Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Despite her age, the Neema was a well-maintained ship. To outsiders she may have looked strange; indeed the only giveaway she was a dreadnought was her massive size. Rivalling the live-ships for length, she was the only quarian built dreadnought left in the galaxy. Pushing two hundred and ninety eight, nearly every part of her had been patched up, replaced or upgraded. She’d guarded the Migrant Fleet since their escape from Rannoch; in a flotilla of fifty thousand ships, she was the tip of a very long spear.

Of course the hallmarks of life in the Fleet were present even here. The air was hazy, re-filtered so often that dust had begun to accumulate. All sorts of miscellaneous cargo and materials had been slung along her walls; every available space quickly had a purpose found for it. Though most of her crew were military, there was still the occasional child’s drawing etched along a wall. And like every ship in the quarian flotilla, it was crowded.

Tali’Zorah had long since adapted to life in crowds, flowing through an endless sea of suits and masks: A quick greeting here and there, a nod of the head or the raising of a hand. There was always a moment to be sociable. Making her way through the packed halls of the main crew deck, the young quarian slipped into the first available elevator, stealing a spot from an inattentive marine. She tapped the hologram and the old machinery groaned. The small capsule complained but swiftly ascended deck after deck. After only a minute the elevator came to a stop, a red warning flashing across the doors.

Authorisation required.

Tali held her Omni-tool to the door, feeling the frustrated eyes of the other passengers digging into her back. The scanner took just long enough to annoy her before the doors unlocked. Striding alone through the open portal, she took a moment to enjoy the change. Life aboard most of the Neema was loud and crowded, but the command deck was unique. Only those with clearance were allowed, so the typical bustle of the ship was nowhere to be found. The haze still lingered in the air, but the difference was enough. Greedily taking in the elbowroom, Tali indulged in a long stretch. Bending her flexible body back and forth she relished the sound of pops and cracks, her lithe physique relinquishing at least some of its tension. Checking her tool, she set off again with a spring in her step; the briefing would be starting soon.

After another tedious scan, the doors to the Neema’s briefing room opened. The typical aspects of the Migrant Fleet were completely absent here. The room itself was high-tech, with a large hologram projector in the centre and seating for a small group scattered around it. Fitted with soundproofing and emission blockers, it was the most secure room on the ship. Tali couldn’t help but feel a little nervous; there were already a number of people gathered inside, almost all of whom she didn’t recognise. Most were men, tall broad-shouldered marines. There were a couple of other women, though the way they carried themselves she could sense they were veterans too: There was an unspoken understanding in the back of her mind, these were elite troops. As her bright eyes scanned the room, a single recognisable figure stood out from the rest. Tali felt a knot in her stomach, the same she’d always felt when seeing him. Some of the others had glanced her way as she entered, but her father’s eyes had caught her the moment she stepped inside.

“Good, you’re here.” Admiral Rael’Zorah’s tone bore no familial warmth as his daughter quickly found a spare seat. “We can begin, seal the room!” The admiral’s order was met with the hissing clench of doors and the dimming of the lights. The small squad leaned in attentively as the projector displayed a hologram of the Milky Way.

“Forty Eight hours ago a ship emerged from the Tassrah Relay in the Phoenix Massing. Comm buoy intercepts show the ship entered the system from the Far Rim, with the origin point in the Perseus Veil.” Rael’s voice held the group as the display switched to a star system, then a model of the ship. “ It’s a batarian pirate frigate, masquerading as a tramp freighter. It’s been linked to several colony raids along the geth border. A week ago, we received a report these pirates had captured two pilgrims in one their raids, before making the Relay jump.” Muffled curses rounded the small room, a number of the marines shaking their heads.

“Do we know if they’re alive, sir?” A gruff marine clad in red spoke out. Tali could hear the tension in his voice.

“No.” The admiral shook his head. “When the batarians went to the Far Rim, we assumed they’d be destroyed. How they survived so long in geth space is unclear…” He paused for a moment, silently considering something. “…Regardless, we have an opportunity to rescue our people, and I don’t intend on letting it slip by.”

“Yes sir!” Came in chorus from the soldiers.

“Now…” Rael’s voice hushed the excited marines. On cue the hologram switched to display the pirate ship in detail. “…The operation is simple, you will disable and board the ship. Priority one is rescuing the pilgrims and any other civilians. Priority two is their flight recorder, anything that can tell us about the geth systems. If any actual geth technology is on board, secure it for transport back to the fleet.” Suddenly the display changed again, this time showing a new ship. The marines cocked their heads in surprise.

“What’s that sir, the pirates have an escort or something?” The marine in red asked, puzzled.

“No Commander. This is the reason you’re all here.” Rael let the statement sit, giving the soldiers a moment to exchange shocked glances. Tali simply looked on, that knot in her stomach feeling even worse. “This is the Nualli. She’s a prototype stealth ship designed for recon and infiltration. She’s spent the past few days in shakedown, making passes along the fleet without raising a single alarm. Admiral Gerrel wasn’t even aware until I had it fly past the Neema’s observation deck.” The room filled with a mixture of chuckles and awed murmurs. “This will be her first proper mission. Use the stealth systems to get in close and then disable the engines and weapons before the pirates have time to react.”

“We’ll bring those kids home sir!” The red commander saluted, the other marines standing to attention.

“Excellent…” The admiral returned the salute. “…There is one last order of business. Given the unique nature of the Nualli, I’ve assigned it’s chief designer, Tali’Zorah to your squad. She will be accompanying you as the mission specialist.” There was an air of unease as all eyes turned on the young woman, standing at attention like the rest. Each pair of eyes said something different, but the room remained silent.

“Yes sir.” Came in unison.

“Report to docking cradle fourteen in two hours. Dismissed.” Tali felt her father’s eyes on her before the words followed. “Specialist, stay behind a moment.” She lingered by her seat, watching as the room slowly depopulated. None of the other soldiers said anything, but a few offered a nod as they passed. Soon the two of them were alone. Tali supressed a childish tingle running up her spine. She felt like a bad student, about to be reprimanded by the teacher. Her eyes didn’t leave the door, and soon the tall presence of her father stood by her side. They’d shared this silence before, an awkward, fumbling attempt to enjoy each other’s company. Perhaps it was enough that at least he tried?

“Father?” Tali broke the silence, turning to look at him. Admiral Zorah seemed smaller these days, more like his fellow admirals rather than the titan she remembered growing up. His eyes shone back at her; despite the mask she could see the weariness in them.

“How’s the Nualli? Is she mission-ready?” Rael asked coolly.

“I double-checked her myself, she’s ready.” Tali answered, betraying her frustration more than she meant to.

“First Recon has some of my best marines Tali. I’m putting their lives in your hands…” Rael regarded her, looking down his nose. “…To say nothing of the cost. The Board gave up a live-ship for this.”

“I know what it cost!” Tali bit back. “Keelah, I built the damn thing under budget! You wanted a stealth ship, I gave you one!” She pointed a long finger at him. For a moment she saw that familiar flash in his eyes. She braced herself for a chewing out; secretly she looked forward to a shouting match. But her father simply leaned back, straightening himself to his full height, his arms folded behind him.

“The mission will be starting soon.” She hated when he did that… when he looked through her. She turned on her toes without so much as a nod, exiting the room without giving him the satisfaction of seeing how angry it made her.

Tali had gotten to the docking bay ahead of everyone else. Finding herself alone in the hall, she leaned against a secured crate and looked out through the glass at her creation. Over a year of construction with billions of credits worth of resources poured into her, and she still just looked like an ugly knockoff of the Normandy. Compared to the Alliance frigate, the Nualli was tiny; barely ninety meters long. Her wingspan was shorter, with only two heavily modified thrusters instead of four. With such a short length it was a wonder she’d been able to accommodate the mass-accelerator cannon running down the spine: Just a single gun, but good for precision shooting. She only sported a handful of GARDIAN lasers, but enough for missile defence and close-up fights. Tali had tried her best to supplement the light armament with torpedoes, but all in all, the scout ship just wasn’t built for fighting. If there was one thing the Nualli had in common with the Normandy, it was her reliance on stealth. It had been a pain-staking process, but the young quarian had managed to replicate the Normandy’s most important parts, albeit to a smaller and less effective degree.

Her father’s words lingered in her mind. He was placing the lives of his best men in her hands. Had she overpromised? Could this ship really perform in the field? Sure it’d made sweeps across the flotilla, but if something went wrong out there…

“Huh, I thought it’d be bigger.” A familiar gruff voice caught Tali’s attention. Snapping to attention, she turned to see the red commander, arms folded as he looked over the strange looking ship. He gave her a glance as she came to a stop.

“Uh-sorry, commander. The ship’s core size had to be proportional for the stealth to work, so I had to keep the design small and light in order to account for…” She trailed off as he raised a hand.

“Sorry ma’am. A terrible attempt at humour.” The red commander reassured her. Tali felt her cheeks flare in embarrassment.

“Oh, right. Of course.” She theatrically rapped her knuckles against the side of her helmet. “Still got the admiral in my ear.” She said with a forced chuckle, eliciting a real one in response.

“I can imagine. Hardest thing I had to do today was draft up a boarding op. Meanwhile they had you building a ship.” The commander’s friendly comparison put the young woman at ease as he closed the distance between them. “Kal’Reegar, First Recon Marines.” He said warmly.

“Tali’Zorah, Special Projects.” She replied. Feeling better, she sunk back against the crate. Kal joined her, angling himself out toward the ship, taking it in again.

“It’s kind of a weird design, if you don’t mind me saying so ma’am. Very… aerodynamic?” Kal’s attentive observation surprised her.

“It’s… kind of a necessity.” Tali admitted with a shrug. “The Admiralty wanted a scout ship that could land on any planet. Normally for a ship this size we’d just use the Mass-Effect core to reduce the ship’s weight, but unfortunately the Nualli’s core pulls double duty for her stealth. We need all the help we can get, so I made it an aircraft too.” Kal nodded along, but she’d seen that look before.

“Right. Got most of that ma’am. Use lift where we can?” Tali nodded. “So what’s the ship’s core got to do with the stealth?”

“Uh… Keelah, how do I…” Tali puzzled over the answer for a moment, compressing it as much as she could. “Okay. Basically we use an oversized core to project and manipulate the Mass-Effect field around the ship. By increasing the effect in front of the ship, the Nualli “falls” forward, creating acceleration without using the thrusters. Meanwhile we trap our heat emissions inside internal heat sinks, so that the exterior of the ship matches the temperature of the space around it. Doing this makes us essentially invisible to scanners.” She couldn’t help but feel a little pride in her straightforward explanation, Chief Engineer Adams would be proud. It only lasted a moment when she caught that same look.

“Right…” Kal said nervously. He gave a few nods, placing his hands on his hips. After another look out at the Nualli, he turned to her defeated. “Sorry ma’am, you lost me.” His dejected tone got an unexpected chuckle out of her.

“It’s fine Commander.” She held up a hand, getting herself under control. “Admiral Gerrel thought I was crazy too.” Kal gave a knowing nod, allowing himself a snort.

“It’s not crazy at all ma’am. Hell if this ship really can get us in undetected, I’d say it’s a work of damn genius.” Kal’s voice betrayed a little awe as he appreciated the implications of the new ship. His genuine compliment didn’t go unnoticed, getting a second flare from the young engineer’s cheeks.

The two quarians chatted for a while longer, running out the clock until the mission started. For a First Recon Marine, Kal’Reegar wasn’t what Tali expected. His name had come up before; his family was well known for military excellence. But almost every generation had grown up on agriculture ships; he certainly had the accent. He was a nice change from some of the other soldiers she’d met. He wasn’t just protocol and propaganda in a mask. Kal’Reegar recounted a few funny anecdotes from previous missions, seeming to take special care to avoid anything nasty while Tali defaulted to her comfort zone; her long list of engineering mishaps, including her potential implication in ship-wide power loss aboard the Rayya when she was fourteen.

Soon the rest of the marines turned up, all perfectly on time, and before she knew it Tali was joining them down the docking tube. Feeling the Nualli hum to life all around her, feeling the gentle push of those customised engines taking her off on her first real mission. Knowing that months of gruelling labour had produced something worthwhile, it made her heart glow. For a moment, it even felt like the Normandy.

Chapter Text

Tali could hear screaming in the halls. The metal floor beneath her feet lurched, throwing the quarian against the wall. There was a blinding flash; a pillar of light tore through the ceiling. The screeching of metal was deafening. She stumbled as fast as she could, following behind her friends. Trembling all over, she headed up the ramp toward the escape pods, toward safety. She felt the pod rock back and forth as it escaped the blazing wreck. She watched as spears of light ripped her home apart. She pounded against the window, screaming and begging and pleading. Her mind raced, looking for a way back, a way to save him…

Tali woke with a gasp, her heart pounding in her ears. Realisation came to her and she quickly glanced around the cramped bunkroom. Every bed was full; marines and crewmates getting what sleep they could. Silently chastising herself, the young quarian slinked out of the room, careful not to disturb anyone. Squeezing through the cramped crew deck, she grabbed a drink from the mess. Slipping the straw into her mask’s induction port, Tali took a long sip, focusing on the feeling of cold liquid sliding down her throat. Focusing on sensations, rare and wonderful sensations. She’d take any distraction she could get.

Whenever the young engineer’s mind wasn’t preoccupied with a task or focused on some sort of distraction, it was quick to wander. Reliable, cataloguing memories were common among quarians; she supposed it had been what gave her people their uncanny knack for technology. But even among quarians Tali’s memory was impeccable. Keeping multiple complex tasks or equations in her head at once, while also tending to another task was child’s play for her. This gift had made her a prodigy… and a bit of a show off among her people, but to other species, it was considered extraordinary.

The first time she’d realised just how different her memory was to other species had been her lessons with engineer Adams. He’d been astounded by how quickly she’d absorbed the details of the Normandy’s advanced engineering. Despite how quick of a study she’d been, Tali certainly learned to appreciate the more friendly style of human teaching. A small smile crept on her face, if only she’d known just how important those lessons would become.

Knowing her own abilities was one thing, but learning about the memory of another species had been a totally new experience for Tali. Naturally, it had been a long conversation with Shepard that was the catalyst. She could still remember the slight note of frustration in Garrus’ tone when he’d elected to turn in. After an hour of chatting around the mess hall table, her old commander hadn’t been able to help himself. On the tail end of yet another indulgent anecdote about some technical blunder or other, he asked how she could so easily recall even the smallest details. Tali shrugged, simply saying it was easy, and with a little focus there wasn’t much she couldn’t recall. The conversation progressed along the subject of quarian memory, a topic their turian friend found exceptionally boring.

It hadn’t been long after Garrus had left, that the two friends had started swapping old memories, comparing just how much each could recall. Eventually Shepard yielded, but his answers had piqued her interest. So Tali asked him, just how human memory worked? It seemed so inconsistent, some times he struggled to recall the simplest things; like the number on a cargo bay door, or what kind of geth units they’d faced in a recent mission. But other times, he’d regale her in rich detail about his time in boot camp, or his first journey through a Mass Relay. He could recall even early memories of his childhood on Mindoir, getting up early with his sister to clamber to the top of their pre-fab home and watch the strange flying creatures crow with the rising sun.

His answer surprised her. Shepard returned her innocent shrug, simply saying that the memories he remembered the easiest… were his fondest ones. His answer had stuck with her long after their conversation had ended. She’d lain in her sleeper pod, thinking about the stories he’d told her, trying her best to imagine her brave commander as a little boy, tussling with his sibling in the mud under a rich blue sky. The young quarian felt warm all over, picturing the serene setting. Despite the many faults of human memory, the idea that the memories they loved were the ones that endured, she thought was beautiful. That night, in her sleeper pod aboard the Normandy, Tali wondered if Shepard would remember her like that.

Shepard…

Tali forced down the lump in her throat. Her free hand balled into a fist, it took considerable effort not to smash it down onto the table. White-hot anger flared up inside her. For nearly a minute she just sat there, shaking with rage. Slowly the feeling passed, her fury bleeding away with long, slow breaths. She slumped forward on the table, setting her drink down. She held her head in her hands, her eyes looking unfocused at the palms of her gloves pressed up against her mask. The young woman unconsciously blinked a tear away, feeling the warm droplet slide down her cheek.

Sixteen months…

Over a year since it happened. Weeks spent sobbing in her suit, nightmares whenever she slept. Stumbling through her return ceremony, numbly accepting her new role aboard her new ship. Showered with praise and prestige. The pride of the fleet: A true Zorah, her father’s daughter. She remembered him there at her ceremony. His eyes on a data-pad, a cursory glance up at her between talks with his underlings. He didn’t give a speech, didn’t dance with her, he just sat there, counting down the minutes until he could leave.

Shala had tried to be there for her. Han’Gerrel had spent the night retelling the battle of the Citadel, pointing to her and calling her a hero. But Tali didn’t care, she didn’t even notice. The young quarian loved her people; they were family. But after losing the Normandy… and Shepard, it was like her eyes had been opened. She’d hated seeing the way the galaxy treated her people, but the care and attention of one human had shown her something else, who she was.

