Chapter Text
“Pass the gravy, will you Lizzie?” Richard asked his sister from across the table.
“How about you use your manners, Dickie,” Lizzie shot back.
“Kids, come on, it’s Thanksgiving,” Bernie said, passing the gravy dish on her granddaughters’ behalf.
The whole table was a bundle of activity, food being passed left and right, multiple conversations being had. Eli and Noah were in an animated discussion about some new tik tok dance, Richard and Lizzie were still bickering as siblings do, Kathleen was chatting with Carl about some new Netflix series, Bernie was talking to Maureen about something for the baby, and Olivia and Elliot, well… they were just taking it all in.
It was the second Thanksgiving for the kids without their mom and the first Thanksgiving for Elliot and Olivia as a couple. Olivia still had to do a double take sometimes to make sure this was all real. Elliot, sitting next to her at the dining table, her kid and his interacting like they’ve known each other forever. It warmed her heart. She glanced over at her partner turned lover and smiled when he winked at her, as if reading her thoughts.
As dinner progressed, Olivia noticed Maureen grimacing now and then. When she excused herself from the table with the excuse of refilling the punch, Olivia followed. She found Maureen in the kitchen, bent forward as far as a woman who’s 38 weeks pregnant can be, with her hands on her hips and breathing through pursed lips.
“Are you ok, sweetie?” Olivia asked, quickly apologizing when Maureen startled at her presence.
“Oh, yeah,” Maureen brushed off as she raised. “Just Braxton Hicks.”
“Is there anything I can do?” Olivia asked, wanting to do anything she can to help without overstepping.
“No, no I’ll be… fine,” her voice broke off in a whisper as she looked down. Olivia followed her gaze, and though Olivia knew her belly prevented Maureen from seeing the wetness between her legs, she was sure she could feel it.
“I guess it wasn’t Braxton Hicks,” Maureen acknowledged with a nervous laugh.
“Ok, sweetie. Why don’t I go get Carl for you and then Elliot or one of your siblings can drive you to the hospital, ok?” Maureen nodded and Olivia moved back out to the dining room, quickly sending Carl his wife’s direction before making her way upstairs.
Maureen and Carl were hosting Thanksgiving, their brownstone the largest place to hold the whole Benson-Stabler crew, so Olivia headed toward where she knew their bedroom to be. Making an educated guess on which dresser was Maureen’s based on the perfumes and jewelry on top, she quickly searched the drawers for a pair of sweatpants and underwear. She knew their hospital bag was by the front door, remembered Maureen talking about having had it packed for weeks, so with fresh clothes in hand she made her way back downstairs. She passed Kathleen, who must’ve been on a mission for the same thing because she turned around when she spotted the clothes.
While Carl helped Maureen change, Elliot grabbed his keys and coat and went to get the car ready. The rest of the crew had gathered in the entryway, ready to see the couple off, Noah tucked into Olivia’s side, unsure how to process the commotion.
“Dad has the car running and ready,” Kathleen informed when Maureen emerged from the bathroom.
“Thanks,” Maureen smiled, giving her sister a hug before moving to her siblings and grandmother for the same.
Olivia passed Carl the hospital bag when Maureen turned towards her and Noah. “Hang in there, sweetie, and let us know if you need anything,” Olivia whispered as Maureen leaned in for a hug. Pulling back, Maureen held eye contact with Olivia for a long moment before finally speaking.
“Will you be there?”
Olivia stood speechless for a moment. “I, are you sure? Kathleen, or…”
Maureen shook her head, effectively cutting off the rest of Olivia’s sentence. “You were there for my mom when she gave birth to Eli, and if she can’t be here with me today, then I’d really like for you to be.”
Tears threatened to prick Olivia’s eyes and so she simply nodded. Olivia looked quickly to Kathleen, who nodded, before turning towards Noah, who was already stepping aside in anticipation of his mother’s words. “You’re going to stay here with Kathleen and Eli, ok?”
Noah nodded. “It’s ok, mom. Mo needs you now, I’ll be good here.”
“Thank you, Noah,” Maureen smiled, ruffling his hair.
With that, Olivia followed Maureen and Carl out the door and to the car. The couple climbed in the back together while Olivia hopped into the passenger seat. Elliot reached over and squeezed Olivia’s hand when he noticed her shy smile and still moist eyes. He seemed unsurprised by her presence and Olivia sensed that this was something he knew was going to happen. Maybe not like this, but like he knew Maureen was planning to ask Olivia to be there when the time came.
The next several hours were long and arduous. Carl and Olivia offered Maureen as much comfort and support as they could, offering cool compresses and ice chips, massages, and a hand to hold as the contractions got stronger.
When the time came to push, Olivia stood on one side of Maureen while Carl took post at the other. They both spoke words of encouragement as Maureen bore down with each contraction. When the cries of a little girl broke through the room, Olivia couldn’t help the tears in her eyes. She was overwhelmed with pride at how strong Maureen had been, this young woman who Olivia had known since she was a teenager.
Olivia continued to stand beside Maureen as Carl followed the nurses to the warming isolate where the baby was being dried. When Carl returned, holding his baby girl in hand, and passed her over for skin to skin with her mother, Olivia slipped out the door. Per previous request, she informed the Stabler crew of the newest arrival, unsurprised by the quick response in the group chat, knowing despite the early morning hour that everyone was anxiously awaiting the news.
