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Jared Padalecki was sure he had died and gone to hell. He had lost count of the times he’d had to run away now, trying to avoid how sickeningly sweet they were. He knew that he and Gen were bad when they had started going together, but at least that had only lasted a small amount of time. This? This had gone on for years now. And he was over it.
It had started innocently enough. At the same time Jared had been flirting with Genevieve he had noticed that Jensen was flirting with Misha. And just like Gen had flirted back with Jared, Misha was more than happy to flirt back with Jensen. Jared hadn’t thought about it as much at the time. After all, Misha was married and Jensen was dating Danneel. There was nothing going on there.
Then one day he’d walked into Jensen’s trailer to ask him something and he’d walked in on them clearly making out. Jared had taken their wide eyed stares at him and the way they had sprung back from each other as a clear sign he was interrupting something. He had apologised and left the trailer, trying to wrap his head around what he had just seen.
Jensen had sort him out later that day and pulled him into his trailer for a ‘talk’. Jensen had admitted that yes, it was exactly what it looked like. And yes, Vicki and Dee knew exactly what was going on and in fact supported it provided they got updates, pictures and videos. Jared had cringed at the last. He really didn’t need to know that fact. “Gross,” he had told Jensen, and made him promise to never accidently send him anything.
For a while everything had gone on like nothing had happened. But Jared could see the little looks the two of them shared. The flirty little smile Jensen would give Misha that made Misha break from character into a fit of giggles. The stolen touches. The way Misha could make Jensen double over laughing. It wasn’t that obvious unless you knew something was going on.
Then they had gotten bolder. While they had been in Jared’s trailer one night after filming watching an episode Misha had just so casually dropped himself into Jensen’s lap. Jensen had wrapped his arms around Misha, and Jared hadn’t thought anything of it until he heard Jensen peppering kisses over Misha’s neck and shoulders. They started whispering and giggling together, making little cute faces at one another. It was sickeningly cute.
And then Jensen’s hand had slipped up under Misha’s shirt and Jared had called out to remind them where they were. Jensen had just given him a smirk and a wink and kept going which had delighted Misha. “Seriously Jensen, you two are being gross,” Jared had said. They had taken pity on him and pulled back, Misha sliding from Jensen’s lap and onto the seat beside him.
Jensen had checked in on Jared a few days later. He was apparently worried that Jared might have issue with the fact that Jensen and Misha were both men. Jared had assured them this wasn’t the case. It was just that they were so sweet and cute with each other that it made him gag. Jensen had teased him and reminded him of the puppy dog eyes he’d given Gen when they’d first started flirting. Jared knew he was right, but reminded Jensen that he and Gen were over that stage now whereas Misha and Jensen were still stuck in it. Jensen had given a dismissive wave and promised to tone it down a little.
And they had. For a little while. And then at conventions they were openly flirting again. They were always going out to dinner and buying each other cute little gifts. Jensen had even given Misha one of his rings. And then the clothes sharing had started. It was like they were in a permanent honeymoon phase. It just made Jared eye roll.
He couldn’t be alone with them without them making little innuendo comments and jokes with each other. Jared now knew more about their sex lives than he ever wanted to know. He wondered if maybe they were doing it deliberately to get a rise out of him. Jared found himself gagging on more than one occasion more out of habit now than actual revulsion.
He knew that Misha was apparently loud in bed, and Jensen often joked about getting Misha to scream his name. And apparently Jensen’s accent kink was worse than Jared realised. Apparently Misha could get Jensen to come just with his accents alone. And they had done it more than once over the phone when they were apart. Jared didn’t even want to touch their phones after hearing that, but at the same time he wondered if maybe that was the plan given how he’d prank their phones if he got them.
Jensen also had a habit of sharing too much information when he and Jared were talking. On more than one occasion Jared had had to cover his ears and say “no, no, gross, enough Jensen” which had just made Jensen laugh. Jared was absolutely sure Jensen was doing it deliberately. And then in one of his pranks Misha had stuck a blurry picture up on Jared’s mirror that appeared to show the two of them naked. For that Jared had double knotted all of Misha’s shoelaces together while he was on set filming.
And then came all the pet names. ‘Sweetheart’, ‘honeybee’, ‘babe’, ‘darling one’, ‘teddy bear’. It seemed to be a never ending list of endearments, and some of them were so sickeningly cute that Jared just shuddered when he heard them. He was sure he was going to get diabetes from being around the two of them so much.
Of course the cast and crew knew about them, although no one ever said anything. There were jokes and small innuendoes, but it seemed like it was for Jared that most of the PDA was saved for. It was as if they were going out of their way to be overtly cute and cuddly when he was around. They spent the whole day bottling up their affection and just unleashed it when it was just them and Jared.
Finally he had told them that he couldn’t stand the cuteness anymore. It had been years now and they were still in the cutesy phase with each other. He wanted to know when it was going to end. They had looked at each other and laughed.
“Probably never is,” Misha had said with a shrug.
“I can’t help it,” Jensen had said, pulling Misha too him and peppering kisses over his cheek. “He’s such an adorable little teddy bear.”
“Gross, Jensen,” Jared had complained.
That had gotten him another smirk and a wink, and that was when Jared knew he was in hell.