But now, back home, she wasn’t Tali anymore. She was Tali’Zorah vas Neema, proud member of the Migrant Fleet. The next generation of the qaurian people, a brave soldier against the geth and the vanguard for the glorious return to the Homeworld. Even amongst her own people, she couldn’t escape what she was. That was all anyone saw: A suit, a mask and a ship name.

Tali remembered how strange she’d thought Wrex had been: An introspective krogan? But after talking to him, she saw the pain he felt. His people looked down on as monsters, treated with hostility and suspicion. Her heart had gone out to him; she knew how unfair people could be judging someone by their species. But aboard the Normandy, with Shepard, things had been different. She wasn’t just a quarian, she was just Tali.

She wanted to be just Tali again.

“You’re supposed to be in bed, ma’am.” Kal’s best attempt at sternness pulled the young woman back into the mess room. Lifting her head to watch him approach, Tali gave an apologetic nod.

“I know. Just… having trouble sleeping.” She suddenly felt self-conscious, looking down at her hands as the red-clad marine sat down next to her. Tali braced herself for questioning, some nasty little clue that her friendly acquaintance was actually yet another ear for her father. Kal was nice, but a lifetime in Rael’s shadow had taught her not to trust nice.

“Yeah, you know you’re not the only one. Some of the guys have told me they’re having trouble too. They think it’s too quiet.” Kal said, his tone light. Hearing her old pilgrimage laments brought up again sparked an unplanned snort from her. “Something I said, ma’am?” Kal asked, confused.

“No, no. It’s just that, I used to have the same problems. Falling asleep on my pilgrimage without the noise of the fleet.”

“You mean on that Alliance ship you served on?”

Tali bristled, turning to face Kal.

“You… read up on me, then?” Her tone was colder now.

“Just a precaution ma’am. Most of my men, they’ve got things they don’t like talking about, but it’s my job to know anyway. If something comes up out there, I’ve got to be able to deal with it. Nothing worse than fighting an unknown.” Kal answered, his voice more serious. Tali let it go, she knew he was right.

“I get that.” She relented, the tension easing. “Interesting reading?”

“You could say that. Your personnel record was oddly… vague? Just the general stuff; you found some evidence implicating that turian spectre, then you worked with another spectre to take him down. Oh, and there was something in there about saving the galaxy?” Kal’s assertion got a laugh out of Tali.

“Hah! Mostly I just tried to keep my head down.” She assured him.

“Sounds like modesty, ma’am.” Kal gave her a sideways look. “I’m sure you saw plenty of action working with a Spectre, a human, right?

“…Shepard.” Tali answered quietly, nodding. “I actually met him before he became a Spectre. He… saved my life.” She could still remember it, the smell of TNT in the cramped alley. The ringing in her ears as her helmet audio compensated for the explosion. The flash of tracers, the blue mist of turian blood as her assassin fell dead near her feet. She’d never been so scared… and so relieved.

“I like him already.” Kal noted. “Good to know there are some decent aliens out there.”

“He was… more than decent. After he saved me, Shepard invited me onto his crew, treated me like an equal. He never said a thing about me being quarian. Well, except for all the questions he had.” Tali recounted warmly.

“I suppose you were the first one he’d ever met.” Kal offered.

Tali nodded. “We talked all the time, about the flotilla, about Earth and the human colonies. You wouldn’t believe how weird Earth is. Have you ever seen a giraffe?”

Kal shook his head. Tapping her Omni-tool, Tali cycled through her saved files until she found the tall herbivore. Bringing up a screen, she showed off the exotic creature, causing the marine’s eyes to bulge behind his mask.

“How big?” He asked.

“Five. Meters. Tall.”

“Keelah…”

Tali recounted her time aboard the Normandy, telling him about all the missions Shepard and her had been on together. How what had started out as an effective team between engineer and soldier; eventually grew into an inseparable partnership. A human and a quarian, shoulder-to-shoulder while they embarked on the mission of a lifetime. She told him about her unexpected friendship with Garrus; how his stiff turian opinions about her people slowly melted away, becoming one of her closest friends. Or Wrex, a massive krogan mercenary who’d become like an uncle to her, showing her the ropes in close combat, refining her now deadly effectiveness with shotguns. Despite his own wealth of experience, Kal’Reegar couldn’t help but marvel at the tale: A young woman, knee-deep in her pilgrimage whisked away by a Spectre to save the galaxy.

Though she was thorough in her retelling, there were things Tali didn’t mention. There was no hiding how close she’d become with Shepard, how what they’d shared had made them the best of friends: The kind of trust that any soldier could understand. But there were other things, deeper things. She didn’t tell Kal about Shepard sharing his tragic memories of Mindoir, or how she really felt about her father. And above all, she didn’t breathe a word about that night, with Virmire still in the air aboard the Normandy. How she’d held her friend in his most vulnerable moment, or the thrill she felt when his blue, human eyes took in the curves of her body. She didn’t tell Kal about how she’d pressed her visor to his forehead, or how she’d wished that magical moment between them could’ve lasted forever. But she told her new commander everything else, and for the first time in over a year, the memories flowed warmly.

When she’d finished, recounting the climactic battle with a Reaper on the Citadel, Kal’Reegar could hardly believe it.

“Keelah…” He said dumbly, still recovering. “So, you really did save the galaxy with this human?”

“Yeah… maybe a little.” Tali said smugly. For a while Kal didn’t say anything, pondering over something while she enjoyed a memory of the party her friends and her had thrown after they were all discharged from hospital. She remembered the club music in her ears and the mostly sterilised liquor in her belly. She’d even managed the impossible and got Shepard to dance with her.

“Y’know the way you tell it, I’m surprised you came back.” Kal’s statement gripped the girl, pulling her straight back into that cramped mess room. Tali’s eyes shot over to him, letting out more than she meant to. “Sorry ma’am. Didn’t mean to imply anything.” He quickly added. She was angry, hearing someone talk so casually about what had happened. But she stamped it out; Tali knew it wasn’t fair on him.

“It’s fine.” She said, keeping her voice steady. Finishing off the drink, she stood up from the table. “My shift starts in a few hours, I should try and get some sleep.” Tali heard Kal’s agreement, but by then her mind was somewhere else… Where it always seemed to be these days.

Chapter Text

The Nualli had emerged from the Tassrah Relay only an hour ago. A quick scan of the system had revealed exactly what the crew had hoped for: The pirate frigate was on the far side of the planet. It had been orbiting a large gas giant in the most recent intercept; the trip around the massive object took multiple hours. Taking advantage of the enemy’s temporary blindness, Kal’Reegar called it, the mission was a go. Punching into FTL, the scout ship shot across the solar system. The burns took precise timing, the whole ship flipping over to begin slowing down again. Coasting into a high orbit, the Nualli cut her engines and the IES systems activated to begin trapping external heat emissions. Tali worked diligently in engineering, keeping a close eye on her baby. They’d cut the approach close, but by the time the pirate ship crested the horizon the Nualli’s heat signature was all but gone. Despite a quick power spike to cool the ship, she was happy to see everything sitting comfortably within parameters. Halfway through double-checking her readings, she was called up to the bridge. Comfortable her understudy had the engine room well in hand, Tali made her way along the crew deck, weaving past marines readying their weapons.

She squeezed through the small entryway onto the bridge; more of a glorified cockpit really, but it got the job done. Kal’Reegar was waiting for her, along with his lieutenant, a man named Prazza. They both turned to her as she entered.

“Meeko, any sign we tipped them off?” Kal asked the pilot.

“No change in position or velocity. Thrusters are still cold and their LADAR sweep intervals haven’t changed. I’d say we caught ‘em with their suits unbuckled.” Meeko’s mature voice oozed confidence, her eyes never off the windows or readouts.

“Looks like your ship is a work of genius, ma’am.” Kal complimented the young engineer.

“Thank you Commander.” Tali gave a polite nod. “Everything in engineering is green. I can show you if you’d like.” Kal waved his hand.

“Not exactly why I called you up here. Now that we’re shadowing the pirates, Meeko and I were just deciding how best to approach.”

“Kal wants me to take the shot from here.” The pilot interrupted. “But I already told him our little plan won’t work at this range.” Tali grinned.

“So what is our little plan, specialist?” Kal tilted his head. With a tap of her Omni-tool, the two officers and Tali huddled around Meeko’s chair, watching the main view-screen. A close-up image of the pirate ship came on screen, with a mock-up of the interior overlayed.

“From what I could tell from the model. Our best bet would be to put a round through the drive core’s primary capacitor…” Tali explained. “…If we hit the main element zero mass, it’ll destroy the ship. But if we kill the capacitor, the ship’s drive core won’t be able to regulate electric charge correctly. It’ll automatically go offline. Barriers and weapons will come down, then we can board her.” Kal and Prazza nodded silently, considering the approach.

“Except…” Meeko grabbed their attention. “…I can’t make that precise of a shot from here. Not to mention firing the main gun at this range will definitely light up their scanner. They’ll see it coming and bug out.” She turned her helmet, just a little toward them. “We need to get in close.”

“Commander, if we get closer the frigate could pick us up. Even if this ship can hide from scanners, eventually their telescopes will spot us.” Prazza interjected. “We should take the shot from here!”

“I can’t guarantee a clean shot from here!” Meeko fired back. “If we screw this up by even a few metres, we’ll atomise that ship!”

“Enough!” Kal’Reegar’s voice silenced the both of them. The bridge went silent for a moment; no one wanting to speak first while Kal weighed his options. “Tali, How far can the Nualli travel by Tantalus, can she get us close enough?”

“She can get us there, Commander.” Tali answered, certain. “She’s a small ship, I doubt they’ll spot us before we get within range… I trust her.” Kal nodded, but didn’t say anything. He looked back at the readouts. Prazza and Meeko both exchanged glares while Tali held her nervous hands at her sides. Finally Kal straightened himself.

“Alright, let’s do it.”

Making her way down to the cargo deck, Tali felt the now familiar tug in her stomach as the Tantalus core began to warp space in front of the ship. The small singularity generated was powerful enough to drag the entire vessel forward, causing it to accelerate as it “fell” toward the black hole. The effect was greatly lessened within the ship, but she, and no doubt everyone else, could still feel the pull. Not enough to wrench a quarian over, but enough to make them nauseous. Tali shook it off, descending double time down the stairs and joining up with the marines. There were six in total, plus her.

They’d all congregated outside the main feature within the notably small bay: A heavily modified shuttle, repurposed for fast boarding actions. Just small enough to fit inside the Nualli, the shuttle boasted the typical forward and rear thrusters, but it’s bow consisted of a large circular airlock, with a malleable seal to grip the outer hull of an enemy ship. Fitted with a cutting laser and EMP prong, the boarding craft could disable enemy electronics and create an entry point anywhere. Tali hadn’t really appreciated the ingenuity in the design, though she did appreciate just how snugly it fit inside her creation.

Wasting no time, the boarding team filed into the shuttle, each marine strapping in. Tali took her seat across from Kal and Prazza, right next to the breaching lock. Once she was secure, a quick briefing flashed up on her mask’s HUD.

“Alright everyone. Let’s keep this simple…” Kal’s voice filled her ears. “Meeko’s gonna punch a hole through the engine and cripple the frigate. When the defences are down, we go in. We’ll kill the lights and insert above engineering. I’ll be leading OP-1; our main objective is the bridge, keep an eye out for our pilgrims but I want all civilians safe and secure. Got it?”

“Yes sir!” Came through in unison.

“Good. Prazza leads OP-2; you’ll take specialist Zorah and secure engineering. Disable any sabotage or traps you find there. Pirates always have contingencies. Once the drive and rector are secure, seal the door and rendezvous with OP-1 at the bridge. Tali will hack the pirates’ mainframe and we’ll gather any intel we can regarding the frigate’s flight path and sensor recordings. Like the admiral said, we find any geth tech we try and secure it but the civilians are priority one! Everyone clear?”

There was another chorus of affirmation.

“Meeko, how’s it looking up there?” Kal patched through to the pilot.

“Just a few more seconds… All right, we’re in range. Charging main gun.” She paused for a moment. The Nualli hummed as her mass accelerator cannon powered up. Tali could feel the tingle of electricity in her suit.

“We’re green and mean Commander, call the shot.”

Kal’s order came through in one crystal clear sound. “Fire.”

“Round away.”

The whole ship shuddered, lurching backward. A fist-sized hunk of metal screamed down the barrel of the cannon, propelled by powerful electromagnets and lightened to near weightlessness by the mass effect field it rested in. Leaving the ship-length gun at a blistering five hundred times the speed of sound, the slug travelled the almost two hundred kilometre distance in a second. There was barely enough time for the pirates to register the muzzle flash before the hypersonic round slammed into the stern of their frigate. Even the aftermarket kinetic barriers did little to stop it. The slug vaporised on impact, sending a jet of white-hot liquid metal straight through the drive core’s main capacitor. A perfect hit.

Seconds later the Nualli detected primary power loss from the frigate. GARDIAN lasers and kinetic barriers were down. Main propulsion was down and without main electrical, long-range comms soon followed. The pirates were crippled, toothless and gagged. With the threat pacified, the docking clamps released the boarding shuttle. Rocketing out of the cargo bay, the shuttle headed straight for the frigate. Despite the designation, the ship itself was an obvious retrofit job done to a freighter. That meant a large, likely modified cargo hold and vertically stacked decks; lots of places for an ambush. As they got closer, the retro-thrusters kicked in, slowing the craft down as it manoeuvred through zero-g. Hugging the frigate’s exterior, the quarian shuttle finally decided on a spot, a deck or two above engineering without anything external to bump into. Coming in slowly and carefully, the breaching-lock pressed up against the hull, external arms securing the two craft together. The cabin shook, the cue for the team to unbuckle their seats. Seconds later the EMP prong extended from the shuttle, frying the circuitry and killing the lights. The cutting laser fizzed as it made a quick circular sweep around the doorway.

“Alright. Switch over to internal suit comms. No external audio unless dealing with civilians. Shut off your HUDs and chin-lights. I don’t want the bastards seeing us coming.” The small team tapped away at their Omni-tools, one by one each pair of shining eyes faded into their mask. Tali gave her night-vision goggles a quick tug to make sure they were secure.

“Everyone ready?” They all stood up, weapons in hand. Tali unfolded her shotgun, slinging it across her chest as she checked her pistol. Everyone had flash and sound suppressors on. Falling in next to Prazza, she took one final long breath, steeling herself. Kal’Reegar opened the airlock door. The cut-through piece of hull still clung on, just barely. Rearing back he delivered a powerful kick, sending it crashing into the far wall.

“Go!”

OP-1 entered the hallway and went left, the four marines headed for the left side stairs. Prazza gave Tali a nod and then OP-2 exited the shuttle. It was dark; almost pitch black thanks to the EMP. Thanks to her night-vision goggles however, the run-down guts of the frigate were as clear as day. Prazza took the lead, with another marine covering the rear. Tali was in the middle, checking rooms with the lieutenant. Slowly the team moved down the hall, muffled sounds of gunfire echoing through the ship as they went. The batarians were putting up a fight. Suddenly the heavy thudding of boots coming up from below broke the tense atmosphere. Tali dropped to one knee, slinging her shotgun and pulling her pistol. Prazza kept standing, levelling his assault rife toward the stairwell. The footfalls grew louder until a pair of batarians rounded the corner, rifles in hand.

Prazza fired a burst from his rifle, the quiet chattering spooking the pirates. The closer one took the rounds in his chest, crumpling to the ground with a gurgling groan. Before the second could react Tali’s pistol snapped three rounds through his head. He didn’t make a sound as he collapsed next to his friend.

“Nice shooting, techie.” Prazza’s compliment received a curt nod from Tali.

“I’ve had a lot of practice.”

OP-2 moved forward, clearing the lower deck door by door. After taking down two guards waiting outside engineering, they made a final sweep along the hall. All the other rooms were empty. Tali figured if there were any more pirates on this deck, they’d be holed up in engineering.

“Think they’re waiting for us in there?” The other marine asked them.

“That’d be my guess.” Prazza answered. “Tali, can you override the door?” She nodded. “Alright, when I give the signal open the door a crack. I’ll toss a flash-bang and then we’ll hit them.” Tali gave another nod as she tapped at her Omni-tool. She could’ve cracked the pirate’s network in her sleep; the door was under her control by the time they’d formed up on it. Grenade in hand, the lieutenant looked over to her.

“Do it.”

Tali parted the door. Prazza tossed the grenade through before readying his rifle. There was a loud bang from inside and a flash of light escaped through the slim opening. With a swipe of her Omni-tool the door opened fully. The three quarians burst in, met by seven batarians all still reeling from the blast. Tali lined up the two closest, ripping their heads off with shotgun blasts. The marines’ rifles spat burst after muffled burst, claiming two more each. The last pirate barely had time to fire his weapon before Tali’s pistol found its mark, sending a round through his throat. While the enemy had numbers, the Mirgrant Fleet Marines were some of the best trained and equipped soldiers in the Terminus Systems; and First Recon were some of the best in the galaxy. The scum never stood a chance.

