Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

5:04 pm

felixie, Minho (private chat)

felixie: hiiii, do u have the water bottle that you borrowed from me this morning? i need it back so i can use it tomorrow ^_^

Minho: I gave it to Hyunjin, he said he would give it to you later

Minho: Don't you live in the same dorm as him?

felixie: ya but i already asked hyunjin and he doesnt have it

felixie: hang on im gonna ask again

5:09 pm

felixie, Changbin (private chat)

felixie: hey so i just got your number from hyunjin

felixie: apparently you stole his water bottle earlier today?

Changbin: It was an accident!!! I thought it was mine, I swear

felixie: it's fine! but it was actually my water bottle that hyunjin had borrowed, and i kinda need it back?

Changbin: Oh

Changbin: I gave it to my friend, Chan, and he said he'd give it to some kid named Seungin because Seungin apparently has psych with Hyunjin today

Changbin: And I thought it was Hyunjin's water bottle so I was hoping he could give it back

felixie: wait do you mean seungmin?

Changbin: Oh

Changbin: Yeah, I do

felixie: i know seungminnie!!

felixie: thanks for your help! ^o^

5:15 pm

felixie, Seungminnie (private chat)

felixie: heyo 💕

felixie: changbin said that chan said he would give you my water bottle that minho borrowed and gave to hyunjin earlier today?

Seungminnie: ...what?

felixie: basically, i'm trying to ask if you have my water bottle!

felixie: and if you do, can you please give it to me?

Seungminnie: I don't have your water bottle

felixie: oh

Seungminnie: I barely even talk to Chan, and I haven't seen him today

felixie: oh

felixie: then where is my water bottle?

Seungminnie: I have no idea

felixie: hm

felixie: do you have chan's number??

Seungminnie: Yeah sure, I'll send it to you

felixie: thank you! ^_^

5:24 pm

felixie, Bang Chan (private chat)

felixie: hi! could you please give me my water bottle?

Bang Chan: I gave it to Jisung earlier! He said he was gonna give it to you later today

felixie: what the fuck

Bang Chan: ...???

5:27 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

felixie: yo

felixie: you have my water bottle??

sungie: no?

felixie: how do you not have my water bottle???

felixie: ive literally done the most COMPLICATED detective work EVER, and everything lead to you!!!!

sungie: i did have your water bottle!! but now i have changbin's water bottle so i'm pretty sure it got mixed up when we were in the music studio earlier

felixie: are you fucking kidding me

sungie: i can give you my water bottle instead, if that helps?

felixie: thank you but it's fine

felixie: i'll solve the case, no matter what it takes!

5:33 pm

felixie added Minho, Changbin, Seungmin, Bang Chan, sungie and HyUnJiN to a group chat!

felixie set the chat name to CASE OPEN

felixie: one of yall has my water bottle and i need to know who

HyUnJiN: felix please... was the group chat really necessary?

felixie: i don't know, hyunjin

felixie: do you care about justice? fairness? equality? do you think you are above the laws of this land, hwang?

Seungmin: I don't think it's that deep, tbh...

felixie: don't care

felixie: according to all my research so far, changbin was the last person seen with my water bottle!

Changbin: I don't even know you

felixie: that is irrelevant right now, you still had my water bottle!

felixie: i just wanna get it back :(

Changbin: but I already told you that I gave it to Chan, who gave it to Seungmin, who was supposed to give it to Hyunjin and then to you

felixie: yea but that didnt happen, and here we are

felixie: the water bottle somehow got to jisung, but jisung has YOUR water bottle so i'm assuming you have mine?

Changbin: Wait what, I don't have anyone's water bottle right now

sungie: lixie

sungie: innie has your water bottle

felixie: WHAT

felixie added Jeongin to CASE OPEN

felixie: my sweet summer child ☺️💕

Jeongin: I was literally born in winter but ok

Jeongin: also, what is this OwO?

felixie: i heard that you have somehow gotten your hands on my water bottle that i've been looking for all day

sungie: you literally forgot about it the entire day and only remembered like 30 mins ago, but sure :)

felixie: SHUT

felixie: anyway!

felixie: innie?

Jeongin: yeah, I have it

felixie: OMG thank you!! so much!!!

Jeongin: for what? lmao I haven't given it back yet

felixie: but you're gonna give it to me

felixie: right?

felixie: ...innie?

felixie: youre gonna give it back to me, right?

Jeongin: I mean...

felixie: PLEASE

Jeongin: how much is it worth?

felixie: your life, if you don't give it back to me right this second

Jeongin: okay damn, I was just messing with you

Jeongin: jisung has it now so you can just get it from him

felixie: sungie, confirm

sungie: confirm what

felixie: is my water bottle safely in your possession?

sungie: i'm not sure if i would go that far, but yeah i have it

sungie: safely? idk about that

felixie: i'll take what i can get, i guess :/

HyUnJiN: sooo... do we just ignore this group chat now?

felixie: OMG WAIT

felixie: I THINK THIS IS ALL THE SUPERNATURALS I KNOW ON CAMPUS IN ONE GROUP CHAT??

HyUnJiN: Mingo is supernatural???? :0

Minho: How did you not know that?

felixie: lmao

felixie set Minho's name to Mingo

Mingo: Felix :/

Mingo: But yeah, I'm a fae

HyUnJiN: OMG I DIDNT KNOW BOTH U AND FELIX WERE FAE!!

felixie: no offense but how did you not know that?

HyUnJiN: I'm stupid, shut up

felixie: lmao

Bang Chan: sEUNGMIN IS SUPERNATURAL???

Bang Chan: WHAT

Seungmin: I'm a witch

Bang Chan: SINCE WHEN??

Seungmin: Since I was born

Seungmin: listen, I don't know why you're surprised by this, we've had like... two conversations with each other

Seungmin: I didn't know you were supernatural, either

Bang Chan: I'm a werewolf!

sungie: seungmin didn't even ask lmao

Bang Chan: :(

sungie: ...but i'm sure he wanted to know! right seungmin?

Seungmin: Of course

Seungmin: But I'm gonna be honest, I don't really know what's going on right now and I have no idea who most of you even are

felixie: YO we could save this chat and use it again!

Mingo: For what?

felixie: memes??

felixie: friendship??

felixie: idk tbh ^_^

HyUnJiN: Yeah that sounds good with me

HyUnJiN: I mean, the only people I know here are Minho and Felix and Jisung and Seungmin and Changbin...

HyUnJiN: wait that's almost everyone

Jeongin: I don't even know anyone. why am I here

felixie: because you share a dorm with sungie!!

felixie: and also because you somehow stole my water bottle :/

Jeongin: LMAO yeah uve got me there (☞ﾟヮﾟ)☞

felixie: ok so i guess we'll just keep this gc and see what happens!!

felixie: hope no one dies (^_^)

Bang Chan: Why would anyone die???

felixie: u never know!!

Bang Chan: ...okay

Chapter Text

1:45 pm

3RACHA (3)

CB97: Voice?

SpearB: what

SpearB: bro that's not a complete sentence, wdym VOICE?

CB97: Can I borrow a voice?

SpearB: Ah

SpearB: Sorry I'm in class

CB97: Okie, that's fine

CB97: Pup?

J.One: yeah i'm free ( ^o^ )

CB97: Come to the studio!

J.One: what am i doing?

CB97: I'm just making a guide right now, all I have so far is a pre-chorus and an empty track

CB97: Or well, the track isn't empty, there just aren't any vocals yet

SpearB: Omg can we write lyrics??

CB97: Bin put your phone away, you're in class!

SpearB: :(

CB97: But yeah I can leave the verses for you guys :)

CB97: Right now I just wanna record a guide for the pre-chorus

J.One: omw!

CB97: Do you think Lixie would let us borrow his voice for the bridge?

CB97: I haven't written that part yet but I think his voice would be really cool on this track

J.One: yeah! and if he doesn't want to, i could threaten him a little?

CB97: JISUNG NO

J.One: aww :(

CB97: I think it's enough if we just ask him nicely

J.One: lmao okay

J.One: maybe you have a point

SpearB: What happened to Felix's water bottle yesterday, by the way?

CB97: BIN

CB97: PHONE

SpearB: yessir sorry sir

J.One: lmfao

J.One: i gave lix his water bottle back this morning, so that case was solved

CB97: Were all the people in that gc really supernatural?

J.One: idk i don't know

CB97: ...you know that idk is short for I don't know, right?

J.One: LMAO YEAH

J.One: i was gonna say that i don't know minho or seungmin but i sent the message too early lol

J.One: but they both said they were supernatural, so i guess it's true!

CB97: wAIT... JEONGIN IS SUPERNATURAL???

CB97: YOUR ROOMMATE JEONGIN??????

J.One: bro...

CB97: Ajshfgasd sorry my brain didn't process it until right this moment

CB97: But WHAT!

J.One: he's a lil witch boi ^_^

CB97: Have you known about it all this time??

J.One: pretty much yeah

J.One: didn't know how open he was about it tho

J.One: some supernaturals don't like telling people

CB97: True

J.One: but yeah i guess that means everyone else is the gc is supernat ^_^

CB97: Damn you're just constantly surrounded by supernaturals! Haha

J.One: :(

J.One: but im like an honorary fae though!

J.One: cause i used to live in the faerie realm for a bit!!

CB97: You were there for two days when you were a newborn, that doesn't count

J.One: still!!!

CB97: You're more like an honorary werewolf

CB97: 3RACHA is basically a pack, and you're our pup! <3

J.One: calling me "pup" doesnt make me a werewolf LOL but thats cute! <3

SpearB: Admit it, you're more werewolf than a fae

SpearB: you always spend the full moon with us

CB97: BIN

SpearB: Sorry yes I'm focused on class!!!

CB97: But yeah, Bin is right, you're more werewolf than fae

CB97: No matter what Felix tries to say about it

J.One: are you... fighting... over me??

CB97: No I'm just saying!

CB97: You're more werewolf than fae

J.One: lmao okay

CB97: Please tell Felix that

J.One: wtf lol

J.One: but sure, okay

2:31 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

sungie: YO

sungie: can we borrow your voice for a track? :D

felixie: YO do u mean "we" as in 3RACHA????

sungie: yes ofc

felixie: OHMYGOD OF COURSE YOU CAN

sungie: great! :D

sungie: i guess i don't have to threaten you then!

felixie: what

sungie: anyway!

sungie: chan told me that he thinks i'm more werewolf than fae

felixie: wHAT??

sungie: chan's words, not mine

felixie: you're WAY more fae than werewolf!

felixie: you lived in the faerie realm for several days!!!

sungie: true

felixie: we literally grew up together! and i'm a fae!!

felixie: you literally have fae magic in your blood right now!!!

sungie: okay but the rest of 3racha doesnt know that so it's not a valid argument lol

felixie: :/

felixie: i still think you should tell them about that btw

sungie: i will respectfully ignore your suggestion, thank you very much ^_^

felixie: do what you want, it's your life

felixie: they will be mad at you when they find out tho

sungie: that's why i'm gonna make sure they don't find out :)

felixie: lmao, i don't think it's gonna work but good luck!

sungie: thanks bro ^_^

sungie: but i was thinking

sungie: fae VS werewolves

felixie: you want us to fIGHT each othr???

sungie: NO no no

sungie: i honestly just wanna watch you argue for my own entertainment lmao

felixie: that's stupid, i'm not gonna start an argument

sungie: chan really does think i'm more werewolf than fae

sungie: he even calls me pup sometimes

felixie: he WHAT??

sungie: since i'm the youngest in 3racha (✿◠‿◠)

felixie: fuck no!

2:48 pm

CASE OPEN (8)

felixie: BANG CHAN! CHANGBIN!

felixie: SQUARE TF UP!!!

Jeongin: did they steal another one of your water bottles

felixie: NO

Bang Chan: Oh, is this about the fae VS werewolf thing?

felixie: YES IT IS

HyUnJiN: YO WHAT DO YOU MEAN fae vs werewolves?

HyUnJiN: LIX, what do you have against werewolves? huh??

felixie: fuck i forgot that you're a werewolf...

felixie: how am i gonna win this argument if it's 3 vs 1 :(

Mingo: I have no idea what this is about, but I'm a fae and I'm always down to argue about something pointless ;)

Bang Chan: None of you even know what we're talking about

Bang Chan: This is only between Felix and 3RACHA

Jeongin: then why did you bring it up in a group chat with so many other people?

Changbin: I mean, Jeongin has a point

Mingo: What's the argument about?

Changbin: It's about Jisung

Changbin: Chan and I think he's more werewolf than fae, Felix thinks he's more fae than werewolf

Seungmin: I didn't know you could mix fae and werewolf genes?

Changbin: No no, Jisung is human! But he's like an honorary werewolf because he's in 3RACHA with me and Chan

Bang Chan: Yeah

Bang Chan: We're basically like a mini pack!

felixie: just because you call him pup doesn't mean he's a werewolf!!!

Mingo: I thought you said everyone in this group chat was supernatural

felixie: jisungie is basically like a supernatural human, because he's an honorary fae! ^_^

Changbin: HONORARY WEREWOLF

Bang Chan: HONORARY WEREWOLF

felixie: NO!!

HyUnJiN: I don't really see why this matters

HyUnJiN: but I'm on the werewolves side! because I'm a werewolf lol

Mingo: Has anyone tried asking Jisung what he wants to be?

felixie: ...

Bang Chan: ...

Changbin: ...

sungie: i can be both! lol

felixie: you're more fae though

Changbin: Still part of our pack

Jeongin: well.. this is interesting

Jeongin: what are your arguments?

Bang Chan: Jisung is in our pack!

felixie: but he lived in the faerie realm for several days, plus he grew up with me and i'm a fae!!

Jeongin: he sounds more like a fae then

Jeongin: sorry bang chan and changbin

felixie: I TOLD YOU!!!

Bang Chan: I stand by what I said before

Bang Chan: He's an honorary werewolf

Mingo: I think this is pointless and there's no right answer

Seungmin: Let Jisung be whatever he wants to, or just let him be both

Jeongin: I think he's an honorary witch! ^_^

felixie: LISTEN HERE JEONGIN

Bang Chan: He is NOT

Changbin: NO witch!!

felixie: HOW would he be???

Bang Chan: There's nothing witchy about him!

Changbin: He's our pup and Felix's bro, just because you two share a room doesn't make him a witch!

Jeongin: ...tbh, I was just trying to stir up chaos :p

Jeongin: and I succeeded! I don't actually think he's a witch lmao

felixie: ...

Bang Chan: ...I guess Jisung can be both, if he wants to :/

sungie: thank u!

sungie: this means you're not allowed to fight with felix through me anymore

Bang Chan: Okay pup! 😊

felixie: oh my god

felixie: wait

felixie: i can still fight them!! i just cant go through you to do it!!

Changbin: hELL YEAH LETS KEEP FIGTING!!!

Seungmin: Please don't!

sungie: stop the violence

Jeongin: stop fighting!

felixie: :(

felixie: ok i guess i'll be friendly with chan and changbin

Changbin: Truce?

felixie: idk what that means but let's stop fighting!

Changbin: Yeah, that's what truce means

felixie: oh! great :D

Changbin: :D

Chapter Text

10:02 pm

CASE OPEN (8)

felixie: how does this gc feel about me asking very random question at very random times of the day??

sungie: there's a button you can click to leave this gc

sungie: there's also a button you can click to mute this gc

sungie: does that answer your question?

felixie: ...no? my brian isnt really workin rn, i dont get what u mean

sungie: akjhsfsd i'm just saying that if anyone doesn't like your random questions, they can leave!

sungie: wait that sounds rude

sungie: i mean like, no one has to stay here if they're not vibing with it but you shouldn't change your behavior to make people like you more!

sungie: ask random questions if you want ^_^

felixie: okay so

felixie: glee is complete bullshit but the sountrack slaps

HyUnJiN: TRUE

felixie: omg hi hyunjin, i forgot about your name lmao!

felixie set HyUnJiN's name to hyunbro

hyunbro: ???

felixie: youre my bro

felixie: your name is hyunjin

felixie: i feel like that name is pretty self explanatory

hyunbro: oh yes lol I got that!

Jeongin: did I miss felix's random question or has it not happened yet?

felixie: oh right!!! i forgot to say it haha

felixie: what glee character are u guys??

felixie: like, tag yourself: glee edition! :D

Jeongin: ooh! :D

Changbin: I never watched that show

felixie: oh

felixie: i see

felixie has removed Changbin from CASE OPEN

sungie: FELIXHFDSGSFDH OMFG

sungie: ADD HIM BACK!!!!

felixie: okay fiiiine

felixie has added Changbin to CASE OPEN

felixie: there!

Changbin: wHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT

Changbin: DUDE???

felixie: hey changbin

felixie: take this quiz

felixie: https://www.buzzfeed.com/santanal0pez7/based-on-your-answers-to-these-questions-well-te-37x392vtg8

Changbin: Okay brb

felixie: for the questions about glee songs, you can just think about the original songs ^_^

felixie: cause obviously u havent seen the glee versions

sungie: lix, who would u tag yourself as?

felixie: rachel berry

sungie: wait seriously

sungie: why??

felixie: because just like rachel, i am a ✨attention whore✨

Jeongin: OMFG

hyunbro: ADSHJFDGSSJ

sungie: i don't event think that's true??

sungie: you're one of the kindest people i've met and you never put yourself first

sungie: i'm trying to think of ways you're similar to rachel and i can think of none

sungie: except that you are very talented! ^_^

felixie: ^o^

sungie: other than that, you're not similar at all

sungie: and that's a compliment! you're way nicer than she is

felixie: thank u <3

Changbin: I took the quiz and I got Kurt Hummel?

Changbin: "You are quirky, humorous, fun, and open-minded! You're shy around others but once they get to know you, you aren't afraid to be your true self."

sungie: hmmm

sungie: he's really extra and i just dont know if u could pull that off

sungie: but tbh i would love to see u do some of his performances! it would be really fun lol

Changbin: Oh? You don't think I could be extra??

sungie: not in the same way as him, no

Changbin: I'M OFFENDED!

Changbin: I CAN BE //SO// EXTRA, YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW EXTRA I CAN BE!!

sungie: okay, then you should learn "le jazz hot" or "not the boy next door" and perform it for us!

Changbin: Okay fine! Maybe I will!!!

sungie: ooh i'm looking forward to it! :D

felixie: sooo...

felixie: what glee characters would u guys be??

Seungmin: Santana

sungie: SEUNGTANA!

felixie: omg!!!

felixie set Seungmin's name to Seungtana

Seungtana: ...

Seungtana: How did I get here

felixie: ok, sorry about your amazing name ig 🙄

felixie: did u wanna explain why youre santana? ^_^

Seungtana: She's independent, took like 3 seasons to come out, brutally honest.

Mingo: Mood

Mingo: Except for the coming out part

felixie: youre straight?????? :0

Mingo: Oh GOD no, what do you think of me????

Mingo: I just mean that I came out when I was 11 so I can't relate to taking a long time with it

felixie: ooooh

hyunbro: but if seungmin is santana, who are you minho?

Mingo: Who am I?

Mingo: That's deep

hyunbro: **what glee character are you?

Mingo: Hey Seungmin, can we share?

Seungtana: No

Mingo: Well okay then

Mingo: I'm Quinn

felixie: oki! any reason? :D

Mingo: Because seungmin didn't let me be Santana and I want to be someone from the unholy trinity

Mingo: So it was either Quinn or Brittany and tbh I feel like I'm more of a Quinn

Seungtana: You're capitalizing every name except for mine

Mingo: Good observation, seungin. :)

Seungtana: ...is this punishment because I said no to sharing Santana?

Mingo: I don't know, seunmin

Mingo: What do you think? :)

Seungtana: You're not even saying my name anymore

Mingo: seungjin

Seungtana: Okay, you're doing that on purpose

Mingo: Yes :)

felixie: ...i can't tell if the tension between you two is sexual or evil

sungie: felix

sungie: what

felixie: like, are they gonna be rivals?? or lovers?? i can't tell!!

sungie: you mean seungmin and minho???

felixie: yeah! :D

Seungtana: Enemies, obviously /j

Mingo: Lovers ;)

sungie: actually... i see what you mean

sungie: it could go either way tbh

felixie: i'm hoping for lovers <3

hyunbro: why not both? I bet they could pull that off

hyunbro: evil lovers!

felixie: oh my GOD what a concept!!

sungie: brilliant, amazing, showstopping, incredible, never been done before

felixie: sungie!!!

felixie: you never tagged yourself as a glee character!

felixie: and hyunjin too!!

hyunbro: I wanna be Blaine!

felixie: i feel like he actually tries to be a good person a lot of times

felixie: so yeah that sounds good for u! :D

felixie: he's also super dramatic lmfao

sungie: i know that changbin got kurt when he took the quiz, but i think he's more like mercedes

felixie: oh??

sungie: yeah!

sungie: and felix, then you could be kurt!!

sungie: and then u can date hyunjin! :D

hyunbro: what why

hyunbro: why would felix suddenly start dating me hahaha that makes no sense??

sungie: ...because you said you're blaine and he's kurt. they date in the show

hyunbro: OH, okay

hyunbro: lol that makes sense!

Changbin: So I just listened to the songs Jisung mentioned...

sungie: OMG

Changbin: I can't wait to show you my performance!

sungie: wait yuo're actually doing it??? youre not backing out?????

Changbin: I'll admit that they seem kinda difficult to pull off, but if you think I'm gonna let that stop me, you're wrong

Changbin: I'm not that weak

sungie: giving up isn't weak, it takes courage to admit that you can't do something

sungie: but yay omg i really wanna see you do this!!! :D

sungie: which song are u gonna learn?

Changbin: I'll try both and see which one causes me the least physical pain

sungie: uhh,,, maybe don't do this if you're going to hurt yourself???

Changbin: no no, I just meant that they're both out of my comfort zone

Changbin: I don't mean literal pain lol

sungie: ohhh oki good ( ^_^ )

Jeongin: hi I would like to tag myself as sue sylvester, if that's her name (?)

sungie: yeah you're right! that's her name

sungie: and omg??

Jeongin:

felixie: pls don't make this group chat toxic, i litraly just made it :(

Jeongin: yeah and all we've done so far is accuse people of stealing (toxic), fight over jisung (toxic) and talk about glee (toxic)

Jeongin: not really off to a great start :/

felixie: ...ohmygod youre right

Jeongin: of course I am ^_^

Jeongin: I can never be wrong

sungie: omg jeongking!

felixie: OMG

felixie set Jeongin's name to Jeongking

felixie: look i even let u keep your capital letter! :D

felixie: same with seungmin!!

Seungtana: I appreciate that, thanks Felix

Mingo: Jisung still hasn't tagged himself as a character

Mingo: And Chan, but I don't think he's here right now

Changbin: Chan fell asleep when he was making music earlier

Mingo: How do you know?

Changbin: We're dating and we live together

Changbin: We're literally in the same room right now

Minho: Ah ok

sungie: i wanna be brittany! :D

felixie: because youre dumb but actually a genius?

sungie: no

sungie: because i, too, am in love with santana

sungie: ajdfhdsdfhf this was not supposed to sound like i'm implying that i'm in love with seungmin!!

sungie: i mean that i love the actual santana, in the show

Seungtana: You sure? ;)

sungie: HJSDGFHSAFADH HE FLIRTS!!!

sungie: WITH ME!!!

felixie: yes sungie, we can all see that

Jeongking: go seungmin!

hyunbro: I mean brittany and santana date in the show

hyunbro: It only makes sense for you two to start dating irl ;)

sungie: ajdhfdsgdhfgd

Seungtana: This is the second person I'm getting told to date today, what's up with that?

felixie: u all thikn i made this gc to find my water bottle

felixie: secretly it was so i can play matchmaker (^_–)

Mingo: That wink face is the ugliest smiley I've ever seen, I love it!

Jeongking: felix, you realize that it's not a secret if you tell us about it, right?

felixie: :((

felixie: anyway im gonna need yall to start dating so that i can feel like ive actually accomplished something in my life 😔

sungie: bro u have accomplished plenty of things!!

felixie: sorry i forgot to put the /j

felixie: and ajskdfhsjhf i know i have!! im just being dramatic

felixie: but you could still start dating? maybe? ;)

Seungtana: You mean me and Minho, or me and Jisung?

felixie: yes ^_^

sungie: if this is how were gonna make our life decisions, then felix should also start dating hyunjin

sungie: its only fair

hyunbro: asjhfd ???

felixie: hyuni is cool, i like hyuni

hyunbro: b r o ???

felixie: ily hyuni ^O^

hyunbro: ajhsdfjgd ???

hyunbro: ily2 <3

felixie: ok so

felixie: change of topic

felixie: i was trying to make a pun with the words witch, werewolf and fae

felixie: but i cant find a way to fit "witch" into it :(

Jeongking: rip

Seungtana: What are you making the pun for?

felixie: this chat name! :D

felixie set the chat name to were fae-riends!

sungie: omg!!

Jeongking: wait I don't get it?

felixie: were, as in we are

felixie: or as in were-wolf! so there's a double meaning! :D

felixie: and fae-riends because it sounds like friends

felixie: so it either means "we are friends" or "werewolf faerie friends"!

Jeongking: ooh

Seungtana: I guess Jeongin and I just have to leave the group chat, then

Seungtana: Since we're witches

Seungtana: Wait, you were the other witch, right?

Jeongking: yup

sungie: noo don't leave < / 3

felixie: im trying to come up with a name that has "witch" in it but idk :(

hyunbro: "were fae-riends, witches"

hyunbro: so it sounds like "we're friends, bitches"

hyunbro: but we say witches instead of bitches!

felixie: OMG THATS BRILLIANT HYUNI YOURE A GENIUS!!

hyunbro: ajdshfsd

felixie set the chat name to were fae-riends, witches!

sungie: you are accomplishing so much with your life lix! ^_^

felixie: oh yeah definitely

felixie: lmao

Chapter Text

7:23 am

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

felixie: monirngs are CANCELED if i hear the word good morning i will SCREAM if oyu look at me i will CRY

Mingo: *words

felixie: what?

