Chapter Text
Emily had been attending to school until that summer. With the sun and its warmth came an even brighter being into her life. It was a warm afternoon when Harriet and her sisters Susan and Martha came to the Dickinson's. When Emily opened the door and looked to the girl who was standing by Harriet's left side, her pulse accelerated with no apparent reason. The girl had auburn hair, tied in a low bun, a delicate round face with two eyes of the same colour and sweetness of the honey, that stood out on that pale and smooth skin.
"Emily this is my sister Susan, you might remember her from that year you studied together at Amherst Academy. Sue, Emily has studied at mount Holyoke Female seminary and she's learnt a lot about plants, literature and. .." Emily stopped paying attention. Of course she remembered that girl. Whenever she saw her at school, she couldn't get her eyes from her. She had never known why, maybe it was because of her beautiful dresses, so simple but so colorful, that always seemed to bring the spring inside the class. Or maybe it was because of that beautiful pale face, with a taint of pink in her cheeks, that reminded of primroses breaking into the snow. She couldn't say what was that magnetic force, but she had guessed it was just some jealousy for her beauty, just some admiration for her aura ... But now, that force came again, with more strength and she got even more nervous than she used to while ago.
"Hello Emily!" Sue extended her hand. Emily hadn't been listening and when she saw Susan's invitation to reach to her, she anxiously corresponded grabbing her hand and introducing herself cause she didn't know if Harriet had done it
"Oh, yes hello, I'm really pleased too."
Susan chuckled and although Emily couldn't understand why, she couldn't help smiling and blushing.
"Emily who are you talking to?" Mrs Dickinson came to the door and when she saw the three sisters, she invited them in. "Excuse my daughter, I don't understand why she had you waiting out there." Emily blushed and when Susan looked at her to give her a smile, she felt her pulse rushing and her cheeks so hot that she had to look away and distance a bit from that girl that seemed to have put her whole world upside down in just a few minutes. Mrs Dickinson called the rest of the members of the family to the living room. All the introductions were done and Austin started to act as he always did with young girls: he started to ask questions to show interest and when they weren't talking, he gave her looks and smiles. Emily was always amused to see that stupid and futile behaviour on his brother, but this time it was getting a bit annoying. He was catching all the attention when the point of the visit was making a bond between the two girls. Luckily, their conversation served Emily to get to know Susan. She was born in Deerfield but had to move to Geneva in New York with her aunt Sophia when her parents died. There she had studied science at Utica Female Academy.
"Hmm...the most scientific thing I've done is my herbarium"said Emily
"Oh, can I see it?" asked Susan.
"Of course" replied Emily, glad to have caught the girl's attention again" It's in my conservatory."
"You have a conservatory?!"asked Susan, clearly excited. "Can I see it too? "
"Of course, come!" and she victoriously grabbed Susan's hand and excused the both of them. Emily opened the door and let Susan wander while she looked for her herbarium. Susan was astonished.
"This is beautiful"
"I really like flowers, growing them is like writing poetry with nature."
"Beautiful flowers of a pretty girl" she smiled at Emily.
The poet got nervous: "you think I'm pretty?"
"Yes, I bet there are a lot of boys interested in you."
"Well, there's this boy called George, we could say he's courting me."
"Oh, you have to introduce me to him!"
"Sure! And what about you, is there any special one in your life?"
"No" she lowered her sight. "I guess that's what happens when you don't belong anywhere."
Emily grabbed Sue's hands and looked at her with a fond smile.
"You could belong here if you'd like that. People in this town are very hospitable and we would be happy to accept you as part of the family."
A bright of sincere happiness shone in Sue's eyes. Being part of a family that was as she had always longed, with two commited parents and three charming siblings... It just sounded like a dream.
"Oh, that's so kind" she said, truly meaning her gratitude.
"Oh and you will love the other girls in town, we have so much fun together." They were holding hands and Emily felt a pleasurable warmth that invaded all her body.
_____
The girls had met for a walk in town: Abby, Mattie, Emily and Susan gathered in the square. They looked some storefronts and ended up by the river, all sitting together as always. The girls started making questions to Susan and soon, many things in common came out. They were laughing and really having a good time, when George and Austin appeared.
