess said, sighing and putting the mop back in the bucket. "You've only known what it's like to be a white pureblood wizard."

"But-"

"Don't really want to get in to it any more than that, James, sorry. Just trust me, a mixed race girl rocking up in Cokeworth would probably shock a few neighbours and I don't want the stares, or for Lily's family to be left with all the questions when I've gone. On the other hand, staying at Hogwarts means I can explore and have great dinners for two weeks."

James frowned and tossed the ink pot in the air. "Would you come to mine for Christmas?"

Bess couldn't help but grin as she thought of Harry, who was always happy to share what he had with his friends. "Thank you, James, you're really kind. But it would be a bit weird wouldn't it? Sirius and I have only been going out for a month and a half, so I don't really fancy crashing his first truly free Christmas."

"What if he asked you? Would you come then?"

"James..." Bess said with a sigh of frustration, "can we stop? Honestly, you're being lovely, but I just want to be at Hogwarts for Christmas break."

"But you'll be on your own!"

"Sometimes that's a good thing though."

"No it's not! You should have people around at Christmas! It should be fun and filled with family and friends!" James argued, before his face fell and he seemed to understand his mistake.

Bess pursed her lips and rubbed her nose as angry tears filled her eyes. "Yeah. And last Christmas my family were murdered and I woke up in St. Mungo's. Last night I had to relive the pain of that night, and it terrified me. So I'm sorry if I want to have the safest Christmas possible this year and don't want to risk accidentally getting any of my friends in to hot water.

"Look, if anyone asks, I did all of this," she said, gesturing to most of the corridor, "but had a headache and went to lie down," before dropping the mop and walking away.

Luckily, Filch had been in a hurry and neither James nor Bess had reminded him to take their wands. The only reason she'd really been cleaning was out of a weird respect for the rules of her detention.

"Ugh. Bess, I'm sorry!" James called after her, but she kept walking.

She knew she was being dramatic, but after Dumbledore inadvertently caused her to go through the pain Daphne had been subjected to, she had been on high alert.

The Muggle and Wizard newspapers had been rife with stories about racist and anti-Muggleborn sentiments recently, and she thought she owed it to herself to have as uncomplicated of a two week break as she could without potentially endangering her friends.

xXx

"You blew up at Ja-a-ames!" Lily sang as she pulled the curtain to Bess' bed back.

Bess groaned and mumbled, "You do it all the time," into her pillow.

She was laying face down in her bed, having managed to change in to her pyjamas and crawl under the covers before Lily interrupted her.

"Yeah, but I can get away with it. He thinks he's really upset you."

Bess pushed her arms under her pillow and lifted up her head. "Please tell him he did nothing wrong, I'm just really tired and just want to sleep? He was just unfortunately in the wrong place at the wrong time."

"Can you tell him yourself?" Lily asked, cocking her head to the side.

Bess shook her head and flumped her head back on to her pillow. "No, because I'm asleep."

"He's your boyfriend's best friend."

"He's also the closest thing I have to an annoying little brother and families argue."

"I can't tell him that!" Lily cried.

"Why not?" Bess asked in a mumble.

"He'll cry or something..."

Bess laughed but otherwise didn't move, as she fell asleep.

xXx

"Bess? Bess, wake up."

Bess groaned and moved slightly so she could push the person who was poking her, away.

"Really? Come on! Wake up!" Came the voice again.

"Why?"

"Because! You missed two meals yesterday! You have to have breakfast before History of Magic!" Lily replied in an angry whisper.

Bess groaned again and moved in to the yoga position child's pose, before she began to fall asleep again.

"Bess!"

"Fine!" She replied loudly, before she jumped up and walked to the bathroom, yawning.

By the time she'd got dressed and been dragged downstairs, she had lost all of her energy and felt dead on her feet.

She sat down on the bench in the Great Hall and, if it hadn't of been for Lily making her drink some juice and have some food, would have fallen asleep on her plate.

Just as she was trying to chew a piece of pain au chocolat, the boys sat down, and she smiled slightly at Remus, who was back from the Hospital Wing.

"Hey," she said, trying to wave her pastry but only managing a limp shake. She had one hand under her chin, with her elbow on the table and her eyes were drooping.

"I just don't get it! You've slept so much!" Lily said, clearly annoyed.

"What's up, love?" Sirius asked as he straddled the bench next to Bess and wrapped his arms around her middle.

She sighed and moved closer to him, before Lily pulled her back and said, "No you don't. We have class in fifteen minutes, and you're going to be awake for it."

"But I'm so tired," Bess mumbled, before dropping her head on to the table. As she began to close her eyes, she could hear her friends talking above her.

"Bess, love?" She heard Sirius ask.

"She's been asleep since six last night!" Lily cried.

"Shit, has she eaten anything?" James asked quickly.

"Barely!" Lily replied.

Bess groaned and moved slightly, mumbling, "I'm fine! I'm just tired!"

"How long've you been tired, Bess?" Remus asked.

Bess frowned and took in a deep breath as she thought. "Since Pomps gave me a pain potion I think."

"Was it pink?"

Bess nodded.

"Did you sleep after she gave it to you?"

Bess shook her head.

"Ah, classic. Feel a bit drunk yesterday?"

Bess barely moved, but Sirius said, "Told Minny she wanted me, so I'd say yeah to that one."

"I highly doubt that," Remus replied.

Bess chuckled and mumbled. "I did and I do."

"Bess, we're at breakfast..." Lily admonished, as Bess heard the boys laugh and felt Sirius move her hair from her back and press a kiss to the back of her neck.

"What d'you think Moony?" James asked, unable to hide the smile in his voice.

She heard Remus sigh and root around in his bad for a moment before he poked her arm with a vial and said, "Bess, drink this."

"What is it?" She asked as she propped her head up again.

As she did, Sirius slipped his hand under the back of her untucked shirt and rubbed her lower back to comfort her.

"Pepper up potion," Remus replied as he thrust it in to her hand.

"Why?" She asked, looking at the potion.

"Honestly? You're on a come down. The pink pain potions are the best, but if you don't sleep straight away, you get a little... high. Then you end up sleeping for a couple of days. Only way to break it is to have a pepper up within 30 hours of having the other potion."

Bess sighed and tipped the vial's contents into her mouth. She drank the potion slowly, unable to swallow quickly.

"Bess, I'm so sorry, I thought you were just being lazy!" Lily cried, throwing her arms around Bess and hugging her tightly.

Bess just laughed as she started to feel the energy coming back to her, and began to eye up the platter of pastries hungrily.

"Oh yeah, side effects of the combination of potions is increased hunger, and you might feel a little impulsive. Otherwise, all back to normal!"

Bess' eyes widened as she began to smoke at the ears.

"Oh and uh- the pepper up potion makes the steam come out of your ears... that'll last for a few hours. The rest should alleviate by noon."

"Thanks Remus," Bess managed to choke out while she stuffed an entire pain au chocolat in her mouth.

Sirius let out an impatient noise and pushed Lily's arms away from Bess before removing his hand from Bess' lower back and slipping his arms back round Bess' waist. Once he'd kissed her on the cheek and confirmed she was okay, he turned to Remus and asked, "How'd you know?"

"Remember last year, Beatrice wouldn't stop going on about were- uh- reforms?"

Bess felt Sirius nod as she grabbed some bacon and pancakes, before reaching for the maple syrup.

"Poppy had just got this potion in," he said, gesturing to Bess, "and this was happening to me. That's why I couldn't not tell her she was being a bitch."

"That's what happened? Didn't you break up with her, Sirius?"

"Uh-" Sirius said before coughing slightly, "yeah I uh-"

"Don't worry, he traded up!" Peter said, as he beamed at Bess. He'd been on the major charm offensive with her recently, probably trying to make up for telling her to get lost for the second time.

Bess, who had stuffed an entire pancake, two rashers of bacon, and some eggs in to her mouth, stared at him as she chewed, knowing that in that moment she was about as unattractive as you could get.

"You... sure about that?" She heard Lily ask with a grimace, watching as Bess tried to pour maple syrup directly in to her mouth, which was still full of food.

Bess narrowed her eyes, swallowed her gigantic mouthful, and then reached for more just as the warning bell rang, signalling the end of breakfast.

Just before the food disappeared, she grabbed the tray of pastries and emptied it on to the table, cheering to herself as all of the rest of the food disappeared from the platters and plates, leaving the small mountain of food in front of her.

She heard Remus say, "I wasn't joking about the hunger..." as she scooped as many of the pastries as she could in to her bag, before, without asking, she pulled open Sirius' robe pocket and started putting croissants in.

"I think it's a mark of how much I love you that I'm letting you do this..." He said as he turned slightly, giving her access to his other pocket.

"Shut up, croissant carrier," she said, trying to stuff the last pastry into his pocket. When she couldn't, she frowned and held it out to him. "Please keep this safe?"

He rolled his eyes and nodded, "When will the hunger end?" He asked Remus as he put the pastry into his bag.

Peter piped up and, predictably, put his foot in it. "Knowing Moony at the full-"

James reached over and punched Peter on the arm, which shut him up.

"Full what?" Skye asked as the girls joined them, ready to walk to class together.

Before anyone else could answer, Bess said, "Full body wax. What do you think his furry little problem is?" She gestured to her chest and mouthed, "he has so much hair."

Bess could see the boys visibly relax at her words.

"I do not!" Remus said, glaring at her playfully as she grinned at him.

"One hundred percent. Uses the same waxist as Sirius," Bess continued, looking back at Skye.

"You haven't even seen Sirius topless, so I don't know what you're talking about," Remus said in a 'so there' voice.

"And how would you know that?" She asked, raising an eyebrow at him.

"Becau- uh-" Remus trailed off with a cough.

Bess looked at Sirius next to her, who was evidently trying incredibly hard to find something in his bag.

Skye just rolled her eyes and laughed as Lily jumped up, Bess following a second later. The girls were headed to different classes - Bess had History of Magic - but they'd made it a tradition to walk as far as her classroom together.

"See you later?" Bess asked Sirius, before leaning down to kiss him deeply when he nodded.

Since they had a lot of the same classes, they'd decided that 'see you later' meant that they'd meet up after school ended for the day, or, if Sirius found her during a free lesson.

Just as she was about to walk away, Sirius grabbed her hand and pulled her back down in to another kiss.

"I love you," he said as he let her go.

"I love you too," she replied before smiling at him and walking off.

What Bess didn't realise in that moment and would learn within the next five minutes, (but the rest of the girls, everyone within hearing range, and soon enough the whole school - did know) was that this was the first time Sirius Black had ever publicly uttered those three words.

xXx

As Bess left the History of Magic classroom, she stuffed another pastry in her mouth.

If she'd known Sirius was waiting for her outside, she would have at least tried to take bites.

He rolled his eyes as she tried to chew, and grabbed her around the waist, pulling her along the corridor until he found an unused classroom.

Once he'd locked and silenced the door, he turned to her and asked, "Why're you staying here for Christmas?"

Bess rolled her eyes and put her bag on the floor before sitting on a desk. They both had a free lesson before break, so she knew she could settle in.

"Why not?"

"Because I want you to come to James'," he replied, as he stepped forwards and cupped her face, tilting it up to look at him.

"It's your first Christmas not at home. I don't want to-"

"I know, James told me. But I want you there. I-"

Bess reached up to hold his forearms. "I don't want anyone to get hurt because of me. You know what I felt the other night. Sirius... that's what happened last Christmas. I don't want to go through it again, and I don't want anyone else to feel that either. What if they come back for me?" She asked, worriedly.

"Love, the Potters' is so secure even my parents couldn't get to me there. That's honestly... that's saying a lot. Just... please?"

"Sirius, I don't want to go just because you want to protect me."

Sirius grinned and leant in to rub his nose against hers. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply.

"Then it's a good thing that's not why I want you to come home then, isn't it?" He said softly.

Bess sighed and said, "If you really wanted me to, we would've talked about this already..."

"Ah, yeah, complete misunderstanding on everyone's part there, love. Lily said she was going to ask you about two weeks ago, and I thought you'd say yes, so I didn't ask.

"Yesterday James was doing recon for what to get Lily as a present, and, well..."

"And found out I wasn't going to hers," Bess said with a sigh.

Sirius chuckled and rubbed his nose against hers again. "Yeah. Turns out after our chat she thought that I was going to ask you... it's just a whole thing really..."

Bess blinked. "Okay... then why do you want me to go to yours?"

Sirius shrugged and said, "I want you to meet mum."

Bess' eyes widened and she stared at him like he was mad. "You what? Sirius, no! She's a blood puri-"

Sirius realised his mistake and laughed. "Merlin, not my mother, I mean James' mum. But... well, she's been the closest thing to a proper mum I've ever had, so..."

Bess smiled at the way he called his own mum 'mother', but used the more colloquial term for Euphemia - it was endearing.

She frowned after a second. "Oh. Wait, haven't I already met her?"

Sirius chuckled. "Yeah, but she wants to meet you properly this time, without having to apologise for James and me."

"You've told her about me?" She asked, moving her hands to grip the bottom of his untucked shirt.

"Of course. She's quite the meddler... how do you think I knew you were in Diagon Alley over the summer? She actually apparated back home from the apothecary just so she could pick me up... apparently I needed a little cheering up, and 'that gorgeous girl you met at Easter is in Madam Malkin's! Why don't you go talk to her?'" He said, putting on a high pitched voice.

Bess pursed her lips and tried not to smile. "I knew James had to have got it from somewhere..."

"What? His romantic side?"

"No, his eyesight," she said, grinning as Sirius threw his head back and laughed.

He stroked her cheek and kissed her soundly, before pulling back and staring in to her eyes. "Please? Come to the Potter's?"

"I can't, I've already signed the list."

Sirius made a face. "About that... your name might have been accidentally erased..."

Bess gasped and whacked him on the arm. "Sirius! You didn't even know I'd say yes!"

"Actually, you gave in a lot quicker than I thought you would. I have four speeches prepared, and was fully intending on using my expert powers of persuasion..." he said, winking and moving his hands to her waist, his thumbs rubbing circles through her jumper and shirt.

"I guess you just caught me at the right time... I'm just feeling quite... vulnerable. It's easier to push people away, but I think part of me just wanted to know you wanted me."

"I do. I always do," Sirius said, before kissing her again.

When he pulled away this time, Bess moved her hands to his tie and said, "what- what happens if-"

"Love, it really will be fine."

Bess nodded and moved forwards to rest her forehead on his chest. She took a deep breath, breathing in his scent, and revelling in it.

She'd realised a few weeks previously where she'd smelt him before - the Amortentia potion back in their first week of school. She still hadn't told him though.

"I won't be intruding?"

"No, honestly, I think James is excited to have a girl around who he can actually ask for advice about Lily."

Bess groaned and shook her head slightly as Sirius chuckled and kissed the top of her head.

"Are we okay? You know, after yesterday?" He asked after a second.

Bess looked up and smiled. "Yeah. Are we okay?" She asked him back.

He smiled down at her and nodded before kissing her again.

After a few minutes, they pulled apart and rested their foreheads against each other.

"Are you free tonight?" Bess whispered.

Sirius groaned and shook his head. "Detention. I'm yours all of Saturday. And Tuesday evening?"

Bess shook her head and said, "Busy on Tuesday."

"Thursday?"

Again, Bess shook her head. She had already agreed to go with Skye to Gobstones club on Tuesday, and had a pre-Christmas study session with Amarella planned on Thursday - they were hoping to get a lot of their essays done before they finished classes on Friday.

"Friday?" Sirius groaned, clearly frustrated that he wouldn't be able to spent proper alone time with her for over a week if they only had Saturday together.

She shook her head and said, "Slughorn's party."

"Oh for fuck's sake. Saturday?"

Bess giggled. "I'll be on my way to meet your mum, so I think I'll be busy."

"I'll let it pass then," he said with a proud smile before kissing her again.

Bess pulled back and asked, "Did you say you had four speeches prepared?"

Sirius nodded and Bess raised an eyebrow.

"James said meeting the parents is one of the most important things in a relationship," Sirius said, beaming down at her. "and in true Marauders fashion, I needed to be fully prepared going in, but able to wing it if needed."

Bess, who realised this was the first time he'd mentioned his group's name to her, asked, "Marauders?"

He sent her a cocky smile and said, "that's one for another time, love."

She smiled back at him. "You really should stop listening to James about everything, you're becoming quite the hopeless romantic..."

He nodded his head from side to side and said, "I would, but he's the only authority I have on how to act when you're head over heels for a girl, and I don't want to scare you off by going too fast."

"Too-? What did he say?" Bess asked, narrowing her eyes.

Sirius shook his head and laughed, until her narrowed eyes turned to a glare and he gulped and said, "The main points are: one, slow and steady wins the hand-"

"-what?-" Bess interjected.

"-two-"

"Oi, still on point one, mister! What does 'win the hand' mean?"

Sirius just shrugged. "Dunno, just an expression I guess."

"You said 'too fast'? Have you been... holding back?"

Bess grinned as she saw the blush creep up Sirius' face and neck, and she looked around him at the door and windows to make sure the blinds were down. "How long've we got left?"

"Forty five minutes," Sirius replied, frowning.

Bess grinned. "I know I look ridiculous with this stupid steam coming out of my ears, but..." she said, before undoing his tie.

"Love?" Sirius asked, raising an eyebrow.

When the bell signalling break rang, Bess and Sirius exited the classroom.

Sirius had a new swagger to his walk, and Bess couldn't stop smiling. She'd now ticked off 'see Sirius topless' and 'kiss a topless Sirius' off her bucket list, and had confirmed that he didn't mind her scars at all - in fact, he'd taken the time to tenderly kiss her left forearm and tell her that she was beautiful, before capturing her lips with his again.

And she was going to be spending the holidays at the Potter's house.

That happiness continued to fuel her and, after spending an entire day with Sirius that Saturday, she was on cloud nine.

Chapter Text

On the evening of Friday, 17th December, Bess found herself cursing and running around her dorm room frantically searching for another bottle of Sleakeazy's Hair Potion.

"Honestly, I could sue," she cried as she pulled various bottles, clothes, and books out of her trunk, searching for a bottle.

