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Now that he’s back in the atmosphere with drops of Jupiter in his hair
“Hinata.” Kageyama stood in the doorway of his apartment, eyes wide and with the name that had plagued his dreams falling from his lips. This was the one person he hadn’t expected to see when the door swung open. Maybe it was his imagination, but his hair looked that much more orange than it had those months ago at graduation.
“Hi, Kageyama!” The moment his vibrant smile lit his face his hair paled back to the shade Kageyama remembered.
“What – what are you doing here?” He finally spluttered. He couldn’t help thinking back to that day one month before graduation when his perfectly laid out future had come crashing around his feet.
He’d thought it went without saying that they’d go to the same college and play volleyball together. After all, they were Kageyama and Hinata. The dynamic duo. Together they had brought Karasuno to victory in the nationals, and the former King could no longer imagine playing without the exuberant red head by his side. In fact, there were a lot of things he couldn’t imagine without Hinata by his side, but he never thought it was something that needed saying until that day.
Kageyama had said something along the lines of “next year when…” when Hinata dropped the fatal blow.
“Kageyama… I’m not going there with you.” He’d said, brow knit in apology. “I accepted the scholarship from the school in Tokyo.”
“Oh.” Was all Kageyama could say as, piece by piece, the world as he thought he knew it crumbled around him.
“Yeah. I mean… I think it’s time for me to see what I can do on my own. My entire volleyball career so far – well, the part that meant anything – I’ve been with you. You’ve taught me a lot, but I want to see who I can be without you. You understand, right?” His gaze was so plaintive that Kageyama had no choice to agree, even though he really didn’t understand at all.
“Y-yeah.” He’d said in a hoarse voice. “Of course.” The words ‘who I can be without you’ were echoing from every corner of his mind.
“So.” He shook off the reverie with a gruff clearing of his throat, selfishly basking in the light of Hinata’s smile. “How was Tokyo?” Who did you become without me?
Tell me, did the wind sweep you off your feet?
“Tokyo is amazing!” Hinata gushed as soon as he’d been ushered inside. “The lights, the buildings, the people… Hey!” He was distracted by something pinned to the corkboard in the kitchen, and Kageyama felt his cheeks flush a thousand shades of red when he realized what it was. “This is the article from when our team won that tournament!” He peered more closely at it. Kageyama had cut it out and pinned it there in a moment of weakness. Normally he was content to follow Hinata’s team online and in the college sports section of the newspaper, but Hinata’s smile had called to him from the grainy black and white picture.
“Yeah, well…” Kageyama tried his best to brush it off. “I thought the rest of the old team might like to see it. We get together every once in a while. You, uh… You could come sometime.” He offered fumblingly.
“I’d love to!” Hinata grinned. “Oh! Where was I? Tokyo.” He continued rambling about the city, his favorite places to eat, his coaches, his team, and his college classes. At first Kageyama tried to listen to what he was saying, but he soon found himself listening to the sound of his voice instead.
Did you fall for a shooting star – one without a permanent scar?
“It sounds like you’re having an amazing time.” He finally spoke up, knowing Hinata probably expected him to respond at some point. “How – how’s your setter treating you?” He tried to ask as nonchalantly as possible, hoping his voice didn’t shake and betray how desperately he needed to know the answer.
Hinata shrugged in response. “He’s a great guy. I like him a lot. We’ve got these hand signals that are just – ” He stopped short, cheeks beginning to flush. “Well, I guess I shouldn’t say too much. Don’t want to give away any secrets.” Kageyama nodded.
“He’s not you, though.” Hinata added, and Kageyama tried not to smile too widely at that. “We’ve learned to work together, but it’s not nearly as effortless as it was for me back in high school.” He spoke as though years had passed instead of mere months. A single semester.
“What about you?” He abruptly changed the subject. “Did you get a chance to whip a new spiker into shape yet?”
My signature toss has gotten pretty rusty, he thought but didn’t say. Even on his team with a number of excellent spikers and an ace with more power than he’d ever seen, there was still no one quite like Hinata to match the tosses that sprung from his fingertips like electricity. No one like Hinata to bounce around and shout in his ears and work his way under his skin in the most besotting way.
