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Ned slid his lunch tray down on the table, placing himself on the right of Peter. “Dude!” He whisper-shouted with the usual child-like giddiness when it came to anything Spider-related. “Who’s that girl you’ve been running with?!? It’s blowing up on twitter!”
Peter quickly ducked down and discreetly swiveled his, making sure nobody overheard. “SHHH!! Oh my god, Ned, are you tryna blow my cover?!?” Peter whispered through his teeth. Ned grinned, but had the decency to act a little apologetic.
“Sorry, sorry, it's just so cool! I mean the way you two stopped that Mercedes from barreling through that job fair?!? That was so cool!!”
Peter beamed at his friend, noting the pure unadulterated joy reaching his lips. “Yea, that WAS pretty cool, thanks.”
Furrowing his brows, a question formulating in Ned’s head. “Wait, actually, now that i think about it, how did you meet her? And why didn’t you tell me about her?”
Peter rubs the back of his neck sheepishly, embarrassment clear on his face. “Yea, shit, sorry man. You know how its been. The internship, Training with Double D, homework and all my other duties. “ He shrugs, exhaustion clear on his face. “But oh yea! How I met her. I was out patrolling a couple weeks ago, when I saw her jump out of a random penthouse, jewelry and paintings in her bag. I swung down at her, and I took a cheap shot; a clean miss.”
Ned’s eyes opened up like dinner plates. “dude , my guy, what?!? You missed???”
Peter’s head bobbed up and down at a break-neck speed. “I couldn’t believe it myself.” He cracks his neck to the left, closing both his eyes. A small sigh escapes his lips. “Anyways, as soon as she set her eyes on me she was burning my defenses by the shaking of her hips.”
Shaking his head is disbelief, Ned replies “Shaking of her hips? Okay, Shakira.”
Peter pursed his lips. “Dude, you don’t get it. She literally swayed her hips like a runway model. Now shut up, let me continue.” He quickly shovelled some food in his mouth. “Alright, anyways, where was I? Oh, yea. And then she moves in; a quick kiss, breathing down my neck, she had me wrapped around her wrist.”
Ned slightly exhales at that revelation. Peter whips his head back towards Ned. “Don’t say it dude.” A huge smirk breaches Ned's lips, a singular “Heh.” is all that can be heard.
He shakes his head and continues on. “I don’t know how she did it, but she messed with my web-shooters. Busted’em as soon as I pressed the trigger. I tried to, break loose; tight grip. But, god, Ned, You shoulda seen her. Straight up Knocking me unconscious when she bit her bottom lip.”
Interjecting once again, Ned has his left knee bouncing at mach speed. “Okay man I gotta say this. You are so down bad, y’know???”
Peter gently slaps his arm with a red tint against his cheeks. “I guess so. But yea. It was a lost cause; a fast fight. Like honestly dude, all I remember thinking was She ain’t taking any prisoners and she’s through playing nice.”
Ned could only giggle as Peter recalled last week's events. Peter turned thoughtfully towards Ned. “Y’know, now that I think about it, Uncle Ben had an old saying about girls like her.” Ned raised his eyebrows, a look of confusion spreading over his face.
Peter takes this as a signal to continue on. “Yea, he said it’s like… she loaded the bullets with my blood in the rounds . Means she knows what turns a guy on. Aunt May was… wild, in her college days.”
Ned almost choked on his drink laughing. “Dude, but she’s so... chill now?!?”
He shrugs slightly. “Priorities change Ned. Think that's when I came along.” A brief pregnant pause levels between them, before Peter picks back up on his story. “But this girl, definitely, yeah she’s a sweet six shooter, she knows how to get down. Or atleast, until the kick-back when my heart hits the ground, but we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” Peter silently licks his lips, and crosses his left leg over his right leg. “Next thing i know, She said “You think you’re so tough, baby put your hands up” and ran off into the night.”
Ned, once again, could only shake his head lightly. “I gotta say it again man, you got it down BAD.”
Peter Taps his fingers on the table, and places a balled up fist over his mouth. “You’re damn right I do. Remember what I just said? She Loaded the bullets with my blood in the rounds. Yeah she’s a sweet six shooter, she knows how to get DOWN. Or, well, yeah, at least inevitably until the kick-back when my heart hits the ground. But like c’mon man. I can’t get that outta my head. She said “you think you’re so tough , baby put your hands up, yeah.” and that lowkey just sends chills down my spine.”
Ned sighs and pats Peter on the back. “Dude what is your life???” A sudden realization of panic spreads across Ned's face. “Oh my god Peter, what if she’s a succubus?!? Or a vampire?!? Like I mean the ones from Twilight?!? What if she tries to suck out your life force?!?!?”