She currently looked ridiculous - she'd spent ten minutes applying liberal amounts of the potion to straighten half of her hair before she ran out.

Now, she had the option of either getting back in the shower and ruining all the progress she'd made, or finding more of the stuff. Since she'd already done a lot of her make-up, she wasn't ready to start again.

"Two drops will tame your hair, my arse!" She cried, sitting down next to her trunk and glaring in to the fire in front of her.

"Just go ask James for more!" Lily called from the bathroom, where she was curling her hair with her wand.

Bess frowned. "Why would he have some? His hair's always a mess."

"Please tell him that. Seriously though, he'll have a few bottles lying around, I'm sure," Lily called back, laughing.

Bess sighed. This was her last chance, as Lily couldn't use the potion due to the adverse effects to redheads, and none of the other girls had as curly hair as Bess, so didn't use the potion.

She nodded and jumped up, before tightening the belt of her silk robe and putting on her slippers. As she ran down the girls' stairs, she wondered what Sirius would think when he saw her, half her head a mass of curls, the other straight, dressed in a weird Muggle robe, fluffy puppy slippers, and only half a face of make up on.

He'll just have to deal with it, she thought as she wrenched open the boys' dormitory stairs door and ran up, taking two steps at a time before knocking multiple times on the sixth year boys' door.

"Merlin, keep your hair-" James began as he opened the door, before cutting off and laughing in her face. He doubled over and she pursed her lips, glaring at him.

"Lily said you'd have more Sleakeazy's. Can I steal a bottle?"

"Oh my god! Honestly, I'll just give you one!" He said, still laughing, and beckoning her inside as he walked to his trunk.

"Please shut up, I know, okay?" Bess said as she stepped inside and closed the door.

"Love?" Sirius asked as he walked out of the bathroom, topless, and looking far too good considering she looked like a mess. When he took in her appearance he managed to hold back his laugh but she could see he was having to try hard.

"Please don't. Honestly, tonight has been a 'mare already... But I will look good in like, twenty minutes," she said, walking over to Sirius' bed and sitting on it, watching James move things around in his trunk.

"Can't you just accio it?" She asked, watching as James removed a couple of bottles.

"Nah, everything's a bit fragile, worried it would break something on the way out. I think I see it though..." he replied, before diving in to his trunk, his entire torso disappearing in to it.

Sirius pulled out a t-shirt and tugged it on before sitting next to Bess and kissing her on the cheek. "You don't look too bad, I was mainly laughing at the slippers..." he said, looking down at her feet.

Bess raised them up and wiggled her feet. "Like 'em? Got them in Diagon Alley in the summer. If I lose them they bark."

"Ah, that's funny, same thing happens when we lose Padfoot..." James said with a chuckle as he stood up, holding two bottles of the hair potion in his hands. "Here you go."

Bess jumped up and threw her arms around James before planting a kiss on his cheek and grabbing one of the bottles in his hand. "Thank you!" She called as she ran towards the door. "I'll pay you back!"

"Don't worry about it!"

"Oh, I will," Bess said, as she turned back, already halfway out the door. "This stuff is a con. Whoever invented it is a mad genius. Two drops will tame any hair? Fuck off. Two bottles more like. If they've got any kids I think I'm bank rolling their education."

With that, she left, swinging the door shut behind her as she heard Sirius begin to laugh and James say, "Well I'm not telling him..."

xXx

True to her word, 20 minutes later, Bess looked... dare she say it... goooooood (with all seven 'o's).

She had lightly curled her straightened hair so it hung in waves that she swept over her left shoulder, and her smokey eye make up was finished with a red lip. It was her staple 'going out' look, but was made infinitely better by the dress which she had borrowed from Solstice.

As Slughorn's invitation said it was a formal event, Bess had borrowed a deep red velvet long sleeved floor-length dress, with a slit which went up her left leg, stopping at her mid-thigh.

On Solstice, who was shorter and smaller than Bess, the dress was slightly baggy and way too long - she'd said it was her sisters which she'd stolen and intended to transfigure. But on Bess it fit perfectly, hugging her curves and falling to just touch the ground when she wore her heels.

It had a boat neck, which meant that it just skimmed over the scar going down Bess' right arm, but didn't show too much of it, whilst showing off her shoulders.

Due to a few brilliant spells on Lily's part, she was able to wear her bra underneath it without any of the straps showing - she hadn't thought to buy a strapless bra before coming to Hogwarts -, and Lily had also put a glamour over a couple of Bess' burn marks so for the next nine hours she didn't have to worry about anyone seeing them and asking questions.

As she slipped on her black sparkly heels - which she had charmed with a cushioning spell to make sure she could wear them all night - Lily exited the bathroom, and Bess' eyes widened.

Lily was wearing a floor length deep green fitted dress which suited her hair incredibly well. It was slightly low cut, hugged in at her waist, and skimmed straight down over her hips. There were no sleeves, so Lily was holding a matching green shrug over one arm. It reminded Bess of a more modest version of the black dress Eva Green wore in the latest adaptation of Casino Royale.

She'd curled her hair and put on more make up than Bess had seen her wear before, but it suited her down to the ground, allowing her eyes to sparkle out of her pale face.

"You look incredible," Bess said as she stood and grabbed her small bag, which contained her wand, lipstick, a small mirror, and four pain au chocolats just in case.

When they'd finally traversed the stairs downstairs, Bess opened the door to see Sirius and James standing by the portrait hole, wearing smart black dress robes. Her eyes widened and she immediately shut the door and turned back to Lily.

"Uh- what're they doing?" She asked in a whisper.

"Who?"

"James and Sirius. They're all dressed up..."

Bess had been hoping she could avoid Sirius for now - she loved how she looked, but was still embarrassed that she'd put in so much effort.

"They're our dates!" Lily said simply, before trying to push past Bess.

"What? Since when? I thought I was going with you?"

Lily sighed and rolled her eyes. "He's your boyfriend!" When Bess just continued to stare at her, Lily said, "Honestly? Since this morning. I may have mentioned to James that you were coming with me, and then he said he was going with Sirius, and... asked if I maybe wanted to team up?"

Bess' eyes widened and her mouth fell open in shock. "Is this a double date?"

"Kind of?" Lily replied, her eyebrows pulling together in apprehension, "is that weird?"

"Oh my god. No! That's fantastic!" Bess cried, throwing her arms around Lily, forgetting completely about her silly worry over what Sirius would think about her outfit.

"You sure? I just... I've spent some time with him over the past few weeks when you and Sirius have been going off and stuff, and-"

"You've realised he's not too bad?"

Lily bit her lip and nodded.

Bess squealed and jumped up and down. She was ecstatic that her happiness with Sirius had managed to bring together James and Lily over nine months early, giving them even more time together.

"Don't get too excited though, it could go disastrously!" Lily said, frowning again.

"If something happens, please try and see the funny side of it. Like when he spilt all that juice over you in fourth year and you stormed off?"

"You know about that?"

"Sirius told me. I think it was number six or something on the list of stupid stuff James has done in an effort to ask you out. But," she said, waving her hand, "that doesn't matter. What does matter, is that if that happens tonight, just laugh, and let him rectify the mistake. Remember his reaction when you spilt your drink on his white shirt?"

Lily nodded and took a deep breath. "What if he's annoying?"

"He's James. Just remember that. Not Potter, he's James. He'll be annoying, probably, but he'll also be sweet and kind and lovely."

Just as Lily was about to reply, the door opened and a second year girl almost fell over the two girls. "Merlin, sorry!" She said as she backed up, letting Bess and Lily out of the stairwell.

"Don't worry about it," Lily replied softly, blushing slightly.

Bess half-smiled with her lips closed and eyes wide, before she looked over at the door again and saw Sirius staring at her. She bit her lip and walked over, slipping her arms around his middle as he continued to just stare at her, her heels making them almost the same height.

Instead of saying anything, Sirius pulled her flush against him and slipped a hand up to cup her jaw before leaning in and capturing her lips in a slow and passionate kiss.

When he finally pulled back, Bess took a moment to come back down to earth as she felt him place a few kisses on her right shoulder. Just as he trailed his lips over her neck and almost reached her mouth again, James said, "Alright, alright, stop it you two. Party starts at eight."

Bess smiled and looked over at James, who was staring at the ceiling and sighing deeply. She made eye contact with Lily who laughed slightly and pushed James towards the Portrait Hole.

"You look... I can't even..." Sirius said, trailing off and leaning in to kiss her again.

Before he could, Lily this time, shouted, "Come on!"

Bess laughed as she stepped away and Sirius grabbed her hand, leading her out of the common room.

xXx

If she'd thought Slughorn's party would have been over the top, Bess was thoroughly unprepared. It was just as Harry had described - like stepping in to a circus tent - but this time, the colours on the ceiling were gold, silver and bronze, with green draped here and there, as if pulling the other colours together.

The room was filled with people and felt hot to Bess, who had chosen long sleeves so that she could hide her scars. She couldn't imagine how stifling it was for Sirius and James, who were both wearing full dress robes.

As they moved through the room, Bess became aware of just how many people Sirius and James knew. They were nodding, shaking hands, waving, and shouting to almost everyone they walked past, and Bess felt a little bit unnecessary.

Lily, on the other hand, didn't seem to mind at all, and was whispering to James, asking him about different people.

Finally, they came to a stop by a particularly ostentatious fountain made out of what looked like ice, but also, intriguingly, like it was on fire.

Sirius passed her a glass of mead and she smiled appreciatively before looking around the room again. They chatted and laughed for over an hour from their perch, only leaving to share a dance or two, before returning to their station.

Around ten o'clock, once they'd begun to mingle more and James had had an exciting chat with the former England Quidditch Captain, Bess heard Jasper's voice as he appeared suddenly at her side and yelled over the music, "Alright, you lot!"

"Professor Serpen!" Lily said excitedly.

"Enough off that! Tonight I'm just Jasper, Auror-extraordinaire!" He said, before taking a gulp of his mead.

"Pain in the arse more like!" Bess said, sipping her drink and looking around as if wondering who said that.

"I heard that. Be careful or I'll tell Del about your fella," Jasper replied, raising an eyebrow and nodding at Sirius, who grinned.

Bess rolled her eyes, before quoting one of her favourite films, "'Honestly, Dad. No one says fella anymore!'"

"Uh, I am five years older than you, thank you very much," Jasper replied, glaring at her playfully and pointing at her with his glass, his other hand still in his pocket.

No one would have noticed, but Bess knew what he was doing - he had his wand in his hand, ready for a fight if needed.

"Really?" Bess asked, cocking her head to the side and pursing her lips, and tapping her chin with a finger, "five years? Or is it almost six?"

Jasper narrowed his eyes at her and said, "Yeah, well at least I didn't sleep on a sofa for three days because I couldn't complete a transfiguration spell and had a furry goblet running around my room."

Bess gasped as she heard the others roar with laughter, "You said you'd never tell! Where's Delbert?"

"Why am I not surprised you're already at each other's throats?" Delbert asked as he joined the small group.

"He's telling people I'm rubbish at magic!" Bess cried, pointing at Jasper.

"Bess has a boyfriend!" Jasper replied quickly, trying to deflect.

Bess gasped again, and Jasper raised his eyebrows, suddenly finding his cup incredibly interesting. The slight smile on his face confirmed to Bess that he knew exactly what he'd just done.

"Bess?" Delbert asked quietly.

"I was going to tell you..." Bess said, trailing off, a blush rising to her cheeks as she tried not to look at any of her friends and focus only on the Auror in front of her.

"How long?" Delbert asked quietly.

Bess wasn't going to answer, but Jasper piped up and said, "at least eight weeks..."

"Whose side are you on?" Bess hissed.

Delbert nodded and took his wand out of his pocket, before draining his goblet and setting it down on the ice sculpture. "How long have I been an Auror, Jasper?"

"Over twenty years, Del," Jasper replied, smirking as Bess glared at him.

"This is ridiculous. He's kind and funny and I love him. If you hurt him..." she said, trailing off and pointing a finger at Delbert.

Delbert raised his hands to the air and said, "Who said anything about hurting the kid? This would just be a little chat, man to man. Now which one is it?"

Bess let out a frustrated noise as she looked at the ceiling, before she pointed to Sirius, who was looking between the three with an amused expression on his face.

Apart from the first time she'd spoken to Jasper in their first Defence lesson with him, she'd not been overly familiar with the man, and although she wrote to the two Aurors weekly, her relationship with them both hadn't really come up.

Delbert looked at him before the mock glare fell from his face and he turned to stare at Bess, a worried expression on his face. "Bess. What're you doing?" He whispered to her.

"What d'you mean?" She asked, trying to figure out what about Sirius was wrong.

"He is a Black," Delbert hissed to her quietly, turning them both away from the group.

"Who's in Gryffindor."

"You don't know what his family are capable of."

"Delbert... what's going on?"

Delbert looked around before pulling her towards a curtain, which he pushed aside and motioned for Bess to walk behind. She rolled her eyes and walked in to the alcove he'd revealed. Once he'd put the curtain back and sent a silencing charm towards it, he turned to her.

"Look, I have no proof, which is why I haven't said anything, and why officially no one knows who tortured you, but... I've heard rumours."

"What? What're you talking about?" Bess asked, trying to figure out who on earth he was inferring had hurt her.

"Has your boyfriend ever mentioned his family?"

Bess, who was wracking her brains trying to work out who Sirius was related to, said, "Yeah, I mean, he has a brother, and his parents are blood purists..."

"Has he talked about any of his cousins?"

"No. Why?"

"Does the name Bellatrix Lestrange mean anything to you?"

Bess nodded slowly. "Yeah, she's..." she said, trailing off as she thought about what she'd do to Hermione, and about the Lestrange family vault. "Not much about her really, I just know she's a bit of a... fanatic?"

"A fanatic who gave you that scar," he said, pointing to Bess' left arm.

Like a tidal wave, Bellatrix came back to Bess, and she gasped as the weight of knowledge bared down on her. She suddenly remembered everything - what she would do to the Longbottoms, her escape from Azkaban, Sirius...

She remembered how Sirius died. She'd never been able to properly remember it before, she'd just known that it would happen.

"Oh my god," she whispered, putting a hand to her chest and sinking to the ground.

Delbert, who thought her reaction was solely about the scar, knelt beside her and put a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Bess, she's his cousin."

Bess turned to look at Delbert with wide, tear filled eyes. "He's not like that," she whispered. "He's not like his family."

"How can you be sure?"

"Because I know him. He's not like them. When his brother shoved me-"

"He did what?!" Delbert asked loudly, his nostrils flaring in anger.

"Delbert, please! When his brother shoved me, Sirius went after him, and Regulus hasn't attacked me since. Sirius is not like them. He's just- he's not like them. You have to believe me. He's good."

Delbert looked sceptical, but after a few moments, he nodded solemnly. "I can't believe you yet, not until I've got the measure of him and seen if he truly deserves you, but I'll give him a chance..."

Bess nodded quickly and wrapped her arms around her middle.

"I'm... I'm so sorry I told you like that. I shouldn't've."

"Please, Delbert, don't worry. It's honestly okay. I just... I think I want to leave the party now," she said, clearly asking Delbert to leave her alone for now. "I'll write to you over break?"

Delbert nodded and stood up. "You'll be safe here over Christmas break. Just... stay out of trouble? I don't want a repeat of last year," he said with a chuckle, trying to make a joke. "Sorry, Jasper's a lot better at the joking around..."

"That's okay, and thank you," Bess replied, before leaning in to kiss him on the cheek, not mentioning that she would be at the Potters'. "You should get back," she whispered, screwing up her nose to stop the tears from falling.

"You-"

"Go. Really. I just need a moment."

"Okay," Delbert replied, before frowning at her, gently squeezing her hand, and leaving.

Bess took a moment to herself. The spell Delbert had cast on the curtain was still holding, and she thought that he might have recast it when he'd left, so she had some privacy. She took a deep breath in before her sobs overtook her and she sank to the floor again, wrapping her arms around her shins, and resting her head on her knees as she cried.

Ten minutes later, she had finally stopped crying, and pulled out her mirror from her bag to try and rectify some of the damage.

She just had to keep reminding herself that Bellatrix was nowhere near her, and that she wouldn't be the reason Sirius died this time - Bess would kill her herself if needed.

Once she'd done what she needed to do to look like she hadn't been crying, she took a deep breath and peered around the curtain.

The party was still in full swing, and she could see the back of Lily and James' heads somewhere in the corner, so she slipped out and walked as quickly and inconspicuously as possible to the door, before leaving as Slughorn greeted another guest fondly.

She slipped off her heels and began to run through the dungeons, not stopping until she reached the main entrance doors to the school, which she pulled open.

Finally, she stepped out in to the open and took a few gasping breaths before, with shaking hands, she pulled out her wand and held it securely in her hand as she began to walk barefoot towards the grounds.

As she got to the forest treeline, which she was going to follow round until she came to the lake, she heard footsteps behind her. She whirled around.

"Love?" Sirius asked, raising his hands to the air as she pointed her wand at him.

She gasped slightly as she tried not to cry again, and lowered her wand.

"Love, you're not wearing shoes..." he whispered, slowing stepping towards her.

"I- I- I-"

"Shhhh," he said, as he pulled her in to his arms and held her as she cried.

xXx

"I'm so sorry," Sirius said, once she'd told him what Delbert had told her. "Bess, if I'd have known. I would've stayed away from you, I promise. I swear to you, I had no idea."

"Why?"

"What?"

"Why would you have stayed away?" Bess asked quietly, pulling his arms closer around her, as if scared he might leave.

Once Bess had stopped crying, Sirius had transfigured the heels she'd been holding in her hands in to normal shoes, and taken her to the beach.

They were now sat with her between his legs, his head next to hers, both staring at the calm water in front of them.

"Because it was my family who did this to you," he whispered.

"No. Your family are the Potters. And anyway, if you went around apologising for everything your birth family did, I don't think you'd have time to do anything else..."

She felt Sirius take a deep breath before he said, "Bess, she's not just someone I'm related to... she's my cousin Bella. She's... we grew up together. I- I last saw her this summer. It's not... she's not just someone..."

