Chapter Text
Jay had been crying for over countless mornings and nights. His life had never been the same because of what happened months ago. He would not eat, drink or come out of his room for days, even weeks because the event left a big impact on him. Starving himself, dehydrating himself and crying himself to sleep. He came out of his room after weeks because his parents had been convincing him to at least eat or drink something, even when he didn’t want to. Months had passed by and Jay was heading somewhere.
Bringing his guitar and a bouquet of flowers, he went. Heading to the cemetery, do you wonder why he is there?. He kept walking and walking through the said place until he found it. The grave he had been finding for a few minutes. He kneeled down on the grave and looked at it. A name engraved with a Times New Roman font on it. Wondering who’s name is it?
The name engraved on it. It’s
Kim Sunoo
.
What actually happened months ago.
Sunoo was having quite a relaxing Saturday evening. He was laying down on his bed, scrolling through his phone, blasting some chill music. The clouds outside were slowly covering the sun, indicating it was almost night time. It was getting a bit chilly and breezy outside since it's entering the winter season soon and Sunoo closed the window shields and draped the curtains, covering it. Sunoo has always loved the chilly and breezy atmosphere, just not when it’s getting too overboard. Sunoo was getting quite bored since he doesn't have much to do, so he decided on calling his best friend, Jay!
The two boys met and became best friends around middle school when Sunoo was a transferee in Jay’s school. Jay offered to show Sunoo around the school, even when Jay was a grade higher than him. The two boys started hanging out with each other ever since which might have been the happiest moment for the two. They are now at high school, Sunoo in 11th grade, while Jay is in 12th grade. The two still keep in touch, despite their school schedules having a big time difference. After a few rings on the phone, the other line finally picked up.
Jay-hyung ⚝
“Jay hyung~~ Hi, it’s Sunoo!”
“Hey Sunoo! What’s up? Do you need anything?”
“I’m doing fine hyung! I don’t really need anything but hyung.
Can I come over to your place please~ I’m bored here and I feel like
Watching a movie or something with my best friend!”
“Sure Sunoo, you could come over. Do you want me to pick you up?
The wind is kinda breezy here.”
“Nah it’s fine hyung. It’s only a few minutes walk from my place to yours.
I’ll be there in a few!”
“Ok I guess. You sure you don’t want me to pick you up?”
“Yep, I’m sure hyung, I’ll be fine~”
“You stubborn little brat, promise me, you’ll stay safe ok? Don’t cross
roads when it’s still the green light, wait for the red light to appear.”
“You sound like my mom~ Hyung I’m literally in 11th grade.”
“Just promise me you’ll be fine please?”
“Okay okay, I promise hyung~ I’ll be there soon! Byee!”
“See you soon, Sunoo!”
Sunoo ended the call, squealing in excitement. He and Jay haven't really met a lot so finally having an opportunity like this makes Sunoo happy like the happy sunshine he is. Sunoo makes sure to lock all the doors before exiting his apartment room. Putting on his warm hoodie, he made his way to the elevator and pressed the button to the ground floor.
Ding! The elevator door opened as he reached the ground floor and exited the apartment to be met with a chilly and breezy atmosphere of wind. Sunoo shivered a little, clutching onto his hoodie with his tiny hands, covering his head with the hood to prevent his head getting cold. He started walking to Jay’s apartment and he came across a zebra-cross. All he had to do was cross over it and walk a few more meters till he reached Jay’s.
A red light had flashed, making the cars stop and Sunoo started walking. He was halfway there until he saw from his peripheral vision, a blinding light from a car.
Sunoo was in the middle of the pedestrian lane when he froze. A fast car was moving towards his direction. The person driving sped up and didn’t care about the red light showing. The blinding light of the car getting closer, Sunoo didn’t know what to do. He couldn't move his body all of a sudden, he stayed still on his spot. He couldn’t react.
What was he supposed to do?
Should he run? Should he retreat? He didn’t know what to do, he didn’t have time to react nor move his body. He can’t think of anything at the moment. He felt frozen on the spot and he forgot where he was. He can’t think straight to the point he can’t move his feet or anything.
And that’s when he felt it.
A strong impact crashed into his body, sending him flying a few meters far and he felt his body crash down on the road. A series of gasps and screams from people on the streets were heard from his hearing, which is starting to ring very badly. He can see from his blurry vision, the car that crashed into him driving away. He can hear the people on the sidewalks panicking and screaming, which just adds more pain to his ears.
“SOMEONE CALL AN AMBULANCE!”
“PLEASE HURRY!”
“CALL HIS PARENTS OR FRIEND!”
“DON’T WORRY, THE AMBULANCE IS COMING IN A FEW!”
