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Alex took a deep, long breath and placed a gentle hand over her belly. She couldn’t believe she was getting close to her due date and all sorts of emotions were fluttering to the surface. Joy. Excitement. Nervousness. Fear. But mostly joy and excitement. She really wanted to be a good mom to this baby. To give him or her all the love and security Alex lacked when she was still in foster care.
After her and Ryan got married four years ago, they decided to take their time starting a family. Those four years were wonderfully blissful, and no different than the time they spent together before they were married.
Alex continued running the record store and radio station, and Ryan split his time between his day job as a park ranger and managing the Black Lantern in the evenings. They did some traveling together like flying to China and Vietnam so Alex could connect to the places where her parents were born.
She remembered when her and Ryan stepped foot on the airplane. It was the first time either of them had flown on a plane, much less traveled outside of the U.S., before. Alex and Ryan had applied for their passports a year before they were married after they decided going to Asia would be the perfect place to go for their honeymoon and their first trip abroad.
It also had Steph’s stamp of approval when they told her their plans over their regular video calls with her.
“Might as well go all in on your honeymoon. You lovebirds hardly ever leave Haven Springs.”
“That’s not true,” Ryan protested. “We’ve left Haven Springs plenty of times.”
“To visit me, you mean?” Steph grinned, shaking her head. “Listen, I love you both and you’re my best friends but coming to see me in Denver doesn’t really count when you’re a few hours away from home. You guys need to expand your horizons. Live a little. Whether it’s out on the road or on an airplane, there’s so much more to life than that cute little town.”
Alex looked at Ryan and shrugged. “She has a point.”
“You know I’m right,” Steph said, practically glowing through the computer screen.
And she was. When Steph had left Haven Springs to pursue her music career, it took her all over the country, meeting people along the way who were looking to get a band together to do gigs at clubs and bars. At one point Steph and her bandmates had flown to the UK to meet up with an indie artist who caught one of their shows in New York City and was interested in collaborating on a song.
Steph had so many stories to tell of her adventures and the places she had been to that Alex couldn’t help but wonder what it would be like to step outside of the safety and familiarity of Haven Springs.
Alex had been moving around all her life. It was always a different foster home. There was never a chance to get comfortable in one place, to really call wherever she was “home”, because it usually meant she would be on her way out in six months to a year.
Moving to Haven Springs after her older brother Gabe had found her and invited her to come live with him was her first real shot at finally staying in one place long enough to try and build a stable and secure life.
Then Gabe was violently ripped from her when she had just gotten him back, and much of her time was consumed with bringing down Typhon and getting the justice her brother deserved. But in between all that, unbeknownst to Alex, she was also building the life she expected to have with Gabe in Haven Springs. She had a steady job at the Black Lantern and eventually the record store when Steph had decided it was time to leave and gave it to Alex as a parting gift, her own apartment above a bar, a community that opened their arms and hearts to her, and close friends who supported and accepted her. Even when Alex revealed her empath powers, Steph and Ryan didn’t see her as a freak but embraced them as another part of Alex that made her who she was. But maybe the most surprising thing of all was she found love.
Losing Gabe was not only hard on Alex but devastating for Ryan, too, because Gabe was Ryan’s best friend. Alex and Ryan were both there when Gabe died, and that shared trauma brought them closer together. Without even realizing it, they both started leaning on each other and seeking the other’s company when they didn’t want to be alone. Going mountain biking, hiking, and even watching a stuffy nature documentary with Ryan were exactly what Alex had needed to take her mind off the deep and unfathomable emptiness Gabe left behind. She knew Ryan had needed the distraction as much as she did, and they were some of the best memories Alex had when she was still figuring out how she would fit into Haven Springs without her big brother to help guide her through it.