Tali quickly flitted around the room, checking over the drive core and fusion reactor. There was a patch on the far wall, likely where the Nualli’s shot had come through. They’d tried to make repairs. Tali could make out some of the damage to the capacitor, appreciating Meeko’s fine gunnery. Kal had been correct in his assessment; there was a bomb attached to the reactor. It was a slapped-together kicker charge, designed to start a chain reaction within the main core. It hadn’t been properly wired however, and the young engineer had little trouble disarming it. Thanks to the capacitor failure and subsequent EMP, most of the systems were disabled. After a quick check of the bodies for intel, the team moved back out into the hall, sealing the door behind them.

“OP-1 this is OP-2, over.”

“This is OP-1.”

“Engineering and lower decks cleared.”

“Copy, proceed up the secondary stairwell to the bridge. Be advised, we are still engaged. Watch for hostiles.”

“We’re on our way. Out.” Prazza looked over to Tali.

“Keelah, more stairs…”

Chapter Text

The three quarians proceeded up the stairwell they’d come down. The next deck was cluttered with crates and other refuse, making it hard to see. The grunts and curses of the pirates caught the attention of the near-silent marines, with occasional flashes of gunfire lighting up the dishevelled deck. Doors, corners, and crates: Plenty of places to hide an enemy, or a bomb. Progress was slow, checking one spot after the other. Once or twice the batarians caught them by surprise. About two decks up, the team came across what they’d been dreading since they arrived. The smell of blood and waste filled their noses, olfactory filters were quickly switched off.

Holding cells.

The marines were more careful now. Some of the emergency lighting had survived, bathing the hallway in a dim red glow. Sweeping each cramped room slowly, they were hoping to find a familiar set of eyes glowing back at them. If the pilgrims were anywhere, they’d be here. Tali was feeling more and more nervous, gripping her shotgun tightly as she checked each room. In the relative silence, they heard a metal clanking. A room two doors up. Exchanging a look with Prazza, she took point. Bypassing the door, she slowly peeked in. The light glinted on her helmet and a volley of gunshots rang out. Snapping back against the door, she watched as the tracers whizzed past, covering the adjacent wall in a wild, random grouping. She could pick up what sounded like panting coming from inside, but it didn’t sound batarian. Taking a risk, she turned on her mask audio.

“Hello? Are you a prisoner?” Her voice filled the previously silent hall. Prazza’s head jerked over to her, clearly shocked. She raised a hand, silently asking for his trust.

“Who’s there? What are you saying?” The voice from inside yelled out. Checking her Omni-tool, she registered the species language as… human! Tali felt relieved, before realising that they mustn’t have had a translator for quarian. She racked her brain for a solution. She didn’t want to risk hurting him. But his pistol could take her shields down fast at such close range. If he couldn’t translate, than maybe… That’s it!

“Hyoo-man?” Tali sounded out the word, her translator off. Ashley’s phonetic lessons had finally come in handy. There was a long pause.

“D-Did you say, human? Yes! Yes I’m human!” The voice became excited. Tali took her chance. Removing her goggles, she reactivated her visor HUD and chin-light. Slowly she leaned around the doorway, her natural night-vision helping somewhat. There was a man leaned up against the back wall of a small office, with a dead batarian slumped next to him. He flinched when she entered, pointing his gun at her. Tali held up her hands, leaving her shotgun slung across her chest. She could see him trembling.

“Ih-t… ih-s… oh-kay. Fr-ehn-d.” She pointed to herself. The man cocked his head, but nodded. Tali opened her Omni-tool, pausing to give him some time to adjust. With a couple taps she linked her tool with his, bypassing security and uploading a quarian language set to the shaken man’s device.

“Can you hear me?” Keeping his gun on her, the man nodded again. “Good. Let’s try this again…” She said warmly. “…I’m Tali, what’s your name?”

“I’m… Daniel. You’re not… with them are you?” He gestured to the dead pirate.

“No. I’m here with a team of marines. We’ve come to rescue you.” She assured him. By now his pistol was down on the floor.

“Have you seen my wife?” Daniel pleaded. “She’s human too. Short, blonde hair?”

“I’m sorry, we haven’t seen anyone else. All the cells are empty on this deck.”

“Oh… well, she might be in the cargo bay! I overheard the bastards talking about moving people down there.”

“Why?” Tali asked.

“I don’t know. I only heard bits and pieces, but they were talking about exposing them to something.” Tali’s brows shot up.

“Exposing them? To what?”

“I don’t know. Sometimes… the pirates… they were talking crazy.” Daniel struggled to explain. “Look, please, you gotta find my wife. I haven’t seen her since we were captured!”

“We’ll find her, Daniel. I promise.” Tali gave him a confident nod. “For now, I need you to stay here and keep out of sight. We haven’t secured the ship yet and it’s too dangerous to take you with us. Can you wait here, please?”

“Yeah, sure…” Tali got up to leave, flicking her HUD and chin-light off again. “…Tali?” She turned at the doorway, looking back to him. “…Thank you.”

Sealing the door behind her, Tali was quickly confronted by a frustrated Prazza. “Who’s in there? You broke rules of engagement!”

“There’s a human prisoner in there.” Tali answered.

“Does he know where the pilgrims are?”

“No. But I know why we haven’t seen anyone else here. He told me the pirates took them to the cargo bay.”

“Keelah. Might be trying to use them as hostages.” Prazza said, frustrated. Quickly he radioed again. “OP-1, this is OP-2: Possible fix on the civilians in the cargo bay. The layout shows we’re closer. Request permission to investigate.”

“Copy OP-2. Careful in there, we’re still mopping up.”

“Alright…” He said, looking back at Tali. “…Let’s go check it out.”

The route to the cargo bay saw OP-2 through what must’ve been the remainder of the unaccounted for decks. The quarians moved with purpose, sweeping room after room with lethal accuracy. There were only a handful of pirates left, most barely getting more than a gasp out before being fed a burst of rifle rounds or a cloud of buckshot. Tali had no love for the batarians, her time with Shepard having certainly coloured her opinions on them. But if ever there were creatures that earned a cruel grin from her as she tore them apart with her shotgun besides the geth, it was slavers. Every time a door would hiss open, they’d barely have time to move. She’d blown one slaver’s arm clear from his body, pistol still in hand before vaporising his shocked face.

She could feel the other marines’ eyes on her. They’d probably heard the stories and assumed the little pilgrim girl had simply tagged along with a Spectre, the friendly mechanic who spent her time in the engine room. Whatever doubts they’d had were long gone now. She stalked the halls with the predatory gait of a seasoned commando; quick on the draw and deadly up close. One of the pirates had made the mistake of trying to jump her. Before Prazza or the other marine could react, Tali slipped from his grasp like an eel, the sharp blow from her elbow winding him. The batarian stumbled back, sucking in deep breaths before another powerful jab sent him stumbling into the wall. Falling on his ass, the last thing he saw was Tali’s two-toed foot lashing out, crushing the pirate’s skull like a melon. Her two comrades were speechless.

Tali could feel it, that burning, molten venom coursing through her veins. Ever since Shepard had told her about Mindoir, about losing his parents… and his sister to these monsters, she never held back on slavers. There was hatred there, caustic hatred. She didn’t say a word as she pressed forward, the others quickly returning to formation. The trio had finally cleared what was left of the hallway, turning their attentions to the door to the cargo bay. The younger marine moved to open it before Tali’s hand gripped his arm.

“Wait!” She hissed, causing the young man to freeze up. “It could be rigged to blow. Let me see if I can…” Her eyes checked around the area before she spotted it. “…Alright, I’ll send a drone into the vent and out into the bay. We’ll recon the room and get a look at the other side of the door.”

“Good idea.” Prazza nodded. “We didn’t come this far to be blown up.”

“Go Chatika.” Tali spoke to the little drone as it emerged from her pocket. “Lights out.” The drone beeped and the purple holograms vanished, leaving only the small, spherical core floating. In a moment it slipped through the vents and was gone.

“Chatika?” The young marine asked with an obvious smile on his face.

“What?” Tali retorted. She caught Prazza’s silent chuckle for just a second.

“That’s enough, Myrr’Jorin.” His voice was serious, if still hiding a giggle.

“Yes sir. Sorry ma’am.” Myrr’s apology had the engineer rolling her eyes.

Tali checked her Omni-tool. The small view-screen finally lit up with video from inside the cargo bay. The large, mostly empty room had a number of large cargo containers strewn about. What at first struck the group as the majority of smaller crates horrifically turned out to be pens… for people. There were still marks left behind on the floor from the horrid, soiled conditions. Tali’s expression hardened under her mask. Slowly the drone revealed more and more of the bay. They caught a good look at the opposite side of their door, seeing no evidence of booby traps. Finally the drone spotted what they were looking for, the three quarians nearly jumped out of their suits.

“Keelah, their alive!” Prazza said, relieved. The two pilgrims were huddled together on the floor near one side of the bay, along with an asari. They were sitting near… something, whatever it was had a tarp thrown over it. What they could make out however, were more guards. At least five batarians, armed but seemingly just standing around, as if the sounds of the battle outside hadn’t penetrated the room. Spying another access door on the opposite side, Prazza radioed Kal.

“OP-1, this is OP-2. We have eyes on the pilgrims. They appear to be unharmed. There’s another civilian with them, an asari. There are only five hostiles inside but they’re spread out through the bay. If you can get to the opposite door, we can hit them from both sides.”

“OP-1 here, copy. We’ve secured the bridge. Be there in one minute, out.”

“Alright, Kal’s squad is on their way. Tali, can you stream the pirate’s locations to our HUDs from the drone?”

“Sure, just a second.” She tapped at her Omni-tool and sure enough the outlines of both the batarians and the hostages shimmered into view through the door. “It looks like these two are the closest. Prazza, if you and Myrr can hit them, while Kal and his squad hit these two here, I can make a break for the last guard.”

“By yourself?”

“I’m faster than you two. I can get in close while he’s distracted and kill him before he gets a chance to harm the hostages.” Tali protested. Prazza huffed but considered the proposal. He’d certainly seen just how fast the engineer could move and her physical scores were excellent. If anyone could pull it off…

“Fine.” He relented. Just then OP-1 radioed in, they were ready. Prazza relayed Tali’s plan to Kal, who similarly took a moment to consider it. But when one of the guards made a move toward the prisoners, the decision was made.

In an instant both cargo bay doors opened at once. The two sets of guards stiffened to readiness just as they heard the clink of flash-bangs on the cold floor. The deafening pops and blinding light filled one side of the room, then the other. The controlled bursts of rifle-fire replaced the sudden explosions and three of the four pirates had barely the time to breathe before they were filled with bullets. One got behind cover just long enough to spot what looked like a black and purple blur speed past him, before the gun-barrel of a quarian marine peeked around the corner. Tali flew across the battlefield, ignoring the surviving guard. Her feet padded across the cold metal, perfectly placed to avoid every bit of debris as she charged the final batarian. A hulking figure, she’d already detected a boosted shield rig on him. She knew an overload would only alert him, giving him time to kill the hostages. She knew her shotgun would take at least three rounds to get through, so that was out. But she always came prepared.

The last pirate lumbered over to the small group of civilians with a shotgun in his hand. Ranting in an untranslated batarian dialect, he fumbled with the safety before levelling it at one of the pilgrims. But before the barrel could find its target, something slammed into him, sending him crashing into a nearby container. Confused and enraged, he brought his shotgun to bear on the new target, only to find it had slipped from his now limp hand. The sight of a deep stab wound in his wrist caused the pirate’s four beady eyes to widen. Quickly he searched for the attacker before he was slammed a second time. The assailant was a blur of jabs and knees, each one biting hard into his chest and stomach. By the time the creature came to a stop, there was a cold screaming pain in his neck. His still working hand rose to find the culprit, but all he felt was a gushing stream of hot blood splashing against his palm. He was already losing consciousness, his vision blurring as it caught the crimson-tinted shine of the attacker’s knife before slipping into blackness.

Tali’s whole body ached. Her hands and knees were bruised from the frenzied blows she’d landed on her heavily built opponent. Her thighs burned from what must’ve been the fastest she’d ever run. But all of that faded into the background. The last of the pirates was dead: Immediately the feeling of satisfaction in her gut vanished. She turned to the three innocent victims looking at her. She rushed over to them, the caring young woman returning.

“Are you okay? Are you hurt?” She asked gently, looking over the asari and the two young quarians. Thankfully the pilgrims’ suits were intact. Try as she might she couldn’t spot or scan a single breach even to the outer layer. By the time the rest of the squad had joined her she was looking over the asari. The woman was naked, a small rag crumpled up in her lap. Tali’s heart sank as she saw the bruises and lashes on her back. They were all at least a week old, but the poor girl had still suffered. Tali’s bright eyes flashed over to the dead guard slumped down by the container, unconsciously baring her sharp teeth. By now the team medic was looking them over, while Kal and Prazza took in the freshly mutilated pirate.

“This your handiwork?” Kal asked, not a hint of humour in his voice.

“He was heavily shielded, I couldn’t risk him killing the hostages.” Tali answered coldly. “Bosh’tet got off lightly.”

“Asshole deserved every inch of it.” Kal concurred. “So, how’re the kids looking?”

“They’re in shock, wouldn’t speak to me. But their suits are intact, no sign of breaches or…” Tali bit her lip. “…Forced entry.”

“Thank the ancestors. At least there’s some good news. Listen Tali, I need you to get up to the bridge and start going through their flight recorder. Now that the civvies are safe we need to know where these bastards have been.”

“Got it.” Tali gave him a nod before heading out.

“Tali?” She paused mid step. “Hell of a job you did today, you saved those kids’ lives.” She nodded but said nothing, her mind wandering again as she headed up to the bridge.

Chapter Text

Hacking through the “gold experience deluxe” security package the pirates had purchased was easy enough. Tali found herself once again wondering how anyone could trust code they didn’t write themselves. While the information was decrypting, she absent-mindedly drummed her fingers against the black box. Beating out a rhythm on the plastic container, she was soon humming along, enjoying the technical part of her job far more than the blood and guts. Minutes ticked by, and the tune changed from a quarian lullaby to a chorus from Shattered Mask’s latest album. Rocking her helmet back and forth, she let the memories of her sixteenth birthday fill the empty cockpit: Tickets with her friends to the Martilla, her hand on her hip when she waved her reservations in the face of a stodgy clerk. How she’d shrieked with glee when the band came out, filling every bulkhead with the screaming of guitars. She’d been surprised when she found out just how similar human rock music was to Shattered Mask, if nowhere near as good.

“Tali? You there?” Kal’s voice was in her ears, dragging her kicking and screaming back to the now.

“I’m here, the data’s downloaded but the decryption isn’t done yet.”

“Can you run it on the Omni-tool?”

“Of course I can. What do you-?”

“Good, cause I need you down here, now.” Tali jumped to her feet. With the data on her wrist, she flew back down to the cargo bay. What could’ve gotten Kal so upset? The whole mission had gone about as well as she could’ve imagined it going. They’d caught the slavers completely unawares, and the bastards had been no challenge for them. Tali felt a little uneasy as she rounded the corner and strode into the cargo bay. The three civilians had been moved near the far exit door with one of the marines, but the rest of the squad were crowding around… something. She made her way over to the group.

And then she saw it.

Tali’s blood froze in her veins. Her eyes took in every detail, desperate to find something out of place, a missing piece to make her mistaken. Some small shred of hope that… this wasn’t what she thought it was. The smooth silver skin covering the strange, flowing curves of the almost flower-like object sent a shiver down her spine. Even at a distance, energy pulsed within it, a sickening heartbeat betraying life in the singularly evil construct. Suddenly it all made sense. The strange malaise in the enemy troops, the empty holding cells. Daniel had been right all along; the pirates had been exposing them to something; the only thing that could’ve protected the slavers from the geth for so long. When Myrr’Jorin, the young marine who’d joined her and Prazza moved closer, the words came free.

“DON’T TOUCH IT!”

Tali’s yell filled the cargo bay, freezing Myrr in place. The whole squad turned to her, blissfully unaware of what they were so close to. Kal walked over to her, he could see the young engineer had no intention of getting any closer.

“Everything alright? We thought this thing looked strange but-”

“We need to leave!” Tali interrupted him. “Right now!”

“Leave?” Prazza piped up from behind. “The ship’s secure sir. The civilians are okay, once we pick up the human in the cells we can secure this geth thing for transport.”

“It’s not geth technology.” Tali corrected him. Prazza looked back at the thing.

“What are you talking about? Look at it. Weird shape, glowing bits, looks like the geth to me.”

“Kal.” Tali leaned in close, looking him in the eye. “We can’t take it with us.”

“What is it?” Kal asked her, concern creeping into his voice. Tali’s eyes darted to Prazza for a second. “Lieutenant, give the specialist and me a minute would you. Grab a couple guys and pick the human up from the holding cells.”

“Yes, sir.” Prazza answered, clearly sensing he was being chased off. Soon he and two other marines headed out, the rest now keeping their distance from the new discovery.

“All right Tali. It’s just you and me now. Tell me, what the hell is this thing?”

Tali stole a look past his shoulders, her teeth on edge. “It’s…” Her eyes met his again.

“It’s a Reaper artefact.”

