Archive of Our Own

Right from the start

That Saturday, unlike other Saturdays, Jimin woke up early. 

His alpha, his husband corrected Jimin in his head, had surely woken up earlier for his usual morning jog if the eerie silence was any indicator. 

He lazily rolled around in his sheets to check the clock on his bedside table.

8 am. 

Yes, his husband (would this word ever stop making him feel all sorts of weird inside?) was already out and functioning.

Jimin sighed and threw away the covers so as to not fall into the temptation of just rolling onto the other side of the bed to go back to sleep.

The thing was that Jimin loved to sleep but that was also something adults rarely had the chance to indulge in as much as they wanted, especially those with a demanding job.

Jimin was, in fact, a specialized doctor.

He had a studio in the city center but also did several shifts in the nearest hospital. Every day from Monday to Friday, and sometimes even Saturday, he woke up at half past six to be able to be at work an hour later and visit as many patients as possible. It wasn't rare for him to work thirteen hours straight or even more. That was why the weekends were worshiped by him as holy days: he counted on them to recharge.

He had always been a sleepy head. As a student, he had loved to laze around in his bed and wrap himself with covers as if he were a burrito. The winter weather and Christmas atmosphere especially called for that kind of behavior.

And no, despite the common belief that this was a typical omega 'nesting' trait, he knew it was just him being lazy. The nesting thing was one of the many myths that went around regarding omegas that humans liked to gossip around.

The world population was equally divided. Within it, there existed  regular humans (who were considered to be ‘average’) and then there were the beta, omega, and alpha gene carriers (who were the more extravagant of the gene pool). Over the centuries there had been bad blood between the two groups, but by the modern era that was something that had been solved. They lived happily and in peace and mixed couples weren't rare. However, despite the progress, there were too many misconceptions and prejudices flying around about hormones and glands and they often made Jimin’s specialized job as an endocrinology doctor for omega-beta-alphas even more difficult.

Omega's nesting. Hn. People really should meet more people like Taehyung, his alpha best friend. His partner was often forced to physically drag him out of bed in order to make him do things but nobody would ever think that that was an Alpha nesting.

Jimin smiled thinking about his best friend and his partner. He wished he could have something just as warm and simple as Taehyung had. Or, really, he would just be satisfied if normality would decide to stop by his house from time to time.

Jimin shook his head. There was no use having those kinds of thoughts ever, especially on a sweet Saturday winter morning. He dragged himself to the bathroom and, after a quick shower and a change of clothes (his favorite maroon pullover and some jeans), he went to the kitchen to have some breakfast.

He had never been the type to go for an abundant breakfast even when he was a teenager and consumed a lot of energy. After his condition got worse and had hence been given his medication, however, he had forced himself to at least eat a couple of cookies so he could take his pills in the morning without upsetting his stomach.

He took the pills out of the pillbox that he kept beside the coffee grounds so he was sure to never forget them. He swallowed two.

Once upon a time, he referred to them as venom, as they used to heavily mess with his organs. But, with time, and with the knowledge he’d acquired in medical school, he realized just how much they were necessary for his general well being.

He quickly fixed the weird taste of the pill with a sip of coffee. He sighed in contentment at the taste. Jimin felt alive only when seated on a table with a precious cup of americano.

Humming a sweet tune under his breath, he decided to move to the living room.

Stepping inside that room always gave him a pleasant and fuzzy sensation. Deciding to bypass the couch, he sat on the fluffy carpet, leaving his mug of coffee on the coffee table as he stretched his arms.

If someone ever asked Jimin which room of the apartment was his favorite, he would - without any hesitation – answer that it was the living room.

Granted, he doubted anyone would ever ask him that.

Even though he was married to a publicly known person, which often entailed weird activities like taking pictures for magazines and doing some interviews, the questions asked would mainly be directed to his husband, usually about topics that revolved around the economy and the market.

The most Jimin could be asked was to explain in rabid terms how proud and grateful he was to be the omega tied to such an alpha. And if the terms weren't rabid enough the journalists would make sure to patch that with enough corny adjectives that would make even the most romantic lover gag.

The only redeeming factor about having to comply with such nonsense was that both of them hated those things equally.

Jimin just wished that the interviewers were a bit more creative, or even slightly interested in knowing more about who they were as people.

And if they really had to ask silly questions, they could at least ask something unharmful and innocent like, what is your favorite room of this huge apartment?

Which was the living room. Jimin found himself vehemently nodding as if someone had really asked him that and he was eagerly showing his enthusiasm. Maybe his question was as ridiculous as the usual “who said I love you first” the gossip magazines loved to throw at them, and he should have felt a bit silly to even think about hypothetical interview questions. Or maybe he just wanted to tell that story.

This particular room of the house and the story behind how it came together, from the pearl grey fluffy carpet on which he was seated cross-legged, to the white couches his husband had so adamantly insisted to buy large enough so he could nap on them, never failed to make him feel things.

It was easy to relax there, seated on the couch while watching a drama on low volume while his husband focused on the crosswords on the Sunday newspaper seated on the other end of the couch. Doing different things, yes, yet somehow together. He shivered thinking about how, lately, it wasn't that hard to cross gazes with him and how much he enjoyed it.

Jimin sighed as he straightened up from his stretched position on the coffee table in order to have another sip of coffee. He ran his fingers through his hair. It felt thin and a bit dry. Maybe he shouldn't have just randomly decided to bleach it blond like a teen in his rebellious phase. Considering he was a 33-year-old adult and a doctor.

Yet the reaction he managed to rip out from everyone, from him, had been worth the hassle.

Jimin squirmed in his seat, suddenly feeling hot all over. Goddamn. He would have liked to crawl out of his skin. He hadn't exactly anticipated feeling like this when he had agreed to this mess.

He looked around admiring how the light of the sunny December day filtered gently through the curtains. His apartment, their apartment, bought with their respective saved money, as per Jimin’s insistence, was spacious enough for six people to comfortably live in, but that wasn't the best trait.

Their status could have required an even larger and better-situated place, but Jimin had fallen in love with it the moment he saw the park and the river that could be seen from the then bare living room. The view was a pretty mix of urban and green and Jimin had to have it.

He had been happy, even in their circumstances, to have such a place to call his own. Even though he had to use his parent's money, which he definitely had never wanted to, being granted a mortgage would have been impossible given his status.

But now that they were two married gene carriers, a lot of things would become affordable. That was the main reason why he had given in in the end after all.

Despite this being a modern age and the world being in peaceful times, the biology between the humans and gene carriers were different. It was an unwritten rule that nobody would ever rely on any unmated omega or alpha. Unmated alphas and omegas were seen as unreliable and unpredictable, too easily swept away by unsettled hormones. It wasn't entirely true because, with suppressants and pills, unmated gene carriers could still lead pretty normal lives. But that was the paradigm and not even all the money owned by his “future CEO” husband could change that.

Their union hadn't exactly been a merry one but it had been decided with an awareness of the reality of their relationship and there was a strong will from both parties. Yet when his new husband had looked anything but eager at the idea of decorating their place, because it was the proof of a life needed to be shared, it had made Jimin frustrated by the decision they had just made.

He hadn't blinked when Jimin had asked to be the one in charge of the decorations and the renovations, and had let the interior design agency just follow along and not lead. And he had seemed completely unapologetic to leave all the decisions and tasks to Jimin even though this was his house too. He didn't care that it was taking a toll on Jimin and was hindering his free time.

Jimin had stopped himself from protesting many times because after all, he had been the one to insist on doing it, even though back then he hadn't imagined his partner's complete lack of interest and willingness.

Yet when the latter got angry for having been interrupted in his work because Jimin had forgotten that was the day their bedrooms' furniture was delivered, Jimin lashed out.

“I told you that it was better to leave it to the design agency but you decided you wanted to play house and now you have the nerve to get offended by my reaction? I told you that it was on you!”

“Yes, you did. And I didn't ask for your help, did I? Sorry for getting my schedule tangled, but it could have happened to the best of us. You know this, yet you’re reacting like a neanderthal!”

“My job is hard and demanding!”

“And mine isn't? I have my fair share of difficulties too!”

“Please, what difficulties are you talking about? You don't deal every day with the pressure of sealing million dollar deals! ”

It hadn't been the words even though those alone would be enough of a sting. It was the tone that he had used. Spiteful, arrogant. Degrading. Self-important.

Jimin saw the regret soon after those words had left his husband's lips but it was too late.

“You know what? Fuck you. You can sleep on the floor for all I care!” Jimin spat back before storming out of the room, unable to stay there and have his husband's apologetic face in front of his eyes.

He had promised. When that farce of their engagement arranged by their families had in the end led to their marriage, Jimin had asked just for one thing. To never be reproached for his life's choices, for his income, or lack of public recognition. And  he  had promised. He had promised that even though he couldn't love him he would always respect him.

Logically, Jimin knew he had to swallow that moment down and try to find a compromise. He had never expected things to always run smoothly and really this could be considered a very minor issue.

He shouldn't be bothered by indolence even though he found it childish. No. What hurt him was the indifference and the complete lack of any type of positive feeling at the perspective of life together.

Jimin had hated their arranged marriage as well. But he was trying. He was trying for his family, for himself, and yes, even for him . Because he knew he was a good man.

Jimin took several lungfuls of air and counted to fifty before being able to convince himself to get out of his room. Which still had only the creamy colors he had chosen and nothing else inside.

He calmly opened the door and with careful, slow steps - as if he wanted to make him know he was returning - he went to the main room which was supposed to become a living room.

There, he found that his husband had torn open some of the boxes that contained minor necessities like lamps, bedsheets, and so on as the moving company had only set the furniture with their mattresses still laying in their nylon sheets.

He was there staring at the things Jimin had ordered for his husband's bedroom, as they both had decided to have separate bedrooms for the time being, with a mysterious expression on his face. When Jimin entered the room, he abruptly stood up from his crouched position as if he had been pinched. In two quick strides, he was in front of Jimin.

“They’re blue.”

Jimin raised an eyebrow. That was the last thing he had expected him to say in such a moment. It felt so out of the blue. So unrelated.

That was why he candidly answered back with a polite tone as if the argument had never happened,

“Of course I ordered a blue set. It's your favorite color after all!”

He hadn't expected to be engulfed in a hug as a reply. It was delicate. Like a hug between people who are not used to intimate contact. But it was also warm and gentle.

In a way, it was so Jungkook.

“Thank you,” he whispered. And if he had just said one hundred times sorry it would never be so effective.

Jimin timidly hugged him back, nodding over his shoulder.

After that episode he was no longer left alone to arrange the deliveries and adjustments of their new apartment and, even though Jimin had already planned the layout of all the rooms, he had left out the living room, the one he hoped to dedicate more time to give its splendid position.

So, they decorated it together, they chose the palette and the material of every piece of furniture. The carpet was probed before buying it because both of them liked to sit or lay on it sometimes, and it needed to be the fluffiest.

That room ended up being beautiful, full of pretty things, and with a bright light, yet never hot or blinding. It rapidly became his favorite place to hang out, even more than his own studio or bedroom.

Jimin knew that it wasn't because it was undeniably pretty and comfortable. It was because those walls contained an intent.

Jimin's reflections were interrupted by the sound of a code being typed in and of the main door opening.

He heard him take off his shoes followed by a sigh of contentedness as tired feet met the warm wooden floor. The whole apartment had floor heating since both of them were sensitive to cold.