The day of the LARP, seeing Ryan goofily dressed as the monsters Ethan and Alex had to fight as Thaynor and Alwynn, was when Alex knew what she felt for Ryan was more than just friendship. She was falling hard and fast for this sweet, caring, bird loving, tree cop. And when Ryan had asked Alex to meet him on the rooftop of the Black Lantern after she had given him a rose at the Spring Festival, her own fears of whether or not Ryan really felt the same way as she did melted away when he surprised her with a tree and painted a very vivid picture of what Alex’s life in Haven Springs could look like with him by her side. From that day forward, she couldn’t imagine a life without Ryan or this small town in Colorado.
As a couple they had dealt with the aftermath of Jed’s confession about the mining coverup and Typhon’s hand in it. Alex had helped Ryan through another loss, the loss of a father who had been lying to him and the entire town about his heroic rescue at the mines, and the swirl of emotions that followed him for a long time. They had found a way to rebuild and start over from the overwhelming tragedies of that year to get to a place of peace and healing.
Alex and Ryan were each other’s refuge, a safe haven they could retreat to when life became too much, and their love for each other continued to grow and flourish like the magnolia flowers on the tree Ryan had planted for Alex on the apartment’s rooftop garden. Neither of them were afraid of what came next. As long as they were together they could handle whatever life had in store for them. Including their soon-to-be new roles as mom and dad.
Remembering the bundle of nerves and the excitement Alex and Ryan had felt when they sat next to each other on the plane on their way to their honeymoon, the first of many trips outside of Haven Springs they took as a married couple, holding and squeezing each other’s hand the entire time, it was exactly how Alex felt now as she looked down at her swelling belly, rubbing it in soothing circles. Another first and a new chapter in their lives they were about to embark on together.
Alex heard a knock on the door and she turned to see Ryan entering their bedroom, greeting her with that radiant smile she could never get enough of, even after all this time they’ve been together, a soft aura of gold surrounding him.
Splotches of yellow paint were all over the beige colored coveralls Ryan wore over an old white T-shirt, the shirt clinging a little tightly around his broad shoulders and biceps, and Alex couldn’t help but grin and shake her head at how her husband somehow made something so plain and ordinary like coveralls look sexy. She really was one lucky woman to call this beautiful man her husband.
“What?” Ryan asked, noticing his wife’s reaction and trying to follow exactly where she was staring at.
“Nothing. I was thinking how unfairly hot you look in your coveralls just now. It should be a crime to look that good in anything.”
A small blush stained Ryan’s cheeks but his smile only grew wider. Alex loved how she still had that effect on him.
“Didn’t you know? Coveralls are the latest men’s fashion trend sweeping the nation right now, especially when you’re looking to drive pregnant wives wild with lust and longing.”
“Dork.”
Alex laughed as Ryan came up to her on her seated position on the bed. He leaned over and placed a kiss on the top of her head.
“How are you feeling?” Ryan stood back to examine her, worry lines creasing his forehead. “Do you need anything? Anything you’re craving? Want me to quickly run to the store and get you something?”
Alex shook her head, staring up into Ryan’s blue eyes. His hair was getting a bit longer at the front that it fell over his eyes. Ryan had been meaning to get a haircut, but he kept putting it off to make sure Alex was comfortable throughout her pregnancy while also preparing their house for the baby’s arrival.
“I’m fine, babe. I don’t need anything. I came in here to rest for a bit.” Rubbing her belly, Alex added, “I’ll be so glad to have this little one finally come out and meet us.”
Ryan’s gaze softened, the golden aura already surrounding him getting brighter at the thought of their child.
Our baby. A tiny human we created together. I really hope the baby has Alex’s eyes and her smile.
“Actually, I really hope our baby has your eyes,” Alex said, hearing Ryan’s thoughts. “How cute would it be to have our baby looking up at us with the same sweet and kind eyes of his or her father?”
Ryan took a seat next to his wife on the bed. He playfully nuzzled her cheek, the stubble along his jaw tickling her skin, while he covered the hand on her belly with his own.
“Mmm, but you see, the plan is for our child to inherit your good looks while they take after their cool dad’s love of everything nature and creatures covered in feathers.”
Alex pulled her head back to look at Ryan, trying but failing to keep down the smile pulling at the corners of her mouth.