Mingo: You should have said words, not word

Mingo: "if i hear the word good morning i will scream" should have been "if i hear the words good morning i will scream"

Mingo: Since good morning is two words :)

felixie: no, stop

felixie: go back to bed youre hurting all my feelings >:(

Mingo: I love the implication that it would be possible to hurt only some of your feelings

Mingo: But no, I hurt ALL of your feelings

felixie: yes yore hurting every single one of my feelings!!

Mingo: yore

felixie: its too early to type stfu you little menace ily

Mingo: ...was "ily" a typo or did you actually mean to say that immediately after telling me to shut the fuck up?

felixie: meant it

felixie: dont want u to think i dont like you just because i hate you <3

Mingo: Felix, that makes no sense

felixie: stu youre hurting all my feelings ahain >:(

Mingo: stu = "shut the up"

Mingo: I think you missed a letter there, lix

felixie: maybe thats exatctly what i meant to say!!! yu dont know that!!!

Mingo: Mhm yeah okay

Seungtana: Welcome back to being awake!

felixie: hi seungmin

felixie: why didnt u just say good morning like a normal person...?

Seungtana: Because you literally started this conversation by saying that if someone says good morning, you will scream

felixie: OH RIGHT i did do that!! lol

felixie: thanks for respecting my feelings

felixie: unlike SOME people here 🙄

Mingo: Why are you even awake so early? I thought you didn't have any morning classes

felixie: true! but late last night i managed to convince myself that im a morning person

felixie: and for a few glorious moments, i really was a morning person

felixie: because technically 2 am is early in the morning and i was awake at that time!!

felixie: then i went to bed and woke up and realised i was Wrong

Seungtana: You were a morning person... late at night??

felixie: technically very early in the mornig!! but yeah pretty much

felixie: so when it was 2 am i decided to book a dance studio at 8

felixie: wich is soon < / 3

hyunbro: R.I.P. felix <3

hyunbro: and welcome back to being awake!! i am also going to the dance studios soon

felixie: oh no

felixie: at least we can rip together then

hyunbro: yes <3

felixie: but why is everyone else awake right now?? (by everyone else i mean seungmin and minho)

felixie: weirdos :/

Seungtana: I don't think you're legally allowed to call us weirdos when you're literally doing the exact same thing

felixie: i am group chat admin so LEGALLY i can do whateevr i want

felixie: u cant stop me!!

Mingo: I have an early lecture

felixie: oh rip minho

Mingo: I don't mind, it's nice waking up early sometimes

felixie: i respect ur opinions but i disagree <3

Mingo: *opinion

Mingo: It was a singular opinion, so you should have said opinion :)

felixie: shut the up!!! youre hurting ALL my feelings!!!!

Mingo: Does it bother you when I correct your writing btw? As a joke or seriously

Mingo: You're making jokes but I just want to make sure

felixie: awww thats so sweat minho ily and no it doesnt bother me lmao <3

felixie: i know i spell things wrong but its just bc i type fast and cant be bohred to fix it lol

felixie: i type a sentence, i see the spelling mistake, and then i ignore the spelling mistake ^_^

hyunbro: its not even that bad tho?

Seungtana: This isn't an english essay, you can spell however you want here

felixie: random but its really funny to text jisung when hes tired cause all his sentences look like keyboard smashes lmao

felixie: ive seen him text when hes super tired and he actually does it with his eyes closed

hyunbro: LMAO

Seungtana: Sounds chaotic

felixie: it is! lol

felixie: anyway i gtg, the dance studio wont unlock itself, sadly 😔

Seungtana: Okay! Talk to you later!

felixie: bai ^.^

12:44 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

sungie: HEY so i realized that jeongin has no idea who most people here are

sungie: i tried to explain it but it became confusing when i got to minho and seungmin, cause i don't know you guys irl

Jeongking: you didn't realize shit, i was the one who realized this! >:(

sungie: eh whatever

sungie: my poiint remains

Seungtana: Hi my name is Seungmin I'm 19 and I never fuckin learned how to read

sungie: I LOVE YOU

Jeongking: omfg

Jeongking: jisung, you can't just tell someone you've never met that you love them!

sungie: BUT HE MADE A VINE REFERENCE!! I LOVE HIM!!

Seungtana: Lol

Seungtana: But I'm not actually 19

Seungtana: I'm a sophomore and a photography major! Not sure what else there is to say about myself

Jeongking: and you're a witch

Seungtana: Yeah

Jeongking: great! thanks for the introduction!

Jeongking: and how do you know felix??

Jeongking: just wondering since he made this gc

Seungtana: I have psych with Hyunjin, and Hyunjin is friends with Felix

Seungtana: I don't actually know Felix much, only through Hyunjin

felixie: tbh im not sure how i got your number??

hyunbro: I think I texted him from your phone once

felixie: ajdfhs okay

felixie: but i have hung out with seungmin before!! ^_^

Jeongking: ok cool! what about minho? who is he?

felixie: he dances with me and hyuni! :D

Mingo: Yup

Mingo: We had a dance project last year where they took one dance major from every year and put together in a group

Mingo: one senior, one junior, one sophomore and one freshman

Mingo: So I got paired with Hyunjin, Felix and a girl who graduated last year, and we made a choreography together

Jeongking: fun!

Jeongking: i already feel like i know you both much better ^_^

Seungtana: What about you? How do you know Felix?

Jeongking: through jisung

Jeongking: ji is my roommate and he knows felix, and they hang out in our dorm a lot

Seungtana: Ah I see

Jeongking: great! now we all know each other super well ^_^

Bang Chan: Not really...?

Jeongking: thats so fanastic

Jeongking: oh hi bang chan! welcome!

Bang Chan: Hi! Thank you! :)

Jeongking: and since we're all CLEARLY so close with each other, we could play the newlyweds game!

Seungtana: I literally found out that you existed a few days ago

Jeongking: yeah! we're practically married already!

Jeongking: but i think we should make pairings of people who don't know each other at all

sungie: NO BUT IT WOULD BE SO FUNNY IF CHAN & CHANGBIN PLAY TOGETHER!!

Jeongking: don't they already know each other??

sungie: yeah they're dating!! that's why it would be fun!!

sungie: imagine the chaos when one of them gets a question wrong

Jeongking: oooh you make a good point

Bang Chan: But Binnie is in class and I have a lecture soon :(

Jeongking: that's ok! we can play tonight :)

Bang Chan: Tbh I'm fine with that

Bang Chan: It could be fun!

Jeongking: let's make pairings?

sungie: pair 1 - bang chan & changbin

Jeongking: wait maybe we should only make pairings that know each other?

Jeongking: to make it fair

sungie: it's not a competition though

Seungtana: I know Hyunjin and kind of Felix

Seungtana: But I don't really wanna date either of them

Jeongking: it's just a game, it's not like you're gonna have to date fr

Jeongking: or get married

Jeongking: unless...? ;)

sungie: seungmin could be with me! :D

Jeongking: or he could be with hyunjin and then you could be with felix

sungie: EWWWW

sungie: WTF

sungie: WHY WOULD I BE WITH FELIX??????

Jeongking: wait what the fuck is up with this reaction, i thought you two were best friends???

Seungtana: ...is there something going on between Jisung and Felix?

sungie: OHMYGOD NOOOO

sungie: THAT WOULD BE INCEST!!!!!

Jeongking: wAIT

Seungtana: You're related to Felix???

sungie: HE'S LITERALLY MY BROTHER OMFG

Jeongking: WHAT??

Mingo: Really?

Seungtana: Are you twins????

sungie: HOW DID NONE OF YOU KNOW THIS OMG

sungie: WE'RE BROTHERS!! HAVE BEEN OUR ENTIRE LIFES!!!

Jeongking: but you don't look similar?

Jeongking: and how can you be in the same school year then? your mom must have given birth twice in one year

sungie: FIRST OF ALL, TWINS EXIST!

sungie: SECOND, ADOPTION ALSO EXISTS!

sungie: ADOPTION, JEONGIN

Jeongking: OOOOOH

Seungtana: So... are you twins?

sungie: nah, the hospital had a "buy one, get one free" offer

felixie: no jisung is my stunt double

sungie: okay but seriously, most people actually call us twins, because felix was born september 15th and i was born september 14th!

felixie: hi everyone :D

felixie: are we exposing our origin story?

sungie: felix!!! they didn't know we're related!!!

felixie: WHAT

hyunbro: YEAH CAUSE YOU NEVER TOLD US???

felixie: I LITERALLY TALKED ABOUT MY BROTHER SOOOO MANY TIMES WITH YOU AND MINHO???

Mingo: You never mentioned him by name!

Jeongking: jisung, you never said that your brother went to the same college when you talked about him!!

Jeongking: and you literally introduced felix as your best friend the first time he came over!!

sungie: okay MAYBE that one is on me (but that's a BIG maybe!!) but i DO remember that we talked about me being an honorary fae a few days ago

sungie: and felix mentioned that him and i grew up together

sungie: so like??? you should have connected the dots???

hyunbro: oKAY BUT CONSIDER THIS:

hyunbro: i am dumb

felixie: tbh that's valid

Mingo: Felix, you always just said "my brother" and never called him by his name

felixie: yes i did??

felixie: after we made this group chat i started saying "jisung" instead

Mingo: Yeah but you never made it clear that it was the same person!!

hyunbro: eactly!!!

hyunbro: I thought you just stopped talking about your brother!!!!

felixie: OMFG

sungie: this is the best misunderstanding of my life

Jeongking: okay but did ANYONE here know that you two are related???

Bang Chan: Binnie and I knew

Bang Chan: But to be fair, we've known Ji since before college

felixie: yeah and uve hung out with me and jisung a bunch of times

sungie: you've also met our mother

sungie: so if you and binnie didn't realize we were related, i would actually be upset lol

Seungtana: Tbh this isn't very surprising since I've never spent much time with either of you irl

hyunbro: I AM LIVID

hyunbro: BRB I have to go aND QUESTION REALITY NOW

felixie: lmao hyuni

Jeongking: okay so you two are brothers

Jeongking: almost twins but adopted

Jeongking: woah, okay

felixie: technically we're changelings!

Jeongking: wait WHAT

Jeongking: pls dont make this any more complicated, my brain is already crying

sungie: LMAO MOOD

felixie: it's okay, we can save the full story for another time! ^_^

Jeongking: its ok

Jeongking: I'll be back later tonight to play the newlyweds game, but until then

Jeongking: rip all of our brains

hyunbro: second that ^^

sungie: lmfao

Chapter Text

6:16 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

Jeongking: theydies and gentlethems!

Jeongking: https://onefabday.com/newlywed-game-questions/

Jeongking: i have decided that i will not be playing this game because it's more fun to have full control over my friends suffering

Bang Chan: Sounds pleasant :/

Jeongking: I am joking!! except for the fact that I really will be the mc ^_^

Changbin: So how did you make the pairings? That means someone will be alone

Mingo: Both Felix and Hyunjin are in the dance studio right now

Mingo: They're gonna stay there for a few more hours so I don't think they'll be looking at their phones

Jeongking: oh

Jeongking: my plan was for the dancers to be a trio, but ok! we can change it!

Bang Chan: Am I still gonna be with Binnie?

Jeongking: yup ^_^

Bang Chan: Nice!

Jeongking: and sungie, minho and seungmin will be a trio! because it's the only option right now, since the others aren't here lol

sungie: UNHOLY TRINITY

Seungtana: Oh right!

Mingo: Unholy trinity!!

Changbin: So how does this game actually work? We answer questions about each other?

Jeongking: yup ^_^

Jeongking: I'll ask the questions to one couple (or throuple) at a time!

Jeongking: and I'll make it really clear who's supposed to answer the question and all that, so don't worry

Bang Chan: Okay! Sounds good!

Jeongking: I won't be keeping scores or anything since chanchang already know each other

Jeongking: meanwhile jisung, minho and seungmin have literally never met befoer lmao

sungie: i would like to apologize in advance for my answers

Seungtana: Don't worry, I don't think any of us will do well on this

Mingo: Yeah you're fine

sungie: ^o^

Jeongking: ok! game start!

Jeongking: CHANGBIN, what did BANG CHAN wear on your first date?

Changbin: I'm not even sure what counts as our first date?

Changbin: Because when we confessed to each other in the music studio, we said that could count as a date, but it's not like we asked each other out there?

Jeongking: okay, but what was BANG CHAN wearing that day in the music studio?

Changbin: Black clothes

Changbin: A hoodie

Changbin: Idk I wasn't thinking about clothes???

Bang Chan: To be fair, I don't know either, but the all black is probably right

Jeongking: ok i guess you can get half a point

Changbin: I thought you said you weren't keeping score????

Jeongking: yeah I lied

Jeongking: anyway! moving on! :)

Jeongking: JISUNG, who is the better kisser between the three of you?

sungie: i've never kissed myself???

sungie: OR minho or seungmin????

Mingo: Go with your heart ;)

Seungtana: I won't be offended if you say Minho, it's not like we've tried kissing each other before

sungie: uhm okay

sungie: then i'll say myself ^_^

Minho: hEARTBREAK

Seungtana: < / 3

sungie: YOU JUST SAID YOU WOULDN'T BE OFFENDED IF I DIDN'T PICK YOU!!!!

Jeongking: Moving on! ^_^

Jeongking: that question was subjective so there's no right or wrong answer, which means you get 1 point automatically!

Changbin: hEY THIS GAME IS RIGGED!!!

Jeongking: yeah I know, that's literally the point

Jeongking: next question!

Jeongking: BANG CHAN, which disney character is CHANGBIN most like?

Bang Chan: Tinker bell

sungie: oh wow that was fast...

Mingo: Damn, he had that answer ready to go

Changbin: This is the first time I'm hearing this, but I guess Tinker bell is pretty? So that's nice?

Jeongking: oh okay

Jeongking: BANG CHAN, explain why?

Bang Chan: Reason 1: is tiny

Bang Chan: Reason 2: needs attention or dies

Changbin: okay whT THE FUCK THIS IS A PERSONAL ATTACK!!!!!

Jeongking: LMFAO

Jeongking: I like that answer! You get 1 point!

Seungtana: Is anyone writing down these points?

Jeongking: no.

Jeongking: next question! ^_^

Jeongking: MINHO, what are JISUNG'S and SEUNGMIN'S zodiac signs?

Mingo: Jisung is a virgo

sungie: :0

sungie: how do you know??

Mingo: You told us your birthday before

sungie: oh

sungie: right

sungie: i did do that!

sungie: omg you remembered!!

Mingo: Yeah yeah

Mingo: I have no idea about Seungmin but he gives me libra vibes so I'll just say libra

Jeongking: well you get 1 point for jisung's zodiac sign!! and idk about seungmin

Seungtana: I'm also a virgo

Seungtana: But to be fair, I was born september 22nd so you were only one day off when you thought libra

Mingo: Oh nice!

sungie: minho what's your zodiac sign?

sungie: i just wanna know for fun :]

Mingo: I'm a scorpio

sungie: oooh!

Jeongking: oh cool!

Jeongking: minho's guess was close but I can't give any points for being close, I give points for being RIGHT

sungie: lmfao innieee

Jeongking: next question! ^_^

Jeongking: CHANGBIN, which one of you has the best tiddies?

Changbin: I am willing to bet my entire life that question isn't on the list you sent us

Jeongking: tough luck

Jeongking: I make the rules now and I am asking you this question!

Bang Chan: It's okay, I won't be upset if you pick yourself <3

Changbin: Can I pick both of us?

Jeongking: no that's an instant disqualification

Changbin: FOR WHAT???

Jeongking: for refusing to follow the rules!

Jeongking: just gimme an answer!!

Changbin: Okay FINE

Changbin: I'll say Channie

Bang Chan: Awww thank you <333

Bang Chan: I think it's you! <3

Changbin: <333

Jeongking: that's disgusting

Jeongking: you get -1 point for public displays of affection

Jeongking: and you couldn't agree on the answer which means that changbin was wrong, and you're not getting any points for this question!!

Changbin: JEONGIN YOU CAN'T DO THAT!!!

Jeongking: are you

Jeongking: changbin, are you questioning my integrity as a judge right now?? are you questioning my morality?? my sense of justice??

Jeongking: you should consider yourself lucky that I'm not instantly disqualifying you right this second, mister!!

Jeongking: I am UPSET and OFFENDED that you would ever make such accusations against me!!

sungie: omfg

Jeongking: moving on! ^_^

Jeongking: SEUNGMIN, which one of you said "I love you" first?

sungie: isn't that an impossible question? we're not in love

Seungtana: It was Jisung

sungie: WHAT

Seungtana: You yelled it at me in all caps after I made a vine reference

Seungtana: Remember?

sungie: OOOH RIGHT! i did do that!

Mingo: I can't believe you only said it to seungin < / 3

sungie: minho i love you!! ^o^

Mingo: !!!

Mingo: love you too <3

sungie: <333

Jeongking: okay that was disgusting

Jeongking: -1 point for public displays of affection

Jeongking: but also +1 points because seungmin got the question right!

Changbin: THIS IS SO UNFAIR

Bang Chan: It's okay Binnie, it's just a game, it doesn't matter

Jeongking: moving on!

Jeongking: BANG CHAN, what is CHANGBIN'S worst habit?

sungie: CAN I ANSWER THIS???

Changbin: Jisung NO, he didn't ask you!!

Jeongking: as much as I would love to hear your answer, the question was for BANG CHAN

Jeongking: (but I really would love to hear your answer)

Bang Chan: Bold of you to assume Changbin has any bad habits

Changbin: Awww <3

Jeongking: well jisung just said that he does, which means that you're lying to me right now!

Jeongking: but that's okay, I will give you One (1) final chance to correct your answer

Jeongking: now I will repeat the question

Jeongking: BANG CHAN, what is CHANGBIN'S worst habit?

Bang Chan: ...

Changbin: I feel personally targeted by this entire game

Jeongking: it's okay, you can tell me bang chan's worst habit after!

Changbin: omg okay! Thanks!

Jeongking: ^o^

Bang Chan: What the fuck

Bang Chan: Okay, Changbin's worst habit (according to me) is when he refuses to listen

Changbin: I never do that???

Bang Chan: Oh really?

Bang Chan: Last week in the kitchen, when I asked you to peel the potatoes and you said "you're not the boss of me"????

Changbin: That was ONE time, it doesn't prove anything!

Bang Chan: A few days ago when I asked you to take out the trash because you were the only one who had clothes on and you said "do it yourself"?

Bang Chan: Or last night, when I was eating ice cream and asked if you wanted some, you said "Sorry, I can't hear you over the sound of my own GENIUS"

Bang Chan: And then I found out that you had put febreeze in our air purifier

Bang Chan: The whole apartment still stinks, by the way

Jeongking: OMFG LMAOOO

sungie: go off king!! expose his ass!!

Changbin: oH REALLY

Changbin: I admit that MAYBE I did do all those things, but consider this!

Changbin: You say "just one more minute" and then HOURS pass and you still haven't done whatever I asked you to do!!

Changbin: And you say you'll do something "soon" but then you never do it!!

Mingo: This really sounds like something you should be talking about in couple's therapy or something :|

Bang Chan: That's because I get distracted and forget about it, but it's not like I do it to annoy you!

Changbin: Okay I get that, and I don't like being told what to do, which is why it maybe seems like I don't listen to you!

Changbin: But I hear what you're saying and to be fair, most times I DO end up doing whatever you asked me for, it's just that I need to complain first

Bang Chan: Yeah I understand, and it honestly doesn't annoy me as much as I made it sound

Bang Chan: It's actually funny most of the time lol

Bang Chan: It's only when I'm really tired that it gets on my nerves, but I'm bad at telling you how I'm feeling so I can't expect you to change your behavior according to things I haven't told you about

Jeongking: ...this is such a mature conversation right now?? omg??

sungie: yeah i know, it feels illegal to interrupt them

Changbin: I'm sorry for that and I will try to do better in the future

Bang Chan: Thank you, and I'm sorry too

Bang Chan: I'll try to be better about when you ask me to do something, and not let it go hours before getting around to it!

Changbin: It's okay, I shouldn't interrupt you when you're working

Changbin: I know how easy it is to get caught up in making music

Bang Chan: Thank you! <3

Jeongking: omg

Jeongking: okay

Jeongking: you're done?

Changbin: Yeah I think so

Bang Chan: Yeah!

Jeongking: okaay

Jeongking: +2 points because you were both really honest and this was very interesting to watch

Jeongking: do you still wanna play?

Bang Chan: Maybe another time?

Changbin: Yeah I have something very urgent I need to do now

sungie: making out with chan? ;)

Changbin: Jisung, ta gueule

sungie: LMAOOO

Seungtana: What does that mean? Why did he suddenly switch language?

sungie: it means "shut up" in french lmfao

sungie: binnie learned how to say "shut up" in a bunch of different languages because he got tired of saying it to me in english! lol

sungie: so now he says it in random languages instead!

Mingo: Ooh that sounds fun!

Jeongking: lmao okay

Jeongking: bye everyone! have fun doing the urgent things, changbin!

Changbin: Oh I will ;)

sungie: BRO

Changbin: ;p

sungie: :/

Chapter Text

10:59 am

memes n schemes (private chat)

felixie: YO i am formally inviting you to bring my water bottle to the dance studio right now!!!

sungie: this sounds more like a request than an invitation tbh

felixie: yeah but

felixie: minho and hyunjin are here

felixie: so u could meet minho! :D

sungie: ???? bro

felixie: aren't u guys married or soemthing

felixie: i know i missed the game yesterday but i just KNOW u guys were paired together!!

sungie: yeah of course you know that!! i told u when we saw each other last night!!!

felixie: yeah! so you should meet your husband!

sungie: but strangers are terrifying????

felixie: okay but is minho REALLY a stranger to you?

sungie: YES???

felixie: okay but consider this!

felixie: if you meet him today, he won't be a stranger anymore! :D

felixie: and also i was serious about the water bottle

felixie: i really need it

sungie: what you NEED is to keep better track of your water bottle u absolute dumbass

felixie: pls sungie i gotta have it! ' 3 '

sungie: at this point i feel like this waterbottle is gonna become like a codeword or something

sungie: like, a codeword for matchmaking or whatever

sungie: i still can't believe you're bringing people together over a WATER BOTTLE

felixie: hey dont disrespect the water bottle like this!!! it's the reason i made the gc!!!

sungie: that's exactly the point i'm trying to make :/

felixie: ok WHATEVER just bring it here

felixie: if u dont wanna talk to minho, you could just stand creepily outside the door and i'll get it from you

sungie: thank you!

11:00 pm

Least annoying guy in psych (private chat)

Hyunjin: Hi! do you mind stopping by the dance studio like, right now?

Hyunjin: I just found out that Lix invited Sungie here, which means that you could meet both Minho and Sungie at the same time!

Seungmin: Not that I don't want to, but why?

Hyunjin: I just thought that maybe you want to meet more people from the group chat

Hyunjin: Also I have the notebook that you forgot in class so you kinda have to come over lol

Seungmin: Okay, I'll be there

Hyunjin: Nice! :D

Hyunjin: we're in room 325

Hyunjin: I don't know how to introduce you to Chan and Changbin, and I've never met Jeongin, so you'll have to solve that on your own :p

Seungmin: I mean, we haven't had the group chat for very long, I don't think we're in a rush

Hyunjin: then why did you get married to Minho and Sungie yesterday???

Seungmin: I didn't?

Hyunjin: oh

Hyunjin: But you played the newlyweds game with them

Seungmin: Yeah, and it was fun

Hyunjin: so?? marriage???

Seungmin: No

Seungmin: I'll see you soon!

Hyunjin: ok :(

1:34 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

sungie: HEY

sungie: minho and seungmin!

sungie:

Changbin: Are you apologizing for the game yesterday?

sungie: no i just met them both face to face!! that's what i'm apologizing for!

Changbin: oh my god???

Seungtana: Jisung you don't have to apoligize ahhah!

Seungtana: You were even more cute in real life than you've been over message, which was impressive since you've already been very cute

sungie: ajhadsfdhgjs

Mingo: Second that ;)

sungie: i was an awkward mess??

sungie: even more so because i found out that minho is H O T

sungie: and seungmin looks like the handsome male lead in a drama!

felixie: omg sungie

Seungtana: Ahah thank you!

Mingo: Honestly I agree with the drama actor thing

Mingo: And thank you ;)

hyunbro: ok so when's the marriage?

Seungtana: What difference does it make to you?

Seungtana: You're not invited

hyunbro: gASP!!!!!!!!!!

sungie: lmfaooo

hyunbro: ME??? NOT INVITED TO MY CLOSEST FRIENDS' WEDDING?????

Mingo: Are we really your closest friends

hyunbro: THIS IS A HATE CRIME!!!!

sungie: it literally is not

hyunbro: YOU'RE ALL HOMOPHOBIC AND I WILL NEVER FORGIVE THIS BETRAYAL!!!

Seungtana: We are talking about a GAY marriage, hyunjin :/

hyunbro: JUST BECAUSE I'M GAY DOESN'T MEAN I CAN'T BE HOMOPHOBIC!!

hyunbro: wait no that's the wrong way aorund

hyunbro: JUST BECAUSE YOU'RE GAY DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN'T BE HOMOPHOBIC!!

Seungtana: If I'm gay and I hate myself, is that homophobia?

hyunbro: ...bro

Seungtana: Just kidding! I'm not gay

hyunbro: i-

hyunbro: i'm friends with a straight person????

Seungtana: Hyunjin

Seungtana: I am positive that we have talked about coming out before

Seungtana: And I promise you that I did not come out as straight

hyunbro: oh GOOD! I thought I was gonna have to platonically break up with you for a second there lmao

Seungtana: I'm not gay but I'm bi

sungie: ooh i'm pan! :D

Mingo: Oh cool! None of us are gay then

Mingo: I gave up on labels but I am also queer ;)

Mingo: Sometimes I use gay as an umbrella term but I'm not homosexual

sungie: nice!! :D

sungie: our imaginary gay marriage doesn't actually have any gays in it! that's so cool!