A couple of seconds later the fluffy black-haired head of Jeon Jungkook, his husband, peered inside the living room. His longish hair was a mess due to the hard exercise and his thin lips looked chapped due to the cold. His sharp nose and cheeks were rosy due to the abrupt temperature change. He still looked lovely, Jimin couldn't help but think.

“Oh, you are up already?” Jungkook asked, genuinely surprised to find him operative at 8 in the morning.

It was true that on the weekend nobody would ever convince him to get out of his bedroom before half-past ten, but they had things to do. They had planned them.

The fact that Jungkook had forgotten it was an indicative factor of his husband's stress. The Christmas holiday couldn't be more welcomed as they both needed room to breathe.

“Don't you remember? We still haven't figured out what to buy for half of your cousins and your mother. We have agreed to go out in the morning for some browsing since in the afternoon we'll have to start packing.”

They had only 3 days left before Christmas and due to their jobs, they were awfully late in their preparations. Furthermore, that was going to be their first Christmas as an officially married couple and both Jimin's family and the Jeon clan were in awfully high spirits.

The Jeon clan. He called it like that in his head because using the word family for defining the group in charge of the AI technology empire as well as one of the richest of the country seemed reductive.

Despite knowing by heart every tiny detail that had led to that outcome, Jimin sometimes couldn't believe that it had happened to him.

Jungkook could have been any other alpha. Jimin could have been any other omega. Yet they fell into each other's paths as if it couldn't have been any other way. Which was ridiculous because Jimin knew that throughout all their childhood and a good part of their respective adolescence, and probably up to the first years of university, they not only actively avoided each other despite their families being very well acquainted, but also have actively disliked each other. And yet. Yet.

Jimin suspected that their parents' excitement for this Christmas family reunion came from some not-so-subtle feeling of guilt and some not well-hidden angst because despite having been married for months no mark marred their necks. Yes, the whole thing of marks was actually something that was pretty much real in their alpha beta omega population and that distinguished them visibly from human couples. Some maintained that it was merely a cultural heritage, others thought that it was something they were liable to do because they were carriers of genes that made them more attuned to their animalistic parts. Jimin, who believed in the power of intellect, was more inclined to the first hypothesis. In any case, given that there wasn't going to be any Christmas miracle that would make them decide to mark each other (as their families desperately wished), they needed to get some especially awesome presents for everyone.

“Ah damn. I forgot. Sorry, I swear it completely left my mind! I was about to go to the office to leave some documents after a quick shower...” Jungkook started but trailed off as soon as he saw Jimin's gaze.

“Jungkook, leaving aside the fact that I had to wake up early on a Saturday morning, you promised. No work during the weekend of Christmas,” Jimin reprimanded him, standing up, and he couldn’t help but bring his hands to his waist like a mother scolding his child.

“Right, you are right. I know. I did plan that with you and I promised. But I swear it will only take me an hour at most, and after that, we can go shopping. Then no work for three days!” Jungkook said, raising his hands like a criminal surrendering to a cop.

Jimin felt the corners of his mouth start to waver and before he knew he was bursting into laughter. Jungkook could be such an endearing child at times.

Ten months ago, when they moved to their apartment and started their life as a married couple, he couldn't have fathomed that bantering with Jungkook like this would be not only normal but easy.  

He was proud of how far they had come together.

Of having reached this warm and easy level of companionship. It hadn't been easy, he still remembered awkward dinners as they both stiffly sat on the far opposite side of their dining table trying to strike up some semblance of a conversation.

When Jimin's laugh died he realized Jungkook had come out from his hiding spot behind the corner and was now smiling at him, just a couple of steps away as he had wanted to get a better look. At what, Jimin didn't know. He hoped it was him. This, of course, was a great deal of wishful thinking even for the Christmas atmosphere.

However, he didn't have the time to blush at the ridiculous assumption, as his nostrils were hit by a delicious and seductive smell Jimin so rarely had the chance to sniff.

Jimin had by no means keen senses when it came to detecting scents, quite the contrary. His nose was weak, so weak that he was barely able to distinguish between omega, alphas and betas, let alone detect the notes of their scents. Yet, due to Jungkook's special condition, even an omega with a genetic failure like his was able to detect his scent. Jungkook had just come from his morning run and he probably hadn't taken his regularizing pills yet, the usual neutralizer probably being weakened by his sweating.

Whatever it was, Jimin was glad to sense again the delicious scent of wild fruit fermenting with a touch of cinnamon. Jimin had never experienced it but those who had had the honor of bumping into Jungkook's natural scent swore that the smell was so potent that it made them feel slightly drunk. Some others went to the extreme to say it caused them headaches and even illness.

The smile on Jungkook's face vanished as soon as he realized he had reacted to his body scent.

“I'll be taking a shower. Sorry,” he blurted out, not even giving Jimin the chance to say anything.

Jimin stood there in the middle of the room, trying hard not to sigh.

It wasn't like Jimin didn't understand.

And maybe it was probably because he did understand so well that he lamented the fact of Jungkook not being able to talk to him.

He understood Jungkook’s need for privacy on this matter. It was something that most people were embarrassed, or even worse, ashamed of. He understood that.

It was the reason why he had specialized in this field when he started medical school. Only a couple of people in a whole auditorium would declare that they want to study endocrinology, and only one or two of them would go for it for real interest and not because their father already had a studio in the center.

Jimin was the one to have a real interest. A real reason.

When it was clear after going through puberty that his problem wasn't going to be fixed, Jimin's family made him take further exams which confirmed his to be a genetic anomaly and not a bad case of teenage hormones.

At that time, Jimin hadn't taken it well.

His family though, took it even worse. They believed that an omega with a defective gland whose low production of hormones was barely enough to give him the status of omega - and not even a distinctive scent - was damned to a life of abandon and solitude.

It shouldn't be like that, at all. There were plenty of humans who lived without the whole roller coaster of pheromones just fine. It was a fact. Even though as an omega he would biologically seek an alpha partner, his defective gland would reduce this craving and make it bearable. He refused to let himself succumb to genetics. He could still fall in love like anyone else and he could still be loved like any other normal human being.

And even if he wouldn't be given the opportunity, he would always have himself, his life, his friends. He could still experience a life of fulfillment. Jimin could do it. His parents hadn't shared his same faith and had taken things into their own hands.

“We know you can do it Jimin, you are strong. That doesn't mean we want to see you suffer. Your life will be difficult at best.”

There was some truth in that since unmated genes carriers were already frowned upon, a defective one could only be outcast among their people unless he decided to live hiding his true identity. Jimin couldn't deny that despite his stubbornness, he was scared.

When Jimin's parents found out about Jungkook’s condition, they felt like it was the blessing they had been waiting for. Sadly enough, Jungkook's parents had thought the same when they found out about Jimin.

Endocrinology of alphas betas and omegas was still an under-researched subject. For a long time, there was a sort of taboo in going to analyze and interfere in the chemical reactions of bodies, that, unlike humans, were heavily subjected to those.

If Jimin could understand where this came from (the idea of enhancing pheromones or stopping them sounded iffy) he also knew that, thanks to this dated reasoning, a lot of people had been suffering for a long time for their imperfect conditions.

It was also utterly ridiculous the bias even some doctors had, that they encouraged omegas to take care of their biology but not alphas. 

In his career he had bumped into many unfortunate alphas who had suffered through their conditions with guilt, choosing to suppress their symptoms with scent neutralizers rather than finding the medicine that could help them ease into their circumstances.

Then you have rare cases like Jungkook, whose hyper-productivity of alpha pheromones, no matter how much the press had marketed him with the pompous name of super alpha , had de facto made Jungkook's life a living nightmare.

Jungkook had never once stepped even by mistake out of their house without having showered in scent neutralizers. Jimin, as a doctor, deeply despised the latter as they didn't have any medical ratio and put people who used them in danger.

He had never actively discussed the topic with Jungkook though, it was a very sensitive nerve especially when - for his whole life - Jungkook had been deeply misunderstood due to his condition.

A person like him so enhanced must have found it difficult to go through puberty with all the overload of scents and pheromones, as he was not only an alpha with a potent scent and a high production of pheromones but also an alpha particularly sensitive to both. 

Some things were unavoidable despite how much they hurt. People couldn't have understood why Jungkook retreated from everyone or why he was so brass in judging who could be close to him and who couldn't. Given his status and wealthiness, people would logically think he was arrogant or that he had an attitude.

Sometimes Jimin asked himself if that had been his bias too if Jungkook had kept his distance from him all their lives for that reason. But that would make sense if Jimin were actually normal. A normal omega with a normal scent.

Jimin was not. He barely even smelled.

Then why? Why had Jeon Jungkook always made sure there was a distance between them until the inevitable brought them together?

Jimin knew the Jeon family very well. Their respective families had been close acquaintances since Jimin could remember as Jimin’s father and the Jeon head of the family had attended the same schools.

Even though they had, later on, taken very different paths as Jeon was the heir of a technology company and Jimin's father the son of a good yet modest manufacturing company, they still frequented each other and had somehow maintained contact often enough for it to be called a friendship.

However, their families had gotten the chance to become closer only when the kids came into the picture.

Having not one but both their kids as same-age friends made them think a deeper mingle could benefit them. Jeon senior especially was very invested in having his sons mix with kids of their age but with a more down-to-earth environment and had encouraged the blossoming of a friendship.

Out of all the deals Jeon senior had managed to arrange in his life, that one probably revealed to be his biggest failure.

Jimin hadn't quite disliked Junghyun, he could even go as far as to call him an acquaintance. He admired Junghyun's brain and Junghyun could even be fun occasionally. But he was a bit too aware of his intelligence and also too sure of his status as an alpha for Jimin's liking. Yet when forced to group together, they could still play video games together or go out biking without anyone having to fear they would jump at each other’s throats.

The same couldn't be said for their two younger brothers as Jungkook and Jihyun deeply despised each other. Time would prove that in the end Jungkook and Jihyun were only being two insufferable baby alphas with an unhealthy strive for competition. It took them a decade for those two to settle down and become the best of friends. As pre-teens though, every chance seemed to go to waste if they weren't pulling each other's hair.

Jimin and Junghyun couldn't have been happier to start high school and leave those two with their wild hormones behind. As they were enrolled in different high schools, they didn't have many chances to meet and given that as adolescents they had plenty of excuses to pull off to avoid weird family dinners, Jimin hadn't seen the Jeon brothers for a long time.

That is until Jungkook had mysteriously decided to enroll in a different high school than his older brother, ending up in Jimin's school.

Jimin's school was by no means bad, actually it was one of the best in the district. Yet it certainly couldn't compare with the luxury of a private school. 

Jimin remembered clearly their first pitiful encounter (he wished he didn’t). 

His parents had insisted he go greet Jeon Jungkook directly at his classroom, which was something that Jimin as a senior refused to do. Yet if he found Jungkook by coincidence he thought that there was no harm in going there to greet him. The school had just started and the first-year kids were in the courtyard reserved for their p.e. lessons. Jimin was passing by, moving from the lab building to his classroom. 

Jimin was sixteen back then, he was also slowly starting to understand that there was something off going on with his body. He had always thought of himself as aloof even as a teen but he too had his doubts and questions.

He would forever remember the moment he walked by the court, his eyes casually falling on this kid with messy jet-black hair and big eyes and immediately recognizing Jungkook. 

Jimin called his name then, greeting him with a wave of his hand and a smile.

