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Rammy challenging her earthly counterpart to a guitar duel had become routine for the two lamb girls. Todays duel had ended in the typical matter, with Lammy winning by a narrow margin. Rammy never did learn her lesson, although Lammy didn't mind; she never played as good as when she was competing against her rival. She had the suspicion that the only thing preventing Rammy from enjoying it just as much was how much of a sore loser she was.
"Fine, you win. Guess I'll just go back to Hell now," Rammy said, sulking.
"How do you get to back to Hell, anyway?" asked Lammy. "Do you just fax yourself there or something?"
Rammy gave Lammy a look of absolute contempt for her ignorance, as if she just asked her what two plus two is. "First of all, its not a fax machine, its a Supersonic Transportation Device. Second, it doesn't work like that. If you're going from Earth to Hell, you have to use this." She took out a small black box with a slot on the top. It didn't take Lammy long to realize what it was.
"Is th-that a paper shredder?" she asked, horror dawning in her voice.
"No, its a Infernal Ingress Instrument. Seriously, what do they teach you at school?"
"It is a shredder! You're e-entering a shredder, killing yourself a-and going to Hell!"
Rammy awkwardly positioned herself into the slot as best as she could. "I've done this a thousand times. It doesn't hurt at all." As she pressed the button to activate the device, Lammy instinctively ran to stop her.
"Don't do it!" she yelled, grabbing ahold of Rammy by the abdomen and pulling as hard as she can.
"Hey, get off me!" said Rammy, flailing furiously in an an attempt to get Lammy to loosen her grip. In the end Lammy won out, pulling Rammy out of the shredder. For a second she felt a moment of relief, but as soon as she looked down she began having a panic attack. Despite her best efforts, Rammy's legs were already turned into a shredded mess below the knees. Rammy stared at the mutilated paper with only mild annoyance.
"Oh great, look what you did. Now only my shins are in Hell."
"We've g-g-got to call an ambulance!"
"No need. Just let me finish what I started. That way I can get my legs back."
"Please don't kill yourself!"
"I'm not dying. How many times do I have to explain this simple fact?"
"You're sh-shredding yourself into pieces so you c-can go to Hell, how is that not dying?"
"...Shut up." said Rammy weakly. "Look, like I said, I've done this a thousand times. I'll just go into the machine, and next week I'll show up for another battle and it'll be like this has never happened. Just cover your eyes or something."
Lammy hesistated for a moment. If it was true that Rammy did this constantly, then she supposed the best option was to let her do it. But she really didn't like the idea of her friend (and although she would hate it if she found out, Lammy really did consider Rammy her friend) grinding herself into pieces as a method of convenient transportation. Even if Rammy didn't seem to feel any pain at all from the procedure.
"So, do you really do this every time after our duels?"
"How many times do I have to get it through your thick skull? Yes, I do!"
Reluctantly, Lammy let go. As Rammy crawled towards the Infernal Ingress Instrument, Lammy closed her eyes as hard as she can and plugged her ears. She tried to think about happy things like rainbows and pandas and Katy and definitely nothing to do with shredders. She vowed that if she ever saw Rammy again, (and part of her was still afraid she wouldn't), she'd hug her as tight as she could.
Rammy awoke in Hell, disorientated. Well, entering Hell was always disorientiating, for Hell wasn't exactly the most orientating of places, but this time it felt more so than usual. It probably had something to do with how her severed feet were lying right next to her.
"Goddamnit." Rammy reminded herself to add another entry to her list of grudges against Lammy.
"Let me guess," said a passing devil. "Accident using the shredder, right?"
"Shut up and help me glue these back on."