"I know," Bess said, looking down. She knew this summer would be the last time he saw Bellatrix until the deranged witch was brought in to Azkaban for the torture of Frank and Alice Longbottom. "But you would never do this to someone."

She felt his arms tighten around her as he dropped his face to the crook of her neck.

They sat like that for a while, as thoughts swirled around Bess' mind. She could only think of one thing with clarity - she didn't want to feel this numbness anymore.

Sirius raised his head and whispered into her ear, "I love you, Bess. I love you."

Bess gasped in a breath and turned to look over her shoulder at him. "Sirius...?"

"Yes, love?" He whispered back, gently wiping away a tear from her cheek.

"Make love to me?" She whispered.

"What?" He asked, his eyebrows pulling together. "How? Bess. I love you more than anything-"

He was cut off as Bess kissed him hard, putting all of her feelings in to the kiss. She turned in his arms and wrapped hers around his shoulders as she straddled his hips.

Sirius pulled away and said, "Bess, love, what're you doing?"

"I don't want to think. I don't want to feel this pain anymore. I just want you," she said, staring in to his eyes before kissing him again.

She was glad Sirius had set up a fire around them, as otherwise she would have been freezing.

She pushed him backwards and began to undo the buttons of his shirt.

He pulled her hands away and broke their kiss as he rolled them over so he was on top of her.

He stared down at her and said, "Bess, love, you're not thinking."

"I am. I've thought about this for weeks. I've thought about you for weeks. I just- I know it's not- but... wait... do you want me?" She asked, gulping slightly.

"Merlin. Yes." Sirius said, nodding, before frowning and saying, "but Bess..."

Bess shook her head quickly and leant up to kiss him slowly again. As she pulled away, she asked, "Please?"

"I can't. You're not thinking properly. You might regret it tomorrow, and I don't want any part of you to."

"I won't. Please, Sirius, I won't. I won't regret any moment I share with you," Bess said, staring up at him with pleading eyes.

She didn't want to see an older version of him falling through the veil whenever she closed her eyes, she just wanted him to be with her in that moment.

Sirius looked hesitant for a moment, and asked, "Are you sure? One hundred per cent sure?"

Bess nodded and searched his eyes as she asked, "Is this okay with you?"

He nodded and leant in slightly, before Bess stopped him and said, "Wait. I'm sorry. This isn't fair, I can't just make you do this."

"Bess, I've been thinking about you for months. Not just weeks. You're not my first. I've done this before, so don't worry about that at all. If you're completely sure that this is what you want, then I'm going to take it slow, okay?"

Bess nodded and said, "I've done this before as well."

Sirius bit his lip and said, "Since January?"

Bess shook her head. "No, uh- before."

Sirius nodded before saying again, "We'll take it slow. You might not have as much experience as me..."

Bess knew what he was saying - she might not be as experienced in this world. She took a deep breath.

"Are you sure?" She asked him quietly.

"If you're sure, I'm sure," he whispered back.

Bess nodded and he leant down and kissed her soundly.

Chapter Text

"I'm sorry," Bess said quietly as she listened to the strong beat of Sirius' heart.

She was lying next to him, with her head on his chest, an arm across his stomach. Once they'd finished, they'd put their clothes back on and Sirius had conjured another blanket to throw over them while they lay there.

He'd been quiet for a long time, just staring up at the stars, his arms wrapped tightly around Bess, who was feeling both absolutely wonderful, and like a horrid person for using him like that.

When she'd been at university, she'd had... relationships... if you could call them that, with a few people, but none who meant as much to her as Sirius did. She hadn't been lying to him - she'd thought of him for weeks, ever since they'd finally got together, and it was now almost two months since they'd started courting, or six weeks since they'd told each other they loved each other.

But still, she couldn't help but feel like this wasn't how either of them would have wanted their first time to be, even though, honestly, it had been... for lack of a better word, as perfect as it could have been.

Later, when they left school, and the war raged around them, Bess would think back to this moment and think that it was the first time in her life that she felt truly loved. She would forget her worries that he would think she'd been using him, and she would only remember how safe she felt in his arms and how romantic it was to spend time with him outside, on the beach, watching the stars and losing time together.

"Why, love?" Sirius asked, tightening his hold on her.

"I think... I'm worried you think I used you," Bess whispered.

She could feel Sirius shaking his head, and moved so that she had her head propped up on her hand, her elbow next to his head, as she stared down at him.

After a moment, he looked up at her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Love, don't apologise for this. Please? You didn't use me. I'm more worried about you thinking I've used you, but please trust me. This won't be the last time we get lost in each other."

Bess frowned. "What d'you mean?"

Sirius sighed and looked back to the stars, pulling Bess back in to his arms. He took a few minutes, before he spoke again. "The first time I had sex, I was fifteen. I'd just come back from Christmas break with my family and... I... I just felt like I wanted to do something... reckless. Something destructive to myself. I dunno really, but I just wanted to feel something other than the pain and anger inside me at that moment. James wouldn't let me do anything stupid, so I... I just wanted to feel something... good.

"There was this party, and I went off with an older girl who... well, she took the lead, and it worked I guess?

"When you asked me tonight... I- I recognised that pain and anger and hurt. That want to..." he took in a deep breath before continuing, "to feel something else.

"But I also recognised that it was... different this time. You weren't looking for reckless. You were looking for love and comfort. I'm just glad you trusted me, rather than having to go off and find something else... or someone else...

"Because I love you, and I'm always here for you," Sirius said, as he stared in to her eyes. "And... I realise you didn't want me because you wanted a couple of hours of pleasure. You wanted me because you wanted me to love you, because you trusted me to love you, to care for you. That's what I hope, at least - that you asked me to make love to you because that's what it was; love."

Bess, whose eyes had filled with tears, nodded. "How do you always know?"

"Because that feeling inside of you? The one that tells you you're all alone in the world? That there's something wrong with you? That you don't deserve love?"

Bess nodded as she felt tears rolling down her cheeks.

"I feel that too. And that feeling only goes away when I'm around about four people, and that includes you, and James."

"I- it used to be... I used to have- I miss-" Bess started, before shaking her head. If she thought about her friends from her world right now, she would break down. "Now... for me... it's you, James, Lily and Remus," she whispered, her voice breaking.

Sirius was quiet for a moment before he muttered, "Poor Peter."

Bess didn't know if he'd said it to be funny, but she couldn't help but laugh.

He smiled up at her as he reached a hand up and stroked her cheek. "We should head back soon. It's past midnight and I'm sure someone will come to check on the fires soon."

"Sirius?"

"Yes love?"

"You... you said I trusted you, and you were glad I didn't go off to find someone else? I just want you to know that there's only you. No matter what happens, what comes for us, I love you, and I would never..." she trailed off.

She wanted to say that she'd never hurt him, but she couldn't. She knew that if he found out that she knew about his past already because he was a character in the books she'd read growing up, that would hurt him. And she was terrified that he would leave her for it.

Because she'd realised something about Sirius - he'd begun to fall for her because she was an enigma, a problem to solve, and then when he'd found out who she was and where she came from... where he thought she'd come from... he'd decided to try and unwrap her secrets.

In doing so, he'd fallen in love with her, because he thought she was being completely honest with him, and at the same time, wasn't pushing him to tell her anything about his life.

But what he didn't know, and what she hoped he would never find out, was that the only reason she didn't push to know more was because she already knew his biggest secrets.

"You would never?" He asked, looking up at her and frowning.

"Betray you," she said, as a tear rolled down her face. "Because I'm yours. I always will be."

"You mean that, don't you? You actually mean that?" He said, cupping her jaw as he searched her face for any sign of deception.

Bess nodded and stared into his eyes, trying to convey as many emotions as she could.

Sirius' face relaxed, and he tightened his arms around her, before he said, "I feel the same way. I will always protect you, love, I will always be here for you."

They stared at each other for what felt like hours, before Sirius broke the silence, saying, "I'm sorry, love, we really should get back."

Bess nodded and reluctantly stood as Sirius magicked away their things. He jumped up and took her hand, before leaning in to kiss her deeply.

"I love you," she whispered, looking up at him as he pulled away.

Sirius leant in and rubbed his nose against hers, before saying, "I love you." As she turned back towards the castle, she thought she heard him whisper, "more than you could ever know."

xXx

The next morning, Bess woke up in her own bed, with a parchment bird note bouncing up and down on her nose. It reminded her of when James and Sirius got so excited about something they would almost bounce off the walls. Normally, that meant they'd go off and prank someone... she hoped this wouldn't be the case today.

When they'd made it back to the common room just hours before, Sirius had said that as much as he wanted to spend the entire night with her, he didn't think that the night before Christmas break would be the best time. Bess, who had been thinking exactly the same thing - she didn't know how to explain it to the girls if she had to do the walk of shame - had agreed with him, and they'd reluctantly gone their separate ways.

She thought she'd be upset not being with him, but instead, she'd almost floated to the bathroom to remove her make up and get changed in to her pyjamas. She felt so comforted and loved, and when she'd finally fallen asleep, after replaying the time they'd spent on the beach in her head, she had a wonderful dreamless sleep.

Groaning slightly, Bess rolled on to her back and reached for her wand, before tapping the note. This time, instead of turning in to a flat piece of parchment in her hand, it continued to float in front of her face as it unfurled itself.

Bess smiled as she read:

I can't wait to see you.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Mary asking, "How much packing've you got to do?" She looked over to see the brunette sitting on her bed, her trunk already locked.

Bess smiled and pushed herself up. "Considering I undid all my progress last night looking for a stupid hair potion? I've still got to start..."

Mary grinned and said, "pick out your clothes and I'll do the rest."

Bess jumped up and pulled out underwear, a top, turtleneck jumper, skinny jeans, boots, and her leather jacket, before Mary waved her wand and everything from on and around Bess' bed flew inside her trunk before it closed with a click.

"Yeah, you're gonna have to teach me that or you're just going to be my resident packer from now on..." Bess said, grinning at Mary before walking towards the bathroom. "When do we have to leave?" She asked no one in particular.

"Fifteen minutes until breakfast, then we're off! You excited for your first train ride?" Jo asked as she passed Bess, wearing only a towel.

Bess stopped as her mouth dropped open. "Oh my god. It's... I'm going... I'M GOING ON THE BLOODY HOGWARTS EXPRESS TODAY!"

She could hear the girls laughing as she jumped up and down.

That morning, she sang in the shower, squealed while she dried her now-curly-again hair, swore as she poked herself in the eye with her eyeliner, bounced around the bathroom collecting the last of the things she'd need over the next two weeks, and grinned stupidly at the Lily, who was the only one left in the room when she'd returned from the bathroom.

"You excited to go home?" She asked brightly as she grabbed her bag and tried to get a look at the redhead, whose face was obscured by her hair. When she did see Lily's face, Bess gasped and ran over to her, asking, "what's wrong?"

"Nothing... really... I just... I don't- I don't want to go home. I- I love it there, I really do, and I really miss my parents, but... Petunia's being so horrid!" Lily said, wiping her eyes with her sleeve, "and James was so lovely last night! He was a perfect gentleman, and... it- it's so stupid, but I feel so down thinking I won't see him for two weeks..."

Bess grinned. "That's not stupid at all! I get it, I really do. It's not like you can just facetime him or something..."

"What's facetime?" Lily asked, sniffling and looking at Bess.

Bess grimaced and tried to find the words to explain. "It's uh... it's a... it's kind of like where you have..." she just couldn't describe it without explaining phones, and that would open a whole can of worms about her time and the world she was- of course! Bess thought, mentally slapping herself before she said, "you know the Muggle world I thought I was in before?"

Lily nodded and sniffed again.

"There were these things that you could use to communicate. Like owls, but instead it was... kind of like a two way mirror? So you'd be able to hold up a telephone in front of you and chat to someone else through it."

"Wow... your imagination is ridiculous!" Lily said, with a bemused smile on her face. "That's so rad. Honestly, I think that would make things a lot easier!"

Bess smiled and nodded, before she asked, "Are your parents hooked up to the Floo network?"

Lily shook her head. "I think that would be a step too far for them... they're so proud of my magic, but Petunia's very... difficult... it would make it hard for them if she saw me Floo-ing in and out."

Bess nodded. "Well, I'm sure there'll be a way for us to see you over the holidays... I honestly can't imagine having to spend two weeks with just those two idiots and James' parents!"

Lily laughed and reached over to hug Bess tightly. "Thank you. Honestly, if I can see you for just a day..."

Bess hugged her back and smiled. "We'll work it out. Can't leave you with Petunia the whole time!"

Lily laughed before asking quietly, "Do you think she'll hate me forever?"

"I think she's just jealous, and it's..." Bess trailed off, thinking about what Petunia would do to Harry. "Honestly? She's your sister so you'll always love her and want her to be there for you, but I don't think she will be."

"But maybe one day?" Lily asked, resting her head on Bess' shoulder and wiping away her tears which had begun to fall again.

Bess pursed her lips and waited a moment before whispering, "Yeah, Lils... maybe one day."

xXx

By the time Lily had felt ready to head down to the Great Hall, breakfast was over, so the two girls just joined the line of students heading outside.

Just as Lily's stomach growled loudly, Bess removed the four pain au chocolats she'd hidden in her bag the previous night, and gave two to Lily before removing the stasis charm on them.

"Oh my god, you're a lifesaver!" Lily cried before shoving half of the pastry into her mouth as Bess threw her head back and laughed.

As she looked around at the masses of students waiting for the carriages, Bess caught James' eye and waved. Lily followed her line of sight and went bright red before turning her back to James and quickly chewing the food in her mouth.

"Quick, quick, quick, he's coming this way!" Bess whispered frantically as Lily went redder and tried to chew quicker.

Finally, Lily gulped down her food and turned around, throwing her hair over her shoulder. Bess tried not to laugh as Lily looked around before turning to back to Bess and slapped her on the arm with her bag, saying, "I hate you!"

"I'm sorry, I couldn't resist!" Bess said, still laughing, "are you blushing?"

"Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!" Lily hissed, whacking Bess on the arm with every two words as Bess laughed.

"Oh come on! You would've done the same to me!"

Lily just glared, before asking, "So where were you last night anyway?" She raised an eyebrow, and Bess knew that she had an inkling what had happened, and was just asking to deflect the conversation away from her obvious crush.

Bess sighed and looked down, her laughter leaving her immediately. "Uh- Delbert told me a little more about who attacked me..."

Lily, who didn't seem to have been expecting Bess to say that, looked up sharply and gasped. "Oh god! At a party? Why would he do that?"

"It's okay, he was just trying to protect me," Bess mumbled as she heard the stampede of hooves approaching. "He uh- he tried to warn me away from Sirius."

"Because of his family?" Lily asked in a whisper, putting an arm around Bess' middle as Bess nodded. "But why would Professor Serpen mention it to him if he knew...?"

"He didn't... I mean, I- Delbert said Jasper's been taken off my case. Conflict of interest since he's my teacher now. And... well, Jasper knows you all, doesn't he? And he was Head Boy, so I'm guessing he had plenty of run-ins with the boys, so he wouldn't have even thought Sirius would be a threat... Delbert on the other hand..."

Lily nodded slowly and send Bess an apologetic look before the crowd began to move towards the carriages. Lily pushed Bess forwards slightly, and they fell in to a walk, heading towards the back of the line of carriages.

When Bess finally looked up, she took a deep breath in.

The Thestrals were even worse a sight to behold than Bess had been expecting. She gulped slightly as she took in their reptilian skin, massive leathery wings, and skeletal bodies, and thought about what Daphne must have seen for Bess to be able to see these creatures now.

She felt a bit sick, thinking about the fact that within three weeks, she would have been in this world for an entire year. She gulped back the bile which had begun to ascend to her throat, and took in a deep, shuddering breath as she continued to stare at the winged creatures.

"You okay?" Lily asked, trying to look at the front of the carriages.

"You can't see them?" Bess asked quietly, nodding her head towards the Thestrals pulling the carriages.

"No... I can't," Lily said sadly.

"Thought you might be able to see 'em too..."

Bess looked to her left to see Bartie standing there, frowning at the front of the carriages as well.

"Who...?" She asked in a whisper.

Bartie sighed and put his hands in his pockets as he tilted his head to the side. "My dad. Died last year."

Bess nodded and frowned at him. "I'm sorry."

"It's okay, it was a long time coming," he replied, taking another deep breath in and finally looking at Bess. "You'll get used to them. I thought I was crazy first time I saw 'em, but Hagrid explained it to me, and now we're old pals!" He said, before grinning and stepping forwards and reaching a hand up to pet the Thestral on the head.

Bess grinned and walked forwards, before placing a hand on the Thestral's side. "It feels..."

"Disgusting...?"

"Interesting," Bess laughed, "I was going to say interesting."

"Sure you were..." Bartie said with a laugh, before he went back to petting the Thestral. "People'll think you're crazy, for seeing them, but they'll get used to it."

Bess smiled at him sadly. "Really?"

"Nah. But it's nice to think... well, I'll let you get on..." he said, looking behind her quickly, before smiling again and walking off.

"Alright, love?" She heard Sirius say as he slipped his arms around her middle and pulled her back slightly. She looked up to see him glaring slightly at Bartie's back, as the boy walked back towards Grace and Amarella.

"Are you jealous?" Bess asked as she turned in his arms and leant up to kiss Sirius on the chin.

"No..." Sirius replied a little too quickly.

"I have lunch with him every day," Bess said, as she wrapped her arms around his middle and looked up at him, a small smile on her face.

"Still..." Sirius said, still glaring at the boy.

"What d'you think is going to happen?"

"Honestly?"

Bess nodded before leaning in and placing a kiss on his neck.

"He's going to steal you away for a boring life of briefcases and financial security," Sirius said, a completely sincere look on his face.

Bess couldn't help but laugh out loud. "What on earth are you talking about?"

Sirius frowned down at her and bit his lip. "I don't know. I just think... I just worry one day you'll wake up and realise the poor Blood Traitor isn't worth it."

"First of all," Bess said as she reached up and brushed his hair from his forehead, "I have enough money for both of us for now. I can't say it'll last forever, school fees and stuff aside, but if you ever need any of it, it's yours. Second of all, I think it's more of a risk that you'll wake up and realise the Mudblood isn't worth it."

