Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Kojiro keeps glancing sidelong at Kaoru as they sit on the floor bathed in the light of Kaoru’s TV. The guests have all gone home from the dinner hosted by the Sakurayashikis to wish Kojiro well as he leaves the comfort of Okinawa for culinary school in Florence. The party was “all too much” and “so very thoughtful” according Kojiro’s mother, who thanked them through tears she was barely holding back as she made her goodbyes.

Kojiro started to help clean up the left-over food, when he saw Kaoru swipe the last of the sake before the two of them were shooed upstairs by Kaoru’s mother.

Now, they’re in his bedroom playing video games, upping the stakes with the bottle of stolen sake, bickering as if this is not the last few hours they have together for months, possibly years and Kojiro feels like his heart is being pulled from his chest. Kaoru’s angular features and long hair, haphazardly thrown into a partial ponytail, seem to dance in the glow of the screen. Kojiro is captivated by him. Years of repressed desire and love are bubbling up from deep within his gut. What he wouldn’t give to run his thumb down his sharp jawline, card his fingers through his wild hair. He’s taken with how adorable Kaoru looks in his pajamas, a huge t-shirt with sleeves that brush his elbows and soft shorts that show off his lean, strong legs stopping a few inches above his knee. Kojiro imagines what it would be like to have Kaoru sit in his lap as they play to wrap his arms around Kaoru and rest his chin on his shoulder. All the while, he feels heaviness in the room, dragging him down as the clock ticks on, threatening to split him in two. 

He tries to focus on the game, but a cut scene comes up allowing Kaoru to fill every space in his brain. He finds himself thinking back to Kaoru’s unsurprisingly snide remarks every time the culinary program has come up.

“There must not have been an IQ test on the entrance exam,” was his reply when Kojiro told him he’d been accepted.

And, “It’s not safe for an idiot to handle knives for a career,” in response to Kojiro trying to work out the time difference between the two countries.

Kojiro had been doing his best to be lighthearted about it, teasing Kaoru about how much he would miss him once he was gone. On the inside, he’d been begging for Kaoru to agree, to say he won’t know what to do without him, that he can’t breathe when he thinks of the distance between them.

Just like Kojiro.

Suddenly, Kaoru turns to him with an unfamiliar expression on his face, cheeks tinted red from the alcohol.

“Wha-,” Kojiro starts.

“I-,” says Kaoru at the same time. 

“Oh, um sorry, go ahead,” Kojiro mumbles as he rubs the back of his neck.

He doesn’t understand why he feels so awkward. He’s been pushing down his feelings for Kaoru and burying them under shallow relationships with shallow people for years now, but in this moment it's like one wrong word will have him pouring his heart out and he’s starting to forget why he ever hid his feelings in the first place. Kaoru takes a deep breath and Kojiro can’t stop himself from hoping they are both nervous for the same reasons. Unconsciously he leans forward, just slightly, at the anticipation of Kaoru’s words. 

“I...I just wanted to tell you I am really...inspired by you. I mean- you know, by all of it, you getting accepted to culinary school and going abroad and all that” Kaoru says in a matter of fact voice that doesn’t match the odd expression he is still wearing. 

“You, huh? You’re inspired? By me?” Kojiro feels the flush in his cheeks spread until it's like his entire body is on fire. 

“Yes, pasta for brains, don’t make me say it again!” 

Kojiro’s mind is reeling, he keeps replaying the words over and over again in his head. Kaoru is inspired by him , by what he’s doing. He tells himself to take the words at face value, but he wants to find more to them. What else has Kaoru left unsaid? Does he dare to hope there’s more? He’s ripped from his almost trance like state by Kaoru yelling, “YOU MISSED IDIOT! NOW WE’RE DEAD!” 

GAME OVER flashes across the screen and Kaoru glares at Kojiro while handing him the sake bottle. 

“Well that was definitely your fault, drink up” 

Kojiro lifts the bottle to his lips, “oh, its um empty,” he stammers out. 