There was fear dripping from every word. At first Kal’Reegar seemed confused. He glanced back over his shoulder and really studied the object. When he looked back at her, he could see the terror building. He’d only heard stories and anecdotes about the Reapers, filed away as a “highly unlikely” threat to fleet security. But he could see it in Tali’s eyes; she was being dead serious.

“Keelah.” He said to himself. “Alright, well. Maybe we should bring it back then, to study it? The admiralty will want any advantage they can get if those… things really do show up.”

“No.” Tali said firmly. “Kal, you don’t understand. When I was… working with Shepard, we found a derelict ship near geth space: The crew had flown it into their territory after picking up an object they found on an asteroid. Their logs turned to gibberish, we didn’t realise it then, but they must’ve found a Reaper artefact.”

“I don’t understand…”

She took a breath, trying to explain. “The Reapers have the ability to… control minds.”

“That’s, I mean come on-”

“Kal. I’ve seen it. It’s real…” She glanced over to it again. “…And every minute we’re here, the same thing is happening to us. If we bring it to the fleet, whoever’s near it will be indoctrinated. Scientists, captains… admirals.” Tali buried the thought before it could stick in her mind. “We need to leave Kal, and destroy the ship when we’re gone.”

Kal’Reegar grew quiet. He brought his hand to the chin of his helmet, taking in the bombshell his new friend had dropped on him. Any arguments he might’ve had about how pissed her father would be seemed to dissipate in light of the threat. If nothing else, the safety of the fleet couldn’t be compromised by anything, even advanced technology. He had his doubts about the Reapers, but he could see it in Tali’s eyes, she did not.

“Alright.” Kal relented. “We’ll bug out and blow the ship. You’re the expert, and if you say this thing’s dangerous, then it’s dangerous.” Tali released a long-held breath.

“Thank you Kal. You don’t know how many lives you’ve just saved.”

“Yeah well, I’ll probably get my ass chewed out for it. So I hope you’re right.” Kal ribbed.

“Alright everyone! Enough gawking. The specialist says the thing’s dangerous, so we’re leaving it and destroying the ship!” There were some indistinct murmurs and glances Tali’s way, but they quickly subsided.

“Works for me.” One of the marines said. “Damn thing would be a pain to fit in the shuttle anyway.”

Tali was grateful to leave the cargo bay, briskly marching back toward the shuttle with the civilians in tow: The two pilgrims were at the back of the group, neither had said a word. The asari had similarly remained silent, with only Daniel breaking the quiet as he strode up beside her.

“You… didn’t find Trish, did you?” Tali’s heart ached at the loss in his voice.

“I’m sorry, Daniel. We looked all over the ship, these were the only people left.” She weakly gestured toward the aliens behind him. He gave a slow nod.

“Well, at least you found your… friends, right?” He asked with forced cheer, pointing to the pilgrims.

“Yeah. But, I’m worried about them.” Tali said, more to herself than the human. “You were right, the pirates have been exposing people to something. Keelah.”

“What was it?” He asked sheepishly. Tali winced.

“It’s… hard to explain. But it’s a bad thing, a very bad thing.”

Before Daniel could reply the hallway suddenly filled with screams. The asari had doubled over on the floor, letting out an ear-splitting shriek. Tali grit her teeth as her helmet adjusted the sound levels, the rest of the squad turning back in surprise. She looked up to see one of the pilgrims tackle the trailing marine to the ground. The two of them were wrestling for something. Tali moved to assist the marine when the asari flashed with biotic light, throwing both her and Daniel back. By the time she recovered the other pilgrim ran past them, before stumbling and falling. Tali took a second to gather herself, but when she looked back at the pilgrim fighting the marine, she saw him lift a small disk into the air. Her eyes went wide.

“Get down!” Tali yelled out as she pulled Daniel and the other pilgrim tight to her body. The grenade exploded, sending a ball of fire and shrapnel out in all directions. The screaming asari was killed instantly, and Tali could feel the heat from the blast. Tiny fragments of metal pinged against her kinetic barrier; thankfully she’d pulled the two civilians close enough to envelop them as well. Her relief turned to horror as the roar of rushing air filled her ears. With the others in her arms she didn’t have time to grab hold as the three of them were sucked out through a gaping hole in the hull. For a few moments, Tali could only hear her own panicked breaths. She clung blindly to the civilians while she tried to focus. But just as her mind came back to her, she was hit with another realisation.

Daniel! He didn’t have a suit!

Her guts twisted. She watched helplessly as the human man’s face contorted in terror, his rapidly boiling eyes taking in the vacuum around him. Soon the foggy breath stopped pouring from his mouth and he went completely still. Supressing the urge to vomit, Tali gingerly let him go, turning her attention to the pilgrim still in her grasp: A girl, probably no older than she was on her pilgrimage. Her bright eyes wide with fear as she watched the human’s skin begin to redden in the sunlight and the liquid in his eyes bubble.

“Hey! Look at me!” Tali pressed her helmet to the pilgrim’s, letting her voice travel between them. The girl’s eyes darted back to her. “Keep your eyes on me, we’re going to be okay.”

Tali quickly looked over the pilgrim, before checking herself for any punctures. They’d gotten lucky. Next she called out over the radio. “OP-1, this is Tali’Zorah. I’ve got one of the pilgrims with me but we were sucked into space. We’re drifting!” A few tense seconds went by before the radio crackled to life.

“Tali? Keelah, you’re alive. Can you ping your Omni-tool, we’re in the shuttle and ready to come get you.” Kal’Reegar’s voice was music to her ears.

“Kal! Yeah, just give me a second.” She looked back at the pilgrim. “I need my arms for a moment, okay? Just hold on to me.” She guided the girl’s arms down around her waist; she could feel the girl shivering as she clung on. Quickly tapping her Omni-tool, Tali set the device to relay her position before bringing the pilgrim back up again. The entire ordeal had only been worsened by the constant spinning. A slight bump as they’d exited was all it took. Thankfully with dozens of hours on spacewalks under her belt, even an emergency like this didn’t panic her. Tali knew they’d only be maybe a hundred meters from the ship. The pilgrim however, clung to her for dear life; her eyes squeezed shut.

Tali comforted her as best she could, hugging the girl tight and promising her it’d be okay. After a long ten minutes the spotlight from the shuttle glared over them. Slowly, the engineer pushed the girl to arm’s length, reaching out as the small ship carefully approached. Counting the rotations, five, four, three, two, one, and the handle of the airlock collided with her palm. She gripped it tightly, flung a little by her and the pilgrim’s remaining momentum. Pulling the girl back to her side, they both made it into the shuttle, shaken up but alive.

The door closed with a hiss, air being re-pumped into the small cabin again as a forest of helping hands descended to pick them up. Soon Tali was on her feet, face to face with an astonished Kal’Reegar.

“I’ll be damned by the Ancestors…” He said, stunned. “When I saw the explosion, I thought we’d lost you.”

“I’m okay, Kal.” Tali panted. She hadn’t realised just how much she’d strained to hold on before the rescue. “My barriers took the hit, I was able to get the girl under my arm before the decompression pulled us out.” She looked over at the pilgrim, a sliver of warmth in her heart. “I didn’t realise… Daniel… the human, he didn’t make it.” She could feel a pit in her stomach, the sight of his face fresh in her mind.

“There’s nothing you could’ve done for him.” Kal put a hand on her shoulder. “Hell if not for you we’d have lost the girl too. You saved her life, Tali.”

“Thanks Kal.” Was all she could muster. After a round of cheers and pats on the back, everyone settled back into their chairs as the shuttle headed back to the Nualli. Despite the warm welcome, almost no one spoke on the return trip. Only when the shuttle was resting in the cargo bay did Kal’Reegar break the silence.

“Meeko? There’s a hazardous object aboard the frigate. Put a round through the eezo core and atomise that sucker.”

“Copy that. Round away.” The confident woman was there and gone, the ship buzzed again before jerking from the recoil. Up on the bridge, Meeko watched with a satisfied grin as the ugly batarian hack-job vanished in a brilliant flash. Back down in the cargo bay, everyone was filing out. Tali noticed the team medic, another woman, attending the pilgrim girl. She was offering the girl a drink when Tali pulled her aside.

“That was incredible work, Zorah. You’ve made some parents back home the luckiest quarians alive.” The medic’s compliment seemed to glance off her.

“I appreciate it, but listen. You need to sedate the girl, the whole trip back.” Tali’s instruction dissipated whatever veneer of respect the medic had for her.

“Ma’am, I’m the medical professional aboard. I don’t see any reason to knock the poor girl out. She just-”

“Listen to me!” Tali hissed, just quiet enough for her to hear. “That thing you were standing near, in the cargo bay? It affects the brain. The process is insidious, and a major sign is an inability to talk.” She stole a look at the pilgrim. “She hasn’t said a word since we found her. The effect can manifest as violence, unprovoked and without warning. If you keep her conscious, you’re endangering everyone on this ship.”

Her dressing down left the medic speechless. Yet, somehow it seemed to do the trick. The medic acquiesced, saying she’d speak with the commander first. That was enough for Tali. Making her way up the stairs towards the crew deck, she slipped through the familiar cramped confines of the stealth ship until she was back on the bridge, where she saw both Prazza and Kal, receiving a chewing out from… She let out a frustrated sigh.

Her father.

Chapter Text

“What the hell do you mean you destroyed the ship?” Rael thundered.

“The mission parameters changed, sir.” Kal responded calmly. “We discovered a threat on board that could’ve endangered the fleet. The only way to eliminate it was to destroy the ship.”

“What could possibly have threatened the fleet, commander? A pathogen? Something radiological? We could’ve decontaminated the ship. Instead now we gain nothing!”

“No sir. We discovered hostile technology aboard, too dangerous to be left intact.” Kal’s answer gave the admiral pause.

“So, let me get this straight commander. Not only did you destroy a salvageable ship, something we desperately need, but you also destroyed valuable geth technology? Do I have that right?”

“Not exactly sir. The object we found wasn’t geth.”

“I wasn’t aware of your technical expertise, commander.” Rael’s voice was sharp now.

“None to speak of, sir. I acted on advice from specialist Zorah. She confirmed the technology wasn’t geth.”

“Really. So, what was it then?”

“Reaper technology, sir.”

Rael’s gaze buried deep into the gruff marine. The temperature on the bridge plummeted.

“Are you joking, commander? The Reapers are a myth.” The admiral paused, the hologram running a gloved hand across his faceplate.

“You destroyed valuable geth technology, not to mention a ship, to indulge my daughter’s fantasies?”

Tali bristled. It took all her self-control not to burst into the conversation. She stood there, simmering with anger. How could he? After all the time she’d taken explaining it to him. She was a technical woman, detail driven! She’d spent hours going through every detail with her father about Sovereign. Whatever fantasies she did have in her life, she’d certainly never divulged them to him. Her father was meant to be a scientist! He’d just dismissed all of what she’d told him, and that smouldering pit in her gut knew exactly why…

“She‘s the mission specialist, sir. I treat her opinions on the geth and other technology as expert. She said it was dangerous, so I destroyed it.” Kal’s brave defence of her was just what Tali needed to hear, it was nice to have someone in her corner. It’d been forever since anyone had been brave enough.

“Right…” Rael made no attempts to hide his frustration. “Well, I suppose there’s nothing to be done about it now. What about the pilgrims, did you find them?”

“Yes sir. Unfortunately there was an explosion as we were leaving. One of them didn’t survive.”

“Damn it!” Rael spat the words out. “And the other?”

“She’s safe, sir. If it hadn’t been for specialist Zorah’s quick thinking, she’d be dead too. Zorah was near the blast, she protected the pilgrim with her barrier and kept her safe after they were pulled into space.” Rael stiffened up, his whole posture shifting.

“I… see. She’s okay, then?”

“Yes sir, the pilgrim’s unharmed.”

“No, I mean… my daughter Kal, she’s alright?”

“Yes sir.”

“…Good.” Rael relaxed his shoulders. “I’ll be expecting a full report within the next solar day. We’ll discuss your liberal interpretation of expertise when you return. Zorah out.”

Rael’Zorah’s holographic form flickered and vanished from the bridge, leaving the two officers to lean back against the wall with a sigh. Meeko, for her part, barely noticed the whole thing. Tali stood in the doorway, unsure of what to say. Whatever her intentions had been coming up to see Kal had all but vanished in the face of seeing him suffer for her decision. Before she could do anything Prazza noticed her, his glance bringing Kal’s attention as well.

“I’m… sorry about that.” Tali started, embarrassed.

“I think your old man’s going soft, ma’am.” Kal reassured her. “That didn’t even crack my top ten reprimands.” Tali relaxed a little, but Prazza’s frustration didn’t escape her notice. While Kal seemed unfazed by the whole thing, it was clear Rael’s anger was bothering the lieutenant.

“I’ll go check on the shuttle.” Prazza said, before leaving with a nod from Kal. Tali caught his icy glance for only a second as he brushed past her. Now it was only the two of them, plus Meeko.

“Damn fine shooting.” Kal praised the pilot, slapping a gloved hand on her shoulder.

“My pleasure. Got sick of staring at the ugly thing anyway.” Meeko returned the gesture with a nod. “Hey Tali! This is a fine little ship you built.”

“Thank you Meeko.” The engineer took the compliment bashfully. Despite the frigid appearance of her father, the banter put her at ease. Kal pulled away from the pilot’s seat and moved over to her.

“Any luck with the flight recorder?” He asked.

“It’s still decrypting. The security is sub-par, but there’s a lot of data to filter through. Don’t worry, it should be done in a few hours.”

“Sounds good. Hopefully we’ll get some useful nav data out of it. Maybe make the admirals happy for a change.” Kal said with a shrug.

“…I really am sorry, about my father.” Tali laced her fingers together, looking down at them.

“Hey.” Kal rested a hand on her shoulder, bringing her attention back to him. “You made the right call out there. Doesn’t matter what the admirals say, we couldn’t have pulled this off without you.”

“Thanks Kal.” Tali smiled through her mask. He gave a warm nod. “…I should, get down to engineering. Make sure we’re all set for the trip home.”

“Sure thing, let me know when you’ve got something from the flight recorder?”

“I will.”

With that, Tali left the bridge. She weaved her way down the crew section of the main deck, getting compliments and respectful nods from the marines she passed. She slowed for a moment, looking in on the pilgrim girl, sat down in the makeshift infirmary. The medic was looking her over; Tali couldn’t make out what she was saying. The pilgrim stayed quiet, looking down at her hands. Suddenly her eyes met Tali’s, the two watched each other for a moment. Despite everything that had happened, the engineer felt relieved. At least they’d saved this girl, spared her the horror of dying in some cage. Tali gave the girl a nod before heading down toward engineering.

Tali settled into her workstation, swapping some words with her young understudy, Hal. Everything was normal; the numbers were solid. After her time aboard the pirate ship, she was happy to take over, sending the boy off for some downtime. He gave her a salute, then scurried out of the room. Tali couldn’t help a smile. Despite his young age, Hal was brilliant with engines. She’d been initially surprised when the admiralty assigned him to work on the Nualli. He was only a kid, pre-pilgrimage. But after a few days of orientation, any fears she’d had of babysitting were quickly dispelled. Hal was polite and attentive; always willing to squeeze down into the spots even Tali had trouble getting to. She’d relished not having to double-check his work, quickly learning to love the help that comes with an assistant. He’d been her right hand throughout the Nualli’s construction. Born on the Neema, the boy had also been very helpful in getting Tali adjusted to her new home. Whether it was showing her the quickest routes through the foot-traffic of the crew deck or talking tech for hours, the bright-eyed kid had been one of the few things keeping her grounded.

Of course, a boy his age, working closely with a grown woman… Tali had noticed him staring at her more than once. It was flattering, really. She knew first hand what it was like to be star-struck by a mentor. He flew about the engine room whenever they were together, always ready with whatever tools she needed. He studied hard, memorising almost as much as she could. Much to Tali’s frustration, young Hal had also developed the bad habit of bringing her tea when she was hours into a shift. She’d be leaned against her terminal, batting limply at holograms when suddenly the hurried pattering of feet would come up behind her. She’d turn around to see him standing there, drink in hand for her. He was a thoughtful kid, and once Tali had sipped down a mouthful of warm tea, she couldn’t begrudge him another long conversation. Hell, she figured his little trick must’ve gotten an entire engineering course out of her just from their chats alone.

It was only a couple of months until Hal’s pilgrimage. She’d have to get him something nice for the trip. He was such a good kid, she hoped he’d come back with that same glint in his eye that he always had. Tali’s smile faded, a pit forming in her stomach. She worried about him, what might happen out there. Even though she couldn’t feel it anymore, there was still a small scar on her arm from where she’d been shot. A near perfect memory had its downsides. Tali could still remember the drumming of her heartbeat, the feeling of cold station air against her bare skin, and the hot slippery sensation of blood drooling down into her suit. Limping through an uncaring thoroughfare with only indifferent glances from the aliens around her. She didn’t want that for Hal. He was a kind boy, someone who deserved to see the good in this galaxy. To see that there were decent people out there, who wouldn’t judge him for his species.

