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Richard DeVere did not believe in love at first sight. He never had and he never would. The entrepreneur was confident and charming, able to delicately manipulate others to achieve his intentions, but when it came to vulnerability and taking risks with love he was reserved, keeping his cards close to his chest and trying to make sure that emotion never got in the way of good sense. In this way he was very similar to his neighbour Audrey fforbes-Hamilton, who he had not fallen in love with at first sight.
At first sight she was a merry widow, strangely celebrating her husband's death and dismissed him as being a caterer. He was surprised she even remembered the meeting five minutes after it happened, other than at their second meeting she had mentioned how inappropriately he was dressed the first time. She piqued his curiosity though with her cobalt blue eyes, statuesque presence and presuming attitude. Her presuming attitude turned out to be mild in comparison with her would-have stranglehold on all matters relating to the Grantleigh Estate and what she obviously felt was her duty to put him in his place where these were concerned. He had tried to take it with easy grace and compassion for someone who had fallen so mightily, but he did admit that her bold, forthright and judgmental mannerisms made him defensive at times and was lost when his attempts to charm her into submission failed. Yet he couldn’t help but admire a strong woman who was not intimidated easily or infatuated with his wealth. Especially a woman who, for all her faults, could be equally charming, quick witted, determined and, on rare occasions, quite sweet.
It was easy for him to make remarks that he knew would get a bite from her and it amused him to see her almost shudder with disgust when he would float an outlandish idea past her just for this purpose. He had done this on their second meeting, stung by her remark about his attire. Maybe it wasn’t kind of him to do so, but he respected Audrey being able to give as good as she got. After all, he had no intention of carrying out half the things he said to her and by exaggerating what he could do, Audrey felt she had a win when it didn’t quite come to fruition, his intended plan all along was far less dramatic. Still, it made for a lot of fun playing with Audrey when she took it all so seriously. If only she would relax and be more open to change he was sure their relationship would be greatly improved. He would admit to himself that he found her very attractive, maybe it was the challenge she presented or the sparkle in her eyes or a mixture of all of the elements of her personality.
And then it had happened. The night of the Summer Hunt Ball. The private dance on her terrace was only brief, but with his arms around her, cheek to cheek, moving as one, it felt so perfect, so right. In fact, it felt dangerous, because it was at that moment, with his eyes closed and their bodies pressed together, his hand on the warm, smooth skin of her back that he knew he was in love with her. He was head over heels in love with this complex and compelling woman. Herein lay the danger, he was a man in control of all aspects of his life, yet he couldn't control his feelings for her, or hers for him. He wanted more from her, he wanted to give her more.
He couldn't believe that he would fall for a woman who would never be open to seeing him as anyone other than a neighbour. Her lot would rather die than be associated with new money, even when they had none. It was a situation he was more than familiar with. It had been the story of his life and just like he had been able to beat them at their own game in business he wondered if he could do the same with Audrey. Would she come around eventually when she truly understood that they both wanted what was best for Grantleigh? Could she be in a situation like him, helpless to his feelings for her?
Unfortunately the night did not end well. Some mild flirtation by them both and his fear of showing her his feelings had him declining her offer of a nightcap and running off for a business call. Audrey sent him across the dilapidated old bridge and he fell into the creek. As a result they were both frosty to one another in subsequent interactions. In reflection, he realised that Audrey was hurt by his rejection but she could not have seen his feelings for her. They came to an impasse which was only resolved after he saw Audrey's jealousy at her suspicions at what he and Marjory had been up to in the woods and he showed her the badger family. They laughed and he felt his heart surge, how he wanted to take her back into his arms and kiss her, but he couldn't. Instead they tried to furtively return to her party, only for all the guests to see them emerging from the woods together, brushing themselves down and looking quite happy. Another round of awkward exchanges ensued as they tried to prove to everyone around them that nothing was going on between them.