“Probably for the best, you do have a long flight tomorrow,” Kaoru frowns and Kojiro has to fight the strong urge to kiss the corner of his mouth. 

“I’ll go get us some water,” he says quickly, suddenly desperate to get out of Kaoru’s room.

Instead of heading downstairs to the kitchen, he rushes down the hall to the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, he splashes water on his face trying to calm the heat under his skin. While the water runs, he stares at his reflection looking to regain the sanity he seems to have lost over the course of the evening. 

Then, Kojiro realizes he is frustrated.  Why did Kaoru say that tonight when he’s had months to give his opinion? Stupid four-eyes, where does he get off giving a compliment so casually like that anyway?

He rubs his face in his hands and realizes it’s still wet. Clumsily, he grabs for the towel hanging beside the mirror, which falls to the floor. As he bends to pick it up, something bright catches his eye. It's one of Kaoru’s yellow hair ties. Kojiro picks it up and twists it between his thumb and index finger, imagining it wrapped around the flowing pink hair he sees so often in his dreams. 

“Kojiro?” there's a knock at the door. 

“Ye-ah?” his voice cracks as he quickly shuts off the water and stuffs the hair tie in the pocket of his sweats without thinking. 

“Are you okay in there? You said you were getting some water and you never came back.” 

Opening the door, Kojiro looks down at his feet, “I’m fine, just got a little sidetracked.”

“Your face is dripping.” 

“Ah, shit,” Kojiro hastily picks the towel up from where it was forgotten on the tile and rubs it quickly over his face. 

As he is hanging the towel back on its hook, he can feel Kaoru staring at him like he’s unsure of what to do next. 

“Um, I guess we should get some sleep, huh?” Kojiro cuts through the silence, his voice a little louder than he had intended. 

“Right, wouldn’t want your last few brain cells dying off,” Kaoru says, spinning on his heels and walking back toward his bedroom. 

----

Kojiro wakes with a start on the futon in Kaoru’s room to the sound of his phone ringing directly in his ear. When did it get there? He must have fallen asleep scrolling through his flight itinerary for the millionth time. His neck is sore and he realizes he also managed to fall asleep without using the pillow or blanket Kaoru had gotten out of the hall closet for him. He hears a groan from the mountain of blankets in which Kaoru had enveloped himself for the night. 

“Jirooooooo” Kaoru whines, and throws a pillow out from his cocoon in Kojiro’s general direction. 

“Oh, my phone,” Kojiro looks down to see his mom’s contact flashing across the screen. 

“Hey ma”

“Kojiro, you sound so tired! You better be ready when I get there, we can’t be late!”

“Yeah, I’ll be outside waiting for you” 

“Okay, well get up and get a move on, I’m just down the road.” 

“Yeah, yeah I’m up. See you in a minute.”

Kojiro jumps up and grabs his backpack, glancing over to make sure Kaoru has burrowed back down before stripping out of his sweats and tank top and quickly shuffling into the clothes he wore to the party the night before. He takes a look around the room, making sure he hasn’t left anything lying around. Then he turns back to where Kaoru is sleeping and hesitates, wishing he could stretch time, but he knows the moment has come. 

“Kaoru,” he says softly, “hey, Kaoru.”

“Hmph,” says the lump of blankets.

“I’m sorry to wake you, but I have to go.”

Kaoru grumbles something under his breath that sounds a lot like “please don’t,” to Kojiro. 

“Didn’t catch that glasses, come on my mom is almost here.” 

Kaoru lets out a long sigh and starts unwrapping himself from the sheets. 

“Walk me out?” Kojiro says when Kaoru finally sits up at the edge of the bed. 

“Mhmmm” Kaoru grunts in response, rubbing his eyes hard. 

They shuffle through the house, down to the front door where Kojiro bends down to put on his shoes. He stands up to see Kaoru staring at him, face twisted into a worried expression. 

“Well, I guess this is it. I’m really leaving.”

“Yep.” quips Kaoru as he fumbles opening the door. 

