Work Text:
Mr Glee Club sweated nervously as he stood before the man of his dreams. He’d always been no homo, but after seeing the garbage-bag wearing perfection of Ghetsis Harmonia, he’d gone full homo. Only for one guy tho.
“Hi there,” Mr Glee Club said.
“How did you get in my office on a flying boat that’s flying at this very minute?” Ghetsis demanded.
Mr Glee Club grinned sweatily. “Love.”
Ghetsis Harmonia had an allergic reaction so intense the Shadow Triad had to appear with his Epipens and stab him in the face with one each.
“This song, I chose it because I need to express my feelings for you,” Mr Glee Club explained. “It’s a classic ballad and I believe it’ll be enough to make you fall for me too. Music always brings people together. Just like persistently stalking students until they joined my glee club gave me at least five Facebook friends, some of whom even added me on MSN.” He frowned. “Not that they’re ever online… but… That doesn’t matter. You’re all I need, babe.”
Ghetsis gave a pained gurgle as the triple dose of medicine fixed his love allergy.
Mr Glee Club pulled a microphone from his terrible vest, pointing at the omnipresent man at the piano. “Hit it, Brad.”
Brad mouthed “I fucking despise you and your entire fucking existence,” as he started playing the soft piano intro.
“As long as you love me…” Mr Glee Club crooned musically.
Ghetsis’ eyes narrowed under the love induced swelling.
Drums and other such instruments kicked in because glee clubs are magic.
“All the loneliness has always been a friend of mine, I’m leaving my life in your hand,” Mr Glee Club sang like a Backstreet Boy. “People say I’m crazy and that I am blind, risking it all in a glance. And how you got me blind is a mystery, I can’t get you out of my hea-a-ad. Don’t care what is written in your his-to-ry, as long as you’re here with me.”
Mr Glee Club started to do a funky little pelvis-swaying dance/leg-jig for the chorus. “I don’t care who you are, where you’re from, what you did, as long as you love me. Who you are, where you’re from, don’t care what you did, as long as you love me.”
The swelling of Ghetsis’ allergy face went down as Mr Glee Club sang the second verse, slowing down his pelvis-y leg-jigging dance, as love is also healing.
“Every little thing that you have said and done feels like it’s deep within me. Mm, mm, yeah…”
Ghetsis’ eye bulged. The man also felt the need to destroy that worthless failure of a tool N and rule Unova, or destroy it trying?
“Doesn’t really matter if you’re on the run, it seems like we’re meant to be-e-e.”
Ah, the man knew about Ghetsis’ troubles with the police. Then he would have to die. Such a shame.
Mr Glee Club repeated the chorus with full ballad force that would make Rachel Berry say ‘whoa too far’.
“Why aren’t you killing him?” Ghetsis asked the Shadow Triad.
“I don’t know,” they said as one, transfixed by Mr Glee Club’s totes awks pelvis/leg-jigging dance-y dance.
“I’ve tried to hide it so that no one knows,” Mr Glee Club leant on Ghetsis’ desk, staring adoringly into his eyes, “but I guess it shows when you look into my eyes. What you did and where you’re comin’ from, I don’t care, as long as you love me, baby.”
Mr Glee Club stepped back again, ready to resume the chorus. But Brad picked up the piano, throwing it at him. Mr Glee Club was crushed. With his dying breath, he looked at Ghetsis and rasped, “I… I love you… Ghetsis Harmonia…”
Mr Glee Club was dead.
“Oh no,” Ghetsis said, crying a tear. “What have you done, Brad?”
“Justice,” Brad replied.
Ghetsis ran to his bedroom crying. There, he died from love allergies, maybe heartbreak.
And N laughed.