After a series of texts rolled in, Elliot’s face popped up on her screen with the ring of FaceTime. Olivia accepted, smiling when she saw his face. He was shirtless, leaning against the headboard of his bed, indicating they were back at his apartment now.
“You’re officially a papa,” Olivia congratulated, earning a proud grin.
“How’s Maureen?” He asked, the fact that he was most concerned for his daughter warming Olivia’s heart.
“She’s good. They’ll be moving her and the baby to a recovery room shortly. I’m so proud of her, El, her strength. She was amazing and she’s going to be an amazing mom.”
“How’s the baby?”
“Beautiful, healthy, little girl. 6lbs 11oz,” she informed.
“And you? How are you?”
“I, gosh El, I…” for the umpteenth time that day, tears sprung in Olivia’s eyes. “The fact that Maureen wanted me there with her just… I’ve never wanted to overstep with the kids or make them feel like I’m trying to replace their mom, but it was an honor and a privilege to be able to stand in for Kathy.”
“You’re not a replacement,” Elliot assured, not for the first time. “They love you. I love you.”
“I love you, too. All of you,” Olivia replied, wiping a tear from her cheek. “How was Noah?”
“Wonderful as always. He’s bunking with Eli on the trundle. We beat Dickie and Eli in the annual Stabler football game. Kid’s got speed.” Olivia’s chuckle turned into a yawn. “Are you coming home soon?”
Olivia nodded. “I’m going to check in with Mo quick and then yes.”
“I’ll wait up for you.”
“You should get some rest, I’ll text when I’m on my way,” she assured.
“Ok,” Elliot nodded before sliding down in the bed. Olivia blew him a kiss and ended the call, opening a text to Carl to see if it was ok to pop in the room. When he responded with an affirmative and the new room number, Olivia stood and made her way back down the hall.
“Knock, knock,” Olivia called as she tapped her knuckles on the door before entering. “Hi,” she spoke softly as she saw Maureen sitting comfortably with the baby in her arms, Carl on the side of the bed next to her. “I just came to see if you needed anything before I head out. We all figured it would be good to give you a few hours of rest to yourselves before the whole crew comes.”
Maureen shook her head. “I think we’re all good,” she said, looking to Carl, who agreed. “Do you want to hold her?”
“You sure you don’t want your family to be the first ones to hold her?”
Maureen tilted her head, as if confused that Olivia still didn’t understand. “You are family. Maybe not by blood or marriage, yet, but you’re family. You and Noah both. Now come,” she finished, patting the empty side of the bed. Olivia obeyed, moving to sit beside the new mother and holding out her arms. “Olivia, I’d like you to meet Aurora Marie Wagner. Rory,” Maureen introduced as she passed over the baby.
“Hello, sweet girl,” Olivia beamed, tracing a finger over her little button nose, across her forehead and down her cheeks to her dimpled chin. “She’s beautiful,” Olivia said, looking back to Maureen with a proud smile. “I’m so proud of you, Mo, and I know your mom is, too. You did so good.” Maureen let out a soft sob of emotion, falling into Olivia’s embrace when she raised one arm, swiftly wrapping it around Maureen’s shoulder and holding her close. The two women stared at the little girl in Olivia’s arms for a long moment as Maureen’s sobs died down.
Olivia kissed her forehead before passing Rory back to her mother and standing. “We’ll all be back around lunch time. Let us know if there’s something in particular you’d like us to sneak in for you,” Olivia winked as she made her way to the door.
“Olivia,” Maureen called out, Olivia’s hand on the doorknob. “Thank you.”
Olivia simply nodded once before slipping through the door and down the hall. She pulled out her phone as the exited the hospital, sending a quick text to Elliot before hailing a cab.
O: Quick stop to make and I’ll be on my way home.
E: Be safe, I love you.
The cemetery was decidedly eerie in the early hours before dawn, but Olivia made her way down the path towards where she knew Kathy was buried. Arriving in front of the stone, Olivia found herself at a loss for what to say. She’d felt compelled to come but there were so many thoughts running through her mind. She still felt guilty, some days, finding joy in her life with Elliot and his kids when she knew the only reason they were finally together was because Kathy was gone.
She’d been standing there for several minutes in silence when she heard leaves crunch behind her. Turning her head, she was surprised to see Elliot approaching.
“How did you know?” She asked as he moved up behind her, wrapping his arms around her waist and resting his head on her shoulder.
“I know you,” he replied simply.
Olivia sunk into his embrace and the couple stood there in silence a while longer before Elliot spoke again. “We can’t change the past, what’s done is done, but that doesn’t mean we should deny ourselves happiness for the rest of our lives out of guilt. You taught me that.” Olivia nodded, remembering conversations she’d had with him just like this trying to get him to stop punishing himself. “She was always grateful for your presence at Eli’s birth. I know, if she couldn’t be here today, she’d be glad it was you who took her place with Maureen.”
It was in that moment that Olivia felt an inexplicable peace rush through her, as if Kathy was trying to tell her he was right, that it was ok. Olivia turned in Elliot’s arms, wrapping her own tightly around him in a hug as she breathed easier than she had in weeks. When they pulled apart, Elliot brushed a stray hair behind her ear and kissed her forehead. “Are you ready to go?” He asked softly.
Olivia nodded, quickly turning back towards the grave and whispering her thanks before letting Elliot take her hand and lead her out. She knew it wouldn’t be the last time one of them would be weighed down by guilt but as they exited the cemetery, Olivia reminded herself to be grateful for their chance to do life together and embrace it to the fullest.