Work Text:
It was another morning, the same as the last. The clouds which blanketed the sky were a deep shade of grey, another day without sun.
I didn't really see the point in moving. Succumbing to the heavy numbness which seemed to weigh on me more and more often these days.
The soft chime of my phone on the side table was expected, Luz was probably messaging... the daily 'good morning my love' which would normally make my heart flutter in my chest. But lately I don't have the energy to check it let alone respond, her messages sitting unopened.
There was a second chime, one I wasn't expecting, she normally didn't text more than once if I hadn't responded in awhile.
Another soft chime, the buzzing of it against wood made me cringe and I picked up the phone.
*Luz* 11:15 AM: Good morning, my love!
*Luz* 11:16 AM: You haven't responded in a little while, r u ok ? :(
*Luz* 11:16 AM: I'm going to come over to check up on you xo ❤️
I stared at the messages, a feeling of dread at the idea of her seeing me like this making my stomach turn. I shut my phone off and rolled to my back, staring at the weaving cracks in the ceiling. This is fine, I thought, It'll be nice to have her here. Right?
I don't know how much time passed as I laid there, a thousand years or two minutes? It felt the same.
Eventually my thoughts were interrupted by soft tapping on the door, an excited rhythm, Luz.
Her knock was always the same, always followed by the soft jingling of keys in the door’s janky deadlock.
I found the energy to sit up, hugging my knees close to my chest. I should be embarrassed... I had been embarrassed... but now I just can't wait to see her. Why didn't I message her sooner?
She enters the apartment, carrying a white plastic bag which I assume hold takeout.
I feel myself smile, weak but there, at the sight of her. Brown eyes and smile as bright as ever, she could outshine the sun any day.
“Hey Am,” she greets me and sits on the end of the bed “Boy, you had me worried! I'm glad to see you. I brought some supper if you're up to eat?”
Guilt flares in my chest and I glance down towards the ground, I hadn't meant to worry her. She seems to notice. “Hey hey…” she reaches and holds my face, tilting my chin to look at her, I feel the blush spread across my cheeks but hold her gaze. I feel a little embarrassed, her looking at me like this. I hadn't bothered to dye my hair so my roots are all grown out and I hadn't showered in a little while and- “it's not your fault, I understand… I just care about you and I was a little worried when you didn't respond! You don't owe me a response, you don't have to feel bad,” she smiles reassuringly and I feel myself relax, falling into her and wrapping my arms around her waist. It feels so good to finally see her again. She freezes for a moment, not expecting the sudden hug but melts into it. She puts the food on the floor and returns the hug, securing me against her. I'd never felt so safe. God it felt so hard sometimes, even with her here, it's difficult. But she can take the edge off. Her soft voice and the way she cares, the way she holds, the way she so genuinely wants to help. It's so difficult but she's so soft. And she's here. As long as I can stay wrapped up in her arms, her voice like magic, I will. When she hurts, I hope I can do the same. Give her the bliss she gives me.
Her hand runs through my hair, ruffling the soft curls. “What do you say about watching the movie adaptation of good witch Azura? And food… and cuddles?”
“That sounds amazing,”
I love that she doesn't ask for what's wrong, she doesn't pry or beg… she listens when I tell her but when I can't she doesn't make me feel guilty.
I just need her to be here, and she is, and I'd be happy to return the favour when she needs it.