“I- um… you promise to call right?” Kojiro can feel tears starting to prick the corners of his eyes. 

“Of course, don’t be an idiot.” Kaoru says looking down at his feet, shifting his weight from one to the other. 

In an almost whisper, Kojiro breathes out, “Kaoru….can I give you a hug?”

Kaoru just nods, still not looking up. Kojiro slides his arms around Kaoru's shoulders, then pulls him in tightly. Kaoru freezes for a moment and then lets out a long breath and wraps his arms around Kojiro's waist. Kojiro can feel Kaoru’s lips pressed against his shoulder through the fabric of his button-down shirt and his knees go weak. 

He buries his face in Kaoru’s wild bedhead, “I’m really going to miss you, don't forget me, four-eyes.” 

“Of course I won’t forget you, dimwit! I suppose I’ll miss you too...a little.”

Kojiro looks up as his mom’s car comes to a stop at the front gate of the Sakurayashiki house. He gives Kaoru a final squeeze and lets him go, bending down to grab his backpack. Still blinking back tears, he heads down the front walk.

“Are you ready, sweetheart? Today’s the big day!” his mother says as he slides into the car.

Kojiro mumbles a response hoping he sounds excited enough to keep her from worrying. All he can focus on is Kaoru’s face in the doorway, shrinking as the car pulls away. 

----

When they finally reach the airport, nervous excitement has replaced Kojiro’s heartache.

His mom talked non stop the entire way there, reminding him of how to navigate international travel and the details of how to get to his apartment once he arrived in Italy. She also reminded him no less than 10 times to update her each step of the way and to call her as soon as he landed, even though it would be 2 AM in Okinawa.

After hugs goodbye through bittersweet tears, Kojiro is on his own.

Meandering through the airport, he digs through his backpack for his passport and suddenly stops in his tracks. The people walking around him  have to hastily change directions to avoid bumping into him. But Kojiro doesn’t notice them, all he can see is the yellow hair tie in his hands, a small piece of Kaoru stowed away with him. He slips the hair tie on his wrist pausing at the feeling of calm that washes over him and confidently sets off for Florence.

Chapter Text

The sunlight streams into the bedroom of Kojiro’s Florence apartment on a Saturday morning, 3 months after his arrival in Italy. A beam of light hits him directly across his closed eyelids and he wakes up with a groan. 

So far, his culinary program has been everything he ever dreamed of and at the same time totally exhausting. He trains long hours everyday and goes out with his friends from the program a few times a week. He’s even met a girl, Layla. She’s funny and exciting. She’s Swiss and her English is excellent which has helped him get more comfortable conversationally. Their stations are across the classroom from each other and that allows him to make flirty expressions at her while they stir sauce and sauté vegetables. Sometimes when he catches her eye, he thinks they could really be something. He still thinks of Kaoru constantly, but the sharp sting of his absence that he felt the first few weeks in Florence has dulled back down into the typical heartache he felt back home. He has started to tell himself he might just be able to move on with this distance between them. Like he might return to Japan as Kaoru’s best friend once more instead of the idiot who is in love with a guy who doesn't feel the same way. 

With another long groan Kojiro turns to his phone on the bedside table and sees it is already 10 AM. He needs to get up and get ready to meet a few classmates, including Layla, for their plans to hit a bunch of tourist spots. Besides the time, his phone is displaying 3 new messages from Kaoru. He feels the typical flutter in his chest, a burst of excitement at the thought Kaoru was thinking of him. The dull longing follows like it always does, but he doesn’t mind it as much as he did a couple of months ago. He reframes it in his mind, almost convincing himself that it is just normal homesickness. As if he would feel the same way were the messages from any old classmate and not just because they are from Kaoru. 

Pink-head: 

Today 5:15 AM  

Are you awake? 

Today 5:16 AM

Nevermind, of course you aren’t. I'm having Italian for lunch. Is carbonara supposed to be lumpy? Need to know.  

Today 5:21 AM 

I’m thinking no is the answer to that question. This is awful...is this what you are learning to cook? Yikes. 