Seungtana: Wait Hyunjin, you would stop being friends with someone if they were straight????

hyunbro: that was a joke, but I really appreciate the time it took you to understand and react to that lol

hyunbro: I have straight friends!!

felixie: omg who??

hyunbro: well!!

hyunbro: there's

hyunbro: uuh

hyunbro: I'm sure I have straight friends

hyunbro: YEJI!!

felixie: her instagram feed has all the colors of the pan prideflag, try again

hyunbro: FUCK

hyunbro: okay

hyunbro: ummm

hyunbro: there's

hyunbro: OH! that girl we danced with!!

hyunbro: kim lip!

felixie: bro she is literally a lesbian, her girlfriend was at the last showcase

hyunbro: FUCK

hyunbro: okay

hyunbro: seonghwa?

felixie: has a boyfriend

hyunbro: wtf okay

hyunbro: um

hyunbro: i dont know a lot of people

hyunbro: that girl in your class? chaeryeong?

felixie: how well do you actually know her

felixie: anyway she's gay

hyunbro: okay FUCK

hyunbro: I dont know anyone else

hyunbro: ok I give up

hyunbro: straight peopel?? I don't know any!

felixie: LMAO

sungie: i used to know some straight people in freshman year

sungie: they no longer identify as straight

felixie: LMAO!!

Seungtana: That's what happens when you go to a fine arts school

sungie: you become lgbtq+???

Seungtana: No you start questioning yourself

Seungtana: Like, even the straight people I've met here are very open to changing their label later

sungie: oh true!! yeah i agree with that

felixie: i think it's just that it's a very open and accepting place so people aren't as scared of trying different things

felixie: not that being gay is an expermient jhdfgss but it's just that people recognize that you don't have to know!

felixie: and you might realize later that another label fits better!

sungie: yeah ^_^

Mingo: So basically what I'm hearing is that art school is gay

felixie: sure!

felixie: that's the most important takeaway here /j

Seungtana: It's not that art school is gay, it's just that gay people go to art school

felixie: the gays need an education too!!

felixie: i'm sure there are a lot of science gays and other shit, but art is where its AT!

hyunbro: wow, everyone here is so smart

sungie: not really :/

hyunbro: yeah :/

Chapter Text

3:49 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

sungie: BRO i cant believe you didn't warn me that minho and seungmin are attractive!!!

felixie: does it matter lol

felixie: u told me you're not interested in dating bc of ~reasons~

felixie: aka you are ~cursed~

felixie: so why does it matter that they're attractive

sungie: my resolve not to date is CRUMBLING as we speak

felixie: are you saying you could ask them out? lmao

sungie: NO

sungie: but i could pine after them from a distance!

felixie: can't you still do that without breaking your promise to not date?

sungie: yeah you're right! ^_^

felixie: and i actualy think it's stupid that you're not dating

felixie: at least your reason is stupid

felixie: i totally respect people who don't wanna date, but this reason? Not Valid

sungie: bro :(

felixie: i also think it's stupid that you still haven't told chan and changbin about the fact that you're cursed and that you're gonna have to return to the faerie realm before the schoolyear is over

felixie: they care about you

felixie: i know i pretend that it bothers me, but it's actually cute that they call you pup and consider you a part of their pack even though you're human

sungie: yeah i know

felixie: what do you think would happen if you told them?

sungie: they would be upset that i didn't tell them earlier

sungie: then they would probably try to fix it, which would be a waste of time because there's no way to cure this curse, i'm just gonna have to go to the faerie realm when the time comes and hope that i can figure out some way to leave

sungie: then they would spend the rest of the year being anxious and counting down the days until i have to disappear from their lives indefinitely

sungie: so no, i'm not going to tell them, because that's not how i want to spend my last few months of freedom

felixie: keeping this from them won't stop it from happening

sungie: i KNOW that felix

sungie: but telling them isn't going to change anything

felixie: you realize that by keeping this from them, you're forcing me to tell them, right?

felixie: because me and mom are the only ones who know, and i doubt they'll go to mom first

felixie: they're gonna ask me where you went and then i will have to explain it to them

felixie: and jisung, you realize that this is heartbreaking to me too, right??

felixie: im going to mis u so umch

felixie: FUCK im crying

sungie: felix i know! i know, and i'm sorry, i wish i could stay

sungie: i won't force you to tell them! i'll find a way to do it myself

sungie: i can leave a letter or somethnig, or maybe i can tell them the day before

sungie: i don't want to put that on you and i'm not going to

felixie: good

sungie: and i promise that once your birth parents call me to the faerie realm, i will try my best to find a way to leave as soon as possible!

felixie: and what if there's no way???

felixie: you're bound to them by faerie law

felixie: the fact that they let you leave the first time was already shocking, i don't think they'll let you go again

sungie: yeah but i was an infant the first time, this time i'll actually be able to think for myself

felixie: FUCK

felixie: i'm just sad about this

sungie: i know baby

sungie: wanna come over and cuddle?

felixie: i thought you'd never ask ;-;

sungie: i'll unlock my door <3

felixie: <3

5:07 pm

sungie added Mingo and Seungtana to a group chat!

sungie set the chat name to Unholy trinity!

sungie: seungmin already has a good name but we need more punny names!

Mingo: I don't think there's a good way to mash my name up with Quinn

Mingo: Quinnho is the best option, and it sucks

sungie: eh, i'll take it

sungie set Mingo's name to Quinnho

sungie set their name to Jittany

Jittany: this isn't very good either, but the other option was brittsung

Seungtana: I like Brittsung more

Jittany: oh okay! :D

Jittany set their name to Brittsung

Brittsung: there! ^_^

Brittsung: now we all have names that look absolutely awful!

Brittsung: except seungmin, because seungtana actually looks good

Seungtana: Thanks! I think so too

Brittsung: i actually didn't only create this group chat so we can make glee references tho

Brittsung: i had fun seeing you guys yesterday and i wouldn't mind seeing u again!

Brittsung: maybe without felix and hyunjin narrating everything this time...

Quinnho: Ah yeah, their commentary was NOT satisfactory

Seungtana: I would like to see you again, too!

Brittsung: ^o^

Quinnho: I could probably meet up any day except Fridays

Seungtana: How about Wednesday?

Seungtana: I only have one lecture on Wednesdays

Brittsung: omg yeah! and we should all wear pink

Quinnho: Huh??

Seungtana:

Quinnho: Is that from a movie or something

Brittsung: omg you've never seen mean girls???

Brittsung: we should watch a movie ogetehr

Seungtana: We should watch mean girls together!

Quinnho: Sure, I'm down for that

Quinnho: What time on wednesday?

Brittsung: 6 pm? we could order food or something while watching

Seungtana: Works for me!

Quinnho: Yeah that sounds like a plan ;)

Seungtana: ...why do you put winks in sentences where winks really aren't necessary?

Quinnho: For the acethetic ;)

Seungtana: What does winks have to do with being ace???

Quinnho: Tbh I don't know how to spell the real word lol and I just like how winks look

Quinnho: But yeah I am also ace, so it works ;)

Brittsung:

Seungtana: Oh I have a meme!

Seungtana: I originally saved it to show Hyunjin but here you go

Seungtana:

Quinnho: lol

Brittsung: but 6 pm on wednesday! :D

Brittsung: we could be in my dorm if youre okay with that?

Seungtana: Yeah! Just send us your room number

Quinnho: Sounds good ;)

Brittsung: oki! it's a plan ^o^

Chapter Text

8:39 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

sungie: ok so i have several news

sungie: first of all, i'm starting a club

felixie: oh?

jisung: it's called L.I.V.E.

Changbin: Does that stand for anything?

sungie: yes!

sungie: L.I.V.E. (Love It Very Ever)

felixie: ...that makes absolutely no sense

sungie: pls be nice, i came up with it on the spot

sungie: it didn't have a meaning at all until i sent that message!!

Jeongking: Live It Very Extra! ^_^

Mingo: Like I Very Eh

felixie: ...no one here is making sense

felixie: why are you staring a club? what is it for?

sungie: i'm actually starting a club with minho and seungmin, so all three of us are the leaders for the club!

sungie: and the rest of you guys are members! :D

Changbin: I want to leave the club

sungie: impossible

sungie: you can't leave

Changbin: What if I die then? lol

sungie: even in death, you can be a member of this club!

sungie: so that won't work ^_^

felixie: okay but what is the club for?

sungie: to be a member of this club, you must be three things

sungie: 1. Kind

sungie: 2. Cool

sungie: 3. Sexy

felixie: i want to leave the club

Changbin: Yeah same

Changbin: Channie is working rn but I'm sure he also wants to leave too

sungie: guys!!! :(

Mingo: Hey, none of you are being very Kind and Cool and Sexy right now!

felixie: great

felixie: does that mean i'm getting kicked out?

Mingo: You're gonna make Jisung cry ;(

sungie: the tears are ready to be spilt ;-;

Mingo: Felix, do you really want to make Jisung cry?

Mingo: Can you bear that on your conscience?

felixie: OMG THIS IS BLACKMAIL OR SOMETHING!!!

Seungtana: Not blackmail, it's extortion

felixie: SAME SHIT!!!!

felixie: okay FINE i'll stay in your club!

sungie: oki great! ^o^

felixie: you said you have more news?

sungie: yes

sungie: just wait a few seconds

sungie: i forgot my other news

felixie: omfg

sungie: RIGHT it wasn't news actually, it was just that it would be hilarious if you guys took a buzzfeed quiz about which supernatural creature you are!!

felixie: oooh

Jeongking: omg that sounds fun! :D

hyunbro: do you have a link to a quiz or should we look it up?

sungie: i have several! ^o^

sungie: https://www.buzzfeed.com/annie676Paris/what-supernatural-creature-are-you-3mmkk

sungie: here's the first one!

Jeongking: omg

Mingo: I already took it and I got siren

Mingo: Which I guess isn't that far from fae, except they live in water and we live on land and they're two completely different species

sungie: ...yeah so that's pretty different from what you are irl

Seungtana: I got werewolf and I think that makes no sense

Seungtana: I am a WITCH

sungie: lmao

felixie: jisung what did you get?

sungie: chan and changbin are gonna be so upset lol

sungie: i got fairy

felixie: hELL YEAH I TOLD THEM YOU WERE AN HONORARY FAE!!!!

Changbin: THIS IS JUST A BUZZFEED QUIZ, IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING!!!!

sungie: ok ok no fighting!

sungie: what did you guys get? :D

felixie: dryad! which is kinda similar to fae so the quiz wasn't that far off! :D

Changbin: I got werewolf :)

sungie: ooh omg the quiz was right!!

Changbin: Yeah!

sungie: innie are u done with the quiz?

Jeongking: yup

Jeongking: and i got siren!

sungie: ooh nice! same as minho :D

sungie: hyunjin?

hyunbro: omg this quiz is amazing?? I also got werewolf

Changbin: Yo!!! This quiz is accurate

felixie: changbin

felixie: if you admit that this quiz is right, then you're also admitting that jisung is a fae

felixie: because that was his result

Changbin: NO

felixie: YES!!!

sungie: MOVING ON!!!!

sungie: i had another quiz!

sungie: https://www.buzzfeed.com/keelyflaherty/which-mythical-creature-are-you

felixie: heck yeah let's go!!

sungie: my result on this one was elf :p

Seungtana: I got fairy

Mingo: I got sphinx?

Mingo: Didn't know that was an option lol

Seungtana: Oh that's cool! I've never seen a real sphinx

sungie: ooh me neither!!

sungie: there aren't that many alive

Jeongking: I GOT MERPERSON

Jeongking: kinda cool tbh

hyunbro: I got centaur??

Jeongking: oh cool

Jeongking: the options on this quiz are more rare, I like it

hyunbro: yeah!

felixie: i also got centaur! :D

hyunbro: Omg soulmates! :D

felixie: soulmates!! <3

Changbin: hey I also got centaur!

hyunbro: Oh...

hyunbro: this quiz must be rigged then

Changbin: HEY!!!

felixie: it's ok changbin you can be a centaur with me and hyuni ^_^

Jeongking: I think the first quiz was better

Jeongking: the second one had more rare options, but the questions were easier on the first one

felixie: yeah i think youre right

sungie: i mean?? you're all supernaturals already so do your quiz results really matter?? lol

hyunbro: JISUNG

hyunbro: how DARE you disrespect the buzzfeed quizzes like this??? >:(

sungie: oh no i did't mean to disrespec the buzzfeed quiz!!!

hyunbro: Good! I sure hope you didn't 😤

sungie: but that's actually all i had for y'all today

sungie: welcome to the club! ^_^

felixie: first of all, this group chat was made WEEKS ago

felixie: second, you didn't even make it

sungie: well no, but i made the club!!

felixie: :/

9:54 pm

Unholy trinity! (3)

Brittsung: i'm bored and i just took another buzzfeed quiz and now i'm wondering if buzzfeed takes korean names into account or not?

Quinnho: Wdym

Brittsung: i took a quiz that told me my soulmate's initials but now i'm trying to decide which one is the family name

Brittsung: cause like, if we assume it's a korean name then it should be the first letter, right??

Brittsung: but if it's not korean, then the second letter would be the family name

Seungtana: You probably won't know until you meet your soulmate

Quinnho: Ooh what's your soulmate's initials? ;)

Brittsung: well the first letter is H

Brittsung: and i was just thinking that if i get married to someone and they take my name then their name would be Han which starts with H!

Quinnho: ooo

Seungtana: What was the second initial?

Brittsung: S

Quinnho: OOOH

Quinnho: Seungmin is your soulmate!!!

Seungtana: Oh?

Brittsung: seungmin if u married me then your initials could be H.S

Brittsung: and buzzfeed told me that my soulmate's initals are H.S! :D

Seungtana: Hey do you have a link for this quiz? I wanna take it

Brittsung: https://www.buzzfeed.com/urie_bowie_mercury0/answer-these-12-questions-and-well-tell-you-the-i-dkaw6xefdk

Quinnho: I'm taking it too!

Brittsung: oki! ^_^

Seungtana: Okay so

Seungtana: My result doesn't really fit if you think of it as first name, last name

Seungtana: But if you think of Korean, 3 syllable names, then this fits two of those syllables for you

Brittsung: ...what

Seungtana: I got J.S

Seungtana: As in, Ji Sung

Brittsung: OMG

Brittsung: SOULMATE BEHAVIOR!! <333

Seungtana: <3

Quinhho: Yo I also got H.S

Brittsung: OHMYGOSH

Brittsung: EVEN MORE SOULMATE BEHAVIOR!! <333

Quinnho: Lmao yeah! <3

Quinnho: And if we ignore the first syllable of your name, it could also be Han (ji) Sung

Brittsung: !!!

Seungtana: I have another soulmate quiz!

Brittsung: oooh send it pls!! :D

Seungtana: https://www.buzzfeed.com/robbyisready/plan-a-vacation-for-your-future-partner-and-yourse-c83hbjhow2

Brittsung: omg okay i'm taking it! :D

Quinnho: Me too ;)

Brittsung: OMG

Brittsung: I GOT SCORPIO! MY SOULMATE IS A SCORPIO!

Quinnho: Wait you're both virgos, right?

Seungtana: Yeah

Quinnho: Cause I got virgo on the quiz

Quinnho: ;)

Brittsung: afdghkjh what's up with this soulmate behavior??

Brittsung: seungmin what did u get?

Seungtana: I also got virgo!

Brittsung: omg that means both of you planned similar vacations cause u got the same result

Brittsung: more soulmate behavior!!!

Quinnho: This is so cool and sexy of us, I can't believe we got each other on all the soulmate quizzes ;)

Seungtana: Yeah!

Seungtana: Kinda change of topic, but I had fun hanging out with you guys earlier today

Brittsung: oh yeah i had fun too!!

Quinnho: It was nice

Quinnho: The movie was good but the company was better ;)

Brittsung: ajdshjfdg

Brittsung: i agree <3

Quinnho: I wouldn't mind seeing your dumb faces again /pos

Seungtana: Wanna have lunch together tomorrow?

Brittsung: yeah sure! :D

Brittsung: u should send me your schedules if u want, so i can #match us

Brittsung: if u wanna hang out more i mean

Quinnho: Definitely ;)

Seungtana: I'll send you a screenshot!

Brittsung: thank u ^_^

Quinnho: Hey I also want the screenshot

Quinnho: If you don't mind ;)

Seungtana: As long as you send me yours too ;)

sungie: afhdjgskgdsgs

sungie: seungmin is winking???

Quinnho: I can't wait until he starts winking at you, your panic is gonna go through the roof lmao

sungie: ajdsfhjs dont even

sungie: no

sungie: i will Pass Away if that happens

sungie: pls spare my weak heart lmao

Seungtana: I guess I can spare you today, I don't want you to pass away when I've only just gotten to know you :)

sungie: SJADHFDSGSAHGF

Quinnho: Damn he is smooth

Seungtana: Like butter ;)

sungie: OHMYGOD????

sungie: I THOUGHT WE WERE MAKING PLANS TO HANGOUT AGAIN?????

Quinnho: Yes we were! Lunch tomorrow?

Seungtana: Yeah! :)

sungie: adshfg

sungie: yes :]

Quinnho: Great! Sounds like a plan ;)

Chapter Text

6:14 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

felixie: ok so i was just informed by Reliable Sources™ (aka hyunjin the loml <3)

feliixe: that jisung, minho and seungmin are getting married and adopting golden retrivers and that they're moving to ireland together!! congrats guys i'm so happy for you! <3

sungie: bro... what

Mingo: I'm so sorry to be the one to tell you this, but Hwang Hyunjin is not a reliable source

hyunbro: MINHO < / 3

hyunbro: YOU'RE BREAKING MY HEART D:

Mingo: Cry about it then

hyunbro: I WILL TT

Seungtana: Minho be nice

Seungtana: Or at least pretend to be nice

hyunbro: SEUNGMIN WTF THIS SOUNDS LIKE A BETRAYAL!!!!!!

Seungtana: I'm telling him to be nice to you??

hyunbro: yOU'RE TELLING HIM THAT IT'S OKAY TO PRETEND TO BE NICE!!!!!!!

Seungtana: Well

Seungtana: If he's good enough at pretending, then you won't even know that he's pretending!

hyunbro: SEUNGMIN < / 3

Mingo: Yes yes very sad

Mingo: Anyway!

Mingo: Jisung actually gave me a rock today

sungie: a PEBBLE!

Mingo: Is that supposed to make a difference?

sungie: yeah!

sungie: at least it does for penguins

sungie: i gave you and seungmin the smoothest pebbles i found ^_^

Mingo: But we're not penguins

sungie: and you should be glad we aren't lmao, otherwise we would be engaged right now

Bang Chan: ...what

sungie: penguins propose by giving away the smoothest pebble they can find, and then the other penguin adds the pebble to their nest! :D

sungie: ok so it's not actually a proposal but it's like courtship

sungie: for penguins!!!

Seungtana: Hey by the way, where did Hyunjin get these fake news from?

hyunbro: wdym???? I only bring REAL news!!

Seungtana: Okay whatever, but where did you get the info from?

hyunbro: Observations! :)

hyunbro: I saw yall today at lunch

sungie: OMG you're stalking us!!!

hyunbro: No I literally just used my eyes

sungie: stalker!!!!!

hyunbro: NO

sungie: i'm calling the police!!!

hyunbro: NO I DIDN'T STALK YOU!!!

hyunbro: I witnessed with my EYES and then I thought with my BRAIN and then I realized that hey! these three are engaged and planning to move to Ireland together and adopt two golden retrievers that they will name Barbara and Frank!

hyunbro: You will buy a nice two-story house out on the countryside where you will live together for the rest of your lives with your two dogs!! That's what I learned, all by myself!! No stalking involved

Seungtana: ...you got all this just from seeing us have lunch together?

hyunbro: YES!!! it was so obvious

sungie:

hyunjin's brain

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logical conclusions |

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📍 absolute chaos

felixie: LMAO

felixie: I APPREICATE YOUR ATTEMPT AT RECREATING THE MEME BUT THIS LOOKS LIKE SHIT LMFAO

sungie: hey be nice i wasted 2 minutes of my life on that!! :(

felixie: yeah ok i guess that's true

felixie: but you have wasted a lot more time on even stupider things than this, sooo

felixie: i will keep making fun of you ^_^ <3

felixie: (lovingly)

Changbin: This is sibling culture right here

sungie: felix i could literally have you arrested right now

felixie: for making fun of you???

sungie: NO for breaking the law!!!

felixie: and what is the law you're talking about? lol

sungie: bro i mean literally

sungie: you haven't paid for a bus ticket in years

felixie: SHUT UP

sungie: LMAO

felixie: U CANT PROVE ANYTHING!!!

sungie: bro u made an app, the proof is right there on your phone

felixie: NO I DIDN'T SHUT UP

felixie: i DONT WANNA TALK ABOUT THIS ANYMORE

felixie: THIS IS A HATE CRIME AND I WILL NOT STAND FOR IT

sungie: MAYBE U SHOULD HAVE THOUGHT ABOUT THAT BEFORE U BROKE THE LAW!!!

Bang Chan: ...what is going on right now? lol

felixie: BASELESS ACCUSATIONS!!!

felixie: I DON'T LIKE THIS

sungie: U MADE FUN OF ME SO NOW I'M THREATENING TO HAVE YOU ARRESTED!!!!

Changbin: Oh yeah that makes sense

felixie: wAIT

felixie: IF U CALL THE COPS ON ME, YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO //CALL// THE COPS!!!!

sungie: ...fuck

sungie: CHANNIE WOULD U CALL THE COPS FOR ME??? <333

Bang Chan: Sure, I guess...? Lmao

sungie: HELL YEAH LIX YOU'RE GETTING ARRESTED!!! :D

felixie: NOOOOO

felixie: I'M FLEEING THE COUNTRY THEN!!! HAVE FUN BEING BROTHERLESS AND FELIXLESS, FUCKER!!!!!

sungie: hey wait no i did not think this through

sungie: FELIX DON'T LEAVE ME!!! D:

Seungtana: Wait, why can't Jisung just call the cops on his own?

sungie: because fuck phonecalls dude, i'm not doing that shit on my own

sungie: LIX!!!! DON'T LEAVE ME!!!! PLS ILY <333

felixie: do you promise to continue being my accomplice and keep all my illegal activities a secret from the fbi if i stay?

sungie: of course bro i love you bro <333

felixie: <333

hyunbro: ...what just happened

felixie: just bros being bros <3

hyunbro: okaaay

Bang Chan: Don't question it Hyunjin

Bang Chan: Life is easier if you just ignore them when they get like this :)

hyunbro: ok but they were actually funny

Bang Chan: Oh yeah that's not what I meant lol! I just meant that you shouldn't try to understand them, and definitely don't try to stop them.

Bang Chan: They will turn on you.

Bang Chan: It will be 10x more dramatic than whetever you were trying to interrupt.

Bang Chan: It is NOT worth it.

hyunbro: LMAo are you speaking from experience??

Bang Chan: Yes :/

hyunbro: akjdfhdshf omg

hyunbro: That's hilarious

sungie: ignore chan he's an oldie :p

Bang Chan: Hey??

sungie: grandchan

felixie: OMG THATS PERFECT!!!

felixie set Bang Chan's name to Grandchan

Grandchan: ...thanks

Grandchan: I think??

felixie: yeah its not a bad thing!! ^_^

sungie: it means we all look up to you and admire you! ( ^o^ )

sungie: metaphorically speaking, of course

sungie: not many people can look up to you physically

Grandchan: ...

sungie: just in case it wasn't clear, i'm saying that you're too short

Grandchan: Yeah I got that :/

Grandchan: and HEY you're shorter than me!!! This is rude!!!

sungie: ily channie ^_^

Grandchan: ily2 jisungie 😠

felixie: lmfao

felixie: love the angry emoji immediately after he says i love you

sungie: i think that's a personality trait '3'

felixie: yeah! chan's just an aggressively loving person ( ^_^ )

sungie: very accurate tbh

Grandchan: Maybe

Grandchan: MAYBE

Grandchan: I sort of maybe like this name the teeniest, tiniest bit

Grandchan: But only MAYBE!!!

sungie: i think you love the name but you just don't wanna admit it because you don't want us to win! ^o^

Changbin: Win?? Since when was this a fight???

sungie: since i came up with a GREAT name and chan decided to take something personally just because what i said was personally insulting to him!!

Changbin: ...

Changbin: So basically, he reacted the exact way you were expecting him to react, and you're upset by that?

sungie: it's not my fault that he gets offended when i say offensive things 😤

Changbin: Jisung

Changbin: Would you be so kind as to håll käften

sungie: LMAOOOOO

felixie: is it that again?? is he telling you to shut up in a random language??? :D

sungie: yES SJSDFHJFHD

sungie: I DON'T EVEN THINK IT'S GRAMMATICALLY CORRECT TO SWITCH LANGUAGE LIKE THAT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE SENTENCE BUT I DON'T CARE BECAUSE IT'S FUNNYYYYYY

Changbin: If I may repeat myself

Changbin: Håll käften

sungie: JSHDFGJSFDKFJJD

felixie: for the sake of changbin's sanity and jisung's rapidly decreasing lifespan, i think we should maybe listen to changbin lol

sungie: that would be a first, i don't think i've done that before!

sungie: it's exciting to try new things! :D

Changbin: ha ha you are so funny, what a comedic king, I can't believe I get to hear this for free /j

sungie: thank you! it's always nice being appreciated ^_^

sungie: also i know you're joking but i really do think i should get paid for how fucking HILARIOUS i am on a daily basis

Changbin: ...

sungie: i'm serious

sungie: clowns and comedics get paid, but i don't????

felixie: they're called comedians, ji

sungie: oH RIGHT!! I FORGOT THE WORD AHAHAH

sungie: but seriously!!! i should get money for this

Grandchan: Then get a job as a comedian or a clown

sungie: i might!!

sungie: ...no i won't, imagine all the social interactions i would have, that's disgusting

felixie: oh shit i gotta go i forgot my macaroni!!!!! bye everyone!!!!!!

sungie: omg okay i also need to go! felix has macaroni! :D

Changbin: Okay bye!

