Work Text:
Love never mattered to Sayo. It never bothered her, and it never interested her either.
Being called weird by her peers for it wasn’t something that could ever pressure her and no person could ever sway her.
It just didn’t matter.
But after Roselia was formed— after she was shown a different approach and perspective for her life and after her conflict with Hina was solved… something happened. Something changed. She began thinking about the one person who pushed and helped her through it all.
And she couldn’t get her out of her head.
She couldn’t stop thinking about her. Her smile. Her laugh. Her sweet comments and playful teases. Her pretty hair and shiny dark green eyes and red lipstick and pink earrings and accessories and—
She was sure she was going insane at this point. She never intended for this to turn out this way… and yet her heart was beating so fast every time she complimented her. Every time she smiled her way. Every time their shoulders accidentally touched during practice or their days off, or even when they were alone baking goods.
She wasn’t sure what it was. It couldn’t be love. She didn’t feel this way with anyone else in her life, there was no reason for this situation to be different. She was just one of the only people who still kept pushing to make her smile. To make her laugh and have some fun. To live her life in a different way than the strict, stern and stubborn way Sayo knew how to.
I’m sure it’s normal to feel fluttered around other people, especially when they shower you with so much attention and appreciation. And does nobody think about how others look and their beauty? It has to be just a common thing. I’m not the only one.
“G...C...G...D...G...C...Em...A7……”
Sayo mumbled to herself, strumming the chords on her guitar as the band took a short break after a 2 hour long session. Roselia had a concert approaching, after all.
“Oh? What’re we playing? I think I’ve heard that intro before—” Said a voice behind Sayo, immediately startling her as the speaker poked her head by her shoulder.
“I-I-It’s— ...I-Imai-san, you shouldn’t come behind other people’s backs and scare them like that...”
Her heart was already beating fast.
“Payback for when you used to do that all the time before!!” Lisa giggled, now skipping in front of Sayo instead.
“The rest went out to get some food. Said they’ll bring you some fries too~ but you were totally too focused on your guitar that we just didn’t want to bother you…”
“...I’m sorry.”
“Did anything happen? You can always talk to me about anything, you know. You helped me through a lot and gave me the push to find my own path and… if there’s anything I can do to help you and repay you for everything you’ve done…” Lisa slowly trailed off, now sitting on a stool by Sayo’s.
“I assure you, nothing is wrong.”
And yet Lisa didn’t look convinced in the slightest. In fact, it only seemed to make her more suspicious of Sayo.
I can’t talk about it… not with you… not when you’re the one I can’t get out of my mind.
“Sayoooo~” Lisa scooted her stool closer to Sayo, a sly grin spread across her lips. “You’re hiding something, aren’t you!”
“I-I’m not!” Sayo recoiled, her shoulders jolting up in panic. She felt her chest tighten. Her heart beat so fast she was surprised she hasn’t fainted yet and worst of all, she felt her face blazing hot.
She was blushing.
“You’re super bad at lying.” Lisa signed, moving away from Sayo. “I won’t force you to speak, but…” Her smile turned softer, making Sayo’s heart only beat faster. “I‘m here for you, no matter what the issue is. We do have our baking sessions to discuss anything you want, you know~”
Sayo forced her shoulders down, gripping onto her guitar to hopefully mask her trembling. Her smile was a little more natural and relaxed this time as she nodded slightly at Lisa.
“Yes, thank you, Imai-san. I appreciate your generosity.” She said, finally managing to mostly calm her racing heart.
“Oh, don’t be like that~ you know I’d do anything for you in this regard.”
Sayo didn’t know how to keep up that conversation. She felt so awkward and embarrassed and she wasn’t even sure why . Her shoulders wouldn’t relax, her heart’s racing again and worst of all, they’re all alone in this room.
I-I should just focus on my guitar. It’ll be fine. Just be normal. You do it everyday, there’s no reason to not do the same around her.
She began strumming the melody for BRAVE JEWEL , hoping this at least would drag her mind away from thinking about the bassist beside her.
Her ears perked as she heard an additional instrument supporting her guitar. She abruptly stopped, looking up at Lisa with widened eyes.