Me: 

Today 10:06 AM 

Don’t worry princess, my carbonara is already perfect. 

Kojiro kicks off the sheets and jumps up to get ready for the day. After brushing his teeth and shaving Kojiro picks up a towel to dry his face only to drop it on the floor. Deja vu washes over him as he reaches down and catches a glimpse of the yellow hair tie on his wrist. 

Images of Kaoru’s pink cheeks and piercing eyes from his last few hours in Okinawa flash through his mind. He remembers the odd expressions he wore and how he pressed his face into Kojiro’s shoulder when they said goodbye. Kojiro’s cheeks flush as he thinks of Kaoru’s adorable bedhead when he was pulling himself out of his blankets that morning, and how his soft shorts had ridden up his thighs revealing the bruises, he had gotten bailing under the overpass a few days prior, staining his beautiful skin. 

“Shit,” he breaths out pounding his fist on the counter top. He shakes his head as if that will clear the memories and finishes his morning routine. 

Kojiro’s stomach growls while he is tying his shoes and he grabs some of the biscotti di prato he had baked in class the day before from his kitchen counter as he heads out the door. Munching on his biscotti he takes his time to walk to the bus stop nearest his apartment, drinking in the sights and sounds of his neighborhood. He loves the bright colors of the flowers and the laundry hanging out to dry. Every time he gets on the bus to a new destination he feels like a kid, full of wonder at this country that is so different from his home. As apartments, gardens and shops fly by his vision through the bus window, he finds his mind wandering to Kaoru again. Imagining himself giving Kaoru a tour of all of the sights he passes. Showing him to the little café near his apartment, the art gallery by his school. The bus slows and he catches sight of Layla with their classmates, Carlos and Aleksandar. With a melancholy grin he hops off the business to join them on their way to Giardino di Boboli.  

“Kojiro!” Layla exclaims, waving him over. 

“Hey, you guys! I hope you weren’t waiting too long,” says Kojiro with a charming smile. 

“No, no we just got here, shall we go?” asks Carlos. 

They set off for the gardens with Carlos and Aleksandar pulling ahead a few paces lost in conversation about their upcoming exam. Korjio can feel Layla’s eyes on him and he preens under the attention. 

“Kojiro,” she giggles, “what’s this on your shirt?” she reaches up and brushes crumbs off his chest, letting her fingertips linger for just a moment longer than necessary. 

“Oops, I had biscotti on my way here, guess things got a little messy,” Kojiro says with a wink. 

“I bet your biscotti is really good, mine are always too soft,” Layla pouts.

“Maybe you need a private tutor,” Kojrio says with a smirk that has Layla giggling and latching onto his arm as they queue for the tickets to the garden.  

Aleksandar glances back over his shoulder and gives Kojiro an approving look, further boosting his confidence, so he decides to pay for Layla’s ticket. It's only 6€, but Kojiro hopes the gesture will keep things moving in his favor today. If everything goes well, maybe he can take Layla to dinner and even dancing later. 

They walk through the gardens admiring the sculptures and fruit trees, chatting casually about classes and their lives back home. After a while, they pass a large fountain situated on a terrace overlooking a courtyard. Kojiro points out a cherub riding a really distressed looking turtle on one corner of the fountain, trying to keep a straight face as Carlos bursts into laughter at the sight. Layla reaches up and grabs Kojiro’s outstretched arm. 

“What’s this?” she asks, snapping Kaoru’s hair tie where it sits wrapped around Korjiro’s wrist. 

“I’ve noticed how you always wear it. Look! You even have a tan line from it!” 

“Oh that, it's just a reminder of home,” Kojiro says trying to be nonchalant. 

“Awwww how sweet. You must seriously never take it off, the edges are starting to fray, let me see.” Layla quickly pulls off the hair tie and twirls it on her finger. 

“Hey!” starts Kojiro, “um, please just be careful with that.” 

Layla takes the tie and stretches it between her index fingers like she's going to shoot it off. 