“So you’re telling me our son or daughter will grow up being able to spout random nature facts and their room will be filled with nothing but CDs of bird calls?”
“Don’t forget the books about birds. He or she will have to be able to identify all the avian wildlife living in the woods to increase the odds that Chen-Lucan will remain the undefeated champion of 'Birder of the Year'.
Alex rolled her eyes. “I can’t believe our child is going to be co-opted to defend a bird title.”
Ryan gave her a sheepish grin. “Hey, I’ve held on to that title for six years. I’m not about to lose it now, and getting them started at a young age will ensure the legacy lives on.”
“You’re such a nerd.”
“But a nerd you’re crazy in love with, right?”
Alex looped her hands around Ryan’s neck and pulled him closer to her until their faces were mere inches away from each other.
“I might need a little help remembering.”
Alex smiled at him before Ryan leaned over to eagerly “show” her why she fell for him in the first place. The kiss was deliciously slow and languorous, taking their time to explore the softness of the other’s lips and the gentle dance of their tongues tasting and caressing each other, like it was the first time they kissed each other on the rooftop garden all over again. Ryan held her face in his hands, a thumb rubbing across her cheek as if he were trying to commit the feel of her skin to memory, and Alex knew exactly why she loved him—why she will always love him. Ryan made her feel safe, protected, and cherished. Her home was with him and always will be.
When they finally broke apart, Ryan’s eyes went wide and he quickly stood up. “I almost forgot why I came in here looking for you. Not that anyone would blame me if they saw who I’m married to.”
Ryan flashed her a dopey smirk, face flushed and still shining gold, Alex’s favorite color the first time she had experienced what pure joy looked like with him that day by the ravine.
Even as heavily pregnant as Alex was, Ryan still managed to make her feel like she was the most beautiful woman he had ever seen. She definitely had her moods. Days when Alex was sobbing on the floor because she was running out of clothes that fit her, or was irritable because the baby’s kicking kept her up all night and she couldn’t get any sleep. Ryan deserved a medal for putting up with her unpredictable seesaw of emotions with the patience of a saint.
But the one thing Alex never had to worry about was feeling insecure about the way she looked. Ryan made sure she never forgot just how sexy she was to him, pregnant or not, rushing back to their bedroom, sometimes not quite making it there, neither of them feeling like they could get their clothes off fast enough.
“If anyone’s a distraction around here, it’s you, coming in here looking the way you do,” Alex teased, an eyebrow wagging.
Ryan laughed and extended his hand out to Alex to help her to her feet.
“Close your eyes.”
Alex looked at him, curiosity and wonder evident on her face. Before she had a chance to ask why, Ryan rushed in and explained, “It’s a surprise. Sort of. You’ll like it, I promise.”
She closed her eyes and allowed Ryan to carefully guide her out of the bedroom, one hand still holding hers while the other was gently placed on the small of her back.
When Alex and Ryan had decided they were ready to expand their family, they quickly realized that the apartment above the bar wasn’t suitable for starting one. They began looking at homes that were perfect for raising a family, and found a house that was 10 minutes away from town. It was located near the woods with a hiking trail about five minutes from where they lived and a backyard big enough for their children to run and play in. There was also a small front garden where they could replant the magnolia tree from the rooftop garden.
Leaving the loft apartment was difficult for both of them because there were so many memories tied to the place that Alex had called home, and eventually Ryan when he moved in with her, ever since she arrived to Haven Springs.
Hours spent watching sunsets and sunrises; Ryan sitting and watching Alex play her guitar and sing for him in the apartment or on the rooftop when the weather was warmer and nicer; and having Ethan and Charlotte over for dinners or game nights. But they knew if they were going to grow their own family, they needed a place big enough for their child, and any other future kids they’d have, to freely roam in.
What Alex and Ryan both agreed on was the tree, and some of the flowers Ryan’s mom planted on the rooftop garden, would be coming with them to their new home. A few months after Alex and Ryan had moved in and settled into their new house Alex found out she was pregnant.
