Chapter Text
3 Months Away from Graduation.
Andrew's doubtful. He usually is self-assured and always sure of what he needs, he doesn't have any goal to achieve. But if he wants something he will act on it. But now... he's doubtful, doubtful of his not relationship with Neil, what would happen after his graduation? Their not-relationship has lasted 4 years but for how much more longer? Especially now that he is graduating in a few months to go pro for Exy of all things, there would be a distance between him and Neil. He has seen firsthand how tiring and draining long-distance relationships are but it's Neil, and Andrew wants to be with him but does Neil share the same sentiment? And even if he did how long will this last? Andrew does not want to tie himself to anyone, he doesn't want to owe anyone anything, and doesn't want to be dependent or base his plans around them. Sure it seems selfish but that's how he lived without getting hurt till now. Neil always resected his space but now that he's moving to Denver, will Neil still stay hoping to still be with Andrew? Will he have certain expectations? He knows he is not the most empathetic person out there, he was damaged, broken, "Monster" as he was called by everyone, so does he truly deserve Neil? Would Neil realize he could do better and leave Andrew like Cass and his other foster parents did like Nicky, Aaron, and Kevin are going to? He knows what the upperclassmen think of him how they think Neil is too good for Andrew and deep down Andrew agrees, a small part of him whispers that he is unworthy of Neil's affection, that he is too scarred, too damaged to give, and receive happiness, the little bubble of contentment he was in these past few years suddenly popped and all these old insecurities and doubts came rushing towards him like a mighty tidal wave engulfing him whole.
2 Months away from Graduation
Andrew has been distant lately. Even though he is mostly quiet, he always talks to Neil. But it's been radio silence from his side these past few weeks. Neil never sees Andrew or gets the opportunity to talk to him, it's almost as if Andrew was avoiding Neil. He stopped appearing by the coffee cart when they had free periods, stopped texting him, and apart from morning and night practices, Andrew has barely talked to him. Exy practices are the only time Neil sees him now. Neil is growing concerned he wants to know if he did anything wrong, if he unknowingly crossed his boundaries. Another unwelcome thought crosses his mind what if Andrew grew tired of him? what if he doesn't want to be with Neil anymore? After all, he is graduating he would have more options he might not want to do long-distance relationships he might not want to do anything at all.