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VII.
“I have to go back,” Atsushi says.
Akutagawa throws a glance towards the building that was collapsing in on itself. “It’s too dangerous. Besides, you don’t stand a chance.”
Atsushi glares at him. “There’s still people down there.”
“They’re past saving,” Akutagawa snaps. “Don’t you understand? He wants us to go back there so he can finish us off.”
“So you’re willing to let them die?”
“If it means we survive, then yes,” Akutagawa says and Atsushi snaps his jaw shut. He looks livid but Akutagawa didn’t care if his words angered Atsushi or not. “We can wait here for backup together but you’re not going back there on your own and that’s final.”
Atsushi has this glint in his eyes. The one that says that he wasn’t going to listen to Akutagawa. Without saying another word, Atsushi marches back in the direction they came from.
Akutagawa’s suddenly struck by the thought that if Atsushi were to enter that building he wouldn’t walk out again. He doesn’t understand where that idea came from but it instills fear deep into his bones. He has to stop Atsushi. No matter what.
So Akutagawa did the only thing he could think of at the moment. He reaches out.
II.
At some point, they had begun to link fingers.
They’ve never held hands before. Akutagawa always wondered what it would feel like, to feel Atsushi’s palm within his own. But now that it’s actually happening Akutagawa is a mess of nerves.
He prays his palms aren’t sweaty.
Atsushi appears to be completely unaware of the internal panic he has caused Akutagawa. Instead, he’s humming to himself as he’s leading Akutagawa along the outskirts of town.
“Where are you taking me?” Akutagawa asks, desperate for some form of distraction but also to satiate his own curiosity.
Atsushi makes a disapproving noise in the back of his throat. “I told you I’m not telling you until we arrive, Ryuu.”
Akutagawa’s blush returns in full force at the use of his nickname. “I told you not to call me that.”
“You did,” Atsushi throws a glance in Akutagawa’s direction, “but that doesn’t necessarily mean I have to listen to you.”
"Why must you be so stubborn—"
Anything else Akutagawa was about to say is swiftly forgotten once they pass by an old building.
Akutagawa rarely delves into this part of the city but he's somehow overcome by the feeling that he's been here before.
A memory tries to make its way to the surface but it remains hazy. He doesn’t understand why but he feels like it's important.
"Is anything wrong?" Atsushi asks, voice laced with concern.
Akutagawa attempts to shake any lingering dread away. "I'm fine." He moves to match Atsushi’s pace. "Let's get out of here. I don't like this place."
They leave, but not before Akutagawa takes a final look.
IX.
It hasn’t sunk in yet.
His body tremors heavily as his mind struggles to catch up. Distantly he’s aware that he’s trudging through a hallway though he doesn’t know where his destination is.
He knows the anger will come eventually, the type that’s so overwhelming to the point that it blinds him. He knows he’ll feel guilt as he scrubs his hands clean, stained with blood that’s not his own.
But for now, he just feels numb.
III.
"You brought me to an ice cream truck."
Atsushi tenses up in defense. "Your point being?"
Akutagawa crosses his arms, suddenly amused. "You do realize it's the middle of Fall, right?"
"Well not all of us can afford to pay for fancy restaurants," Atsushi points out, "and I have more things planned for today, so quit bitching and order something."
"What's that about me being pissy?" Akutagawa asks, unable to keep a sly smirk from his face.
"God, just shut up."
VI.
"Jinko!" Akutagawa shouts, looking around in haste. He doesn't understand how he lost sight of him. He doesn't even know how much time has passed since he entered this place. The warped hallways have caused him to lose his grasp on reality.
"Jinko," he tries again and is met with a lack of response once more. With every minute that passes and every new corpse he encounters his mind is driven further into panic.
Atsushi will be fine. He's been in worse situations before and he's always come out on top. Akutagawa will find him. He'll–
"Jinko!"
"I'm right here!"
Akutagawa lets out a sigh of relief before rushing into the direction he heard Atsushi’s voice. He encounters Atsushi alongside more victims.
"They're still alive," Atsushi says but Akutagawa is caught up by their surroundings.