Changbin: I don't understand why you have to leave because of Felix's macaroni, though

sungie: his macaroni??? no, this is communism

sungie: OUR macaroni

sungie:

felixie: what a nice meme to end on! ^o^

Grandchan: Bye guys enjoy your macaroni!

felixie: bye! :D

sungie: goodbye thank u!! <3333

Chapter Text

3:52 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

sungie: hey so

sungie: maybe i should distance myself from minho & seungmin to stop myself from developing feelings for them

felixie: oh...

sungie: yeah :/

sungie: any ways, im gonna go cuddle minho

felixie: ???

felixie: but you literally just said you were gonna distance yourself??

sungie: oh right

sungie: that's true

sungie: i did say that

sungie: ok then! i will wait 15 minutes and then go cuddle minho!!

felixie: bro???? HOW is that keeping your distance?

sungie: obviously, i'm not going to cuddle him right now

sungie: i'll keep my distance by waiting 15 minutes before i do it!

felixie: i mean this in the nicest way possible but what the actual fuck

sungie: are you questioning my logic right now? :/

felixie: what logic? there is no logic

felixie: stupid

sungie: RUDE!

felixie: oh so you disagree with me? you actually think there's logic in this?

sungie: well, no

sungie: but still!

sungie: RUDE!!

felixie: look, there are two reasons why i am alive right now:

felixie: 1. to pet as many dogs as possible

felixie: 2. i need to call you out when you're being dumb

sungie: hey have you petted any fluffy dogs recently?

felixie: yes i have actually!! :D

felixie: but that is beside the point, i will not let you distract me this time!!! i was calling you out for being dumb!!

sungie: i wasn't trying to distract you!

felixie: yeah sure 🙄

felixie: anyway, since when are you and minho cuddling?

sungie: i've talked to him and seungmin every single day the past two weeks and we hung out several times, idk when the cuddling started but we're friends

felixie: ok cool ;)

felixie: so when's the marriage??

sungie: NOT YOU TOO! hyunjin already thinks he's so funny with that question, and now you're asking too :/

felixie: jk bro ^_^

felixie: but forreal

sungie: ok so you think i'm dumb for wanting to distance myself from them instead of just being honest with my friends

sungie: but it's not like i can tell minho and seungmin that i'm cursed to return to the faerie realm, not when i haven't even told channie and binnie yet

felixie: yes, soooo...

sungie: sorry lix, i'm not telling chan and binnie right now

felixie: :(

sungie: stop pouting omg

sungie: anyway i'm gonna go cuddle minho!! bye ly ttyl <333

felixie: ok bye :/

felixie: <3

7:06 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

felixie: hyunjin just asked me how jisung and i are actually related and i realized that we never told you guys that story

sungie: OH RIGHT

sungie: we forgot about that!!

hyunbro: YES I'M SO CONFUSED

Jeongking: oh story time?

felixie: yes! storytime!!

felixie: ji, take it away

sungie: it all started when we were born...

felixie: okay NEVERMIND, I WILL TAKE IT AWAY!

felixie: so!! jisung was born to a human mom in the human world, and a day later, i was born in the faerie realm

felixie: then my birth parents (or at least my birth dad, idk who my birth mom is) switched places of me and jisung!!

felixie: so my birth dad kept jisung, and left me with jisung's human mom!

felixie: but she noticed that her son had been replaced, so she brought me back with her to the faerie realm and searched for my biological dad

sungie: and when she met him, felix's birth dad was all like "ohoh, you noticed a difference?? then tell me which one is your real son!!" and he showed her both the babies

sungie: aka me and felix

sungie: and mom was like "wdym??? they're both my real child"

sungie: and all the other faeries in the court were like "oooooh"

sungie: and felix's birth day was all like "oh? they're both your real child??? explain pls"

sungie: so mom was like "i may not have birthed them both, but they have both been given to me, and that makes them both my real sons"

felixie: i guess the faeries were kinda impressed by her because they let her keep both of us!

felixie: and that's how we became brothers! :D

Jeongking: OH

Seungtana: That's very cool of your mom

sungie: and from that moment on, we were twins ( ^_^ )

Mingo: Lix, what faerie court are you from?

felixie: right!! my mom is the coolest yall

felixie: and minho, i'm from the white court!

Mingo: Oh same

felixie: wait WHAT

felixie: and we were both born lee!!

felixie: hey what if we're related lol omg that would be wild

Mingo: I mean, I don't know who my biological dad is and you just said that you don't know who your birth mom is

Mingo: So it would be kinda hard to figure out if we are

felixie: yeah ahahha but i doubt we are anyway :p

felixie: i mean, what are the odds??

Mingo: Higher than you might think

felixie: :0

Mingo: Anyway! That's a wild story

felixie: yeah :D

felixie: we were actually changelings but now we are real siblings!

hyunbro: damn imagine if someone stole your baby and your reaction was just

hyunbro: "hey let me steal another baby!"

hyunbro: and then you end up with two babies

hyunbro: so wild!

Seungtana: Yeah... wild

felixie: on an unrelated note, do you guys wanna know what i learned today??

felixie: trick question i'm telling u whether you want to or not

Grandchan: Yeah I wanna know!

felixie: jisung and minho

felixie: are CUDDLING!!

Mingo: Not currently, no

felixie: i didn't mean right now!! i just meant that u are on cuddling basis with each other!!!

Grandchan: And that was surprising to you?

Grandchan: I kind of assumed that Jisung would be on cuddling basis with both him and Seungmin by now

sungie: speedrunning all my friendshsip to get to cuddling basis as fast as possible!!

felixie: yeah ok

felixie: maybe that wasn't so surprising

sungie: it was fun until i got kicked out from minho's room :(

felixie: omg MINHo that's so rude!!! why !!!

sungie: because i kept playing this piano

sungie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gZC5763wYk

felixie: what is that?

sungie: you can play piano with your computer keyboard! on youtube! :D

felixie: omg??

sungie: there is also a trumpet!

sungie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xa17zHJhNhA

sungie: and of course, the superior piano

sungie: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v3XHP47MjiU

felixie: OMG???

Mingo: That cat piano is exactly why you got kicked out from my room

sungie: :(

felixie: minho dont be mean!!

felixie: the cat piano is fun :((

Mingo: I'm not arguing with that, I'm just saying that Ji doesn't have headphones and I'm trying to focus on assignments

sungie: TT

Mingo: I already told you that you can stay in my bedroom if you wear headphones!

sungie: yeah ik i'm just being dramatic, don't worry ^_^

felixie: so wait

felixie: you're still together??

felixie: i thought he kicked you out?

sungie: yeah, out from the bedroom

sungie: i'm in his living room now :)

felixie: are you still playing the cat piano?

sungie: yeah :D

Mingo: You COULD be in my room with me, if you let go of the cat piano

Mingo: but no

Mingo: You chose a cat piano over me < / 3

sungie: i mean, you'll still be in your room when i get tired of the cat piano

sungie: so i'll keep playing the cat piano for now! ^_^

Mingo: HEARTBREAK < / 3

sungie: rip in peace u will be missed

Seungtana: Minho I am literally in your room with you

Seungtana: Does my presence mean nothing to you?

Mingo: I tolerate your presence

Seungtana: Damn that's harsh

Seungtana: Anyway

Seungtana: I miss the cat piano, I'm going to the living room

Mingo: HEARTBREAK AGAIN < / 3

Mingo: This is why you shouldn't have feelings

felixie: uh... you can't just NOT have feelings?? that's not how it works

Mingo: I can. I just decide not to have feelings and then they disappear

felixie: oh wow

felixie: i usually just cry lmao

Mingo: That's good too

Grandchan: Minho is right! It's good to cry sometimes, don't repress your feelings

felixie: oh yeah u are right

felixie: thank u grandchan for your wisdom!

Grandchan: ...the fact that you're calling me Grandchan kind of makes it seem like you're not being serious :/

felixie: i am thanking u for your wisdom!!

felixie: everyone knows that old people are the best at giving advice!!

felixie: it's not always good advice, but it sure is advice! and they sure are giving it to you!!

sungie: LMAO

Seungtana: Felix is just out here offending all old people at once

felixie: it's a talent ^_^

sungie: okie bye guys i must return to minho's room now, i got tired of the cat piano

sungie: ly ttyl ^_^ <333

felixie: ly sungie byebye!! <333

Grandchan: I wish you all the best cuddles!

sungie: thank you!! ^o^

Chapter Text

8:53 pm

3RACHA (3)

SpearB: THIS IS AN INTERROGATION

SpearB: JISUNG PETER HAN

SpearB: COME HERE NOW!!!

J.One: i don't even remember doing anything to you in the past 24 hours, why are you yelling!!

SpearB: This is an interrogation, I have questions for you!

J.One: what did i do please i don't remember doing anything bad i haven't stolen any of your food in at LEAST 48 hours and i didn't steal your phone to take any selfies today i'm SURE of it

SpearB: Hey calm down I'm joking

SpearB: I just want to ask you something, it's not serious

J.One: FUCKER. you could have started with that

SpearB: Sorry, I didn't realize how my tone would come across over message

SpearB: This isn't anything bad, don't worry <3

J.One: fucker

SpearB: It's about Minho and Seungmin

SpearB: I am going to tease you about them relentlessly, in the nicest way possible

J.One: okay

SpearB: You good with that?

J.One: yeah sorry i just thought you were pissed at me for a second there lol

SpearB: No need to apologize, I didn't mean to scare you

J.One: no i'm okay, i just read your tone wrong haha

SpearB: That's fine! Let me know if that changes! I should have clarified I was joking

SpearB: But!!!

SpearB: You were in Minho's apartment yesterday!!! With Seungmin!!!

J.One: yeah? and what about it?? :p

SpearB: You were cuddling with Minho

SpearB: SUS

J.One: lmao u sound like The Straights™ when they see two boys closer than two feet from each other

SpearB: First of all, I am not straight and I am OFFENDED that you would ever compare me to anyone who is the hetero of sexualities! /hj

SpearB: SECOND, this was way more than that!!!

SpearB: Okay I am not going to say that two boys being close with each other is inherently romantic, because that's a problematic thing to say, even if both boys are gay

SpearB: BUT you are still suspicious and I have my eyes on you!

J.One: you don't have time to keep your eyes on me

J.One: 90% of the time, your eyes are on chan's ass

SpearB: hEY!!!!! THAT ATTACK WAS ENTIRELY UNCALLED FOR!!!!!!!

J.One: but did i lie? lmaoooo

SpearB: Well, no, but still!!!!!

J.One: if your eyes are on chan's ass 90% of the time, that means you still have 52 560 minutes per year to keep your eyes on me

SpearB: Wait what

SpearB: Is that math correct? Is that 10% of a year?

SpearB: Are you just saying random numbers or do you actually know this?

J.One: it's true!!! unless it's a leap year

SpearB: hOW DO YOU KNOW THAT????

J.One: contrary to popular belief, i do understand how basic math works!!!

SpearB: THAT'S NOT BASIC MATH???? WHO KNOWS HOW MANY MINUTES ARE 10% OF A YEAR?????

J.One: i didn't actually know that, but i do know how to divide by 10! and i know how many minutes there are in a year!!

J.One: so i just divided that by 10, and tada! math!! :D

SpearB: Okay but why do you know how many minutes are in a year??

J.One: we don't need to talk about that

SpearB: YES WE DO BECAUSE NOW I'M CURIOUS

J.One: curiosity killed the cat

SpearB: but satisfaction brought it back!

SpearB: So tell me your secrets, mystery man!!!

J.One: okay FINE

J.One: ...seasons of love

SpearB: oooooooooooooohhhhh!! I should have figured that out, actually

J.One: funniest part is that i've never watched rent

J.One: i just know that one song for some reason lol

SpearB: Okay but that's me with a lot of musicals

J.One: sometimes the music is just more famous than the musical itself

J.One: or maybe i just haven't had many chances to go see musicals lol

SpearB: Rent is very famous though

J.One: yes true

SpearB: hEY WAIT I'M LETTING YOU DISTRACT ME FROM MY IMPORTANT QUESTIONS!!!

SpearB: You and Minho and Seungmin are friends!!!!

SpearB: You spend a lot of time with them!!!!

SpearB: You genuinely enjoy spending time with them!!!!

J.One: those are just statements binnie

J.One: where are these questions you speak of?

SpearB: What are your feelings for Minho and Seungmin??

SpearB: Are you, perhaps...

SpearB: *whispers* crushing on them?

J.One: NO STOP, DON'T START ROLEPLAYING WITH ME!

SpearB: *raises eyebrow* sounds like you're avoiding the question, pup

J.One: okay yes i will answer!! stop roleplaying!!

J.One: my feelings for them are good

J.One: i like them

J.One: they are nice

SpearB: That's good! It's not what I meant though

J.One: i know what you meant, i was just ignoring it <3

SpearB: Smh my head :/

SpearB: Where is Bang Chan when you need him?

J.One: probably working

SpearB: Hang on a second I'm gonna yell at him

J.One: wait are you both in the same place?? can't you just go and talk to him then??

SpearB: Yes but I'm in the kitchen and he's in the bedroom

J.One: i don't see how that stops you from going over and talking to him

SpearB: Because that's far away, Jisung

SpearB: And I am saving my strength

J.One: you mean you're lazy

SpearB: No!

SpearB: Saving My Strength™

J.One: i don't think you're legally allowed to put a trademark sign on that

SpearB: Who's gonna stop me? The law??

SpearB: Fuck the law!!

CB97: Changbin, you're setting a terrible example for our son

J.One: ohmyGOD DON'T START ROLEPLAYING PLEASE!

SpearB: WHY did you have to come in right when I said that??

SpearB: I was saying so many smart things earlier, but no! You decide to come in right as I decide to be a rebel!

J.One: first of all, you never said anything smart

SpearB: HEY!!

J.One: second, i don't think that counts as being a rebel

J.One: you just said something especially stupid and happened to insult the government at the same time

SpearB: Isn't that the exact definition of being a rebel?

J.One: it absolutely is NOT

CB97: Binnie you're letting him distract you again

SpearB: FUCK YOU'RE RIGHT

SpearB: Jisung!!!

SpearB: Your feelings!!!

J.One: bold of you to assume i have feelings

SpearB: Did you forget that we were together a few hours ago, and you spent most of that time crying over a barbie movie?

J.One: YOU'RE NOT WRONG BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU HAD TO BRING IT UP!!

SpearB: Okay so, not to pressure you or anything, but I am curious

SpearB: Just because you don't usually get close to people this fast!

SpearB: You don't have to have a crush on them, I just wanna know if I should get ready to physically fight them over the position of your best friend

J.One: bold of you to assume you were ever my best friend

SpearB: Well, you can have more than one best friend

SpearB: And if you try to tell me that I'm not one of yours, I will Riot™

J.One: again, i don't think you're legally allowed to put a trademark sign on that

SpearB: DISTRACTIONS

SpearB: Please refer to my previous question.

J.One: no ahahha what do you mean i would never distract you hahahha what makes you say that??

SpearB: Please refer to my previous question.

J.One: you sound like one of those automatic responses

J.One: binnie are u still there??

SpearB: Please refer to my previous question

J.One: oooooh you forgot the period at the end of the sentence!!! i caught you!!!

SpearB: Yeah well I'm not a robot!! Everybody makes mistakes!!

J.One: everybady has those days~~

J.One: my brain is now singing the hannah montana song just fyi

SpearB: Can you PLEASE refer to my previous question :(

SpearB: Or at least let me know if you don't wanna talk about it?

J.One: okay honestly?? no fucking clue

SpearB: About...?

J.One: minho and seungmin

J.One: do i like them and appreciate their company? yes

J.One: do i enjoy cuddling with them? yes

J.One: am i making efforts to get closer to them and spend time with them? yes

J.One: is it a crush? ?

SpearB: I think only you can answer that

J.One: yeah, i did

J.One: the second question mark was the answer to the question

J.One: in other words, i have no idea lol

SpearB: Oh okay thanks for letting me know! ;)

CB97: Don't feel pressured to act on any potential feelings just because Changbin has no patience and loves meddling in other people's relationships!

CB97: Take your time to sort out your feelings, whatever they may be! And we'll always be here to talk about it if you want 😊

SpearB: I don't meddle!!!

CB97: Uhh? This entire conversation has been you meddling??

SpearB: It literally hasn't?

SpearB: I can't meddle in a relationship until I actually know that there is a relationship to meddle with!!!

J.One: binnie has a point, but i appreciate your support channie! <3

CB97: Thanks pup <3

SpearB: HA! JISUNG AGREED WITH ME, I WIN!!!

J.One: ...there are two types of people

J.One: anyway its been fun talking to you, but i need to go and pretend that i'm working on some assignments while i'm actually scrolling through twitter now! bye! <3

CB97: Okay goodluck!!

J.One: i dont need luck to scroll through twitter??

J.One: OH you meant with the assignments!

J.One: ahahah sure

SpearB: bye!

J.One: bye binnie! ^_^

Chapter Text

4:28 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

sungie: felix

sungie: LIX

sungie: PLEASE come online this is a fucking DISASTER

felixie: what is? what happened?

sungie: minho saw my tattoo

felixie: what

felixie: how?? i thought you always kept it covered

sungie: we were cuddling and i didn't notice that my sleeve had rolled up

sungie: so he saw it and was like "oh i didn't know you have a tattoo"

sungie: and i could tell he was staring at my scars too and aaaaaaah it was such a mess

sungie: he wasn't supposed to see that

felixie: what did you say?

sungie: i rolled my sleeve down and said that it's not a tattoo, i just wrote on my arm

sungie: i don't think he believed me

felixie: minho is fae, he might have recognized it as a curse

sungie: i don't think so? i mean it looks like a regular tattoo

sungie: lots of people have important dates tattooed on their body

felixie: yeah, but, i don't think many people have important dates from the future

sungie: it's the date i'm cursed to go back to the faerie realm

sungie: what if he figures it out?

felixie: ...do you think he's going to figure out that when we were switched at birth, the faeries put a curse on you so that you would be bound to them for the rest of your life??

felixie: and they only let you leave temporarily because they thought your mom was cool, but now that you're an adult, you have to return to them???

felixie: do you really think he's going to guess that????

sungie: MAYBE

felixie: i mean i doubt it, but maybe he will recognize that the tattoo isn't actually a tattoo, and that it's a curse

felixie: that's possible

sungie: i think i should get a fake identity, move to finland and get a job at a bakery in a small town where i can know everyone, but no one knows me

felixie: bro...

sungie: maybe then i wouldn't have to go back to the faerie realm either!

sungie: so i can solve two of my problems at once!! :D

felixie: you realize that the faeries will find you wherever you go, right? lol

felixie: the faerie realm has entrances everywhere all around the world, since it's a completely different dimension

felixie: they'll find you in finland too

sungie: that's stalking!! i don't approve of that!!!

felixie: yeah well i don't approve of the police but they would still arrest me if they caught me doing something illegal :p

sungie: i knoooow

sungie: but i really wanna live in delusion for a little bit longer!

felixie: lmao okay that's fair

sungie:

felixie: JSDSFGDF

felixie: memes n schemes <3

sungie: tbh that chat name is like. the only moment of brilliance i have had in my entire life

felixie: not true, but you're right that it's a GREAT chat name <333

felixie: wait

felixie: are u still with minho??

sungie: no i went home

felixie: oh okay

felixie: u two good?

sungie: maybe he will ask about the tattoo next time we meet but i'm not dealing with that rn :p

felixie: not sure if avoidance is the best coping mechanism, but sure! i support u!

felixie: also, you could just tell him the truth

sungie: no, too sad

felixie: okay! just remember that it's an option

sungie: an option that i will not pick, but i will remember it! ^_^

felixie: lol okay

10:08 am

Mingo, sungie (private chat)

Mingo: Good morning Hannie!

10:08 am

memes n schemes (private chat)

sungie: MINHO JUST SAID GOOD MORNING TO ME???!??/"(#=#€/??")#(€

felixie: omfg reply to him instead of telling me

felixie: just say good morning back!!!

sungie: AFTER EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENED YESTERDAY?????

felixie: YES

sungie: oKAY????

10:10 am

Mingo, sungie (private chat)

sungie: good morning!

Mingo: I'm not going to ask about the mark on your arm, just so you know

Mingo: Maybe I misread the situation but it felt like you don't wanna talk about it

sungie: are you okay with that? just ignoring it?

Mingo: Does anyone else know about it?

sungie: yeah felix knows

Mingo: Then yeah, I'm okay with ignoring it

Mingo: I recognized the mark yesterday but it's fine if we don't talk about it as long as someone knows

Mingo: If you want to tell me, I'd like to hear it, but it's your choice and I won't be upset if you don't

Mingo: Especially if Felix is the only one who knows

sungie: well my mom knows too, and the person who put it there

sungie: obviously

sungie: but i've been wanting to tell chan and binnie

Mingo: Do you have a plan for when or how you're gonna do that?

sungie: not really??

sungie: i don't wanna worry them or anything so idk

Mingo: I can't help much since I don't know what your curse is, but try to remember that you can't decide how they react

Mingo: It doesn't matter how well you explain it, they might still get sad or worried or whatever

sungie: thank you minho you're very nice! <3

sungie set Mingo's name to min

sungie set their name to sung

min: ...

sung: ...do u not like it

sung: i can change it back?

min: No no I like it! I just wasn't expecting it

min: It's sweet

min: We're matching names!

sung: yeah!! ^o^ <3

min: Also, the reason I messaged you was actually to ask if you're home right now

sung: yeah i am!

min: And are you busy today?

sung: no i'm not!

min: Okay cool

min: I stole Seungmin when he woke up, so he's been here all morning

min: We'll be over at your dorm in 20 minutes

sung: you... stole...... seungmin???

min: Get dressed cause we will be taking you out

sung: like, to get food???? or with a sniper gun??????

min: See you soon :]

sung: oKAY??

Chapter Text

1:56 pm

Mingo, Seungtana (private chat)

Seungtana: How many trees does it take to make a forest?

Mingo: Read

Seungtana: ...you can't just leave me on read by saying "read"

Seungtana: That's not how it works

Mingo: Read

Seungtana: This app doesn't even say if your messages have been read, you can't just say "read" to replace that function

Seungtana: You're not leaving me on read if you respond to my messages

Mingo: Read

Seungtana: Okay but that was a serious question

Seungtana: How many trees does it take? Where do we draw the line?

Seungtana: If I have five trees, is that a forest?

Seungtana: What about fifty?? Five hundred???

Seungtana: Does the government get to decide?

Seungtana: Is there history involved in this? Like if there have always been trees here, historically speaking, then it counts as a forest?

Seungtana: If I have ten trees in my yard, is that a forest?

Mingo: Okay calm down! That's a lot of things to consider

Seungtana: Well

Seungtana: At least I got an actual response from you this time!

Mingo: ... :/

Seungtana: Google wouldn't answer my question so I came to you

Mingo: I think words are bullshit and whatever you think is a forest should count as a forest

Seungtana: Okay, thanks!

Seungtana: I think it has to do with how many trees there are, how close together they're standing, how big of an area they cover, and how locals refer to this specific gathering of trees

Mingo: Why is this even something you're thinking about

Seungtana: It came to me when I was trying to sleep last night and it hasn't left my mind since

Seungtana: I had to talk about it with someone

Mingo: Isn't it kind of like asking how much water it takes to make a lake?

Mingo: But it's a bit different, because there isn't really a word for smaller forests

Mingo: For lakes, there are ponds and puddles that are like smaller versions of lakes

Mingo: But there's no smaller version of a forest

Seungtana: Huh... I think it's possible that you're right about this, actually

Mingo: ????? Of course I am

Seungtana: Wait, are you sure there isn't a word for smaller forests?

Seungtana: I feel like there should be one

Mingo: Parks

Seungtana: That's not the same thing at all

Mingo: Then it's just trees ig

Seungtana: Okay... I guess :/

Seungtana: I can't think of anything, so for now I'll just accept that you're right

Mingo: I AM right!!!! Why wouldn't I be????

Seungtana: Idk

Seungtana: Hey have you though about how our names match?

Seungtana: Seungminho

Mingo: Bold of you to assume I think

Seungtana: lmao

Mingo: But yeah you're right! :]

Seungtana: And Jisung's name too, if you spell it a bit different

Seungtana: Jiseungminho

Mingo: What an abomination of a word, I love it!

Seungtana: Why do you always love ugly things??

Mingo: Hey what does that even mean

Mingo: It's not true

Mingo: There are lots of pretty things that I love ;)

Seungtana: Sjdfjdfj that's not what I meant!

Mingo: I just don't discriminate based on appearance <3

Mingo: Ugly words are also words!

Seungtana: Okay true

Mingo: Tell me if you find out how many trees it takes to make a forest btw

Seungtana: Okay! I will :)

Mingo: Thanks

5:48 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

hyunbro: if songs were food, which one would taste the best??

Changbin: ...what

hyunbro: like, if you could eat songs, which song do you think would taste the best??

Changbin: What does that even m e a n ????

Changbin: You can't eat songs

Changbin: Music isn't made of flavors

Mingo: Is today the day of existential questions?

Mingo: Seungmin asked me how many trees it takes to make a forest, and now Hyuni is on this bullshit too

sungie: omg there's this one song that i think would taste so warm

sungie: like a homecooked meal or a cinnamon roll or something

sungie: i forgot the song title

hyunbro: say the lyrics!

sungie: i think we're alone now

sungie: there doesn't seem to be anyone around

hyunbro: OH YEAH i know the song!!