He returns the favour, and proceeds this time to pat Ned on the back. “Relax Ned, it’s okay. Don’t worry, I'm fine! And besides, she can’t suck out my life force. Although technically speaking, the thing she DID suck out was in essence, my life force.” Peter enunciates the last bit of his sentence with air quotes, while Ned proceeds to choke on air again.
Ned manages to sputter out a few strained words. “Peter… once again… what the-FUCK… is your life?!?”
He wiggles his eyebrows and gently nods his head. “Heh, yea, that kitty cat needs her cream.”
Ned’s face deepens an even more crimson red, and has a coughing fit nigh on par with an asthma attack. After about a minute of continuous hacking, he manages to get his breathing under control. Inhaling and exhaling as slowly as he can, he manages to just say under a whisper, “Man just, just continue. I don’t know how much more of this I can take.”
Peter nods once more, proceeding on with his story. “Oh, yea, so about I think a week in? Yea, a week in I just like… stop resisting her. Can you blame me?? And so I, break off, I give in. Feeling pretty good about the trouble that I'm in.”
Raising an eyebrow, Ned asks “dude, a week? It only took a week to be broken in??”
All Peter could do in response was a quick shrug. “You weren’t the one dealing with her every night. But anyways, yea, it only took a week for She got me; beat down and bruised up. I’m bleeding, barely breathing, but I can not get enough!”
Ned blinks slowly, one eye at a time. “She sounds like an absolute dominatrix.”
Peter's mind was still swirling, and he felt himself slowly getting a semi-chub after talking about her. Loaded the bullets with my blood in the rounds . Yeah she’s a sweet six shooter she knows how to get down. Wracking his mind, he thinks out loud “Yeah, she really kinda is. Don’t know how she knew exactly what would turn me on, though. Girl’s wildin.”
Smacking his lips together and pausing. “Don’t think Aunt May knows yet. She’s been too busy to see the news, as of late.” Until the kick-back when my heart hits the ground, She said “You think you’re so tough, “Baby put your hands up!” “Kinda glad though. She’d freak if she found out, and it’s not like I planned for it to happen. Kinda, just did, y’know?” Loaded the bullets with my blood in the rounds . Yeah she’s a sweet six shooter she knows how to get down.
Ned's head bobs in agreement. “Mmm yea, you’re probably right. She’d probably react a little less than I did, but probably more angry and concerned. Do you regret anything though?” Until the kick-back when my heart hits the ground, She said “You think you’re so tough, “Baby put your hands up, Yeah!”
Blinking rapidly, Peter lets out the breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Y’know, I never really thought about it. I mean, I feel free every time I’m out chasing her. Like, She gets me deep in the chest. Straight through my bullet proof vest. She kisses like a grenade, like a blade, or a bayonet. All I know is, she really gets my heart pumping.”
Nodding in confirmation, Ned pats his thigh. “Me and Betty weren’t like that, we were more like a birthday sparkler. Bright and pretty in the beginning, then quickly diffuses. Yours sounds more… toxic??”
She gets me deep in the chest. Straight through my bullet proof vest.
Taking that in, Peter verbally expresses his inner thoughts. “Is it toxic? I figured we were just having fun and messing around.”
She kisses like a grenade, like a blade, or a bayonet.
Humming along to the low vibrations of fluorescent lights he continues on. “I mean, she knows everything about my body. Is that so bad??” She gets me deep in the chest.
Straight through my bullet proof vest.
Ned places his hand on Peters bicep and says as slowly as he can, “dude… we’re guys. Anything gets us going. And besides, didn’t you say “ She kisses like a grenade, like a blade, or a bayonet??” those are all Deadly my guy.”
Loaded the bullets, with my blood in the rounds. Yeah she’s a sweet six shooter she knows how to get down
Until the kick-back, when my heart hits the ground
Shrugging his shoulders slightly, a small grin graces his lips. “True, but I've never had this much fun since I started.”
She said you think you’re so tough, baby put your hands up, yeah
Clapping and rubbing his hands together, Ned shrugs. “Welp, as long as you're happy I guess.”
Loaded the bullets with my blood in the round
Finishing the rest of his gummy-bears, Peter silently agrees. “Yep, thanks for looking out for me man, I appreciate it. But, just like Ben always said. "Yeah she’s a sweet six shooter, she knows how to get down” Packing back up the rest of his lunch, he straightens out his shirt. “Yep, I'll enjoy this, or at least Until the kick-back, when my heart hits the ground. Don’t think that’ll happen any time soon, though.”
Two silky smooth arms drape themselves over his shoulders entwining together, and platinum blonde hair blankets over him. A barely audible voice from behind brushes up against his ear, huskily whispering “ You think you’re so tough, baby put your hands up, yeah~”