"This place looks like it's about to fall apart," Akutagawa says. They're somewhere underground. Akutagawa didn't even expect there to be a structure beneath the location they’re in.
"He's right there!" Atsushi shouts. Akutagawa catches a glimpse of their target but is distracted when the walls begin to tremble. A pillar starts to fall.
"Jinko, we need to go," Akutagawa says.
"But—"
Just as Atsushi was about to lurch forward Akutagawa grabs him by the hood and pulls him out to safety.
IV.
Atsushi’s phone rings, disturbing the peace they’ve found themselves in. He retrieves it from his pocket and takes a glance at the receiver. “Kunikida-san,” he explains before Akutagawa can even ask.
“Atsushi speaking,” he says. “Yes, I’m close by.”
Akutagawa watches as Atsushi’s smile visibly drops from his face. He begins to worry his bottom lip between his teeth, a nervous habit that Akutagawa has only recently picked up on.
Whatever he's being told on the other side of the line must be serious.
Atsushi nods his head. "I'll be there soon," he says before hanging up.
"What's wrong?" Akutagawa asks. That feeling of dread has returned, this time in full force.
"Nothing, I—" Atsushi cuts himself off at the pointed look Akutagawa gives him. He rubs his forehead. "I'm really sorry but I have to go. Something's come up."
He tries to leave but is stopped when Akutagawa clutches onto the sleeve of his hoodie. He quirks his brow.
"It’s an emergency," Atsushi explains, "an ability user is wreaking havoc nearby and there's a bunch of people caught up in the mix."
"I'll come with you," he says. He knows Atsushi can handle himself but this is different. Something's wrong.
"Are you sure?" Atsushi asks. "Today's your day off I don't want to ruin that or anything—"
"That wasn't offer, I'm coming with you whether you like it or not." Atsushi clearly didn't appreciate that answer if the way he frowns is anything to go by.
He lets a loud sigh out. “I’ll lead the way.”
X.
“Akutagawa Ryuunosuke, I presume?”
The haze begins to clear and Akutagawa’s struck by the sudden realization that he’s never been face to face with his enemy before. Every time he has seen him so far it was from a distance, or he’d only catch a glimpse. This is the first time he’s having an exchange with him.
Now, looking at his green eyes Akutagawa feels like there’s something strangely familiar about him. If Akutagawa didn’t know any better he’d say he’s met him before but that couldn’t be right. Surely Akutagawa would remember someone like him.
Still, he can’t stop himself from asking. “Do I know you?”
The man grins and it’s an ugly sight. His stare is unwavering, almost as if he’s looking right through Akutagawa. Like he knows something Akutagawa doesn’t.
“Perhaps you do,” the man said.
“Who are you?” Akutagawa demands in a tone that would strike fear into any one of his enemies. Of course, it would just so happen that this man isn’t just anyone.
“Who I am is not important to you,” he says, “though I’m sure you would like for me to confirm that it was me who who killed your boyfriend.”
Akutagawa sees red.
I.
“Took you long enough.”
Atsushi rolls his eyes in what is meant to be annoyance but his big, goofy smile gives him away. “Not my fault you’re impatient.”
Akutagawa crosses his arms in defense. “You’re late. I’ve been waiting here for the past 10 minutes.” He says, to which Atsushi huffs out a laugh.
“Am I late or did you arrive early,” Atsushi says. Any argument Akutagawa planned to raise got halted when Atsushi holds his hand up. “I remember we agreed to meet up at 3.”
Akutagawa pouts (something he would never admit to doing) and is rewarded for it with Atsushi’s soft giggle. “Don’t get pissy.”
As if that would be enough to sour his mood. Today’s the first time in a while where they both managed to get the day off. They’ve both been busy with work lately, and haven’t been able to talk a lot outside of text messages and the occasional joined missions they’ve had to go on together.
Really, Akutagawa’s grateful that he’s finally gotten time to spend with Atsushi. He’d never admit it out loud, but he misses hanging out with him.