Seungtana: ...the song title is literally "I think we're alone now" and it's by Tiffany

sungie: oh

sungie: yeah that makes sense actually :p

hyunbro: do you have a reason for why it would taste like a homecooked meal?

sungie: because i have memories of dancing to that song with felix in our living room, while mom was cooking in the kitchen! <3

sungie: she used to play it for us when we were kids and she needed to distract us

sungie: usually while she was cooking

hyunbro: AW that's wholesome! <333

felixie: wAIT YOU JUST UNLOCKED A HIDDEN MEMORY IN ME OMG

felixie: remember that song mom always used to put on when we were going to sleep??

sungie: the girl from ipanema!

felixie: YEAH THAT'S THE ONE!!!

sungie: lix you had an obsession with that song omg

sungie: and you hated the english version sjdfjfdh

sungie: it was Portuguese or Nothing

felixie: lol yeah!!

hyunbro: what do you think that song would taste like?

felixie: toast with melted butter

hyunbro: OMG I LOVE THAT

felixie: ME TOO!!!!

felixie: but hyuni, what would be your favorite song to eat? :D

felixie: you asked the question so i'm guessing you've thought about it

hyunbro: bye bye i finally disappear from your life, by msftz!

hyunbro: it would taste like ice cream cake

sungie: i can't believe you didn't say ice cream cake by red velvet for that :/

hyunbro: I thought about it but bro that's too obvious!!

Grandchan: You could make a whole menu out of red velvet songs

Grandchan: Sunny side up, Ice cream cake, Milkshake, Blue lemonade, #Cookie jar, Candy...

Grandchan: Did I miss anything?

Changbin: Mojito

Changbin: also, they literally have a song called Taste

sungie: yeah and you missed swimming pool

sungie: that's one of my favorite red velvet songs <3

Grandchan: You can't eat swimming pools though???

felixie: yes you can!! it's my favorite food!!

felixie: and you also missed LP :( that song is so cool!

Grandchan: Felix, we were talking about food

Grandchan: If you're eating LP records, I will be seriously worried about you

hyunbro: mmmm LP! yummy

Grandchan: Okay guys I think we need to clear something up

Grandchan:

Grandchan: This right here is an LP record

Grandchan: An LP is not something you eat

felixie: nom nom cromch cromch!!

sungie: d e v o u r

Grandchan: ...

hyunbro: oh and you missed "bad boy", "really bad boy" and "psycho" as well

Grandchan: What.

Grandchan: I have no idea what you mean by that

Grandchan: How do you eat bad boys and psychos??

Grandchan: Wait...

hyunbro: NOM NOM

sungie: cromchy bones!! yumy :D

Grandchan: hOW DID WE START TALKING ABOUT CANNIBALISM

Grandchan: You guys are seriously concerning me right now!!

felixie: C O N S U M E

Grandchan: NO! DON'T CONSUME HUMANS!!!!

sungie: hjdfgdssjdgfjshjs

sungie: but why not channie?

sungie: you don't like the cromchy bones? :(

Grandchan: I think I need brain bleach

felixie: everyone here needs brain bleach tbh

sungie: NOM NOM NOM

hyunbro: cromchy bones! yummy!

hyunbro: 🅱️ones, nom nom

Grandchan: Can we maybe stop it with the cannibalism, guys?

Grandchan: I don't support eating people

sungie: you don't support me?? D:

Grandchan: NOT IF YOU'RE EATING PEOPLE

sungie: TT

hyunbro: channie hates us :(

Grandchan: I literally just don't want you to eat people

Grandchan: Is that too much to ask?

sungie: well. now we know who we'll be eating first!

hyunbro: watch out channie! ^_^

Grandchan: Wait no

Grandchan: Don't eat me

Grandchan: I'm not tasty, I promise

Changbin: He's lying, he's the tastiest person out there

sungie: sux 4 u chan, i believe binnie more than i believe u lmao

sungie: better lock your doors! we're coming for you ;p

felixie: ...

felixie: the next time someone asks what's wrong with me, i'm just gonna show them a screenshot of this conversation

sungie: LMAO

hyunbro: tbh that's totally fair

Seungtana: Hyunjin, you started this

Seungtana: I can't believe you've been hiding the fact that you're a cannibal for so long /j

hyunbro: BRO I didn't start talking about cannibalism!!!

hyunbro: I just asked which song would taste the best if you could eat songs!

Seungtana: Oh... that's true actually

sungie: but it was also hyunjin who started talking about cannibalism

sungie: he's the one who said he would eat psychos and bad boys

sungie: aka people

felixie: yeah that's right!! jisung only said swimming pools, and i only said LPs

sungie: felix and i are snacking on some LPs while drinking swimming pool water

sungie: meanwhile, hyunjin is eating people

sungie: we are not the same

Seungtana: I mean, you did jump on board with Hyunjin's idea pretty quickly

felixie: baseless accusations! i don't like this

felixie: i will not be leaving a good review on yelp 😠

sungie: jail for seungmin!! jail for seungmin for one thousand years!!!

Seungtana: ??? all I did was point out the facts

felixie: YEAH and you SHOULDN'T have!!

sungie: JAIL

Seungtana: Okay :/

Seungtana: But I won't be the only one in jail, not once the cops find out that three of you are eating other people

Seungtana: You'll be in jail too

felixie: NO

sungie: FUCK

hyunbro: okay but did you guys see what minho said earlier

hyunbro: how many trees does it take to make a forest?

Seungtana: ...that was a long time ago

hyunbro: yeah but I feel like we didn't pay enough attention to that!!

hyunbro: now I'm curious

felixie: i'm gonna google!!

Seungtana: …here we go again, I guess

Chapter Text

7:54 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

felixie: I hate kids who are at that age when they're just realizing that some people fucking suck

Grandchan: What age is that?

felixie: like, 11??? i don't know

felixie: but i mean when the kids start seeing people on the internet be rude for no reason and they're so not used to seeing that, and they seem to think it's a new thing

felixie: which i guess it is, at least from their point of view, but it's like

felixie: yeah i feel bad that you had to see someone on tiktok talk shit about your favorite actor for no reason whatsoever

felixie: but sometimes people just suck! people are always talking shit! it's nothing new!

felixie: i know it's frustrating to see but if you're gonna be upset with every jackass on the internet, your life will be hell

felixie: i mean i understand that you have emotional reactions when you see something upsetting, but it's not your job to argue with every stupid person on tiktok

felixie: there will always be people who dislike the things that you love

sungie: tbh i feel like this doesn't only apply to kids

sungie: a lot of adults also need to learn this

felixie: yeah that's true, i'm just complaining about the kids who are only just realizing that people are rude for no reason sometimes

felixie: and it's not that the kids start arguing with rude people on the internet

felixie: (that also happens of course but that's not what i'm complaining about)

felixie: actually i don't really know how to explain

felixie: but like, my sister was telling me about her mutual on tiktok, and this mutual was calling someone racist (for something that wasn't even related to racism??)

felixie: and then my sister was like "here, look at this tiktok!! she's saying rude things!! look at the comments!! i told her it wasn't racist but she won't listen!!"

felixie: and i'm like

felixie: i'm so sorry you had to see that, but there are millions of people out there who don't give a fuck about logic

felixie: it doesn't matter how well you explain something to them, they just won't listen

felixie: that's how some people are

Grandchan: Oh yeah I understand

Grandchan: That can be annoying

sungie: that's a hard thing to explain though

felixie: yeah i know!

felixie: sometimes people fucking suck

felixie: everyone knows that, but you also have to accept that sometimes there's nothing you can do about it

felixie: a lot of times actually

felixie: especially when you're arguing with a 12 year old on tiktok who thinks that canceling people is the only correct way to deal with it when someone makes a mistake :/

felixie: you won't be able to change their mind by arguing with them, and that is really frustrating but you will turn yourself into a ball of rage if you keep trying

felixie: it's okay to let assholes exist and not to anything about them

sungie: oh i think i saw somethig similar to this in a comment section once

sungie: i mean i don't know if the person was 11 years old but they gave off young vibes from their comment

felixie: yeah sometimes they just have that Vibe™ :p

sungie: but the first person left a long comment complaining about how rude people can be on social media, and specifically talked about all the hate that their favorite band was getting on tiktok for no reason

sungie: then someone responded to the comment and like

sungie: expressed sympathy, but didn't really get specific about it or ask for more details

sungie: the person was literally just like "i'm sorry you had to see that, that's rough"

sungie: and then the person who left the original comment came back and was like "yeah and i saw this asshole on youtube too!! they were saying this and this and this!! i can give links if you want!!"

sungie: (idk how to explain it)

sungie: but it's like, you don't need to spread their negativity to others

sungie: the second person was just expressing their sympathy, they're still a stranger to you, and they don't need to see the the rude tiktok or youtube video or whatever you're talking about in order to understand

sungie: we all know that there are idiots on the internet, saying idiotic things. you don't always need to prove it

sungie: when you see someone being rude you can either try to argue (which might be pointless) or report them

sungie: and if it's something especially bad, maybe you can tell others to report them too

sungie: but there's absolutely no need to spread the negative things the assholes are saying!

sungie: and if you wanna talk to someone about it, it's perfectly fine to just say "this person was saying rude things about this band"

sungie: and it's okay to get specific but if the person didn't ask for it/isn't prepared for it, then you either need to ask if they want to hear it, or prepare them for it

sungie: for the sake of their mental state, you shouldn't be bringing up heaving topics without warning (but it can depend on the person you're talking to and what the topic is, so i'm not saying this is always true)

sungie: but when you see hate, you don't need to spread it around, even if you're complaining about it/explaining why it's wrong/disagreeing with it

felixie: yeah you don't need to spread the hate

felixie: spread love not hate 😘 ❤️😔🙏

sungie: ...yeah sure ig :)

Grandchan: I think it depends on the situation?

Grandchan: It's not your responsibility when a stranger is being an asshole online, but reporting it is good

Grandchan: And I don't think it's wrong to be upset when you see people be hateful

felixie: true, but i also see no point in spreading that hate to others

Grandchan: That's fair

Grandchan: I just mean that you shouldn't bottle things up and if it upsets you, talking about it can help

felixie: yeah no i'm not arguing with that!! but in some situations, it's just uncalled for

felixie: and if you're going on a rant about something like this, it's important to prepare the other person for what you're gonna talk about

felixie: like when my sister texted me, it was a lot at once and it came out of nowhere

felixie: i really didn't have the energy to deal with all the things she wanted me to care about so i ended up ignoring most of her messages

felixie: and she didn't really seem to be getting anything out of sharing it with me?

felixie: so in this situation i would have prefered it if she just told me she saw an asshole on the internet WITHOUT showing me all the specific things this asshole was saying

felixie: i didn't need to see that, it was too much

Grandchan: Oh I get that, yeah

Grandchan: I was thinking about it differently but I guess it depends on the situation

felixie: yeah definitely!

felixie: also just to be clear, i'm not saying you should let people be racist/ableist/homophobic/sexist/islamophobic/literally anything else like that, because that's not okay

felixie: but you don't need to go around quoting the bad things they're saying

felixie: that's all

Grandchan: In some situations you might wanna be specific about what they're saying, so I really think it depends on who you're talking to

felixie: okie i can accept that

felixie: for me i would probably want a warning first at least, but people are different ^_^

Grandchan: Yeah! :)

Jeongking: okay so this has been a very interesting convo to read

Jeongking: but i have a question

felixie: hm?

Jeongking: is felix's sister also jisung's sister? or how does that work??

Jeongking: i didn't know you had more siblings

sungie: ah no! she's fae, and they're related through felix's birth parents

sungie: so she's not related to me

felixie: yeah she's not actually like my sister since we didn't grow up together, we kind of met by accident and realized that we have the same biological dad!

felixie: i have two fae sisters that i know of but we're not close or anything ^_^

Jeongking: that you know of???

Mingo: Fae don't really see families the same way as humans do

Minho: Which is why most of us talk about birth parents/biological parents, instead of just saying parents

Mingo: That's because most of us don't have close relationships with our parents

Jeongking: oh

Jeongking: so you don't know all your siblings?

felixie: i mean, there's a reason changelings exist

felixie: fae love to bargain or trade, especially information, and kids are really valuable in that sense

felixie: it's kind of hard to explain but people rarely have kids together because they love each other, and monogamy is extremely rare among fae

felixie: most people change partners very often and they tend to have children together with many of their partners

felixie: so it's difficult to keep track of all the people your related to sjdfhf

Grandchan: Oh wow

Jeongking: wait what if you accidentally do incest???

Jeongking: like you fuck someone and then it turns out to be your sister, and you just didn't know it because your family wasn't keeping track of the relations

sungie: jEONGING OMG WHY IS THAT YOUR FIRST REACTION

Jeongking: i'm just saying!! it could happen!!!

Mingo: And it has happened a bunch of times actually!

Mingo: To fae, it's not that big of a deal

Mingo: Incest isn't as weird as it is to humans, partly because we usually don't know all the people we're related to

Jeongking: country roads...

Jeongking: take me home...

sungie: JEONGINFKGHJGDNSHJ

Grandchan: We were having a serious conversation... what happened to that

sungie: JEONGING HAPPENED

sungie: HE IS A THREAT TO OUR SOCIETY

Jeongking: and I take pride in that ^_^

felixie: jisung you keep spelling his name wrong sjfjkfdj

felixie: you keep saying jeonging

sungie: I KNOW IM JUST LAUGHING TOO MUCH

Jeongking: sometimes people fucking suck

Jeongking: their brother's dick ;)

felixie: NOPE

sungie: FUCKING STOP IT OMG

felixie: WHY DID YOU SAY THAT.

sungie: THERE WAS ABSOLUTELY NO REASON TO PUT THOSE WORDS INTO EXISTENCE, YET YOU DID!!!

felixie: IM LEAVING

sungie: ME TOO

Mingo: .

Mingo: Well this was fun

Chapter Text

1:45 pm

min, sung (private chat)

sung: I'M SO SORRY BUT I HAVE A PROJECT I'M TRYING TO WORK ON RIGHT NOW

sung: i know we were gonna hang out after lucnh today but i will be a bit late!!! i'm so sorry!!!

sung: i'm not at my dorm yet so i hope you haven't gotten there yet?

min: It's okay, don't rush the project

min: And your roommate let me in so I'm just chilling with him in your dorm

sung: wait you mean jeongin?

sung: you've met jeonging????

min: Unless you have another, secret roommate that I didn't know about, then yeah, I've met Jeongin

sung: omg

sung: how is it? do you like him? are you getting along??

sung: or is he ignoring you? :(

min: No he's been telling me embarrassing stories about you

min: We're getting along great :)

sung: ...i don't like that

sung: but i guess it's okay!

min: Do you have much left of your project?

sung: kind of...?

sung: but i don't wanna keeep you waiting so i'll try to hurry!!

min: Take your time, I don't have anywhere else to be

min: Innie and I are gonna go to the park now

sung: what

min: Text me when you're done and we'll pick you up on our way back!

min: Don't stress

sung: okay???

min: Innie is my new accomplice ;)

sung: oh damn i can already feel the regret setting in

sung: i don't think i will survive you two being friends with each other...

min: Just wait until I introduce Seungmin to Jeongin, things will be great! :)

sung: oh damn oh boy oh man...

sung: rip me

min: Yeah lmao

sung: :/

min: Anyway we're going out now, text me when you're done

Minho isn't sure why the woman even believes him. Maybe it's because he's wearing a long, gray coat, looking like a real adult, and Jeongin is in a brown hoodie with ears on it. They look like each other's opposites.

Either way, this woman that he's talking to can't be very good at estimating people's ages, because she fully believes him when Minho tells her that he's taking his son out to the park.

Because he is in the park with Jeongin right now, that much is true, and the woman he's talking to is here with her own son, who seems to be around five. An appropriate age for playing in the kids fountain.

Jeongin is not a kid, but his hoodie makes him look younger than he is, and the way he's playing with the water also helps give that appearance.

"Ah, that's sweet. You really look like each other", she comments, eyes turned to Jeongin.

The kid is currently playing in the fountain a bit away from where they're standing. Jeongin must seem like such a perfect child right now, playing happily while looking just a bit younger than he actually is.

Minho doesn't even know what the woman's name is, but she's here with her kid. He doesn't feel like telling her that Jeongin is actually nineteen, and definitely not his son. If anything, Jeongin would be Chan's son. That could make sense.

"Yeah, he definitely got my good looks", Minho agrees. The woman chuckles a bit at his confidence.

She must seriously believe that Jeongin is his son, because why else would she strike up a conversation with him? They're at a park where parents typically come with their children. Obviously, she thinks Minho is one of those parents.

"How old is he?" the woman asks, and this is where it gets tricky. Minho tries to do some quick math in his head but decides within a split second that he's gonna have to lie about his own age if this is going to make sense.

He decides to just say what he thinks is the youngest believable age.

"He's twelve."

If Jeongin heard him say that, he would be dead. Minho is really lucky that he doesn't.

"Ah", the woman hums in understanding. "I actually have a daughter who's thirteen, but she never lets me bring her here. Thinks she's too old for this place. I'm glad you two have such a nice bond."

The woman smiles at Minho again. He tries not to feel bad about lying to her. The fact that he finds this whole situation hilarious helps a great deal with that.

"So am I."

That's technically not a lie. He has formed a nice bond with Jeongin since they first met about an hour ago, but Jeongin definitely isn't his son.

Minho breathes out a sigh of relief when the woman finally walks away from him, going to stop her son from licking the ground, and turns to look at Jeongin.

He really does look like a little kid right now. Minho hopes he won't be too offended that he told a random stranger that he's a 12 year old.

3:11 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

Jeongking: This FUCKER

Jeongking: This absolute CLOWN of a person

Jeongking: Just told a random lady at the park that I'm twelve years old.

Jeongking: TWELVE!

Grandchan: Wait what

Seungtana: Who did what?

sungie: wait mINHO????

sungie: YOU TOLD SOMEONE THAT INNIE IS 12???

Mingo: Yeah lmao it was really funny actually

Mingo: The best part is that the woman I was talking to didn't even question it

sungie: OMG SJKSDFHD

Jeongking: NOT FUNNY! RUDE!

Jeongking: I will be filing an official complaint against you, bitch!

Mingo: Oh yeah? Maybe I would feel more threatened if you were actually old enough to ride the subway by yourself

Jeongking: WHATTHEFUCK

Jeongking: You're just jealous because I'm young and you're OLD!

Mingo: Oooh are you gonna write your complaint with crayon? Do I need to help you reach the shelf, little kid?

Jeongking: Maybe grandpa should go back to bed, it's getting past your bedtime

Mingo: Aww poor little boy hasn't learned to tell the time, shouldn't you be in kindergarten right now?

felixie: wait what did i miss

felixie: why are minho and innie fighting??

sungie: they met irl for the first time today sjdkjhdfhj

Seungtana: It's just a joke, they aren't actually fighting

felixie: oh okie good! ^_^

Jeongking: Because I am so adult and mature, I've decided to be the bigger person and end it here

Jeongking: Your weak insults do not affect me, peasant

Mingo: I don't think calling someone "peasant" really counts as being the bigger person, but sure

Mingo: You do you I guess :/

Jeongking: 구래 아저씨 ;p

Mingo: ...you think you're funny, don't you

hyunbro: so funny, huh!

Jeongking: the funniest! ^_^

Jeongking: anyway i'm going to hang out with beomgyu

Jeongking: minho, the next time i see you... It's On

Mingo: I'm Counting On It ;)

sungie: wait what's on???

sungie: pls dont tell me you're gonna physically fight each other

Mingo: Why fight physically when you can fight them with words, and cause 100x more damage?

felixie:

Mingo: ;)

sungie: okay... okay

sungie: anyway bye innie

sungie: minho…

sungie: see u soon i guess

Mingo: Wow I can really feel your enthusiasm!

sungie: see you soon minho ily MWAH i can't wait to meet you! ^_^ <3

Mingo: lmao k

sungie: RUDE

Chapter Text

5:27 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

sungie: an unstoppable force (me, trying to eat all the cheesecake in the fridge) VS an immoveable object (chan, who does not want me to overdose on cheesecake)

Mingo: That doesn't sound good

Mingo: Maybe don't do that?

sungie: TRAITOR!

Mingo: I'm a traitor just because I don't want you to overdose on cheesecake? :/

sungie: YES

Mingo: Suit yourself then ig

sungie: yes thank you for respecting my decisions ^_^

sungie:

Grandchan: Jisung PLEASE. I am trying to save you from death by cheesecake consumption

Seungtana: That would be a pretty cool way to die tbh

Grandchan: NOT WHAT HE NEEDS TO HEAR!!!

Grandchan: Jisung please... think about your future

sungie: the future where i can eat more cheesecake??? :D

Grandchan: NO!!!

sungie: < / 3

sungie: then i dont want a future

sungie: no thank you! that's nothing for me

Grandchan: I will ban you from your own kitchen.

sungie: okay but do you know what i have?

sungie:

sungie: you can't ban me from the room that holds the cheesecake!! that is impossible!

Jeongking: "the room that holds the cheesecake" LMAO

Changbin: Sorry for the topic change, but how many raccoon pictures do you actually have on your phone?

sungie: your name is so boring binnie

sungie: at least get a nickname

sungie set Changbin's name to binnie <3

binnie <3: ...was that absolutely necessary?

sungie: YES

sungie: and to answer your question, too many to count

sungie: i loaded up with raccoon pics yesterday

sungie: now i'm trying to create situations specifically so i can use my raccoon memes

binnie <3: Is that how you live your life? Trying to create situations that will fit certain memes?

sungie: yes actually

sungie: are you saying you don't do that???

binnie <3: No? Why would I?

sungie: uh

sungie: okay

sungie: but do you at least have an album in your camera roll for memes?

binnie <3: No??

sungie: what the heck

sungie: why not??

binnie <3: Why would I?????

sungie: then where do you get your memes from????

binnie <3: I-

binnie <3: I just go look for them if I think of one, but otherwise, I just

binnie <3: don't use memes unless a specific one comes to mind?

sungie: our lives are so different from each others, binnie

binnie <3: Yeah I can tell

Grandchan: STAY ON THE FUCKING COUCH PUP!!!

Grandchan: STAY.

sungie: :(

Mingo: LMAO are you still on about the cheesecake thing?

sungie: i just want a snack :(

sungie: but bang chan doesn't want me to thrive and be happy :((

Grandchan: I'm trying to save you from a cheesecake overdose

sungie: ;-;

Grandchan: If you eat all the cheesecake today, you won't have any for tomorrow

sungie: ...

sungie: that's true

binnie <3: wait Chan, are you in Jisung's dorm right now?

Grandchan: Didn't I already tell you that I was going here?

binnie <3: WHAT

binnie <3: I thought you were in the music studio??

Grandchan: No I told you I was going to hang out with Sungie

Grandchan: So you don't listen to me either? /j

Grandchan: Glad to know I'm respected around here! :/

sungie: i wanna have cheesecake tomorrow!!!

Grandchan: Yeah see, that means you can't eat it all today!

sungie: you have a point!

Grandchan: I know!

sungie: maybe i should listen to you!

Grandchan: Exactly!

sungie: i shouldn't eat all the cheesecake today!

Grandchan: That's what I've been saying!

Seungtana: So...

Seungtana: No death by cheesecake consumption?

sungie: not today, it seems ^_^

Grandchan: *not ANY day

sungie: i mean we'll have to see about that still! :p

Grandchan: ...

Grandchan: :/

6:13 pm

3RACHA (3)

SpearB: If yall are done with the cheesecake chaos, you can come to the usual studio

SpearB: I might have finished a verse for that latest track we were working on

CB97: Sure, we'll be there in 10!

J.One: innie came home

J.One: can i bring him to the music studio?

SpearB: Do you think he's gonna start chewing the cables?

J.One: why the fuck would he do that???

SpearB: Will he scream in the background when we try to record?

J.One: i mean... probably not

SpearB: Do you think he would provide honest, unbiased feedback if we ask him for it?

J.One: definitely.

J.One: actually, he might provide honest, unbiased feedback even if we DONT ask for it

J.One: trust me, he will not sugarcoat anything

CB97: Innie is soft! You make him sound so brutal

J.One: ajdshfhjsdg

J.One: i just mean that he is a very honest person! but you're right that he's soft

J.One: n e way we're coming to the studio now binnie! ^_^

SpearB: I'll be waiting!

9:01 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

binnie <3: In "ZONE" by 3RACHA, the voice that raps at 0:18 is different from the voice you hear at 1:48

binnie <3: This is a subtle nod to the fact that Jisung and I are two separate people, even though Jeongin couldn't tell our voices apart the first time he heard the song

felixie: SJHSDFSD

Seungtana: "A subtle nod" lol

Jeongking: okay there was absolutely NO reason to call me out like this

Jeongking: i'm tone deaf!! leave me alone!!

Mingo: You're literally a music major, the fuck do you mean you're tone deaf?

Jeongking: YES i'm a music major

Jeongking: YES i'm tone deaf

Jeongking: we exist!

sungie: innie i don't think you're tone deaf lmao

Jeongking: yes i am!! leave me alone 😤

binnie <3: Jeongin... Being able to tell two people's voices apart isn't even related to being tone deaf

binnie <3: Your reasoning makes no sense

Jeongking: YOU make no sense!!!

binnie <3: ...

Jeongking: sorry that was uncalled for

Jeongking: but!!

Jeongking: i may not have a good defense for this, i see that now, and your voices are so different, i have no idea how i didn't hear that the first time

Jeongking: sorry but i will not be answering any more questions on this topic in these trying times 😔

sungie: WHAT TRYING TIMES?? LMFAO

Jeongking: i've been through a lot today!!

Jeongking: first i became tone deaf, then i got called out in the group chat...

Jeongking: pls pray for me you guys 😔🤘

felixie: JSDKHFDH WHATS WITH THAT EMOJI????

Jeongking: FUCK that was the wrong hand emoji

Jeongking: i meant to put 🙏

sungie:

sungie: jeongin rn

Jeongking: YEAH THAT'S ME

felixie: oh wow back at it again with the rats i see

sungie: ...rats

felixie: *RACOONS

felixie: I MEAN RACCOONS!!!

binnie <3: "rAtS"

felixie: JDSKHFJDSHF

felixie: I MEANT TO SAY RACCOONS!!

sungie: rats

sungie: lix you called them RATS

felixie: IT WAS AN ACIDDENT

sungie: RATS

felixie: SORRYYYYY

sungie: i am HURT and UPSET by your DISRESPECTFUL comments /j

sungie: these babies are NOT rats!!

felixie: jsdhshfsfhsjf

Seungtana: Damn the group chat is really going through it today

felixie: my brain is failing me < / 3

felixie: i would like to issue a formal apology to all the raccoons out there

felixie: i see you, i hear you, i will not repeat this behavior again

sungie: on behalf of all the raccoons out there, i accept your apology <3

Mingo: I think Jisung is secretly three raccoons in a trench coat

binnie <3: You think?

binnie <3: I think it's not even a secret at this point

binnie <3: Everyone knows it

sungie: ;p

felixie: nooo jisung is a quokka!

sungie: i can be both!

sungie: i love raccoons and quokkas EQUALLY and i will support both communities! <3

felixie: yay! a win for equality everywhere all around the world! <3

Jeongking: love is love yall

Seungtana: Don't discriminate!

binnie <3: ...the fuck?

