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I was walking home, right after I finished the job the boss gave me. That’s when I saw that asshole Dazai walking into some abandoned building.
“What the hell is he doing?” I muttered under my breath, stopping in my path.
As Dazai entered the building, I followed. It’s been a while since I’ve seen him after all. I silently follow him as he climbs the multiple flights of stairs, and climbs the ladder onto the roof. I peek through the door window, not stepping out to be caught. He is holding a bottle of whiskey, and pills. Is he trying to kill himself? Again? What a pain. I heard a sound behind me and turned around to see a rat.
“Shit” I grumbled as I turned back around to see that idiot Dazai pouring the pills in his mouth and chasing them with the whiskey. God damnit.
I swing open the door, “Dazai, what the fuck.”
He quickly looks at me, “oh hey Chuuya <3”
“Don’t hey me, what the hell are you doing you idiot?”
I angrily walked over, “cmon, spit that shit out now.”
“What if I don’t wanna?” Dazai smirked, drinking more whiskey.
“Stop it.” I said, taking it away.
“What the hell Chuuya, give it back!” Dazai yells
“No way in hell asshole” I spat back, “Look, we aren’t partners anymore, I don’t have time for this.”
“Then you can just go, I don’t need any help.” Dazai says with that blank face he uses.
“Yeah right, c'mon let’s go to a hospital or something.”
“I’m good, thanks for the offer Chuuya.” Dazai began walking closer to the edge, “I’m fine as I am.”
“I don’t think so you fucking shithead!” I shouted back. Not even a second later Dazai doubles over and starts coughing up blood.
I rush over to his aid, “ugh cmon Dazai, you’re gonna actually die if you don’t come with me.”
Dazai slapped my hand away, “I don’t care.”
“I care asshole.” I snapped back, I grabbed him and pulled him up, “Let’s go.”
Finally, he stopped resisting and we made it to the stairway. The door shut and Dazai pushed me away running back out. Fuck. I ran after but he was already on the edge of the building, staring at me with dead eyes.
“I don’t want you to save me.” Dazai smiled.
“Please just get down.” I started to get anxious, what if he actually succeeded? I always joked about how I wanted him to die, but it was never true.
“I’m not going to. Unless u want to do a double suicide with me?”
“No, of course not. It isn’t the time to joke. Seriously, get down.” If he falls from this height he won’t survive, and those pills are slowly killing him.
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that.” Dazai’s face went cold, “Farewell.” As he fell backward with his arms out.
“DAZAI!” I shouted and ran after, almost tripping on my own feet. I look over the edge, watching him fall hurt more than I thought. “I hate you.” I said as I jumped after him.
Luckily I was able to grab a hold of his arm and use my ability to get us both safely on the ground.
“What the actual fuck is wrong with you Dazai?” I yelled while panting. But I quieted my voice when I saw the pained look of agony on his face.
“Dazai! Are you okay?” I asked, trying to sound less concerned than I actually was.
“Damn Chuuya, I wanted to go out without pain, this fucking hurts.” Dazai said as he sat on the ground, “You just had to ruin it, huh?”
“Excuse me if I didn’t want the most important person to me to die!” I said in exasperation.
Dazai coughs up more blood, “Then you should’ve taken me up on my double suicide offer then.” He managed a smile, but I could tell he was upset.
“Dazai I don’t wanna fucking die with you, I wanna live with you!” I yelled with tears in my eyes.
“Heh… we’re enemies, I didn’t think you cared.” Dazai was beginning to lose consciousness.
I fell to the ground beside him, “It’s okay, please, just stay awake.”
“Yeah, I don’t think that's going to happen.” Dazai said as he passed out, his head falling on my shoulder.
“DAZAI! Dammit!” I yelled, punching the concrete beneath me.
Think Chuuya, this isn’t the time to be angry . Okay… wait. The agency has that doctor, Yosano. She could probably help him. I grab Dazai and make my way to the agency. It’s almost midnight, I hope she’s there. Dazai looks so peaceful, sucks that he’s dying while he does though.
I bust down the door of the agency, it's dark and quiet. Where the hell is the infirmary anyway?
