Work Text:
returning to mondstadt is usually a dreadful experience for albedo. he would much rather stay in dragonspine, where the cold has become warmth to him and the quiet and peaceful atmosphere makes it easier for him to work. dragonspine and mondstadt are polar opposites
mondstadt’s streets are bustling with energy. you can smell good hunter’s foods, hear the blacksmith hammering at a piece of weaponry, witness the drunks from angel’s share stumbling across the streets, find worshippers praying near the barbatos statue…
dragonspine, however, the complete opposite. it’s a rare sight to behold whenever albedo catches someone other than the adventure’s guild or the traveler wandering around the snowy fields of dragonspine.
dragonspine offered albedo that peace he needed to sketch and finish his experiments. it offered albedo that chance to be alone and get his thoughts in order.
while dragonspine was albedo’s ideal place to get work done, it was also rather lonely. while mondstadt is livelier, mondstadt is also the home of his family. returning from dragonspine isn’t so bad whenever albedo gets to see klee overjoyed by his return.
but there was also someone else that made albedo’s return to mondstadt all the much greater. there was nothing else albedo anticipated more than coming home and being peppered with kisses from kaeya. kaeya always made is easier for albedo to prefer mondstadt over dragonspine.
albedo’s recent trip to dragonspine was one he would never forget. he wanted to tell kaeya all of the details, but in order to do that albedo would have to inform kaeya of his true nature. and that was a step albedo just wasn’t ready to take yet.
as albedo wandered the halls of the knights of favonius headquarters in search of kaeya, he wondered how kaeya would react if albedo did tell him he was a synthetic human. kaeya would more than likely be mortified. he wouldn’t want anything to do with albedo ever again.
how else would someone react upon discovering the person they love is nothing but chalk molded into a person? albedo was certain kaeya wouldn’t cut all ties with him, but he would more than likely break up with him, and that was a risk albedo wasn’t ready to take.
upon turning the corner, that’s when albedo finally saw kaeya at the end of the hallway. albedo couldn’t stop the smile that spread across his face and he picked up his pace to reach kaeya faster. suddenly, kaeya turned around, but his reaction was the last thing albedo expected.
kaeya looked shocked when he caught sight of albedo, and then his expression turned into fury. he stepped away from albedo to put some distance between them and albedo gazed up at him, confused. he titled his head to the side and pondered what would make kaeya react this way.
“kaeya, i’ve returned from dragonspine and i just-“ albedo flinched when kaeya abruptly cut him off. “great, you can inform master jean of your return instead of me, then.” albedo’s eyes widened at the statement and how stern kaeya’s tone of voice was.
kaeya never used that tone when he was speaking to albedo. truth be told, kaeya’s professionalism voice concerned albedo, for kaeya never used this tone except when he was discussing absolutely serious matters. albedo blinked a few times and tried to brush it off.
“i just wanted to see you,” albedo finished, the look in kaeya’s eyes unchanging. kaeya simply shrugged at that. “strange, because i don’t want to see you,” kaeya snapped. albedo went rigid, his body unmoving, words dying on his tongue. what was he supposed to say to that?
kaeya didn’t leave albedo any time to respond, and instead turned on his heel and waved albedo off. “there’s no reason to speak to me unless you have work to discuss. i have nothing more to say to you.”
albedo stood there in the hallway, alone, not sure what to do with himself. did albedo do something to upset kaeya? there was nothing albedo could think of on the top of his head. kaeya had never treated albedo like that before, so he wasn’t sure how to react.
albedo would try to talk to him again tomorrow. after all, he didn’t have much time to spend with kaeya for he had to sort through the lab notes he took on dragonspine. albedo would get the chance to talk to him tomorrow and sort things out, he decided.
however, albedo’s plan quickly fell apart when he realized kaeya was adamant on avoiding albedo at all costs. whenever they were in the same room, kaeya would walk out before albedo got the chance to say something.
during meetings, kaeya would refuse to look at him and was always the first to leave. whenever albedo spotted kaeya in town and tried to speak with him, kaeya would disappear into the nearest tavern, knowing albedo would never dare step into such a place.
and although albedo had kaeya’s schedule memorized by heart and would ask jean what he would be doing that day, albedo still couldn’t catch up. kaeya was usually gone or done with his task by the time albedo got there. kaeya was avoiding him, and he couldn’t figure out why.
finally, albedo took drastic measures and decided to do something highly unprofessional, and that was showing up at kaeya’s office late into the night. it was the only time he could think of where he would have kaeya’s undivided attention and where kaeya couldn’t avoid him.
albedo didn’t even bother with knocking, for he knew that if kaeya answered the door and saw albedo the door would more than likely be slammed in his face. when albedo opened the door, he found kaeya hunched over his desk and surrounded by paperwork.
he was writing something down with one of his hands on his forehead in concentration. when albedo walked in, kaeya merely glanced up and rolled his eyes. he sighed and pushed back in his chair, an eyebrow raising in annoyance.
“how can i help you, chief alchemist?” kaeya said, not paying much attention to albedo as he continued to scribble on the paperwork in front of him. albedo took a deep breath and rolled his shoulders back, mind racing with what he should say.
he probably should have scripted what he would say when he finally met kaeya face to face. but he didn’t, so albedo decided to say the first thing that came to him. “kaeya, i know you’ve been avoiding me for awhile. i don’t know why, but i-“
“if this is about us personally, chief alchemist, i’m afraid i’ll have to dismiss you. our relationship is strictly business, nothing more, nothing less.” kaeya’s voice was monotone, and his words cut through albedo like a knife.
albedo hated the way kaeya said “chief alchemist.” kaeya hadn’t called him that in a long time, even when they were simply friends. for as long as he could remember, kaeya and albedo always referred to each other by first name. albedo tried to steady his breathing when he spoke.