Chapter Text

5:39 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

Jeongking: This is it

Jeongking: my entire life has been leading to this moment

Jeongking: Jisung just left the dorm, I'm all by myself

Jeongking: It's time...

Jeongking: time to mess around with a ouija board and make sure our dorm gets haunted :p

binnie <3: Ghosts aren't real

Jeongking: you're literally a werewolf

Jeongking: what do you mean, ghosts aren't real???

binnie <3: I'm just saying! I don't think people would turn into ghosts when they die

Jeongking: but you're literally supernatural

Jeongking: a werewolf

binnie <3: Yes but what does that have to do with ghosts?

binnie <3: Werewolves aren't dead, we're just like any other living being

binnie <3: Unlike ghosts, because they're not real

felixie: ghosts are real and ive been haunted by one before :(

Jeongking: OKAY GUYS we're voting RIGHT NOW!

Jeongking: are ghosts real, yes or no?

felixie: yes

binnie <3: No, and I think it's pointless to have a vote about it

Mingo: They might be or they might not be

Mingo: I don't think there's any way for us to know

Seungtana: Agree with Minho

sungie: i like the idea of ghosts being real but i don't actually think they would go around haunting places even if they did exist

Grandchan: Wait did I miss something

Grandchan: Why are we having this discussion?

Jeongking: I'm gonna make sure mine and Jisung's dorm gets haunted!

sungie: wait hey nO YOU'RE NOT!!!

sungie: GIVE THE OUIJA BOARD BACK TO BEOMGYU!!!!

Mingo: How do you know it's Beomgyu's ouija board?

sungie: because innie has been talking about that shit for WEEKS!!

sungie: now i know exactly where beomgyu's dorm is

sungie: because i had to go over there and give him his ouija board back after jeongin "borrowed"it

Jeongking: I'm not sure why "borrowed" is in quotation marks

Jeongking: that's exactly what I did!

sungie: YOU CLIMBED IN THROUGH HIS WINDOW AND TOOK IT WHEN HE WASN'T HOME!!!

Jeongking: yeah, but i was planning on giving it back!!

Jeongking: in other words, i borrowed it!

sungie: YOU RAN THROUGH THE HALLWAY WHILE SINGING THE KIM POSSIBLE THEME SONG AND DOING SOMERSAULTS DOWN THE CORRIDOR

sungie: AND WHEN SOMEONE ASKED WHAT YOU WERE DOING, YOU JUST FROZE AND PRETENDED TO BE INVISIBLE

Seungtana: Omfg

felixie: BAHAHHAHAHHAHAHAH

binnie <3: JEONGIN??? SHJFDJHD

Jeongking: my intentions were good!!! and I always planned on giving it back to him after I was done with it!!!

sungie: OH YEAH?? YOU WOULD STILL GET ARRESTED FOR THEFT IF SOMEONE CAUGHT YOU

Jeongking: just because something is against the law doesn't mean it's illegal!!!

Jeongking: i did nothing wrong!!!

Mingo: Imagine someone on trial in court, and that's their main argument

Mingo: "Just because something is against the law doesn't make it illegal"

Mingo: Like oh yes you're absolutely right, theft isn't illegal, it's just against the law!

sungie: sjksdhfhjsdj

felixie: jeongin would not be a good lawyer

Jeongking: HEY????

Jeongking: i could never be a lawyer, i'd probably end up crying in court so you're not exactly wrong

Jeongking: bUT I'M STILL OFFENDED!!!!!

sungie: wait jeongin, you don't have the ouija board? right?

Jeongking: i mean...

sungie: JEONGIN

Jeongking: no i don't have it! not yet!

sungie: GOOD

sungie: don't steal it!!

sungie: and DON'T make our dorm haunted!!!!

Jeongking: but :(

sungie: no buts! i don't know how to banish spirits, and i'm not sharing my bed with a ghost

Jeongking: ok FINE

Jeongking: i'll ask beomgyu before i take the ouija board

sungie: NO!

Jeongking: you can't stop me! :p

felixie: can't stop me, can't stop me, can't stop me, OOOOOHOHOHOOOH

felixie: OH I BEEN CAUGHT UNDER THE SPOT SPOT SPOTLIGHT

felixie: I WANNA CAVE INTO THE DARK SIDE CALLING TO ME

felixie: THE ENDINGS OBVIOUS I KNOW IT'S NOT RIGHT

Grandchan: Huh?

sungie: ignore him, he's singing a twice song

felixie: CANT STOP ME, CANT STOP ME, CANT STOP ME

felixie: YOU PULL ME OVER TO THE RED RED RED LINE

felixie: I CAN'T ESCAPE IT YOU'RE MY WEAKNESS AND YOURE MY VICE

felixie: IN THE SHADOWS YOURE THE ONLY HIGHLIGHT

Jeongking: wait jisung where are you actually going? i forgot to ask

Jeongking: i was so busy thinking about my ouija board <3333

sungie: i'm going to meet up with minho and seungmin! ^_^

Jeongking: ooooh

felixie: oH????

6:02 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

felixie: THATS SUSPICIOUS

sungie: it literally is not

sungie: we're just going to a roller skate rink together

sungie: seungmin found it online and it looks like a really cool, retro inspired place!

sungie: they have a cafe too!!

felixie: SOUNDS LIKE A DATE TO ME

sungie: it's not a date smh

sungie: we're just friends

felixie: :(

8:45 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

Mingo: If you steal my phone to take selfies, you gotta deal with the consequences

Mingo:

Seungtana: I love how you pretend like you're exposing us or something, when you literally asked for permission before you sent that

felixie: awww omg youre so cute together, even though the quality is shit! <3

binnie <3: jiSUNG IS BLOND??? SINCE WHEN???

sungie: binnie... i was blond when i saw you yesterday too

sungie: i dyed it two days ago

binnie <3: yEAH WELL YOU WERE WEARING A HOODIE!! AND APPARENTLY I'M DUMB

Grandchan: That's news to you?

binnie <3: Hey!!! RUDE!!!

Grandchan: But yes that picture is so cute! <3

Grandchan: You're kind of matching with the headband and beanie!

sungie: it was actually kinda funny because minho was in all black

sungie: and he skated around like this professional

sungie: meanwhile, seung and i were pulling each other and stuff sjhfdjksf

Seungtana: Yeah and whenever Minho tried to get us to skate with him, we just grabbed his hands and stopped moving and said "pull me"

sungie: YEAH sjkhdsjgf

Jeongking: you sound like little kids

Mingo: They acted like little kids :/

Mingo: But I GUESS I can forgive them for it, because it was actually quite fun

felixie: aww nice! i'm glad u all had a good time <333

sungie: jeongin

sungie: i'm omw back to the dorm

sungie: is everything okay?

Jeongking: wdym ahahhahha why wouldn't it be okay??

sungie: ...that's suspicious

Jeongking: everything is fine hehe

Jeongking: no worries!

Seungtana: If your dorm is haunted you can stay over in my dorm

sungie: thanks <333

Grandchan: Wait are you still together irl?

sungie: no i just said goodbye to minho and seungmin <3

sungie: i'd love to stay over minnie, but i might have to save jeongin's life

sungie: maybe another time <3

Seungtana: Yeah <3

Jeongking: u don't have to save my life! me and the ghosts are just chilling!

sungie: BRB GOTTA BLAST

felixie: lmao

felixie: i think jisung is gonna have to learn how to banish spirits today

Grandchan: Yeah, seems like it!

felixie: lmfao

Chapter Text

11:00 am

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

Grandchan: Does anyone want candy?

Grandchan: My rents sent some pressies over from straylia, and there were a lot of lollies in there! :)

hyunbro: huh??

felixie: i can translate! :D

felixie: "my parents sent some presents over from australia, and there was a lot of candy in there"

hyunbro: omg felix

hyunbro: love me a bilingual man 😍

Grandchan: I-

felixie: thanks hyuni, i'm actually fluent in both english and australian! 😘

Grandchan: ...you know what, I'm going to ignore that

Grandchan: But does anyone want candy? :)

hyunbro: omg all 8 of us could meet irl and have candy together??

Grandchan: Yeah! That'd be fun!

felixie: HELL YEAH

Grandchan: I can send my address to everyone who doesn't already have it

Grandchan: And I have snacks!

Jeongking: those snacks are really selling it for me tbh

Mingo: I have sungie and minnie napping in my living room right now

Mingo: We might come over later but they need to wake up first

Grandchan: Yeah Changbin is barely awake either, so later is probably a good idea haha

binnie <3: iam Awake

binnie <3: dont eb rue

Grandchan: Oh good morning baby <3

binnie <3: :)

Mingo: I just woke up sungie & minnie and asked them about the candy

Mingo: They both want to come over

Grandchan: Okay nice!

Grandchan: Everyone is coming over then :)

hyunbro: yay!!!

felixie: can't believe i'm about to witness all this bullshit happen irl!!

felixie: i'm so excited!!! :D

hyunbro: I mean we've met each other before

felixie: not all 8 at the same time!!!!

felixie: this is a brand new type of chaos, and i am soooo excited!!!!!!

Mingo: You're probably gonna change your mind once you see what actually happens when the eight of us meet

felixie: lol

felixie: i mean it will be chaos, yes, but it can't be THAT bad

Mingo: Uh, I think you're gonna change your mind

Mingo: I mean, I only have two people in my apartment right now and that's enough for me to consider moving to the other side of the planet

felixie: what why?? i thought you liked jisung & seungmin?? :0

Mingo: Yeah, well, sungie & minnie are currently arguing about something very disturbing

felixie: omg what??

sungie: yo

sungie: it's not a fetish if i'm murdering people because of it

Grandchan: Jisung... what

binnie <3: whatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuckwhatthefuck

sungie: okay but like

sungie: i don't have a fetish for pizza delivery boys if i'm specifically targeting pizza delivery boys to murder them

Grandchan: That really does NOT clear anything up

sungie: it's not a fetish if it's for murder!!

binnie <3: WHAT TTHE FUCK

Seungtana: For context, this is related to the conversation that Jisung and I are having irl

Seungtana: But yeah no, it absolutely could be a fetish!!!

Seungtana: You could have a fetish for murdering people! Maybe that turns you on

sungie: but what about the pizza delivery boys, seungmin!! why would i target them if my fetish is murdering people??

Seungtana: Maybe you just think they're easier to murder! Or maybe you also have a fetish for pizza delivery boys too!

binnie <3: I REFUSE TO BELIEVE THIS IS AN ACTUAL CONVERSATION YOU GUYS ARE HAVING

felixie: yeah what the fuck???

Seungtana: One person can have more than one fetish!

Seungtana: So maybe you're turned on by pizza delivery boys, and murder

Mingo: This is what I've had to listen to for the past few minutes

Mingo: It's kind of impressive that they've only been awake for five minutes and are already this level of chaotic

sungie: but you can't KNOW that, seungmin!!

Seungtana: No but it's a possibility!

sungie: then why would they let the pizza delivery guy get away!

sungie: shouldn't they just murder him immediately, if that's their fetish??

Seungtana: Maybe they like to play with their prey before murdering him

sungie: oh god

sungie: you mean like foreplay??

Seungtana: Yeah, exactly!

binnie <3: WHAT THE FUCK GUYS

hyunbro: Can we PLEASE have some context for this?

hyunbro: why are you having this discussion.

Seungtana: Red velvet's music video for "Peek-a-boo"

sungie: yup

sungie: that's all the context you need

Seungtana: Maybe they have a fetish for pizza delivery boys and murder

sungie: maybe they don't have that

Seungtana: But they could!

sungie: okay yeah sure, they could, but they probably don't

sungie: i mean, they never sleep with the delivery boy

sungie: and we never actually see them murder him

Seungtana: We see them practicing to murder him though

sungie: how do you know that!! what if their fetish is actually the weapons!! huh!! ever thought about that??

Seungtana: Oh damn you're right

sungie: i'm sure a weapon fetish is an actual thing, it has to be

Seungtana: Okay but weapons are so attractive

sungie: you know what? you're absolutely right

Seungtana: Especially if they're strapped to your body

sungie: mmmmm... yessss

binnie <3: WHAT

binnie <3: THE

binnie <3: FUCK???

Grandchan: I am interrupting because I don't think any of us (except Minho) want to witness this any longer!

Grandchan: Everyone can come over at 2 pm and I will give you candy, okay? :)

Jeongking: yay candy!

hyunbro: sounds good!!

sungie: minho cooked for us yesterday!!!!

sungie: you know what

sungie: seeing him handle that knife?

sungie: fucking fantastic

Seungtana: Love me a man with a weapon

sungie: hell yeah!

Mingo: ;)

felixie: isn't minho ace?

felixie: i'm pretty sure minho does not want to fuck you guys with a knife

sungie: I NEVER SAID HE WOULD!!!

Mingo: To be fair, I make a lot of sex jokes and I'm comfortable talking about it

Mingo: It's not like they're bringing this up out of nowhere

Seungtana: Just because he's ace doesn't mean he's not attractive with a knife

Mingo: I was literally just cooking, but sure

Mingo: Whatever you say ;)

sungie: *cooking ATTRACTIVELY

Seungtana: Yeah exactly!

11:44 am

memes n schemes (private chat)

felixie: full offense, but how the fuck do you say all these things about minho and seungmin without confessing to them??

felixie: how the heck are you not dating them yet???

sungie: it's a talent (✿◠‿◠)

felixie: yeah i can see that

sungie: anyway bye see u later for the candy <3

felixie: yeah oki bye <3

Chapter Text

2:16 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

sungie: you know what i want to do?

sungie: run away

sungie: because life Feels Bad

felixie: you know what we're not gonna do when we feel like this?

felixie: That™

sungie: why not? :(

felixie: running away isn't a problem solver, it's a problem creator

felixie: it might feel better in the moment but it won't be good in the long run

sungie: ugh stop making sense i hate it when you do that /hj

felixie: you know what we ARE gonna do when we feel like this?

felixie: talk about it, bitch!!

sungie: ...wow you're so encouraging

felixie: i can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not so i'm just gonna take that at face value and say thanks!

felixie: but ANYWAY

sungie: i was half joking

sungie: i wouldn't say it's encouraging to call someone "bitch", but somehow, y ou made it work??

felixie: hihi yeah i'm talented like that (✿◠‿◠)

sungie: lmao true

felixie: but hey i said we were gonna talk about feelings!!!

felixie: how are you feeling?

sungie: if you want me to answer that honestly, it would take 3 hours and several graphs or other illustrative examples

felixie: okay but if you had to summarize your feelings? two sentences at most

sungie: okay

sungie: i'm depressed about the curse and i think it's so useless for me to have feelings for people right now, when i know it can't last

sungie: and i'm stressed about potentially telling someone about this

felixie: good job, thanks for telling me! ^_^

felixie: and yeah that's hard

sungie: there have been so many times when i'm hanging out with chan and binnie, and i thought i should tell them

sungie: i really wanted to tell them

sungie: but then i couldn't do it because i wasn't prepared and i hadn't planned the convo, so it was too much

sungie: but i really wanted to

felixie: start there, then

felixie: make a plan

felixie: you don't have to think that you're actually going to do it, but write down all the things you want to say

sungie: that's a good idea

felixie: then maybe you'll feel more prepared to tell them

sungie: oh

sungie: i think i'm gonna do that, actually

felixie: okay good! ^_^

felixie: but have you thought any more about minho and seungmin?

sungie: nope :p

felixie: but are you going to??

sungie: i mean minho already knows that i'm cursed in some way

sungie: tbh i'm surprised that he hasn't asked more about it

felixie: minho is actually a very chill person, if he trusts that you're dealing with it then he's not gonna force you to tell him about it

sungie: yeah i've noticed, he's very nice

felixie: oh? ;)

sungie: but i don't have time to have a crush

sungie: not on him OR on seungmin

felixie: okay but have you considered the fact that you can't control your own feelings??

felixie: and maybe you should let other people be involved in making decisions that affect them??

sungie: they're not affected by whether or not i have a crush on them though???

felixie: but i mean like, you could be dating them

felixie: or confess to them

felixie: or be boyfrineds <3

sungie: why?

felixie: /€&(#)=!))°("/

felixie: because that's what you do when you like someone romantically???

felixie: what do you mean, WHY?

sungie: isn't that just a waste of time?

sungie: i'm leaving in a few months anyway

felixie: just because things will end, doesn't mean they're not worth doing

felixie: you don't have to be miserable for these next few months

sungie: i don't need to hurt seungmin and minho, either

felixie: they won't be hurt from spending time with you, BITCH!

felixie: obviously idk what their feelings are so i can't say that if you ask them out, everything would work out perfectly, but you're allowed to be happy!!!

felixie: temporary doesn't equal meaningless!!

felixie: nothing lasts forever, but that doens't mean it's useless

felixie: the sun doesn't rise just to set again!!! a book doesn't begin just to end!!!

felixie: BE HAPPY NOW, AND THEN LATER, YOU WILL HAVE HAPPY MEMORIES TO LOOK BACK ON, BITCH!!

felixie: AND SEUNGMIN AND MINHO AND CHAN AND CHANGBIN AND EVERYONE ELSE WILL FEEL GRATEFUL FOR THE TIME THEY GOT TO SPEND WITH YOU!!!

sungie: ...that would be so poetic, if only you didn't say "bitch" at the end of it :/

felixie: but did i lie?? did i lie??? did i fucking LIE?????

sungie: felixhdsgfshfjs

felixie: NO I DID NOT!!! I DID NOT LIE!!!

sungie: here i was, trying not to have any feelings while my heart was being a rebel and having feelings even though i didn't want to

sungie: then i talk to you and wow.

sungie: i need to think about this now

felixie: take your time! ^_^

sungie: thank you <3

felixie: no problem, think about this and make a plan for how to tell binnie and chan, and then you can think some more about the minho/seungmin situation <3 take it at your pace <3

sungie: <333

4:31 pm

3RACHA (3)

J.One: hey frienderinos

J.One: i have something kinda serious i need to tell you

CB97: Okay, when is a good time? I'm free now

J.One: well preferably today

J.One: or tonight ish

J.One: maybe

J.One: idk

J.One: if you can?

SpearB: Should we come over to your dorm? Or do you wanna come to our apartment?

SpearB: Or meet up in the music studio maybe?

J.One: oh uhm

J.One: can i come over to your apartment?

SpearB: Yeah sure!

CB97: We literally just did laundry so that blanket you like is super clean!

J.One: yay blanket!! :D

J.One: i'll be over soon then?

CB97: Yeah sure! Do you wanna order food when you get here?

J.One: you can order if you want, i don't really care

J.One: i'm not that hungry

CB97: Oki pup, see you soon <3

J.One: <3

Chapter Text

Jisung is sitting on the couch in front of Chan and Changbin, swaddled in a blanket.

Every word that passes over his lips feels heavy, and by the time he finishes talking, he's still tense from anxiety, but he also feels exhausted.

Chan and Changbin are staring at him. Jisung isn't looking at them, but he can feel it. All the words that he prepared so carefully have now been spoken, put out into the open for his friends to hear, and Jisung is exhausted.

His plan doesn't go further than this moment. Jisung had tried to prepare for follow-up questions they might have about the curse, or how to handle their potential reactions, but his mind blanked whenever he tried to imagine how they would take this.

When too much time passes and they still haven't said anything, Jisung can't stop himself from lifting his gaze to look at their faces.

He meets Changbin's eyes, and they're wet.

"No, no, Binnie... Don't cry, you're gonna make me cry too!" Jisung hurries to say, waving his hands around and almost dropping his blanket at the same time. He adjusts it quickly, before turning back to them again. "I'm not sad about this, I've known my whole life..."

"Is there really nothing that can be done?" Chan asks, and Jisung stops.

He shakes his head slowly.

"No. I've tried, and it, there doesn't seem to be anything. I have to go back to the faerie realm in a few months, and then I'll try to solve it from there, but there's no way of breaking the curse."

Both Chan and Changbin look like they're close to crying, and just the sight of it is making Jisung tear up too.

"I really didn't mean to hide it from you, but I knew it might hurt you to know and I just, I didn't want to make the last time we have together so sad..."

"I'm glad that we know", Changbin says. He pauses for a moment. "I... Maybe I'll be more upset later, when I'm not as shocked, but yeah. I would rather find out now than later, so I'm glad you told us."

"Have you really always known?" Chan asks, looking at Jisung.

Jisung only hesitates for a second before nodding.

He hopes Chan won't be upset by this, and that he won't think Jisung was being dishonest with them for so long. After all, they've been friends for most of their lives, and Jisung has known about this curse the entire time. Chan has every right to be upset with him.

While he's busy worrying over that, Chan gets up from the armchair and walks over to where Jisung is sitting on the couch.

"Wha-..." Jisung starts, but before he can finish, Chan puts his arms around him, and the rest of Jisung's sentence is muffled by his shoulder.

He stays still for a moment. Then, his brain catches up with the situation at hand, and he lifts his arms to hug him back.

It's not the end. Jisung knows this, knows that there will be more for them to talk about, more questions for him to answer, but in this moment, he feels safe.

7:31 am

memes n schemes (private chat)

sungie: It's Been Done

sungie: i'm tired af from last night

sungie: and i'm pretty sure my eyes are still swollen

sungie: it feels like we spent all night crying

felixie: wait so you actually did it? you told chan and binnie?

sungie: yea

sungie: they both took it pretty well tbh

sungie: it was kinda nice to just cry together like that

felixie: i'm happy for you

felixie: and it's good that they know! now they can support you better

sungie: there's really nothing they can do though

felixie: i meant emotionally

sungie: oh

sungie: yeah true

felixie: i'm sure they appreciate that you told them about it, and i'm proud of you <3

sungie: thanks

sungie: my brain is a bit empty atm

sungie: talk to u later? <3

felixie: yeah sure! i'll call you

sungie: okie

Chapter Text

11:35 am

3RACHA (3)

J.One: cuddles?

SpearB: hELL YEAH CUDDLES!

CB97: I'm in the music studio but I will come home for cuddles

SpearB: Yeah I'm not home either but I will RUN if it means cuddle time

J.One: oki i'm breaking into your apartment then ^_^

J.One: see you there!

SpearB: You have a spare key, there's no need to break in

J.One: even if i use that key to enter, i am still breaking into the apartment on an emotional level

J.One: my feelings are valid!!

SpearB: ...okay sure

CB97: That's still not a break-in, though?

J.One: yes it is

J.One: my experience is valid

CB97: sjdshkf

SpearB: Sure whatever, get ready for cuddles!!!

2:56 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

sungie: let's put up a play together

sungie: it'll be fun! ^_^

Seungtana: Sure, which play?

sungie: i think we should do romio and juliet

Seungtana: His name is spelled Romeo

sungie: no

Seungtana: ...what

sungie: i don't think so ^_^

Seungtana: I wasn't trying to argue with you, that's literally the spelling of his name

Seungtana: You can't just disagree with facts

sungie: yes i can

sungie: i prefer romio

sungie: so i decide that's his new name! :D

Seungtana: That's not how names work though???

sungie: yes it is!

Seungtana: You can't just change the way someone spells their name, it doesn't work like that!

sungie: i am the god of my own life, i make the rules of my own reality

Seungtana: This isn't about your own reality though??? This is another person we're talking about??????

sungie: you didn't know romio personally

sungie: you can't tell me i'm wrong about this

Seungtana: Yeah but neither did you

sungie: i understand him better than you ever will, and i undertsand that he would have prefered it if his name was spelled romio!!

Seungtana: What do you mean you udnerstand him?? You mean like, emotionally???

sungie: carnally

Seungtana: ...

sungie: i also understand him emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually

Seungtana: I would like to know what you actually know about Romeo as a character

sungie: i literally know everything there is to know about the guy

Seungtana: Okay, then tell me one thing

sungie: well, his name is romio...

Seungtana: See, that's already false! The one thing you know about him isn't even correct!

sungie: I AM LITERALLY QUOTING HIM DIRECTLY! HE HIMSELF SAID HIS NAME IS ROMIO!

Seungtana: NO HE DIDN'T

Seungtana: TELL ME THE EXACT PAGE NUMBER WHERE HE SAYS THAT!

sungie: EVERY PAGE!!!

Seungtana: OF WHICH BOOK??

sungie: ALL OF THEM!!!

Seungtana: NO

sungie: YES

Grandchan: ...guys? What's going on?

Binnie <3: I think jisung is in the mood to argue with everyone today

Binnie <3: he gets like this sometimes

Seungtana: YOU CAN'T CHANGE FACTS

sungie: IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT YOU ARE INCORRECT!!!

Seungtana: I LITERALLY HAVE PROOF THAT HIS NAME IS SPELLED ROMEO!!!!!

Grandchan: Not to sound pessimistic but there's no way you're winning this, Seungmin

Grandchan: Save yourself the effort

Seungtana: ...

sungie: i like romio :)

Seungtana: :/

felixie: ...so i guess this means we're not putting up a play together?