Sirius frowned. "I don't want your money, Bess, that's yours."

"I know, but if you did, I would give it to you in a heartbeat. I would for any of you," she replied, before kissing his chin again.

"I could never think you weren't worth it. You are," Sirius said as he cupped her jaw, before leaning down and kissing her.

When he pulled away, she said, "Sirius, like I said last night. For me, there's only you," before she kissed him again.

Bess pulled away first this time, and put her hands on his chest, pushing him away from her. "However, I have friends to spend time with, so please leave..." she said, a playfully serious expression on her face.

"Told you you'd get tired of me..." he replied with a half smile.

Bess rolled her eyes and walked over to Lily, who was just stuffing the other half of her pain au chocolat in her mouth. "Oh, hi James," she said, looking over Lily's head.

Lily glared at her through her mouthful of food and mumbled, "You're the worst."

"What was that?" James asked, dodging in front of the girls to try to hear what Lily was saying better.

Lily, who hadn't believed that James was actually there, managed to splutter flakes of pastry out of her mouth, spitting them directly in to James' face as Bess laughed.

Lily looked mortified, but James just cleaned himself up and sent her a giant smile. "I think you owe me a pumpkin pasty for that one, Evans..."

"Two o'clock," Bess said loudly.

"What?" James asked, clearly confused.

"Lily's got her train patrol at two o'clock. I'm sure she'd be happy to buy you a pasty then?" Bess said, raising an eyebrow at Lily, who went bright red and nodded.

"Yeah, definitely," she said, adding quickly, "I mean... if you want... and as long as you don't do anything stupid on the train."

James grinned and nodded enthusiastically, before shooting Bess a double thumbs up and running back over to his friends.

xXx

As she sat in the carriage on the way to Hogsmeade Station, Bess couldn't help but stare out of the window at Hogwarts. It was the first time, if you didn't count their Hogsmeade trip, that she'd left the grounds in almost three months.

So much had happened since she'd joined the school, and she couldn't help but feel a panic growing in her chest at the thought of being back out in the unsafe world.

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that something would go wrong, and soon, that she barely registered the large red train, steam billowing from its engine, as Lily pulled her along the platform and wrenched open the door to a compartment.

The first two hours of the journey flew by, as Bess pretended to read her new book and tried to shake off her feeling of worry.

It was only at one o'clock that her feeling dissipated slightly and she felt like she could breathe again, but the feeling that something was coming sat in the back of her mind.

She forced herself to spend the next few hours chatting, eating sweets, and laughing with her dorm mates, commiserating with Solstice about her boyfriend - who really should not be her boyfriend anymore - and mentally preparing herself for meeting Euphemia and Fleamont Potter, instead of waiting for something bad to happen.

However, just as she was beginning to think she was being stupid, all hell broke loose.

"-WAS NOT FUNNY, POTTER! YOU COULD HAVE REALLY HURT HIM!" Bess heard Lily scream outside the girls' carriage.

Bess jumped up and flung open the door, and poked her head out in to the hallway. She could feel and hear the other girls peering out behind, and below her as they crouched, leaned, and stepped out to see what was happening.

"Oh come on! He's an arse! All he cares about is what spell he can use on Muggleborns! He doesn't care about you, Lily!" James cried.

He was standing in the middle of the hallway, hand in his hair as he ruffled it up. His wand gripped tightly in his other hand.

"So what? That doesn't give you the right to hex him just because you can!"

"He was going to attack me first! You saw him! He had that weird book he's always greasing up in front of him!"

"THAT WAS HIS POTIONS TEXTBOOK, YOU ARSE!" Lily shouted back.

Even though she was facing away from Bess, she could tell the redhead was bright red.

James, to his credit, looked just as irate as Lily did, and was about to continue when Bess stepped out and put her hands on Lily's shoulders.

"James, I think you should-" Bess began.

"Oh. I bet you're on his side, aren't you?" Lily said, turning to glare at Bess.

"Whoa. I never-" Bess began, putting her hands up in surrender. She had no idea how she'd suddenly incurred Lily's wrath.

"You think she should be hanging round with that greasy git?!" James cried, sending Bess an equally angry look.

This was the last straw, and all of Bess' panic came out.

"STOP!" Bess roared, putting her hands up to the rowing couple. "ALL OF YOU, FUCK OFF!" She shouted, pointing to all of the bystanders.

"NOW!" When she shouted again, everyone began to run, walk quickly, or dash in to their carriages and out of the hallway, leaving her, James, Lily, Remus, Sirius, and Peter. Bess hadn't realised the boys were even there until everyone had left.

"You," she said, pointing at James. "There is no excuse for hexing someone for existing, whether you think they deserve it or not. And you," she said, turning to Lily, "I honestly don't care who you're friends with, as long as you're safe and happy, but remember, he wouldn't hesitate to call you a vile name, or hex people like us, and you know it. You are my best friend, Lily, but I will kill you if you put yourself in harm's way to prove a point, especially with a fucking Death Eater."

She glared at the two students in front of her. When they opened their mouths to say something, she raised both hands to silence them and said, "No. James, you were being an arse. Lily, James is right, Severus is making horrid spells in that book of his- spells he and his friends wouldn't hesitate to use on people like us. No, people like me. Because you're his exception. Whereas I'm the person he has attacked. Or do I mean so little to you that you've already forgotten that? And if you don't believe me, ask him what sectumsempra means and you'll know.

"But James, that does not mean you can hex him for no reason. And I don't care if you don't understand why she would defend someone like him, give her a fucking break. Snape is a grey area, especially right now. I can't begin to imagine the thoughts and feelings Lily's having right now. On the one hand, hating him and what he's become, but on the other wanting to stop you from being an utter arse and hurting him just because he's there!

"Now you two are going to make up right now, or I refuse to see you over break," she said, pointing at Lily, "or stay with you for two weeks," she said, pointing at James, "if all I'm going to hear about is how mad you both make each other.

"Stop self-sabotaging and just be kind, you idiots."

With that, Bess turned on her heel and stomped back to her compartment door. As she slid the door open, Sirius called out to her, "love, you're sexy when you're mad."

The glare she shot him wiped the smile off his face in an instant, and she said, "shut it, Black," before walking into the compartment and slamming the door shut behind her.

She sat down in her seat with a huff and stared out of the window, grateful that the girls weren't saying anything to her.

Slowly, her breathing began to mellow out and she took deeper and deeper breaths as the thumping in her head slowed down and her heart rate began to settle.

At some point, the girls had left the compartment, and when Bess looked up, she realised they'd been replaced with James, Remus, Lily and Sirius. She didn't really care where Peter was, but she imagined he was either having a nap, or had gone in search of the trolley.

"What?" She asked tiredly.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to defend him, I just..." Lily said, trailing off and looking at her hands.

"Lily, honestly, I get it. I do. You've avoided him and ended your friendship but there's always going to be a little part of you that cares about what happens to him. Also, I can imagine it's hard seeing James hex someone, anyone really. I can't say anything there, considering I blew up at Sirius when he hexed than second year..."

"He gets younger every time you tell it!" Sirius complained. "He was a fourth year."

"But James," Bess continued, "you need to stop being a dick, or Lily will never go out with you. It's frustrating because you made such good progress and then you threw it all away. Ask yourself, do you want to get into fights with Snape for the rest of your life, or be happy with Lily?"

"No one said-" Lily began, before James cut over her.

"Lily. One hundred percent," he said firmly.

Lily looked at James with wide eyes. "Really?"

"Really," he said, nodding. "But if Snape hexes me first, I will defend myself."

Lily blushed and nodded before looking down at her hands again, a little smile on her face.

Bess leant in and whispered, "we'll talk about this later," before she sat back and took a deep breath, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have shouted at either of you, I just... ugh. I- I have... trouble... when it comes to people shouting, and... when people turn it on to me, I get...

"Ugh. Okay, in my memory, my parents used to fight a lot, and they would get angry with me and hurt me. So when people I care about shout at me, I get panicky and defensive and end up..."

"Putting them in their place?" Sirius offered.

"Or just being a dick... I- I can't really remember what I said... But I'm calm now, I really am. And I'm sorry for blowing up at you all..." Bess said, hanging her head.

"Love, they've had to deal with me for years. I think they get it," Sirius said, moving to kneel in front of Bess.

"But it's going to make Christmas really awkward..." Bess whispered.

Sirius chuckled and leant in to kiss her on the forehead. "Love, last Christmas I turned up on the Potter's' doorstep covered in blood. I officially ran away this past summer, but I left that Christmas. I'm sure blowing up at two people who are fighting is the least of James' issues."

"Yeah, I mean the biggest thing for me is having to tell my dad you hate his potion..." James said loudly.

"What potion?" Bess asked.

"Sleakeazy's..." Sirius said, before cringing.

"What d'you mean?" Bess asked, frowning.

"He invented it," James said with a grimace. "My dad invented Sleakeazy's."

Bess' face fell and she gasped and put her hands up to her cheeks as everyone laughed. "Oh my god! You... You can't tell him! No!"

"It's alright, he'll see the funny side!" Sirius said with a laugh.

"Maybe... Who knows..." James said with a shrug, before grinning teasingly and reclining in his seat.

"You know... I think one year I'll have a nice, relaxing trip on this train..." Remus said, looking up at the girls' trunks, pretending to be deep in thought.

Sirius and James laughed before James clapped Remus on the back and said, "Nah, you'd be the unlucky sod who becomes a teacher here for a quiet life and has to deal with our kids!"

Bess grinned as she tried not to think about how right James was, before she pursed her lips.

"Stop it, love," Sirius said, as he moved to sit next to her and flung his arm around her shoulders.

"But I... I caused a scene..."

"No love, you ended one. Just like me with that first year."

"I thought he was fourth..." Bess replied with a frown.

"Ah so you do listen to what I say..." he replied, grinning at her.

"Every word," Bess replied sincerely. "I am incredibly embarrassed though."

Sirius pursed his lips for a second before leaning in and kissing her deeply. When he pulled back, he winked at her and turned to Lily. "Have I ever told you about the time James' parents decided to have Bathilda Bagshot over for lunch last Easter?"

"I remember you bragging about meeting her..." Lily said, rolling her eyes.

Sirius laughed and continued, "Did I remember to say that James woke up late and ran in in just his boxers?"

Lily gasped and began to laugh, as Remus chuckled and Bess rolled her eyes.

"Oh yeah? Do I need to tell the one about a very naked Sirius, a broomstick and a snowman? Or shall we quit while we're ahead?" James asked, raising an eyebrow as everyone laughed.

Bess grinned and leaned in to Sirius' side, whispering in his ear, "I definitely want to hear about that one later..."

Chapter Text

Luckily, the rest of the train ride ran smoothly - the boys retreated back to their compartment, and Bess' dorm mates returned, surprisingly undeterred by her outburst.

"When you have to watch Lily and James going at it for six years, it's refreshing to see someone else shouting at them for a change!" Jo said as she hugged an embarrassed Bess.

Soon enough, they'd fallen in to their previous format - Bess soothing Solstice, who'd had another fight with her boyfriend while waiting for Bess to chat to the boys and Lily, and Lily and the other girls playing games, eating, chatting and laughing.

As the train came to a stop at Kings Cross Station, Bess could hardly believe her eyes.

The platform was filled to the brim with parents from the Wizarding and Muggle worlds alike - all grinning, waving and shouting to their children. Well... most were.

As Bess looked out the window, she spotted a witch whose beauty was only matched by the sneer on her face, which seemed to be prematurely aging her. As much as Bess wanted to look away, she couldn't - the woman was captivating for some reason, and seemed oddly familiar to Bess, with her dark hair, dark eyes, pale skin and aristocratic features.

She was dressed in immaculate robes of black satin with a dark emerald green cloak, and a matching handbag and gloves.

Bess watched as the woman drew herself up even straighter, if that were possible as her posture seemed immaculate, and narrowed her eyes as she placed a handkerchief across the lower half of her face.

Bess frowned and wondered what she was doing, as she didn't look like she had a cough or cold, until Bess realised that she was holding her nose, as if there were a terrible smell around her.

Bess stared at her for a long time, watching as she glared at students and their parents, and grew more and more impatient.

Bess was so wrapped up in the woman that she barely registered Mary saying, "C'mon Bess!" before she felt a hand on her back, and was pushed to standing.

"What're you looking at, love?" Sirius asked as he rubbed circles in to her back with his thumb and guided her out of the compartment and on to the platform.

"I don't-" Bess began, before shaking her head as she lost sight of the woman in the crowd. "Sorry. Nothing really," she continued, reaching round to put an arm around his middle as they began to push through the throng of students. She noticed that their trunks were floating behind them, bobbing along in their wake.

"Sure?" He asked, looking down at her quickly before moving his hand to hold hers in his and resuming his efforts to manoeuvre round the small groups, pulling her along behind him.

"Yeah, sorry, just got-"

Bess cut off as Sirius stopped suddenly and she slammed in to his back. The hand that had been holding hers let go, and she frowned in confusion.

She looked down and saw that he had placed both hands in his pockets. He looked completely at ease from the back, but Bess could tell he had his hand on his wand, and from the look she got of the side of his face, he was clenching his jaw and probably had a glare in place of his smile.

Bess looked around him, trying to work out who or what he was looking at until she realised that he could only be looking at one person - the woman she'd been staring at.

"Sirius, who is that-?" Bess began to ask, before she realised Sirius had begun to move again.

His hands remained in his pockets, but Bess realised he wanted her to move with him when his foot shot out behind him and quickly nudged the outside of her right leg, gently pushing her to the left. Dropping his foot, he began to edge towards the left as well, slowly moving around the crowd, creating a barrier between himself and the woman using students and their families, never taking his eyes off her.

Bess ducked her head slightly and stayed in his shadow, trying to be as inconspicuous as possible so as to avoid the woman as well. However, at one point she felt compelled to look up, and saw, as a chill went down her spine, that the woman was watching Sirius' movements with utter distain on her face.

Bess almost shivered at the hatred radiating from the woman, until she schooled her features to show only indifference and looked away suddenly, searching the crowd for someone else. She could only have been watching Sirius for a moment or two, but it felt to Bess as though hours had passed.

By the time Sirius navigated the rest of the platform, Bess was feeling more nauseous than she had on the train.

She'd known that Sirius' mother was horrid, but it was one thing reading about her, and another thing entirely to see her in the flesh.

Bess swallowed thickly, completely forgetting who she was meant to be meeting. They came to a stop near a large fireplace, and she looked over her shoulder to see the woman embracing Regulus, a smile now on her face.

Bess looked away as Sirius pulled her in to his arms and held on to her tightly, turning them both so that his back was to his mother, shielding Bess from view as he buried his face in her curls and took deep breaths.

After what felt like an age, he pulled away, his jaw still clenched, a glare on his face, as he cupped her jaw in his hands and leant down slightly, capturing her lips with his.

This kiss was full of an intensity that made Bess shiver and move even closer to him. There was a need there, and Bess could tell that he was trying to use the kiss to calm himself down and not fly off the handle.

She wrapped her arms around his shoulders as he moved his hands, bringing one to rest in her back pocket, pulling her closer still, as the other buried itself in her curls.

"Ahem," Bess heard a coughing behind her, and pulled away to see James standing there, a little red faced.

He was next to an older couple who were smiling slightly, as if trying to laugh away the awkwardness. Bess felt herself grow a little red as she lowered her arms from Sirius' shoulders.

The man had short hair, which, like James', stuck up in all directions, however his was grey and white, not black like James'. He wore glasses which were perched halfway down his nose, and he had sparkling blue eyes which shone out of his face, giving a youthful edge to his features, which were otherwise quite old.

The woman, Euphemia, was shorter, and Bess remembered her well from the first time they'd met. She had hazel eyes, a kind face, and long grey hair pulled in to an immaculate ponytail. She, too, seemed quite old, but again, had a youthful grace to her.

Bess tried not to think about the contrast between James' parents and Sirius' mother.

"Sorry," Sirius said, an edge to his voice as he allowed Bess to turn in his arms, bringing his hands around to grip her waist tightly. "Almost bumped in to Walburga," he said, gesturing over his shoulder quickly.

That seemed to be the only explanation needed, as the next moment, Euphemia nodded and leant forwards, smiling at Bess and asking, "have you side-along apparated before?"

When Bess shook her head, Euphemia pursed her lips and frowned. It seemed to Bess that they were trying to figure out the quickest way to leave.

"I'm happy to just go for it though. We'll be starting lessons after Christmas anyway, so it'll be good to know what it's like!" Bess said quickly, smiling down at the kind faced witch.

Euphemia's frown was instantly replaced with a grin as she placed a hand on Bess' forearm and said, "Hold on tight, it'll be over in a moment," before Bess felt her grip tighten even more as she turned on the spot.

Everything went black. Bess tried to gasp, but she couldn't even breathe, let alone move any part of her body enough to be able to fill her lungs with air. Her body felt like it was being compressed, her chest tightened impossibly, her eyes and ears felt like she was underwater, and then just as suddenly as the feeling had come along, it left, and Bess found herself standing in a side street.

She took a deep breath in and looked around, trying to calm the shaking in her legs by familiarising herself with her surroundings as she took deep calming breaths.

"They'll be along in a minute, " Euphemia said, before putting a hand on Bess' arm again and steadying the younger girl. "Flea's just taking the trunks home first. It's hard enough doing a double side-along at our age, let alone with three trunks in tow!"

Bess smiled and nodded, sending a look of thanks before looking around again. She summised that they were in an older town, by the looks of the buildings which all had thatched roofs and black beams running along the outside.

Her thoughts were interrupted by Euphemia, who added, "And I wouldn't mention Sirius' mother just yet-", before she was cut off by a loud pop.

"Aw did we miss it? Told you we should've just come straight here, Dad!" She heard James say loudly.

Turning to him with a frown, Bess raised an eyebrow when she realised he was staring at her intently.

"Miss what?" She asked.

"You throwing up! Side-along's hard on newbies!" He said, with too much of a gleeful voice for Bess' liking.