“Wait! Seriously, that's important to me,” Kojiro frowns, snatching the hair tie and sliding it back to where it belongs on his wrist.  

“Oh come on Kojiro! I'm just messing around, what's the big deal?” Layla says, staring up at him. Carlos and Aleksander pretend to be busy discussing the bricks in the terrace wall and Kojiro realizes they are starting to make a scene.

“No, no it's okay, sorry I'm uh..Im just tired.” Kojiro shoves his hands in his pockets and looks around, not wanting to make eye contact. 

“Um okay, then..should we make our way to the next spot?” says Layla, sounding annoyed. 

They all walk out of the garden back to the bus stop and Kojiro can’t shake how upset he feels. The next stop they have planned is the Fortezza de Basso, a long bus ride across the river from where they are. Kojiro feels overwhelmed at the thought of having to sit in close quarters with Layla after the awkward interaction they just had, not to mention the idea of spending the rest of the day with Carlos and Aleksander after embarrassing himself. When their bus arrives, he makes a quick decision to go home instead. 

“Look, I am really tired, I think maybe I’m coming down with a cold, I’m just going to head home. Sorry guys.” 

“Oh uh, no sweat.” mumbles Aleksander. 

Carlos, chimes in, “Yeah no problem, dude, feel better.”

 “Are you for real Kojiro?” Layla says under her breath, then she speaks up, “Let us know when you get home. Feel better.” 

Once he's on his bus back home, Kojiro pulls his phone out and scrolls through his favorite old messages from Kaoru. A habit he has picked up to lift his mood when he is feeling out of place in Florence. 

Pink-head

15/08 12:18 PM

Have you updated your phone for the new emojis? Look this is you → 👹

----

Pink-head

07/09 1:27 PM

I just ripped my shirt and it reminded me of you. Remember how hard you bailed when you were trying to land your first crail snatcher and you tore the sleeve off your uniform shirt? What an oaf! 

----

Pink-head

28/09 11:19 AM

You have to see this new tech I'm building, I really am a genius. Let me know when you have time to video chat. 

Suddenly a new message from Kojiro’s mother pops in and his heart races like he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t be doing. 

Ma

Today 1:39 PM

Hi Sweetie! Send me pictures of your day today, I hope you are having fun! Love you 

Kojiro is thrown back into a sour mood. He doesn't want to have to explain to his mom that he has no pictures to share because he got upset over a stupid hair tie. He rubs his face in frustration and puts his phone back in his pocket for the remainder of the ride home. 

Back in the quiet of his apartment Kojiro paces the floor trying to decide what to do. It’s only the middle of the afternoon and he had a whole day planned that he now has to fill up. He considers going for a run or heading to the gym early rather than waiting for the late night workout he would have done, maybe that would clear his head. He starts replaying the scene in the garden over again, trying to justify his behavior. He knows he messed everything up with Layla, but wasn’t she kind of a brat? Bratty behavior had never bothered him before, Kaoru is his best friend after all. Then it hits him, it's Kaoru, he’s been kidding himself thinking he feels homesick. He’s not homesick, he’s lovesick just like he always has been. Layla is just like every other person he's ever pursued, nice enough in their own way but with one major flaw, she’s not Kaoru. After a few more laps around his apartment, he flops down on the bed without any plans for the rest of the day.

---

Kojiro wakes up in the late afternoon light with a sigh. How long had he been asleep? He hadn’t really meant to fall asleep at all. He fishes his phone out of his pocket and checks the time, 4:12 PM. Then, to his surprise, Kaoru's contact pops up on his screen for a video call. 

“Hey, cinnamon stick.” he says sheepishly. 

“Well hello to you too,” says Kaoru haughtily, “you look awful, I thought you had fun plans today?” 

“Yeah, they um..fell through. I just woke up from a nap.”

“That’s not like you,” Kaoru pauses, “...Kojiro, are you okay?”

“I am, really, I’m just kind of homesick I guess.” Kojiro flushes at the admission, if only Kaoru knew what he was really missing. 