Jungkook didn’t even flinch. He kept staring at him as if it was the first time his eyes landed on Jimin then he scrunched up his nose like the most horrible scent ever had hit his nostrils, and turned away not acknowledging him. As if they were two strangers.

Jimin almost tripped on his feet from the shock. But even if he stalled for a few seconds there, Jungkook’s back remained turned. He forgot completely about going back to his classroom and fled instead to the bathroom. He hastily ran towards one of the stalls locking himself inside.

With his heart beating, he started to sniff himself. The collar of his t-shirt, his wrists, he even went that far as to smell his armpits. But nothing. Only the faint smell of the deodorant he wore that morning. For a moment he had thought, he had hoped, his scent had come out. The doctor had told him not to worry. He was going through puberty, having hits or misses of pheromones was supposed to be normal even though Jimin had only experienced misses.

But nothing. Not a trace of such a thing. 

Puzzled, he had gone back to the class but for the whole day nobody had given any type of reaction to him, he even went that far as to intentionally rub himself on his classmates. Nothing.

When the bell rang at the end of his lessons Jimin felt like an idiot.

There was only one explanation of Jungkook’s behavior. The kid was a little shit and that wasn't meant as a term of endearment but a fact. 

He suddenly felt so outraged by such bratty and rude behavior that after that day Jimin made sure to avoid any reason to be in the other’s presence. Until he was able to forget his entire existence.

Then Jeon Junghyun and him found themselves enrolled in the same medical school and Jimin got himself heavily embroiled into the Jeons once again.

Jimin was trying hard not to get upset a day before their trip. It would only result in an awkward five hours of driving and no way to escape, so he wasn't very fond of the experience considering it was his first week of real vacation since their marriage.

He was having a hard time though as Jungkook not only had forgotten their morning schedule, opting to pass by his workplace; but was currently running late. Jimin had been waiting for Jungkook for twenty solid minutes at their meeting point and Jungkook was nowhere to be seen. 

Jimin's cheeks were surely going to fall off due to the cold.

To think that he had even woken up earlier for the occasion.

He sighed, burying his face in the collar of his jacket in an attempt to shield himself from the unforgiving cold.

It wasn't like he didn't understand how demanding Jungkook's job was. Back then, when it was clear they were both heading towards a marriage, one they had both agreed upon but neither had believed would happen, they sat by a coffee table at Jimin's favorite coffee shop and they discussed terms.

To a stranger, it might sound cold, no more different than two businessmen trying to level each respective side to seal a deal. It wasn't like that at all.

Jimin and Jungkook had more or less been acquaintances for two decades, having started to hang out more or less often, and mostly thanks to their brothers, in college, but they were by no means strangers. Sure, they had always kept each other at arm’s length but despite some childish episodes, they didn't have hard feelings towards each other.

Even without his brother's Jihyun biased point of view, who considered Jungkook one of the best alphas out there (funny how they used to rip each other’s hair at ten just to become attached to the hip at seventeen), Jimin respected Jungkook. He had come to admire him even.

Despite being born privileged, he never slacked off. He aced all his academics till he graduated with a business and management degree; gracefully stepped in his older brother shoes when it became clear the latter didn't have any interest in pursuing a career in the family business; never had any nasty rumor, actually any rumor at all, about flings or hookups despite having tons of people launching at him first for being a Jeon and second for that fairytale of him being some sort of super alpha. And that without even considering his extremely good looks.

Jungkook was by any definition and point of view a proper and very put-together man. As a mate candidate, Jimin had nothing to complain about. The thing was though, that until they were encouraged, they never had been each other’s interest and not for lack of opportunities. 

Jungkook had always sent self-sufficient vibes towards Jimin, barely giving him the time of the day even though he was clearly capable of joking around and being funny when their circle of friends and relatives pushed the two of them together.

For a time, Jimin wondered why Jungkook had even agreed to get along with their parents. Had their respective special physiological condition been the decisive factor when fathoming a partner? 

Then again, he hadn't fancied Jungkook either and had never imagined this to be their chosen outcome.

Somehow though, they happened. And so, like the grown adults they were, they decided to stop ignoring the elephant in the room and talk, sincerely talk, about their expectations. That was how they found themselves sitting in front of each other at a coffee table barely thirty days before the ceremony. 

“I don't want to hide behind my job. And I will always try my best to keep it from hindering this relationship,” Jungkook said the words as if it cost him even thinking about it. “Yet eventually, despite my best efforts, I will happen to run late to some meeting; to cancel a previous set appointment or even forget a date. Of course I will always apologize for that and make it up to you for it. But for this to work, I need you to be understanding. I don't want it to become the reason we fight.”  I had seen more than enough , he didn't say the last part but it was evident in his tired tone. Jimin stared at him in the eyes and for once Jungkook didn't look away like he usually did.

“I know you are a busy person. I am aware. I can't promise you I won't ever get irritated because I can't vouch for my future self and neither for the future circumstances. What if you deserve the scolding?” Jimin tried to joke to lighten up the mood a bit. Jungkook was a tough cookie to crack though.

“Jungkook, I understand what it’s like having a job that absorbs most of your time. Maybe I'm not running a company but I work too. So if I promise you now that I will do my best to always respect the circumstances of your job, will you promise me you will respect mine?” Jimin asked, raising an eyebrow. Jungkook was not the only one with an agenda.

“I promise.”

“Jimin!” called a breathless voice from his left interrupting his thoughts. 

One of the pleasant surprises Jimin had found out from adult Jeon Jungkook was that he wasn't nearly as perfect as the image they had built around him. Back in college, the times he had seen him the most, Jungkook was the alpha every omega, beta and normal human being wanted to hop on. And after they have graduated the media has enhanced this image with that ridiculous super alpha tale, to the point that it was hard for Jimin to reconnect this new image to the Jungkook he knew. Considering Jihyun was his best friend, Jungkook could only be equally part of idiotic and bratty like his dear brother.

Yes, Jungkook liked to wear a horrible gray suit for jogging, probably the same one he used in college because he just couldn't bother with fashion. His hair could reach several levels of unkempt and when he was in a hurry, he did look in a hurry, out of breath and coat with the hems inward. Jimin imagined his personal assistant was the one responsible for his neat look. He couldn't deny, he really couldn't at this point, the pleasure he felt every time he witnessed this silly human and so endearing side of Jungkook. Like the Jungkook who had just stopped in front of him. 

“You are late!” he exclaimed, crossing his arms over his chest. “You are right. I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Jungkook pleaded with his hands joined.  

“You are going to pay for our lunch and just so you know, all this waiting made me very hungry,” he conceded. Weak. He was too weak to this Jungkook. Unable to help himself, he got closer to him to adjust Jungkook’s coat collar.

His husband fidgeted under his care but it wasn’t a bad fidgeting, but more like the flustering of having someone that makes you nervous, close to you. Or so Jimin liked to believe. 

“I tried to be as fast as possible,” he murmured apologetically to Jimin. “Now my phone is turned off though and nothing will bother us anymore,” he said, grinning like a child.

Jimin had to look away to avoid showing how endearing he found that smile. 

“Good. Let's go then, I'm freezing. I thought my nose was going to fall off,” he grumbled, marching like a soldier down the shopping streets, his husband trailing behind. 

Jungkook was rich and Jimin was wealthy, so they could have ordered their families’ presents online or hired someone to do it for them. Yet neither of them had even thought of not doing it themselves.

Jimin loved the air of festivity Christmas brought with it. Believer or not there was something beautiful in the million’s lights, the flashy and sometimes tacky decorations, and the stupid Christmas songs that floated around every time you stepped inside a shop. 

Jungkook seemed to love it just as much and, deep down, they both knew it was just an excuse to spend some time together.

They had had their share of ups and downs and this wasn’t what anyone would ever consider a romantic union, but they were trying. They were trying to make space for each other.

“If you ever feel like this is too much,” Jungkook began, for the first time betraying some nervousness. He had acted all collected for the whole duration of their small coffee date and seeing him show such deep emotion made Jimin feel funny even though he had always considered him one of his unavoidable evils. He felt the urge to immediately put him out of his misery. 

“It already is too much, Jungkook. Yet here I am and so you are. I'm not scared of you Jeon Jungkook,” Jimin declared, waving his eyebrows. It was stronger than him, he hated the heavy atmosphere so if he needed to act silly he volunteered as a tribute. Jungkook chuckled and then a graceful smile lingered there for a moment. It was the first genuine smile Jungkook had ever directed at him as far as Jimin remembered.

Eventually, they decided to split up. Jimin had to go pick up an ordered action figure in the toy store, whereas Jungkook wanted to go check the shop that sold silk scarfs and cashmere to see if there was something that his mother would like.

These weren't presents meant to show off (the Jeons could easily gift each other a helicopter if they wanted) but they were supposed to be thoughtful and special in that way it showed you care.

Surprisingly money has never been the best trait of the Jeon family, their best quality was the sincere affection they had for one another. Despite the many things that along the years had tried to taint the family bonds, they had managed to stay healthy as a family. Which was something pretty much rare the more you go up in the societal pyramid.

Jimin wasn’t exactly happy that his marriage was arranged, but he knew he was lucky that the person he married ended up being Jungkook.

Staying by Jungkook's side every day, and being able to get to know who he was as a person, had dramatically changed the impression he had had of Jungkook all his life.

And really, he wasn't made of ice. It was hard, very hard, not to melt under the warmth that was Jungkook's personality.     

He could feel how, with every passing day, more of his feelings were slipping from his grasp. It scared him. They had agreed to make this marriage tolerable, comfortable if they could. They had never talked about further development. About love. 

Jimin shoved that thought in the far corner of his mind. It was completely useless at the moment. So he went to the shop, retrieved the action figure, not without thanking the cashier for having found it. 

His nephew was enamored with them and this one in particular had been hard to track down. Jimin however had a card under his sleeve as his friend Namjoon, a fanatic of action figures, directed him to the person that could help him be successful. 

He hurried out with the gift secured in a plastic bag and for good measure tacked under his coat. It had started to snow and he didn't want to risk ruining it.

He walked towards the shop Jungkook had told him he would visit. Hopefully, he had already found the present for his mother even though considering how perfectionist he was, he was probably still going through every single scarf the shop had to offer.

When Jimin entered the shop, he found all the shop's assistants already busy with some customers. A little bit lost, he took the stairs to the second level to check if Jungkook was there. The sound of chattering and eager fumbling was a sure giveaway and when Jimin reached the level, he indeed saw dozens of open boxes and any sort of scarves laid on the shop desk. He was also hit by a wave of pheromones even his defective senses could detect. 

The shop assistant, a female omega past his thirties with nothing like youth to shield her,

 flaunting his scent here and there. When his eyes landed on Jungkook’s stiff pose, Jimin’s heart broke. Letting aside how ill-advised and inappropriate it was to hit on a customer, Jungkook was currently hurting. No matter how many pills Jungkook took, there was nothing that could subdue his senses. Even in the unlikely case that Jungkook fancied her, he couldn’t help but be overwhelmed. For him to not have stormed from there showed just how much he cared to buy that gift for his mother.

And possibly how much he was used to going through situations that hurt him.

“Jungkook,” Jimin called him, quickly covering the distance between them. “Ah Jimin, there you are,” and there was clear relief in his voice and softness and something else that made his knees weak especially when Jungkook extended his hand for Jimin to grab. 

It was then that he noticed that his hands were still gloved.

“Maybe my husband can help me accelerate the choosing process,” Jungkook commented, startling the shop assistant. With no mark on his neck and with his gloves hiding the wedding ring, of course someone could assume that Jungkook was free. 