Seungtana: Not in the foreseeable future, no

Seungtana: Unless Jisung admits that Romeo is spelled Romeo?

sungie: romio :))

Seungtana: Okay, I guess not

felixie: sad :(

6:25 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

felixie: how are things with chan and binnie?

sungie: i feel like i've cuddled them more in the past 24 hours than i ever did before

sungie: but we're good?

felixie: why the question mark

sungie: we haven't really discussed the curse more than when i told them about it

sungie: they still seem kinda worried

sungie: and overprotective

felixie: don't know if you're noticed but they've always been worried about you and been overprotective!

sungie: well yeah but this is a new level

sungie: binnie started crying earlier when i got a papercut :/

felixie: oh damn

sungie: yeah

sungie: but it's still recent news to them, they're not used to the curse in the same way you and i are

sungie: i mean, we've both known our whole lives

sungie: so i'm guessing chan and binnie might calm down in a few days

felixie: you're right, and you should give them time to process this at their own pace!

sungie: yeah!

felixie: there are still a few months before you have to go back to the faerie realm

felixie: and we don't know what will happen when you get there, maybe you'll be able to leave soon again

sungie: i don't wanna get my hopes up but yeah, we don't really know anything :]

felixie: so let's just Vibe for now <3

felixie: then we can go rage or something

sungie: ajkhdsgfs???

felixie: i'm serious

felixie: i'm gonna rage when my birth parents come to steal you😠

sungie: it's technically not stealing since i'm bound to them by magic??

felixie: TECHNICALLY, i don't give a single fuck!!!

sungie: okay sjdshkfkjh

felixie: i will start biting people

sungie: i'm not sure how that will help but uuh

sungie: i guess i appreciate the sentiment?

felixie: yeah ^_^

felixie: wait i'm gonna ask the rest of the gc

6:49 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

felixie: if something happened to jisung, would u guys join me in fighting and biting literally every single person we see?

Seungtana: Yes

Mingo: Oh yeah, definitely

Jeongking: nothing even has to happen to jisung

Jeongking: i'm down to just start biting people!

hyunbro: i guess i'm on board too, but why the question? is jisung okay??

felixie: thanks guys! ^o^

felixie: and don't worry hyuni, i'm just proving a point <3

hyunbro: okay then <3

sungie: good to know guys, but please don't start biting people!

felixie: u can't stop me

felixie: these teeth are sharp and ready to Bite!! 😈

sungie: nothing has even happened to me, u don't have a reason to bite anyone

Jeongking: do we really need a reason?

Jeongking: my reason is that i feel like doing it

felixie: yeah same!!

Grandchan: ...I feel like we kinda lost track of what this conversation was supposed to be about

Grandchan: Maybe don't bite people?

Binnie <3: Don't lie Channie, you would bite EVERYONE if it was to protect jisung

sungie: why have u stopped capitalizing my name?? :(

Binnie <3: Have you ever capitalized my name a single time in your life?

sungie: yeah i've probably done it on accident at least once!!

Binnie <3: That doesn't count :/

sungie: but binnieeeee :(

sungie: i never capitalize anything (only for Memes or Dramatic Effect!!), it's nothing personal against you :((

Binnie <3: Tbh I didn't have a reason to stop capitalizing your name, the vibes just felt right?

Binnie <3: But then when you asked about it I decided that maybe I should make it seem like I was insulting you :)

sungie: WHY???

Binnie <3: For fun!

sungie: CHAN

sungie: BINNIE IS BEING MEAN TO ME :((

Grandchan: I will order a pizza for us to share if you both put your phones away right now

sungie: OMG YES

Binnie <3: Sir yessir!!!

felixie: i'm not even surprised that this convo fell off the tracks so fast

felixie: tbh, i don't think it was ever on the tracks to begin with

Mingo: very true

Jeongking: lol

Chapter Text

5:18 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

felixie: ew i hate germs

hyunbro: why???

felixie: disgusting 🤢

hyunbro: what why???

felixie: theyre just

felixie: not nice i guess?

felixie: unhygienic

felixie: Bad™

hyunbro: what did they ever do to you???

hyunbro: what is this slander????

felixie: i hate germs theyre disgusting

felixie: its not slander if its true

hyunbro: thats so rude though?

felixie: its not like they have feelings lmao

hyunbro: WOAH what the fuck Felix???

felixie: THEY LITERALLY DONT

felixie: LMAO

felixie: why are you asking so much? lol

hyunbro: youre just gonna hate on them for no reason???

felixie: i-

felixie: hyunjin. WHAT

felixie: is there anyone who actually likes germs??

hyunbro: Yes??? thats such a dumb question

felixie: hyunjin WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT

felixie: LMFAO

hyunbro: youre just gonna hate on all of germany like this??

felixie: HYUNJINSKFKFJKDLFJFJ

felixie: OHMYSGIS U CANT BRWTAGE

felixie: SHKFKFHWKFFJIROSKJALSJFLQAKFKE

hyunbro: ???

felixie: YOU THOUGHT I WAS TALKING ABOUT PEOPLE FROM GERMANY????

hyunbro: yeah? you said germs

hyunbro: WAIT.....

felixie: LMFAOOOOOOO

hyunbro: oh. my god

hyunbro: i just realized

felixie: THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYSJDKDK

hyunbro: I THOUGHT YOU MEANT GERMANS!!!!

felixie: NO

hyunbro: WELL YEAH I KNOW THAT NOW!!!!

hyunbro: shut up

felixie: KSDJFDSHFJGDJDSFZJ

sungie: felix literally fell off his bed from laughing too much

sungie: also hyunjin that was funny lmfao

hyunbro: I tried my best but reading comprehension was not on my side today 😔

sungie: rip hyunjin's reading comprehension, u will be missed <3

Jeongking: omfg

Jeongking: felix hates all of germany CONFIRMED

Jeongking: (confirmed by hyunjin, who doesn't have any reading comprehension)

felixie: SJKSAHDSHDSJ

Seungtana: We have once again proved that Hyunjin is not a reliable source for anything

hyunbro: HEY

hyunbro: yes i am super very REALLY reliable!!! when i want to be!!!

Seungtana: But how often do you actually want to be?

hyunbro: ...no comment

hyunbro: ANYGAYS!!

hyunbro: we are having a movie night this friday

hyunbro: ALL of us

felixie: ooh nice! :D

hyunbro: that is not a question btw, the movie night is happening.

hyunbro: but if anyone isn't free on friday or needs to reschedule then please let me know, it won't be a problem! ^_^

Seungtana: You would not do well as a dictator

hyunbro: i would do GREAT as a dictator!!!

Seungtana: You would cry on your first day, and even if you were *technically* the dictator you would just ask everyone else for advice so it would end up being a democracy anyway

hyunbro: hey no i absolutely could be a dictator!!! just watch me!!!

hyunbro: i'm gonna start by taking over this gc!!!

felixie: uuuh, how?

felixie: who's the leader here?

sungie: lix made the chat so does that mean you're gonna steal his admin prvielvieges?

Seungtana: ...is that your attempt at spelling "privileges"?

sungie: yeah! u guessed it right!! :D

Seungtana: Oh! It wasn't that bad, I mean I understood what you wanted to say!

sungie: HECK YEAH FUCK LANGUAGE AND SPELLING!!!!

sungie: hyuni, your first act as the new dictator should be to get rid of all the correct spellings!!

hyunbro: okay! i'll do that!

Seungtana: Literally doing exactly what I said you would do

Seungtana: Taking advice from your friends and not being a very dicky dictator :/

hyunbro: HEY i'm still the dictator!!!!

Binnie <3: I think Chan is more like this group chat's leader

Binnie <3: He always organizes us and stuff

sungie: he buys us snacks

Binnie <3: Exactly like a good leader should!!

hyunbro: oh wait i don't wanna steal chan's position, he's nice and doesn't deserve that

hyunbro: and i really don't wanna spend my money buying snacks for everyone here

hyunbro: yall are menaces :/

Grandchan: I can't tell if this is a compliment to me or not...?

Binnie <3: Tbh it's a bit of both

Binnie <3: at least we haven't said anything offensive yet!!

Grandchan: "Yet" :/

sungie: bang chan best leader!!!

lixie: BANG CHAN BEST LEADER

Mingo: Aside from buying us snacks, he's also really good at getting Changbin to do things

Mingo: No one else has been able to get Changbin to peel potatoes without resorting to physical violence

hyunbro: omg true!!

Binnie <3: hEY??? IS THIS SLANDER????

hyunbro: yes

hyunbro: u deserve it

Binnie <3: Hey can we go back to talking about how Hyunjin got "germs" and "Germans" mixed up?

hyunbro: nO WAIT STOP

hyunbro: THAT WAS A MOMENT OF WEAKNESS!!!! U CAN'T HOLD THAT AGAINST ME!!!!!!

Binnie <3: Maybe get some better reading comprehension then!! Or replace those last two braincells of yours, they're clearly exhausted

hyunbro: at least i have braincells!!

hyunbro: can't say the same about you :/

lixie: OOOOOH

Binnie <3: Just because you can't correctly identify a braincell doesn't mean I don't have any!!

Binnie <3: I mean, u couldn't tell the difference between people from germany and germs

hyunbro: HEY STOP BRINGING THAT UP

hyunbro: YOURE FALSIFYING EVIDENCE RIGHT NOW!!!!

Binnie <3: Lmao no I'm literally not

Grandchan: SO, about the movie night on Friday!

Grandchan: We could have it in mine and Binnie's apartment, I think that fits all of us the easiest! :)

sungie: make sure my blanket is clean pls!!

Grandchan: Of course! <3

Grandchan: We can put it in the dryer before you get here so it's warm too

sungie: yay!! :D

sungie: thanks channie ily!! <3

Grandchan: No problems pup <3

Mingo: Can I share blanket with you Sungie? ;)

sungie: yeah sure!! :D <3

sungie: seung, do u also wanna share with us?

Seungtana: Okay!

sungie: omg yay <333

lixie: wow look at this

lixie: chan successfully stopped a fight!!

Jeongking: chan best leader

lixie: bang chan best leader indeed ^o^

lixie: also no one has objected to friday movie night so i'm guessing everyone is actually free?

Binnie <3: sungie and seungmin and minho will be sharing a blanket, me and chan live there, it was hyunjin's idea, you just indirectly confirmed that you're coming, so the only person who hasn't somehow accepted it is Innie

hyunbro: I CANT BELIEVE THE ONLY NAME U CAPITALIZED IN THAT ENTIRE SENTENCE WAS INNIE'S!!!

hyunbro: the complete and utter disrespect, smh

Jeongking: I deserve it more

Jeongking: but yeah friday movie night sounds good! i wanna watch totoro

hyunbro: that sounds great!! i love totoro

Binnie <3: Yeah let's go with Innie's idea!

Grandchan: Nice!

Grandchan: idk if it's on netflix but we have that movie anyway bc it's great <3

lixie: maybe chan is the official leader here, but innie has the true power

sungie: youre right

sungie: no one DARES go against innie

Jeongking: I mean, there's a reason my name in this gc is Jeongking :)

lixie: yes your majesty

lixie: we love you <3

Jeongking: who doesn't? lol

sungie: omg

lixie: u know what? you're right

lixie: i'm not even joking

Jeongking: why would you be

lixie: i love you jeongin <3

Jeongking: I know

Jeongking: thanks

lixie: sjsdkhfjh

Chapter Text

11:25 am

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

sungie: guess what i just learned!!

sungie: MINHO BLOCKED SEUNGMIN'S NUMBER

hyunbro: omg spill the tea!?? is there drama between them?? :0

lixie: love the whole "evil lovers" thing they have going on

lixie: and i love how ji is just vibing in the middle of all that, acting innocent or whatever

Mingo: In my defense, I had a really good reason for blocking him

hyunbro: oh really?🤔

hyunbro: what was the reason?

Mingo: Seungmin said, and I quote

Mingo: "What are you gonna do? Block me? ;)"

Mingo: So naturally, I just HAD to block him after that!

lixie: oh yeah that makes sense

hyunbro: okay you know what, I don't blame you for that, he asked for it

sungie: omg the winky face

sungie: seung really had it coming

Binnie <3: What was the context for that though? What were you two talking about for him to challenge you to block him?

Seungtana: It wasn't meant to be taken as a challenge :/

Seungtana: I was just teasing

Mingo: well that sounds dumb! I chose to take it as a challenge instead ;)

Seungtana: :/

Mingo: And we were discussing the morality of making feet illegal

Mingo: I think they should be btw

Binnie <3: I'm sorry, WHAT???

sungie: oookay

sungie: and what were your conclusions?

Mingo: I think they should be but Seungmin said no because everyone has feet

Mingo: But people also have nipples and sex organs but we've made those illegal, so why not feet too?

hyunbro: apologies for my ignorance, but what's wrong with feet??

Mingo: Imagine all the places your feet have been!! It should be illegal to show feet

Mingo: Showing feet should be shameful

felixie: ohhhh i thought u meant it should be illegal to HAVE feet aksjdhkh

felixie: this makes more sense tho

Binnie <3: I can't tell if you're serious or not???

Seungtana: His hatred for feet is real, the debate is just for fun

Seungtana: And I think feet are a normal part of the human body so it would make more sense to allow people to show their nipples!

felixie: what does that even have to do with anything lol

Seungtana: We're talking about which body parts we're allowed to expose in public, that's the connection

Mingo: Actually, men can walk around without a shirt on in public without repercussions!!

Mingo: Nipples are only a problem when they're on a woman's body

Seungtana: It should be equal!

Mingo: Yes!! I agree!! Men shouldn't be allowed to walk around shirtless, either

Mingo: and feet should be covered at all times!!!

Seungtana: NO

Mingo: Fuck feet!!!

sungie: no?? don't fuck feet??

Mingo: I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

Mingo: omfg jisung

Binnie <3: Kinda sounds like Minho has a foot fetish...

Mingo: OH GOD NO

Mingo: SEO CHANGBIN.

Mingo: I'm giving you ten seconds to start running.

Binnie <3: whats''????

Binnie <3: hey minho swhere are you????

sungie: lmao

felixie: rip binnie u will be missed <3

Binnie <3: MINHO????

Mingo: That's 10 seconds, I'm coming for you now. :)

Grandchan: Okay so while they're busy with that, I'll take the chance to remind everyone of our movie night later today!

Grandchan: I have no classes in the afternoon so you guys can come over whenever

Jeongking: I'M MOVING IN UNDER YOUR BED!!!

Grandchan: NO!!!!

Jeongking: YOU CAN'T STOP ME IF YOU CAN'T FIND ME :D

Grandchan: You just said that you will be under my bed, so that won't be too hard lol

Jeongking: oh fuck youre right

Jeongking: but ONCE I'VE FOUND ANOTHER PLACE TO HIDE, U WON'T BE ABLE TO FIND ME!!!

Grandchan: How are you gonna survive if you can't ever come out of hiding?

Jeongking: i will live my life when you aren't home, i can just steal your snacks :p

Jeongking: i'm sure it won't be too hard

Binnie <3: You underestimate the amount of time Chan can spend in front of his laptop working on music

Jeongking: ...oh shit

Binnie <3: If you have to wait for Chan to leave the apartment everytime you wanna come out, you might be stuck in there for a while

Jeongking: damn

Jeongking: maybe living in your walls isn't the best idea i've had :/

Grandchan: I'm glad you could realize that!

Jeongking: But it's still a good idea and i still wanna freeload off of you guys! :D

Grandchan: NO!!

Jeongking: lol u can't stop me

Jeongking: anyway what snacks are yall bringing to movie night?

felixie: i made brownies ^o^

Jeongking: OMG I LOVE YOU

Jeongking: it's official, felix is my favorite!

felixie: hehe ^_^

sungie: BROWNIES!!!!! <333

Binnie <3: Ooooh Felix is baking?

Binnie <3: Felix is my favorite too

Grandchan: I think Lix is everyone's favorite tbh

Binnie <3: yah true

Binnie <3: Btw where did Minho and Seungmin go?

Binnie <3: I haven't been hunted for sport yet, so I'm guessing they're sorting their shit out?

sungie: they stopped arguing actually!! :D

Binnie <3: Oh? How do you know??

sungie: because i'm with them in real life, duh

sungie: and i'm such a smart, clever person, i managed to distract them from the dumb argument!!

Grandchan: ...normally I would be impressed, but you're giving off very Ominous Vibes right now

Binnie <3: What did you do to them????

sungie: DON'T BE MEAN, i didn't do anything to them!!

sungie: i just came up with a better, more interesting activity for them to do!!

Grandchan: That sounds worrying...

felixie: minho and seungmin promised to taste test for me though :(

felixie: sungie, where did you send them? and can u pls get them back to me?

sungie: basement

felixie: they're in the basement?? why??

sungie: i told them it was haunted

sungie: they decided to "investigate" XD

felixie: ohhh... do you think they'll answer their phones if i call them though?

sungie: you should probably call minho, he's more likely to be on his phone during this investigation! seungmin is the type of person to take this seriously and turn on "do not disturb"

hyunbro: so you're saying that minho isn't taking the demon hunt seriously?

sungie: uh

sungie: probably not tbh :p

sungie: call it a gut feeling, but i don't think minho is taking this very seriously at all

Binnie <3: ... Minho is literally updating his insta story right now

sungie: yes, so?

Binnie <3: ...you could have just said that's how you found out

Binnie <3: You saw it on his instagram story, you didn't have a "gut feeling"

sungie: why would i expose my investigative methods to you??!

sungie: maybe my gut feeling was based on what i saw on his insta story, but it's still a gut feeling!!

Binnie <3: ??? No

sungie: u can't tell me i'm wrong about this binnie, a gut feeling can be based on facts!! :(

Binnie <3: I mean yeah, I GUESS so, but then you don't have to say that it's a gut feeling? You literally have facts backing you up on this

Binnie <3: Gut feelings aren't supposed to be factual conclusions

sungie: ANYWAY

sungie: i will taste test for u instead lix!! :D

felixie: okay!! come to my dorm :D <3

sungie: omw!! ^_^ <3

Grandchan: ...I get the feeling that ji was purposely getting those two out of the way just to get access to Lix's baking

Grandchan: Just a gut feeling

Binnie <3: Oh yeah, he definitely did :/

sungie: u got no proof :P

Grandchan: Either way, see you tonight! Good luck with the baking Lixie! <3

felixie: thanks!! ^o^

Chapter Text

7:45 pm

Lightly toasted marshmallow lmao (private chat)

Seungmin: Ji told me that you (finally!!) unblocked me so now I'm here to bother you! :)

Seungmin: When are you actually gonna ask him out?

Minho: Shut up

Seungmin: shUt Up XD

Minho: Bitch...

Seungmin: BiTcH XD

Minho: See, this is exactly why I blocked you

Minho: There is clearly something wrong with you :/

Seungmin: *pouts cutely*

Minho: sTOP IT WITH YOUR FUCKIN ROBLOX REFERENCES OMFG

Seungmin: I just wanna know when you're confessing to him!

Minho: How do you even know about that??

Seungmin: I have eyes

Seungmin: Duh

Minho: My finger is itching to block you again

Seungmin: Then why don't you? lmao

Minho: Because Hannie likes you and I am occasionally at peace with your existence :/

Seungmin: Awww that's so nice! You're occasionally at peace with my existence!

Seungmin: I think that's the nicest thing you've ever said to me :')

Seungmin: *cries cutely*

Minho: I take it back I hate you

Seungmin: lol kk

Minho: See? You don't even care that I hate you!!

Seungmin: *cries cutely, but only on the inside*

Minho: Seungminnie

Seungmin: Okay FINE

Seungmin: buuut

Seungmin: I can't help but notice that I still haven't gotten an answer to my question...

Minho: Which question

Seungmin: Don't play dumb!

Seungmin: I asked when you're confessing to Jisung

Minho: Who's Jisung?

Seungmin: Oh I dunno

Seungmin: That guy we've been talking to for the past, what? Two months?

Minho: 3 months, actually

Minho: But yeah I think I know who you mean ;)

Seungmin: Minhoooooo

Minho: Okay fine!! My plan is to do it next week

Seungmin: Wait you actually have a plan?????

Minho: Yeah

Minho: Don't tell everyone

Seungmin: I'M TELLING EVERYONE!

Minho: NO!!!

Seungmin: Aw :(

Seungmin: But what if I really wanna tell everyone?

Minho: Sucks for you, you're gonna have to keep it a secret or I'll break your arm

Seungmin: Don't break my arm! I only have two!!!

Minho: uh... yeah? Obviously?

Seungmin: Hey don't be rude

Seungmin: Some people only have 1 arm

Seungmin: Or 0 arms

Seungmin: Congrats Minho! This means that you have more arms than the average person! :)

Minho: ...what

Seungmin: Since there are people with less than 2 arms, that means the average number of arms is always a bit below 2

Seungmin: Meaning that if you have 2 arms, that's more than the average person!

Minho: Fuck... you're right

Minho: I hate statistics, that shit is fucked

Seungmin: lmao I know

Minho: What if you have 3 arms though

Seungmin: ...what

Minho: Yeah! There's people born with extra limbs sometimes?

Seungmin: I mean...

Seungmin: Yes

Seungmin: But what does that have to do with it?

Minho: How does that affect the statistics?

Seungmin: ...I don't wanna think about this anymore

Seungmin: Fuck you and goodbye!

Minho: YOU LITERALLY STARTED IT

2:32 pm

Best Bros (private chat)

sungie: hey, random question

sungie: would you suck someone off for 10 dollars?

Binnie <3: I hardly think that's a fair deal

Binnie <3: that's gotta be worth at least 100

sungie: but you're saying there's a price where you would at least consider it?

Binnie <3: Yes

sungie: great, thanks! ^o^

Binnie <3: Wait what is this about? why do you ask??

sungie: for Sceince™

Binnie <3: ??? that's not science

sungie: uh, yeah it is!!

Binnie <3: What was the name of your science teacher in high school? I just wanna ask them a few questions

Binnie <3: Namely, how the hell they defined science for you to think that this classifies as anything remotely scientific

sungie: why???

Binnie <3: Because this isn't science so there's clearly been some flaws in your education

sungie: okat but consider this

sungie: there's other science that we don't know about!!

Binnie <3: ...are you quoting buzzfeed unsolved right now?

Binnie <3: anyway I'm pretty sure this doesn't count as other science, either :/

sungie: :(

Binnie <3: You just asked if I'm willing to suck someone off for money

sungie: yeah?

Binnie <3: That's not science

Binnie <3: If anything, it's a statistical investigation, but if that's the case you need actual statistics

Binnie <3: Not just asking one person

sungie: no but this is Science™!!!

Binnie <3: It's not!!

sungie: stop hating on my science project binnie :(

Binnie <3: . what

Binnie <3: First of all, this isn't even science??

Binnie <3: Second, you don't take science as a subject, so how could you possibly have a science project??

sungie: i gave myself a science project! as a treat!! :D

Binnie <3: Uhm

Binnie <3: okay

sungie: don't worry i'm gonna ask more people the same question so i can get accurate statistics! ^_^

Binnie <3: I wasn't even worried but okay

Binnie <3: Also that's math/statistics, not science

sungie: hey!! stop hating on my science project :(

Binnie <3: It's not hate?? I'm just stating facts

sungie: i don't appreciate that

sungie: more brainless activities pls

Binnie <3: Lmao okay

sungie: anyway bye! i have important things to do ^_^

Binnie <3: Let me guess

Binnie <3: More science?

sungie: correct!! :D

Binnie <3: lol

Binnie <3: Good luck

sungie: thanks! ^o^

Chapter Text

Binnie <3 created a new group!

Binnie <3 added sungie, felixie, Mingo, Seungtana, Jeongking and hyunbro to the group

Binnie <3 set the group name to Important!!

Binnie <3: I think Chan might have a secret child

Seungtana left the group

sungie: SEUNGMIN NO!!

Jeongking: fuck him, don't add him back

Mingo: What makes you think that?

Binnie <3: There is definitely a child in Chan's room right now

Binnie <3: Guys help what do I do ???

hyunbro: okay but why does that have to mean chan is secretly a father?

Binnie <3: What else could it mean??

Binnie <3: I'm not ready to be a step parent

Binnie <3: Oh god how do I tell Chan??

felixie: maybe he's babysitting

felixie: maybe it's his sibling or cousin or something

Mingo: Yeah, or maybe he stole it

felixie: :0

sungie: exactly!! it doesn't have to mean that it's his baby!!

Jeongking: yeah I don't think chan has any biological children

Jeongking: u don't have to worry about it

felixie: sooo... we're just gonna ignore what minho just said?

sungie: yup <3

Mingo: <3

sungie: hihi ^_^

felixie: oookay...

felixie: (minho i hope u dont steal children?)

Mingo: (who knows? ;) )

sungie: (the rest of us can still read what u say when it's in parenthesis, just so you know)

felixie: (no u cant!)

Binnie <3: I'M TOO YOUNG TO BE TIED DOWN BY THE SHACKLES OF RESPONSIBILITY AND ADULTHOOD!!!!

Jeongking: youre literally an adult though? this changes nothing

Jeongking: lol

Binnie <3: YEAH but not that much of an adulty adult!!!

Jeongking: that makes no sense but somehow i get exactly what u mean

Jeongking: and yeah that's true! youre not very mature haha!

Binnie <3: HEY!!!!!!

Mingo: Okay let's focus on the problem at hand

Mingo: Chan has stolen a child and Changbin isn't ready to take responsibility, right?

Binnie <3: YEAH and I can't hire a hitman because that would definitely hurt Chan's feelings :(

felixie: wHERE DID THE HITMAN COME FROM??? NO ONE SAID ANYTHING ABOUT MURDER!!?!?!?

Binnie <3: Yeah but it just seems like a logical solution to get rid of someone!

Binnie <3: And I really don't think this child should be staying around us for too long, especially not if Chan stole it

felixie: NONE OF THOSE THINGS ARE CONFIRMED YET???????

sungie: yeah lix is right!!

felixie: THANK U

felixie: omfg i was starting to lose faith in all of u guys

sungie: we should wait before we find out where the child came from before we start thinking about where to find a hitman

felixie: NO!!!!!! THAT WAS NOT MY POINT!!!!!!!!

Binnie <3: Oh guys I gotta go, Chan is back from the bathroom!!!

Mingo: K.

felixie: PLEASE no murder today. pls i beg

2:44 pm

Important!! (6)

Binnie <3: Update

Binnie <3: The child is Chan's younger cousin and I am now going with them to the grocery store

Binnie <3: Everything is fine! I hereby disband this group chat :)

sungie: wait binnie

Binnie <3 deleted the group

3:22 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

felixie: i really, really, REALLY hope that there has not been a murder today?