Tali ran her eyes across the core readings, letting out a sigh. She’d thought about talking to him, sitting him down and planning things out: Where to go and what to avoid. If she wasn’t careful there was a very good chance Hal would be saddled with a checklist in the thousands. Even if she did account for everything, there was always the chance things would go wrong. She knew better than anyone just how quickly things could change out there. Ultimately the only way Hal would get through his pilgrimage would be how everyone else got through it: Self-reliance, prudence and a little luck. Still, something maternal in her wanted to help him, at least give some sage advice. She tinkered with core charge levels and thruster output while she mulled the idea over. A part of her felt the whole idea was stupid. What did she know about a regular pilgrimage? If anything she could at least be sure the boy’s first outing into the galaxy would be nothing like hers had been. No fighting geth and mercs every other day, no suicide missions against ancient monsters. No, he’d have a normal, uneventful pilgrimage.

She opened her Omni-tool and swiped through to her bank account. Tali had never been a big fan of banks or the volus who ran them, but credits did make everything easier. Most of her money was gone now, spent buying parts for her creation. Nearly a million credits spent upgrading everything from navigation to heat control. She still had about fifty thousand credits left, a fraction of what her, Garrus and Liara had received after… she pushed the thought away. Flicking through several Citadel retailers, the young woman kept an eye out for any decent tech modules, something standardised that Hal could tinker on while out in the galaxy. She searched for lifetime travel passes and star charts, then small concealable pistols. Tali bookmarked a few things, telling herself she’d revisit them later. Mostly it was just something to keep her occupied.

Finally deciding she’d done enough shopping, the engineer flicked the tabs away. Meeko’s voice came in over the loudspeaker, announcing the Relay jump. Tali hadn’t noticed the time go by. Fastening a hand to the railing, she closed her eyes and enjoyed that subtle lightness in her belly as the ship flew into the Relay’s mass effect field. There was a tingle in the air, as if something important was about to happen. The tension wound tighter and tighter until the Nualli was flung hundreds of light years across the Milky Way in the blink of an eye. The violent thrash of acceleration and stopping dead never came of course, instead the tingling dissipated and everything was normal. As usual the drive core balked at the physics bending transfer, angrily pushing a dozen little readouts up above their usual position before letting them fall back down again. Tali watched the readings closely: Confident as she was in her ship, Relay transfers could always nudge one system or other too far. Content nothing was off, she leaned against the wall, checking her Omni-tool for progress on the flight recorder. Still a couple of hours, probably best just to stick it out. She fiddled with the program, optimising things here and there. The task she’d written for it was automated, and no amount of tweaking would stop the necessity of at least another hour of number crunching.

Swiping through her Omni-tool, eventually the quarian settled on her media files. She looked through some of her recent photos, most of them centred on the very room she was in. Some were either of her or Hal waist deep in the ship, legs sticking out as they worked on an uncooperative cable or busted fitting. Others were from spacewalks, catching a shot of the flotilla in close formation. She remembered thinking they looked like an enormous school of fish, all gathered up together. A strange image for a woman who’d never even dipped a toe in an ocean. Tali giggled when the image of a terrified Hal came up, dangling on a safety cable out from the ship. He’d forgotten to service his mag-boots despite her constant reminding, so she’d been happy to let the little idiot float around for a bit before reeling him back in.

A favourite of hers came up in the collection: The Heavy Fleet had been parked in orbit over a brilliant blue gas giant, close enough to bleed off static charge. The two engineers had been working EVA when Tali called for a break. For a while the two of them stood there, taking in the enormous swirling clouds, pulled into bands by hurricane force winds. All the way from deep indigo to bright electric blue, the colours swirled around and into each other. It was like a planet-sized painting. Hal in particular had been mesmerised by it. With some sneaky camerawork, Tali had managed to catch the boy’s eyes shining bright as he took in the incredible vista.

Caught up in the fuzzy feelings of the moment, the young woman accidently brushed the tool’s shuffle feature. When she swiped to the next image, she froze up.

It was her… from before.

She remembered everything about that day, her first day aboard the Normandy. How giddy she’d been when Adams had led her down to engineering. Her eyes wide as she took in the utter majesty of the Tantalus drive core, humming in perfect rhythm before her. She marvelled at just how new everything was aboard the incredible Alliance vessel. After years aboard beat up old ships, it was a whole new world. Listening to Adams explain even the basics of the stealth systems was like being taught magic. With every technical thing he explained, the more her curiosity grew. Tali’s questions came hard and fast, and soon she’d just about spent the poor human for information. Her mind had been buzzing with so many new ideas she didn’t even notice Adams talking to someone else.

But when Shepard’s hand brushed her shoulder, she couldn’t keep it all in. She’d showered him in a mix of awed realisations and deep gratitude for letting her join. Hearing his warm voice welcome her aboard, feeling his hand shake hers and seeing in his eyes not a shred of prejudice or mistrust. It was like a dream. Before he left, the young pilgrim blurted out a request. All she wanted was a picture with him, the two of them together as crewmates, in front of the magical drive core. She’d felt his laughter reverberate through her as he tasked Adams as photographer. Then, there they’d stood, shoulder-to-shoulder as they smiled for the camera. Despite the mask, Tali had beamed the biggest grin she could.

She hadn’t noticed she was trembling until a voice shook her back to reality.

“Tali? Are you okay?” Hal was looking at her, concerned. Nestled between his gloved hands was a sealed mug of tea.

The image disappeared. She let out a breath she hadn’t remembered holding.

“Yeah Hal, I’m okay.” She answered calmly, taking the mug from him. He watched carefully as she took a grateful sip, enjoying the rich flavour and warmth in her belly. She settled, at least as best she could. “Just tired, that’s all.”

“You looked upset when I came in.” Hal’s astute observation frustrated her. He was far too smart for his own good.

“Just… looking through some old pictures.” She clarified, doing her best to put him at ease. “Scrolled past a favourite, of you hanging from the safety wire.”

“Keelah, don’t remind me.” Hal laughed nervously. “If not for you I’d probably be drifting through space somewhere.”

“Don’t worry about it.” Tali chuckled. “We’ve all done it before. You’ve gotten much better at spacewalks.” She assured him, patting him on the shoulder.

“T-thanks, Tali.” Hal’s answer had a tinge of nervousness. “Anyways, I came down to relieve you, your shift’s over.”

“What? Hal, I’ve only been working a couple hours.”

“I know, but Commander Reegar sent me, he wants you to get some rest.”

“Of course he does.” Tali sighed. She could feel her body aching, straining to keep alert. Some bunk time definitely was appealing, but Hal had been back here the whole mission. She didn’t want him covering her shift as well. “Hal, you can tell the commander…”

“I don’t mind Tali. He told me what you did on the pirate ship. I think anyone would be exhausted after doing all that!” The kid’s chipper tone did little to alleviate the guilt. She looked down at her Omni-tool, still another hour until the decryption was done. Suddenly bunk time seemed very appealing.

“Fine.” Tali relented, holding up a hand in defeat. “But! If you need help with anything, come get me okay?” Her tone was firm.

“I promise!” Hal answered with a salute. Tali rolled her eyes as she gave the kid another friendly pat on the shoulder. He diligently took over her station while the young woman had a final stretch. Heading off toward the bunkroom, she flashed her gaze back into the engine room without warning. Hal shot his eyes back to the terminal, almost before he’d been caught. Tali shook her head.

The cheeky little bosh’tet…

Chapter Text

Despite everything that had happened, the mood in Flux was upbeat and bouncy. Tali supposed that surviving a Reaper attack had overshadowed the destruction that the monster had wrought. The thought dampened her spirits a little. She’d watched the news from her hospital bed, chaos in the wards, hundreds dead or missing. All the brave ships that went down fighting Sovereign must’ve had hundreds of crewmembers each. So many lives lost to stop the invasion. But in the end, they’d done it! That victory was what she felt in the electric rhythms and beats. She loved seeing people dancing, even the little volus who ran the club was out on the floor, wiggling around. Almost everyone had shown up for the party, some of the crew had elected to take their shore leave elsewhere. But Joker was there, nestled in a chair retelling the battle to an enrapt asari. Dr Chakwas and engineer Adams had been chatting ever since they arrived, drinking and enjoying the music. Kaiden and Liara had slunk off to a secluded spot on the far side of the bar, somewhere quieter where the lieutenant could avoid a migraine. It was nice seeing the two of them together. Ever since losing her mother on Noveria, Liara and Kaiden had grown closer. She was glad her asari friend had somebody she could turn to.

Naturally, Garrus and Wrex were dominating the main table. Seated across from one another in the middle of an argument, the frustrated turian was swapping war stories with his thousand-year-old friend. Wrex enjoyed the competition, calmly swatting down his opponent’s accounts with equally ridiculous tales of his own. The more free drinks the two of them had, the louder and dumber the anecdotes became, culminating in the grizzled krogan proudly declaring victory after recounting how he’d brought down a thresher maw on foot, by himself. Garrus snorted in disbelief, but had reached the end of his tolerance for battle. He had another drink while the rumbling sound of krogan laughter filled the club.

Tali shook her head, taking another sip of turian brandy. Despite the mark-up for sterile liquor, being a saviour of the Citadel meant she wouldn’t be paying a single credit all night. Trotting around to the beat, the young quarian’s eyes scanned along the tables, looking past dancers and crewmates for the man himself. Finally she spotted Shepard, sitting near the window and talking with the newly appointed councillor Anderson. She’d only met the older human a couple of times, but Shepard had talked about him often. He was a good man, a soldier of impressive rank and experience. He’d been a mentor to the commander, someone who had kept an eye on him throughout the years. Often times Shepard would be quick to attribute every skill he had to his former captain, she’d never seen him talk so highly of anyone like he did Anderson. Tali understood perfectly, without mentors like aunty Raan in her life, she was sure she’d never have become the capable pilgrim she was. Even Father, for all the distance between them, had been at least a great teacher. The young quarian knew that humans weren’t quite as close as her people were, but seeing the two men sitting together, completely involved in their conversation, it made her heart glow. She made her way over to them when Shepard spotted her, a smile on his face.

“Tali! Come sit down, I was just gonna grab another round.” Shepard’s invitation was met by the bouncy quarian hopping into the available seat between the two men. “You want a drink?” He offered.

“No, I’m fine!” Tali answered over the music, swirling the half-full capsule of brandy with its straw sticking out.

Shepard chuckled to himself before making his way to the bar. For a moment Tali and Anderson sat alone, not quite sure how to start a conversation.

Eventually Tali figured her approach. “Congratulations, councillor.” She started reverently. “I think Shepard made the right decision.”

“Please Miss Zorah, call me David.” The older human pleaded. “I’m not a councillor until tomorrow, and I intend to savour every minute of it.”

“Okay, but only if you call me Tali.” The quarian retorted.

“Hah! You’ve got a deal.” Anderson’s laugh was gravelly with age, but warm like Shepard’s. He showed no signs of unease around her; the same inviting look in his eyes that she loved in her commander’s. “So Tali, you’re looking a lot better. I remember you and your turian friend were pretty beat up when we found you in the tower.”

“I’m feeling okay now. We spent some time in the hospital, but neither of us had serious injuries.”

“That’s good to hear.” Anderson took a swig of his beer while Tali reconnected the straw to her mask. “Must’ve been a hell of a thing, seeing Sovereign up close like that.”

“Terrifying!” Tali answered between sips.

“You’re a brave woman.” Anderson’s compliment warmed her. “Shepard told me about Ilos. How you and Garrus were the first to volunteer for the mission. He’s lucky to have the two of you.”

“No…” Tali fidgeted in her seat, a little embarrassed. She looked over to Shepard, still standing by the bar, chatting with one of the humans there. “…I’m the lucky one.”

She turned back to the table, about to have another sip when she caught Anderson looking at her. His expression was unreadable at first, until she realised what she’d said. “That is, I mean. We’re the lucky ones, me and Garrus.”

“Of course.” The old human agreed, an ever so slight grin on his lined features.

Keelah…

By now Shepard had returned with drinks in hand. Despite her slip-up, the three of them returned to chatting with ease. Tali quickly found out just how much she liked the new councillor; he was informal and friendly, with a knack for subtly directing the conversation between the three of them. Whenever the young quarian had an anecdote of her own to share, Anderson had some supernatural way of sensing it, asking a mundane question to her that would bring forth the story. When she had Shepard’s attention, Anderson would grow quiet, letting the two friends laugh and banter. But what she liked most was the old human’s many stories about Shepard’s younger days. Seeing her invincible commander bury his face in his hands when Anderson recounted a training blunder or social faux pas tickled her immensely. Of course she was always ready to come to his rescue, matching Shepard screw-up for screw-up. She shared stories that night she hadn’t thought about in years, enjoying every minute of it. Soon, her brandy capsule was empty and the thumping music was calling her. She wanted to dance, and she wanted to do it with Shepard.

“Another round?” The commander was up from his seat, about to head for the bar.

“Shepard?” Anderson’s amused tone caught his attention. “I haven’t seen you out there on the dance floor yet?” The old human gave him a wry smile.

“Is that an invitation, Anderson?” Shepard shot back with a grin.

“Not after what I’ve had to drink. Besides, I could use a break from all your stories. Frankly I’m getting a little jealous.” Anderson glanced over at Tali. “Why don’t you take your friend here?”

Both Shepard and Tali were silent for a moment. There was a distinct feeling that the two of them had been slowly led into a trap. Their eyes met and the young quarian felt a flash of embarrassment. Any other time, she would’ve played it off, found some excuse to exit the situation. But her intelligent, socially adept mind was currently marinating in turian brandy, and the thought of dancing with her commander overpowered her caution.

“I’d like that!” She announced. “Would you dance with me, Shepard?” Her chirpy request seemed to get an equal flash out of her friend. He didn’t answer at first, though his skin turned a strange colour.

“C’mon Shepard. You’re not gonna refuse the lady a dance, are you?” Anderson’s paternal ribbing sliced clean through the commander’s apprehension.

“I wouldn’t dream of it.” He answered confidently, making a show of beckoning the young quarian to follow him. Tali almost leapt out of her chair, giddily following Shepard to the dance floor. The closer the pair got, the more the beat began to pulse in the air. Having danced all her life, the engineer couldn’t help herself. She bounced on her toes as they passed by the main table, Garrus’ plated features looking on in disbelief. If there were laughs or comments, she couldn’t hear them. Soon her feet were on the reflective tiling as lights and lasers flashed around the room, bathing the club-goers in vibrant colours. Already amped up, Tali cut loose first. She felt the rhythm in her toes, and in moments she was moving. Bouncing and swaying, twirling her arms as she felt the bass in that tiny void between her skin and her suit. Shepard looked on, maybe for a moment too long, before he joined in. Tali had always tended to close her eyes when she danced, letting the sounds fill her ears and the vibrations buzz through her body. But she kept them open this time; she wanted to take in every wonderful second of Shepard’s dancing.

Sure, it wasn’t great dancing. It was simple and rigid… and a little funny. But the human kept to the beat well enough, and he looked like he was having fun. Her shining eyes looked down at his legs, straight as a pair of twigs, with tiny underdeveloped ankles. They bent well enough at the knees, but it wasn’t fair to expect the range of movement her digitigrade legs afforded. While he wasn’t looking, Tali greedily took in his alien features. When his eyes were on her again, she met his gaze with a smile. She shook and rolled her hips, her heart racing to the beat as she caught Shepard staring at her again. The two of them were close now, lost in the heat and the sound and the sheer movement all around them. She teased the human, turning on her toes as she followed the rhythm, giving her commander ample time to appreciate her form. Then he was back in her view again, his expression was a hunger any species could understand.

She loved every second of it...

The music slurred into a single repeating tone, the vibrant colours and pulsing lights dimmed and faded. Bliss, melting away. Tali woke up feeling sore, she’d rolled on her side at some point and the simple bunkroom pillows weren’t enough to compensate. With some effort, she was on her back again, eyes adjusting to the low light. Her helmet’s audio processors gently tuned the ambient sounds of the room in; the familiar snores of the crew echoed softly all around her. Her heads up display was minimal, but a single notification flashed annoyingly in the corner of her vision. Groggy and aroused, the young woman let out a frustrated sigh into her visor, breath collecting on the glass before being dissipated. She stared up at the bunk above her, processing. Sixteen months and she could count the nights she was spared from bad dreams on one hand. Then tonight she’d even been blessed with a treasured memory: Something happy and exciting, tickling her brain with a precious moment of euphoria.

Now it was gone, that girl was gone. Lying sore in her bed, the woman was waking to the realisation that even the good memories would hurt.

Reaching behind her head, Tali pulled her hood back over her helmet before propping herself up on her elbows. She scanned the room; everyone was asleep. She rolled on her side, facing the wall as she accessed her Omni-tool. The orange holographic gauntlet glowed at minimal brightness. Selecting the notification, the pulsing mercifully left her periphery. The decryption process was finished. Reluctant to go back to sleep, Tali decided to sate her curiosity. Opening the file, the engineer began to sift through the flight recorder’s data. Most of it was astro-graphic information, typical cataloguing of stars and planets the pirate frigate passed. From what she could see, they’d spent significant time in the Terminus Systems, loitering around Omega before heading out to prey on the remote colonies. Once or twice they’d returned through the Attican Traverse, on their way to the Kite’s Nest. Just a few months ago the pirates had visited Kar’Shan, the batarian homeworld. Tali’s lips curled, of course the bastards worked for the Hegemony. Criminals stealing and selling people was awful enough, but an entire civilisation aiding them? How many people had their lives destroyed with the backing of the batarian government?

