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It wasn’t meant to be like this. I promise.
I was supposed to protect you, to love you, to stand by you. And I didn’t. And for that, I am so sorry, brother. I am sorry I betrayed you, that I didn’t hold you in my arms when you came calling for me. I ignored you – told you that you did not belong. And for that, I am sorry.
I should have listened to you, at least listened. Father help me, after telling you so often that I loved you, and how I would always love you no matter what, and how I’d let no harm come to you – I should have stuck by my word.
Or I should never have said it at all.
It wasn’t meant to be like this. I promise.
I didn’t imagine you dying in my arms. Like now. Brother, will you forgive me? I should think not. My actions are unthinkable and unforgivable. I should have fallen with you. I should never have agreed to this – to any of this. Oh, but I had to. You must understand, I love you, and I love father, and choosing between the two of you broke my heart. Broke me.
You see, in Heaven, they whisper about me. They say that I have strayed, gone crazy. Perhaps they’re right. Without you, brother, I am nothing. I hated it. Oh, did I hate casting you down. I wanted to pick you back up and cradle you like now. Only now, once again, I have failed you. Can you forgive me, brother?
It wasn’t meant to be like this. I promise.
I love you. More than you shall ever know. I would dare say even more than Father. Awful of me to say, isn’t it? Especially now. When all the damage is done. I would destroy whole galaxies for you, bring down kings and burn down lands. All for you. It’s too late, I know.
I remember when I first held you. You were so beautiful, my one. You were divinity and glory and light all rolled into one and you were mine. You still are. And I am yours. Forever. I want to follow you – wherever it is you’re going I want to go too. I suppose this is Father’s idea of a cruel joke, send you away from me for good, with no apparent way of me coming with you.
It wasn’t meant to be like this. I promise.
Goodbye, brother. I love you. I have loved you. I always will love you.
Michael, please…
Sleep well, my dearest Morningstar.