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"You'll be a hero".
And instead, pursing his lips, Ga On decisively resigned just a couple of days after the explosion of the court. Ignoring the surprise in the eyes of his colleagues, whom he didn't really know anyway, except for Jin Joo, he randomly dumped things from his former desktop into a slightly crumpled box.
To continue what seemed pointless when the population itself triumphantly voted to kill people, including Kang Yo Han, the man they wanted to see as president - it seemed absurd. Maybe Ga On would have tried, but that initial fuse of justice faded away, leaving a void in its wake.
Everything that once seemed right didn't make sense, and, carrying a box in front of him, walking down the corridor, Ga On was just struggling with fragments of memories in which Kang Yo Han was.
Ga On was oppressed by a sense of guilt that, even after all his mistakes, which led to a series of troubles, Yo Han still wished him only the best. Leaving his name unsullied, he himself chose to die a devil, which he had never been. If only Ga On had the right to vote, he would never have allowed him to do so, unquestioningly following him as he wanted.
It seemed that knowing that Yo Han was alive would be enough, but it turned out not to be so.
Resting his forehead against the cold window of the bus, Ga On wanted to go back and, perhaps, cherish the time spent together much more, and maybe even more to show his love, which remained with him, hiding under doubts sown by people who seemed closest to him.
Exhaling noisily, Ga On squeezed his eyes shut, pressing his forehead harder against the window, trying to restrain the surging emotions. He wanted what he didn't deserve, what he sloppily ruined without a chance of salvation — to be next to Yo Han. Ga On would follow him wherever he went. And thinking about it, realizing that this would never happen, the guy pathetically tried to calm the trembling in his body.
Entering an empty house, Ga On carelessly threw the box aside so that he himself, with his back against the door, would slide to the floor, resting his face on his knees. No longer intending to hide, he sobbed, clutching his hair with his hands, causing at least some other pain, different from the one that tore him apart from the inside.
Too little time to forget. Forget the desperate hugs when Ga On, seeing Yo Han alive, snuggled up to him, wanting to feel his body for as long as possible. And now, swaying weakly from side to side, he wanted to feel his hands again. Squinting, Ga On almost managed to imagine it.
The phone persistently distracted with its vibration, immediately pulling Ga On into reality. He turned his head in confusion, noticing the same box reminding him of the end of his career, and also remembering that he was all alone in a cold room.
Exhaling, Ga On picked up the phone, not at all surprised when he saw the hidden number. He resigned, which means he lost any semblance of protection in the face of the country.
After another call, Ga On could only answer. And maybe he did it because he wanted to yell at a stranger who thought he could intimidate him.
"Why did you do that?" Ga On expected to hear a semblance of a threat, but not his voice.
There was a silence that seemed too loud. Lowering the phone, Ga On stared at the screen, as if the inscription "hidden number" could change, help to believe that it was not his imagination.
"Kim Ga On, why did you quit?" The same voice, in which there was clearly concern.
"Yo Han—" the younger one said hoarsely, no longer able to say anything without fear of losing his temper. He pressed his palm to his mouth, hard, so as not to allow himself to make a sound, breathing deeply.
"Ga On-ah, do you hear me?" Softly and worriedly, almost like the day when Ga On betrayed him by stabbing him in the arm. He didn't deserve this warmth, but he still needed it.
"I'm sorry," Ga On stammered treacherously, pressing his teeth into His palm, thinking that this way he could suppress hysteria. Taking a deep breath seemed like an ordeal when his breathing broke.
"Take your time, inhale slowly," Yo Han heard intermittent muffled sobs, trying to bring him to himself. Only the distance prevented this.
Yo Han was helpless right now, gently repeating Ga On's name in the hope that it would calm him down, but it didn't work that way.
These couple of days Yo Han did not stop thinking about him, contacting Lawyer Ko just to find out how he was. The elder has never been so unsure as when he left Ga On in Korea. They didn't have time to sort things out, except for hard looks, and, deciding that a career would be healing for the guy, he didn't pull him along.
"Ga On-ah," Yo Han breathed out when all he heard from him were poorly concealed sobs. He sincerely hoped that he had done the right thing, remembering how the guy wanted to fight injustice, but now running into a dead end.
"Why? Why didn't you let me stay?" Ga On barely uttered it, feeling like he was going to break down a little bit more.
"Ga On, you need to calm down," and if Yo Han insisted, he did it too condescendingly, without a shadow of an order. He could have told the truth, tried to explain that he acted for the sake of the guy's well-being, but hearing his hysteria, it became meaningless.
"Take me away, please," he blurted out a confession, and then Ga On dropped the phone.