"Maybe... But I'm used to panic attacks, which last a lot longer and feel just as unpleasant..." Bess said, before trailing off as she caught the pitying looks on the foursome's faces. "It's just... you get used to it... Anyway!" She cried, turning to face the older witch and wizard. "You must be Mr and Mrs Potter? It's so lovely to properly meet you again," she said, smiling at Euphemia, before looking at Fleamont, "and to meet you, Mr. Potter. Thank you so much for letting me stay with you for Christmas, it means more to me than I can say."

Euphemia beamed and stepped forwards, pulling Bess in to a warm, tight hug, as Fleamont laughed and clapped Bess on the back as he said, "Of course! James has a knack for adding to our brood. Happy to have you!"

In that moment she knew exactly where James had come from. He had his mother's eyes and smile, but his father's nose, face shape and, by the looks of things, eyesight. His height evidentially came from the some other relative, as both of his parents were shorter than him - Fleamont only standing an inch taller than Bess' five foot ten, and Euphemia being around five foot three.

But the similarities ran deeper than just the physical - James had his dad's mannerisms - the same laugh, his ability to put you instantly at ease by clapping you on the back like an old friend... And he had his mother's warmth and twinkle in her eye, and Bess could tell that she was just scraping the surface with these observations.

She could tell he'd grown up in a household full of love, and it made her so incredibly happy that she almost cried. Well, she did cry. But she held most of it back, and only allowed a few tears to fall.

"Oh no, dear, are you okay?" Euphemia asked quickly, pulling back to look at Bess' face.

"Yeah, sorry, I just thought about how lovely you both are and how unfortunate it is that you ended up having James as your son..." she said, choking out a laugh.

If she'd been worried they wouldn't see the funny side, she would have been instantly relieved - both of them roared with laughter and she felt Euphemia pull her in for another hug as Fleamont said loudly, "I like this one!" As he pointed to her and looked at the two boys.

"Yeah, she's alright. Shame she's got rubbish taste in guys though!" James said loudly, clapping Sirius on the back.

Sirius, who was already looking at Bess with a smile on his face, grinned and winked at her at his friend's words. Bess smiled back, feeling relieved that he looked infinitely more relaxed and happier than he had on the platform.

She had the feeling that Fleamont didn't really need to take the trunks home first, but had been giving Sirius some time.

"Right," Fleamont said with a chuckle as he clapped his hands together. "Time to eat!"

With that, he led the group down the side street before, when they reached the main road which was more of a cobbled street large enough for maybe one or two cars to drive down at once, he turned sharply and opened a non descript door which Bess would have otherwise missed.

As they walked in, Bess looked up to see the sign hanging above the entrance, which read, "The Wizard's Loch".

"Best pub in Britain!" Fleamont cried as he greeted the hostess warmly and turned to send Bess a wink.

"Oh you really are too kind! Back again, boys? How was school?" The hostess asked as she showed them to a table towards the back of the pub.

When they reached the table, Bess felt Sirius push her gently towards one of the seats as he pulled it out for her. She smiled at him and he grinned back, before sitting next to her and putting his hand on her thigh, squeezing it slightly.

"Do you come here a lot?" She asked, as Euphemia handed her a large menu.

Sirius and James, she noticed, weren't even looking at the list of dishes, and were instead leaning towards Fleamont and beginning to tell him what mischief they'd been up to that term. Rather than being concerned at their behaviour, Fleamont appeared proud, hanging on their every word.

"At least once every two weeks in the summer, and the night before the boys go back to school after the holidays. We thought we'd treat you all since it's your first time with us! Much easier than one of us having to be in the kitchen and missing all the gossip!" Euphemia replied as she placed her menu on the table, having decided what she would be getting.

Bess smiled and nodded before looking down at the list of dishes. She felt slightly overwhelmed with the choices, having not needed to choose one single dish for months.

Evidently, the other four picked their food and ordered incredibly quickly whenever they came to the pub, as before Bess knew it, the hostess was back, and Fleamont was ordering a platter of sharing starters, two bottles of red wine, "even though James shouldn't have any," and his main dish.

Bess quickly scanned the menu as she heard Euphemia order, before Bess asked the waitress to come back to her once James and Sirius had ordered.

What felt like a moment later, she decided to just panic order and deal with the consequences later, so she pointed to something random and the waitress nodded and took her menu.

"What'd you get?" James asked.

Bess grimaced and shrugged. "No idea. Find out soon though... Just hope it's not bad..."

"You ordered... What d'you mean you don't know?" James asked incredulously. He didn't seem to be able to fathom the idea.

Bess shrugged again. "Dunno, I just pointed... I think it has about a sixty percent success rate. Normally I've got enough time to figure out three things I could want and then I just choose from one of those when they come round, but I didn't have enough time..."

"You know there's some really random stuff on here, right?" James asked, as Sirius barked out a laugh and leant in to kiss Bess on the cheek.

She was now, officially worried about what she'd just ordered.

Just then, the waitress came back with their glasses, a pitcher of water, and the wine. Bess pursed her lips and, when Sirius passed her a glass, took a large gulp of her wine.

"Erin, what did young Bess here just order?" Fleamont asked with a laugh.

The waitress chuckled and rolled her eyes before pulling out her pad and saying, "The prawn curry."

One look at the boys' faces made Bess think she'd made a massive mistake.

"What...?" She asked apprehensively.

"It won't blow your face off, but made this one go bright red... and he spluttered... It was a whole thing," the waitress replied, nodding to James and sending Bess a look.

Bess laughed and nodded. "Sounds perfect!"

"You'll regret that..." James said loudly as the waitress left.

Fifty minutes later, after the delicious starters were cleared away, Bess' meal arrived and she took a large bite, watched by everyone. A second later, she frowned and looked up at the waitress as she chewed and swallowed, eyes wide.

For a moment she didn't say anything, until a smile came across her face and she mouthed, "this?" as she cocked her head to the side and pointed at the meal.

The waitress bit her lip and nodded, trying not to laugh. Bess pulled her lips in to a small line and nodded, before shaking her head and taking another large mouthful.

"How are you not gasping?!" James asked incredulously.

Bess swallowed her mouthful before responding, "Because I grew up with spice, James, and this is... medium. It's not like it's a Nandos hot or anything..."

"What's Nandos?"

Bess looked up, and opened and shut her mouth, "Uh- Muggle chicken place..." she added, trying not to let them cotton on to the fact that that this certain chain didn't even exist in the UK until 1992.

"Real world or fake world?" James asked quietly, leaning in so only the five of them would be able to hear what he was saying.

"Well... that one's about your perspective, isn't it?" Bess asked, smiling slightly. She found his questions about her past refreshing. He wasn't as scared to bring it up as Lily, Remus and Peter were, and seemed to take Dumbledore's explanation that it was all made up in her head, in his stride.

She could tell from the looks on their faces, that James had explained to his parents that Bess had memories of an entirely Muggle life. He'd asked her permission to warn them before the came to visit, but she hadn't seen him anywhere near the owlery in the last two weeks of term so she wondered when he'd had the opportunity to speak to them.

"Perspective?" Sirius asked, as he stretched an arm across the back of Bess' chair and leant back slightly as he looked at her.

Bess turned to look at him and said, "Well, someone once told me, and I'm paraphrasing here, 'of course it is happening inside your head, but why should that mean it's not real?'"

"Huh... That's interesting... Who said that?" he asked, reaching for his wine.

"You wouldn't know him well, but we're best buds. Long beard... white hair... twinkling blue eyes..." Bess said, before grinning and sipping her drink as Sirius glared at her playfully.

"I'll have you know, Albus and I go way back..."

"Is that right? Well have you had tea and cake with him?" Bess asked, raising an eyebrow and shaking her head at him, a close lipped smile on her face.

"No..."

"Has he given you sherbet lemons?"

"No..."

"And sugar quills?"

"No..."

"And the password to his office... in case of emergencies?"

"He did not!" Sirius said, sitting up straight and staring at her as if she were an alien.

Bess nodded quickly and said, "Definitely did," before shaking her head and adding, "and no, I'm not telling."

Sirius grinned and leant in to place a small kiss on her lips before rubbing his nose against hers and pulling back slightly.

"Can I rescind my offer to stay with us?" James asked loudly, and Bess and Sirius laughed at the look on his face - pure disgust.

Fleamont and Euphemia, Bess noticed, were grinning at each other, and leant in to share a kiss which made James jokingly gag, before Euphemia said, "If I wasn't happy to have you before, now, I'm ecstatic. I don't think we've ever seen Sirius like this."

Bess smiled as Sirius rolled his eyes and began to eat again. She took a second to look at him as he ate, slightly surprised that he was able to joke and smile as much as he had done at dinner, considering he'd almost bumped in to his mother. But then she remembered that this was his family now, and he would probably feel as safe and protected as Bess did in that moment. Moreso, as she'd only just met the Potters, whereas he'd known them for years.

When they'd finished their mains and the boys had finished their desserts - Bess had thought it better to be safe than sorry, even though she'd been eyeing up the brownie - Fleamont removed a sack from his pocket and headed to the front to pay.

"Dad thinks it's uncouth to pay in front of guests," James said, rolling his eyes.

"Oh, I can-" Bess began, reaching in to her pocket, but Euphemia shot her down with a stern look.

"Don't you dare. We have enough gold to last several lifetimes and who would we be if we didn't share it with our friends and family?" She asked, before giving Bess' arm a squeeze.

"Thank you," Bess said quietly, as she added generosity to the list of things James got from his both of his parents.

"Don't mention it," Euphemia said with a smile before drawing back and turning to ask James something.

"Which is funny, because if this was dinner with my parents," Sirius said quietly to Bess, a cold and angry tone to his voice as he frowned at the table, his arm once again slung across the back of Bess' chair as he absentmindedly rubbed circles into the back of her neck, "I'd hear about it for weeks afterwards if you didn't even offer to pay, even though if you did they'd also shoot you down."

"Uh, maybe, but what self respecting blood purist would have a Muggleborn over for dinner?" Bess asked, raising an eyebrow and cocking her head to the side, trying to lighten his mood.

It worked. Sirius looked at her, a small smile on his face. "You're taking all this surprisingly well. I thought when you saw-"

Bess raised a hand and said quietly, "Honestly, my parents were almost disowned for getting together because she was black and he was white, and I'm mixed race. I know a thing or two about racism. Even if I didn't, you've seen my scars - I know a lot about blood purists too. I don't need to meet them," she added, to try and ease the frown on his face.

Before Sirius could answer, Fleamont returned and they all donned their cloaks, coats, or jackets, and walked out into the freezing cold night.

As they came to a stop at the middle of the side street again, Bess pulled her jacket around her, and stamped her feet, watching the mist rising from her mouth as she breathed out. She opened her mouth wider, letting out a large sigh of air and smiled as she watched the steam swirl upwards.

"Ready?" Euphemia asked, taking Bess' forearm. Bess nodded, and just registered Sirius looking at her as the world faded away and she found herself compressed once more. A little more used to the sensation this time, she counted to five before the world slammed back in to focus and her feet landed on the ground.

This time, she definitely felt sick. She'd only finished eating a few minutes previously and could feel her stomach begin to churn as her mouth filled with saliva.

Without saying a word, Euphemia pointed at a bush and Bess ran over to it, just managing to get behind it before she threw up.

She just about registered a pop as she retched again, and a moment later she heard James' laughter echoing into the night. She could see him through the leaves of the bush she was hiding behind, so she pulled out her wand and smiled as she heard a yell and a thump as her non-verbal jelly legs jinx hit him.

A two and a half hour dinner and drinks had made Bess confident that James' parents would see the funny side, and was pleased to hear them joining Sirius in laughing before Fleamont reversed the spell.

Finally, she stood, vanished her pile of sick, and cast a few spells to clean herself up. She stumbled round the bush and grinned cheekily at James who was glaring at her - he wouldn't turn 17 until March, so wasn't able to retaliate.

"I cleaned up..." Bess said as she walked up to Sirius.

He laughed and wrapped his arms around her, kissing her on the forehead before saying, "Sorry, love, but I'll have to help Prongs get you back for that one later..."

Bess grinned and said, "I'd expect nothing less. Just... go easy on me?"

"Can't promise anything, love, sorry."

Bess sighed and nodded, before Sirius moved, sliding an arm around her waist and beginning to walk down a dark path lined with tall hedges.

"We're just up here, not far at all. Euphemia insisted we put up anti-Apparition wards last year, so can't get any closer, I'm afraid," Fleamont called from the front of the line.

Soon enough, they came to the end of the long drive, and Bess' mouth dropped open. In front of her stood a gorgeous cottage with the most beautiful garden around it, and a small stone wall circling the perimeter.

Fleamont opened the squat wooden gate and walked up to the large red front door, pulling out his wand and casting a few non-verbal spells before turning the large brass handle and pushing it open.

"Welcome home, boys!" Euphemia said proudly, as she followed Fleamont over the threshold. "And please, make yourself at home, Bess. Now boys, please try not to break anything before-"

"Sorry Mum!" Came James' voice as Euphemia was cut off by a loud crash. "Honestly though, a vase next to the door? Ridiculous."

"He does that every time he comes home. I think she puts it there on purpose..." Sirius whispered in Bess' ear before he walked inside, leaving Bess to herself for a moment.

She took a deep breath in and smiled slightly. She knew they'd only just met, but she already felt like she was part of a family.

Chapter Text

Bess watched the boys make a beeline for what looked like the living room, and walked inside.

Once she'd had taken off her jacket and shoes, handing them to a coat rack which held out an 'arm' and thanked her when she'd deposited her items, Euphemia grabbed her and asked if she wanted to see where she would be sleeping, and the two began to climb the stairs.

"Boys..." Euphemia warned, as Bess and the older witch reached the top of the set of wooden stairs.

"Oh come on Mum! It's tradition!" James called up as he walked out of the living room and stood in the hallway holding a quaffle in his hands.

"No, it's not. Put it back and wait until tomorrow. You know if you start a game your father will want to have a go, and he'll break a hip again!"

"What? When'd he break the first one?" James asked, a shocked look on his face, as Sirius came to stand next to him. Bess tried not to smile as she saw both of them staring up at the Euphemia with worried expressions on their faces.

"Euph... Are you telling tales again?" Fleamont asked as he came in to the hallway from a different door, carrying what looked like a large pot filled with firewood and kindling.

"Merlin, Dad! You shouldn't be doing that!" James said, dropping the quaffle and walking over to help his dad.

"I keep telling him!" Euphemia said in an accusatory tone, as James continued to try to take the pot away from Fleamont, who was trying to wave him away. "But no. Almost seventeen years-"

Bess tried not to laugh as Fleamont wrestled with James and said loudly, "Too bloody right! Almost seventeen years I've made sure I'm up to par to spend time with my boy, and I'm not stopping yet!"

"Oh come on, Dad!" James cried, still trying to take the wood away from his father. "Just let me help!"

"I don't need it!" Fleamont said, pushing James away slightly until Sirius joined in and he was overpowered. "For Merlin's sake! You're the one who made me promise-"

Whatever he was going to say was cut off as the boys retreated to the living room again and walked out of Bess' hearing range.

Bess turned to look at Euphemia, her eyes wide and a questioning look on her face as she tried not to burst out laughing still.

Euphemia rolled her eyes and motioned for Bess to follow her, before saying, "It is a tradition really, but first night back from school Fleamont and James have a quidditch session. Since Sirius came to live with us, Fleamont's been really trying to up his game. He practiced every day for the last three weeks just so he wouldn't embarrass himself. He even broke his hip trying a particularly tricky manoeuvre.

"If I've told him once, I've told him a thousand times, we're too old for that now, but will he listen? No!"

Bess grinned as she followed James' mum through a long hall, round the corner, and down a shorter hallway with four doors leading off it.

Euphemia pointed to the first door and said, "That's the bathroom, you'll have to share with Sirius I'm afraid," before sending Bess an apologetic look and continuing, "as put together as he looks, he really is a slob. Worse than James. But that's what happens when you grow up with a house elf and then go to a school with hundreds of them.

"This," she said, pointing to the door across from the bathroom, "is Sirius' room." She quickly opened the door to let Bess have a look.

It was large and bright, lit with candles and overhead lights, and had a rather comfy looking bed in the centre of the room. A small wooden writing desk and chair sat underneath the window, and Bess noticed a bookshelf filled with textbooks and novels before the door was shut once more.

"This is just a dumping ground really," Euphemia said, pointing to the third door. "Officially it's the guest room, but we don't have much family left, it's just the boys really," she continued, sending a look to Bess as she said, "for now at least. Maybe one day it'll be a nursery?"

Bess frowned inwardly but nodded and smiled at the older witch. She couldn't work out why Euphemia had winked and raised an eyebrow as she mentioned the nursery.

"And this is you!" Euphemia threw open the door and held out her hand.

Bess grinned and walked in to the room. Even bigger than Sirius', books lined one wall, while windows lined another. A queen sized bed sat in the middle of the room, backed up to the wall in front of Bess.

A large mahogany writing desk sat against the wall next to the door, and Bess noticed a small pile of things in the corner of the room next to her trunk.

"What do you think?"

Bess turned to face her and said, "I think Sirius and I should swap!"

Euphemia laughed and shook her head. "Please, don't make Fleamont switch the rooms back again. He can do it with a flick of his wand but somehow it takes him three hours, two cups of tea and a newspaper to get through the ordeal!"

"Switch back?" Bess asked, cocking her head to the side and frowning.

"Didn't he-?" Euphemia began, before rolling her eyes and waving her hand. "Sirius asked us to switch your rooms. Wanted you to have the view I think. It is beautiful," Euphemia said as she walked further in to the room and looked out of the window at the stars, which shined brightly above them. "In the daytime you can see the garden.

"Fleamont's quite the potioneer," she said, as if her husband wasn't a master potioneer who'd created Sleakeazy's, "and from what we've seen, James is taking after him." She added, with a proud smile. "That's why we love the garden so much - we grow as many of our ingredients as we can, and we've thrown in a few Muggle herbs and plants to spice things up a bit.

"James even has his own little patch. When he was little, he used to think he was such a wonderful gardener, until he returned for Easter in his first year, Sirius in tow, and Fleamont went on gardening strike for a week, leaving me to do it all!