Ryan immediately began working on transforming one of the spare rooms into the baby’s room. Alex knew Ryan was good with his hands but she didn’t realize the occasional wood carvings he did also extended to carpentry.
Duckie was the one who taught a much younger Ryan the ins and outs of woodwork when he had learned Duckie was the one who carved the massive wooden bear statue that still stood in the back corner of the Black Lantern near the dartboard. Ryan was amazed that a block of wood could be shaped and molded into works of art or objects of utility, and he had wanted to know how to do it, too. Ryan, as it turned out, had a knack for woodwork which impressed Duckie immensely at how quickly the young man picked it up. And luckily for Alex, Ryan’s casual hobby and skillset came in handy when they had moved into their new house.
Ryan’s hand left Alex’s for a second to push open the door she figured she was standing in front of. He slipped his hand back into hers and let him lead her inside until he suddenly stopped.
Alex briefly felt the loss of warmth emanating from her husband’s body only to feel two hands placed on her shoulders. He leaned in, his breath tickling against her right ear, and whispered, “You can open your eyes now.”
Moment of truth, Ryan. Hope she likes the final result.
Alex opened her eyes and gasped.
The room they were standing in was painted a canary yellow, a fact Alex and Ryan sometimes still had a good chuckle over that the shade of yellow they picked for the baby’s room happened to be a color named after a bird. Against the wall, where the baby’s crib stood, was a painted magnolia tree with the branches covered in fully bloomed pink blossoms, not dissimilar to the one Ryan gifted her. Perched on some of the painted branches were what looked like black-capped chickadees, one of many birds Alex was now able to identify thanks to Ryan’s wealth of bird knowledge he bestowed upon her. Next to one side of the crib was a rocking chair varnished in dark wood with a small pillow stitched with sparrows, propped on the cushioned seat, and on the other side was a bedside table with a lamp of baby zoo animals decorating the lamp shade. Sunlight from the window across the room illuminated a set of drawers with a stuffed bird and teddy bear sitting on top of it.
“Welcome to Baby Chen-Lucan’s room,” Ryan said, hugging Alex from behind. “What do you think?”
“I love it. Although,” Alex inclined her head enough so she was looking up at Ryan, “kinda went overboard on the bird theme for the baby’s room, don’t you think?”
Ryan rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. “I didn’t mean to. It sort of happened that way. I only intended for Char to paint the magnolia tree with the birds and leave it at that. But then I saw the cute stuffed bird and the pillow, and before I knew it, I was buying those up. At least the lamp has no birds on them?”
Alex laughed and turned around to face her husband, wrapping her arms around his neck. “No, the room is perfect. I wouldn’t have it any other way. Thank you.” She reached up on tiptoes to peck Ryan on the lips.
“You know, we still haven’t really decided on what the baby’s name should be.” Ryan leaned his forehead against Alex’s. “Don’t you think we should finally figure that out? After all, the baby will be here before we know it.”
Alex and Ryan had decided to keep the sex of the baby a surprise, preferring to know when the baby arrived. They went back and forth on possible names for a boy or girl, never quite finding one that fit.
Alex sighed. “You’re right. I thought naming your first child would be easy. It’s a lot harder than we thought.”
Ryan nodded. “I know, but it’s an important one. We wouldn’t want to name our kid something weird like ‘Apple’ or ‘Brooklyn’.”
“Ugh, definitely not those.” Alex wrinkled her nose in disgust. “How about Robert for a boy and Madeline for a girl?”
“Those are fine, but…”
“But?”
“I don’t know,” Ryan shook his head, “those names still don’t feel like the right fit for our son or daughter. I know we have considered a lot of names. Any of them would work, except, none of them stands out as, ‘That’s the one. That’s what we should be calling our baby.’”
Alex tucked her head under Ryan’s chin, silently contemplating what he said. They were probably overthinking the name of their baby but they knew they wanted one that somehow felt like it was meant for their child.
“Wait, I think I got one and I can’t believe neither of us ever thought of it before.”