“Hello! Is anybody here?” I shouted, maybe if somebody is here they’ll just show themself. Yet, it’s still extremely quiet, I would’ve assumed they’d come running at the sound of the door crashing. I take a few steps and enter a random room, doesn’t look like an infirmary to me. The door closes behind me and I get a chill down my spine. I turn and see a cleaver coming down at me.
“What the fuck-” I jump forward holding Dazai tightly, “Hey calm down I-”
They charge again. In an attempt to protect Dazai, they slashed my shoulder, “Agh, chill out with the knife would ya.”
“Who are you, and why do you have Dazai?” A feminine voice said
“Look, he took a bunch of pills, I was just bringing him here to get medical help from Yosano.” I sigh, stepping away from her, blood dripping down my arm.
“Oh. That’s me.” Yosano said turning the light on, “You could’ve just said that from the beginning, and maybe, ya know, NOT BREAK DOWN OUR DOOR.”
“My bad, just help him okay?”
“Alright.”
Yosano leads me to the infirmary. Her computer screen illuminated the room, until she turned the light on. I laid him on the bed.
“Is he going to be okay?” I ask, kind of upset he was out of my arms again.
“Yeah, probably. He does this all the time.” She said getting cleaned up, “You have a seat as well, I cut you pretty bad.”
I think about her words and grab a chair from the side of the room, pulling to the side of the bed to be near Dazai again. “He was coughing up blood before he passed out, I told her.” Concern laced in my voice.
“Knowing Dazai, he probably ingested some other weird stuff.” She put on gloves and checked his pulse. She removed his bandages, revealing his scars, and attached an iv. She then begins using her ability, though all the damage is internal, so nothing cool really happened. She moved quickly and grabbed a syringe from a nearby drawer. She wiped his arm with an antiseptic and quickly found a vein to draw blood from.
As she finished up drawing the blood she needed she said “I’m going to put this sample through testing and see just what the hell this shit has taken.”
“How long until he wakes up?”
“I’m not sure, it’ll probably be a while.” She said grabbing more tools, “I’m just going to stitch you up, since your wound is not deadly.”
“Ah, okay.” I took off my jacket and hung it on the chair, “You can’t use your ability?”
“It only works if you're on the brink of death, I doubt you would like me to beat you up.” Yosano laughs, “Who are you anyway? And how do you know Dazai?”
“I’m Chuuya. We’re ex-partners.” I sighed, “I saw him acting suspicious so I followed him, turns out he was trying to kill himself again. Typical.”
“Wow,” she said, sounding surprised. “I didn’t know that Dazai was into men.”
“What? No!” I said as I felt my cheeks start to heat up. “I meant work partners, not romantic partners.” I said quickly.
“Sure lover boy,” she said, a sarcastic tone in her voice, finishing stitching me up, “He hasn’t tried anything in awhile, he’s been talking about a double suicide recently. Maybe he knew you'd come.” She winked very obviously at me.
I laughed awkwardly, Dazai couldn’t have even known I was coming. But why did the thought that he did, make my heart race a little?
“Anyways, you’re all patched up. Sorry about that” She stood, “you can go home now, thanks for bringing him.”
“Ah thanks… but is it okay if I stay?” I looked at Dazai’s unlively face, “I wouldn’t wanna leave him alone. Plus it’s been awhile since we’ve hung out, so..”
A smirk popped onto her face, “Hehehe okay, whatever you say, Chuuya.” She grabbed her bag to leave, “I’ll be on my way, I’ll tell Kunikida you’re here so they don't try to kill you, bye-bye.”
“Bye..” I said as she walked out, leaving me alone with Dazai.
Being alone with Dazai made my heart skip a beat, even though I knew he’s unconscious. I looked at his face, he was uncomfortably pale. But as I stared at his face my eyes drifted down to his lips. I started to notice my face was moving closer to his and I jolted back. What the hell is wrong with me? I thought. My eyes drifted to his arms, which usually have bandages covering them. They were covered in scars. Why couldn’t he just see I cared about him? That there are people who want him to live. He’s such an idiot.
I hadn’t noticed the tears falling down my face until now. I rubbed my eyes vigorously. Why does Dazai have this effect on me? Why do I have to care about that asshole so much?
