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you never had a home, never had and never will. being a herrscher meant being more on the run than able to pick one place to stay. the possibility of someone trying to capture you laid heavy on your shoulders against everything else that could possibly stand against you. the previous overwhelming sense of melancholy about it all had faded after hundreds and thousands of years by now.
you were used to being on the run, never planned on ending it. it would be impossible to do it after all.
yet at times, you did find yourself thinking about her. one of the mantis’ that once fought against you. to her, her entire purpose was to fight against the honkai, to finally end them all off. but in the end, she wasn’t able to.
you sighed, old memories once again resurfacing. there wasn’t much to do with your own head after all. nothing else to think about what where to go and everything that happened in the old world. conversations were short with humans, eating at restaurants or cooking was silent, walks around any area was cut short at all times. there was very little you could do to change it.
the wind picked up around you as you sat up. placing down a tip of money onto the picnic table for your server when they came to clean the table you had sat at. the temperature was slowly getting colder with the season of winter approaching as the days went by. the air caught in your chest was slowly let out as you walked along the path, you felt strangely lonely. even the leaves that drifted away drifted together.
were you a lone leaf compared to them? a broken leaf floating from the tree of your past, yet never able to stay far away from it. a leaf that would get stomped on or crumpled up. or would your leaf never stop its journey around? would it be able to see the world? or would it be crushed?
the wind seemed to continue to pick up, almost like it didn’t want you to move. but being stagnant wasn’t an option to you. all you could do was continue onwards, even if the entire world had to stop moving so you would stand still for a moment longer.
“the wind seems to get pretty aggressive in these times, doesn’t it?”
that voice… it was familiar to you. yet also so unknown at the same time.
you cleared your throat before answering, “i guess it does.”
“almost like the world itself is telling you to stop running for once.”
“huh?”
you turned to the voice.
that’s her…
ah how could not tell from her voice alone? is that why it sounded so familiar to you? after so so so long. you finally saw her again.
it wasn’t good that you saw her though, right? the girl right by you, fu hua, had made it her entire life to destroy the honkai after everything that had happened to her. after everything they had done to her in the old world. it seemed you weren’t any different either, being a herrscher after all.
is this where it will end for you?
fu hua didn’t do anything more than adjust her glasses as the wind had made them a bit uneven on her face. another breeze floated next to the both of you. oh how you wished it would let you move from the spot you were seemingly glued to already. more leaves rustled by the two of you. two broken leaves fluttered to a stop in front of both you and fu hua, both ruined from being stepped on but continuing the journey together.
fu hua’s voice broke through the breeze, stepping towards you yet missing both of the leaves that stood in her way. “it seems that running into herrschers on accident is a common theme around this time, as strange as it is now. after all that has happened in our old world.”
the air around you seemed to chill. you didn’t want to end like this. why weren’t you allowed to live? what did you do? you swore you’ve kept yourself a clean slate in this era now. taking control of your herrscher abilities and doing what you could to survive longer through this time. is all that work going to end now?
yet fu hua didn’t make any further move to you.
“a-are you going to end it now? kill me right here?” you asked. your voice felt so quiet, barely leaving passed your lips as the words flew in the wind that kept swaying by.
“i’ve met many new people during this time, and learned many new things. even a stubborn girl i know was able to drag me out from where i once was. even after all that i have done, after all that has happened in the past and even continuing in the present.”
“that doesn’t even answer my question.”
fu hua’s calmness seemed to irk you. was she dragging it out? what was she planning? you haven’t seen her since the previous era, how much has she changed by now? what would happen?
more questions continued to float in your head, never moving. they were stagnant, unlike what you were. continuing to grow and bury themselves into your head to never move until something was done.
“you haven’t let me answer it” fu hua said, walking two steps closer to you, “for once, i have no plans for taking you out. even as a herrscher you’ve been on the run since the beginning of your time. not even the strongest of winds could hold you down now.”
your eyes followed the two leaves that were once landed right in front of you. finally, they broke free from the still air between you and fu hua, disappearing into the wind. their journey was unknown to you and fu hua. yet it seemed their journey would be complete with the both of them together for once.
would it ever be like that for you?
“yet can i ask for you to once, pause for journey across the world?”
what was she thinking?
was she tricking you?
your head was blank and full of all the possibilities of what she meant. the air stilled, the wind disappearing and the leaves standing still.
“has… has time changed you that much?” you whispered.
“less of time and more of a few stubborn friends that don’t want to let me go either,” fu hua answered.
“i’ve been journeying by myself across this land for more years than any human can count, why should i stop now?”
“you’ve been getting more worn out overtime. even a herrscher can’t spend time all alone, going to the last bit of rope on a cliff of loneliness, just to fall. someone has taught me that now. and the best thing to do with messages of those is to carry it on to others around you.
seeing you here was something i didn’t expect, yet it felt like a proper time to pass along this teaching that has taken so long for me to understand. at some point, all things have to end. even if it might be something you’ve done for years.”
silence sat in the air. the will to finally accept someones warmth beckoned you to its enticing embrace. yet you still felt hesitant. was it truly a good idea? what would you do?
“if i take you up on this offer… what will happen?”
fu hua let out an amused to breath, “not even i can say much to that. many things have happened that we could never predict would. yet, it seems better than to be able to see what is coming every single day. knowing you’ll be continuing on a journey of running, or continuing on a journey that never seemed to end at all. maybe for once, you can continue on without knowing.”
fu hua held out her hand to you. it was in reach.
what would happen though? would you be safe?
you tried to empty your head, yet nothing worked. even then, your hand reached out into fu hua’s. placing your palm against yours. her hands were rough from fighting, yet it felt so warm to you. it felt inviting… you missed this. something you were never able to have in your life. you can finally have it for once.
“then please… let me stay still for once,” you whispered, words barely coming out without cracking. tears that were held inside for years finally facing the surface, facing the light you were finally facing for once.
“of course,” was all fu hua answered.
for once, you could stay still. planting yourself in a time that wasn’t filled with running from all of humanity. for once, you wouldn’t regret a choice you were made. and you’d never regret having fu hua along side you.