"I think Fleamont was just excited to have another boy in the house! Anyway, one week without his father tending to his plants showed James just how little he knew about them!"

Bess watched the older witch, who had a far off look in her eye and a smile on her face, and couldn't help but grin.

"But I'm sure you don't want to hear any more about that!" Euphemia said, waking to the door.

"Oh, I really do!" Bess said enthusiastically, nodding her head, "I love those stories... I don't know if James told you, but I actually spent the night of my birthday with him in the grounds of Hogwarts?" When Euphemia shook her head, Bess continued, "I was trying to find the kitchens, and James was sneaking down to the Herbology greenhouses to water the mandrakes!"

Euphemia shook her head and laughed. "Well I have hundreds about Sirius... I'll think of a few to tell at lunch tomorrow."

"Thank you."

"Well, get settled in, change into your pyjamas and then come back downstairs? I know it's late," she said, looking quickly at a small clock sat on the desk which said it was already half ten, "but if you're up for it, I think it's time for hot chocolate and a bedtime story."

Bess raised an eyebrow at the last addition, but found herself pleasantly intrigued when Euphemia winked and walked out of the room.

When the door shut behind Euphemia, Bess ran over to her trunk, eager to get back downstairs. She unlocked it and just managed to remove a pair of pyjama trousers and a long sleeved top when there was a knock at her door.

"Alright, love?" Sirius asked as he bounded in, not stopping to ask for permission, but walking straight over to the small pile of things next to Bess' trunk and rifling through it.

He found what he was looking for and grinned, before throwing it up and down in the air and standing up. Bess rolled her eyes and stood as well, walking over to the bed and putting down her things, as Sirius jumped onto the bed, putting his hands behind his head and crossing one leg over the other as he reclined.

"What're you doing?" She asked, staring at him.

"Watching..." he replied with a half smile and a wink.

Bess pursed her lips to stop from smiling and said, "Out."

"Oh come on!"

"Out."

"It's not like I haven't seen it all already!"

This time, Bess' mouth dropped open and she pointed at the door and said, "Definitely out!"

Sirius just laughed and jumped up, stopped to give her a toe-curlingly good kiss, and loped over to the door, before saying, "See you down there, love," as he left, closing the door behind him.

Five minutes later, Bess found herself at the top of the stairs, taking a quick moment to herself. She could hear the boys chatting to James' parents, and smiled to herself as she heard Euphemia scolding them for something.

She took a deep breath and ran down the stairs, before walking in to a cosy snug, filled with three comfy looking sofas, two armchairs, a roaring fire, and, in the middle of everything, a large coffee table with mugs, a large teapot, and little bowls filled with marshmallows, cinnamon sticks, sugar, and chocoballs.

"Bess! Rule one - we leave the snitches on the Quidditch pitch!" James said to her, glaring as she entered.

Bess raised an eyebrow, before making eye contact with Euphemia, who mouthed, "mandrakes."

Bess groaned as she sat down on the empty sofa. "Christ, sorry James..."

James was sat cross legged on his sofa, a bag of Bertie Botts beans in front of him. Sirius was spread out next to him, his feet up on the coffee table, arms thrown across the arm of the sofa and the back of it. He looked the picture of relaxation, and Bess found it difficult not to wonder if he'd be that relaxed if they ever found somewhere to live together. She shook herself out of her thoughts, realising how ridiculous she sounded, as Fleamont spoke again.

"It's not the mandrakes, it's the fact that we got a letter from the school two days later, saying that they couldn't prove anything, but they thought James might have covered a statue in Hippogriff dung. James denied everything but..."

"That's what that was?" Bess asked quietly, remembering the foul smelling bucket.

"Bess!" James cried, raising his arms up in annoyance.

Bess tried not to laugh at the look on his face.

"Honestly, we get letters home about you two every week! I swear to Merlin," Euphemia said as Fleamont laughed. "Bess, do you get in to half as much trouble?"

"Not really, but when I do it's not too bad..." she said thoughtfully.

"How d'you mean?" James asked.

"Well my parents are dead and I'm on my own now," she said quickly, registering a few sympathetic intakes of breath as she continued, "so if I get a detention or a letter or anything it comes straight to me, and I read it, and then go and look at myself in the mirror and say, 'tut tut tut, that was very bad, Bess,'" she said, wagging a finger, before turning her head and pretending to chat to herself, "'but Filch was being horrid, it's not my fault he walked in to his office and was instantly surrounded by dungbombs.'" She shrugged and turned the other way, "'I guess that's fair,'" she said understandingly, before turning back and saying, "'thank you Bess, you really are great. Dessert tonight?'"

Everyone laughed, and Sirius let out a strangled noise as he abandoned James' sofa and sat next to Bess before cupping her face and kissing her.

"Ah, hoops," Fleamont said quietly, but Bess heard him.

"Okay seriously, what does that even mean?" Bess asked, looking around the room as she pushed Sirius away gently, slightly embarrassed by the display in front of James' parents.

"What?" Sirius asked, as he rolled his eyes and readjusted on the sofa, throwing an arm around Bess' shoulders and stretching out again.

Bess squeezed his thigh quickly before she pulled her hand back, putting it on her lap as she raised her eyebrows and said, "Hoops."

Fleamont grinned and said, "Oooh! That's a Potter thing I'm afraid. In Quidditch, who protects the hoops?"

"The keeper?" Bess asked, frowning.

"Exactly! So if you're hoops, you're...?"

"Giant, gold and have a hole?" Bess asked without thinking about the connotations of what she was saying until it was too late. Everyone laughed as Bess went bright red.

Recovering first, James said, "No you're the keeper! Hoops means you're a keeper."

"Oh my god of course!" She said, slapping her hand to her head, before she realised what that meant, and turned to Sirius. "Wait, you think I'm hoops?"

He smiled and reached a hand up to brush a curl away from her face, but didn't say anything as he stared at her.

After a few moments, Fleamont clapped him hands together and said, "Drinks?"

He began to pour the drinks out and handed a mug to each of them. Bess loaded hers up with marshmallows and sat back, bringing her knees up to her chest and resting the mug on her knee.

"What story tonight boys?" Fleamont asked as he used a cinnamon stick to stir his chocolate.

"Let's start with... Fourth year!" James replied with a grin.

Fleamont grinned, and took a sip of his chocolate as Euphemia rolled her eyes and explained to Bess, "My bedtime stories are things like the tales of Beedle the Bard. Fleamont's are all about his days at Hogwarts, which included a lot more fighting..."

"Dad was bullied for his name. Became a master dueller at what, fifteen?" James said, looking from Bess to his dad, who nodded.

"I get that. It is a stupid name..." Bess said, and smiled as she heard Sirius gasp quietly next to her, "I mean, what do you do all day? Potter around? And if you want a drink, do you just say, I'll have a Pot-a-tea?"

Sirius and James groaned in unison as Fleamont shook his head, a grin on his face, and Euphemia chuckled.

Putting on a rather grave voice and pursing her lips, Bess continued, "On a more troubling note, did you guys know that the dog star is moving closer to earth? Yeah... If it doesn't stop I think we'll be in Sirius trouble..."

Groans filled the room again and Sirius said, "I'm sorry everyone, I honestly fell for her before I knew she was a dork."

James stopped laughing long enough to say, "That's okay Pads, I think she lured us all in with her Hufflepuff-ness, we thought she was harmless."

"Was that a Euphemia-ism?" Bess asked, tilting her head to one side and sipping her chocolate as the pun sank in.

James got it first, and pointed at the door as he said, "No. Get out!"

Bess nodded solemnly and stood, placing her drink on the table, before sighing deeply and beginning to walk towards the door.

"Bess, love, he was just-" Sirius began, as he sat up quickly and reached out a hand to grab her forearm.

Bess shook her head and said, "It's okay. Really. I said some truly terrible puns. Hope you all sleakeazy tonight, and I'll see you in the morning," she said, before smiling knowingly at Sirius, who stood up and kissed her as everyone else laughed.

She tried to push him away but he held fast, before pulling back to rub her nose with his, saying, "They don't care," and kissed her again. When he finally pulled back again, she rolled her eyes and smiled at him as they sat back down and he handed her her drink before wrapping his arm back around her shoulder, pulling her in to his side.

"Right, fourth year!" Fleamont said, grinning and clapping his hands together.

It was three in the morning by the time everyone traipsed up to bed and Euphemia announced that she didn't expect anyone to be up before noon, and that Sunday lunch would be at three.

Bess crawled into her bed, relishing in the soft comfort as she fell asleep.

xXx

Bess awoke fifty minutes later, drenched in sweat and panting. She reached a hand to her chest as she tried to catch her breath.

Grabbing her wand, she cast a non-verbal Lumos before looking around the room, trying to count all of the things she could see to try and clear her mind.

When that didn't work, she tried pacing.

When that didn't work, she tried her breathing exercises.

When that didn't work, she slowly opened her door and tiptoed down the halls until she came to the stairs. She ran down them and headed to the kitchen, which Euphemia had pointed out earlier in the evening.

She grabbed a glass and filled it with water, chugging the cool liquid as she gripped the countertop.

She screwed her face up and choked back a sob before letting out a frustrated noise and heading for the back door.

She thought she'd have to use a spell to unlock it, and was just trying to remember what that would be, but as she turned the handle, it opened and she muttered a silent thanks to the gods before stepping outside into the freezing cold December night.

She swore as her feet touched the cold paving stones outside, and quickly summoned her trainers, slipping them on before she closed the door behind her and began to walk.

As she passed the last of the plants, she came to a little stone archway. Ducking through it, she stepped in to a field, surrounded by trees.

The moonlight shone brightly, bathing the field in a white glow as it reflected off the snow. Bess couldn't help the smile which took over her face as she took a deep breath and finally felt her heart rate slow.

She stared at the field for a few minutes, as she replaced the images of a dead James and Lily, and Sirius falling through the veil, with the picturesque scene in front of her.

She was so intent on trying to focus on the trees, the wind, the snow and the beads of grass poking through it, the moonlight, and the stars, that she didn't notice she wasn't alone for over a minute.

She was only alerted to the fact when she heard a twig snap, and turned her head quickly, raising her wand.

Her eyes widened as she took in the scene.

A large dog, as black as the night's sky, and giant, as big as a young bear, stood next to a large stag which stood proudly, its antlers reaching up towards the sky.

She stood still for a moment before she burst out laughing and braced her hands on her knees to stop herself from sinking in to the snow.

Her laughter echoed around the clearing and she gasped for breath as she tried to stop herself. She knew exactly who they were, but of course, they couldn't know that.

"I'm sorry. I'm so s-sorry," she gasped, putting a hand on her stomach as she straightened up. "It's just... sorry..." she trailed off, before realising that as long as she didn't tell them she knew who they were, she could say more. "It's just... I mean... this is kind of ridiculous.

"I mean, I'm talking to a stag and a giant dog, but I don't think I'm crazy..." she said, putting a hand over her mouth to stop herself from giggling more as she muttered a spell and summoned her Polaroid camera.

A few moments later it flew in to her hands and she snapped a photo without bringing it up to her face. She shook her head as she took the photo out of the camera and looked down at the developing image, before saying loud enough for them to hear, "I just need proof, you know? Honestly, James will love this..."

She felt the rumble before she heard it, and looked up from the picture to see the giant dog advancing on her, teeth bared and growling.

She knew in her heart and mind that it was Sirius, but she was still frightened. Her eyes widened and she felt the blood drain from her face as she gulped audibly and took a step backwards.

Still, the dog advanced. She chanced a glance behind him to the stag, who was standing still, watching the scene play out.

The growl grew louder and she looked back at the dog, her eyes fixed on its gigantic teeth. She gulped again and her hands shook, she didn't know if from the cold or her fear.

She felt ridiculous - she knew it was Sirius, and yet she was still terrified? A voice at the back of her mind asked, what if it's not him?

Her eyes flickered to his, and she recognised them immediately. She instantly felt better, and, although still a bit scared, she thought "what would Sirius do?".

She dropped her camera on the ground and tucked the photo in to her sleep bra before narrowing her eyes as she tucked her wand in to the waistband of her pyjamas.

She held out her hand, palm towards the dog, and said in a firm voice, "Stop."

She heard what sounded like a laugh from the stag, and heard the dog's snarl drop for a moment before it barked out a laugh and continued to advance.

"Bad dog," she admonished, glaring at it as it didn't stop. Again, she heard a snort like sound from the stag.

"I mean it. Stop," she said firmly, raising her hand again. "I will punch you..." she warned, but the dog, which had almost reached her, continued its advance.

"Don't make me do this..." she whimpered, but the dog didn't stop, so she curled her hand into a fist and pulled back, before putting all of her weight behind her and punching the dog, Sirius, straight on the nose.

She saw the dog's eyes widen before the snarl turned into a whimper and it launched itself backwards. She just about registered that the stag's mouth had dropped open comically, as she turned, shouted, "I'm so sorry," over her shoulder, and ran as fast as she could through the garden, into the kitchen where she removed her shoes, up the stairs, down the halls, and into her room.

She closed the door as quietly as she could before casting locking charms and diving underneath her covers, lifting them over her head.

This time she fell into a dreamless sleep and when she woke up just five hours later, it was only after fishing the photo out of her bra that she realised it wasn't a dream - she'd actually punched her boyfriend in the face.

xXx

After showering, putting on her usual sweep of eyeliner and some mascara, and getting dressed into a jumper dress, leggings and thick socks, Bess headed down to the kitchen.

Euphemia wasn't expecting any of them to be awake yet, as it was only ten, but had mentioned that there were breakfast things available on a help yourself basis.

As Bess reached the kitchen door, she heard voices, and wondered why Sirius and James would be awake so early. Stepping into the kitchen, she waved and shot them both a large smile before heading over to the cupboard and reaching for a mug, trying to act as normal as possible.

"Morning..." James said, before taking a swig of his drink.

Bess knew she needed to play it incredibly cool, so she just smiled again and nodded, before yawning and rubbing her cheek. "Morning."

"How was your night?" He asked, casting a quick look at Sirius, who glared at him.

Bess suddenly felt worried that he'd not see the funny side of what happened.

"Uh yeah, it was okay..." she said, before reaching into her pocket and pulling out the photo and handing it to him. "If you count spotting your favourite animal okay..."

James chuckled as he took the photo, before grinning down at it and handing it over to Sirius, who finally stopped glaring and grinned.

"How was your night?" She asked, filling her mug with some tea from the pot in front of James.

"Yeah, good. Sirius got punched in the face though..."

"What?" Bess asked in mock-surprise and anguish. "James! Why would you punch him?"

His eyes widened and he looked around before saying, "What? It wasn't me!"

"Well it wasn't me!" She said, with a tone of mock-anger as she put down the mug and put her hands on her hips.

She had to pretend not to know what she'd done, so she frowned at James whose mouth was opening and closing rapidly as he tried to think of what to say. As he did, she moved closer to Sirius, and looked at his nose and eyes.

She could tell that he too, had suddenly realised that he wouldn't be able to blame Bess for his hurt without confiding in her that he was the dog.

"Uh- sorry Pads..." James said finally.

"It's uh- fine, Prongs. Just my pride that's hurt," he said as he let Bess lightly touch his face.

She smiled down at him and leant in to kiss his nose and eyes before kissing him quickly on the lips and stepping back. "My prognosis is that you'll live. But stop attacking people."

"Why d'you think I started it?" Sirius asked incredulously.

"Uh, because James wouldn't punch his brother unless he was provoked..." Bess said, trying to add in the reason why she'd punched him without admitting anything.

"That's true," James said, rubbing his chin and thinking.

"For Merlin's sake," Sirius said, before rolling his eyes and taking a swig of his coffee.

"I'm sorry," Bess said quietly, trying to apologise for what she'd done.

"For what, love?" Sirius asked, shooting her a look.

"I dunno... I guess..." she sighed and sat down on the stool next to him. "I kind of... I may have punched something last night, and now I feel terrible for it, seeing your reaction."

Bess decided to be as honest as she could without giving the game away.

"What d'you mean?" He asked, his interest visibly piqued.

"Well, after I took that picture," she said, pointing to the Polaroid, "the dog started walking towards me and was snarling and stuff and I got scared, so I... I punched it and ran."

"You were scared?" He asked, frowning deeply.

"Yeah. I don't know if you remember when I was in the hospital wing, and we had that chat about the dog? And if it was-"

"Headed towards you, yeah?" He said, nodding.

"Well, I thought at first it was just playing with me, but then, I don't know, something about the teeth and the snarl, and the noise, it just scared me. But I didn't want to hurt it by casting a spell or anything, so I did what people say to do with some animals, and I punched it on the nose and ran away."

Sirius stood suddenly and wrapped his arms around Bess, holding her tightly as he kissed her on the forehead and said, "Oh love, I'm sure it was just playing around. I don't think it would be happy to know you were scared."

Bess laughed for a second and said, "What? Are you two friends?"

She felt Sirius chuckle, and he said, "Yeah, something like that."

"It just kept coming..." she added quietly.

"Knowing the dogs round here," Sirius replied softly, as he rubbed circles into her back, "it was probably just joking around and was going to lick you."

"You think?" She asked quietly, feeling even worse now that she knew he was just trying to lick her.

"I know. Trust me. If you meet that dog again, and, actually, only that dog since I really can't speak for others, just... don't run away. I'm sure it'll get upset if you do. And definitely don't punch it," he added quickly, and Bess heard James chuckle. "I'm sure it'll be more obvious that it's playing around next time."

"You think I'll see it again?" She asked hopefully.

"I hope so. I really hope so," he replied, before kissing her deeply. "I'm sure it would love to meet you again."

She rubbed her nose against his and grimaced as he winced slightly. She asked, "You okay?"

He nodded and wiggled his nose around for a moment before grinning down at her. "Never better, love. Now, James, dad and I are having a quick game of Quidditch after lunch. You in?"

Bess shook her head quickly and leant back, saying, "I'm good thanks!"

James, who had been looking away, finding a cupboard incredibly interesting, turned back to Bess with a gasp and said, "What? Why?"

"I'm a little scared to tell you..." she replied, before he glared enough at her and she sighed and said, "fine. Because I've never been on a broom before and I don't think I'd like them, since I'm kind of scared of heights."

