Chapter Text
Everyone had their limits. Even the most patient people in the world snapped under the right circumstances and Ye Zun has never been a patient person. Sure, there had been moments in the past when he was barely a person but that’s beside the point, the point is – Ye Zun is done. This Thursday is going to go down in history because Ye Zun is taking action.
“That’s it gege, we are finding you someone.” He declares and is not surprised by a sad puppy look his twin sends him. Whenever someone tries to do something remotely helpful, Shen Wei gets all misty-eyed and solemn as if his mere existence is a burden others barely tolerate to his greatest surprise. Ye Zun would like to have a few words with their parents because of that but the assholes are conveniently dead and therefore not liable to reply. Swearing at their graves is not very effective, but it helps just a little.
“I am perfectly fine...” Shen Wei starts and Ye Zun hands him the ‘I’m fine’ jar they had established in Shen Wei’s flat a week prior. Some people (like Ye Zun himself) required swear jars, some like Shen Wei insisted on being alright even if they had just been mangled by a rabid dog. Which is a thing that happened. Hence, the jar. If Ye Zun cannot stop his brother from being careless, he can at least get some money out of it.
Maybe they are cursed. Maybe Shen Wei’s self-sacrificing tendencies and inability to run from danger if there are other people involved indicates that he is meant to save the world or something, but for now all it amounts to is making Ye Zun exasperated.
“You are definitely not fine in so many aspects I cannot even count, but for the sake of an argument – you spent yesterday evening agonizing over your student’s love life.” Ye Zun points out, not kindly in the slightest.
“She asked for advice and I couldn’t give it.” Shen Wei replies morosely. He looks truly worried but Ye Zun soldiers on, he will not be deterred by the ‘good professor’ routine. He knows what he’s seen.
Somebody should pay him for the amount of good deeds he set himself to do today.
“Yes, that’s why you went through the existential crisis, because you couldn’t help your poor student ask her crush out, not because you realized you have no point of reference and no experience in the matter. I am all for ‘your age does not define you’ and all that, but you are over thirty and haven’t been to a single date. Or at least, not knowingly, I’m sure a lot of your colleagues had that in mind when they asked you for consultations in coffee shops, but I digress.” Shen Wei just looks at him, unblinkingly, the papers he was grading abandoned for a moment.
“I was never interested.” He says, his tone carefully neutral but Ye Zun is prepared for this.
“See, that’s the problem! I never said anything because not everyone wants or needs a romantic relationship and for a while I assumed that you are one of these people but that’s not the case. You do want someone. I don’t know who, because you’ve never even had a celebrity crush for all I know, but I’ve been watching you gege. The look you get whenever looking at particularly cute couples – that’s not the face of someone disinterested. Yesterday was the final straw.” Ye Zun says and sits at the table facing his twin.
There was a time when they were both almost identical but now they are rather distinctive, at least in Ye Zun’s opinion. Shen Wei keeps his hair short, wears glasses he doesn’t need and suits to convince people he is older than he looks to have some respect at his university, and is basically a perfect picture of a functioning adult. Ha.
Ye Zun is aware that his long dyed hair and clothing choices betray his artistic inclinations and he is not ashamed in the slightest. He teaches three theatre courses after all, and has a PhD in Canjun opera, he is almost expected to look the part. And even if Shen Wei does not approve of his clothing choices, mostly long white tunics, Ye Zun’s students seem to see it as part of his charm. And unlike Shen Wei, he at least has some experience when it comes to relationships, so who is the adult here?
“Didi, you are being unreasonable. I was merely worried about my student, who trusted me with her problem because she thought I could help her, I hated to disappoint her.” Shen Wei says, his voice small and Ye Zun wonders why his twin bothers lying to him when he is not even remotely good at it. Yes, practice makes perfect, but Shen Wei has been lying since they were kids and he hasn’t got better at it at all. Maybe because most often the only person he tries to fool is Shen Wei himself and he has really low standards.
“Gege.”
“If I wanted…”Here, Ye Zun interrupts him.
“Yes, sure. We need to leave for the university in 5 minutes so I’ll cut this short – I want you to pay attention to people today. You don’t have to talk to them or anything, just… observe and find one person you would be interested in knowing better, alright?”
