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“Why are you like this?” Yuji asked, tugging at the sweatshirt wrapped tightly in Megumi’s arms.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, this is my sweatshirt!” Megumi protested, pulling it closer into his chest.
It was in fact Yuji’s sweatshirt, but Megumi still clung to it stubbornly.
Just last week while out of town on a mission, Yuji offered it to a curled up and shivering Megumi. They were sharing a bed in a cheap motel and even if Yuji had wanted to do more, it’s not like Megumi would have ever let him. So Yuji settled for pulling his sweatshirt off to help Megumi get some sleep, and it seemed to work. Megumi had pulled up the hood, and tugged the sleeves up over his hands before drifting off into the most restful slumber Yuji had ever seen him have.
Little did Yuji know, Megumi hadn’t wanted to sleep without it since.
For Megumi, most nights were fitful and exhausting. He was too afraid to even close his eyes sometimes, afraid of what his mind might conjure up for nightmares.
But that night at the hotel, breathing deeply in the scent of Yuji, he felt safe, comforted, protected from anything that might find him, and he actually slept for the first time in weeks.
It’s not like Megumi liked Yuji. The man was loud and obnoxious and optimistic to a fault. Megumi could never be with someone like that.
But the way he smiled, the way he slurped his ramen, the sound of his laugh, the look on his face while he played video games, his smell…
No.
Megumi definitely did not have a crush on Yuji.
“Yuji stop tugging you’re going to tear the sleeve!”
“Just admit that it’s mine and that you want to keep it and I’ll stop!” Yuji huffed, an indignant look in his eye.
Megumi rolled his eyes - “I’m not going to admit that because it’s not true. This is my sweatshirt! It always has been and it’s just a dumb raggedy piece of cloth, now let it go!”
“Fine,” Yuji loosened his grip. “If it’s just a dirty old sweatshirt to you, then let me borrow it.”
“That is the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard. What are you even trying to prove?”
Megumi knew exactly what Yuji was trying to prove, but he couldn’t let it happen. He couldn’t let anyone (especially Yuji) see that he had already grown too attached to the damn thing.
“It’s not stupid, I’m cold!” Yuji pretended to shiver and rubbed his arms. Megumi’s eyes narrowed with a scowl.
“It’s not like I’m going anywhere,” Yuji gestured around Megumi’s dorm. “I’m too tired to walk back to my room so I’ll just stay here,” he crossed his arms, signaling finality.
“Your room is literally next door,” Megumi sighed, pushing two fingers to the bridge of his nose in annoyance.
“Let’s just finish this movie at least, but I get to wear the sweatshirt!”
“Fine!” Megumi conceded, finally letting it go.
Yuji happily pulled it over his head and settled back onto the bed, patting the spot next to him. With a very loud and obviously irritated groan, Megumi sat down with crossed arms and a pout.
Megumi didn’t need that stupid thing anyway. It didn’t bother him the slightest that he didn’t have it wrapped around his body. He didn’t care that he didn’t have a hood to pull up around his face that smells like Yuji’s cheap shampoo.It didn’t matter that he felt a bit unnerved without it’s comfort and safety.
Megumi hugged his legs, pulling them tightly into his chest as Yuji started the movie up again, but Megumi was too busy sulking to watch.
Yuji pulled the hood up and stretched his arms out over his head with a yawn. Megumi’s heart skipped a beat when Yuji settled back onto the bed, just a little closer to him than before.
At this point, Megumi wondered if he knew. But then again, Yuji’s brain was void of thoughts at any given moment and he prayed that this was one of those moments.
Soon Megumi’s eyes were getting heavy, his body slumping back into the pillows and the desire to rest became too strong to ignore. Lulled by the noise of the television, his eyes closed subconsciously, but he was quickly startled back awake by his own inability to rest.
Megumi squirmed a bit, trying to get comfortable, but nothing seemed to work. He curled up as far away from Yuji as possible, but it was difficult on the small bed.
This is so stupid, Megumi thought.
He didn’t need that fucking sweatshirt to sleep. He didn’t need the comforting smell, he didn't need Yuji. Megumi was practically an adult, he should be able to sleep on his own.
He grabbed angrily at a blanket, flinging it across his shoulders and attempting to settle into a small pile of pillows. It felt nice for a moment before everything was uncomfortable again.
Megumi looked over at Yuji, eyeing as his chest rose and fell with each soft and quiet breath. It looked so peaceful, the way his face was relaxed and his arms were wrapped loosely around a pillow.
Maybe if Megumi could just…
Megumi tugged lightly at the pillow, testing the heaviness of Yuji’s sleep. Yuji didn’t budge aside from a quiet snore sounding from his throat.
Megumi released the breath he was holding before tugging at the pillow again, pulling it very carefully from Yuji’s arms. He laid down next to his friend, his heart pounding at the thought of what he was about to do.
His frustration was quickly replaced with anxiety, worried about what Yuji might say or do when he slipped into his arms in place of the pillow. But more than that, Megumi was afraid that it might be good. He was afraid that he might feel safe and protected wrapped up in Yuji, that it might just be a perfect fit.
What would happen then?
What would happen when Megumi stopped lying to himself about the feelings he’s had for his friend for so long? What would happen when his crush became something more? And what would happen when it all fell apart, when he would inevitably lose Yuji for good?
It wasn’t worth the risk, or at least it shouldn’t have been, Megumi thought.
But something drew him in, brought him closer until their lips were a mere inch apart and his hand was hovering over Yuji’s waist.
Before Megumi could change his mind and pull away, Yuji’s eyes blinked open. At first he looked confused, but then he was just staring, holding Megumi’s gaze. Megumi panicked and pulled away until Yuji grabbed his wrist, guiding him back down.
“Stay,” Yuji said, pressing his lips to Megumi’s long thin fingers.
Yuji’s lips were warm against his chilled skin, like the first warm day after snow, melting away the ice. Megumi shivered, struggling to keep still when his hips so desperately wanted to dip down to meet Yuji’s own.
“I...I can’t,” Megumi finally whispered, the words leaving a burning sensation in his chest.
Yuji reached up and pressed a hand to Megumi’s cheek, stroking a thumb underneath an averted eye. “Yes...you can,” he tangled his fingers into dark hair, gently combing through. “Please.”
Yuji pulled him in without another word as he began to drift off again. Megumi looped an arm through the pocket of the sweatshirt and Yuji ran gentle fingers through his hair.
When morning came, they were still tangled up together.
Megumi considered jumping out of bed in horror, but decided instead to stay just a little longer.