“We’ve got some great guys.” He answered instead. “I’ve been learning to match their spikes. We’re doing pretty well.” He allowed himself a small amount of pride, because it was true. He’d learned a lot about working with different spikers in his three years in high school, so he was more than able to match any player’s spike. It’s the setter’s job, after all.
“Well, that’s great!” He must have imagined the way he noticed Hinata’s face fall almost imperceptibly.
Tell me, did Venus blow your mind? Was it everything you wanted to find?
“And what did you learn?” He finally asked. It was the question that had been burning a hole in his skull since the moment Hinata had appeared in his doorway.
Hinata actually grew contemplative at that. “I learned a lot about myself as a player.” He admitted. “I learned what it’s like to stand on my own feet. To be skilled in my own right.” Kageyama definitely wasn’t imagining the strange ache that settled in his chest. “Playing without you definitely took some getting used to.” Kageyama silently agreed.
Every so often over the past months, he’d forgotten himself. He’d feel the ghost of a presence darting behind him and send one of his electric tosses into the thin air inches away from the unsuspecting spiker’s hand. He’d mumble his apology and the spiker would give him a rather strange look, but the moment usually passed quickly.
“I really do think that I’m an all-around better spiker and blocker.” He continued. “It was kind of humbling, having to actually work to spike the ball.” His teasing grin lit up his entire face, leaving Kageyama momentarily blinded.
“Oi.” He finally managed to grumble. “I know you’re doing just fine. I’m… really happy for you, Hinata.” It wasn’t a complete lie, because seeing how brilliantly Hinata smiled when he talked about Tokyo really did warm Kageyama’s middle. “It sounds like you’re really becoming an amazing player.” For some reason, at that, Hinata looked as though he was about to spill over with glee.
And did you miss me while you were looking for yourself out there?
“I’m glad you feel that way, Kageyama.” His grin was even wider. Kageyama wasn’t sure how much more his heart could take. “Because, I’m here for more than just old times’ sake.” Kageyama thought his heart must surely have stopped. He willed it to keep beating. “Kageyama.” The way he said his name, the plaintive look in his golden eyes, were almost more than Kageyama could bear. His gaze softened. “I’m here because despite how amazing Tokyo was and how great my teammates were, I lay in bed every night thinking back to high school and about how wrong everything felt without you there. I missed you, Kageyama.” He was so achingly sincere Kageyama could feel a blush rising on his cheeks. He should have known that every single thing that spilled out of Hinata’s mouth was unexpected and that this would be no exception.
“I missed you too, Hinata.” He couldn’t stop his voice from wavering this time.
“And so that’s why…” Hinata continued haltingly, “That’s why I just got out of a meeting with your coaches and your school’s dean. I know switching schools in the middle of the year isn’t usually done, but I had to try. Luckily your coach was at that match in nationals.” Kageyama remembered it well. He still got goose bumps thinking about Hinata’s last spike and the elated, crushing hug that followed. “He said that normally he wouldn’t go for it, but he really thinks that I – that we – could do something amazing. That is…” He hesitated. “If you’ll have me.” A wide golden gaze rendered Kageyama speechless for a few moments.
“Hinata…” There were so many things he wanted to say. So many things he should have said a long time ago. “Dumbass.” His voice was so soft anyone would be hard-put to take the comment as an insult. “There’s no one I’d rather have.”
“Thank you for letting me go off to find myself.” Hinata continued softly. “And thank you for still being here when I realized that everything I really needed was right in front of me all along.” Before Kageyama could even open his mouth to respond, Hinata’s hands were wrapping around his jacket collar and their lips were crashing together. When he finally pulled away, Hinata’s cheeks were bright red and Kageyama was sure his own were tinged to match.
“Are you sure this is what you want?” Kageyama’s voice was a hoarse whisper as he clutched Hinata’s fingers in his own, half terrified that he’d float away again. All it took was a single squeeze from Hinata to settle him.
“More than anything,” he confirmed, settling his lips against Kageyama’s once more.
And now you’re lonely looking for yourself out there