“...What?” She looked up back at Sayo, holding her bass guitar in her hands, her right already ready to press the next chord. She grinned as Sayo blinked a few times, seemingly still shocked. “Can’t support the guitarist with a bit of a boost?”
“...I-It’s not… that—”
“Hm?”
“...Nothing. You can continue.” Sayo quickly looked back down at her guitar.
It doesn’t help me if I still think about you when I play my guitar…
But just as she thought she was about to implode from her racing heart and already hurting head, the rest of the group came to save her.
Crisis avoided.
This isn’t a normal feeling.
Sayo sat down in her room, hand on her chest as she felt her calm heartbeat.
I don’t know what it is. I don’t know how to express it… but I need to confront it. Otherwise it’ll come in the way of practice.
She sat back against the chair, looking up at the white ceiling above her.
The practice last week… She went back to her strange feeling at the practice session they had a week ago. The practice session she and Lisa played together at for a moment. The practice session she grinned Sayo’s way, just as always, but slightly different in Sayo’s mind.
Why did I feel that? Why did my heart react like this? What’s… special about Imai-san’s smile? Or rather… her in general? Why do I feel this way… when I think about her? Sayo sighed, lying her head down on her desk gently.
Imai-san… she’s… elegant. She’s gentle and selfless… she always cares for everyone, but can’t ever think about herself. She probably knows my feelings better than I do and yet nothing about her own in the slightest. Even if she does think about herself in any situation, it’s most likely for someone else’s sake, never her own. If not her attitude and devotion to Roselia… we would have probably broken up a long time ago. She’s our glue—
As she delved deeper into her thoughts, Sayo switched to lying on her bed instead.
But… why am I thinking about her so often lately? Of course, she is a friend of mine. Friends think about each other sometimes but… what has she done that made my mind… so confusing and weird? Well… if I think about it for a bit more… there’s… her cheeky smile, the slight blush she always has on her when she’s happy and talking about the things she likes… her... lips…
Just as she thought of Lisa’s lips, her heart once again began racing at the mental image of Lisa’s cheeky, carefree grin she always makes.
It drove her crazy. Did Lisa do anything special? Sayo wasn’t sure. All she knew was that she had to find out what it actually meant.
She had to invite Lisa to hang out.
If I just hang out around her for a bit, surely I’ll figure out what’s causing this… mess… in my mind. There has to be a reasonable explanation for this.
“It’s very rare of you to invite me out, Sayo~☆”
“...I just invited you for an afternoon walk.” Sayo averted her gaze, scooping a tiny spoon of her chocolate mint ice cream.
“And yet here we are, sitting in the park and eating ice cream.” Lisa chuckled, taking a bite of her own strawberry one. When Sayo turned to look her way, her grin only widened as she chuckled more.
“Come on, we can have a bit more fun than just going for a walk!”
“I suppose so.” Sayo once again looked away. Lisa’s smile was so bright. Too bright for Sayo to look directly at.
How are you having so much fun from simply sitting at the park together…
But she went quiet. She didn’t say anything else, instead looking up at the sky as she ate her ice cream.
Albeit rather awkward, it gave Sayo the time to take a peek at Lisa.
They just went for a simple afternoon walk… and yet she still wore makeup. Or at least Sayo recognized the blush. Her lipstick was also a slightly lighter shade of red this time— pinkish, yet not pink enough to call it pink.
W…Why am I even…
She shook herself, snapping a bit of sense into herself as she finally looked away from Lisa’s lips.
Yes, of course she’s pretty… it’s not like I’m the only one who thinks this. She just is. And…
“So,” Lisa began, her eyes still fixed on the clouds and sky above. “I think it’s getting a bit late… wanna head back?”
Sayo blinked for a moment.
Noticing the lack of reply, Lisa turned to look at Sayo instead. Her smile was gentle and calm. She was completely different from how she was just a moment ago. The way the afternoon hues reflected in her eyes, the way her hair glimmered in the sunkissed buildings behind her and glowed ever so elegantly, the way the sun sparkled behind her as it began setting down in the horizon, highlighting her smile and caring eyes… Sayo felt strangely mesmerized. She felt something flick in her brain— a flick she had never even known existed before. A flick she barely understood to begin with, if not even feared to approach it in the first place.
