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You walked inside the House of Lamentation, exhausted from a study session with Satan at the library. Your bag was heavy with books on the history of the devildom and you just wanted to change out of your uniform and get into some lounge clothes. You nearly walked right into Beel who was standing in the entryway.
“Oh…hi,” you greeted the tall, orange haired star athlete brother timidly. “Um, I heard your game went well.”
He nodded, fidgeting with the zipper on his jacket and looking you up and down. The two of you were always a bit awkward with each other and frankly, he’d rubbed you the wrong way since you met him. You tried to limit your interactions with him.
Since you weren’t sure what he wanted, you began to walk towards your room.
“I thought maybe you could come to the gym with me tomorrow. I think it would be good or, um, fun for both of us.” Beel mumbled quietly, hand on the back of his neck. You turned around to look at him. He wasn’t really looking at you anymore, more so past you.
Instantly, you could feel your face growing hotter and tears stinging the corner of your eyes. Will this demon just lay off of you for once. This is the third day in a row he’s made a comment like that. You already got enough shit about your body and losing weight back home…did fatphobic bullshit really need to follow you to the devildom?
Two days ago, you were eating a sandwich in the kitchen. You accidentally missed lunch when you got caught in a conversation with Lord Diavolo and were starving by the time you got back to the House of Lamentation. You hauled ass right to the kitchen and made a sandwich to tide you over until dinner. Beel walked in while you were hoovering your after school snack, stopped and stared at you. “I think you’ve been in the kitchen more than me lately and that’s saying something.” He laughed. You dropped your half eaten sandwich in the trash and went to your room.
Last night you were walking from the bathroom back to your room before bed. You were half asleep and raised your arms and stretched tall and yawned. You felt your pajama shirt lift up a bit and then something poked you. Your eyes popped open and Beel was standing there, index finger on your stomach. He said “whoa, tummy!” and then continued walking down the hall.
And then there was the not so subtle suggestion just now that you hit the gym. What the hell! You thought Beel was supposed to be one of the kinder demon brothers. Why was he picking on you for your body? The avatar of gluttony no less!
You had felt a bit uncomfortable in your skin since you arrived in the devildom. Everyone around you was so beautiful and lean…even the otaku who never left his room somehow had a six pack. You felt like the odd person out being, ya know, plus sized…big boned…plump… *insert additional euphemisms here*...ok, ok fat. You were fat.
Your relationship with your body has its ups and downs. Sometimes you are certain you are the baddest bitch on the planet and no one can top your style, the way you move your hips and the magnetism you possess. Other times, you are keenly aware that you are the largest person in the room and you try to make yourself smaller in any way you can—usually by being quiet and overly polite.
You hoped the novelty of being one of only two humans at RAD would overshadow your body type. That people wouldn’t make it a central focus. Hello - real live human in front of you here - be amazed!
But everyone in the devildom turned out to be hot, muscular giants. You were definitely struggling. You fidgeted with your uniform a lot and had to push out the invasive thought “are they disappointed the human realm didn’t send someone…hotter?” more often than you liked.
But still - we are talking about the avatar of gluttony here! Lucifer literally put a padlock on the fridge because this demon ate so much, and he’s going to point out your habits?
When you shook out the memories of the last few days, you realized Beel was still standing in front of you waiting for an answer. Your face was hot, your mouth was dry. Your body, heart and mind were tightening with embarrassment and anger. You had to get away from him before your tears started really flowing.
“You jerk!” You croaked and you pushed past him and down the hall towards your room.
Making it safely to your room, you locked the door and slid to the ground and let yourself cry. Adjusting to life in the devildom hasn’t been easy. It was bad enough being transported to a strange place, missing your friends, and having to be chaperoned from place to place so lesser demons wouldn’t eat you. Now one of your new housemates wanted to pick on you for being fat? What the everloving fuck!
All the emotions of the past few weeks poured out of you, with Beel’s gym comment being the last piece of the dam to break. You aren’t sure how long you sat and cried but you were drawn back to the present by a rapping on your door.
You swung open the door to find Satan standing there. Just what you need, the avatar of wrath standing outside your door looking pissed off.
“Oh!” His expression immediately softened. “Oh, dear. What happened here?”
“What do you need, Satan? I’m….just wanting to go to bed.” Your voice was hoarse and low.
“Well…” Satan pursed his lips and ran a hand through his hair. “I came to interrogate you about what you did to Beel that caused him to rip the door off the fridge and make a disaster in the kitchen but it seems there’s a second part of this story I don’t understand.”
“What are you talking about?” You said between sniffles. “I’m the one that should be upset.”
Satan cocked his head to one side and waited for you to fill him in. And so you did. You unintentionally word vomited all the things running through your head. The feelings of being a fat disappointment to the brothers and all the interactions with Beel that reinforced that feeling. You clutched your arms around yourself trying to feel less exposed from all the things you were sharing.
“Hm, I see. I think you need to repeat everything you’ve just said to me to Beel.” Satan mused. You shook your head.
“Why should I?”
“Trust me, I think it would be for the best. Stay right here.” With that Satan disappeared and you stayed planted in your doorway.
Moments later, Satan returned with a red eyed Beel who was carrying a half dozen bags of chips in his arms. Satan pushed you and Beel into your room.
“Talk, please.” And with that, Satan shut the door. Now it was just you and Beel staring at each other. Silence passed between for more than a minute only broken up by the crunch of chips from Beel. It seemed you were going to have to lead this conversation.
“It’s not ok to judge someone’s body. I am the way I am, I look the way I look and if you don’t like it, you should just keep it to yourself.” You crossed your arms over your chest and tried to stand as tall as you could, though Beel towered over you even as he slouched.
Beel’s eyes darted back and forth, it was like you could see him processing what you said in real time.
“But…” he started quietly, “I like the way you look. I never knew humans looked as cute as you.” He blushed and tried to avoid eye contact.
“What?” You were genuinely confused. Beel started fidgeting.
“I think you're really cute. I didn’t know they made humans that looked like you. You seem like the perfect size to fit in my arms. And you look soft, like it would be nice to be close to you.”
“You…like how I look? Like this?” You motioned towards your body. Beel nodded and smiled brightly, standing taller.
“I want to spend time with you but I didn’t know how to tell you. You always seem like you want to get away from me…” he trailed off. Shit. Was this all just a misunderstanding?
Your experiences with men taught you to always be ready to put your walls up. That they would all inevitably peck away at your body.
“But - you poked my stomach and said ‘whoa, tummy’” you offered. He nodded enthusiastically.
“ It’s cute, I like it!”
“You told me I needed to work out!” You countered again. He squinted in confusion.
“I asked you to come to the gym because I have to spend a lot of time there to train and I thought it would be more fun if you were with me. I just want to be around you.” He smiled again, like sunshine in human form.
“Oh, no, I’m so sorry Beel. I thought you were teasing me about my weight. I thought…you were pointing out that you didn’t like it—me.”
“Why would I tease you about that?”
“Well…most of the time guys don’t like how I look. They make fun of my size or say mean things. I just thought…” It was hard to finish the sentence while looking into his big puppy dog eyes. You felt like crying again but for different reasons now.
“I’m sorry others were mean to you. But, I just want you close to me. I think you’re beautiful and I hoped if we spent some time together…you might like me back.”
Your heart swam with warmth hearing those words from Beel. Without thinking you stepped forward and opened your arms. He dropped his stockpile of chip bags on the floor to take you into his arms. You stayed locked in embrace for some time. You swear you heard a sound almost like purring from Beel.
“I was right, you fit perfectly in my arms.”