But it didn't matter if Jungkook was taken or not. The fact that people used their biological weapons to harass others wasn't just extremely inconsiderate but rude.

Jimin saw the young woman retreating, her pheromones dampening down considerably. He had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

“But he smelled so right, I just knew he was the one, then why didn't it work?”

“I had to be with him, her scent was screaming to me!”

“I sniffed her interest right away!”

He had heard variations of these phrases so many times as a student and later on as an adult, and every time Jimin couldn't help but feel like bursting out laughing.

They called it a biological imperative, the one that drew an alpha and an omega together for mating.

To an extent, it was true that their biology worked with pheromones and scents and a type of chemical attraction normal humans would never understand. Yet what everyone failed to understand was that a biological pull was hardly an imperative. And it didn’t come with either promises or excuses.

And above all, it wasn’t a fool proof means, as a fantastic scent didn't necessarily come with a fantastic personality, and the most attractive scent of the world couldn't guarantee for the person to be decent.

People trusted their noses too much, but didn't even bother to notice the rest, as in the person in front of you feeling uncomfortable with your advances.

Then again though, he couldn’t help but think, if he were able to successfully scent a person, Jungkook would carry with him the proof that he already had an omega by his side. And he wouldn't need to suffer.

“Sure, I can do that. What do you think if we go for a creamy color?” Jimin commented trying to pass over the accident. He would have reported the woman to her boss if it weren't that she was the boss in that place goddamn. So unprofessional.

They have talked about bond marking and they had both agreed it was something neither of them was ready to commit to.

Marks didn't change anything in their biology, but it would change how people perceived them and would represent the sign of a long-lasting commitment. Jimin hadn't wanted that and Jungkook had agreed with him. But he was starting to realize that with no scents and no marks to show off, they looked like two strangers casually sharing the same space. He hadn’t anticipated the feeling of regret.

They ended up settling for a pink rose color with some blue, something that suited both their taste and that would surely compliment Jungkook’s mother. They made the woman wrap the gift in a pretty box which she did as fast her fingers would allow once it was clear she had just embarrassed herself.

But just when the gift had been handed to them in a bright bag, instead of hurrying out of there Jungkook stalled.

“Now that I think about it, I will take the orange one, the one that looks like autumn scenery.”

“Wait Jungkook, don't you think a scarf for your mum is more than enough?” Jimin asked, tilting his head amused.

“Of course. I'm not buying it for her, but for you. I think you would look lovely in it.” Jimin was rendered speechless and blushing and Jungkook seemed to be enjoying that reaction. 

It would be so much easier for his heart if Jungkook were just the bare minimum tolerable. But no. He wasn't just a decent man but also a kind one. And even when in the past he wouldn’t give Jimin the time of the day, his good heart had come out. Maybe that was why his coldness had irked him so much. Because he was aware of what Jungkook could do. 

Winter was Jimin's favorite season. He loved the snow, he loved wearing coats and above all he loved having the excuse of the cold to wolf down liters of hot chocolate. However, that was threatening to go out of the window the morning Jimin woke up to a city slandered by the snowstorm. The storm hadn't only sent into chaos the subways and train lines but had also managed to kill his car. It would be a nuisance yet it wouldn't still be fine if it weren't that he had to take an exam a couple of hours later (the one that would determine if he could enter his specialization or not).

He should have come back to campus, he told himself in deep despair. But he had already skipped the Christmas holidays with his family in order to study. He couldn't skip his grandma's birthday too, and he had to admit his parents' house was definitely warmer and more comfortable than his college room, even with the brats there. Jihyun and Jungkook had been going on a marathon of Overwatch the last couple of days and they had exited Jihyun's room just that morning with eye bags so deep they looked like make-up for a vampire movie.

Jimin had envied them to death all those days even if he hated overwatch. Those two weren't slacking students, quite the opposite yet they had so much free time. Medical school was a nightmare.

In any case, none of that mattered now that he was in front of a dead car. He had woken up pretty early because he had feared the traffic, and besides the anxiety was eating him alive, but that time advantage was useless if that pile of metal scrap didn't work.

Think think think Park Jimin, useless carcass. But his parents had already gone to work and Jihyun's car was currently at the mechanics. How was he going to make it?

He muffled a scream in his gloves as he kicked the wheel in frustration just to end up with a bruised toe.

That was how Jungkook found him, jumping on one foot as he shouted curses. A fascinating picture he bet.

“Am I interrupting some weird ritual?”

Ah so you acknowledge me that I'm at my worst, after having avoided me like the plague and not even looked me in the eyes once even though we shared the same roof for the last couple of days? Jimin thought. He ended up saying something else of course.

“Oh shut up! My car is dead and I won't ever be able to make it on time for my exam, so unless you’re suggesting a solution, refrain from talking to me!” Jimin spat out angrily. But as he was saying those words, the situation sank into him again and he found himself fighting to suppress a wail. He gave another kick to the car even though his toe hurt like hell.

He ended up falling on his butt and pathetically whimpering.

When he turned to face Jungkook expecting him to be doubled in half in laughter or even worse looking at him like he were a bug, he found him instead with a solemn serious expression on his face.

“Actually. Maybe I have an idea, “ he said, teeth tormenting his bottom lip. He straightened up abruptly, making Jimin jolt for the surprise. “You stay here and wait!”

“Jungkook what..?” Jimin shouted back trying to get up. His jeans were all wet and dirtied by grayish snow. Bleah.

“I'll be back! Just wait there!” Jungkook shouted without turning before disappearing just behind the corner.

Jimin was left there, alone. He was pretty sure Jungkook was just on his sneakers and didn't even have a jacket on him. What the heck was he up to?

For a moment he considered the possibility to go running himself too and try to reach the closest train station in that mess of snow and ice. He stayed rooted there.

Somehow he weirdly found himself insanely bound to trust Jeon Jungkook whatever he was trying to do at that moment. Besides, he didn't have too much of a choice.

Yet when thirty solid minutes had ticked by and of Jungkook there was still no trace, Jimin was starting to think if he had just been delusional. He had been standing there for half an hour with his butt wet for his previous fall and his nose red for the cold. He had had enough.

“Goddamn,” he gritted between his teeth before starting to run in the direction of the train station. The next time he would meet the brat he was going to kick his ass but for the time being, he was going to run the race of his life.

He managed to cover 200 meters, puffs of cold breaths coming out of his mouth when the startling roaring sound of a superior engine followed by a honk made him stop on his tracks almost painfully so. He could feel his knees wobble.

A Ferrari, a flaming red Ferrari, was coming at him at high speed just to abruptly stop barely one-meter spare from him. Jimin almost fell on his butt again.

How big was the shock of seeing the face of Jungkook appear behind the lowering glass window.

“Hop on!” he commanded but Jimin was too startled to convince his legs to cooperate and move.

“What the heck Jungkook? How did you even get your hands on that!”

“I might have broken into the mechanics' garage. I knew dad had sent one of his Ferraris to the shop near here for maintenance.”

“ You did what?” Jimin shouted. “Are you out of your mind? They will report you for robbery!”

“I was under the impression you were in a hurry or not?” Jungkook asked between gritted teeth.

“Yes, holy shit yes, but...” Jungkook glared at him. Jimin winced. They were going to be in a lot of trouble but since Jimin was indeed in a hurry he ran to the passenger seat, yanked open the door, and got in.

“I'm his son so this car is also technically mine. How much trouble can I get into?” he resumed their little chat as the car sprinted forward before Jimin had the time to put on the belt.

“I would put my seat belt on if I were you,” Jungkook pointed out, causing Jimin to blush furiously in irritation. You didn't even give me time, moron.

He opted otherwise since Jungkook was doing him a favor. The moment his belt clicked the car sprinted forward as if it were a jet. His yelp of surprise made Jungkook not only laugh but cackle. He is doing you a favor. He is doing you a favor.

Jimin not only arrived perfectly before time but he also discovered that Jungkook was a terrific driver (and probably an insane one).

“Next time, I'll drive,” Jimin spat out as soon as he stepped out of the car. Jungkook laughed again making him almost blush. It was so rare having this Jungkook in front of him.

His exam went well despite the mishap. He later found out though that Jungkook was almost arrested and only his father's intervention had stopped things from taking an ugly turn. The story miraculously didn't manage to reach the press and Jungkook was forgiven in the end. He was grounded at his parental penthouse for three months though.

Jimin had gone more than once to the Jeon penthouse to apologize, saying it was his fault but the Jeons never wanted to hear any. “I know he was trying to help you and I would have authorized him myself if only he had bothered to ask.”

Jimin still felt dejected above all because he never had the chance to thank him in person. Why had Jungkook gone so out of his way to help him? Had he done it just because of the spirit of adventure? Just because.

“Of course he had done it for you, stupid brother,” Jihyun commented once leaving Jimin speechless.

Whatever the truth was, Jimin made sure to send him the biggest bouquet on his birthday. Jungkook had never said a word about having received them. Until years later during their move, he found the thank you card he had written tucked inside one of the boxes.

“Jungkook, without you I would have never made it. From the deepest of my heart, thank you. Jimin.”

On the day of their leave, the morning welcomed them with a white scenery.

Despite the preparations made by the municipality, the amount of snow had exceeded any weather prediction as the streets didn't exactly look in good shape. Jimin asked himself if the storm that lulled him into sleep the night before, was what had made him dream of that particular episode of the past.

The sense of Deja Vu felt strong when he opened the curtains of his bedroom. Everywhere his eyes landed, was covered in a thick white blanket. He could almost hear the sound of brakes screeching on the muddy and snowed asphalt as a red flaming Ferrari stopped in front of him.

“I was under the impression you were running late. ”

Now that he wasn't rushed by the time ticking he had to admit Jungkook that moment had looked kinda hot. Jimin huffed, closing the curtains. Yes, Jungkook was hot. He was also unfairly kind and a lot of other things Jimin shouldn't be thinking. Please brain, spare me. The heart has already betrayed me.

Having decided on what to wear the night before (high collar pullover to cover his unblemished neck of course) Jimin was quick to get ready and not even twenty minutes later he was padding to the kitchen. Always the early riser, Jungkook was already there preparing their breakfast.

“Good morning,” he said with a light and sweet tone of voice. Jimin almost tumbled on his own feet.

Something that Jimin got to discover only after getting married, was that Jungkook was a lot softer than what he liked people to believe. It was unfair really, how kind he could be with those he allowed close to him. Probably as much cold as he could be with people he didn't consider.

Jimin, if anything, had known this beforehand as he used to be one of the latter.

His heart clenched under his rib cages. The thought of being ever put back in that slot caused him physical pain.

When. How. In which exact second, how in the heck, I managed to let myself get into you so deep? Are you stupid Park Jimin?

“You are lucky today I felt like cooking pancakes. They are extra fluffy just like you like them,” Jungkook commented as he served him a full dish with whipped cream and chocolate over the top. He even flashed him one of his oh so rare precious smiles.

“Oh you don't have any idea how honored I feel to receive this precious dish directly from Jeon Jungkook's hands,” Jimin joked, bringing a hand over the left side of his chest and squeezing his pullover as he went to take a seat at the dining table. If being a clown was the only weapon he had hit rock bottom.

Jungkook rolled his eyes at his antics making Jimin giggle.