Now he lay in bed and thought about how a woman who had been so dismissive of him had stolen his heart and if there was even a remote possibility that they could be more than neighbours and (on good days) friends. He closed his eyes and remembered how she felt in his arms, the look in her eyes when she accused him of being involved with Marjory and how adorable she was when they were watching the badgers, full of wonder and childlike in her delight. It reminded him of the time she taught him to play pooh sticks, how amazed he was that she indulged in childish games so freely. She surprised him often. Just when he thought he knew her, Audrey would show him a new, and totally endearing, part of her personality. He wondered what it would feel like, their bodies pressed against each other in bed and hoped that he would have the chance to find out. He thought that time was on his side, Audrey wasn't going anywhere, he could work on building their relationship, making her see how good for her he would be. A man who would respect her and adore her, unlike what he had heard about her late husband. He would win her over. He never lost.
It turned out that time wasn't on his side. He had made some progress - lunches and going to events together and even a weekend pretending to be married. They had grown closer, she even admitted that she thought of him as a friend, she was willing to go away on a holiday with him. He felt she had deeper feelings, not that she would admit it. The closest she had ever come to this was when she told him that he wasn't allowed to leave Grantleigh, that "We need you here." Not "I need you here." Just like he, she would not let herself be vulnerable, she would keep her true feelings close to her chest. Then she had surprised him by fixing things with her uncle so that he would get the backing he needed to stay. Yes she had told him it was about her uncle not liking ready made bowties and he laughed and accepted this, but he knew. He knew deep down that Audrey had feelings for him that made her act in a way that she had never done before - to save his new money ass from leaving. He would never forget her face when he told her that he was leaving, that he had to sell. Her eyes showed the hurt, she allowed his hand on her leg and even placed her hand on his in a gesture that he still tried to analyze - was is love, was it compassion, was it pity? He wanted to tell her that day how he felt, because by then he knew that he loved her and wanted them to be together, but he was a coward and afraid of rejection and then the moment passed.
...
Audrey had felt sick to her stomach the moment Richard told her he was selling. This time it was not because she had not been able to successfully manipulate the situation to what she wanted, it was the genuine feeling of losing someone she loved. She had felt this way once before, only not about someone, about something - the manor.
Audrey felt confident that Richard harbored the same feelings for her. She had even told Marjory that he was infatuated with her. He was certainly kind and generous to most people in the village, including her, he didn’t cowtow to her and was often prepared to hold firmly to his views and even put her in her place, but his eyes had given her little hints. The way he looked at her, it wasn’t the same way he looked at other ladies, there was a knowing in his eyes like he could see deep into her soul. The way he touched her, the kisses on her cheek, his comfort at physically ushering her where he wanted her with his hands on her body, how he held her when they danced on her terrace. The way he teased her, like a schoolboy in the playground, wanting her attention. And she liked it, she liked him. She loved him. She loved him more than she had loved another person.
She didn't when they first met, she was horrified that this nouveau rich man was taking her ancestral home and feared the changes he would make. Under the guise of concern for the estate and village people she took delight in telling him everything that he was doing wrong. As everyone else fell in love with him she fought falling under his spell, and when she felt herself falling she was quick to retaliate, assert her authority and muddy some waters about this man who was doing so well (not that she would admit it).When did it change, she wondered. Was it the dance on the terrace? No, maybe that was where her lust started, the feeling of being in his strong arms, his cheek on hers, letting him lead her, she knew she could get used to being in those arms. Was it when she thought Podge might be a threat to her relationship with Richard? No, she knew she could have feelings for him then, but it wasn't love yet. The first time she was consciously aware that she was in love with him was when they picnicked together, it had started perfectly, he told her she was really very sweet and her stomach had flipped with delight. Unfortunately, like the dance on the terrace, this also ended with Richard falling into the river, but this time she was there to help him out. He was sheepish at having been discovered out that the picnic set up had been filmed to advertise his salad dressing but Audrey felt karma had been dealt rather swiftly in this case and she could be magnanimous in forgiving him. As he removed his wet clothing, she got a glimpse of his bare chest, and this time her stomach didn't flip, it dropped and she felt breathless. She gave him her picnic blanket to wrap himself in and their eyes stayed connected for the longest time, saying everything that they wouldn't allow their mouths to speak. She knew then that she was in love with this man.