Shen Wei narrows his eyes, searching for a trap. Fair enough, he had grown up with Ye Zun after all and Ye Zun is self-aware enough to know that he has a manipulative streak. Maybe.
“And if I don’t find anyone interesting? I know the majority of people at university, I have not found them particularly interesting so far.”
“Then I will move to the next step of the plan and force you out of the house to meet new people. I know you’d hate that so I definitely recommend doing your best!” He replies cheerfully and leaves Shen Wei’s flat to get to his own, a few doors away, to gather his things.
University dorms are rather convenient – the two of them live close enough to meet up whenever they feel like it, but they have separate spaces to cool down, or, as is probably the case with gege now – panic.
It’s not that Shen Wei is unfriendly or cold. It’s just that he is so duty-oriented and driven that in his never-ending quest to learn as much as possible he seemingly forgot to learn how human interaction works. He is polite, respectful and caring, but he cannot connect. Yet he wants to, as Ye Zun recently noticed. There were times when they had only each other and Shen Wei looked after him to the best of his ability so now it is Ye Zun’s turn. He’s a good person like that.
*
He is on his way to meet Shen Wei for lunch when he hears a shout and a boy falls down from the window of the Biology building. It is sad to say, but this isn’t even in top three weirdest things that happened at Dragon University this week.
His gege is already there, and he moves to help the kid when something catches his eye and he looks up at the window.
Ye Zun follows his gaze and sees two men peeking out, one who looks like he should be a student here, the other… the other looks like a gangster, if Ye Zun is to be honest. He wonders for a moment if he should call the police and turns to Shen Wei to ask but is frozen by what he sees.
Shen Wei is still staring at the window. Or rather at the men.
Oh shit. Really?
The gangster says something about coming down and that brings Shen Wei out of his stupor. He runs to the kid who is moaning loudly on the ground, and checks him for wounds. Ye Zun follows, a dark foreboding feeling growing inside him.
He hears the footsteps and looks up at the two men arriving to the scene.
The teenager looks amused beyond belief while the gangster… the gangster looks like he is taking in every detail around them. Like he is used to observing people and their behaviour. Not suspicious at all.
“Xiao Guo, you alright?” he asks, rather cheerfully and Ye Zun doesn’t buy his happy persona at all. This is someone who seems friendly at a glance but is internally analysing what makes you tick. Ye Zun would know, he is the same.
The boy, Xiao Guo stammers something like ‘I’m fine’ and gestures to Shen Wei saying something incomprehensible.
“Oh, I apologize for our intern, he is just learning the ropes.” The guy in overalls who stands behind the gangster snickers but apparently only Ye Zun is paying him any mind – the gangster and Shen Wei are busy staring at each other.
“Nothing to apologize for, I am glad to see he isn’t hurt.” Shen Wei replies and he seems a bit dazed, even though not anyone would notice. Ye Zun notices. He also notices that Shen Wei is definitely not looking at Xiao Guo at all.
“So am I! We would hate to lose him so soon. Luckily, there are good people hear at the DCU! We are from police, I’m Chief Zhao Yunlan. Thank you…?” Here, the gangster sends what can be only called a smoulder in Shen Wei’s direction. Who looks charmed. This is not what Ye zun expected to happen this Thursday.
“Professor Shen, Shen Wei,” He replies hastily and shakes the hand the self-proclaimed Chief extends. Or rather, attempts to shake it, but gets distracted in the process and Ye Zun, the kid and Xiao Guo are all forced to watch the two of them hold hands and stare at each other some more.
Finally, before Ye Zun shouts in frustration, Shen Wei comes to his senses and lets go.
Zhao Yunlan sends him a curious look and then orders his juniors to move it, the suspects do not catch themselves, and finally, finally, with the last wave their way, they are gone.
Shen Wei keeps staring after Zhao Yunlan.
“Gege.”
No reaction. Is this karma? Some cosmic retribution for Ye Zun’s asshole teenage years?
“Gege, no. Not that one. Find a better one. I will find you a better one!” He tries and Shen Wei actually looks at him.
He is positively beaming.
Oh damn.
*
At first, Ye Zun fully believes he is being trolled by Shen Wei. Faced with an ultimatum, Shen Wei might decide to fake playing along just to get Ye Zun off his back, he has done that in the past, so for the first few days he allows himself to believe that his twin’s sudden interest in Zhao Yunlan is his way of getting back at Ye Zun. But it quickly turns out that no, the fixation is genuine.