One of the other things Jimin had discovered of Jungkook was how chill and relaxed he actually was out of his Jeon heir persona. Jimin was a witty person full of sarcastic jokes and a lot of people got really put off by his brass sense of humor. It wasn't his fault he had a soft appearance and neither had he asked to be an omega genes carrier so he wasn't the type to bend who he was under the deluded expectations of people who judged him only from how he looked.

If having this personality has certainly benefited him as he had been a single omega trying to pursue a career, it had also made his love life scarce if not deserted. The alphas that passed over his lack of scent didn't find with his ambitions, and the humans weren't any better in this regard.

At the beginning of their relationship, Jimin had assumed Jungkook was going to jump from the window on day two, his big ego unable to manage his sass. After all, he had always had this suffering expression on his face every time they had happened to be alone in the same room.

It turned out Jungkook didn't mind, and Jimin would even venture to say that Jungkook quite enjoyed their banter.

In the months living together, they had plenty of fights, some more serious that involved even some shouting, and some more for the sake of it, just to see how much bullshit they were able to take out of their asses in order to win an argument.

Jimin loved antagonizing and Jungkook loved to get back at him. He vaguely asked himself if this would have reflected in their sex lives if they had one with one another.

Jimin swallowed the first bites trying to distract himself from his thoughts. Yet his eyes couldn't help but roam over Jungkook's body who was seated on the other part of the table munching his share of pancakes unaware of his lewd considerations. For some reason, though Jungkook thought it was a good idea to look at him too, and when their eyes met, Jimin choked on a piece of pancake.

“Hey here. Take some water,” Jungkook said, pouring him a glass. Jimin gulped down half of it trying to collect himself.

He shouldn't. He definitely shouldn't. He should never even entertain that thought ever. Because they were never going to be like that, that was what they decided. When he looked up Jungkook was looking at him with softness and Jimin almost choked a second time.

“Thank you. I'm getting older and I can't even swallow like a functional human being,” Jimin joked, squeezing out a smile. Jungkook was still looking at him though, usually he would use that chance to tease him but he wasn't doing any of that. He was looking at Jimin as he was contemplating something. Jimin straightened in his seat trying not to squirm under that scrutiny.

He saw Jungkook wet his thin lips with all the air of a person who is struggling to say something and is still roaming in his head for the right words. He saw Jungkook's arm stretch over the table, gently moving aside his breakfast while doing so as if it was suddenly something completely unimportant. His fingers went to rest on Jimin's wrist.

“Are you sure you want to g...”

Jimin's phone that had been lying forgotten on the table started to vibrate loudly. Jimin turned toward it, the name “Jungkook's mom” flashing on the display.

Jimin glanced back at Jungkook apologetically. Jungkook nodded, retreating his arm. Jimin felt like he was missing something too big.

“Hello!” he chirped on the phone before putting the speaker on loud. Jungkook's family has always been nice. Even before finding in Jimin the perfect match for their son, the Jeon family has never felt cold or overbearing despite their social status.

Jimin should have been grateful for having such caring in-laws, however, he couldn't deny that it made it difficult to say no to them.

Having Jungkook sticking completely on his side when they drew the line on how deep their meddling would run though had helped. They made it clear that they were agreeing on marrying each other but as for when or if they would mate, well that was something only Jimin and Jungkook were to decide.

Jungkook's mother had called to know if they had already left so they knew when to expect them. After having updated her and exchanged some other pleasantries, Jimin was quick to hang up. He looked at Jungkook hoping he would resume what he had left hanging, but Jungkook went back to finish his breakfast without adding anything else and Jimin knew that whatever it was, he would never find out.

They clearly had some communication issues as neither of them ever poked the other into spilling the beans even when it was clear something was going on.

The thing was that with time, somehow, the time spent together in this house, felt so much as a sanctuary that aside from the bickering and meaningless fights people who live together went through, they didn't want to wander in uncharted territory.

Deep down they were afraid it could escalate into something they weren't ready for.

After they were done eating, Jimin offered to clean the dishes since Jungkook had cooked but the latter adamantly refused to insist for Jimin to go wait and relax until he was done.

Of course Jimin who still couldn't shake from himself the sensation of something pending and being a person who just couldn't lie idle went to retrieve their bags and decided one-sidedly he was going to load the car by himself.

He was particularly proud that Jungkook managed to find out only when he had already loaded them into the elevator and that was nothing he could do but protest as the elevator doors closed behind Jimin.

Jungkook had this habit of wanting to always take care of everything, so used to being in control that he didn't know when to let go. He wasn't saying that Jungkook wasn't naturally nurturing but that his role as Jeon heir had exploited this trait of his. He wasn't a simple workaholic. He really cared about his work at Jeon technologies. Which made it so hard to stay angry at him when he got sucked into it.

Jimin sighed. Was it natural for him to wish he could help him bear the burden of responsibilities? As they were married it was to be expected, but Jimin knew he was starting to want a lot more. He had enough guts to admit it to himself. As for Jungkook, that was a different story. Jungkook had never promised anything other than his commitment and hadn't asked anything in return other than the same. It was all on Jimin. Him and his brain. And his heart. And his stupid feelings.

And. The elevator's doors opened with a ding.

Jimin exited on autopilot dragging all the packs and the two trolleys towards their garage. For his sanity, he decided to focus on his task and nothing else.

He systematically started to fill in the trunk of his car (it was more spacious and less flashy than Jungkook's one and Jimin this time had stayed on his ground until Jungkook gave in) so everything could fit in nicely. He was extra careful with putting on the tops the most fragile presents.

He grabbed one last small bag which was narrow enough to lie in the small space between the two trolleys when he noticed it wasn't zipped completely. Shaking his head to his husband's rare slip of the mind, Jimin went to zip the thing when his eyes unintentionally peeked on the name of the thing that could be seen from the little opening. His blood froze. Unable to help himself and not wanting to believe his eyes, instead of sealing the bag, he zipped it open.

It was a brand of suppressants and next to it at least a dozen different scent neutralizers, the most aggressive of them. Jimin had to physically refrain himself from taking that bag and tossing it in the first trash bin he found.

He was an endocrinology doctor, he knew the subject like the back of his hand. He had treated patients with a condition similar to Jungkook even though he mostly had omega patients, but they were the ones encouraged to talk about their biological issues, unlike the alphas.

He would never prescribe suppressants to someone with Jungkook's medical framework. Suppressants were an extreme measure, doctors with ethic preferred hormones regulating pills or alternative therapies that helped those who suffered from hyperpherormonity to reach a lower level of pheromone release. Suppressants instead, as the word suggested, turned everything off. Even for birth control, it was recommended to use it only for one year at maximum and only on people with no previous conditions. Only people convicted for sexual crimes were prescribed to take it for an indefinite time.

What was Jungkook thinking? Had he gone out of his mind? Wasn't it already bad that he was bathing himself in scent neutralizers now he wanted to take a step further? For what? For a fake sense of normalcy? And at which cost?

If he thought he could do this under Jimins' nose and be left unscathed Jungkook was in for a big surprise.

Am I married to the dumbest alpha ever? Does he have so little faith in me as a doctor that he is purposely doing this behind my back? 

But more than anything why considering Jimin was, his husband, a doctor, a person with a similar condition, he never thought even once to talk to him?

Confused questions kept running wild in his head and even though he wanted nothing more but to march back inside and confront Jungkook about it... he knew it wasn't the right time.

When was it going to be, though? When?

He zipped the bag. He realized he was gripping the bag so hard his knuckles were turning white. He inhaled deeply and then released his breath. His fingers grip relented.

He needed to calm down or the following six hours of driving were going to be tense and awkward. Jimin took a couple more lungfuls of air until he felt his body relax a bit.

He told himself that as a doctor, he would have been irritated with whoever of his patients would resolve to do this. Yet he was aware that this dreadful feeling went way beyond his professional indignation. Because Jungkook was hurting himself.

It was a hard truth to accept and it was threatening to gnaw at him from the inside. It was hurting him too. Knowing this it was hurting him too.

He decided to buy some more time and try to calm down by taking out the car from the garage and parking it in front of their building.

Yet it was hard to face Jungkook and act like nothing had happened once he stepped back into their apartment. But he had to do it.

“You should have waited for me,” Jungkook huffed at his return. Jimin felt his muscles go rigid. Not the time, calm down, he mentally scolded himself.

“Ah I always have to do everything here!” Jimin complained trying his best to keep his tone light and playful. “Next time if you want to be more useful maybe you should let me wash the dishes!” he winked for good measure at a startled Jungkook before disappearing into his bedroom.

“Everything it's loaded so just take your documents and your jacket and we are set to go!” he shouted from the corridor without waiting for his husband's reply.

For once, and only for once, he was glad neither of them had distinguishable scents or Jungkook would have already sniffed his upset state from him.

He asked himself if that was what really was keeping them going. Their ability to hide their immediate reactions and strong state of being due to their conditions so they would never have a real reason to worry, to show angst, sadness, dissatisfaction. Because after all, they kept each other company, they had grown to be comfortable in each other's presence, they had come to care somehow for the other's well-being as they had so wished before they agreed to marry.

But they didn't talk. They didn't share. And Jimin had got it all wrong and had thought that his untamed feelings were the real menace to their peace when they have been living in a house of paper all along.

Anyway, after another banter about who had to drive, won by Jimin because his car his rules, they finally managed to leave. The winter estate of the Jeons was in a beautiful but very private village in the mountains that not even a private airplane could reach so driving there was the only way. However, an hour later they had barely managed to get out of the city, as everyone had decided to put themselves behind a steering wheel on the same day as them. The five hours driving had already turned into six and Jimin was starting to get dejected.

“I think maybe we should try the normal route?” Jungkook suggested after another half an hour passed and the lagging queue of cars on the highway wasn't giving any sign of turning better any time soon.

“Mmm. The weatherman on the radio said it's supposed to snow heavily very soon. What if we get stuck in some forgotten provincial road?” Jimin said, torturing his bottom lip with his teeth in worry.

“Aren't we already stuck though? At least by taking the normal route we can enjoy some scenery. We aren't obligated to stick on any schedule, aren't we on vacation?” Jungkook reasoned with a grin.

It was better for Jimin's sake that Jungkook never found out just how weak he was to his smiles or he wouldn't be able to stand his ground anymore if he used that as a weapon.

“Right,” Jimin said, slurring lazily the r. “Then let's get out of here, I'm sick of seeing only cars,” he said with a gruff that made Jungkook laugh.

Jimin looked at him with the corner of his eyes, a smile finding a way on his face despite the turmoil he was feeling inside. He wished he could bottle up that moment and keep it with him every time he felt a little down. He wished everything could be like that moment of lightness.

Once they managed to exit the highway and get into the normal road that was becoming more and more rural as they got further away from the city, Jimin started to feel his shoulders finally relax a bit.

Jungkook has been right into wanting a change of scenery, it was a lovely view and hopefully, it would distract him and make him forget his recent discovery. His irritation was useful to nobody.

“You are awfully quiet today,” Jungkook commented next to him after a while. Jimin stole a glance at him and met his eyes. Jungkook was staring at him in such a way that were he more self-conscious he would blush.

“If I remember well you once said that I talk so much it was a wonder my patients weren't filing a complaint for verbal harassment.” Jungkook groaned, making Jimin smile cheekily.

“C'mon. I was 22 when I said that, I was obviously a dumb kid,” Jungkook whined. “And how come you remember that out of all the things I said?”

“I recently found out that my memory has a bias for storing bullshit, in particular those that are spectacular,” Jimin replied, still teasing. “Besides you were 23.”