As angry as it made her, Tali let it go. This wasn’t the time. She skimmed through the flight path, going past months of reliable patterns here and there in the Terminus. Then, nearly a month ago, something changed. The pirate’s had stopped in a remote system in the Rosetta Nebula, an out of the way star. They lingered in the system’s asteroid belt, maybe a stash location? The young quarian accessed the ship’s sensor and camera recordings. External cameras showed them approaching a large asteroid, touching down on it for nearly two days. She watched as teams of the pirates left the frigate, going back and forth from the ship while lugging digging equipment. Tali felt a knot in her stomach as it began to dawn on her. Sure enough, just hours before departure, the batarians brought the Reaper artefact aboard, storing it in the cargo bay and examining it.

For a few days, things seemed normal. The pirates returned to their hunting grounds, about to make another stop on Omega when suddenly they changed course. Flicking back to the cameras, she looked on as the pirates stood huddled around the artefact. It must have been the whole crew. The footage had no audio, but the high definition showed them… talking to it. Soon just one of the pirates, the large one she’d fought in the cargo bay remained by the artefact’s side, always talking to it. Tali watched as the pirate’s attacked colony after colony, snatching people from their homes and locking them in pens and holding cells. At first the attacks seemed random, hauling in different species. She felt a pang of guilt when she saw the poor asari girl dragged aboard. But soon, even their hunting changed. The flight data showed them targeting human colonies… only human colonies. System by system, after nearly a month they’d filled every holding cell and even the cargo bay pens with humans. It didn’t look normal, like they were finding every available space to put them. Groups of humans lashed together, left on the cargo bay floor. Tali’s blood ran cold as she watched the pirates dragging non-human captives out of their pens and cells, forcing them into the ship’s airlocks before venting them into space. She felt sick, watching these terrified people murdered so horrifically. Her memory dredged up Daniel’s face… the fear in his eyes.

More and more humans were taken, filling every available space. As the timetable closed in on the present, she finally caught the two pilgrims being brought on board. By now the pirates were acting erratically, attacking the prisoners and each other seemingly without provocation. They lashed the poor kids together with the asari, dumping them right next to the artefact. Tali watched as a week of internal footage went by. At first the pilgrims struggled, trying to free themselves. When they realised it was impossible, they pressed against one another, just wanting to be close. Days went by. The young woman felt the pit in her gut worsening. She’d been on Virmire with Shepard. She still remembered what the asari doctor had told them. The effect was slow, but after a few days, or a week, you began to lose yourself. Unable to watch them suffer, Tali flicked back to the flight data. She watched the pirates enter the Tassrah Relay, she saw them travel through the Far Rim, into the Perseus Veil. Then further, to a star beyond Tikkun, somewhere remote. There the pirates lingered, orbiting a lonely barren world, as if they were waiting for something. It wasn’t long before she had her answer. The sensor recordings detected another ship arriving, burning straight towards them. A single huge vessel, the LADAR scans painted an unidentified silhouette. The ship drew closer, and the pirates seemed to spring to life. They moved about the cargo bay, dragging people away from a large docking airlock. The people didn’t resist, they didn’t yell or thrash around as the batarians moved them. They were still, calm. It was unnerving. Soon the ship was close enough for external cameras to pick up, Tali switched to the footage… and her eyes went wide.

It loomed over the frigate, a monolithic vessel so strange she could never mistake it. A flying ruin, jagged metal spikes jutted out from the stern, giving way to a broken hull that looked like an unfinished skyscraper. Halfway up the monstrous ship, steel gave way to stone, the entire front half covered in enormous spires of rock. It looked like a giant insect hive had grown out of the ship. The dread that had gripped her all those months ago dug into her skin once more. This was it; this was the thing that destroyed her home. The ship drew closer, extending a docking tube toward the pirate frigate. She switched to the internal cameras, watching the smaller vessel shudder as the larger one grabbed it. The batarians had all gathered in the cargo bay, standing together without any kind of discipline to their stance. Their leader stood by the artefact, watching as the cargo airlock opened.

What came through the doors… was unlike anything Tali had seen before: A strange, insect-like creature, red flesh peering between the gaps in its muddy brown exoskeleton. Its four beady eyes were a vacant yellow. Soon dozens more followed, pouring into the room. Some carried weapons, strange rifles that almost looked organic themselves. The leader of the batarians spoke to them, without audio she could only guess what was said, but the way he gestured to the prisoners gave an idea of what was happening. The creatures were inspecting the humans, touching them with clawed hands and prying them from one another. Tali’s focus shifted to a procession of strange pods being led into the cargo bay. Suddenly the creatures began dragging the prisoners toward the pods, throwing the pacified humans inside them. She watched in horror as hundreds of pods were brought in, each one filled with a man, woman or child before being returned back through the airlock. It was mortifying; these people were completely helpless! Slowly but surely every human being was taken, one of the last was a woman who eerily matched Daniel’s description of Trish. Despite it’s commanding presence, the creatures payed no attention to the Reaper artefact; moving around it as they rounded up the last of the humans. When the final pods retreated back to the strange ship, one of the creatures lingered. It looked over the pilgrims and the shivering asari. The pirate leader pointed to them, gesticulating a transaction. The creature ignored him, heading back to its ship. Tali watched the external camera feeds as the enormous vessel pulled away and jumped to FTL.

Keelah… all those people, she felt sick.

Chapter Text

Still reeling from what she’d seen, Tali’s thoughts were interrupted by a thud outside the door. The quarian was on her feet in seconds, silently padding past sleeping crewmates before passing through the opening. She looked down toward the bridge, but she couldn’t see anything amiss. Carefully stepping out into the cramped corridor, she slowly made her way toward the mess area, just a little beyond the bunkroom. It looked like the crew deck was empty; the mission must have ended close to the “midnight” shifts. Entering the small room, she quickly looked around. Her heart rate was climbing in the eerie quiet. Something was wrong. She headed for the far entrance when a groan caught her ear.

“…Tali.” The medic’s voice strained, loud enough to spin the engineer around. She was slumped against the back corner of the room, her gloved hands desperately clamping down on her leg. Tali was horrified to see blood pouring from her suit. She rushed over, getting down on one knee to assist the injured doc. Up close, she could see the medic’s helmet had been struck hard by something, there were visible cracks in her mask.

“What happened?” Tali asked, her mind going a mile a minute.

“Pilgrim… jumped me.” The medic’s voice crackled in and out through her damaged vocaliser. Tali pressed her hands down over the wound. “…Only turned around for a second.”

“Hey! I need help out here!” Tali yelled into the hall. She could feel her gloves slipping against the bloody fabric of the suit. To her relief the sounds of cursing and fumbling echoed from the bunkroom. Soon two marines stumbled out, quickly coming to see what the commotion was about. “She’s bleeding. I need suit patches right now!” The marines obeyed without question, one of them setting off toward the infirmary while the other joined his hands with hers. Slowly the combined pressure stemmed the bleeding. Tali let out a relieved breath. The medic pointed her finger down toward engineering.

Hal…

Tali was on her feet, checking down the hallway to confirm the other marine headed back, patches in hand. She turned to run when suddenly the whole ship rocked. Crashing into the wall, the young woman was dazed when the Nualli’s general alarm blared. Half stumbling down the passage she could feel the energy coming off the drive core from outside. The door had been sealed shut. She brought up her Omni-tool, but the locking systems weren’t responding. Quickly the quarian switched to her cutting torch. Her visor auto-adjusted to the brilliant flame as she tried to keep her hand steady. She had to get inside! Any core fluctuations powerful enough to feel through the door were bad news. Despite her best efforts, panic was building in her.

“Hurry up! Bosh’tet!” She yelled as the last few inches of sealed metal gave way. Gripping the handle, she wrenched the door open. She could see the core visibly shuddering, being forced beyond its limits to near breaking point. Tali could make out two people in the room. To her horror, one of them was Hal. He was crumpled on the floor, not far from his workstation. He was barley moving, clutching at his belly and lying in a pool of blood. Tali felt a wave of nausea wash over her. She pulled her eyes away from him, focusing on the attacker, her hands balled to shaking fists. The pilgrim hadn’t noticed her, the girl’s hands darting over the terminal. Her fingers were a blur; opening up every subsystem she could to bypass the safeties. It wasn’t possible for her to know them; hell even Hal didn’t know them. The panic building in the back of the engineer’s mind was threatening to burst forth, but she held her nerve.

“Get away from that console, now!”

Tali’s command carried just over the roar of the drive core. The pilgrim stopped her frenzied typing. She pulled something from a pouch on her… no, from her leg. Blood dribbled down from the self-inflicted wound, dripping onto the cold metal floor. In her hand was clutched the medic’s scalpel, steel shining bright red. The pilgrim turned to face Tali. Her suit was damaged from the previous struggle. Cut open in places, revealing pale skin beneath. Her hood was gone, torn off in the fight, leaving the pilgrim’s bare helmet exposed. Even with the pulsing flashes of the drive core behind her, something monstrous shone back from inside the mask.

Her eyes… they were… glowing… burning! Tali could feel them on her, holding her to the spot. The pilgrim took a step forward, and spoke.

"VERMIN "

The voice froze the blood in Tali’s veins. It was a horrible, grinding shriek that raked its claws along the inside of her skull. She felt light-headed, struggling to stay on her feet as the noise burrowed its way deeper and deeper into her. Her vision blurred, she barely made out the pilgrim rushing forward. Shaking the haze from her head, Tali readied herself. Keeping her hands up, she watched the pilgrim swing the blade toward her. With the grace of a dancer she caught the assailant’s hand, twisting her body into it as she immobilised the arm. She swung the lighter girl forward over her shoulder; the joints in the pilgrim’s wrist and elbow popped and tore apart.

The scalpel clattered harmlessly to the floor. Tali caught her breath, her other senses coming back into focus just as the pilgrim’s foot connected with her stomach. She was flung back, crashing into the railing behind her. Tali cried out in pain. Her muscles and spine screamed in protest, but the engineer forced herself into a defensive stance. She could see the damage she’d done to the pilgrim’s body. The girl’s right arm hung limp by her side, while her left had been broken at the forearm from the fall. There was no pain in those blazing eyes, no sign she’d even noticed the difference. She wasn’t going to stop. Every second Tali spent fighting was another second they all came closer to death.

She’d been here before. This time would be different.

Everything quarian inside her told Tali not to do it, but she drew her boot knife. The pilgrim rushed forward again, barrelling into her. Tali countered the savage charge clumsily, toppling over with the attacker when her pain-addled body refused to cooperate. She was on the ground with the pilgrim on top of her. She felt the girl’s helmet smash down into hers, the impact left her stunned. Then she felt it again, and again. Strike after strike as the pilgrim tried to crack open her visor. Cresting on the edge of panic, Tali counted the intervals, clinging to that last shred of control.

The pilgrim reared up, then slammed her head down, only to be met by the engineer’s strong grip at her neck. Tali guided the attack with her hand, sending the girl’s momentum into the hard floor. In one fluid motion she was on top of the pilgrim, knife in hand. Holding the girl’s helmet still, those eyes glaring through the spaces between her fingers, Tali drove the knife deep into her throat. The sharp steel blade bit down mercilessly through fabric and tubing, slicing into the flesh beneath. But Tali’s powerful strike didn’t stop there. She forced the knife deeper, all the way to the hilt before it finally found it’s mark. The tip of the blade slipped between the girl’s vertebrae, severing the spinal cord and killing her instantly.

The crazed pilgrim lay still on the floor; her burning eyes fizzled and faded behind opaque glass. Without a second’s hesitation, Tali was up again. Her fingers flew across the console, rerouting heat flow and normalising charge levels. The process took time, every second sending rivers of sweat down the woman’s body. For anyone else it would’ve been impossible. But Tali knew her ship; she knew her baby wasn’t too far-gone. After the tensest minute of her life, the ship-wide alarms subsided, and the Nualli’s racing heart calmed. The engineer nearly collapsed from sheer exhaustion, her heart pounding. But when her mind cleared, a singular thought was present.

“Hal! Hal can you hear me?” Tali knelt by the boy’s side, gingerly moving his hands. Her mouth went dry as she looked over his injuries. There were eight stab wounds peppered along his stomach, close together; a savage attack from the front. He’d tried to stop her.

Tali quickly activated her Omni-tool, expending every vial of medi-gel she had over the blood-soaked suit. It wouldn’t be enough. His eyes flickered and met hers, wheezing through strained breaths to answer her.

“Tali?” Hal’s voice was trembling. “…I’m sorry.”

She shook her head, tears beading in her eyes. Tali took Hal’s hand in hers, holding it tight.

“This is Tali’Zorah in engineering! I need suit patches and a stretcher right now!” She yelled the orders into her helmet. She heard a grunting affirmation in her earpiece, but it barely registered. The young woman focused on Hal, her hand squeezing his, trying to keep him awake. By now the whole ship was on alert and help came not even a minute after her call. Soon there were soldiers either side of the young understudy, fixing emergency suit patches over the gruesome incisions. They administered multiple shots through his suit, before carefully lifting him onto the stretcher. Other marines had followed to assess the situation, but they stopped dead when they entered. Their eyes were all on the pilgrim girl, the same girl they’d saved from certain death only hours ago, lying dead on the floor. With Tali’s knife buried in her throat.

She didn’t notice the stares they gave her as she followed the stretcher back to the infirmary; she didn’t hear the muttered curses and retching from crewmates who’d followed the soldiers in. As they passed through the mess, Tali glanced over to the far corner. The medic was gone, but the blood still stained the floor. They passed the bunkroom before finally stopping inside the small infirmary, gently setting Hal down on the bed.

The medic was clearly a tougher woman than Tali thought, limping around with a pressure dressing over her wound. She was already preparing an IV; setting up bags of clear liquid while a marine readied his suit’s arm for an emergency transfusion. She gave the boy another shot through his suit’s medical intake before turning to her guest.

“Tali?” The medic’s voice was calm, crackling through her damaged helmet. She placed a hand on the engineer’s shoulder when she didn’t respond. “Hal’s lost a lot of blood.” The medic’s voice was calm, controlled. “We’ll give him a transfusion and start him on antibiotics. Afterward I’ll sedate him for transfer to intensive care.”

Tali nodded, staring blankly forward. She lingered in the room, completely lost.

“Hey!” Her eyes were on the medic’s again. “I’ll do everything I can, alright? I promise. But Tali, I need you to go, and let me work.”

Tali felt a hand on her shoulder, guiding her back into the hallway. She felt numb, stumbling as the marines held her up. They half carried her back into the bunkroom before sitting her down on a bed. Nobody said anything. She could sense there were people by the door, but she didn’t look. Her eyes were on her hands; they hadn’t stopped shaking since the fight. The beautiful purple and black colours of her gloves were completely drenched in dark crimson. It hadn’t registered during the struggle, but her blade must have opened an artery in the pilgrim’s neck. There was blood all over her front, staining the fabric of her hood and suit, sticking to the golden rings that decorated her neck and chest. The coppery smell filled her nostrils, making the young woman’s stomach churn. Between panting breaths Tali heaved in her seat, unconsciously trying to purge the experience from her insides. Despite the physical exhaustion, her brain was still swimming in adrenaline.

She had to calm down; at this rate Tali knew she’d pass out if she didn’t. Digging her fingers into her legs, she focused on her breathing. “An old human trick”, Shepard had called it. She took a long, deep breath in through her nose. She counted to four, nice and slow. Then she let it out, feeling the air rush between her lips. She counted again on empty lungs, repeating the process. With her eyes closed, the world was small, manageable. Thoughts became clearer, indistinct fear morphed into problems to solve. Her racing heart began to slow, panicked chaos turning back into rhythm. Eventually her grip loosened, her fingers relaxing their grasp of suit fabric. When she opened her eyes again, she was back in the bunkroom, back in control.

The next hour was a blur. Tali had been kept out of engineering just long enough to clean up the mess inside. The pilgrim’s body was sealed away inside a body bag, out of sight. It was surreal, setting foot inside there again. It was clean; no traces of blood anywhere. She was thankful for not just the cleaning up done to the room, but the one she’d received as well. Two marine women had offered to help with her suit, and while it had certainly felt a little awkward, the engineer was glad to be rid of the smell and the horrible stains on her gloves.

She hadn’t seen Hal again; the door to the infirmary had been closed since she was ushered out. Whatever lingering anger she had toward the medic, she knew bothering her wouldn’t help the boy. There were things she could do, things that required her expertise. Digging around in the guts of the ship was the distraction Tali sorely needed. She’d been down this road before, that gut-wrenching period of not knowing. She had to have faith, that the professionals around her would do their jobs. So she worked, she busied her mind with problems to solve, things she could fix with her hands. When there was no more she could do mechanically, she went back to her terminal. She adjusted core charge levels, straightening out heat distribution and field bleed, doing her best to mend the damage. The Nualli would need time in dry-dock, repairs done to the core itself. For now, that could wait. Tali would make sure her ship got the crew home safe.