Hanging out. That’s what they’ve decided to call it. Over the past year that they've known each other, they've grown close to the surprise of everyone. He doesn't fully understand how it happened himself, but Akutagawa’s come to care for Atsushi deeply and it's more than obvious that Atsushi feels the same way.
As more months passed, it became easier for Akutagawa to admit to himself that he wants to be with Atsushi. But neither of them were ready to label this thing they have so for now they're content with just being friends.
Even if Akutagawa’s been longing for more as of recent.
"I don't even know where you're taking me," Akutagawa grumbles.
"That's because it's supposed to be a surprise," Atsushi says. "Don't raise your eyebrows at me, you don’t have those."
Akutagawa ignores him and gestures in front of him instead. "Lead the way."
Atsushi grips Akutagawa’s hand with his own and pulls him into the direction of their destination and Akutagawa’s face heats up.
V.
It’s the same depilated building from before.
They’ve been here for five minutes already and are currently waiting for more agency members to arrive on the scene. Behind him, Atsushi paces back and forth in frustration.
"Where are they," Atsushi wonders out loud, more to himself than to Akutagawa.
"I'm sure they'll be here any minute now," Akutagawa says, an attempt to reassure him.
Atsushi paces a few more times before letting a groan out. "I'm going in."
That causes Akutagawa to pause. "I thought you were under strict instructions not to go in on your own?"
"I'm not on my own," Atsushi says. "I have you with me."
"I'm not even supposed to be here, to begin with," Akutagawa says.
Atsushi rolls his eyes at him. "Yeah, no shit. You're the one who invited yourself." Akutagawa sends him a heated glare which Atsushi pointedly ignores. "Whatever, I'm going in."
"Jinko," Akutagawa says as Atsushi retreats. He watches as Atsushi runs inside as irritation overtakes him.
"You idiot," he hisses under his breath before following Atsushi inside.
XI.
Akutagawa’s chest heaves with heavy breaths as he slams the man's body into the ground. His hand closes in on his enemy's collar as rashoumon moves to restrain him.
Under different circumstances, he'd kill the man in quick succession and be done with it. But this is different. This is personal. He wants to draw this out, watch as he squeezes the life out of him.
It's as if his enemy could read his mind. "If only Nakajima could see you now."
Akutagawa slams him harder into the ground and rashoumon’s grip tightens. "Don't say his name."
That stupid smirk refuses to leave the man's face, only serving to anger Akutagawa more. "You can kill me, but that won't bring him back."
"Shut up," Akutagawa says and rashoumon is ready to strike.
"However, if you let me live I might just help you reunite with him."
That causes Akutagawa to pause. "What?"
"I can undo it all, give you another chance to save him so long that you let me live," Akutagawa's grip on the man loosens as he takes the words in.
Undo it all? What does that—
"This is your only chance."
Akutagawa stares back into those knowing eyes. "Who are you? What's your game here."
The man's grin widens. "That's for me to know and you to find out."
Akutagawa's fully aware that he's missing out on the big picture. The man is purposefully leaving out details.
But honestly? He couldn't care less. Deep down, his mind was already made up.
"Deal."
VIII.
“Jinko!” Akutagawa shouts, frantically looking around the room. He receives no response, and he tries his best not to let himself fall into panic.
He hears a weak cough from his left and makes a sharp turn. Atsushi’s collapsed against a far corner of the room. The sight simultaneously causes Akutagawa to release a breath of relief and his anxiety to spike.
With long strides, he makes his way to his partner, kneeling down to face him. “You idiot,” he says, but there’s no heat to it. Atsushi lets out a pained laugh which only adds to his nerves. "I told you not to go back there."
Once again, Akutagawa's met with a lack of verbal response, prompting him to look at Atsushi. There’s a distant look in his eyes, one that Akutagawa isn't sure he likes.
He lightly taps Atsushi's cheeks, an attempt to garner his attention. "Hey, look at me," Akutagawa says and Atsushi's slow to initiate eye contact.
He looks so out of it.
Unable to keep looking at him any longer, Akutagawa decides to focus on Atsushi's injuries instead. His hoodie is torn to shreds, stained red as a result of the physical trauma Atsushi has suffered.
