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Ethan and Dan were headed to the ForzaNapoli pizzeria near Dan's house.
Ethan came to visit his friend for the holidays so they might as well spend their time together while they can.
They entered the pizzeria and sat down. Dan had brought his little friend with him because he wanted to confess his love. He simply couldn't hide it anymore....
As the two were waiting for the waiter Dan was trying to think of something to break the ice, it was Ethan's first time visiting Italy and the two weren't used to face-to-face communication; but Dan didn't want to make things awkward for Ethan, so he had to think of something quick.
Their first thought was to try and be funny. "Judg deez nuts hahahaha"
Ethan let out a chuckle "haha based" he said. A waiter approached the two. He was tall, had brown eyes and brown hair, he was wearing glasses and had an unkept beard. To some extent, he looked a little like their friend Gold. "Ciau ragazzi may i take your order" he spoke.
"I'll have the judg pizza" Ethan said. Dan realized he hadn't even checked the menu when they were waiting for the waiter. What a silly willy! He opened the menu in a panic and shouted "UM... I'LL TAKE THIS ONE" He pointed at the first pizza he saw and the waiter wrote it down "Good choice, the pizzas will br here in about 20 minutes" And he left the table.
"What the hell did you even order?" the midget asked. "U- Uhm.. I DON'T REALLY KNOw... I was in a- a rush..." Dan shouted, only realizing that midway through the sentence; everyone else in the pizzeria heard it and was giving him weird looks from afar.
"HAHAHA Great job idiot now what if you don't like it? What if it's Piss Pizza or something?" Ethan giggled. "Huh?" The lobster spoke too quickly, Dan barely understood what he said at all.
"Nothin'..." Ethan smirked, making Dan twice as confused as they were before.
The two silly dudes waited for their meals to arrive. Dan tried to make small talk with Ethan but he was far too busy playing Cookie Run: Kingdom because of course he was. Can't believe Dan had a crush on a mobile gamer haha fucking loser.
The waiter from before was now approaching them with two pizzas in his hand.
He proceeded to place them in front of the two "buon appetito coglione" he looked at Dan before taking his leave. Dan looked down at his plate, a little shocked. The pizza was covered in mayo, cream cheese and ricotta. "porco dio" he thought to himself... that pizza was a Sburrata Napoletana. "Nice pizza Dan" Ethan said sarcastically because the red bitch had clearly ordered an abomination for lunch.
"How am I gonna eat this now? I'm going to throw up.. It's too fucking much.. Eeww.." the beanie-wearing fuck complained as he covered up his eyes so he didn't see that disgusting mess. "Maan.. This is no piss pizza but it's certainly BETTER..! HAHAHA" Ethan mocked them talking between bites of his judg pizza.
"Come on now! I can't eat this. Should I just kill myself.." Dan slammed his head onto the table, just barely dodging the hellish pizza.
Since Dan wouldn't quit his whining, despite all of this being his fault, everyone in the pizzeria was staring at him and giving him weird looks.
All of a sudden the red boy felt a tap on his shoulder, he lifted his head up and saw his boyfriend Forzanapoli Cagasburra.
"OMG FORZANAPOLI WHY ARE YOU HERE???" Dan screeched. "This is my dad's restaurant, it's called Pizzeria ForzaNapoli for a reason lmao"
Dan banged his head on the table again. Dying definitely felt like a great option rn!!
"Is there a problem??" Cagasburra asked in a concerned voice while rubbing Dan's back.
"This pizza is cum I don't like it can you please get me another one" And so Cagasburra headed to the kitchen.
After another 20 minutes the waiter came again and brought him a Parappizza.
Dan finally started eating his pizza, it kind of tasted like paper and dog meat. So delicious. Ethan looked at them laughing a little "Bad day for you today.. huh? Just wait til you drink piss or something." Ethan couldn't stop giggling at how stupid Dan acted until that moment. "I-- WAIT WHAT..?" Dan raised their eyebrow like that one gif of the rock. The whore house laughed and didn't address what he just said, leaving Dan with a blank expression as they continued eating.
Once the both of them were done eating Ethan called a waiter and asked "Excuse me mister... could i please speak to the chef I'd like to compliment them" The waiter just nodded and headed to the kitchen.
Suddenly, the door flung open and a short (well at least not for Dan and Ethan those two were literal gnomes lmao) 5'7'' person dressed in a chef uniform.
It was Gold!! Both Dan and Ethan's jaw dropped... they didn't know Gold worked there! This almost felt like a shitty wattpad fanfiction but it was reality.
"Gold.. I think i've made a mistake of some sorts.." Ethan worriedly said, pointing at how Dan was now missing. "Huh? Where'd that idiot go? Classic Dan, always getting in troubl-" Ethan covered their mouth before they could continue speaking "No! you've got it all wrong. I- I think I ate them.." he looked down. "UHH.. Maybe try and throw him up? I don't know!" Gold suggested.
The two ran to the pizzeria bathroom and attempted to make Ethan throw up but that failed miserably.
"Ethan I'm afraid there's only one way out of this.... you need to shit him out" they said in a serious tone. "Gold I don't think i can do this.... I'm not ready" The lobster spoke, he was scared. "You have to .... or Dan is gonna fucking die hurry the fuck up dumbass it's time to give birth.
After a long hour of pushing, Dan came out of Ethan's bussy.
"Dan is everything alright?" Ethan managed to ask, despite being exhausted.
"Yea it was a fun trip!" He replied excitedly.
gold decided it was probably a good idea to get them both to the hospital since one just busted his asshole and the other came out of it.
They got in a taxi and as they were on their way the silence was interrupted by Dan "So uh.. does this mean I'm your child now? he technically gave birth to me" He asked curiously.
"Dan please shut the fuck up" Gold replied, clearly frustrated.