There was an excitement and certainty in Ryan’s voice that Alex pulled away from him slightly and looked up at him expectantly.
“Let’s hear it.”
“This is for only if we have a son,” Ryan said slowly, “and if you agree, how about ‘Gabriel’?”
Alex’s eyes widened, realization dawning as she caught up to what her husband was suggesting.
“Gabriel? As in…”
Ryan nodded his head, his expression tender but serious. “For Gabe. In honor of our baby’s uncle.”
Alex was quiet, weighing the name in her mind and imagining her and Ryan calling out their potential son’s name. After a few minutes of not hearing Alex respond, she caught a flash of purple suddenly flare around Ryan’s body and an anxious thought snuck into her mind.
Shit, maybe suggesting to name your son after his dead uncle is a bad idea.
Alex instantly brought a hand up to cup Ryan’s cheek and caressed it soothingly to alleviate the fear and anxiousness he felt.
“No, it’s not a bad idea.” Alex smiled and laughed softly. “In fact it’s a great idea. Gabriel Chen-Lucan. Why didn’t we think of it sooner?”
The purple aura around Ryan vanished and he breathed a sigh of relief. He reached up to remove the hand cupping his cheek to hold it instead.
“Now that we’ve locked in a boy’s name, we still have to decide on a girl’s name. I’m guessing calling her ‘Gabrielle’ would be a bit too much, huh?” Ryan joked.
“We’re definitely not calling our daughter ‘Gabrielle’.”
“Agreed, but I bet if Gabe were here, he would love it if we named our daughter a different variation of his name,” Ryan said, grinning at the thought.
Alex rolled her eyes. “Our potential son is already getting his uncle’s name. That’s more than enough to honor Gabe.”
They stood in comfortable silence, both of them going over every girl name they could think of. An idea popped into Alex’s head, but she was uncertain if Ryan would agree. Sensing her unease, Ryan tilted Alex’s head up to look at him, concern clouding his eyes. Even though Ryan didn’t have Alex’s powers, he was always somehow attuned to her emotions, knowing what she needed before she had a chance to express it herself.
“What’s on your mind?”
Alex bit her lower lip, suddenly feeling shy under Ryan’s gaze. “I think I have a possible name for our daughter and it’s also something we hadn’t considered before.”
Ryan nodded and gave the hand he was still holding an encouraging squeeze. “I’m listening.”
“When you said we should name our son Gabriel in honor of his uncle, I was thinking, why not do the same for our daughter?”
“I’m not sure I follow,” Ryan trailed off, looking confused.
Alex took a deep breath to calm the nerves in the pit of her stomach.
“What do you think of naming our daughter ‘Ann’? After your mom?”
“Alex, I don’t know what to say. I mean, really?”
Ryan was genuinely shocked by the suggestion and struggling to find the right words to express himself. Alex wondered if this was a good or bad thing.
“Of course. Did the thought not cross your mind before?”
“No, but neither did the idea of calling our son Gabriel.” Ryan gave her a small smile. “I think that’s a great name for our daughter. But may I suggest one small thing?”
“Sure.”
“How about we give our daughter the middle name ‘Wendy’? That way we both honor the mothers we loved and lost.”
“Ann Wendy Chen-Lucan,” Alex slowly said it out loud, testing how it would sound for the both of them. “I like it.”
Alex felt a small kick against her stomach and she quickly placed Ryan’s hand on top of it so he could feel it too.
“Seems like the baby approves of our name choices.” Alex laughed.
Ryan looked at Alex and then back at her belly, eyes brimming and overflowing with love and adoration. A spectacular ray of gold surrounded him, and Alex allowed the feelings of pure joy engulf them both.
Staying in Haven Springs and building a home and family with Ryan was the best decision of Alex’s life. Glancing around the finished baby’s room before fixing her gaze on her sweet and thoughtful dork of a husband, who bent down to shower kisses on her stomach, Alex wished she could freeze this moment and stay in it forever. She was exactly where she belonged.
Home.