I wanna punch him in his stupid fucking face, but at the same time, I want to kiss every scar on his body. I want him to know that I care about him…so much.
I put my face in my hands, I shouldn’t be thinking this. I look at the clock, it's somehow almost 2 am. It wouldn’t hurt to sleep I suppose, he won’t wake up anytime soon anyways… Yeah, and maybe I can clear my mind of these weird thoughts. I lean back in my chair and attempt to sleep, trying not to let Dazai’s beautiful face flood my thoughts. It was hard.
I woke up to the sound of voices. I slowly opened my eyes to see two of Dazai’s fellow agency members having a conversation in the doorway of the room. Looking closer I saw that the two voices belonged to that tiger boy and that weird guy Kunikida. I couldn’t understand exactly what they were saying, but eventually, they looked at me.
“Oh, It seems you are awake.” Kunikida said, adjusting those ugly ass glasses.
“Morning!” Atsushi smiled.
“Yosano told us what happened.” Kunikida said, backing away from me a bit.
“Thank you for bringing him, sir.” Atsushi said looking at Dazai, “I’m glad he’s okay.”
“Yeah, whatever. It was no big deal.” Chuuya sighed, “Do you guys want me to leave? Probably not best for me to chill here, huh?”
I looked at them for an answer, expecting an immediate yes. Instead I saw the look of pity on Kunikida’s face, hearing his answer very clearly when he spoke. “As much as I want to tell you to get the hell out, I have enough human decency to allow you to stay with him. I can see right through you Nakahara.” He said, an icy tone in his words.
“I’ll try to be on my best behavior.” I joked, trying to release the tension. I look over to Dazai. He’s still out cold.
“Did his blood results come back?” As much as I didn’t wanna talk to Kunikida, I am curious.
“Ah. Yes. All Yosano said was it was a mixture of drugs and poisons.” Kunikida sighed, “She didn’t specify. The details aren’t all that important. What matters is that idiot’s alive.”
“I hope he wakes up soon.” Atsushi said walking over to Dazai.
“Yeah well we have work to attend to, Atsushi.” Kunikida glared at me, “We’re gonna leave, don’t try anything.”
I waited for the door to shut before turning around to inspect Dazai. He looked like he had gained some color back to his beautiful skin. I’m glad he’s looking better, at least better than last night. I guess I’ll just sit here while I wait for him to wake up.
People came in and out of the infirmary, but nobody cared to interact with me much. Maybe word spread that I was a part of the mafia. Not like I care. At around 8pm the last person left, and I was alone with Dazai again. God this is extremely boring.
“You better wake up soon, you piece of shit.” I sigh, “I’m hungry and the boss is probably wondering why I didn’t come back from my mission.”
These agency members kinda suck. They didn’t even offer me water or food. Why would you leave the mafia for this piece of junk? He really is such an idiot sometimes.
Around 12am I woke up to a rustle on the bed under the blankets. I slowly pick my head up from its previous spot on the bed to see Dazai’s chocolate brown eyes fluttering open, slowly trying to adjust to the small bit of light coming from the lamp in the corner of the room. I jump out of my seat.
“Dazai! You’re awake.” I can’t help but smile, “How are you feeling?”
“Like shit.” He rubbed his tired eyes, “how long have I been out, and how did you manage to get me here?”
“Uh, about 24 hours. And I broke down the front door. Your weird ass doctor was still here even so late.”
“Makes sense.” Dazai let out a faint smile, “Sorry for troubling you.”
“It’s fine, I’m used to your bullshit anyways.”
“Why’d you even save me in the first place? My death would have just been one more thing that you didn’t have to worry about doing yourself.”
“What do you mean why? I told you before that you’re the most important person in the world to me Dazai.”
“You act like you hate me though? That doesn’t make much sense you idiot.”
“I guess you’re right. I’m still not gonna stop though.” I laughed a bit, as Dazai sat up.
“Agh, my head is killing me.”
“Isn’t that what you want?”
Dazai let himself laugh, he had such a beautiful smile.
I thought about just how destroyed I would be if Dazai were to really die. He’s the light in my life, the only person that really gets me.
“Dazai?” I said quietly.