No, he did not realize his words, tucking his knees to his chest, ending up with his whole body on the floor. He was just devastated, having reached the edge. Soo Hyun's death, Professor Min's betrayal, a complicated relationship with Yo Han, his two deaths, regrets, pain, loneliness - all mixed up. There seemed to be no end to the darkness, as there was no strength to fight it. He closed his eyes wearily.
The bright rays of the sun pulled Ga On to the surface. Early morning. The only thing the guy could understand, feeling how his head was splitting with pain, as well as his eyes.
Awkwardly resting his hands on the floor, Ga On wanted to get up, but inadvertently collided with the wall when he saw a man.
"Judge Kim, you need to close the door," like a small child, Lawyer Ko reminded.
"Why are you here?" Ga On said in confusion, and the memories of last night clearly surfaced.
Becoming even paler than was, Ga On shyly looked away.
"Take me away!"
He said it.
Watching the change of emotions on the guy's face, Inguk handed him a large envelope, depriving him of time for self-reflection.
"What is it?" Ga On asked, her voice lost again.
Examining the envelope, he hesitantly opened it, pulling out an impressive amount of papers and even a passport.
"A backup option," Lawyer Ko said calmly, while Ga On flipped through the papers with trembling fingers.
"What does all this mean?" Ga On whispered, seeing that the documents were dated a month ago.
"You were originally in his plan," omitting the formalities, Inguk replied, coming closer, giving him the tickets. "He wanted to give you a choice, to stay here or with him".
"But he didn't say anything," he stammered, clutching the papers in his hands.
"You didn't let him do it," Inguk replied easily, not hesitating to remind him of his mistakes.
Ga On was not offended, and he himself understood that he had ruined everything. Seeing the tickets to Switzerland for tonight's flight, he looked at Inguk in surprise without words.
"If you want to ask how I didn't make a mistake with the date, as if I knew that you would quit, I'll say right away that I didn't foresee anything," the man shook his head, smiled slightly. "Someone really scared Judge Kang at night".
Looking away, Ga On could feel his cheeks burning. What he had done by throwing a tantrum, knowing that Yo Han had heard him - it seemed impossible. But, holding the plane tickets in His hand, he realized that everything was real. And Inguk's words only added confidence.
You were originally in his plan. He wanted to give you a choice whether to stay here or with him.
***
Clutching the only bag in which Ga On left references to his parents, He hurriedly got off the plane. During the entire flight, he couldn't get rid of the thought that Yo Han had been waiting for him from the very beginning, leaving the choice to him, and this gave hope.
Having lost his head, Ga On tried to find a familiar face. He felt so small in a huge airport, in a completely strange place. Knowing that Ye Han was supposed to meet him, Ga On continued to stand in the crowd of people. Everyone was in a hurry, quickly bypassing him, slightly brushing his shoulders while the younger one was waiting.
"Ga On-ah, are you okay?" the whisper is very close, and immediately warm hands, frozen on his waist, pulled him much closer, just at the moment when a hurrying man almost crashed into him.
Holding his breath, only nodding weakly, but Ga On didn't move. He could not gather his thoughts, knowing that Kang Yo Han was standing behind him, and he did not pull away from him, even when the threat to interfere with someone on the way disappeared. The man did not let go of him, hugging him from behind.
"Ga On-ah," Yo Han called softly, leaning towards his ear, not wanting to rush him, as well as not to let him close in on himself.
"You never turned away from me, even when I did exactly that. And from the very beginning you wanted me to be here, with you and Elijah," Ga On said, unable to cope with the voice that was trembling, already knowing that everything was exactly like that.
"I know that you wanted to believe me to the last," Yo Han calmed down too well him, especially when Ga On felt that He didn't deserve it. "Ga On-ah, there are excuses for your mistakes, even if you continue to blame yourself, I never did it. It's all good".
Yo Han couldn't imagine what a healing effect his words had when Ga On suddenly turned to him, unable to cope with the tears on his cheeks. As quickly as he could, knowing that he wanted to take a step only because of an overabundance of emotions, he clumsily touched Yo Han's lips, just for a second, to quickly pull away as well. Without having time to feel a wave of shame, a warm palm appeared on his cheek, and the other remained on his waist, insistently pulling him closer.
Ga On only tightened his fingers on the elder's jacket when Yo Han initiated the kiss, acting not so timidly, immediately penetrating his tongue into his mouth. Kissing in such a way as to convey all the accumulated feelings, tactilely to make it clear how important he was to him, Yo Han firmly held Ga On by his side.
It didn't matter that they were still standing at the airport, as long as both only saw each other. Even when they pulled away, they did not let go of their hands, breathing heavily, looking disheveled, but both smiling happily — and one of them through tears.
"Let's go home, Ga On-ah".