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You held out the elegantly wrapped gift towards Thrawn, a sheepish smile plastered on your face, and a hint of a blush. While you’d generally gifted each other surprise caf’s and snacks through your three months of working together, this was something entirely new.
Thrawn’s face lit in slight surprise. “Oh? What’s this?” He tentatively took the small box. Looking between you and the ribbon for confirmation, he gingerly pulled on one of the ends.
You promptly clasped your hands behind your back again nervously and swayed on your heels. You surreptitiously watched his expression as he flipped back the tissue paper and revealed the gift.
Thrawn’s eyes glittered as he understood what this item was. He knew of it from your home world, a traditional family broach that signified romantic intent towards someone. If the person accepted, they would keep the airloom until, and if, the two partners choose to move on. He didn’t realize that it was still in practice. But, perhaps it wasn’t, and it was merely a gift for him to add to his collection? No. He flipped the broach over in his palm. It was of your family’s style.
Thrawn cleared his throat, realizing you had been waiting for a reaction from him. “It’s very beautiful.”
The warmth traveled down your neck and you looked down, not knowing where to aim your focus, because looking at him surely wasn’t helping.
Another beat of silence.
Was he going to say anything else? Surely he understood what this was. Or maybe, by some crazy stroke of luck, you’d somehow topped his knowledge?
“I-it’s…” You began, filling the void.
“I know what it is.” He looked down at the broach again and ran his thumb across one of the patterns. “Is this your intent… towards me?” His voice turned soft and he lifted his gaze to meet yours.
You swallowed thickly. “Yes. It is. If you’ll have me.” You were now holding your thumb so tight you thought it would break.
Thrawn gently placed the broach back in the wrapping, and closed the little box. He seemed to take a deep breath. “I assume that you’ve come to this conclusion during our close working environment, and the many personal breakthroughs and growth you have achieved while working together.”
Your expression shifted to something akin to confusion. “Well… yes. We have spent a lot of time together. During that time, I realized that we work well together, not just professionally. You understand me like no one else ever has, you’re kind, patient, generous, and quite handsome I might add. You’ve given me so much perspective.” As if your blush couldn’t deepen any further, but you supposed it was all best out in the open.
Thrawn seemed to smirk, ignoring the compliment all together. “You do understand that those are the bare minimum requirements in a partner, correct?”
“Hey- I didn’t come in here to extol your virtues so you could tease me about having feelings for you.” Your eyebrows knitted and you glared at the box in his hand, willing it back into your possession. But his words still stung, and you were somewhat surprised. You’d seen him turn cold towards others, but because of his attitude towards you, you’d never thought he could shut you out. The morning caf, the extra sweets from his personal stash to get through long work days together, the soft touches on your shoulder. You weren’t imagining it, were you?
“I apologize, I am not teasing you. I would merely like to point out, that while on this project I have seen you attain such heights in self-development - professionally and personally - that I believe your feelings to be misplaced. I think you may be attributing your recent successes to my presence, given the current circumstances, and not within yourself. However, I do appreciate the sentiment, Curator.” He gently held the box back towards you, expression and voice softening once again.
You hesitantly took the gift back, and sniffed, looking down at his boot. Tears threatened to spill from your eyes. “I-I see. I thought that -” You cleared your throat and chanced a glance up at him. “I thought that you might… hold some small interest at least.” Your fingernail dug into the cardboard box as you clutched it harder, realizing the final hopeful words falling from your mouth.
Thrawn let out a soft breath. “I consider you a great friend, and an irreplaceable part of my collected existence.”
You winced and almost laughed. That was about the biggest letdown you might have ever heard.
You steeled yourself and sighed, meeting his eyes possibly for the last time. “You should really work on your rejection lines, Grand Admiral.”
That drew another smirk from him and he held out his hand. “I’ll work on them, just in case there are any other misunderstandings I need to clear up in the future.”
You grasped his hand in a gentle handshake and began to turn when his grip hardened slightly. “Hm?”
“Give yourself more credit, you can stand on your own merits.” He let go of your hand. “Take care, Curator.”
You nodded, his words still lilting through your head, and headed for the door.
The Admirals' words stuck with you for several days after as you traveled back to your home planet. You’d taken all he had to offer, learned so much from him, and thought his kindness and generosity were something completely unique to you. Silly, silly little human. You realized now that your rose-tinted glasses had worn off, that he was that way towards everyone on his crew. He truly tried to bring out the best in everyone. Was that why he did what he did? Was he some obscure zenith prophecy brought to life? How could one individual be so selfless? Now you weren’t sure if you loved him even more for this revelation, or felt bad for him. He kept giving and giving and giving, and he never let himself receive.
You sighed, and made up your mind. When you landed, you’d write up a short apology note, something he’d appreciate being kept curt, and then automatically schedule monthly drops of his favorite chocolate covered sweet. Take that and stuff it you big blue bastard.