“Well, I was a dumb 23 year old then. Back then I didn't know how to handle myself in front of people that weren't my closest group of friends. It was easy with them since we basically shared one brain cell. Whereas with you, I tended to blurt things without really thinking too much of the consequences. I always regretted it.”

“Ah so you are saying it was my fault!” Jimin gasped, faking shock.

“No, I'm saying that you can be quite intimidating,” Jungkook replied with nonchalance.

That really took Jimin off guard.

“Excuse me?”

“You were one of the best students in medical school, even Junghyun admitted that and we know how big is the ego of my brother when it comes to academics.”

“Junghyun is a cardio surgeon in the best hospital of the country and you were valedictorian for economics and management. Plus you are both Jeons. I refuse to be tagged as intimidating based on academics and achievements,” Jimin argued. He didn't know why what Jungkook was saying was rubbing him the wrong way.

“This is what I am talking about. This way of yours of speaking with confidence. You never gave a damn that I was Jeon Jungkook. I could be the president and you would still be Park Jimin. You don't have any idea of how cool it makes you.”

“Are you implying that you have given me the cold shoulder for years because you found me too cool to bear?” Jimin asked in disbelief. Jungkook choked on his own spit.

Jimin though didn't intend to let it go and waited patiently for him to elaborate. From where was this coming?

It was supposed to be one of their usual banters. Sure, he might have added a little bit more sarcasm into it but he couldn't imagine he would open a Pandora box.

He didn't even think there was a Pandora box to be opened, to begin with.

Liar, suggested his brain. As if you haven't lied in your bed many nights wondering about what was going on Jungkook's mind. Trying to match the image you had of him with the husband you had by your side now. 

“I...no? Yes? Well it wasn't really just that. I've been confused for all my teens years up to my mid twenties. I started to feel more comfortable in my skin only after college and even then I managed to be a collected adult just recently. I kept at a distance a lot of people for reasons I couldn't explain or accept and you were one of them. I've been admiring you from afar for a long time, I was just too much of a chicken to know how to handle that. Knowing that you looked down on me for something that I had caused, it just made me more self conscious,” he blurted. It was so not him at all that. Jimin was tempted to stop the car and check his medical conditions. “ So yeah. Sorry for having said that about your talking when I was 23.” Jungkook concluded, almost awkwardly.

Jimin was aware he had saucer eyes and that was why he adamantly kept his gaze on the road.

“Ahem, say something?” Jungkook asked after two long minutes had passed and Jimin hadn't said anything.

“I just think it will take a while to digest what you just said and I am not even sure I understood completely. Especially because I was just teasing you and you sprung this on me instead? I am glad at least I confirmed I wasn't imagining your distancing,” Jimin said confusedly, refusing to look at Jungkook. He stared at the road in front of him. It had just started snowing again.

He let out a big sigh. He finally glanced at his side. Jungkook wasn't looking at him either but staring in front of him, rigidly.

“You never told me, not even hinted about something like this,” Jimin murmured, doing his best to keep his voice normal. He suddenly felt vulnerable and touched and confused. And his heart was beating fast.

“You never asked,” Jungkook answered, not unkindly.

“Maybe I was intimidated too, you know,” Jimin muttered under his breath. He sensed some movement on his side.

“We are here nonetheless,” Jimin said with a clearer voice after a while. Then he let out a sigh. “I thank you for your honesty though. I guess now I am allowed to talk your ears out for the rest of my life,” he said, shaking his head.

“You definitely are,” Jungkook answered, his tone of voice impossibly soft. It made Jimin kind of blush as he suppressed yet another sigh threatening to escape his lips.

He had always known there was a wall that kept them from really reaching each other, for far longer than their marriage, probably since they were two teens pettily trying to avoid each other. He just hadn't suspected it could be so high.

The fact that Jungkook might have some type of impressions, emotions, feelings, that regarded him and that Jimin had never even imagined they could be there, left him incredibly appalled. His mind utter chaos. His heart, hopeful.

Which was not good because Jimin was dangerously near the point of no return and if he knew that there could be a chance. He wouldn't be able to stop himself.

After that conversation somehow the air cleared out a bit. Jungkook connected his phone and put some music on shuffle and they commented here and there about the little happenings of the week. Until they inevitably ended up talking about the event of the year. Taehyung's birthday was in less than a week. He was turning 33 and had decided to go all out. They were having fun imagining what could go wrong, because something was going to go wrong whenever Taehyung decided to play, during his birthday.

“If he ends up breaking another action figure of Hoseok's collection I think it's going to be his last,” Jungkook commented, causing Jimin to laugh. They stopped two hours later to have lunch and stretch their muscles. Jungkook offered to switch but Jimin insisted on keeping going as he didn't feel tired at all. This time Jungkook decided not to argue. They resumed the drive once again yet the more they drove further toward their destination, the worst the weather was becoming. At one point the steady snow had transformed into a mini storm. Jimin was proceeding slowly but it was starting to get difficult and Jungkook's usually calm and collected presence wasn't being of any help.

As the time closed inside the car was becoming longer, his mood started to take a funny curve. He looked inexplicably nervous if the leg tapping rhythm on the car carpet was enough of a signal.

“ I think we need a break. Let's wait it out a bit in a cafeteria and refresh ourselves,” Jimin suggested when they reached the hour mark of slow driving in the snow storm.

“But we'll be even later that way. If you are tired, I can drive,” Jungkook suggested instead. That was the moment a particular swirl of wind mixed with snow swapped their car. Jimin had an iron grip on the steering wheel but it was clear there were no decent conditions to drive safely.

“At this rate neither me nor you will be able to keep going,” Jimin argued back.

“It could take forever till it calms down,” Jungkook protested and he sounded too dejected for it to be normal.

“It's a possibility,” Jimin said apologetically.

“I... ok, it's not like we can change the weather conditions. Let's stop at the first dining, resting areA or cafeteria we see along the way,” Jungkook replied nervously passing a hand through his locks. Jimin threw a worried glance at him. He looked nothing like this morning, and not even like two hours ago. He looked tired and Jimin would even go as far as to say he looked sick.

Had he caught a cold during his morning run?

Luckily after twenty minutes or so they found what looked like a cosy diner and Jimin was quick to pull over and park.

They covered themselves from head to toe before braving into that horrible weather.

It was barely 30 m between where they parked and the entrance of the diner, yet when they stepped inside they were all wet, cold, and shivering. They had also ended up clinging to each other. Jimin had buried himself into Jungkook's side and Jungkook had encircled him with an arm.

Despite how cold and wet he was, he felt warm.

They decided to sit on a table next to the radiator as they courageously took off their coats. Jimin ordered a latte whereas Jungkook, the sweet tooth, ordered hot chocolate.

Jimin sipped his coffee trying to regain some energy while Jungkook after wolfing down his hot chocolate decided that he also needed something to eat and ordered some pastries. Yet even though some time passed the storm wasn't giving any indication to stop and as the sun was going down, soon the visibility would get worse.

“It's getting worse,” Jungkook muttered fidgeting on the seat. Jimin had hoped that the break would help Jungkook to ease a bit but he was definitely getting worse.

“Jungkook, you aren't looking very well,” Jimin said, boring his gaze onto him. Jungkook slightly jumped on his seat which made Jimin worry even more.

“I'm fine,” he was quick to reply but they both knew that was a fat lie. “Ok, maybe I'm not fine. But it's nothing to be worried about.”

“You sure? Your eyes look burning,” he pointed out as he went to tack away a lock from Jungkook's forehead. It wasn't an uncommon gesture for them, some closeness between two people sharing the same four walls was unavoidable, even if you happen to be a cold person, which neither of them was. Hasn't Jungkook wiped the corner of Jimin's mouth with a napkin more than once? Yet this time he didn't even manage to reach his temple that Jungkook had jerked away from him.

“Jungkook?” Jimin asked, taken aback. But Jungkook was equally surprised by his reaction, almost frightened.

That was the moment the waitress chose to pass by and take their empty mugs and plates. Jimin smiled and helped her with the clear intent to make her go away quickly. She thanked him with a smile of gratitude as she probably had been going for the whole day and she was by the end of her shift.

Yet suddenly the plates balanced on his wrist threatened to fall. Jimin touched her arm by accident in an attempt to help her but she looked distracted, not paying attention to him at all. Confused, Jimin looked at her frozen state and followed her gaze to see what could have possibly distracted her. His eyes didn't manage to land on the equally frozen figure of Jungkook, that the most seductive and charming scent in the world hit him in full blown. Jimin felt his lips stretch into a dazed smile as he looked at Jungkook. His blood turned cold when his eyes met frightened ones. He was taking into something that he shouldn't. Everybody was taking into something without its owner's will.

“Thank you,” Jimin said to the waitress in what was a clear invite to move away. He didn't care about her feelings. His only focus was just the man in front of him.

“Jungkook, can I check on you?” Jimin asked with care but still in a way that conveyed his determination. Jungkook nodded weakly and it was enough of a signal for Jimin to slip in doctor mode. He checked his pulse, which was quickened, his irises were larger than normal and when he touched, with care, with all the care he could master, the neck gland of Jungkook. He found it swollen.

“You are in a state of hyper-pheromonity I'm afraid,” Jimin said and his words had the same effect on Jungkook as a slap across the face. “We need to get in a private place and lie down until you sweat it off. I don't want you to take anything else until you see a specialist.”

“I can't go around running wild Jimin. I can't. Look I have some emergency medication, I can..”

“No!” Jimin exclaimed, causing Jungkook's brows to furrow. But Jimin wasn't going to give him the chance to speak. Not over this. Not when his well being was at stake.

“If you are referring to those suppressants you carry with you in that blue bag, then it's one hundred times no. Those are the cause of your current state if you have already taken some. And you have, haven't you?” Jimin inquired, suddenly angry. Jungkook though didn't try to avoid his gaze.

“What if I have? It's my body and my problems. I decide how to take care of them. You don't know how it is to have a body that doesn't answer to you.”

“If there's someone who knows, that's me, Jungkook,” Jimin replied with emotion.

“No you don't. You don't!” Jungkook spat back and a waft of his scent washed over Jimin.

“Do you really think that not having any smell it's the only problem I have to deal with? Really? Its lack is just the most evident symptom,” Jimin answered with softness. He wasn't angry at Jungkook, just at his stubbornness. And besides. He knew. He did understand that overwhelming terrifying feeling of not being in control and having people around you hurt you and judge you for that.

Jungkook looked suddenly apologetic and a lot of other things and his hormones were clearly starting to be all over the place. From the corner of his eye, Jimin noticed people starting to stare at them. And he couldn't really give a damn about people, they could go fuck themselves over, but he knew Jungkook cared and he didn't want him in public while on a vulnerable state.

“I don't know if I can handle it, Jimin. I haven't handled it for years,” Jungkook confessed between gritted teeth, fighting to keep control as if his dignity depended on it. He wasn’t even supposed to feel ashamed, to begin with.

“Ok. It's ok, Jungkook” Jimin whispered, taking his hand. Jungkook squeezed back hard but it was nothing Jimin couldn't bear.

“Let's go out of here first,” Jimin added, releasing his hold reluctantly. Jungkook nodded, standing up and wearing his coat even though his cheeks were flushed. He was probably feeling hot. Jimin smiled at him reassuringly as they both headed towards the bar to pay.

“Do you happen to know if there's some place where we can stay the night? I'm afraid that with this weather there's not much driving we can do,” Jimin casually asked the cashier.