"What are you two doing here?" asked Emily, a bit annoyed. That was supposed to be a girls afternoon.
"We came to give you something" answered Austin and George and him brought out a bucket of flowers each one. George gave his to Emily, who was getting so embarrassed. But her blush turned into one of anger when she saw that Austin was giving his to Susan. The other girl seemed to be amused and was smirking at Emily. George approached Emily and whispered "See you at 8pm on your porch". And Sue nudged her. Emily was paralyzed and it was Sue who finally waved goodbye to the boys.
"Thank you boys, bye"she gently pushed them away. Their friends started whispering and smirking at both girls. Susan played along, but Emily got into her thoughts, feeling guilty and disgusting for getting so jealous of Austin... Sure her brother was just so ridiculous every time he tried to court a girl, but she didn't understand why her anger wasn't because of shame for him, but because of how Susan seemed to be responding. Oh Susie, she had become such a pretty young lady and even her black clothes for the mourning of her sister Mary made her look beautiful, enhancing her bright skin. Why couldn't she stop looking at her? Why did she got so nervous when they were together? Was she developing the same affection and dependence she had felt for Abiah, who had married and was losing contact with her? Why did she always had to ruin everything?
_____
That was the night. She knew it. That was the night that George was going to propose to her and so was going to be the night when her whole life would change. At 8 o'clock, the door bell rang. Emily descended the stairs, feeling butterflies in her belly . Her heart was rushing wild in her chest when she grabbed the door knob. She opened the door to the darkness, where George was standing with a bunch of wildflowers. "
Hello Emily" he noticed that the girl was looking at the flowers and said "I brought you these because I know that you like to grow peculiar flowers and these seemed pretty odd to me." Emily instantly knew that they were just some plain Euphorbias and geraniums, but the guy was trying to make his best.
"Thank you George, that's very thoughtful of you." George gave her the flowers and held Emily's free hand. Suddenly, Emily felt weird: it was a bigger and rougher hand to what she was used to: her friend's hands were so delicate, smooth and inviting... and then she thought of Sue's hand and unconsciously smiled. George smiled too.
"Emily, all the flowers in your garden must be so jealous of you because none of them can reach your beauty. You're the prettiest one in this town and I am so honoured to be your chosen one. I want to learn all the flowers with you, to read all the poets, to give you all you need.." She was getting so anxious to hear the words: her own fairy tale was going to become true. Her dear George, that sweet boy who had been so gentle, so comprehensive and with whom she had enjoyed so much exchanging some literature. They were going to have a so very happy marriage.
He went on: "What I mean is that I am so happy with what we have built together and I'm starting to grow a big fondness for you, so the best way to let our love bloom is this" he kneeled and took Emily's hand "Emily Dickinson, will you marry me?"
"Oh George, of course I will!" she answered really excited. Oh dear, what was going to be Susan's reaction when she told her next day? Would she be jealous of her? Or better, would she be jealous of George? . ..wait, what? What had she just thought? Well, nevermind, the point was going to see what face she and all her other friends will make. But when all these thoughts were rushing in her mind, a mouth pressed against hers. It was something that obviously needed to happen, but it caught Emily off guard and so she got a bit annoyed at first, not responding to the kiss. But then, George's lips continued to play the game and when they parted, Emily's did so. They had kissed before, but something hit different today. Emily thought it was just the excitement and the nervousness, but she interrupted the kiss when it was at it highest moment.
"Sorry George, it's just. . I got so nervous I lost all coordination." she chuckled with embarrassment.
"Don't worry Em" and he hugged her.
_____
"You can't marry that boy Emily, he has nothing to give you: his family is poor and he has to do farm work to get some money in the summer. This is not what I want for you."
Emily couldn't even try to fight his father, so she could only resign. She felt devastated: George was nothing like the other boys in town, he was sweet, smart and tender; but those were features that Edward Dickinson couldn't appreciate. When she told Susan that afternoon she hugged her and then all her pain dissoluted. That hug felt nothing like the one George had given her when they waved goodbye last night. Emily hated to admit it, but it felt much better, maybe because it was the warmth that only friends could give.