“You’ve lost a lot of blood,” Akutagawa notes, applying pressure to the wound in an attempt to stop the bleeding. “Why aren’t you healing?” He doesn’t expect an answer from Atsushi. Really, he’s only speaking to reassure himself.
Not that it’s working.
“You need medical attention,” he decides, and right as he’s about to retreat Atsushi speaks up for the first time since his arrival.
“Don’t leave me,” Atsushi says, and Akutagawa lets out a mean, bitter laugh.
“You must be more foolish than I thought,” Akutagawa hisses, “if you think I’m going to let you die here without any aid.”
“I won’t make it,” Atsushi lets out another cough, a wet sickening, sound. “I don’t want to die alone.”
“You won’t die here,” Akutagawa says. He moves to pull away but a weak hand twists into his hair and causes him to pause.
“Ryuunosuke, please.”
He freezes at the use of his given name and it’s because of that that Atsushi’s able to lift Akutagawa’s head despite his lack of strength. They lock eyes again, and Akutagawa feels his own water at the sight he’s met with.
Atsushi’s as white as a sheet and he blinks owlishly back at him. As he tries to lean in he crashes onto Akutagawa and their foreheads knock onto each other.
The dull ache is nothing compared to the agony he feels inside of him.
“Ryuunosuke,” Atsushi rasps, breath slow. “I’m sorry.”
His hand drops from Akutagawa’s face and Atsushi collapses further into Akutagawa’s chest. Unmoving.
“Atsushi,” Akutagawa says. He receives no response.
He lifts Atsushi from his embrace. He’s unusually still.
He begins to slap at his cheeks in an attempt to wake him. “Atsushi, you’re not allowed to die here,” he says, “not like this.”
Atsushi’s eyes remain closed.
“Please, I can’t lose you.” He hears a loud, ugly sob. And he’s only distantly aware that it’s his.
“Atsushi, please .”
Yet no amount of begging would work. Because Atsushi was gone.
-
“I have to go back,” Atsushi said.
Akutagawa only spared one glance towards the building that was collapsing in on itself. “It’s too dangerous. Besides, you don’t stand a chance.”
Atsushi glared at him. “There’s still people down there.”
“They’re past saving,” Akutagawa snapped. “Don’t you understand? He wants us to go back there so he can finish us off.”
“So you’re willing to let them die?”
“If it means we survive, then yes,” Akutagawa said and Atsushi snapped his jaw shut. He looked livid but Akutagawa didn’t care if his words angered Atsushi or not. “We can wait here for backup together but you’re not going back there on your own and that’s final.”
Atsushi had this glint in his eyes. The one that said that he wasn’t going to listen to Akutagawa. Without saying another word, Atsushi marched back into the direction they came from.
Akutagawa was suddenly struck by the thought that if Atsushi were to enter that building he wouldn’t walk out again. He didn’t understand where that idea came from but it instilled fear deep into his bones. He had to stop Atsushi. No matter what.
So, Akutagawa did the only thing he could think of at that moment. He reached out.
Atsushi stalled as Akutagawa's hand closed in on his wrist. "Jinko, please. Don't go."
Atsushi turned towards him and his glare softened. "You know I have to."
Akutagawa shook his head. "What if you get hurt? I can't lose you." He said. He never allowed himself to admit it out loud before, especially not in front of Atsushi, but Akutagawa couldn't think of anything else to convince him. "You're too important to me."
Vulnerability be damned.
Atsushi leaned his forehead onto Akutagawa's in an act of affection. "I'll be fine," he said whilst rubbing his thumb over Akutagawa’s, "I promise."
He planted a kiss onto Akutagawa’s face and retreated. Akutagawa wouldn't have that.
He drew Atsushi back and kissed him for all his worth and Atsushi was quick to respond. It was hungry and desperate but it was all Akutagawa could do to express himself where words failed him.
"Stay," he whispered to Atsushi’s lips. But Atsushi pulled away.
"I'm sorry," he said before turning away and it stung in a way Akutagawa never expected it to.
And just like that, Akutagawa watched in silence as Atsushi left him behind. Forever stuck in time.