Seeming not to notice the color in his cheeks, Kaoru’s face breaks into a sly grin. “Well then, do I have some great news for you.”

Kojiro perks up, “Oh yeah? Lay it on me.”

“I bought a ticket today, I’m coming to visit you.”

Chapter Text

A couple of weeks after their trip to the gardens, on a sunny October afternoon, Kojiro and Layla sit under the awning of a café sipping espresso. Kojiro knows now that a romantic relationship is not in the cards for them, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be friends. Layla had initiated this outing and he could see the white flag waving with her invitation. 

“So tell me more about this friend from home, what is he like?” asks Layla. 

“Well, he’s my best friend, he’s a pain in my ass, mostly because he is smart and chaotic all at the same time. He has always been there for me though, since we were just little kids. It will be great to have him here, I think he is going to love the food and the sights.”

“Chaotic, huh? Sounds like fun. Is he cute too?” 

Kojiro chokes on his espresso. “Eh, you could say that I guess…”

Layla looks expectantly across the table at him, so Kojiro continues, “He um…he’s tall and thin and he has long pink hair, that he wears in a lot of different kinds of ponytails.” 

“Ponytails?” questions Layla, “it’s his isn’t it? The hair tie?” 

Kojiro feels his cheeks going red, “Yeah, yes it's his”

“Oh Kojiro, I’m so sorry. I messed with you and I just didn’t understand how special it is to you, but I do now.” 

“You do now?”

“Well yeah, you love him right?” 

Kojiro’s mouth hangs open and he blinks at Layla in disbelief. She’s the first person to ever call him on his feelings for Kaoru and she’s never even met him. He’s never spoken about his feelings aloud, but the fleeting nature of his time in Florence makes him feel confident and free  to speak truthfully to her. 

He lets out a long breath, “Yeah, I do. I have for a long time.”

Layla looks pointedly at him, “Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know, I’ve never found the right time.” 

“You're in Italy! He is coming on an amazing vacation to see you. Why not now? You deserve to be happy Kojiro.” 

____

The day has finally arrived. Kaoru's flight will land in just a few hours and Kojiro is brimming with excitement. It’s late November and it's a little colder than Kojiro is used to this time of year, so he's had to buy himself a few sweaters to stave off the chill. He chooses a sage green one to pick up Kaoru from the airport, and laughs to himself at the idea that he is actually putting this much thought into his outfit, but he wants the confidence boost that comes with knowing he looks good. He checks himself out in the mirror, and takes a few deep breaths before heading out the door. 

Waiting outside the terminal, Kojiro paces back and forth. He is very excited to see Kaoru but after his conversation with Layla he is also very nervous. Is now really the right time to confess? He still hasn't made up his mind.

Then he sees him, beautiful pink ponytail setting him apart from the crowd. Kojiro is stunned, it feels like he is seeing the sun in spring after a long winter. He takes a deep breath, his heart hammering in his chest, and calls out, “Kaoru!” 

Kaoru’s head snaps in his direction and he beams. How long has it been since Kojiro has seen that genuine smile from Kaoru? Sure he’s smiled on their video calls, but this smile, the one that leaves Kojiro weak in the knees and breathless, is a rare sight. Both of them walk as quickly as they can toward the other and Kojiro throws his arms around Kaoru bringing him in tight. Kaoru squeezes Kojiro’s waist and they stand there for a moment without saying anything. That’s when Kojiro sees it, looking at his hands clasped behind Kaoru’s back he notices frayed yellow fabric sticking out from under the sleeve of his sweater. His eyes go wide in panic and he quickly yanks the end of his sleeve down, holding it in place with his fingers. 

He steps back from Kaoru with a soft smile, “Hi Pinkie.” 

“Hello, look at you, you’ve gotten…large” Kaoru says looking him up and down.

“Oh yeah…I’ve been working out like everyday.” Kojiro replies sheepishly. “What about you, where’s your lip ring?” 