“There's a motel but it's in another town. I wouldn't suggest venturing too far in this weather if you aren't familiar with the roads. Besides, we rent some rooms too. Very private if that's what you need,” the cashier offered, looking at Jimin and then moving on to Jungkook with a glint in his eyes. Jungkook held the cashier's gaze seemingly unperturbed.

Jungkook's scent had receded a lot for what Jimin could tell but he knew he couldn't trust his senses. Jimin knew he shouldn't be picky considering that they were kind of in the middle of an emergency, but he still felt annoyance creep under his skin. Jungkook was none of this cashier's business.

“We will take on your offer. Also we would deeply appreciate it if nobody would come to disturb us until we check out,” Jungkook added with a smile, slipping a fat bill to the cashier.

Jimin turned towards Jungkook, ready to say that he didn't mind driving for whatever it took. But then he saw sweat on his temples and whatever he was about to say died in his throat. They didn't have time.

The man nodded delightedly before asking for one of their documents, Jimin gave him his because he didn’t want for this man to do anything if he found out he had Jeon Jungkook under his roof. The man signed his name and then proceeded to give him one set of keys.

“Wait,” tried to protest Jungkook but Jimin didn't let him.

“Thank you sir, now if you can show us the way!” Jimin exclaimed, ushering Jungkook out of the diner.

It turned out there was a row of bungalows behind the building and even if it meant having to venture in the cold to retrieve their trolleys or go back to the diner to eat, at least it secured them the comfort and privacy they needed. Jungkook trailed behind them and Jimin knew he wasn't happy with Jimin's decision of sharing the same space. Luckily he was too self conscious at that moment to fight in front of a stranger.

Jimin tried not to take Jungkook's refusal at heart even though it was hard to digest how Jungkook even after all that time, even when knowing Jimin was a professional and mindful of his boundaries, didn't seem to trust him.

“You should go and wash yourself, you are probably running a fever and a shower will help you,” Jimin recommended. Jungkook seemed ready to argue but then he saw Jimin's hand on the doorknob and nodded. He looked relieved at the thought of him leaving and Jimin felt bad for misguiding him, to make him think he would leave him to himself. Any other time Jimin would comply with Jungkook's need for privacy, but not now, not until he saw Jungkook back to health. Jimin was worried about the extent of the suppressants' side effects, but more than anything he was worried Jungkook might try to take them again. Jungkook could hate him all he wanted but Jimin wasn't going to abandon him.

Raising the hems of his coat, he decided to go out and brave through the storm. The first thing he needed to do was go back to the diner and buy a lot of water bottles; then he had to park their car closer or dragging their bags would be even more difficult. And not before finding a couple of minutes to call their parents and tell them to not expect them until the morning after. This task risked turning especially tricky because his parents could sniff a lie from miles away. He tried his best then to keep his tone of voice even and light as he complained about how bad the weather was. He wouldn't have wanted to lie to them but explaining to them the situation would only make them worry and make Jungkook nervous. Both their families were great but it was a fact that they never really understood their conditions and their way of helping them, even though done with good intentions, had at times caused more harm than relief.

Jimin came back to the cabin in an unpleasant state of cold and sweat. Cold because the wind had frozen the skin that managed to touch, and sweaty because dragging two trolleys and a maxi package of water bottles in the middle of that weather felt like dragging tons of bricks. Yet he felt relieved that at least from the practical part they were set. He shook the snow out of his coat and proceeded to take off his now wet shoes. He had just finished peeling off his clothes , leaving himself in just a t-shirt, and spreading them on the radiator so they could dry off when Jungkook came out of the bathroom with his bare chest and the jeans he was wearing before. He was dabbing his wet hair with a towel and looked soft even though flushed.

His relaxed state vanished the moment he noticed Jimin standing a couple of steps away from him.

Jimin on his part had his hand frozen mid-air, lips parted in surprise because he wasn't expecting to see Jungkook's bare skin.

“I thought you left,” Jungkook started almost accusingly. Jimin bit the inside of his cheek. He was about to keep his ground even though it was definitely going to upset Jungkook.

“I only went to retrieve our bags. I would never abandon you in these conditions, Jungkook,” Jimin replied. He didn't dare to move, he didn't want to invade Jungkook's space more than he had just done.

“You don't need to feel obligated to be here, doctor or not. There are other bungalows and I bet most of them are unoccupied,” Jungkook argued back. He looked like a trapped wild animal and the sight squeezed into Jimin's heart.

“I'm a doctor, yes, and I wouldn't ever leave anyone that doesn't feel well, but I'm not here because of my duty. I'm here because I care for you,” Jimin concluded, attempting a smile.

“I care for you too!” Jungkook spat back almost with violence. Jimin tried not to flinch under the rawness impregnated in those words. “That's why I'm telling you to go!” Jimin closed his eyes as a waft of pheromones hit him in full force. Yet when he reopened them again, Jungkook looked anything but threatening

“Sorry,” Jungkook apologized with a voice that expressed nothing but pain.

“You shouldn't be the one apologizing. I'm the one who is robbing your scent,” Jimin said, looking him straight in the eyes. Jungkook looked dumbstruck.

“I know that if it were up to you, if this could go according to your will, you would never want for people to sense your scent when you don't want to, with the same striking desperation that I feel when I try my best for people to notice mine just to fail.”

Jimin saw him clench and unclench his hands in fists. When he talked though, he was once again rigid and folded.

“You don't get it. It's not about shame, anger or any other thing I might feel. My feelings stopped mattering a long time ago,” Jungkook said, throwing the towel in one of the abandoned chairs. “I hurt people. My scent is so overwhelming that people can't stand it. And this is only the beginning, Jimin. It will get worse. And if you can sense it...” Jungkook said, yet as soon as he realized how his words could be interpreted, his eyes widened in surprise and regret.

Jimin smiled.

“If even a defective omega like me with broken senses and no scent could feel you, then what, Jungkook?”

“You aren't the abnormal one,” Jungkook whispered. Jimin dared to take some steps closer to him and since Jungkook didn't react he went even closer until they were so close it would be enough half a stride to be just under Jungkook's nose.

“Oh but I am. I am and as much as I was resentful of it I couldn't change it no matter how much I tried and wished and prayed. And then I understood. I understood this condition is part of me and as such, I refuse to hate it,” he said with sternness. “Yet, I would stay to take care of you even if I were born differently, but then again, given the circumstances, I'm glad that my conditions make it easy for me to fulfill that intent. That I can be close to you.”

It was selfish, it was such an insanely selfish thing to say because Jungkook should have been able to choose who to marry, whom to spend his life with and yet he was stuck with Jimin and Jimin shouldn't feel about that, happy to be a defective omega because it meant being able to stay by Jungkook's side without the latter having to worry about hurting him.

Jungkook seemed too shocked by his words to be able to reply and Jimin used that moment to guide him to the bed and check again his vitals signs.

“Your pulse is still accelerated, but your temperature feels better,” Jimin said, trying his best to act as if he hadn't just made a semi declaration with his words. Jungkook nodded absentmindedly, looking at him with such a burning intensity Jimin felt like blushing.

In any case, he didn't seem able to speak his mind, for the time being, so accepted the shirt Jimin handed him to wear without saying anything and didn't even protest when Jimin suggested he’d lay down as they waited for his symptoms to settle or get worse.

They got worse, of course. The relief the shower brought to Jungkook was fast to vanish. He started to sweat once again and the fever came back, harsher and more annoying than before. Jimin made him drink water bottle after water bottle drawing paths on his back to calm him down. And when Jungkook a couple of hours later ran to the bathroom to empty his stomach, Jimin was there to flush the toilet for him and help him dab his face with a wet cloth.

Jimin tried his best to be of help and at the same time he asked himself just how much hurt and issues Jungkook had been carrying all by himself all along, to go as far as to poison himself in an attempt to get rid of his conditions.

“There's nothing wrong with you,” Jimin whispered to Jungkook as he laid down on the bed, exhausted but unable to fall asleep. Jimin had just helped him change into another t-shirt after the first one was ruined with sweat and stains of vomit and now was caressing his head, fingers threading in soft locks.

“Jimin,” Jungkook called looking at him with misty eyes. Jimin was about to ask him if there was something he needed but then, Jungkook encircled his wrist with a feverish warm finger and brought it to his nose, and inhaled deeply.

Jimin's breath hitched loudly in his throat.

“It's orange flowers, and spices and the sweetest note of vanilla,” Jungkook whispered, his tone impossibly low. “That's the scent I sense every time I am near to you,” Jimin gasped in shock, his limbs feeling disconnected. It couldn't be. It couldn't. But he saw Jungkook's nose down his wrist as if he was appreciating a bouquet of flowers. His lips were barely pressing on the skin yet Jimin could feel them. They burnt.

“It has always been clear to me since I was a kid and when I grew up as my senses developed exponentially, it was so bad to be almost unbearable. Because it was so good it drove me mad. It was like a secret lullaby that sang only for me. No matter how many drugs or scent blockers I wear, my heightened senses have always been able to feel you,” Jungkook confessed. “My favorite scent in the world was on you and it was so unfair. You couldn't be more perfect than you already were, I thought when I was lucky if you glanced my way just once. So if I weren't going to look my way you weren't to look my way at my conditions. I kept my distance from you as much as I possibly could even when it was hard. But then our families arranged our marriage, and I couldn't stand it. How ironic for destiny to grant us biology that suits each other well. It wasn't right for you to end up with me and still I took the opportunity. I told myself I wouldn't stop you from leaving if you wanted and I was more than once ready to tell you to go myself. I never did though. I'm sorry I couldn't help my reaction to you,” Jungkook concluded with deep emotion.

He freed Jimin and sank back on the bed bracing for Jimin's reaction. Jimin bit his lips hard, desperately trying to put some order in his head because what Jungkook had just said, changed everything. What this idiot had just admitted was...

“Why did you take those suppressants Jungkook?” Jimin asked, voice hard.

“Years of masking my scent are finally reaching me. It was getting harder and harder to keep my body under control so a couple of weeks ago I went to see a doctor who told me episodes like scenting boosts or hormone alterations might start to occur. I was terrified. Suddenly a weekend with my parents and six hours in a small space scared me to death. I didn't want to take the risk and have you trapped with me during one of my episodes. Also I was scared that if it happened you would find out how I felt for you from my scent. Feelings have weight and I never wanted to impose mine on you. Guess in the end my great plan backfired on me?”Jungkook said, almost laughing, yet that laugh sounded too bitter.

Jimin took a big breath then. He tried to count to twenty but he knew it was to no avail. He couldn't believe his own ears.

“Are you stupid? Are you really that stupid Jeon Jungkook? ”Jimin shouted, almost growled. Jungkook's eyes opened alarmed.

“Do you even know how dangerous that was? You hurt yourself! And for what? I understand you feeling uncomfortable because God only knows I've been feeling like that for a long time too, but going that far just because of me? Never. I will never allow it! All this time, all these years wondering why you kept me at arm's length and it turns out it was because you felt something for me?” Jimin shouted in anger and he hated to feel tears burning at the corners of his eyes. All that time wasted, all that time spent punishing each other and for what?

Because they were born the way they were born? “The only thing I ever wanted was for people to acknowledge me, for you to finally see me!”Jimin exclaimed, almost desperate.

“I see you! I have always seen you!” Jungkook said frantically, rising from the bed to be at his eye level.

