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“Why did you say yes?”
Her breath halted in her throat. Looking at him, she was surprised to find that they had the same question for each other. She scanned over his face, tilting her head up to find his dark hair, tan skin, and striking brown eyes. His face was bunched up in a tight lipped frown. She could only look down, fighting the tears that threatened to glide down her cheeks.
Thoughts ran through her head. It was so hard to pick just one to focus on. It was like there was a storm of paper planes and cranes flooding her consciousness and it was making it so hard to breathe.
Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Breathe. Inhale. Exh-
“Answer my question.”
With a sharp inhale, she met his eyes again. Brown clashing with brown. She opened her mouth and could only muster a snarky remark.
“Why did you say yes? Why don’t we answer each other? When did we stop talking?”
She caught him off guard. It’s clear. Now it’s his turn to take a step back and look down at his feet.
There was so much to think about when it came to this question. Why did she say yes? Why did he say yes? The circumstances surrounding the two were initially joyous, yet here they found themselves in the middle of a tragic confrontation. No more joy. No more happiness at the sight of each other. Just unanswered questions.
She initially told him about her feelings towards him. A junior of his by two years, she was very brave. Yet, she knew, they both knew, that there was no way he could return the feelings in a manner that was healthy, non-predatory, or good for each other. Why did he say yes to her offer? This was three years ago but she still had that question swimming in her head. Why did he say yes?
But wait, why was he asking her the same question? What had she said yes to? Didn’t she propose first?
Quickly looking up she found that she didn’t have to tilt her head so much. Instead finding his head placed in a spot perfect for her arms to comfortably reach up to. His face was different but still held the same dark hair, tan skin, and brown eyes. Still, with a different face, his expression was the same. Tight lipped frown. Perhaps his brows looked a bit more knitted together.
“What?”
She could only ask that one question as her throat tightened even more. Her anxiety spiking through the roof as she starts to hyperventilate.
“This is just as hard for me as it is for you, confronting you like this,” he spit out of his mouth.
It seems like there were eons and miles between her and this new man. Yet, she sensed a much deeper connection between the two of them. Maybe that’s why the rift between them was so cavernous.
BREATHE. Inhale. Exhale.
“Why are you here? I thought I made it clear there was nothing more we had to talk about,” the words slipping through her mouth like it was as natural as the sun rising and setting.
Her brows furrowing, she suddenly remembered the awful magic and sorcery that this man before her was capable of.
Whisking her off her feet, giving her all of the affection she could ever ask for. Giving her gifts and serenading her. Holding her and giving himself to the inner workings of her being. His attempts at removing her deeper sadness was, however, futile and volatile. Violent on her mind and yelling at her when his spells didn’t work. Telling her it was her fault instead of his own, unwilling to admit his magic was weak and frivolous. She could not remember a moment where she had screamed at someone so desperately before.
Tears were now waterfalls down her face as she bravely stood before this man. Knowing his tricks well, she shuts her mouth and allows him to take center stage as he chants his spells.
“You know there is so much we need to talk about,” he seethes, “this is deeper than you’re letting on.”
“I don’t need to tell you anything. I think I made myself clear. Leave me alone. You know what you know. I know what I know,” she feels a sob crawl up her throat, but she swallows it whole.
“I care about you! I worry about you everytime I see you! What did I do wrong? I did nothing wrong! I’m just trying to be a good frie-”
“STOP IT! SHUT UP!,” she yells. She covers her face with her arms and takes a step back, hunching into herself. Her only comfort. Her only space. Her body. Only she has control over it.
That’s right! It’s hers alone. No one else has the right to determine how they get to treat it.
Silence. Breathing. Breathe. Inhale. Exhale. Breathe.
After a few seconds of more silence, she decides to gain some courage and look up from her arms. She finds herself staring at a chest, and finds herself craning her neck up even more. Just like in the beginning.
The man that was just before her was gone. Perhaps she cast a spell of her own to get rid of him. But there was one problem.
“Why did you say yes?”
She looks up, finding the original man she was confronting in front of her. Dark hair, tan skin, brown eyes. His eyebrows were no longer knitted. If anything he looked confused. Bewildered even. He looked down at her, craning his neck. Looking up she could tell he was searching for answers in her eyes.
She could sense a connection again with this man. However, she found the tightness of her throat was absent. Her breathing, normal. Yet, his chest was heaving. He was sweating and shaking. She could piece together that maybe she had something to do about his obvious anxiousness.
“Why did you say yes?”