"HOW? WHAT?"

Bess watched as James' mind began to explode, and tried not to smile. Sirius wasn't as kind, he was clutching his stomach as he laughed.

"How? How on earth could you not like Quidditch?!" James cried, staring at her like she had two heads.

Bess rolled her eyes and said, "Always with the dramatics! Christ!"

"What about motorcycles, love? Would you go on one of those?" Sirius asked as he straightened up, still grinning.

Bess smiled, knowing why he was asking. "Well, yeah..."

James scoffed. "A motorcycle but not a broom? What's wrong with you?"

Bess jumped up and mimed riding on a broomstick, saying, "This, is unsafe," before switching to miming riding on a motorcycle, widening her stance and squatting more, pretending to grip handlebars. "Whereas this, this is completely different. For one, it stays on the ground. Big plus point."

"What if it could fly at the speed of a broom?"

For a second, Bess forgot who she was talking to, and said, "What lunatic would mess with a bike like that? They were built for the floor."

James, who'd taken a large swig of coffee, snorted and spluttered while Sirius chuckled and shook his head.

"Do I want to know?" Fleamont asked as he walked into the kitchen, taking in the sight of Bess, who was still squatting, pretending to sit on a bike, while the boys laughed.

"Bess won't be joining us today, Dad, she's very much a..."

"Floor person?" Bess offered, pretending to dismount the bike before bounding back over to her stool.

"That's fine, Euph wondered if you might be free for a girls' chat. Might be a good time," Fleamont said, sending Sirius a wink and laughing as the younger man coughed.

xXx

Two hours later, Bess found herself stood beside Euphemia, peeling vegetables as the older witch prepped the meat.

Euphemia had explained that while she normally cooked using magic, she thought she'd give a mostly Muggle approach a try in honour of Bess, who had been laughed at by James and Sirius when she'd asked where the toaster was.

Bess noticed Euphemia send her a small smile, before she said, "Well, now that the boys are outside... Tell me more about Harry."

Bess tried not to react. "Harry?"

Euphemia smiled as she continued to prep the chicken. "Just because my son thought you were joking when you told him he'd marry Lily and have a son, doesn't mean I do. They may be rare nowadays, but I recognise a seer when I... see one..."

"I- but I'm-" Bess tried, shaking her head.

"Bess..."

"Honestly, I'm not- I can't see-" Bess tried, before shaking her head again.

Euphemia frowned. "There's more to it then? James said you get headaches..."

Bess nodded solemnly. "Dumbledore thinks it's the pain of the torture..."

"Yes. Sirius mentioned that," Euphemia explained. When Bess frowned, she said, "as much as the boys pretend they don't, they tell me everything. Remus isn't always around, you know? But now... you think?"

"I can't. It's utterly ridiculous and you'd chuck me-"

Euphemia nudged Bess with her elbow and turned to look at her, as she said, "Bess, my sons turn into creatures and their idea of fun is running around the field behind our house in the middle of the night. Try me."

"You know about that?" Bess asked with wide eyes.

Euphemia shook her head and smiled. "Enough specific ingredients go missing from your garden and you begin to suspect... You know as well?"

Bess stared at the older witch for a moment, her mouth opening and closing quickly, before she said quickly, "I think I'm from another world."

Instead of freaking out, Euphemia simply finished her prep and used her wand to clean herself and the counter top up.

Turning to Bess, she put her hand on her forearm and asked, "Really? How're we living up to your expectations?"

Bess shook her head and gasped. "You're not surprised? Dumbledore thought I was crazy."

Euphemia smiled and pulled Bess in to a tight hug. "Just because he has a wider than average view of the magical world doesn't make him an authority on it. There are many tribes and cultures across the world who practice elemental magic, and there are stories of worlds, glimpses of the past and the future, people disappearing only to come back having lived whole lives."

"But- but I looked... for months, I searched!" Bess cried, as she pulled back.

Euphemia nodded, and held on to Bess' elbows. "History books?"

"Uh- yeah... Time travel as well..."

"Did you look at any fairy tales?"

"I- No... 'course not."

Euphemia dropped her hands and walked over to the cupboard, pulling out two mugs. She filled them both with her wand, and turned to hand a steaming mug of chocolate to Bess. "Have you heard of the Tale of the Three Brothers?"

"Yeah," Bess replied, before taking a sip of her drink.

"Do you know the story hidden within it?"

Bess frowned. "Of the Deathly Hallows? Yeah," she said, and began to count using her fingers as she said, "there's the stone, the wand and the invisibility cloak."

"Do you know where they are?" Euphemia asked as she walked to the other side of the counter and summoned their coats with another flick of her wand.

Bess' eyes widened again. "What? I-"

"Could you tell me where all three of them are right now?"

For some reason, she felt compelled to tell Euphemia everything. She'd never had someone believe her so wholly, or so quickly, before. "I- I don't know about the invisibility cloak."

"In your story books, did Harry have it?"

Bess nodded, confused as to how Euphemia knew that.

"Well it's currently packed in James' trunk upstairs," she said with a sly smile, bringing her mug up to her lips.

Bess gasped and threw her hand up in the air. "Oh my god. Of course it is."

"So if The Tales of Beedle the Bard are true, and the stories you read about will come true, what makes yours any less so?"

Bess looked at the witch in front of her with unbelieving eyes. "You're not joking, are you?"

"Are you?"

Bess shook her head. "But it's unbelievable."

"So's a stone which shows you the dead. Or a wand that's unbeatable. Bess, are there any tales in your world that talk about world travel?"

"Well, yes, there're the Tales of Chrestomanci..."

Euphemia nodded and said, "Tell me about them?"

"Well, there's this one, Charmed Life, where there's a girl called Janet, from my world, and she wakes up one day in the place of... oh my god. She wakes up in the place of a witch called Gwendolen in a different world."

Euphemia smiled thoughtfully. "We have a tale about a girl named Janet as well, but it's more of a cautionary tale against Muggles stealing our magic than anything else..."

"I honestly didn't think anyone would ever believe me," Bess whispered, her mind racing.

They were quiet for a few moments as Bess stared at the peeler in her hand.

Finally, Euphemia spoke again, a teasing smile on her face as she asked, "Sirius is seventeen, and you're twenty-one?"

Bess' eyes widened and she looked up. "Uh- Physically I'm a seventeen year old..."

Euphemia chuckled. "How about I just do all of this using magic and we go for a walk? We won't tell the boys?"

"That would be wonderful," Bess replied, taking a deep breath.

Just as Euphemia held Bess' jacket out to her, they heard a shout, and both women turned their heads quickly to the back door which was slammed open and James barrelled inside. "Mum, Dad's not good!"

"For Merlin's sake! What happened?" Euphemia asked as Sirius walked in slowly, Fleamont's arm thrown across his shoulders, his arm around Fleamont's waist. James returned to his spot underneath Fleamont's other arm, and Fleamont hopped forwards with their help. "What. Happened?"

Bess didn't know what to do, so she just stood stock still and watched as Euphemia fussed over Fleamont, who'd evidently not listened, and broken his leg. The boys lowered him into a chair, and Euphemia ran her wand over his leg.

"Oh Merlin. We're going to have to go to St. Mungo's."

"Can't you just fix it?" James asked, his face pale.

Euphemia shook her head and turned to him with a stern expression on her face, "No. Why, can you?"

"Well no, I- I dunno, I mean I could, but you have to have a clear head, don't you? What if I vanish the bones or something?"

"Sirius?" Euphemia asked, turning to Sirius, who looked slightly sick, but much better than James.

"Sorry ma, can't do it either. Bit shocked if I'm honest, think it was my fault," he said, bowing his head and looking down at Fleamont's leg.

Fleamont groaned as he moved slightly and said, "Merlin, stop it boys, it was mine, and you know it."

Bess grinned and stepped forwards.

Fleamont's eyes widened as he looked up at her. "I don't like the look on her face. Why's she smiling? Sirius?"

Bess rolled her eyes and knelt by his leg, before taking out her wand and concentrating. It was harder to mend a broken leg, she was sure, and would take a lot more concentration by the sounds of things. She tried not to think about what would happen if she did it wrong - she knew Harry'd been in immense pain when the bones in his arm had grown back overnight in the Hospital Wing.

She closed her eyes for a second as she muttered a diagnostic spell and saw swirling patterns behind her eyelids. He'd broken his leg in three places and had multiple fractures.

"How'd you walk on this?" She asked quietly, before looking up at James and asking, "could you get like three fingers of Firewhiskey?"

He nodded and ran to get the drink as she began to twirl her wand over Fleamont's leg, whispering, "Brackium Emendo," over and over again, mending all of the breaks and fractured bones.

Halfway through, having missing the worst of his dad's hissing and groans of pain, James returned with the glass, and Fleamont downed half of the drink before thanking him.

After a while, Bess sat back on her heels she said, "Try that," and smiled as Fleamont moved his foot around in circles.

He grinned slightly tipsily and cried, "Bloody marvellous! Good as new!"

Bess grinned and nodded to his drink, "Better than Skele-Gro eh?"

"Any day! But how did you know how to do that?" Fleamont asked, before pouting as Euphemia took away the last half of his drink.

"Perks of over three months in St. Mungo's. I got bored, and the Healers taught me a thing or two," Bess said, shrugging, before standing and summoning her hot chocolate, taking another sip.

"Want to be a Healer when you're older then?" Fleamont asked, clapping her on the shoulder as he stood.

"Nah, my ultimate goal is defeating Voldemort, just got to not die trying!" She said truthfully, before forcing a laugh at the end as the boys all laughed. She caught Euphemia's eye, who nodded at her knowingly.

"Rain check on the walk, Bess?" Euphemia asked, as she put an arm around her husband's shoulders and began to lead him towards the living room.

Bess nodded sadly, before smiling as James barrelled in to her, wrapping his arms around her and saying, "Thank you!"

Chapter Text

In the end, everyone but Bess lost their appetites, so they postponed Sunday lunch, and Bess snacked throughout the day, until six o'clock, when the boys broke their fast with gigantic sandwiches, and made sure to make one for Bess.

When the three teens were truly stuffed, Euphemia insisted on an early bedtime, which meant stories and hot chocolate began at seven thirty.

"Sirius? Do you remember a story called, Gullible Gertrude and the Magic Stealer?" Euphemia asked as she spooned marshmallows into her mug.

Bess felt Sirius nod beside her as he absentmindedly rubbed circles at the back of her neck with his thumb.

"James, do you know it?" Euphemia asked, looking over at her son, who shook his head, "didn't think so. It's very anti-Muggle so we never read it to you. Don't worry, the bit I want to tell you all isn't too long and isn't bad," she said as she walked over to the bookshelf and began to search.

Bess snuggled into Sirius' side and put her feet up on the sofa next to her. She tried to relax, but she was nervous to hear the story.

"Love?"

Bess turned to Sirius, her bottom lip between her teeth, her eyebrows pulled together. She was anxious, not because of the story, but because she had the impression that it was significant in some way.

She still hadn't had a chance to chat with Euphemia, and didn't know if she would until after Christmas Day now.

Sirius smiled and moved his thumb from her neck to gently massage her the skin between her eyebrows. "Don't worry, she really won't say the bad bits. Euphemia just loves tales, and this one may end up being anti-Muggle, but it's a really cool story at the start."

Bess nodded anxiously, and licked her lips before biting her bottom lip again. Sirius sighed and dropped his hand as he slipped his arm around her shoulders, bringing her in even closer. He placed a kiss on her cheek and nuzzled her face until she turned to him, when he placed a slow, loving kiss to her lips. As he pulled back, he rubbed his nose against hers.

Euphemia returned and sat down next to Fleamont, and Bess turned away from Sirius, who shifted in his seat, putting his feet up on the table. Bess sent him a small, anxious smile, before putting her hand on his thigh.

Euphemia opened the book and, finding the right page, began to read, instantly grabbing everyone's attention.

"A long time ago, there was a witch named Gertrude.

"She lived in a small room, in a small house, in a small village, in a small world.

"'I hate it here,' said Gertrude, as she waved her wand and cleaned her house.

"'I hate it here,' said Gertrude as she waved her wand and tended to her plants.

"'I hate it here,' said Gertrude as she waved her wand and made her dinner.

"'I hate it here,' said Gertrude as she waved her wand and dressed for bed.

"Every day, Gertrude grew more and more tired of her magical life, until one day, she heard a whisper.

"'I love it here,' said the voice, whispering across the void.

"'You should come to visit. You'd love it here as well.'

"Gertrude, possessed by the voice, ran to her garden and collected her herbs.

"She ran to the apothecary and bought ingredients.

"She ran to the forest and collected the moon plant.

"Three months she spent listening to the voice across the void.

"Three months she spent brewing her potions.

"Three months she spent hoping and wishing.

"Until finally, she drank her potion and whispered:

"Volo vivere ibi.

"Volo vivere ibi.

"Volo vivere ibi.

"Thrice she chanted, clapping her hands.

"Suddenly, a light burst through her small room, through her small house, through her small village, through her small world.

"Gertrude awoke in a different universe.

"It goes on to say that Muggles are terrible and that she missed her magic and managed to return to her world, but you get the idea."

Bess clenched her jaw and frowned at the table in front of her. "Could... could we hear the rest?"

"Love, I don't think it's worth it..." Sirius said, trailing off and coughing slightly to cover a groan as Bess began to squeeze and rub his thigh absentmindedly.

"I'd really like to, if that's okay?" she asked Euphemia, who smiled knowingly and nodded.

"She looked around at the small dirty room, in the small dirty house, in the small dirty village, in the small dirty world, and frowned.

"Reaching in to her pocket, she pulled out her wand to clean the room, saying, 'I hate it here' as she waved her wand.

"However, nothing happened.

"'What's going on?' she asked, as she tried to wave her wand again.

"Nothing happened.

"'My magic! Someone's stolen my magic!' she cried as she waved and waved.

"Soon enough, she realised that the voice across the void had tricked her.

"It had lured her from her magical world and had stolen her magic, making her live as a Muggle!

"'Send me back!' she cried, as she turned on the spot.

"'Send me back!' she cried as she tried to floo home.

"'Send me back!' she cried as she fell to her knees in anguish.

"Days turned to months, months to years, and Gertrude found no escape from her magic-less life.

"'I hate it here,' she said as she scrubbed her dirty house from top to bottom, rubbing her hands raw.

"'I hate it here,' she said as she tended to the garden and cut her hands on the horrible, useless plants.

"'I hate it here,' she said as she prepared her dinner, burning her hands on the revolting Muggle stove.

"'I hate it here,' she said as she got dressed for bed and crawled in to the disgusting bed.

"'Everything here is bad.'

"Until one day, she heard a whisper from the void once more.

"'I love it here,' said the voice, 'magic makes me powerful, it makes me strong, it makes me better than you, Gertrude. You, so weak that you allowed a Muggle to take your magic.'"

Bess raised an eyebrow and looked at Sirius, who tried not to laugh as he leant in to whisper, "It's a children's story. Got to be quite obvious on the 'Muggles are awful' front."

"Did you ever believe this?" She asked, anxiously.

Sirius frowned and shook his head, reaching up to stroke her face. "No, love. I grew up in the middle of London with no escape. Across the road from my house, there was this gated garden. The Muggle children used to play in it every day. They looked so happy. I was jealous. When my mother would tell me this story, I'd just think about what I wouldn't give to lose my magic and join those kids." Before Bess could say anything, he leant back and clenched his jaw slightly, deep in thought.

She rubbed his thigh again and snuggled in closer as she tried to catch up with the story.

"'I want to go home,' she said as she gathered her ingredients.

"'I want to go home,' she said as she brewed her potion.

"'I want to go home,' she said as she poured the Muggle's blood into her pot."

"Jesus fuck. I missed so much..." Bess whispered, and heard Sirius chuckle bitterly. She turned to look at him quickly. He was still glaring at the table.

" Volo ire in domum suam.

"Volo ire in domum suam.

"Volo ire in domum suam.

" Thrice she chanted, clapping her hands.

"Suddenly, a light burst through the dirty room, through the dirty house, through the dirty village, through the dirty world.

"Gertrude awoke back in her own room, in her own house, in her own village, in her own world.

"'I love it here,' said Gertrude, as she waved her wand and cleaned her house.

"'I love it here,' said Gertrude as she waved her wand and tended to her plants.

"'I love it here,' said Gertrude as she waved her wand and made her dinner.

"'I love it here,' said Gertrude as she waved her wand and dressed for bed.

"For Gertrude knew now that the longest day as a Witch was worth more than a lifetime as a Muggle."

"Harsh," Bess joked, sipping her hot chocolate and reaching forwards to grab some more marshmallows, trying to cover the taste of the bile which was burning a path up her throat. "So, she managed to come back?"

"Yes."

"Do you know how long it took her?" Bess asked quietly, wondering how long she'd have left in this world if Daphne decided she wanted to return.

Euphemia shook her head and frowned at the book in her hand. "No, but she did, eventually. I have a few others, if you'd like to hear them?"

"I'd say that's enough anti-Muggle rhetoric for tonight, don't you, Euph?" Fleamont supplied with a wink.

Bess smiled slightly and nodded, settling back against the sofa cushions as Euphemia rolled her eyes and shoved her husband, saying, "You know I don't believe all of that stuff!"

"Bess, you okay? Sorry, it's not the nicest tale," James said, leaning forwards to get a better look at her face.

She shook her head and smiled at his concern. "Well I missed a bit, but honestly, it wasn't that bad."

"Muggle sacrifice isn't bad?!"

Bess grimaced. "I really did miss a whole section there..."

"Too busy staring into Sirius' beautiful grey eyes, eh?" Fleamont asked with a teasing grin.

"Dad! Please don't say that!" James cried, throwing a cushion at his dad, who was waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

xXx

Bess woke up suddenly.

As she gasped for air, she grabbed her wand and cast lumos, before putting her hand to her chest as she thanked the higher powers that be - from the looks of her surroundings, and the fact that she could still use magic, she was still in Sirius' world.

Ever since she'd heard the story of Gertrude three nights previously, she'd found herself terrified that she'd be sent back to her own world at any time.