Everything about Lisa was just glowing in Sayo’s eyes. She was like a sun beside her— a glow brighter than any Sayo has seen before.
And all it took was a gentle smile. A single muscle motion that isn’t even special or essential for anything. A simple, yet such an effective gesture Sayo never even thought could sway her this hard.
She began realizing something. She wasn’t sure whether she was terrified or intrigued, or even just shocked—
Am I in love?
She shook herself mentally.
N-No… no, that’s not it…
“If that’s what you want.”
Lisa tilted her head slightly, her brow raising slightly. “Took you a bit to reply. Is everything okay?”
“I think we should go out more often.”
Eyes slightly widened, Lisa only stared at Sayo.
Realizing what she had just said and how completely unrelated it was, Sayo’s cheeks began to glow red as she quickly looked away.
“I-I mean, I just really enjoyed walking with you and… w-would like to do that again sometime. My apologies for the previous statement—”
Before she could even finish her poor excuse for not thinking about her words before speaking, Lisa let out a soft giggle, prompting Sayo’s shoulders to jerk up in panic again.
“D-Did I say something wrong…?”
“No, that’s not it, Sayo.” Lisa took a deep breath after her short laughter. “It’s just—” She looked back up at Sayo, her smile widening. “It’s very unusual of you to not think before you say something! It caught me off guard~”
“M...My ap—”
“Don’t apologize! You didn’t do anything wrong. The opposite, actually, I’m very happy you want to hang out more!”
“...R...Right.”
I can’t just come to such an outlandish conclusion so fast. There has to be something else.
...She thought, but at the end of the day…
What even is love?
That same day, she paced back and forth in her room. Already dressed in nightly clothes, everything prepared for tomorrow, and even after practicing a bit of guitar, Sayo was still restless. She couldn’t stop thinking about this. She couldn’t get it out of her head.
She couldn’t get Lisa out of her head.
What’s the definition of love? …Well according to the… top definition it’s… an intense feeling of deep affection for another person. Which… She looked down, a hand pressed against her chest as she felt her already quickening heartbeat at the thought of Roselia’s bassist. ...It seems… m...maybe, maybe I might have… but I’m definitely rushing everything. Maybe it’s nothing and I’m just very tired lately. It has been pretty rough with a lot of practices and concerts lately, so maybe…
She shook her head aggressively for a moment.
You’re making no sense! Listen to yourself! Are you really going to Google to search what love means?! Get a grip!! ...ugh, just how much longer will it take until this gets out of my head… just how much longer will it take to cure this thing?! I can’t… ignore it if it’s…
She groaned, collapsing back on her bed and muffling a silent scream into her pillow.
I don’t know anything about love… I don’t know how to approach it… even if I at some point— in any hypothetical scenario that is unlikely to happen— want to express or… face it… I don’t even know where to begin… and there is no way I can ever ask anyone about this… I have to figure out stuff on my own.
She looked up from her pillow, her eyes suddenly widened as an idea popped into her mind.
Our baking sessions! They… well, I can figure out stuff better when I don’t have any distractions around me… y-yes, yes. Surely this—
Her train of thoughts abruptly ended as she realized how fast her mind was spiraling. She wasn’t even making sense anymore.
“What is wrong with me… since when have I… become so desperate…?”
...I said I won’t… and yet here I am two days later… waiting for Imai-san to come over to my place for a baking session…
Sayo sighed, (im)patiently waiting for Lisa to arrive as she sat down on the couch in the living room. She turned her phone on, frowning slightly at her screen. 17:29PM…
Usually, it would’ve been once a week, given their busy schedule and overall need for a break for themselves… but Sayo just couldn’t wait. She couldn’t get this or Lisa out of her mind. She could barely function when she bottled this entire issue inside.
She was really happy that I initiated it again… I hope she doesn’t get intrigued as to why I asked to meet this soon… e…especially after my slipup a few days ago… of course ‘going out’ can mean several things. It can mean absolutely platonic outings as friends. …So then… why am I stressing about her misunderstanding it as romantic? Why would she? …It’s—
The doorbell rang. Quicker than she even managed to think , her body flinched up, leaving her with the adrenaline as she opened the door to greet her guest.
