Chapter Text
Sunny couldn't sleep.
It was the first time in a long time. Normally, anytime he was awake for more than an hour and did anything, he'd get dizzy. He'd stumble. He had passed out a couple times doing chores and just accepted it. He was out all day today, and a lot had happened. Him and Basil almost drowned. He saw Hero again. Sunny had just dealt with a massive hallucination episode on the stairs. He wanted to sleep. Why couldn't he sleep? He stared at the ceiling.
Walk. He never did. Maybe once his body realized he had no energy or muscle he'd pass out and get to go back to whitespace. It was about 12:30. It might be dangerous if he went outside this late. Kel took his knife, but there was a smaller steak knife left in one of the drawers. It wasn't the best, but it was enough.
Sunny inhaled the cool summer air as he opened his door for the 3rd time in 4 years. He would open his window sometimes in his room, but it would have to be pitch black or he'd see...something. It was bad.
He didn't know where he was going but his legs felt numb as he looked up at the moon. The knife scraped against the fabric in his short pocket as he walked. Maybe he could get a harness or something. In his dreams it never mattered. The only time the knife hurt him was when he'd stab himself awake.
Sunny closed his eyes and started to run. Where? He had no idea. He went left and up to the park. Maybe it would be enough to stress him out and faint. Kel would probably find him or something in the morning. There were some homeless people, but they didn't really do much. The cats were nice.
Sunny's eyes were drawn to the hangout spot. He'd be alone there. It was still scary. He almost died there yesterday, but maybe he'd handle the fear better when he'd inevitably be dragged by Kel there tomorrow. The leaves rustled loudly as the wind picked up. Sunny stood at the edge of the dock. He wasn't scared of drowning anymore, but his legs still wobbled.
He looked down at the reflection of the lake. It looked almost black apart from the sparkling on the waters surface of the moon. Sunny always thought it was interesting how the moonlight was actually just the suns reflection.
He focused and saw his own reflection in the water. The dark made it unclear. Sunny stumbled backward as he saw Mari, pale under the waters surface.
"You should have drowned. You and Basil. You cannot escape this." The reflection morphed into Basil- no, a stranger. Sunny ran from the dock and tripped over a stray yo-yo on the ground. Why? Why was this happening? Why couldn't he just sleep? He was starting to make choked crying noises deep in his throat as he felt the stranger staring at him, reminding him of everything he hated about himself.
Sunny shifted his leg to stand back up in a hurry. The knife poked into his leg, barely away from breaking his skin. He kneeled and took the knife out. He felt lucid. This wasn't real. Maybe he was in black space early.
He'd be better of dead. Sunny thought that for awhile. Maybe in heaven, he could see Mari. No. He wasn't going up there. He didn't deserve it.
Sunny stood back up and faced the stranger.
"Why not? You will never face the truth. You can't even recall what happened. Your negative slew of hatred for yourself is all that remains, and your desire to die. I wanted you to recover. But you're hopeless." The strangers words burned Sunnys throat. He was right.
He was just...sick of it. Kel wouldn't miss him. Aubrey wouldn't miss him. Hero wouldn't miss him. His mom definitely wouldn't. They barely tried over the years. He wanted to see the truth, first. He needed to sleep. He needed to finish the path of headspace before he could. He didn't know how.
Sunny calmed down.
The stranger disappeared.
He needed to see. Sunny let himself feel his emotions for the first time in a long time. Omori usually let him avoid them, but he'd been up way longer than he'd been in years. His brain had to actually work.
He tried a few things. He laid on the edge of the dock and let the blood rush to his head, then sat up suddenly. Yay, dizziness. Maybe he'd pass out. Nope. He ran a few laps around the lake. It just made him out of breath. Sunny laid on the dock and looked up for awhile, at nothing. There's no way out of this. He needed to die.
He sat on the dock again, and decided to try choking himself. It started to make him dizzy, but he lost his grip before he passed out.
Sunny moved to the grass. Aubrey and the hooligans would probably find his corpse tomorrow, but it wouldn't happen if he was underwater. He moved to the grass, crouching down, and held out his knife in front of his stomach.
He pulled back.
"WHAT THE HELL?"
Kel. What? He was in pajamas.
Sunny missed.
He stabbed the ground.
He started to cry and ran from Kel, pulling out his knife. He was falling into the lake. Sunny gripped his knife and swung wildly in the water. He didn't know what he was doing, everything felt like it was going extremely fast and super slow. He held his breath naturally when he fell in.
Kel would save him. He couldn’t let him.
He hesitated for a bit, then inhaled deeply and let himself drown. It burned. He saw the wobbly and blurred light of the moon shining under the surface. His vision quickly went dark. Sunny put his knife back and smiled.
He would see Mari again.