After that her quest to return to the manor was halted. How could she want to be with Richard to be back in the manor? He would never know that she wanted to be there because she wanted to be with him. Wherever he was. Yes she had daydreamed about what they would be like together, they might still fight but the making up would be worth it. The making up would be done with or without an argument. Working together no-one stood a chance against them. He was cunning, commanding and debonair. He knew what he wanted and how to get it. She respected him for this. He was the perfect match for her. And now he would be gone, away from her, for good. Her heart sank. His hand was on her leg and the warmth radiated through. She placed her hand on his, I'm yours Richard, their fingers rubbing against one another. Was it foreplay for what was to come, or was it a friend in need of comfort? Either way, she enjoyed it.
"Well, if there's anything I can do to help, you will ask won't you?" I would do anything for you darling, anything, just ask me.
"Well, yes, Audrey, there, there is something I would like to ask." Would you want me without the manor? Could you love me still?
Yes, whatever it is, yes. Do I still want you without the manor? Yes. Do I love you? Yes. Do we have a future together? Yes!!!! "Yes?" Ask me, the answer is yes!
Then Brabinger entered and Richard ran away, and if her heart had sunk before, now it positively fell through the floor, because she loved this man so much and she didn't want them to be apart. The 200 meter driveway was far enough, let alone London, it was unthinkable.
......
Now he was sitting in his Mayfair penthouse, the invitation to her Welcome Home party in his hand. He read it again. Did she want to crow that she was finally in her rightful place and he wasn’t, is that why she invited him? Could she possibly miss him as much as he missed her? London was so grubby, so false. He longed for the freshness and truth of the countryside and the people there. He longed for Audrey. He would take a talking down to from her if it meant that they would be in the same room. He couldn't believe that this lady who was a thorn in his side for so long was what he missed most about Grantleigh. It was the best possible outcome that Audrey was reinstated in her home, but now he had nothing to offer her. She had the manor and the money. All he had to offer that she didn’t have was himself. He didn't know if that would be enough and he was afraid to find out it wasn't. He told Mother he wasn't going. Mother was not happy and she wouldn’t let it go.
It had been her dream for her son and Audrey to be married and she was bitterly disappointed that they weren’t and that she was back in London. She missed her friends from Grantleigh, she didn’t like her friends here. They are so stupid, she thought to herself. They were perfect for each other. Audrey needed a strong man who would adore her. Bedrich needed a strong woman who would cherish him. She saw how they looked at each other, she felt the chemistry between them. It couldn’t be more obvious to everyone else that they were in love with each other and she was flabbergasted why they couldn’t see it. It was her personal mission to get Bedrich there, if it was the last thing she would do.
And so he had relented and agreed to go to the party. He drew the line at accepting the offer for them to stay overnight, although Mother still packed their bags “Just in case.” and they set off for the long drive. Richard a mixed ball of emotions, excited to see Audrey, dreading to see what he couldn’t have. When she finally made her appearance, almost floating down the grand staircase she took his breath away. She looked expensive. She looked sparkling. She looked radiant. She looked at him and he moved towards her like he was being magnetically drawn. She called his name, “Richard.” and it reminded him even more of how much he missed her.
They moved to the dance floor, cordially polite. He held her in his arms. Not like the intimate dance on her terrace, but still she fit against him perfectly. Her soft curves close to his frame, he wanted to draw her closer still. He felt her breathing against him. She smelled divine. Why did I leave it so long?
Audrey didn’t know if he would come. If he would want to return to his former home. If he would want to see her. If those feelings she thought he had for her were still there. But here he was, as handsome as ever. The sparkle in his eyes wasn’t as bright. He came to her, asked her to dance, held her in his arms. Those safe, strong arms. Against his firm body. She breathed him in. She missed him. Terribly. She missed his outlandish ideas, his smug face, his flirting, his kindness. She whispered to him that they should go for a walk. She wanted to be alone with him, not surrounded by 250 people.
He nodded, he wanted to be alone with her to. He put her stole on her shoulders and offered his arm to her which she accepted with that smile that he would do anything for. They walked along the driveway towards the Old Lodge. So much to say but not the right words. The silence wasn’t comfortable as it usually was. It was filled with unspoken feelings, uncertainty of where they stood, unsure if they should, they could, reveal their feelings finally. He swallowed, as if it would still his pounding heart.
“Audrey -“
“Richard -“
They laughed nervously having spoken at the same time.
“You first.” Audrey said. Say it, Richard say it. Say you love me. Say you want me.
“Ladies first.” He replied with a smile.