“I have always seen you too! Even when I thought I hated you. Even when I thought you hated me. Even when I thought you deserved more than this arranged marriage with me, you were the only one I could see.” Jimin said, covering his face with his hands.

It was like a dam collapsing and tons of water had come down on him. Jimin realised then, that all these long years he had been waiting to hear these words and he had been waiting to hear them come from Jungkook. This man whose presence and even more whose absence, since he was a kid up until he became an adult, had hit his fragile heart.

He felt arms then, arms encircling him, they felt feverish but Jimin didn't care, he had been feeling cold all his life after all.

Jungkook kissed his head then, tentatively, shyly but Jimin let him, accepting that warmth. And so Jungkook's burning lips went to kiss his fingers and when he managed to pry away his hands he kissed his nose, his cheeks and when it was too much for Jimin and he went to hide his face in the crook of Jungkook's neck, the latter just hugged him tighter.

“I'm sorry. I'm sorry for taking so long. For being such a coward, for being...”

“Don't you dare be so dumb anymore Jeon Jungkook.”

“You say as if it were something possible,” Jungkook said with a chuckle. But his voice sounded pitched and wobbled too. Jimin hugged him back.

The night at the cabin was long with Jungkook alternating phases where he felt almost normal to episodes where he felt horrible. Furthermore after their confession, their interactions felt shy and a bit awkward. It felt too early and too raw. The lonely days and nights felt still heavy on their hearts.

Neither of them had wanted the arranged marriage despite having gone through it willingly. What they hadn't known then, was that their reluctance came from disliking the way they were coming together rather than the person in front of them.

The dawn came and the sun filtering through the window saw two sleepy forms tangled together, the alpha with his nose buried in the omega's chest and the omega nose buried in the alpha's hair.

It saw Jungkook cradled in between Jimin's arms.

He had been lazing off, books and piles of papers set aside so he could rest his left cheek on the desk, when it finally hit him.

He hadn't wavered when his parents told him it was set; he hadn't shaken when he had been invited to his birthday as his intended even though they had never spent birthdays with each other since they were ten; and he hadn't certainly given a damn for the past couple of weeks as he had too many important things to do, like slaving off on mid term assignments.

At that point, he thought he would have never given a damn.

He had been blatantly lying to himself, as twenty minutes ago his brain had had enough of his emotional mutiny and had decided to unload on him everything he had pushed back. He hadn't been able to move a muscle since, even though the wood surface felt cold on the skin and the position was starting to get uncomfortable.

He was engaged to Jeon Jungkook.

It wasn't like he hadn't known it was going to happen. This hadn't been an out of the blue decision of his parents. They had been hinting about arranging a partner for him since he was nineteen and the diagnosis of the doctor had been final.

Jimin was never going to bloom into a complete omega. His genes had betrayed him in the worst possible way, awakening barely enough to not be a normal human, but not enough to give him a scent, a cycle, anything that made omegas, well, omegas. He was literally a gene carrier and nothing else.

If he lacked the essential, how was he ever supposed to find a match among his similars? His parents had made sure to take the matter into their care.

He didn't know how to feel about it. He knew though that dead weight was a fitting term for him.

A loud knock on the door made him jolt so violently his knee bumped into the wooden table.

“Taehyung, not now! Come later!” Jimin shouted distractedly as he cursed under his breath. “Goddamn it hurts like bitch,” he muttered while massaging his knee.

“Ahem. It's Jungkook,” said the voice from the other part of the door after noisily clearing his voice. Jimin stood up so abruptly he managed to topple the chair and further kill his knee in one move.

The curses and the noise must have been enough to convince Jungkook to open the door and peek inside.

He found Jimin limping near the desk.

“Do you want me to come back?” Jungkook asked with his perfectly chiseled eyebrow raised. He looked slightly amused and whatever nervousness Jimin had been feeling, was immediately replaced with annoyance.

“No. Later I will be even busier. Come in. I mean you are already in but well,” Jimin gestured annoyed and that seemed to cancel Jungkook's hilarity from his face and make his brows furrow.

Jimin winced. The kid was a brat but didn't deserve the brunt of his foul mood. Considering he was a victim too in this whole mess.

“Don't mind me so much. I'm just moody. Take a seat,” Jimin said with a tone he wished sounded less grouchy.

Jungkook reluctantly stepped in and sat by the small couch in front of his desk.

Then they looked at each other and suddenly the small student apartment of Jimin felt too small and the air too saturated with what they wanted to say and didn't know where to begin.

“I thought I knew what I wanted to say,” Jungkook started after a while, obviously annoyed by himself. His shoulders looked tense but overall he was the friendliest Jimin had ever seen him. He looked somehow different.

“The gravity of it just hit me like, twenty minutes ago. So I guess you have your shit together more than me,” Jimin said leaning on the desk and trying to relax. Somehow seeing Jungkook showing real emotions made him want to let his guard down. A bit. Just a bit. After all, this was still Jeon Jungkook. The young man had never given him the time of day despite their lives being intertwined almost ridiculously (for god's sake, he and Jihyun were attached to the hip). And now they were engaged. The irony.

“I guess I'm not used to letting myself be overwhelmed by things. The few times it happened, it was always a disaster,” Jungkook replied, frowning. Jimin asked himself for a moment how it would feel being in Jungkook's shoes. To have a scent so overpowering that every second of your life had to be calculated or anyone could sniff the sensations from you. The thought was terrifying.

“You don't owe me anything, Jungkook, ” Jimin said, dragging the ball in his court. “As luck would have it, we happen to have opposite genes malfunctions. And somehow our parents, who were friends for half of their lives, saw in our conditions something. It didn't have any meaning until they decided it had.”

“So extremely convenient for us Jeon, wasn't it?” Jungkook remarked, causing Jimin's mouth to open in surprise. This deal surely solved the concerns about the Jeon legacy but it favored Jimin's career as well. It would open for him many doors as a gene carrier with a partner. Why did Jungkook sound so angry about it?

“I asked my family for the engagement to never be made public unless and if we decide so,” Jungkook added as Jimin's eyes widened. “Maybe now you think there's an advantage for the both of us, or maybe you think we are young and that we have a shit-ton of time or I don't know... but I feel like wanting to have more than time in our hands. This engagement must be merely a backup plan and not the other way around, so if you ever find someone you love you can forget about this, I...”

“Thank you,” Jimin interrupted him, touched in the best way. Jungkook was probably doing this for himself as well, but coming here to tell him in person hadn't been needed. Yet he came. Jungkook looked away as he was suddenly having a hard time dealing with his emotions.

He stood up abruptly and Jimin had never felt like in that moment something important was slipping away from his finger. He also knew that the next time they would see each other he would be the usual Jeon Jungkook.

And as he accompanied him to the door, Jimin asked himself if maybe he had seen this from the wrong way, if maybe Jungkook was doing this for someone else. If maybe he had found someone he loved but that somehow, for some reason, it wasn't enough to refuse the engagement.

“Jungkook, are you already..?” He almost dared to ask but when Jungkook turned to face him he had already slipped into the cold expression he usually wore when Jimin was around and the question died in his throat.

“No. Nothing,” he said, shaking his head. Jungkook nodded and without further ado, he walked away. Jimin found himself looking at him until he saw him disappearing behind the corner and then closed the door. Jimin sighed as he asked himself what type of person was the one that had supposedly managed to pierce through that iron-made core.

They parked in front Jungkook 's parents' house just in time for lunch. They were exhausted and disarranged and yet more at ease than they both had been in a while. In years maybe.

Jungkook was again bouncing his thighs in nervousness. They had called Jungkook's doctor to see how to proceed and after a severe scolding, the doctor agreed with Jimin that Jungkook had to refrain from taking any type of pills or scent blockers for at least two weeks. Despite understanding the necessity, Jungkook had freaked out.

He hadn't let anyone smell him since he had turned seventeen. Knowing that he had brought this upon himself with his behavior, was probably making him feel worse.

This time Jimin didn't hesitate to take Jungkook's hand and Jungkook didn't hesitate to squeeze back.

“It's going to be fine. They are our family and they love us. They love you. Nobody will ever reject you just because you smell stronger,” Jimin said with all the honesty and all the softness he could master. “Besides cinnamon and wine blend perfectly with the Christmas' atmosphere! We would be the envy of every Christmas candle shop!” Jimin added with a cheerful tone.

A tiny smile made its way on Jungkook's face and Jimin swore in that moment that acting like a buffoon would make Jungkook feel at ease he was going to make sure to be as ridiculous as he could be for the whole weekend. Dignity be damned.

Then Jungkook finally lifted his head and their eyes met, Jimin breath hitched.

Jungkook had never looked at him like that. With unbearable softness, delight, and longing. He felt hot all over and he knew he was probably blushing like a high school girl at his first crush. But maybe he was a high school girl in front of his first secret crush.

He wanted to be pissed at Jungkook for having hidden this from him for all this time but how could he when he had learned to know just how gentle his heart was?

“I'm just sorry that for my fault everyone will be...”

In a leap of liquid courage, Jimin leaned in and kissed Jungkook on the cheek. The gesture was enough to render Jungkook completely speechless, his beautiful dark eyes widening in stupor.

“Stop it. I don't want to hear it. Sure you did something dumb. And sure I am prohibiting you to be that dumb again, but your condition is not your fault. Don't feel apologetic to be yourself. It's unfair. Especially since I came to be rather fond of you being you,” Jimin confessed, lips quivering for the emotion as he finally was allowed to say what he had been thinking, feeling, for a while now.

It was his turn to be surprised when Jungkook's hand caressed his cheek looking at him with something akin to fascination, before leaning in. His eyes stayed open wide for just a couple of seconds before his eyelashes fluttered shut. Jungkook's lips were bruised and hot. And so addicting.

“Sorry... I..” Jungkook whispered, starting to retreat. Jimin didn't let him. It was his turn then to plant a kiss on Jungkook's lips.

Jungkook responded immediately and he gasped trying to catch air because it was too good and too much all at once. They resumed their kissing soon enough.

A cascade of raspberry and grapes scent fell upon him and yet it wasn't that what was inebriating him. It was Jungkook. It was having him close, it was having him at last.

“Uncle Jungkook, uncle Jimin! We were waiting for you forever! What are you doing?” Jimin and Jungkook parted abruptly as small fists knocked on the car windows. Junghyun's daughter Jieun and Jihyun's son Jihoon, had decided to give them their personal welcoming.

“Augghh, I think they were kissing! I'm going to puke!”

“Noo! Uncle Jungkook was giving CPR! At school they said you do it lips to lips!

Really? Double ugh!”

“Uncles, come out! It's cold! And I want to play, the other uncles are old and boring!”

“Coming, coming!” Jimin said in between laughter while Jungkook was blushing embarrassed to have been seen.

“Kids, I told you to wait! Besides, what have I told you about knocking on the windows?” came the voice of Jeon Junghyun.

“Dad, dad! Uncle Jungkook was giving uncle Jimin CPR! I saw it!” that though ended up making Jimin blush and Jungkook cackle in turn.

They went out and as soon as they did it the kids jumped on them. Junghyun had his arms crossed with a smirk adorning his face. Jimin feigned ignorance while that traitor of Jungkook couldn't stop giggling.

Their hands though immediately found each other, as if it was something they had done for a hundred times or maybe like something they had wished to do for another thousand.

They had a lot to discuss, things to fix, and wounds to patch. But they had time and they could do it together. Without saying anything, yet with a lighter heart, they walked towards the main house.