“Yes, Chuuya?” He replied
I stared into his eyes, finally realizing that I was in love with Osamu fucking Dazai.
“I just want you to know that I care about you a lot, and there are a lot of others that care about you as well. So.. I really want you to talk to someone next time you start to feel this alone.” I said in a somber tone.
“Won’t the boss get irritated if we hang out? It’s been so long.”
“I don’t really care.”
“Thanks, Chuuya.” Dazai sighed, “but can we please stop talking all serioussss, it’s so boring:(“
I gave him a light smack on the shoulder, “Whatever, I said what I needed to say. Are you feeling better now?”
“I could probably walk around and stuff, yeah.” He sighed, “I have this massive headache though. I’m fine.”
“That’s what you get, you dumbass.”
The room goes quiet for what seems longer than it actually was. Then I decided to take a chance.
“Hey Dazai?” I said
“Yeah?” He responded
“I wanna do something, but you have to promise you won’t get mad.” I said, my voice shaking.
“I promise I won‘t get mad chibi.” He said sweetly.
I looked up at him, he was staring at me as well. I stared into his eyes for a few moments before grabbing the sides of his face and pressing our lips together. My heart felt like it was going to explode. It seemed like the kiss had lasted an eternity before I pulled away to catch my breath.
“I’m sorry that was so weird of me, I’ll go.” I rambled.
As I got up to leave Dazai grabbed my hand, pulling me down and catching my lips with his own.
After he let go of my hand I fell backwards into my chair. “Wait, I’m confused.” I said. Looking up at Dazai once again.
“About what? Obviously I don’t want you to leave, idiot.” He smirked.
Bastard, I thought as I felt a blush creep onto my face. “I…I” I tried to speak, but only ended up stuttering like a schoolgirl.
“You what?” Dazai asked with that hot fucking smirk of his.
“I love you Dazai, I don’t think I could have gone on if you were really gone.” I said as tears started to fall from my eyes.
He cupped my face in his hands, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” He sighed, “though I gotta say, this probably was the worst time ever to confess.”
“Oh-“
“Omg! Dazai just tried to commit suicide, lemme win him over with a kiss right after he awakens from his slumber!” Dazai joked.
“Well sorry I’d only just realized like ten minutes ago.” I snapped back with a smirk of my own.
“Wow, then you act fast huh.” He smirked.
“Shut up idiot!” I said in a quieter voice, feeling my embarrassment rise.
“And what if I don’t?” He said getting closer, I felt his hot breath on my neck and I went quiet, “Look who’s shutting up now, hm?”
“You’re so hot when you say things like that” I said breathlessly.
“I think I need to teach you a lesson,” Dazai said seductively.
“I think I wanna learn,” I said as got closer to his face.
“Do you now?” He said with a smirk.
“Fuck me Dazai” I groaned
And fuck me he did
I don’t know how much time had passed, but we snuggled our naked bodies together as I felt Dazai run his fingers through my hair.
“Chuuya?” He said quietly.
“Yea?” I replied back.
“I’m in love with you Chuuya” he said as he looked into my eyes.
I felt tears start to prick in my eyes as I said “Damn, I sure hope you are shithead…I’m in love with you too Dazai.”
He pulled me close into a hug, which quickly turned into a passionate kiss.
We separated from each other and stared at each other for what felt like hours.
“Hey Dazai, can you promise me something?” I asked.
“Of course, Chibi” he said back.
“Please don’t try to leave me again, I don’t think I could go on with you.” I said with tears in my eyes.
“It’s not that easy, but I promise I’ll try for you.” He replied.
I grabbed his arm and kissed every scar I could see, “You are such a dumbass.”
“Aw so romantic~” he said sarcastically.
I set his arm free and sighed. Dazai is right, we can’t be together if we’re enemies. Or, at least, it’ll be difficult. The boss has always favored Dazai, would he even mind? I’m sure the worry on my face was prominent.
“What’s with the sad face, Chuuyaa?”
“I just- I just don’t understand why you left us all. You don’t fit in here.” I said anxiously, “and now we probably are going to struggle to stay with each other and-“
“You are such a baby sometimes~” he giggles, “Don’t worry about what’ll happen. I have my ways.” He winked.