“Phew! Just in time! 17:30PM exactly!” Lisa triumphed, pumping a fist into the air as she panted aggressively and held onto her hip with her free hand.
Sayo’s eyes widened with a quick realization, her eyebrows shooting up. “Did you run your way here…?”
“J-Just the last few bits!” Lisa breathed out, groaning as she rubbed her side to soothe it from her erratic breathing. “Oh man… been a while since I ran that fast~”
Sayo sighed, a soft, very small smile on her lips. “You know you didn’t need to come at exactly the time we agreed on.”
“You’d be cranky if I wouldn’t, I know you!” Lisa finally stood up straight, arms crossed across her chest as she flashed a teasing smile at the latter. Her breathing seemed to also finally calm down.
“I-I… I would not.” Sayo crossed her own arms. “That would be rude.”
“I was kiiiiiiiidding~” The brunette laughed, inviting herself into the apartment as Sayo moved away to let her in. “So~” She stood by Sayo after taking her heels off. Shining yet another beautiful smile at her, she tilted her head slightly. “You didn’t exactly explain much in text. Is there a reason we’re doing this so soon?”
“...Well, I wanted to bake some cookies for Roselia and didn’t trust myself to do it on my own, especially since my parents return home very late and Hina’s with her band… so I… yeah.”
It was a poor excuse. It wasn’t exactly a lie, she did want to bake cookies for Roselia again, but this was obviously not her main reason for inviting Lisa here. Even she herself was aware of that much. However, Lisa didn’t seem to notice Sayo’s now growing guilt for not telling the entire truth.
“Awww… That’s so sweet of you~” Lisa murmured, bumping Sayo’s shoulder with her own as she giggled along the way to the kitchen, giving Sayo a smug smile as her eyes shut with her laughter.
Sayo’s heart— Shut up! Calm down!! She yelled at herself in her mind, taking a moment to stop breathing to return her calm.
“I…I simply care for Roselia.”
“And the best cookies are the ones made with love behind them!”
Love, you say…
“So, same recipe we use?”
“No reason not to.”
“Gotcha!” Lisa gave Sayo a thumbs up, gathering together with her the ingredients they would need for the usual checkerboard cookies they would make for Roselia. The recipe for them became almost entirely automatic in Sayo’s brain at this point. They’ve done this together so many times it simply began to feel natural.
And Sayo enjoyed every part of it.
From Lisa’s instruction for the parts Sayo wasn’t that good at remembering, to the nice comments when she did it perfectly, to kneading the dough together and making the checkboarded pattern to give it the effect with the egg wash to Lisa’s soft, tender humming and her melodious voice to just… sitting in the living room waiting for the cookies to be done. It felt like she was in an entirely different universe, all alone with Lisa right beside her.
It felt blissful.
“Man! That sure was fun♪” Lisa flopped down on the couch, letting out a loud, overdramatic sigh of relief as she finally had the moment to rest. “Baking cookies with you will never get boring, will it~” She grinned up at Sayo as the guitarist sat down beside her.
“...And what do you mean by that…?”
“You’re always fun to bake with, silly♪” Lisa explained, giving her her usual carefree, wide smile that Sayo hasn’t been able to get out of her mind as of lately. “And you’ve become really good at this, you know! Honestly you would’ve been fine even if I wasn’t here.”
No, that made Sayo feel awful. Not only was the baking not entirely the reason Lisa was invited and she lied to her about it, but now it’s even more clear that Sayo didn’t exactly need the help anyways. Her guilt was starting to weigh her down.
“H-Hey,” Lisa turned to Sayo, her smile apologetic and eyes full of worry. “I didn’t mean that in a bad way! I love baking with you, I’m just really surprised and proud of you for becoming this good!” She hurriedly tried to clear what she thought was a misunderstanding, seeing how Sayo’s expression sharply changed after she mentioned how good Sayo has become.
“...Imai-san.” Sayo took a deep breath. She had to tell her the truth. She had to come clean about this entire situation. She couldn’t take it anymore. “There’s… actually a second reason… I invited you here.”
“...What?” Lisa froze in place, her shoulders still tense from the short panic and initial surprise. She didn’t look disappointed or upset, she just looked intrigued. She looked curious about what Sayo had to say next.