She rubbed her face and groaned before swinging her legs round, putting on her slippers, and walking over to the large expanse of windows next to her bed.

She sat down on the window seat and tucked her legs up to her chest as she looked up at the stars, trying not to think about how little time she might have left with Sirius.

Part of her wanted to walk along the hallway, slip into his room, and crawl under his covers to share the night with him, but the more rational part of her reminded herself that she was in someone else's house.

And he was probably asleep.

So instead, she located Orion's belt in the stars and sighed, smiling slightly as she leant back against the wall. She sat like that for a while, just staring up at the stars, lost in her thoughts, until she heard a knock at her door.

Frowning, she called, "Come in," and waited for whoever it was to walk inside. A quick glance at the clock said it was already past midnight.

Sirius popped his head around the door and, when he didn't see her in her bed, looked around until he spotted her.

"Come here," she said, grinning at him and motioning him over. She was relieved and incredibly happy that he was there.

He grinned back at her and walked in, closing the door behind him and bounding over to where she sat.

"What're you doing, love? You should be asleep," he said as he reached her, dropping to his knees, and grabbing her hand in his.

"Bad dream. How'd you know I was up?" She asked, swapping the hand in his grasp so she could reach down and push some hair out of his eyes.

"Needed the toilet and saw your light was on. Thought I'd check. Anything I can do?"

Bess smiled and shook her head as she began to scratch his scalp. "Just got to ride this one out I think."

Sirius' eyes fluttered shut at her scratches, and he sighed, before asking, "What're you doing?"

"Stargazing..."

"I know that! What're you looking at?"

"Well I didn't do astronomy, so the only thing I really know is Orion's belt. I feel calm when I find it," she said with a shrug as dropped her hands and moved back to look through the expanse of windows again and pointing up, even though she knew he knew every star in the sky.

"Scoot down?" He asked, standing and motioning for her to move forwards. She smiled and nodded, shifting on the long window seat.

He sat behind her and pulled her back to his chest, his legs either side of her. As he circled his arms around her, she realised how hot she felt, her blood still boiling from her panic. She leant forwards and pulled off her long sleeved top, leaving her in just a camisole vest top and shorts, before leaning back into his embrace.

She looked over her shoulder, her lips brushing his clenched jaw as she tried to look up at him, and saw that he looked incredibly angry. "Sirius?"

"I'm sorry. I've seen them before, I know I have, but... Bess. Love," he said, as he moved his arms and ran his hands from her shoulders to her forearms, turning her left arm so he could read the scar. He took a deep breath, his expression softening, and said, "Love, I'm so sorry."

"Sirius, you didn't do this."

"But my cousin did," he said, shaking his head.

Bess frowned and looked down at his hands, which were gripping her wrists. She didn't want to talk about Bellatrix. Not now. She just wanted to be with Sirius. "Can we just not talk about her? Not tonight?"

Sirius nodded and leant down, nuzzling Bess' neck until she moved her head to the side to give him better access. He moved her hair aside and pressed a long kiss to the juncture of her neck and shoulder, as he began to run his hands up and down her arms.

"Will you show me where Sirius is?" She asked quietly.

He chuckled. "I'm right here, love."

"Oh shut up, you know what I mean."

He trailed kisses up her neck until he reached her earlobe, which he flicked with his tongue, before kissing behind her ear.

When Bess moaned, she felt his chuckle vibrating through her back, his breath moved the curls at the side of her face. He wrapped an arm around her again as he moved a hand down to play with the hem of her camisole top, and dropped another kiss to her neck.

"Okay, Orion's belt?" Sirius said finally, abandoning his kisses and pointing up at the stars.

Bess reclined in his embrace, resting her head on his shoulder so her face was next to his, and looked at the sky. "Yeah, I see it."

"Okay, look just below it... there's a bright star diagonally down and to the left."

Bess frowned and leant forwards slightly, narrowing her eyes and staring for a little bit before she found it. "Yeah. I think I've got it."

"That's Sirius."

"Really?"

"Yeah. Brightest star in the night's sky."

"It's beautiful."

"Thanks."

"Oh shut up, I'm being serious."

"No... I'm Sirius."

"I hate you," Bess said with a laugh.

"Love you too," he chuckled as he moved the strap of her top, sliding it down her arm, and leant down to press kisses against her shoulder as she stared up at the Dog Star.

They sat like that for a while, Sirius alternating between kissing her neck and playing with the hems of her top and shorts, and explaining constellations and stars.

Finally, Bess looked over and saw that it was almost two in the morning.

"We should get some sleep..." she said quietly, wishing he wouldn't leave, but knowing he would - James, Bess and Sirius were going shopping in Muggle London in the morning for last minute gifts, and he knew she felt uncomfortable with the idea of kissing too much in front of the Potters, let alone being caught in the same bed. She was really only worried that they'd be disapproving of their behaviour.

Sirius nodded, shifted behind her and stood. He kissed her again and said, "Okay, well if you need anything, let me know. I'll see you in the morning, love." He turned somewhat reluctantly and began to walk towards the door.

"Stay?" Bess asked quietly, unsure if he'd even hear her.

He did - he turned around, slipping his hands into his pockets, and tilted his head. "Love?"

"Will you stay with me? I- I know I said it's weird since we're at James' parents', but you could sneak out early doors?"

He grinned and nodded and said, "Thank Merlin." He walked over to her bed, tugging off his t-shirt. "Is this okay? I run hot," he said, indicating his bare torso. Bess, who was too busy admiring his built frame, didn't answer. He chuckled as he saw her staring, and slipped underneath the covers. "You coming, love?" He asked, as he reclined against the headboard.

Bess smiled, before walking over and settling down beside him, resting her head on his chest and laying her arm across his stomach.

Bess felt him trace her back and arm lightly with his fingertips, and closed her eyes, listening to his strong heartbeat.

"Bess?" He asked quietly. Bess, who was just falling asleep, moaned in reply, and he continued, "I've never slept with anyone before."

Bess scoffed and opened her eyes slightly, suddenly more awake. "What would you call the last night of term?"

She smiled as she felt the vibrations of his laughter through his chest.

He took a deep breath in and paused before saying, "No, I mean, I've never slept over. I've never woken up next to someone before. Unless you count James, Remus or Peter..." he added with a wry laugh.

Bess smiled and turned in his arms, resting her forearm across his chest and putting her chin on the back of her hand, looking up at him.

"Is this okay with you?" She asked quietly.

Sirius nodded and leant down to kiss her deeply. "Is this okay with you?"

"Sirius, I asked you! Of course it's fine with me!"

"I know, I just... I'm not used to all this... affection. I can't stay away from you. I love it, but it's just... new. I'm worried I'll scare you away if I don't hold back."

"You won't. And you'd better get used to it," she whispered in reply, "because I'm not going anywhere if I can help it."

She meant that with all her heart. If Daphne did try to come back, she'd fight tooth and nail to get back to him.

"Promise?"

"I promise. I will try to stay with you, for as long as you'll have me. I will fight to come back to you."

Sirius smiled at her, and Bess gulped slightly before leaning in to kiss him again.

"Sirius?" She asked as she drew back, staring down at him and panting slightly.

"Love?"

"W-would..." Bess trailed off, not knowing how to broach the subject again, especially now that they were in someone else's home.

"Love, tell me?" He asked, his voice deep and husky.

Bess gulped slightly as she looked down and realised he was staring at her lips. She leant down and kissed him passionately, almost squealing as he tightened his hold on her and rolled over in one smooth movement so that she was underneath him, without breaking the kiss.

He pulled away for a moment and stared down at her as his hand played with the hem of her top again.

Bess stared up at him before saying, "I love you, and I want you."

He stared at her for a moment and blinked a few times before he captured her lips with his.

xXx

The next day, Christmas Eve, Bess awoke to gentle shaking, and Sirius whispering that he had to go. She nodded and accepted his light kisses, before rolling over again and going back to sleep.

She awoke the next time to James storming in to her room and shouting, "GET UP!" in stark contrast to his friend's kind rousing.

This time, Bess groaned and rolled out of bed, showered, changed, and stumbled downstairs, still half asleep.

"You got a letter," James said impatiently as he thrust a small envelope towards her.

In answer to Bess' raised eyebrow, Sirius said, "He needs to get Lily a present today. Hermes is fast," he said, nodding at the owl sat by the kitchen window, tucking in to a large pile of treats, "but if he doesn't send him off by five, it won't get to her in time."

"Aha."

Bess sat down at the large oak table and thanked Sirius as he poured her some juice and piled a cooked breakfast onto her plate while she opened her letter.

"Oh god."

"What's wrong dear?" Euphemia asked, taking a sip of her tea.

"My friend's having an awful time at home. Lots of arguments. She's getting really upset. I might need to abandon ship on Boxing Day to head to hers," Bess replied, re-reading the letter.

"What? No!" Sirius said loudly, dropping his cutlery and turning to stare at her.

"Do her family have wards?" Euphemia asked quickly.

Bess looked between the two, and said, "No... They're muggles."

"Then ask her to come here. I'm not comfortable with you staying anywhere without protection right now, especially after..." Euphemia said firmly.

Bess looked up at Euphemia, who was frowning deeply, a look of immense worry on her face. Bess realised this was only the second time she'd seen that look, the first being when Fleamont had broken his leg.

She gulped, understanding that 'after' meant 'what happened last year.'

She was about to try to argue, but she stopped when she saw the look on Sirius' face, and then looked to James, who shrugged and said, "Just invite her. It's not worth it," through a mouthful of eggs.

Bess wrinkled her nose and brushed a little bit of egg off her sleeve, before asking, "Are you sure? I mean, I wouldn't ask normally, but I really think she needs me."

Euphemia looked to Fleamont, who nodded and dropped his paper, saying, "Of course. The boys can help me prepare the guest room after we get back from London."

"Thank you. Really," Bess said sincerely. She noticed they hadn't even asked who it was, but had offered their home up anyway.

"Who-" James began, before the clock chimed and he jumped up, waved his wand to vanish all of the food on the table, and summoned his coat.

"James Potter. You are underage!" Euphemia cried as Bess and Sirius rolled their eyes.

"Yeah, yeah. Arrest me later. Let's go!" He said as he ran to the door.

In London, Bess sent a reply to her letter via owl, James having declined to let get use Hermes who had an important delivery to make when they got back.

After that, Bess and the boys broke away from James' parents for a few hours to head in to Muggle London. Bess knew that the only reason they were allowed this freedom was Sirius being overage. Bess introduced the boys to HMV, Foyles bookshop and Dr Martens, before taking them to Chinatown for lunch.

They were still raving about the food when they returned home, and James sent off his present for Lily - a beautiful green scarf that Bess had helped pick out from a Muggle shop.

That evening, after everyone had gone to sleep, Sirius returned to Bess' room and they spent the night together again.

However this time, when Bess woke up to James banging on the door, she just about registered a strong arm wrapped around her as the door opened - Sirius hadn't woken up in time to get back to his own room.

"IT'S CHRISTM- OH COME ON!"

"I'm so sorry!" She cried as she grabbed the cover more securely around her, even though she was wearing her pyjamas.

James groaned and walked back into the hallway, and Bess could hear him saying, "Fuck sake! Not what I needed today!"

"He'll be fine," she heard Sirius mumble as he stretched.

"You are in big trouble, mister!" She replied, pulling back the covers.

Sirius threw his head back against the pillows and groaned as Bess jumped up and summoned her Christmas outfit before running out the door to the bathroom.

When she got downstairs, James was still muttering angrily, and Bess could hear words like, "Stupid... One fucking day... Ruined everything..."

As she entered the kitchen, she gulped, and sat on a stool next to Sirius, who was still in his pyjamas. James was breaking eggs and chucking them in to a large bowl as Euphemia and Fleamont drank their morning tea at the table behind Bess and Sirius.

"I'm so, so sorry, James. I really am. I know it was wrong," Bess implored.

"What? I don't care about that. Do what you want," James said, waving his whisk in the air.

"Then why?"

"Euphemia had Christmas Day, I had Boxing Day, that chump over there had Christmas Eve," Fleamont said, and Bess turned to look at him, raising an eyebrow. "How long it'd take you two to throw caution to the wind," he added with a chuckle.

"What?!"

Sirius barked out a laugh, and said, "James was on the money then!"

"I was?" James asked excitedly as Bess punched Sirius on the arm. "Yes! That's five galleons!"

"You bet five galleons on it? We're not even worth a bit more?" Sirius asked, chuckling in to his mug as Bess hid her head in her hands, torn between embarrassment and amusement.

"Ah ah ah, Pads my old boy, five galleons added to my allowance every week for six months! Think about the pranks we could pull with that!"

"I hate your family," Bess said loudly, groaning as everyone laughed.

After being assured that no one cared that Sirius and Bess had spent the night together, Sirius ran upstairs to move his things in to her room for the rest of the break, and to get ready.

They spent their day making dinner, drinking wizarding cocktails, wine and juice, eating chocolates, sweets and incredible food, and laughing. Bess had never had such a wonderful day.

Finally, at eight in the evening, they retired to the living room to exchange presents - James' family had mini presents throughout the day, saving their more personal ones for the evening.

Euphemia's last gift to them all had been ridiculous pyjamas, and Fleamont's had been large bird themed hats.

Bess grinned as Sirius opened his present from her - a massive stack of LPs, including the new Queen album, before she began to gush about the artists and her favourite songs as he stared down at them.

"It's an awful present really, because they're my favourites, and you might hate them but-" Bess was cut off by Sirius kissing her deeply.

"Love, thank you. Mine... mine won't be as impressive I'm afraid."

Bess smiled and shook her head. "It'll be perfect."

James had just opened Bess' gift of Muggle fairy tales when the doorbell rang. The wards would have warned the Potters if anyone with ill will had crossed them, so they felt safe enough for anyone to answer it.

Nearest the door, Bess jumped up and ran into the hall as James said, "This one's about someone called Sleeping Beauty! What a stupid name!"

"Already?" Bess asked as she opened the door. She waved her wand and sent her friend's trunk upstairs.

"She all but chucked me out."

Bess nodded as her friend took off her coat and shoes, before wrapping an arm around her and pulling her in to the living room.

"Nice scarf."

"Thanks! It was a gift."

"Lily?" James cried as the redhead stepped into the room, before quickly trying to cover up his Christmas themed pyjamas, and tearing off his embarrassingly elaborate hat.

Chapter Text

"Hi James. Sirius," Lily greeted, sending a small smile and a wave to each of the boys.

"These lovely people are James and Sirius' parents, Euphemia and Fleamont," Bess said, pointing to James' parents, and noting the proud smiles they both wore at being referred to as both boys' parents. "They're lovely," she added in a whisper.

Lily grinned nervously at the older couple and said, "Thank you for having me, I really appreciate it. I'm so sorry I'm early. It's just... uh- my sister's not been making it easy on my parents this Christmas, and there was an argument-" Lily cut off as Euphemia walked over and wrapped her arms around her.

"My dear, you are most welcome here. We have space, and we always say the more the merrier, don't we Fleamont? Now... are you the Lily?"

"The Lily?" Lily asked, raising an eyebrow.

Bess leant around her friend and nodded enthusiastically at the matriarch, who grinned. As she pulled back, Bess sent James a look. The poor boy looked incredibly nervous, and was running a hand through his hair.

"Well then, I think maybe it's time that we oldies headed to bed..." Fleamont said quickly.

As he stood, he drained his goblet before half wrestling his wife out of the room and up the stairs - Euphemia, as Bess expected, wanted to stay and grill Lily.

"Right! Evans! Drink?" Sirius asked, clapping his hands together and jumping up to head over to the small bar in the corner of the room. When Lily nodded and began to take off her scarf, he asked, "Wine? Cocktail? Straight Firewhiskey?"

Bess thought he was joking with the last one, but Lily replied with a, "Honestly? After my day? I'll go for the whiskey," before she looked at James, who still looked perturbed. "James? Are you sure it's okay that I'm here?"

He replied without a beat. "Of course, Lily. You're always welcome."

Bess watched as a blush rose on her friend's face, and nudged her with her elbow. Lily smiled slightly and said, "Thanks," to James, before smirking at his pyjamas.

He looked down at them and gulped. James was, like Bess, wearing a set of traditional pyjamas. His had snitches and quaffles on them. Bess saw James shoot an envious look at Sirius, who'd refused to put on the button down pyjama shirt and instead worn a black t-shirt.

He gulped and turned back to Lily, saying, "Sorry... uh- wasn't prepared for guests..."

Lily just snorted and reached down to undo the belt of her oversized jeans.

"Lily?" James asked, his eyes wide, as he watched her pull open her belt.

Lily rolled her eyes and Bess tried not to laugh as the redhead undid her trousers and slipped them off, before pulling off her jumper, revealing a set of bright pink, present and turkey themed pyjamas. "I think mine are worse. At least yours are a nice colour!" she said with a laugh, before chucking her things down and jumping on to the seat next to him. James, who had gone bright red, sent her a small smile before he downed the rest of his hot chocolate.

Sirius barked out a laugh as he finished making a fourth drink, and waved his wand. James and Lily held on tight as the loveseat they were sitting on moved round, and Bess and Sirius' sofa roughly nudged all of the other furniture out of the way, coming to rest in front of the future Potter's' seats, the coffee table in the middle still. The change had created a much more intimate gathering space.

"Right. Evans, Prongs," Sirius called as he walked over, raising each glass in turn, before handing over a large tumbler filled with amber liquid to Lily and a half filled red wine glass to James. He turned to Bess, and said, "Love, ours need ice. Come with me?"

Bess nodded and let Sirius lead her out of the room and in to the kitchen. "That was nice of you, giving them some alone-" she was cut off by Sirius, who'd grabbed her roughly by the hips and sandwiched her between himself and the kitchen wall as he kissed her passionately. Bess smiled against his lips as his hands began to wander.

Eventually he began to trail open mouthed kisses down her neck, giving Bess time to breathe. She gasped slightly as he undid the first two buttons of her pyjama shirt and roughly pulled it to the side so that he could have better access to her lower neck and shoulder.

"Sirius..." Bess whispered, as he nuzzled her neck.

"Love," he replied, his voice deep and husky.