I punched him in the chest, “Fuck you.”
“Again?”
I felt a blush rise on my face. How is he so hot yet an idiot at the same time.
————————Time skip———————————
It’s been a few months since my last suicide attempt, and Chuuya and I have been seeing each other in secret since then.
Me and the rest of the armed detective agency had just gotten done with a difficult job, and we went back to the agency to celebrate.
I was sitting on a desk drinking a glass of whiskey with Ranpo, Kunikida, and Yosano. The kids were already back at the dormitory because they were quite tired.
I was mostly tuned out of the conversation the others were having until I heard Ranpo call my name.
“Hey Dazai, do you have a special someone a the moment?” Asked Ranpo.
“Why do you wanna know?”
“You’re disappearing more than usual.” Ranpo glared.
“I would have to agree.” Kunikida said.
“Ooo guys I know.” Yosano glared, “it’s probably that Chuuya guy that stayed with him when he was in the infirmary. They totally like each other.”
“Haha yeah right.” I shrugged, “He’s an ass.”
“Sureeee.” Yasano said, sipping more of her drink.
I waited around ten minutes before finishing my drink and getting up.
“I think I’m going to head home.” I announced to the others.
“Sure you are.” Yosano teased
“Yeah, yeah bye.” I walked out, I’m relieved I could get out of there. They are so nosy. But I suppose Yonsao is correct, of course. I’m not surprised they noticed, I guess I have been different lately.
I walked to Chuuya and I’s usual meeting spot. It was almost the time that we’d agreed on meeting. When I arrived Chuuya was already there.
“Hey asshole.” Chuuya greeted me.
“Heyyy Chuuyaaa.” I replied, holding open my arms for a hug.
“Pfft.” Chuuya and I hugged, and it turned into a kiss. I never really expected us to be like this one day. Not that I’m complaining, he is so amazing. We separated.
“You smell like alcohol.” Chuuya grinned.
“Yeah, we were all getting drunk at the agency. Then they started interrogating me about my love life. They are sooo nosy.”
“I denied anything, but they think it’s you.” I laughed, “My bad.”
“At least you don’t have Akutagawa on your ass about everywhere you go.” Chuuya replied.
“I get that. He won’t leave my poor Atsushi alone. :(” I sighed.
That was when I heard shuffling behind the wall that we were standing by.
“What the fuck is that?” Chuuya whispered.
“Ooo I hope it’s a cat!”
“Yeah I doubt it, dumbass.” Chuuya said, “Should we check it out?”
“I told you guys this was a bad idea.” A voice that sounded like Kunikida said
“Who the hell is there?” Chuuya shouted
“Noooo you’ve found me!” I joked as they revealed themself. Kunikida, Ranpo, and Yosano had followed me.
“It was Yosano’s idea.” Kunikida said, “I didn’t want to come.”
“Haha but we caught you red handed, Dazai.” Yosano smirked.
“I knew the whole time.” Ranpo sighed.
“Of course you did, Ranpo” I said.
I noticed the look of panic on Chuuya’s face.
I walked closer to him, “Hey Chibi, what’s wrong?” I asked.
“They aren’t gonna make us stop right?”
“Nah, I could care less.” Yosano laughed, “I just wanted to see if my prediction was correct.”
Kunikida adjusts his glasses, “Yeah it’s fine, just don’t get in the way of work.”
“I wanna go home.” Ranpo said.
“Come here Chibi.” I said pulling Chuuya into a hug.
Chuuya kicked me off, “Gah stop it asshole.”
“Awww he’s shy, I’m sorry guys.” I teased
“I Am Not.” Chuuya mumbled.
“Well anyways, we should get going.” I said.
“Come on Chuu ya, let’s go to my house tonight.” I said sweetly.
“Ugh okay.”
“Aww they are so cute right guys?” Yosano said
“Sure.” Kunikida said, “Let’s go, we have work tomorrow.”
“Hey Dazai.” Chuuya said.
“Yes love?” I replied
“I love you.” Chuuya said.
“Aww Chibi, I love you too.” I said sweetly as I grabbed his hand and we continued walking towards my house.
~~~~~~~~~The End~~~~~~~~