To Shen Wei’s credit, he doesn’t start writing Zhao Wei and Shen Yunlan on his students’ papers just yet. He does, however roam around the university and the city in general, which hasn’t happened before. When asked, he claims he does it because he is a good citizen and there has been a murder at DCU, didi, we should help, but Ye Zun is not buying it. Mostly because his twin has managed to stumble into Zhao Yunlan three times already and now the Chief has invited himself to Shen Wei’s office.
In which Ye Zun is already sitting, waiting for gege to finish his class.
“Hello, I didn’t get your name last time, you are…?” Zhao Yunlan says with a friendly smile
“Ye Zun. And don’t bother, I know who you are. What I don’t know is why you are here.” He directs his best glare at the cop but Zhao Yunlan only smiles wider.
“Great! Since we are both waiting for Shen Wei, can you tell me anything about Luo Rumei?” Ye Zun contemplates being difficult just to blow off some frustration, but decides against it. Gege would not approve and despite his roguish look, the man is actually a policeman, so he watches Zhao Yunlan sit on Shen Wei’s desk, as if he doesn't believe in the existence of chairs. Ye Zun magnanimously decides not to comment on that and racks his brain trying to remember anything about the student in question.
During their talk Ye Zun notices three things:
- Zhao Yunlan is a flirt and he does it consciously, he weaponizes his charm and knows it’s effective. Poor Shen Wei, he is defenceless against this kind of attack.
- Despite his carefree attitude the man actually cares about the victims and catching the criminal responsible. It would be easier if he was an evil, corrupted cop.
- He suspects Shen Wei is a serial killer. That’s kind of a deal-breaker in this budding romance.
Of course, the last one is something Ye Zun notices because he is looking for it, the man’s questions are rather subtle and at first, Ye Zun was tempted to see it as a sign of mutual interest but now it is clear that Shen Wei stumbling into his crime scenes made Zhao Yunlan more than a little suspicious.
How tempting would it be to tell him that no, Shen Wei is not a serial killer, he is, however, an overprotective ball of anxiety that imprinted on Zhao Yunlan and decided to shadow him to ‘help’.
But no, Ye Zun resists. Mostly because there is something going on with his brother, something more than just a crush – Shen Wei doesn’t act as if the meeting at DCU with Xiao Guo falling from the sky was their first. He doesn’t seem like someone who just met the love of their life out of the blue, but rather like someone who got reunited with a long lost lover. Ye Zun asks, of course he does, but Shen Wei refuses to say anything.
At first, he looked down bashfully and pretended to be absorbed in whatever he had been doing at the moment, but now he simply smiles and carries on with whatever he is doing. It’s suspicious to say the least.
Before he can ask Zhao Yunlan a question of his own, something bordering on ‘how do you know my brother’ and ‘what are your intentions with him?’, Shen Wei enters his office and takes in the scene – Ye Zun sitting on a chair in front of the desk, like a civilized person, and Zhao Yunlan sitting on the desk itself, his posture relaxed and a lollipop in his mouth. He visibly lights up when he spots Shen Wei, but gege seems rather… resigned.
“Professor Shen! I’m glad to see you, I have an urgent police business to discuss and I need help from someone smarter than me!” Zhao Yunlan announces cheerfully and Shen Wei brightens up a bit, but instead of coming to the Chief, he turns to Ye Zun.
“Didi, would you like to stay? We were supposed to have lunch together after all.” Shen Wei says, his face sporting a polite smile and his tone gentle and Ye Zun is taken aback by how much Shen Wei silently wishes Ye Zun gone.
Oh, oh, it makes sense now.
Shen Wei is jealous.
That’s a new one.
“No, I decided to stick around in case Chief Zhao got bored but I will go now, I wouldn’t want to interrupt official police business.” Ye Zun replies, a small smirk forming on his lips.
Zhao Yunlan may be bad news for Shen Wei, but he unlocks a whole new spectrum of emotions in him and Ye Zun is delighted to see them all.
That is, until he has to pick up his brother from the police station because the fool got arrested at a crime scene as a prime suspect.
Some people really can’t handle their crushes.