“STAY STRONG PLEASE, DON’T LOSE HOPE. THEY ARE COMING!”
He can feel something watery run down his head. His vision is starting to blur even more, he can no longer think straight. The impact was so strong that he couldn’t move or anything. He just laid on the road, hopeless and almost lifeless. He could only think of one person. One person he wanted to see right now. Sunoo felt that all hope he had was gone, his eyes were starting to blur even more and his hearing was getting worse. He just wanted to see one person, his best friend.
“J-Jay… hyung…”
————————
Jay was peacefully making some popcorn and setting up a movie for their movie night. Jay knows Sunoo’s favourite movie is ‘Coco’ so he sets up the television and it shows the movie on display. Jay couldn’t wait any longer for Sunoo to arrive, he was super excited since they haven’t met in a while. Jay looked at the clock, it was already 7.46 pm and Sunoo still had not arrived.
Weird, Jay thought since Sunoo usually comes fast… Suddenly he heard his phone ring and the phone lit up showing Sunoo’s contact calling him. Jay smiled and picked up immediately wanting to ask Sunoo where he was.
Sunoo ♡
“Sunoo, hey!! When are you getting here?
It’s getting pretty late.”
The other line didn’t answer, which made Jay confused. So he called for him again.
“Uh, hello? Sunoo? Are you there?”
“Uh, hello. I’m sorry, are you perhaps Jay? Bestfriend or boyfriend of Sunoo?”
Jay had a weird feeling. That isn’t Sunoo’s voice. It was someone he didn’t know calling from his best friend's number.
“Uhm, yes. I’m Jay, his best friend. Why? Is there something happening?
And who are you?”
“I’m really sorry to say this, but your friend, Sunoo, got into a car accident.”
Jay’s heart dropped.
Best friend. Sunoo. Car accident.
This can’t be happening. This is not real right?
“I-’m sorry, what??”
“I’m really sorry sir, but your friend got into a car accident
when he was crossing the road. I was one of the witnesses and
I saw a car run over at a very high speed. The impact that hit
him was pretty hard, it sent him flying a few meters far. I heard
him whispering something like “Jay hyung” or something so I
searched for your contact name on his phone and immediately called you.”
Jay didn’t know what to say. Tears pooling in his eyes. No, this can’t be real. This can’t be happening. They just talked on the phone a few minutes ago and now he’s being informed that his best friend got into a car accident?!
“Where is he?! Where are you?!”
“At Sam-dong park. Please hurry, I don't know for how long he’ll last.”
Jay hanged up instantly and he ran outside his apartment as fast as his legs could carry him. His vision filled with tears, he seriously hoped it was fake, but the man’s voice sounded broken and desperate so there was no way it’s fake. Not long after, Jay could see a crowd of people in the middle of a road. Sam-dong park. Sunoo. Jay ran faster than he ever could and saw the crowd getting closer and closer from his eyes. Jay made his way through the crowd, pushing himself forward until he got to the front and he saw his best friend. Sunoo, lying almost lifeless.
“SUNOO!!”
“STOP THERE, THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA. PLEASE STAY BEHIND THE LINE.”
“THAT’S MY BEST FRIEND. YOU HAVE TO LET ME PASS. PLEASE, LET ME SEE HIM” Jay was almost on the verge of crying at this point. He has to see his best friend, he has too.
The police officer could see the desperation and angriness in Jay’s eyes and he gave him the permission to pass. Jay immediately ran to Sunoo, hurriedly kneeling down on both of his knees and cupping his face, trying to keep the boy conscious until the ambulance arrived as he cried.
“Sunoo?? Sunoo?? Can you hear me?? Please say something, please.” Jay was already crying as he saw his best friend’s state. Blood dripping down from his head, his hoodie stained with blood everywhere as well as his pants. His face and body filled with scratches and stained blood on his cheeks. Sunoo opened his eyes weakly, seeing Jay cry in his sight.
“J-jay hyung…”
“Yes Sunoo. I’m here. Please stay conscious okay? The ambulance is coming soon. Please keep your eyes open. Please, I... I can't lose you.”
“H-hyung.. I-I'm sorry.. F-for not making i-it on time..”
“No Sunoo, why are you apologizing? It's not your fault, don’t say anything, just try to stay awake ok? Please…” Jay was already in full tears, his cheeks stained with hot tears. He still couldn’t believe it, he seriously hoped it was a nightmare and he just wanted to wake up and get out of it. Jay held Sunoo tightly and closely to his body, putting his hand under the younger’s head as he felt the blood drip more and more. He couldn’t do anything at this point. He could only hope that Sunoo will be fine. “Please, Sunoo… I can’t lose you.” He regretted not picking Sunoo up with his car, otherwise he wouldn’t be in this state. He wished he didn’t listen to Sunoo when he said he’ll be fine and insisted on picking him up but no.