“Tali?” Kal’s voice brought the busy engineer from her terminal. She turned to greet him, unsure of what to say.

“How’s Hal doing?” She couldn’t keep the question in.

“Lilly’s got him sedated now. His vitals are good.” Kal tried to sound hopeful, but he knew better than to lie to her. “She’s giving Hal stims, but he’ll need antihistamine therapy soon.”

“…Okay.” Tali nodded, keeping her voice steady. “Thanks for letting me know.”

“You alright, physically I mean?”

“Got kicked against the railing, I’ll be fine.” Tali played off the pain. Kal shook his head.

“I don’t think so ma’am. Once we’re back on the Neema you’re under orders to see the doc.”

“Alright, Kal.” Tali relented. She didn’t have the strength to argue. “How long until we’re home?”

“Should only be another hour, we were in-system when this whole mess happened.” Kal answered as he walked over to her. Tali was surprised when he produced her knife from one of his pouches, placing it in her hands.

“Some of the crew are a little shaken up about it. Lilly told me the pilgrim attacked her when she turned to get a syringe.”

“Lilly… should’ve sedated her.” Tali said, her tone icy. “I warned her this could happen.”

“Yeah, she told me that too. She’s sorry about what happened, firmly believes it’s her fault.”

“…It’s my fault.” Tali’s answer surprised Kal.

“I shouldn’t have left Hal alone. If I’d been there, I could’ve…” She stopped when he laid a hand on her shoulder.

“Don’t do that to yourself. Hal’s not dead yet, and the only reason he’s got a fighting chance is because you got to him so quickly.”

She knew he was right. There was no changing the past… no matter how much she wanted to.

“Thanks, for coming to check on me.” She offered the man a weak smile.

Kal returned the smile, his eyes pressed to crescents. “I wish that was the only reason I came down here. I got a call from Admiral Zorah, he wants to see us when we dock.”

Tali deflated a little, blowing a sigh out of her mouth.

“Of course he does.”

Chapter Text

The Nualli made her final approach to the Neema. As usual the initial greeting between any ship and the Migrant Fleet was the bridge alert that hundreds of guns were tracking them before a request for verification was delivered. After a positive LADAR scan for the stealth ship’s silhouette was taken, along with a clunky delivery from Kal’Reegar of his assigned pass-phrase; something poetic that may have sounded beautiful coming out any other mouth. Even with every box ticked, the flight was still an anxious one. Being the flagship of the Heavy Fleet, the Neema received constant shuttle traffic, as well as sporting a number of escort frigates and cruisers. Despite the impressive view of the Heavy Fleet from the bridge, Tali had elected to remain in engineering. Among the other things tugging at her brain, not least of all her brave protégé fighting for his life, she was worried about the core itself. The pilgrim’s sabotage had been reversible from the position of avoiding a catastrophic breach, but her efforts had damaged several critical systems. Worse still was the state of the element zero mass inside. There’d been overconsumption of material, making the drive core unstable. While she had no intention of alarming the crew over something she could easily babysit, Tali felt uncomfortable leaving it alone.

A sudden shift in the ship caught the young engineer’s attention. Even through the momentum dampeners, it was apparent they’d had to make a course correction. Soon the Nualli returned to her graceful glide toward the Neema’s docking cradle, gently pushed along by her reaction control thrusters. Finally the atmosphere of motion dissipated as the small ship connected to the airlock. Now that they were docked, Tali let herself relax a little. She tapped at her console, powering down the drive core to a more stable level. Despite knowing her ship would be getting a thorough session in dry-dock, she’d already started making notes about the damages. What systems were compromised, how to safely access the core, how to deal with semi-depleted eezo. It was unnecessary, but it still felt good. With everything squared away in engineering, Tali made for the bridge. She was expecting a call to come up anyway. Just before leaving, she gave the door a final, nasty look. Next time she’d have explosive bolts put in. As she’d predicted, her helmet radio crackled to life by the mess room. Kal’Reegar’s request only finished a second before she squeezed through onto the bridge. Far from the relieved mood she was expecting, Kal, Prazza and Meeko all seemed nervous.

“What’s wrong?” Tali asked.

“Take a look outside.” Meeko answered, pointing to the window facing the docking bay. Tali’s eyes followed the pilot’s finger to the number above the airlock before the realisation set in.

“Cradle Thirteen?” She asked, shocked.

“Yep, got the update last-minute.” Meeko didn’t make an effort to hide how annoyed she was.

“Admiral Zorah’s orders.” Kal finally spoke up, turning to face Tali. “Military quarantine, nobody’s going anywhere.”

“What?” Tali was baffled, what possible reason could Father have for locking them down like this?

“You and me are the only people allowed off, ma’am. He wants to see us.” Kal hid the anger in his voice well, but Tali could sense it.

Following the red-suited marine out from the bridge, Tali could already feel dread bubbling up inside her. It seemed like no matter how many years went by, going to see her father would always feel the same. The main airlock was only a short trip, between the bunkroom and the bridge itself. Some of the crew and marines had gathered on the deck. Most were talking amongst themselves, wondering what was going on. It wasn’t uncommon for military vessels to get stricter oversight than their civilian counterparts, but being sent to the Neema’s quarantine docking cradle was a bad sign. She suspected word had already reached Father. The nervous crewmates made a hole for the two of them to pass, but Tali could feel their eyes on her. By now everyone knew what had happened. How she’d murdered the girl she’d saved not even hours before. Of course nobody actually saw what occurred in engineering. Nobody heard that monstrous voice coming out of that poor child. They just saw a girl; her body broken, with Tali'Zorah's knife plunged in her throat. Removed from the adrenaline of the moment, that broken little body become a fixture in Tali’s mind.

The first quarian she’d ever killed.

The airlock doors opened to reveal a whole squad of marines, rifles in hand. Both Kal and Tali tensed up a little, this was beyond their expectations. Neither of them recognised the suits, anything identifiable had been patched over or removed: Another red flag. The lead marine approached them, his weapon slung. He ran his Omni-tool over the both of them, one at a time. Kal had seemingly recovered from the rude welcome, standing to attention as the tool scanned him. Tali however, found it harder to keep her nerve. She squeezed her hands to fists, trying to hide the trembling as she kept them at her sides. The marine seemed to linger on her, running his holographic device up and down her body multiple times. His eyes looked intently at the readings on his wrist, then straight at her. Finally the Omni-tool vanished from his arm and the marine addressed them.

“Come with us, Admiral Zorah is waiting.”

The dread in Tali’s gut worsened. The marine had a voice changer. There wasn’t any reason to greet a friendly ship with disguised suits and voices. Whatever protests either she or Kal might have had to their treatment seemed unwise to voice. If there was one thing that always held true about the admiralty, they never took anything lightly. Tali and Kal fell in behind him, with the squad surrounding them. Together they marched through the familiar halls of the crew deck, with wall-slung cargo and hazy air. But the warm amenities of home did little to comfort her. This was the other side of her home, the guns, the secrecy, orders… and the expectation to follow them. Together the group approached one of the elevators, the normally bustling transfer area had been carefully cordoned off for their arrival. More than half the squad entered one of the elevators, while the lead marine and two guards shepherded Tali and Kal into another. The ride up was silent, Tali could only hear her own breathing, which she noticed had gotten shallower. She was grateful to be out of that tiny cubicle when the doors opened. The recognisable halls of the command deck greeted them, and before long the rest of their escort caught up. They marched again, each step drawing closer to the Neema’s briefing room. She’d only been inside a few days ago, but now the trip there felt like going to an execution.

The same dimly lit, high-tech room felt so very different. There was no sense of being somewhere important, not atmosphere of gleeful conspiracy. This wasn’t the place where people received secret missions to save lives. No, now it felt like a prison, where no one could see or hear you, and where no one was coming to save you. As Tali expected, Rael’Zorah was alone. It seemed he didn’t think it necessary to include admiral Gerrel, despite the Neema being his ship. That might have surprised someone else, but not her. For a moment the group stood in front of him, all of them unsure of what would happen next.

“Thank you sergeant, you can go.” Rael’s voice carried the same cold tone it always did. The marine saluted without a word and led his squad out, the hissing clench of doors sounding behind them. The three of them were alone, and the admiral took his time before speaking.

“Commander Reegar?”

“Sir.” Kal stiffened to attention.

“Would you care to explain to me how you managed to lose not one, but both pilgrims on this mission?” Rael’s question hung in the air for a moment. Tali could feel her stomach knotting.

“The second pilgrim attacked us sir, she was killed in self defence.” Kal kept his voice steady, but she could only imagine how he felt.

“She attacked you? You’re telling me your marines couldn’t subdue one fleet-weaned pilgrim?”

“Sorry, sir. I didn’t see the attack.” Kal’s apology was met with an angry huff from the admiral.

“What the hell happened, Reegar?”

“At first the girl seemed normal, sir. Corporal Riah was feeding her and giving her shots. Then while she was preparing some medicine, the pilgrim attacked her.”

“What happened next?” Rael kept his eyes fixed in Kal.

“She went to engineering, attempted to sabotage the ship’s core. Hal’Doran was on shift at the time… she attacked him too.” Kal didn’t waver, but Tali shuddered. “Specialist Zorah found Riah in the mess room and got her help, before heading to engineering to stop the pilgrim.”

Rael’s gaze was on Tali now; he looked her over with barely constrained anger.

“So it’s true then?” He said quietly, his voice low.

“Sir?” Kal’s attempt to draw the admiral’s attention barely even registered.

“You killed her.” Rael’s accusation shot right through the young woman. Tali wanted to speak out, to strike back at him without a shred of guilt. But those eyes, honed over years of fatherhood, held her still.

“Sir, if I may?” Kal’s loud interjection was enough to pull his gaze away. “Core readings show that Specialist Zorah had less than two minutes to avert a critical breach. She killed the pilgrim because she was given no choice. Without her actions, we’d all be dead.”

Rael looked over to his daughter again, fury bleeding out of his gaze. For the first time since they’d arrived, he slouched. Rubbing a gloved hand across his helmet’s visor, the admiral let out a long sigh.

“What a fucking mess.” He said, more to himself than to either of them. Somehow the long moment of vulnerability in the admiral was even scarier than his composed display. After what felt like minutes of silence, he finally straightened himself again, staring them down.

“This never happened, understood?”

“What?” Tali asked, astounded.

“As of now, everything that transpired aboard the Nualli is classified. The pilgrim girl was killed in a core breach, assisting the injured Hal’Doran to contain it. Tali’Zorah’s quick response saved the ship, but sadly not before casualties could be avoided. Commander, your crew will be briefed on their cover story and you will all be expected to sign non disclosure agreements by the end of the day.”

“Yes sir.” Kal answered. Tali simply stood there, simmering.

“You’re dismissed, Commander.” Kal’Reegar offered the admiral a salute, before turning to leave. He knew better than to give Tali anything more than a momentary glance as the heavy doors opened and closed behind him.

The two Zorahs were alone.

“Are you kidding me?” Tali started, unable to keep it in. “Killed assisting Hal… she tried to murder him!”

“What would you have me say?” Rael asked, furious. “That my daughter murdered a pilgrim? Keelah, I can’t believe it’s true…”

“You already knew? You knew and you still sent those fucking thugs to greet us?” Tali roared back. “Hal could be dying right now, and you had me marched up here to, what? Humiliate me?”

“Tali’Zorah!” Rael’s thundering reprimand silenced her. Seeing his daughter flinch; He calmed himself.

“I brought you here, to protect you. That girl, she’s a captain’s daughter. We’re going to have to maim the corpse to fit our story. You think I want that, Tali?”

He took a deep breath, seemingly exhausted. “Tell me what happened.”

“Why?” Tali retorted, her voice shaking.

“Please… I need to know, from you.”

Tali did her best to calm down. Despite her frustration, her father was an admiral.

“I heard a sound from the bunkroom. I got up to check it out, that’s when I found our medic in the mess. She told me about the attack, pointed me to engineering. By the time I got there the core was overloading, and Hal was…” Tali kept her nerve, forcing herself past those awful moments. “I confronted the girl, and she attacked me. So I killed her.”

“There’s something you’re not telling me.” Rael informed her. “I received the pilgrim’s suit data just before you docked. She had multiple breaches, long enough to go into shock before she could’ve reached engineering.”

“You won’t believe me.” She answered curtly.

“Just tell me.”

“She… wasn’t herself anymore.” Tali tried to explain. “She didn’t react to pain, or injury. Keelah, I broke both her arms in the fight.”

“How is that possible?” Rael asked, genuinely bewildered. Tali shook her head weakly.

“I don’t know.” She watched as her father threaded his fingers together, mulling it over. “There’s something else.” His eyes were on her again. “She spoke to me, just before attacking. But she sounded wrong, like someone speaking through her.”

“Speaking… through her?”

“This horrible, grinding sound. Like someone running a knife down your visor. She looked at me… like she knew me.” Tali shuddered thinking about it. “I think… I think she was indoctrinated.”

All at once, any hope for resolving the problem vanished. The young engineer heard her father’s frustrated sigh, and she knew what was coming. He approached her, not with the domineering figure of an admiral, but with the patronising look of a parent.

“Tali…”

“Forget it.” She snapped, turning to leave. “I knew it was pointless.”

She felt his hand around her arm. Twisting unconsciously out his grasp, she turned to glare at him, indignity flaring in her eyes. She wasn’t going to be lectured again; especially not by the man who’s entire life was spent consumed with paranoia about the geth!

“…I’m sorry.” He said, his tone sheepish in a way she hadn’t heard in years.

Tali said nothing.

“It’s just… it’s been a year. I don’t want my daughter jumping at shadows because of some human’s crusade.”

“Jumping at shadows?” She yelled. “After everything I told you, that’s what you think of me? I’m just some stupid kid wrapped up in her old captain’s ideas?”

“I think…” Rael said calmly. “That we should focus on the problems we can solve. Not the ones we can’t.” He watched her carefully before continuing. “That’s why I’m reassigning the Nualli. I want you and your ship out there for the good of the Fleet.”

“Doing what?” Tali asked, her anger fading.

“We’re still analysing the flight recorder you decrypted. We’ve got some preliminary results, general sensor data from the Perseus Veil and Far Rim. We’ll have mission-ready intel to use over the next few months, I want you and your team out there focusing on geth technology.”

“I knew it.” Tali protested. “I’m not scrap hunting for your experiments!”

“Tali, you will follow orders! None of us want our duty, that’s what makes us worthy of it.” She swallowed the platitude with a scowl.

“Besides, this is an unofficial assignment. Officially, The Nualli crew will remain a strike team, responding to threats in the Terminus Systems. Despite what happened, there are other pilgrims out there. I don’t trust anyone else to protect them.”

“I’m surprised to hear you say that.” She said sarcastically. Her dig clearly hurt the man more than she expected.

“Tali... I know you’d never have hurt that girl without good reason.” Rael’s voice betrayed deep sympathy. “Kal told me what you did on the pirate ship. You risked your life to save her.”

Her eyes fell from his, looking down at her feet. Tali felt a dozen different things swirling inside. Moments like these were what she hated most. When the two of them were so close, they could almost touch. Without the anger, the suspicion, everything felt empty. Long ago, maybe there’d been hope. That moments like these would become the norm, that one day the barrier between them would break. It made her angry, furious with herself for being so naive, but sometimes… she wanted it more than anything.

“…Okay.” She finally said, meeting her father’s eyes again. “Just, tell me where and when.”

“Thank you, Tali.” For the first time in a while, Rael’s eyes were warm. “You’re the only one I can rely on, you know that? You’ve always been the only one.”

She nodded. “I should... go check on Hal.”

“He’s in for surgery right now. I had him moved to intensive care. I’m sorry, but it’ll be a while before he can see anyone.”

“Right… I’ll head back to my room, then.” Tali said as she went to leave.

“Wait.” Her father’s voice held her near the door.

“I…uh.” Rael stumbled over his words. “I’ve got you booked in for a clean room, number seventeen, with the shower? It’s yours for the next couple hours.”

“Thanks, but I’m okay.” She held up her hands.

“Tali, It’s been four months since you were out of that suit!” He said sternly. “Do your father a favour and use the clean room, please.”

“Alright... I will.” Tali relented.

By now she was spent, and couldn’t find the strength to argue. A “thank you” followed her out the door. Not particularly wanting preferential treatment as a bribe, Tali couldn’t ignore how much she wanted to be out of her damn suit.

Chapter Text

Before long she was back on the main crew deck, weaving through foot traffic and giving a nod or wave to the hundreds of quarians she passed: Just another mask in the crowd again. With a little help from her Omni-tool, Tali made her way down a deck or two, towards the Neema’s clean rooms. The rooms themselves were nothing special, most were no bigger than an apartment bedroom on the Citadel; just enough space for one or two people and some small amenities. A few of them, seventeen included, had showers for use. Getting out of the suit was one thing, but to actually have a shower? It was a rare treat for a quarian to feel liquid on their skin that wasn’t sweat.