“Ah that, I had to take it out to look professional for my apprenticeship. Time to grow up I suppose.” 

Kojiro hums in response, “Let’s go catch a cab, I’m sure you're tired from the trip.” 

As they make their way through the airport, Kojiro discreetly slips Kaoru’s hair tie from his wrist and slips it into the pocket of his jeans. 

When they arrive at Kojiro’s apartment Kaoru is practically sleepwalking, Kojiro helps him settle in for a nap and sits out in the living room still full of nervous energy. After checking his phone half a dozen times and flipping through the 5 channels he gets from his tv antenna, he decides to cook dinner for Kaoru. Digging through his fridge he locates some pecorino romano and pancetta and thinks back to when Kaoru told him about the awful carbonara he had the same day he said he was coming to visit. What a perfect opportunity to show Kaoru what he’s learned, he wants so much for Kaoru to be proud of him. He starts off chopping the pancetta and setting some water to boil, relaxing into the familiarity of cooking in his tiny kitchen. Just as he is stirring the sauce into the hot spaghetti, Kaoru shuffles out of his bedroom, stretching and yawning. 

“Smells good,” he mumbles, squinting over at the bowl full of pasta. 

“I thought you might like to try some real carbonara.” 

“Oh, as I recall yours is perfect . Are you sure you’re ready for me to put that to the test?” 

“Don’t worry, I’m sure it will be up to your standards, princess.” mocks Kojiro. 

He plates up the pasta, piling it high and topping it with parmesan. They sit down at Kojiro’s comically small dinette set up against the wall of his living room. Their knees brush when Kaoru slides into his chair and Kojiro tenses for a moment, unmoving wondering what Kaoru will do next. To Kojiro’s surprise, Kaoru settles in and takes a drink from the water glass in front of him without moving his knees away from where they touch Kojiro’s. They catch up over the pasta, each telling stories they’ve missed sharing between texts and calls. Kojiro is pretty sure this is the most tense he has ever been eating a plate of pasta, but he feels almost euphoric having Kaoru there with him, picking up their banter and bickering right where they left off. 

“Well Mr. Sakurayashiki, how’s my carbonara?” Kojiro asks after Kaoru has practically licked his plate clean. 

Kaoru gives him a thoughtful look, “Hmmm, not bad for a dish made by a gorilla, I suppose.”

“A GORILLA?!” 

“Yes, look at you. You barely fit at this tiny table, it's almost obnoxious.”

“You’re the obnoxious one here, computer freak!”

____

The next day Kojiro wakes up with the sunrise with a feeling of warm contentment in his chest. He turns his face to see the top of Kaoru’s head barely poking out from his blanket cocoon. Kojiro didn’t usually sleep with anything up his top sheet, so when Kaoru curled up into bed the night before taking the entire blanket to wrap around his body, he was perfectly content to sleep without it. It wasn’t the first time they had shared a bed, but they were both considerably taller and bigger since the last time, causing their bodies to be much closer than before, and Kojiro’s body flushed so warm he wouldn’t have needed the blanket anyway.

Peeling himself carefully out of the bed, he shuffled around his room to get ready for a morning run. He realized he was out of clean sweats and rummaged through his laundry hamper for the cleanest pair he could find. He haphazardly gathered the dirty clothes he had scattered and tossed them back into the basket. Then, once he had his shoes on he leaned over Kaoru’s sleeping form. 

“Hey, hey sleepy-head…I’m going for a run, be back soon.” he whispers. 

“Yeah shhhhh, okay is fine,” grumbles Kaoru. 

The sun is coming up over the horizon when Kojiro hits the pavement, cold, crisp air filling his lungs and waking his body. He runs past the familiar homes and shops, planning the route he will take Kaoru walking to go get breakfast. He plays their itinerary for the day through his head, imagining Kaoru’s reactions to the sights. A bittersweet feeling swells in his heart, both happiness and longing. His chest is so full he feels like his emotions are going to spill out at any moment, so he keeps running. 