“I-I cant hold it any longer Jay h-hyung. Can I rest now, please.. I c-can’t take it a-anym-more…” Sunoo was also in tears. He wanted to live, but he can feel his heartbeat getting slower and slower each second passes by. He can’t stay strong anymore. Jay cried even harder at what Sunoo said.
“No Sunoo, please stay strong for a bit more. You can’t rest now. Who is going to share their stories with me?? Who is going to rant about mint chocolate being the best ice cream flavour?? Who is going to be the one commenting when we are watching a movie?? Who will be the one to come up to my apartment when they are feeling lonely or bored?? Who is going to be the one always smiling and laughing at my jokes?? Please Sunoo, don’t close your eyes now, please… I-I know I’m being selfish but please…” Jay was already crying hard. He can’t imagine his life without his best friend that he met since elementary. He just can’t, he didn’t want Sunoo to leave this world already..
Sunoo let’s his tears roll down his cheeks at what Jay said. Sure, he wanted to live and be with Jay but he can’t make the decisions. Only life will and his heartbeat is getting slower and slower as he also feels more blood drip down from his head. Sunoo weakly lifted his left hand and cupped Jay’s right cheek wiping the tears with his thumb, caressing his cheek while doing so.
“I’m sure you will find s-someone else to replace my side for y-you. S-someone who will share their s-stories, rant a-about mint chocolate, commenting w-when watching a m-movie, coming to your apartment when they are b-bored or lonely and s-smiling and laughing at your j-jokes for you hyung. M-move on from me s-sooner ok hyung? Or you will be in more p-pain and I don't want that f-for you. I’m sorry hyung I-I can't be by your side f-forever. I wanted to spend my e-entire life with you, but the t-time says otherwise. I’m getting weaker h-hyung, I can feel my heartbeat beating more s-slowly..” Sunoo hissed when he felt pain from his body, his hand falling from Jay’s cheek, as Jay quickly catched it and intertwined their hands. Jay is crying harder than he ever cried in his entire lifetime. He knows he can’t control anything in life and time was slowly taking his Sunoo away from him... forever.
“Live your life h-happily with someone new ok h-hyung? Try to move on from me s-sooner. Share your embarrassing and funny m-moments with your n-new someone.” Sunoo gave a weak chuckle at the last part while Jay did the same, chuckling and smiling weakly.
“How can you say that when your life is literally on the line, Sunoo. Don’t joke around..” Jay held Sunoo’s hand tighter, shedding more tears. “And how am I supposed to move on from you..”
“I’m s-sure you can hyung. B-but if you can’t, please r-remember I'm always in your heart ok? I’m a-always with you… just not physically n-next to you ok? My h-heartbeat is getting slower and I'm a-afraid I can't open my eyes a-any longer. I will never l-leave my eyes off y-you until my last b-breath, but I'm afraid I have to n-now. Hyung.. will you a-allow me to rest now.. f-forever..?” Jay cried harder than before at what Sunoo said. He didn’t want Sunoo to leave yet, he didn’t want to move on yet but he can’t pause time. He can’t change a thing. Jay let his tears fall down, never letting go of Sunoo’s hand.
“Yes… you c-can rest now Sunoo… f-forever. I won’t let you suffer from the pain you’re holding any longer.” Jay stated, bringing Sunoo’s intertwined hand closer to his mouth, leaving a soft kiss on it, a few tears landing on it.
Sunoo weakly smiled at Jay, still managing to open his eyes to look at his best friend until his last breath.
“I-i love y-you.. Jay hyung...”
And that’s when everything happened in slow motion.
Sunoo closed his eyes, his last breath leaving his nose. His lungs are no longer filled with air, his heart stopped beating as his tight grip on Jay’s hand disappeared. Jay cried softly when he saw his best friend lying lifeless on his lap, his one hand still under Sunoo’s head as his other hand was still intertwining Sunoo’s no-muscled one. His tears fell on Sunoo’s blood-stained hoodie as a tear fell on Sunoo’s cheek, rolling down. Jay still couldn’t believe what happened, his best friend was lying lifelessly on his lap. Jay brought Sunoo’s lifeless-cold hand to his mouth and kissed it, letting his lips stay there, not wanting to pull out. Jay hoped that Sunoo would live a happy time up in the clouds, no longer having to feel any pain. Having all the fun times there without feeling any pain, that’s Jay’s only wish for his best friend. Jay pulled his lips from Sunoo's hand, leaning forward to Sunoo's forehead, leaving a kiss on it
“I love you too… Sunoo…”