As she drew closer, Tali could see an official standing behind a desk just outside the main door. Being a luxury, all the clean rooms were locked away on the crew sub-deck. The hallway was divided into a visitor and reservation centre in the front, with the rooms partitioned off by a large sealed bulkhead. There were already a number of quarians lingering outside, no doubt to book an appointment. She waited patiently as the line shrank, the people ahead of her leaving with an excited skip in their step. Eventually it was her turn, the official looking her over.

“Here to book a room?” She asked. She was an older woman, with husk in her voice.

“I’ve… got a booking. Room seventeen, Tali’Zorah?”

“Hmm, one moment.” The official tapped through her Omni-tool. Tali felt a little embarrassed when the woman’s eyes widened.

“Oh, I’m sorry ma’am. I didn’t recognise you.”

“It’s okay.” Tali tried her best to play it off with humour as the official opened the bulkhead door. She followed the older woman down the impeccably kept hallway, one of the few places devoid of the Migrant Fleet’s ramshackle look. The walls were adorned with murals, depicting idealised quarians in various states of undress. The paintings weren’t enticing or explicit, just beautiful. It was so rare to see another quarian naked, great love and care had been put into capturing their essence.

The robe-like clothes they were partially draped in supposedly were artist impressions of pre-fleet fashion, though honestly there was so little that remained from before that they could just be completely made up. Tali figured it didn’t really matter; the art was lovely regardless. In the midst of appreciating the murals, she nearly bumped into her guide. The both of them had come to a stop just outside room seventeen, right at the back of the hall. The outside of the airlock door was just as ornate, painted gold and inscribed with hand-written Khelish.

“Under safe skies, our temple is laid bare.”

“All right, ma’am. The room is yours for the next two hours. Once inside the airlock, please undress before heading into the room proper. Your suit will be cleaned and repaired while you’re inside, courtesy of the Neema. The shower has fifteen minutes of water stored, feel free to adjust pressure and temperature as you see fit.” The official’s speech was well practiced.

“Thank you.” Tali nodded.

“Also, while your privacy is guaranteed, please be aware all our rooms are fitted with biometric sensors. If you suffer from open-air exposure, we have medics on site to aid you. Your health is our top priority.”

“I appreciate it, but I’ll be fine.”

“Of course ma’am, enjoy yourself.”

With that, Tali stepped through the open airlock door. She could feel the anticipation building as the small threshold ran its decontamination process. With no viewport on the outer door, she was completely alone. After a minute of very thorough chemical and radiation sweeps; the airlock confirmed zero microbe presence. Despite itching to get undressed, Tali ran one last check on her Omni-tool. Her suits own sensors scanned the area, before sending her a concurring report. It was safe.

After inputting the passcode into her tool, she pressed a final button on her helmet, just behind her visor. There was a small hiss. Carefully placing a gloved hand over the glass faceplate, she pulled it away. Tali took a deep breath. For the first time in months, she felt fresh air in her lungs. The change in the room’s colour was minimal, the masks were designed to filter light with maximum accuracy, but her eyes could tell the difference. Everything was just a little brighter; the white walls around her took on just a slightly cooler tone.

Reverently pulling her hood back, Tali exposed her bare helmet. It felt weird, even alone. She fiddled with more buttons, before clumsily tugging the helmet from her head. The rings around her neck were next; a beautiful golden array of them covered the delicate throat of her suit. Thankfully they came away in a single piece, she placed them on a small shelf in the corner next to her helmet. Her gaze lingered on the purple fabric of her gloves, so much richer without the mask. The swirling desert winds of Clan Zorah adorned the royal hue, stunning silver to her UV-sensitive eyes.

Piece by piece she removed her exterior suit, placing the purple and black garment on the shelf, folded carefully. Her boots were next, a tricky endeavour. With a little finesse, she slipped her feet out of the felxible toe-shoes before placing them next to the door. With every recognisable part removed, the young woman only had her under-suit left. Feeling half naked already, Tali set about the least pleasant part of the undressing process.

A small tube ran from the side of her head-sock, along her cheek and into her nostril. One of the many lovely aspects of suited life was the need for a feeding tube: Something to pass nutrient paste, water or medication when needed. Thankfully the tube itself was designed to conform to the shape of her face, eliminating the need for an adhesive patch to hold it there. With a gloved hand, Tali gently grasped the tube. Tilting her head a little, she took a calming breath before slowly pulling it out. The tube itself ran down to her stomach, and she felt every uncomfortable inch of it travelling up her throat before exiting her nose. She gave an unconscious shudder, looking over the thing with disgust.

Next, her dextrous fingers worked at her headpiece. Under the soft black fabric were electrode pads, designed to monitor her brain activity. Carefully peeling off the sticky things, she gave the back of her face-hugging cloth a tug, feeling the fabric sliding across her smooth scalp before crumpling around her neckline, pads dangling from their wires. For the first time in a long while, her head was a little cold. It was a wonderful feeling.

The rest of the under-suit was quick to come off; it was a simple one-piece after all. Uniform black fabric and tubing fell away, leaving the young woman as naked as the day she was born. It was so strange, like breaking the golden rule. Anywhere else on the ship and she’d be dead before she could dress herself again. But in here, she was safe. Not wanting to waste a second more, Tali took a loping stride through the inner door, tapping her bare finger on a hologram to seal it behind her.

Finally away from the process of undressing, the young quarian could take the time to reacquaint herself with her body. Naturally, the first thing she did was look down. Without the mask, Tali could appreciate just how pale she was. Her skin was the lightest shade of lilac, the colour of a woman who’d never felt the sun. She looked at her hands, slender and feminine, her three digits were each tipped with a small, curving claw. She’d always thought the nails that humans and asari had were so strange: Tiny little flat claws?

Hers weren’t sharp of course; the suit’s gloves were designed to manicure them, blunting their points and edges. There was no need to put undue stress on the material after all. She flexed her hands, turning them over to look at her palms. She liked her claws; they weren’t overly long, and they didn’t curve too much like some quarians’ did. She turned her hands over again, eyes travelling past her wrist and up her arm, focusing on something she’d always loved about her body.

Tali, like all quarians, had stripes. She remembered when Shepard had shown her a photo of a tiger, she’d been frightened by the enormous cat, but the stripes had stuck out to her. They were these bold, black lines across the creature’s body. Her stripes were nothing like that. They were a deeper shade of purple, enough to stand out from her normal hue. Instead of the defined lines on the earth creature, hers were more like brush strokes: Soft, with rounded edges. Long in some places and short in others.

They covered most of her body, being absent only from under her cheeks and down the front of her neck, as well as her chest and belly. The inner side of her arms and legs were bare too, along with her… rear. But the irregular-looking lines complimented everywhere else. Sometimes the markings were little more than dots or splashes. Tali thought they were beautiful, she remembered counting them in the mirror on her tenth birthday. She had two hundred and fifty, with a little dot above her tailbone.

She moved over to the floor-length mirror the clean room offered. Even the most self-conscious quarians wanted the opportunity to see their bodies, without having a suit looking back at them. Tali eyed her reflection, appraising it. It felt surreal, looking at her face again after so long. Day after day spent waking up to a pair of eyes behind purple glass. Seeing them shine back as they reflected the light from her HUD. But here, they didn’t shine at all. She could take them in, as they really were. A little larger than a human’s, with silvery white irises surrounded by dark sclera. For a moment she was lost in them, they were almond shaped, like her mother’s.

They weren’t all she had to remember her by. Tali’s cheeks had her mother’s markings, gentle brushwork stipes under her eyes, with a little crown of them on her forehead. She tilted her head from one side to the other, taking in the shape of her nose. Button-like was a human phrase she thought best suited it. Her cheeks were still soft, her face maybe a little too round still. She hadn’t shaken off the squishiness of her youth yet. Tali pouted a little, she’d always wanted her mother’s proud nose and jaw. She’d been such a regal woman.

Her mouth was smaller than a human’s; her lips were too. She liked them though; they were soft and feminine. She pulled them into a smile. It was forced, but it felt good anyway. It’d been years since anyone had seen her smiling. She felt bolder, parting her lips in a toothy grin. Of all her facial features, she was most proud of her teeth. Well kept all her life, they shined back a pearly white from the mirror. They were smaller than human teeth, but similar. Except that they tapered to sharp points. Not quite fangs, but not flat either.

Her gaze travelled down, past her long neck. She took in her body, from her narrow shoulders down to her tight waist. She lingered on her breasts. Tali thought they were nice. Shapley, but they weren’t large like Liara’s. Her figure overall was athletic from a military upbringing. She had nice definition in her arms, and her legs were thick and powerful. Her belly was flat and toned, emphasising her species’ truly impressive waistline. Whatever feelings she may have had about her chest, her hips made up for it. Tali pivoted a little on her toes, admiring her behind for just a moment. Another feature she was certainly proud of.

She remembered the party at flux, how her old commander had most certainly checked her out as she swung her hips. She swelled a little with pride. Her eyes travelled her long, tapering legs. Being quarian, she was a digitigrade, with long ankles and short shinbones, giving her legs a dog-like or bird-like look to them. Her stripes grew thicker as they descended, forming into a near solid purple colour at her feet.

She recalled another photo Shepard had shown her, of a creature called a dinosaur from an earth museum. It’s toes splayed out like hers did, although she only had two major digits, each tipped with a talon. Unlike the blunted claws on her hands however, a kick from her talons could rip a krogan’s belly open. She noticed her dewclaws, the small third digits a little higher up on her feet. Tali always thought they were dainty; maybe that’s why men didn’t have them?

It was strange. Without the suit, and the electrode pads on her head or the feeding tube in her nose, she looked as healthy as could be: A fit young woman who could take on the galaxy. And yet despite her physique or the natural toughness and strength of her species, if she took one step outside that airlock she’d be dead within minutes. Tali chided herself. She didn’t want to dwell on that, not now. Instead she finally decided to give in to an urge that had been building ever since she’d stripped off.

She started small, rubbing the tips of her fingers together. She savoured every second of it, the slighty rough texture of her sensitive digits. She grew bolder, rubbing her hands together, interlocking her fingers. Feeling that warmth, that tight grip of one hand in the other. Now the floodgates opened. She ran her hands up her arms, slowly. Her skin was so soft, the exterior of a creature that lived their whole life in a suit. The sensation was as wonderful as it was alien, the feeling of hands on her body.

Tali closed her eyes, focusing on the heat of skin touching skin. She unconsciously brought her thighs together, spreading the sensation across her body. The young quarian’s brain blazed with activity, neural pathways coming to electric life as they processed the feeling for the first time in months. From the incredibly fine setae covering her body, to the curving shape of her arms as her fingers explored. Soon she was wrapped in a self-hug, teetering on the edge of euphoria as she squeezed herself tight.

In the midst of this most private of pleasures, she let out a purring groan. It was exquisite. Tali opened her eyes again, breaking up the sheer stimulation of uninterrupted touch. She focused on her reflection, her body tangled in itself. All at once, she felt a little silly. Shaking off the lingering arousal, she headed over to the shower. Tapping the hologram, a fine mist began to pour from the showerhead. She gingerly ran a hand through the warm water vapour, a precaution for any sensible quarian. Satisfied, she stepped inside, closing the glass door.

Tali liked the tight space; she took solace in being somewhere snug and secure. It was the same feeling she got while digging around in the service tunnels and air ducts of ships. She wondered if maybe it was a side effect of the suit, technically she was always confined in a small space. The implications were soon washed away by the warm water vapour billowing over her body as it began to slowly fill the shower. Unlike the sudden and overpowering sensation of skin on skin, the wet air gently clung to her, allowing her presence to impress upon it. The feeling was different, but equally lovely. Contact without force, sensation without pain. But for Tali, it wasn’t quite enough.

Tapping a clawed finger to the shower’s controls, she increased the heat and pressure slowly. The flowing mist became pattering droplets, and soon streaming jets of water. Tali let out a hiss of pain, her sensitive skin overstimulated by the sudden change. The heat came next, replacing the warm mist with hot steam. The animal part of her brain protested, wanting to flee the taxing situation. But the young quarian grit her teeth, forcing herself to bear it. Before long the pain began to fade, replaced by the feeling of rivulets of water trailing down the contours her body. Victorious, Tali tilted her head up into the stream, opening her mouth to drink some of the sterilised water. The heat was discomforting as she swallowed, but worth it for drinking without a damn tube.

Now came her reward for sticking it out. Grasping a bottle of soap in her hand, she squeezed a dollop of scented foam onto her palm. She giddily rubbed her hands together, relishing the new sensation of her palms buffered by the slippery film. She lathered herself, spreading the rare and precious feeling across her body. Even all these years later, Tali could still remember the first shower she took with her mother. One of the perks of being an admiral’s family, a doctor had assured them it was good for her immune system’s development. She’d been so scared when the warm water bit down on her skin. But her mother’s voice had guided her through it, teaching her the rewards that came from bravery and determination. The girl hadn’t appreciated it then, but the woman, feeling months of stress and grime lathered and rinsed away in the blazing cascade… she did now.

Fifteen minutes came and went all too quickly. Soon the sound of rushing water died and streams of water returned to droplets. The thoroughly washed quarian lingered in the small glass box, enjoying the steam before it slowly escaped through the crack in the shower door. Eventually she built up the nerve to open it, setting an exploratory foot down on the floor. To her relief, the climate-controlled room had been warming up ever since she turned on the water. The tiles were still cool, but it was easily bearable. Tali padded over to the room’s air dryer. Despite being visibly hairless, her quarian physiology had in fact blessed her with a covering of extremely fine hair, which was now completely covered in beads of water.

With skin far too sensitive for a rough towel to go over, she instead positioned herself between a set of fans. Feeling room temperature air blasted at her from both sides was more than little strange. She’d had showers before, not even that long ago, but this part always seemed to slip her mind. Spotting the mirror from her spot, Tali noticed the droplets clinging to her body seconds before being dried off. She thought of a photo she’d been shown, of a small earth insect called a bumblebee. The poor creature had its round little body completely covered in sticky pollen. She’d chuckled louder than she meant too, feeling a pang of sympathy for the rotund little bug. Shepard had asked what was so funny, but she’d been embarrassed to tell him, promising to explain later.

Later…

Before she could stop it, her mind wandered to thoughts of Shepard. That last childish part of Tali eyed her reflection, appraising it once more. It voiced that damned question again, one she’d had ever since the two of them had met in that alley, all those months ago: The same question that had stayed her feet for those last moments before she lost everything.

“Would he have found me pretty?”

She didn’t want to think about it. After a year of mourning, every rational bone in her body was sick to death of coming back here. And yet, here she was. Tali’s feet carried her closer to the mirror, talons clicking on the hard sterile floor. She stared at herself, scrutinising every feature. Her head was human shaped, though lacking external ears. The young woman gently touched the small hole behind her jawline. Soon her palm slid across her bald scalp, still warm from the shower. It was impossible to miss what she’d never had, but Liara’s crest and Ashley’s hair had always left her feeling… lacking. The stripes that adorned her offered little comfort now.

A glint of light reflected from her eye. A tear, she hadn’t even noticed shedding. It slid lazily down her cheek before being wiped away. She took her eyes in again, her mother’s eyes: The one part of her not hidden by the damned suit. Shepard had always found them through the mask, no matter what. She’d caught other people guessing, or just staring blankly into the visor, but never him. He sought them out, watching them intently whenever they talked. The first person to do so since she’d left home.

More tears came, but a smile joined them this time. Tali remembered every moment they’d spent together, so many of them happy. Even in the rigors of catching Saren, when it was just the two of them everything was calm. She remembered Shepard’s voice breaking during a joke he couldn’t finish, or how embarrassed she’d felt when her chirpy laughter was interrupted by snorts. A thousand little moments, where she’d have given anything to take her mask off, and return his smile.

She closed her eyes, gently wrapping herself in a hug once more. For a final time, she let her mind wander: The feeling of arms around her, the exciting stimulation of skin against skin. She let every impossible dream wash over her… what could’ve been. She heard his voice again; saw the gleam of blue eyes seeing her for the first time. That tender moment of anticipation, before those eyes filled with awe and love. She felt his skin on hers, allowing him to breach that final barrier between them.

To finally be with someone… with him.

Her hands fell away. Silvery white eyes opened to see that girl gone, a woman in her place. Father was right; it had been over a year. She’d mourned him; she’d buried him. Shepard was gone. Tali wiped the tears from her face. She didn’t want this anymore. She didn’t want to spend her days dreaming about what might have been; wasting the very gift he’d given her. She wanted to laugh and dance… and live again. She wanted to be there for Hal and her crewmates, to focus on the problems she could solve, and the people she could be with.

Tali knew it would be hard, to stay true to her decision. She’d spent a year trying. But her life was so much more than her past. People relied on her, needed her to be there for them. She had purpose in her work, and if she was brave enough to let them in, friends. If she could use her talents to help her people, to make life better for those around her, then the loss wasn’t for nothing. She’d leave this room, but this ghost would stay behind.

To cap her time off, she indulged in one final exercise. She re counted her stripes, turning this way and that to get them all: Two hundred and fifty, with a dot above her tailbone. She opened the inner door to the airlock, her suit was waiting for her, cleaned and touched up and looking brand new. Before putting on her ornate garment again, she gave herself one last look in the mirror.

She was pretty.