Binnie <3: Of course not! I would never!

felixie: really? :/

felixie: are u SURE about that??

Binnie <3: Yup! Positive!!

Grandchan: Wait what, why would there have been a murder??

Binnie <3: Don't worry about it Channie <3

sungie: yeah!

sungie: that's all in the past ^_^

Grandchan: Guys...?

felixie: as long as u don't actually murder anyone, ig we're fine :/

felixie: so chan, i wouldn't worry about it if i were you!

Grandchan: Okaaay

Mingo: Ngl if the pay is afforable enough, I would consider hiring a hitman

Mingo: It sounds cool /j

Binnie <3: For who???

Mingo: ;)

Binnie <3: fOR WHO MINHO???? WHO DO U WANT MURDERED??!??!

Mingo: can't tell you ;)

sungie: OH!!!! speaking of money!!

sungie: i already asked binnie but since i need more accurate statistics, i need answers from all of you guys

sungie: it's a very important question

sungie: i would even go as far as to say that it MIGHT be the most important question i've ever asked you

felixie: oh okay!

sungie: and whatever your answers are, i will value your input highly

sungie: this is very important to me

Jeongking: hm?

felixie: what's the question sungie? <3

sungie: okay here it is

sungie: it would be nice if everyone answered, but only if youre comfortable with it! <3

sungie: would you suck someone off for 10 dollars?

felixie: ...

Jeongking: huh??

Grandchan: ...what

Mingo: I think I need more context before I answer that

Mingo: and consent is also important, so whoever I'm sucking off has to be okay with it!

felixie: aren't you ace???

Mingo: Yup ;)

Mingo: okay so honest answer no, I probably wouldn't, but I support sex workers so it's not a hard no to Jisung's question <3

felixie: supporting sex workers doesn't have to mean that u wanna be a sex worker but yeah same! support sex workers!! ^_^ <333

Grandchan: Is there any context for this? Did Ji suck someone off for 10 dollars or is this random?

Grandchan: Should I be worried??

sungie: NO NO NO, don't worry!!! it's not based on reality!!!

sungie: or well not my reality at least, so don't worry about me, i'm fine! ^_^

sungie: this is deeper than just a funny random question because there's a lot of oppression and discrimination tied in with this topic but that's part of why i'm asking! it's not on a personal level for me though, but anyway!

sungie: i'm done with my science now :D

Binnie <3: ITS STILL NOT SCIENCE

sungie: u can't stop me with your facts and logic!!

sungie: that's boring :p

Binnie <3: U CAN'T CHANGE THE DEFINITION OF A WORD???

sungie: i just did ^_^

Binnie <3: tHATS NOT HOW IT WORKS

Grandchan: If I may interrupt, can we please talk about why Lixie thought there might have been a murder today?

Grandchan: If anyone here is going to jail I wanna know so I can mentally prepare myself for it

sungie: that issue was solved earlier!! no one has committed a murder <3

Grandchan: Okay but what was the issue?

sungie: binnie thought you had a secret child

sungie: then he thought he would have to get rid of the child since he's not ready to be a parent

sungie: but turns out you're not a secret father, you just had your cousin over! :D

Grandchan: hOW DID THIS LEAD TO MURDER?!!?!?!??

Binnie <3: Idk it just seemed logical!!!

Binnie <3: But luckily that wasn't the case, so the murder isn't on the agenda for today anymore

Mingo: Speak for yourself!! murder is ALWAYS on my agenda ;)

Seungtana: the only thing you're killing is my sanity whenever I'm around you /j

Mingo: Love to hear that, I'm very proud of this accomplishment<3

Seungtana: :/

Grandchan: ...

Grandchan: I'm concerned about you guys

felixie: as u should be

Chapter Text

5:41 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

Seungtana: Can someone explain to me why I just heard screaming coming from Jisung's and Jeongin's dorm?

sungie: NO YOU DIDN'T

Seungtana: I'm pretty sure that's what I heard

sungie: how can you be so sure??

sungie: it actually wasn't coming from my room

sungie: you have literally no proof at all

Seungtana: Yes it was, I just heard it

Jeongking: that wasn't screaming!! that was singing

Seungtana: ...

Seungtana: wtf

felixie: hey guys, why am I hearing jisung and jeongin shouting the lyrics to "love story" by taylor swift really loudly?

sungie: no you're not, you haven't heard anything

sungie: what are you talking about?? it's quiet

Jeongking: we're not yelling, we're SINGING :(

felixie: ohhh, is that what it is?

felixie: I'm sorry, i though u were yelling

Mingo: ...I'm on my way over to their dorm right now

Mingo: Should I turn around?

Seungtana: Yeah probably

sungie: NO NO!!! WE'LL BE QUIET!!! as soon as the song is over!

Mingo: K

Seungtana: okay but I feel like Minho is going to join in on the screaming once he gets there

Seungtana: He's not as bothered as he pretends to be

felixie: yeah true! he's chaotic enough to get along with jeongsung when they're being loud af :)

Mingo: Felix can you stop spamming my instagram DMs, we're literally talking in the gc right now

Mingo: like bro why are we whispering?

felixie: omfg minho just read my messages on insta, it's IMPORTANT!!!

sungie: oh??

Jeongking: lmao I bet it's something unnecessary and dramatic

felixie: SHUT UP

felixie: I DONT TAKE CRITISICM

Jeongking: sounds like i was right lol

5:59 pm

min, sung (private chat)

sung: hey can you pls buy cheesecake on the way over

sung: pls?

sung: i really want cheesecake

min: You have a cheesecake problem

sung: yeah i know, but pls?

min: No

sung: pretty pleaaase?

min: ...

sung: think about how much you love me!

min: ...fine

sung: omg thanks! you're the best! ^o^

sung: i will give you the biggest kiss on the cheek when you get here!

min: Only on the cheek?

sung: wHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN???

min: I don't know, what do you think? ;)

sung: ???

sung: okay then

sung: i'll kiss you on the mouth instead

min: Only on the mouth?

sung: AASJHDDGJDSJKHSDH????

sung: WHAT MORE DO YOU W A N T ?????

sung: if u don't stop i might have to add a tiny bit of tongue to that kiss 😳

min: Only a tiny bit?

sung: okay then

sung: i will shove my tongue down your throat until you choke

min: Ooh, damn daddy ;)

sung: MINHO OMG STOP

sung: SJKHDAGSJAGDFSJ

sung: FUCK YOU FOR MAKING ME SAY THAT

min: Hey! You said it yourself, I played no part in this!!

sung: >:((

min: Okay sorry! I will happily accept a kiss on the cheek <3

sung: too bad, i changed my mind

sung: you're not getting one >:(

min: Nooo ;(

sung: sorry babe, you brought this upon yourself

min: Well then maybe I will kiss YOU on the cheek

sung: bet?

min: Bet.

sung: oooh you better come over quick then

min: You know I will ;)

min: By the way Lixie is crying in my instagram dm's cause apparently you've been ignoring his messages

min: That's what the spam was about

sung: no i haven't?

sung: oH SHIT LIXIE HAS MESSAGED ME!

min: Told you so 🙄

sung: oh and before i forget!!

sung: i talked to my mom today and she says she's coming to town this weekend!

sung: so lix and i are probably gonna go out for dinner with her or something

sung: just so you know ^_^

min: Oh I see how it is, you like Felix more than me /j

min: Meanwhile, I have Felix blocked

min: lmao

sung: what why????

sung: mINHO!

sung: UNBLOCK HIM OMG!!!

min: But why

sung: is that why you said that he's crying in your instagram dm's? because he can't message you on here?

min: Yeah probably

sung: UNBLOCK HIM!!

min: Or what?

sung: or you're not getting any kisses :/

sung: unblock him pls

min: Okay I'm doing it!

min: There, it's been done

sung: good! ^-^

min: I'm at the cafe, what cheesecake do you want?

sung: omg pls i forgot the english word

sung: 딸기

sung: the little red man in the earth???

min: ...you mean strawberry?

sung: YES exactly!

sung: thanks minho ily <3

sung: i'm gonna text lix back now

min: Yeah okay, see you soon <3

6:02 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)

felixie: hi!

felixie: jisuuung

felixie: han jisuuung

felixie: bröther

felixie: bro

felixie: dude

felixie: are you ignoring me??? :(

felixie: :'((

felixie: *cries cutely*

felixie: hanji :((

sungie: LIX IM SORRY MY NOTIFICATIONS WERE OFF!

sungie: wait wdym cries cutely? how do you cry cutely?

felixie: idk, it's a roblox thing ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

felixie: anyway! you're here now! :D

sungie: i am! :D

felixie: i was just texting because chan told me that changbin told him that hyunjin told him that he heard from jeongin that my dad almost kidnapped you recently?

sungie: wait...

sungie: hang on...

sungie: i'm still trying to understand that sentence

sungie: gimme a minute...

felixie: BASICALLY, i heard that you almost got kidnapped by my dad

felixie: is that true?

sungie: oh yeah! that's why i was talking to mom today!

felixie: BOIII... HOW DO YOU EVEN GET INTO THESE SITUATIONS?

sungie: don't worry, i got away!

sungie: i'm a smart man!

felixie: ...

sungie: sometimes!

felixie: yeah ok :/

felixie: but are you okay?

sungie: yeah i'm fine, it wasn't even that dramatic

sungie: not to be rude but your dad is a bit of a bitch

sungie: i can't believe he tried to kidnap me

sungie: again

felixie: my dad is also the king of the faerie court, that might have something to do with it

sungie: lmao yeah

felixie: but you're really fine? you got away from him?

sungie: yeah, everything's okay with me! don't worry about it!

felixie: telling me not to worry is not gonna stop me from worrying :/

felixie: i mean, you're already bound to him by faerie magic

felixie: if he kidnaps you before that...

felixie: we probably wouldn't be able to bring you back:(

sungie: good think i got away then! :)

felixie: yeah, it really was

sungie: ANYWAY!!

sungie: do you wanna go out for dinner this weekend?

sungie: i already asked mom cause she's gonna be in town! :D

felixie: your ability to switch topics... amazing

felixie: but yeah sure! :D

sungie: great! i'll text you what time later ^-^

felixie: okay! ^o^

Chapter Text

7:28 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

Jeongking: yo yo frienderinos, i'm here to bring you some live commentary from the JeongSung dorm!

Jeongking: current event - minho and jisung are confessing to each other

felixie: wHAR

felixie: WHAT

felixie: OMFG?????

hyunbro: HOLY HELL ARE YOU SERIOUS IS THIS REALLY HAPPENING

Grandchan: Don't invade their privacy!

Jeongking: it's not my fault that they forgot i'm here lol

Jeongking: if they just paused to think for a second they would realize that i can hear everything they say

Seungtana: How's it going? Did Minho embarrass himself yet??

Jeongking: pls i came here to give you guys some commentary on the situation, stop asking so many questions

Jeongking: do u want the live updates or not

Binnie <3: yes PLEASE

Seungtana: Make sure you tell us if Minho does something embarrassing :)

Seungtana: I have a bet to win

Binnie <3: You knew he was gonna confess???

Seungtana: Yeah ;)

Binnie <3: WHAT :0

Binnie <3: WHAT IS THIS BETRAYAL?? < / 3

Jeongking: minho got cheesecake for jisung on the way here

hyunbro: aww that's so cute, he loves cheesecake!!

hyunbro: a thoughtful gift

hyunbro: its so cute im gonna cry TT

felixie: don't cry hyunjinnie! <3

hyunbro: <333

Jeongking: they're both sitting together on jisung's bed and started talking about a kiss?

Jeongking: i don't think they've kissed yet but apparently they already had some sort of agreement to kiss each other?

Jeongking: idk the backstory for that but there sure is something going on here!

felixie: omgggg

Jeongking: "It feels like we've known each other for a lot longer than just three months"

Jeongking: this is kinda cute, ngl

Grandchan: MY LITTLE PUP IS GROWING UP 😭

Binnie <3: I can't believe this is actually happening

Binnie <3: What a shocking turn of events! :0

hyunbro: yeah same!! i thought minho was just gonna keep repressing his feelings forever

Seungtana: My only regret is not being there to witness as Minho embarrasses himself

Seungtana: That would have made this 100% better

Jeongking: how do u know that he's gonna embarrass himself?

Seungtana: Don't ask me how I know this, but last time Minho was told by someone that they like him, he responded with "thanks"

Seungtana: that was funny so I'm hoping that he does somethnig similar this time

Jeongking: wait how do you know that?? when was that confession?? who confessed to minho??

Binnie <3: YEAH I'm wondering the same thing? I didn't know Minho had so many people who are in love with him

Seungtana: Don't worry about it ;)

Jeongking: I THINK THEYRE KISSING

Jeongking: oh god i hate gays

Jeongking: they seriously forgot i'm here

hyunbro: HANG ON, are you in the room with them??

Jeongking: YES

hyunbro: OMFG LMAOOOOOO

felixie: THAT MAKES THIS SO MUCH BETTER HAHAHAHHAHAHA

Binnie <3: LOL

Binnie <3: Rip Jeongin but thanks for your sacrifice!

Seungtana: Jeongin come open the door

Jeongking: yOU'RE HERE??

Jeongking: MY SAVIOR OMG THANK YOU

Jeongking: SEUNGMIN YOU'RE MY NEW FAVORITE PERSON

Seungtana: ;)

hyunbro: crying literal tears of joy what the FUCK

hyunbro: cant believe my besties got their shit together so soon wtf !!

felixie: SAMESIES :'D

hyunbro: THIS IS SUCH A HUGE MOMENT

hyunbro: I DIDNT KNOW MY FRIENDS WERE EMOTINOALLY MATURE ENOUGH TO SPEAK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS!!!

Binnie <3: Yeah same

Grandchan: I can't believe our pup is all grown up TT

Binnie <3: Oh don't worry Channie, I don't think he's THAT grown up yet

Binnie <3: He still thinks fridge magnets are made with magic

Jeongking: okay but in jisung's defense, magnets are weird asf

Jeongking: they just?? STICK?? to places?? because their Vibes don't match???

Jeongking: it's such bullshit

Jeongking: i fucking hate physics

hyunbro: iNNIE HOW IS THE CONFESSION GOING

Jeongking: this fucking TRAITOR comes into my HOME, my SACNTUARY, and he SPITS on my FACE!!!

felixie: ...what?

Jeongking: not literally

Jeongking: no one is spitting on my face, don't worry! ^-^

hyunbro: who are you talking about??

Jeongking: KIM SEUNGMIN THE MOTHERFUCKER

Jeongking: hE MAKES ME THINK THAT I'M GETTING SAVED FROM WITNESSING THEIR FEELINGS

Jeongking: but NO

felixie: omg what is seungmin doing there then? :0

Jeongking: guess what fuckers!!!

Jeongking: ALL THREE OF THEM ARE CONFESSING NOW

hyunbro: JKSAHDGDFJHWDSGJSJFHAJDFJA

felixie: OMFGDFKS KWEIFKJDH WHAAAAA

Binnie <3: Chan is screaming into a pillow now

Binnie <3: (I would like to do the same but I don't wanna miss any important updates!)

Jeongking: and APPARENTLY, minho and seungmin already confessed to each other!!!!!!

hyunbro: wITHOUT TELLING ANY OF US?????? :O

hyunbro: what a fucking betrayal!!!!!

felixie: OMFG

hyunbro: i can't believe they got to have privacy!!!

felixie: RIGHT

felixie: this is a parasitic friendship we have here, NO ONE gets to have privacy in moments like this!!!!!!!!

hyunbro: EXACTLY!

Grandchan: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH

Binnie <3: WHAT THE FU CKE WJKFJ SJKGHFNMDH

felixie: THIS IS SO WILD

felixie: GUYS THERE ARE LITERALY ETEARS ON MY FACE

felixie: SEND HELP

hyunbro: LIXIE IM CMING OVER TO U WE GOTTA GO THROUGH THIS TOGETHER

felixie: OMFG THANKS HYUNI <333

Jeongking: aaaaand theyre kissing

Jeongking: thats my cue to blast

Jeongking: bye frienderinos, it's been nice knowing u, now i will be Passing Away

Grandchan: AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH

hyunbro: damn thats a fucking mood right there hyung

Chapter Text

7:30 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

jisungie: hey everyone! :D

Jeongking: NO

Jeongking: SHUT UP

Jeongking: YOU DONT GET TO SAY THAT ANYMORE!!!!

Seungtana: He doesn't get to say... hey?

Jeongking: THATS RIGHT

Jeongking: HE LOST HIS HELLO PRIVLIGES

jisungie: what did i even do???

Mingo: Hello

Jeongking: YOU TOO

Jeongking: STOP IT

Mingo: ...?

Jeongking: yOU ALSO LOST YOUR HELLO PRIVIELEGES

Jeongking: THE FUCKING AUDACITY YOU GUYS HAVE

Jeongking: COMING IN HERE AND SAYING HELLO

Jeongking: AFTER EVERYTHING WEVE BEEN THROUGH????

Jeongking: FUCK OFF!

Grandchan: I'm almost afraid to ask but... what's going on?

Jeongking: hi king here's the situation

Jeongking: THESE FUCKING FUCKERS BETRAYED ME!!!!!!

Jeongking: YOU WERE HERE YESTERDAY

Jeongking: YOU SAW IT ALL!!!!!!

Grandchan: Oh you mean when they... talked... in front of you?

Jeongking: OHOHOHOHOHOH

Jeongking: they did A LOT more than just talk!!

Jeongking: i had to WITNESS with my own two EYES as they KISSED!!!!

Grandchan: To be fair, Jisung also lives there! So it's not entirely unexpected

Jeongking: HE'S STILL A FUCKER 😤

Jeongking: oooh my cake order is here! :D

Grandchan: You ordered a cake?

Jeongking: YES!

Grandchan: Ooh, nice! What's the occasion?

Jeongking: it's for jisung!

Jeongking: and the other two if they want it, but it's meant for him only

Grandchan: Wait I thought you said they were "fuckers"?

Jeongking: yeah, so?

Jeongking: doesn't mean i can't get them a cake!

jisungie: AKJAHSDFGFKSJFGJAHHDGJH

Binnie <3: This looks like it's about to be peak entertainment!

Binnie <3: Someone get some popcorn

Grandchan: Hey Jisungie, what's up with the cake?

jisungie: AJHASDGKADHJKDFJKHKLDJGKDLJG20933829PEWOJFHGDKSLWQOP239EWOISL

Grandchan: ...pup?

jisungie: ITS SO HILARIOUS I CANT BERATHE OMG

jisungie: gIME A SECOND

Jeongking: Can confirm that jisung is currently losing his shit, laughing on the floor

Jeongking: literally ROFLing

Binnie <3: did you just turn rofl (rolling on the floor laughing) into a verb...? even though it's already the short version of a verb??

Seungtana: Language evolves through creativity and verbs are an open word class

Seungtana: Tbh if the people in here don't invent a few new words every now and then, I would be disappointed

Mingo: Okay, so, can we go back to talking about the cake now?

Binnie <3: YEAH RIGHT!

Binnie <3: You left us on a real cliffhanger here!!

jisungie: OKAY so first of all it looks like a good cake, 10/10 would consume the entire thing in one go if no one was around to stop me!

Grandchan: Good thing Innie is there then

Jeongking: me???

Jeongking: i'm not gonna stop him from overdosing on birthday cake

Seungtana: It's a birthday cake?

Binnie <3: But it's no one's birthday today tho??

Binnie <3: Either that, or I'm screwed :')

Grandchan: Don't worry Binnie, you're not screwed, it's no one's birthday today!

Binnie <3: phew

Jeongking: yeah well most people order special birthday cakes so it was marketed as a birthday cake

Jeongking: and most people ask for "happy birthday" text on it

Jeongking: so i had to put birthday cake when i was filling out the form for a specialised cake

jisungie: AND THE WHOLE THING IS FULL OF SO MUCH TEXT I HAVE NO IDEA HOW THEY MANAGED TO FIT IT ALL ON HERE

jisungie: tbh i feel bad for the bakers who had to make this

Jeongking: lol rip them

jisungie: JEONGINSKJDFHSDFDHG

Mingo: So what does the text say?

Mingo: also, how small text are we talking?

jisungie: microscopic, miniscule, DIMINUTIVE, PICAYUNE!! i can barely read it without a magnifying glass!!

Mingo: Oooh! It's even got Jisungie breaking out his thesaurus! Must be pretty tiny then

Jeongking: i can copy paste it from when i typed it out for the baker if you guys want

Jeongking: i'm not sure jisung will be able to type it all without laughing

Binnie <3: YES PLS

Seungtana: I'm on the edge of my seat in anticipation...

Jeongking: okay here goes

Jeongking: "To my wife Jisung, I've fucking had it with you. You cheated on me with my bro and bestie. You clearly have unresolved issues you need to work on. The sight of your face fills me with repulsion. Have this cake as a symbol of my hatred and disapproval. Love, Jeongin."

felixie: WHY IS HE YOUR WIFE KJSEJDKFHKS

Jeongking: hi felix!

Jeongking: i took pity on the bakers, and "wife" is shorter than "husband"

Jeongking: i tried to shorten as many words as possible, to make their job easier ^_^ <3

Grandchan: And it never crossed your mind that you could just shorten the message as a whole instead...?

Jeongking: interesting suggestion!

Jeongking: no it did not ^_^

felixie: LMAOOOOO

Seungtana: How did that even fit on a cake?

Jeongking: i have NO clue but i am SO giving them a 5 star review on google reviews or whatever its called!!

Jeongking: "would you reccommend this to a friend" hELL FUCKING YEAH THIS BAKERY IS THE BEST ONE YOU'LL EVER FIND!!!

Jeongking: 10/10 stars!!! easily!!!

jisungie: ok so i know i make a lot of jokes about overdosing on various types of cake but i dont actually have that big of an appetite

jisungie: but the cake is like... a whole ass cake

jisungie: do u see my dilemma??

Jeongking: dont worry I'm here too

jisungie: ok but you cannot consume a whole entire cake by yourself......

Jeongking: Can't or shouldn't? :p

jisungie: NO

jisungie: NOPE

jisungie: you will not be overdosing on brithday cake today!!! not on my watch

jisungie: i WILL be cutting you off, sorry kid!

Binnie <3: oh how the turns have tabled...

Grandchan: Is this how it feels to watch your children grow up? ;-;

Seungtana: Hey we are talking about overdosing on cake

Seungtana: I don't think it's really that much character development

Binnie <3: but jisungie went from trying to overdose on cake, to stopping others from doing the same thing!

Grandchan: IM SO PROUD OF YOU MY SON!!

jisungie: ok

jisungie: ANYWAY everyone here is invited to mine and jeongin's dorm for birthday cake! :D

jisungie: first come first serve

Jeongking: or in other words, we will not be saving cake for any latecomers! ^__^

jisungie: be here quick or starve! <3

felixie: I AM SKEDADDLING OVER SOOO FAST RN!!!

jisungie: OH actually

jisungie: i will save cake for minho and seungmin ONLY, because they are the reason this cake even exists! <3

Seungtana: Thanks baby <3

Mingo: thanks 자기야 ♡

felixie: OMG YOUVE GOT MINO BUSTING OUT THE KOREAN TERMS OF ENDEREREMEANT!!

felixie: damn u got him whipped huh

felixie: good on u sungie!!

jisungie: AKSJDHAKJS

Jeongking: HANG ON.. i just realized this means i will have to witness jiseungminho with my own two eyes once more......

Jeongking: is it too late to uninvite everyone to the cake party??

Seungtana: Yup, it's too late now <3

Mingo: We are coming over whether you want us to or not ;)

Jeongking: i very clearly do NOT want to :/

Jeongking: rip me ig !

Chapter Text

1:28 pm

were fae-riends, witches! (8)

jisungie: no more of this "identity" shit yall keep talking about!!

jisungie: i have decided that i am no longer a person

Granchan: ...u good pup?

jisungie: my pronouns are now /

jisungie: my gender is

jisungie: i can only be referred to with an uncomfortably long pause!

felixie: jisung bro wtf??

Seungtana: I think ______ is onto something

jisungie: tHATS THE LONG PAUSE I'M TALKING ABOUT HELL YEAH!! THAT'S HOW I WILL BE REFERRED TO FROM NOW ON!!!!

jisungie: seungmin gets me!!!

Seungtana: <3

jisungie: <3

Grandchan: Oh since we're talking in the gc, I have two questions

Grandchan: First, who left a tricycle right by my front door yesterday?

Grandchan: Second, is whoever left it there going to need it back?

Jeongking: it was me

Jeongking: and yes, i will need it back

jisungie: ayo dude since when do u have a tricycle???

Binnie <3: Jeongin is becoming a clown????

Jeongking: WHERE did ANYONE say that!!!!

Jeongking: NO i'm not becoming a clown >:(

jisungie: that's right, you can't become something you already are! ^__^

Jeongking: HAN JISUNG

Jeongking: bitch!

jisungie: KASJDAKSDALKAJDA ok.

felixie: omg i wanna ride a tricycle! :D

Jeongking: as long as you don't let your brother borrow it, I'll let you ride<3

jisungie: omg no

jisungie: im sorry for calling u a clown jeonginnie my dearest😔

jisungie: i will NEVER do it again for the rest of today!!!!!

jisungie: can i pls join u on the tricycle?👉👈

Grandchan: dONT RIDE THE TRYCILE ALL AT THE SAME TIME!!!! SOMEONE IS GONNA FALL OFF

Grandchan: I am not taking a trip to the ER today!

Jeongking: booo🙄

felixie: oki channie we wont, pinky promise! <3

Grandchan: Good, thanks Lix <3

Jeongking: but yes jisung u can join us

Jeongking: as long as you follow the terms and conditions

Jeongking: also if anyone is a clown here it's you lmao

jisungie: heY???!?!??!

Mingo: Sorry to say it babe but he's right

Mingo: On every level except physical, you are a clown

Seungtana: Don't worry Sungie, I think it's cute!

jisungie: at least someone here loves me < / 3

felixie: literally everyone here loves u

felixie: dont even try!

jisungie: hehehe (◡‿◡✿)

1:44 pm

memes n schemes (private chat)