“I’m happy you're here. I was afraid you wouldn't come tonight.”
“I nearly didn’t. But you know mother, she was determined to get us together again.” Seeing what I can’t have is almost harder than not seeing you.
“I’m glad she succeeded.” Thank god for Mrs Poo!
“So am I. What’s it like having the run of Grantleigh again, with no interference from the amateur farmer?” Do you miss me as much as I miss you?
They both laughed. Of course I miss you. “Its not quite the same. What were you going to say?” Say it Richard, say it now. Tell me you love me.
He took a breath. It was now or never. He stopped walking and turned her to him, he needed to see her. Those eyes that he dreamed about met his, questioning, expectant.
“I miss you Audrey.” His warm brown eyes sincere and full of love looking into her blue ones, drinking him in. I more than miss you, I don't feel complete without you.
She smiled sweetly, “I miss you too Richard.” Come back darling, come home.
She misses me! She had given him the encouragement he needed. “You see Audrey, I’m in love you. I have been for quite a while, but I know I have nothing to offer you.” Other than myself. Is that enough? Could you want me without the manor?
You're more than enough for me. “I only ever wanted you.” Her voice was husky and full of emotion. She allowed her finger to gently stroke his face, as if making sure he was real, that this wasn’t another dream.
“Even without the manor?” I have nothing to offer you that you don’t already have.
“Especially without the manor. I would never want you wondering if that was why I love you.” And I do love you.
She loves me too. Me. “Audrey.” He said her name so softly as he stepped in to close the gap between them and place his arms around her. Maybe it was a dream she thought, as their lips drew together, delicately, gently, sweetly, spine tinglingly deliciously. Her hands cupped his neck and her fingers brushed against his hair as their kiss deepened. His arms pulled her closer to him so that there was nothing between their bodies, melding them into one.
That one, long, divine kiss was enough for both of them to have the certainty they needed that their feelings were reciprocated. When Audrey drew back her face to look in his eyes she saw everything she needed. The sparkle was back in his eyes, eyes filled with love and desire.
He said her name again. “Audrey.” Be mine forever.
“Yes darling?” He’s mine, I am his. Just ask me darling.
“I want to marry you.” I never want to be apart again.
“Me? The 50 year old farmers widow with plenty of pizazz?” She teased him and he laughed recalling that early conversation. He told her then that he always got what he wanted. He would paint a picture she would want to be in. If only he had known then who he was up against. How she would change him. How he would change her.
“Yes, you. I like your pizazz.” If that was the right the word for everything about her that meant she had captured his heart, his soul, his attention.
“Aren’t I a bit old for you?” Audrey still hadn’t forgiven Mrs Poo for getting her age so wrong.
“Never. You don’t look a day over 60.” She didn’t look a day over 40, she was ageless, she was his perfect match.
“Richard!” They smiled at each other, he leaned in to kiss her again and murmured, “You are the perfect age for me.” You are perfect for me.
She welcomed his kisses, her eyes closed inhaling the faint scent of his aftershave, of him. He cupped his hands around her face, his thumbs brushing against her cheeks.
“Marry me, Audrey darling. I don’t want to live without you. If you want me to give up Cavendish I will. You paint the picture. I will jump in it.” I will do anything for you.
She smiled. Finally! “I love the picture just as it is.” She leaned in to kiss him again. I wouldn’t change a thing about you darling.
She loves me. His hands moved over her body now, feeling her soft, womanly curves. Hoping that it wasn’t a dream. Their foreheads stayed touching. “So that’s a yes? You’ll marry me?” Say yes, don't leave me hanging.
“It’s a yes. Yes, I will marry you Richard DeVere.” Anywhere, any time. I am yours for life.
“I love you Audrey fforbes-Hamilton.” I will never let you down, I will be everything you want, everything you need and more.
“I love you too, darling.” Like I have never loved another, like I will never love another. You are my everything and I will be yours.
It may not have been love at first sight, they had seen the worst of each other, the best was still to come. Nonetheless, it was a deep, eternal love built on a strong foundation of them knowing themselves and the other. It was a love so strong it would withstand the test not only of time but of tempers, stubbornness and challenges. A love so passionate that it wouldn’t matter if they were the only 2 people left in the world, they were all they wanted, they were all they needed. For better or for worse.