When he finally arrives back to his building, the sun is up and the day has started in his neighborhood. The street is bustling with activity. He checks his watch and guesses Kaoru is still asleep, he always has been a late riser. So when he walks into his apartment and sees Kaoru sitting at the dinette with a cup of coffee, he jumps and just manages to catch a yelp in his throat. 

“Good morning, nice of you to turn up.” Kaoru smirks. 

“Heh, good morning, sorry I thought you would sleep in.” says Kojiro, sheepishly. 

“The time difference, it’s like 4 in the afternoon in Okinawa, dimwit.”

“No need to get pissy princess, I’ll take a shower and then we can go get breakfast.” 

Kojiro rushes through his shower and morning hygiene, wanting to start their day as soon as possible. When he opens his closet, he realizes he only has shorts left to choose from. He really should have done laundry before Kaoru’s visit, but he returns to his hamper and decides on the same jeans he wore the day before.

He gets them on, sticks his hands in the pockets to flatten them down, and suddenly a streak of panic runs through him. The pockets are empty. One pocket should be holding the hair tie, but the pockets are empty. He spins around and scans the floor for a spot of yellow, then he lays down and checks under the bed, but the hair tie is nowhere to be seen. That's when he hears Kaoru clear his throat from the other room. Still panicking, he does another quick scan of the floor which still is as empty as the first time he looked. He decides the hair tie must be in his dirty laundry, it has to be he tells himself as he yanks on a sweater and smooths out his hair. 

Putting back on a cool air, he strolls out into the living room and plops down in the chair opposite Kaoru. 

“Ready to get some breakfast?” 

“Nearly,” replies Kaoru. He looks nervous and Kojiro furrows his brow in confusion. 

Kaoru lets out a quick huff and then says, “first I have a question for you.” 

He pulls a hair tie off his wrist and holds it up inches from Kojiro’s face. 

“What is this?” 

Kojiro’s heart jumps into his throat, it's the hair tie.

He coughs a little to clear his throat, “it's your hair tie,” he croaks out. 

“I know that, Kojiro. What was it doing on the floor of your apartment in Italy?”

“You must have dropped it yesterday.” 

“No, I know I didn't drop this. First of all, the one in my hair is the same one I was wearing yesterday. Secondly, I would never wear one in this state, it has frayed edges and it would tangle in my hair, plus it’s kind of dirty. So what is this, Kojiro?” 

Kojiro’s thoughts race around his head. He could do it, he could make this the moment he finally tells Kaoru how he feels. But what if Kaoru rejects him? It could ruin the entire visit and their friendship, possibly beyond repair. Kojiro forces himself to look up from the hair tie into Kaoru’s eyes. The expression he sees in them is the same one Kaoru wore when he told him he was inspired by Kojiro and that look gives him enough courage to find his voice. 

“I accidently took it with me…the night before I left. I put it in my pocket without thinking and found it again when I was in the airport.” Once the words start flowing, he finds it hard to stop himself. 

“I put it on my wrist that day and I never took it off. Yesterday was the first day since I have been here that I didn’t wear it. See, I even have a tan line on my wrist from it, that's why it's all frayed and dirty.” He can hear his heart pounding in his ears and he gives Kaoru a pleading look. 

“You wore it every day, I don’t understand. Why, why would you do that Kojiro?” 

Kaoru leans forward, brow furrowed, squinting at Kojiro and searching his face as if the answer will be written on it. 

Kojiro leans in too and takes Kaoru’s hand, still outstretched holding the hair tie, into his. 

“I love you, Kaoru, I have for a long time.” 

“You love me?” Kaoru whispers. 

He sits there for a moment with a stunned look on his face. Kojiro feels his cheeks burning as the moment stretches into an eternity between them. Then time seems to jump into overdrive and suddenly Kaoru’s lips are on his. Kojiro is sure his heart stops for a moment and then he presses forward, deepening the kiss. After a long moment they break for a breath, foreheads touching over the tiny table staring into each other's eyes.

Finally, Kaoru breaths out, “I love you too, I have for a long time.”