And honestly, Sayo wasn’t even sure what to say. She wasn’t sure why she felt like she had to do this, given she still had no idea how and what she feels.
But she knew the word love had something to do with it. She knew, even if she didn’t fully understand, that Lisa made her feel different than any other person around her.
Maybe I’m in love.
“...I. Well— Y...You see, um… I…”
Just say it! Admit it already!!
“I-I...m...might… I—”
She took another deep breath.
“I might have…” She looked away, covering her mouth with her hand to hide her embarrassment and already red face. “...F...F-Fallen……” She forced herself to look back into Lisa’s eyes. At least glance back at her as her entire body begged her to just run away and never look Lisa in the eye ever again.
“...In…….love. With you.”
Silence followed. Sayo’s eyes drifted away from Lisa. She couldn’t look at her. She couldn’t face her. Not after confessing to such a thing. Not after… admitting she’s in love.
She didn’t even think about this. Is this mutual? Surely Lisa had better standards than her. Surely the strict, cold student council member that only cares about her guitar wasn’t her type. Surely…
She suddenly felt a hand on her shoulder. Before she could even react, she was pulled slightly down as something soft pressed against her cheek.
It took her an entire minute to process what happened. Hell, it took her another one to even remotely react.
She looked at Lisa, a shaky hand reaching to feel her own cheek.
Silence continued to fill the room, the pair staring into each other’s eyes now. Sayo couldn’t hear her heart anymore. She couldn’t function. She could barely breathe, even.
Lisa’s smile was soft. Actually, it was the wrong description.
It was loving. It was just full of so many wordless emotions.
Her eyes… the amount of joy and excitement and love they shined with. The spark they held as she looked into Sayo’s own eyes.
Sayo felt like she could faint any moment. She felt like any second now she would blink and wake up. This was just a dream. Yeah. This wasn’t real. She didn’t confess to Lisa. She isn’t in love…
Right?
“Do… do you still need an answer?”
Lisa’s soft voice pulled her right back into reality. It even scared her for a moment, making her flinch slightly in surprise.
“......H...Huh?”
Just like her voice, her giggle came soft. It was like it was caressing Sayo’s ear, gently echoing through her mind as she attempted to process the last few minutes.
“And here I thought and worried I’d have to find a way to somehow confess to you myself…” Lisa looked away, rubbing her nape as a soft blush spread across her cheeks.
“I…” She began, her eyes slowly drifting back to Sayo. “I think… me too, Sayo.”
“...Huh?” Sayo said in a tone she never knew she even had. It came out more as a squeak than a voice. Now it was even harder for her to process what’s going on. Her brain was so full of everything, so full of every single possible question ever. She couldn’t even think, to be honest.
“I might… be in love with you… too.” Lisa finally confirmed, her eyes once again drifting away from Sayo and her blush intensifying. “...Th-There, I… I said it, I—”
“Do you… mean that…?” Just as before, Sayo’s voice was just barely audible. She was practically whispering her words.
“Would… I kiss your cheek if I didn’t?”
And it finally registered in her brain.
“...You… kissed my cheek?”
At least Lisa laughed.
“Sayo…” She sighed, shaking her head. She took hold of Sayo’s hands, her smile as wide as her face could manage. “I love you too.”
Sayo finally felt her heart… and it wasn’t calm. She looked down at herself.
She was trembling.
“It’s… a scary feeling, I know…” Lisa once again looked away for a moment, her smile turning a bit bittersweet. “Believe me… I know. B-But together, I… I think that maybe we can overcome it… you know?”
She didn’t. Of course she was scared. She didn’t even know what love really was. She has never felt this before. …But together … Sayo felt she was finally getting a grip of herself. Or at least starting to. She had so many questions… so many worries and concerns… but right now… the world stopped for but a moment in her favor.
“Imai-san…” She took one last deep breath. She was ready. Afraid and a bit confused, but Lisa was the person she trusted the most with her emotions. She helped her the most when she was in need. She was there when she needed it most.
It all finally made sense to Sayo.
“Let’s. Together.” She murmured, leaning closer to Lisa as she finally let her mind rest.
I’m in love.