“i don’t understand why you’re acting like this, kaeya. i’ve been trying to talk to you for weeks and you’ve been childishly avoiding me. please tell me-“ kaeya scoffed, cutting him off once again. “childish,” he mocked. he stood up and pointed at the door.
“please see yourself out, chief alchemist. and avoid talking to me unless you have knights work to discuss.” by this point, albedo was starting to become furious. kaeya avoiding him and refusing to listen to him was making this a lot harder than it needed to be.
albedo opened his mouth to say something, but kaeya cut him off once more. “out, albedo,” he hissed, his teeth gritting. “i don’t want to see you here again.” albedo’s eyes widened at the sternness of kaeya’s voice.
a strange sensation washed over him, and albedo felt tears prickling at his eyes. many emotions ran it’s course through him, but he was also panicking at the fact that he was about to cry. albedo wasn’t even aware he could do that.
kaeya’s expression turned somewhat softer at albedo’s reaction, but he stood his ground. he wavered just slightly, but not enough to tell albedo that he didn’t mean it and he wanted him to stay. albedo really wanted kaeya to tell him he wanted him to stay. but he didn’t.
albedo made his way out of kaeya’s office, shutting the door as he stepped out. before he knew it, tears were slipping down his cheeks at a rapid pace. he had never cried before and his chest and throat felt tight. he wasn’t sure what to do with himself.
albedo also discovered that night that trying to stop yourself from crying was incredibly hard.
~
despite wanting to lock himself in his room and never speak to anyone ever again, albedo’s life and duties as an alchemist must go on. he hadn’t been keeping track of how many days had gone by since kaeya forced him out of his office, but he knew that it was at least a few weeks.
albedo realized he was experiencing a human emotion called heartbreak. albedo had witnessed others fall to this emotion and how mentally draining it was. unfortunately, albedo was victim to it this time, and he had no idea how to stop it.
albedo rarely ever saw kaeya, but when he did, he had to avert his eyes quickly before tears started to form. heartbreak was the worst human emotion albedo had ever experienced. albedo wished he understood humans better, then maybe he would understand why kaeya was upset at him.
despite albedo’s emotions getting the better of him, he tried to conceal it while he was around klee. the last thing he wanted to let her see was her big brother giving into negative emotions. around klee, he put on a smile and tried to forget about kaeya.
unfortunately for albedo, klee was a lot more observant than he had thought. “why are you and mr. kaeya avoiding each other?” klee had asked him one day, prompting albedo to look up from his sketchbook and stare at her in shock. albedo laughs, determined to deny it.
“what ever would make you think that, klee?” albedo asked, biting his tongue to keep the tears back. the last thing he needed right now was klee making him talk about kaeya. “i haven’t seen you and mr. kaeya talk in forever! you guys used to do everything together.”
albedo says nothing, and klee keeps going. “mr. kaeya looks like he hasn’t gotten any sleep at all! there are always dark circles under his eyes and he’s no fun to play with anymore. he’s always sad and keeps himself locked up in his office. i miss when kaeya was happy.”
albedo wasn’t sure what to say. how could someone as young as klee understand human emotions better than he could? albedo pretended to scribble something on his sketchbook, losing all inspiration to finish the piece he was working on.
“well, kaeya made some decisions and decided he didn’t want to see me that much anymore, that’s all. it’s complicated, klee, but it won’t change the time we spend together,” albedo explained, trying to keep his voice from quivering. he hated this. he hated everything about it.
klee huffed, clearly not satisfied with albedo’s answer. “that’s not fair! why does mr. kaeya just decide he doesn’t want to be friends with you anymore? i thought you loved him?” albedo paused. “i do love him,” he whispered under his breath, not loud enough for klee to hear.
albedo shrugged, knowing he couldn’t give klee an answer that would satisfy her. “that’s just how relationships work, klee. you don’t have to understand why things end, they just do. whether you want them to or not.” albedo really didn’t want his relationship with kaeya to end.
“have you tried to talk to mr. kaeya about it?” klee asked. “i tried, but he didn’t want to listen to me. there was nothing i could do.” klee stood up from her spot on the floor and and gripped onto albedo’s knee. “then you need to try again! i think you will be a lot happier.”
albedo pondered the idea for a moment. “i don’t know, klee. i don’t want him getting more upset with me than he already is.” klee started to shake albedo’s knee in protest. “come on, albedo! please, please? i just want to see you and mr. kaeya happy again.”
the more albedo thought about it, the more the idea sounded appealing. it had been a few weeks now and maybe this time kaeya would hear albedo out. maybe albedo would finally understand what he did wrong and be able to fix it. finally, albedo nodded. “okay.”
and by the way klee’s eyes lit up, albedo realized he had made the right decision.
~
albedo knew approaching kaeya through his office would not be the best method this time. instead, albedo decided he would take a shot at talking to kaeya in the tavern, where he was most likely to be found after the moon had risen.
albedo hated the tavern. it wasn’t the wine or alcohol he hated, but the people inside the tavern. he rarely ever went inside unless he had to fetch kaeya for something important. now seemed like one of those moments, but albedo still dreaded walking into the tavern.
what acted as albedo’s heart skipped a beat when he saw kaeya seated at the front to the bar. albedo expected no less when he found kaeya with his head down and a glass of wine in his hand, diluc standing behind the counter with an annoyed expression on his face.
when diluc caught sight of albedo, his mouth dropped in shock. he looked from kaeya and then back to albedo. albedo realized then that kaeya must have drunkenly spilled his situation to diluc, judging by how shocked diluc was to see him.
“say, diluc, i don’t s’pose you’ve ever been in love before, have you?” kaeya asked, surprisingly being able to form a coherent sentence. diluc looked back over at albedo before shaking his head. “can’t say i have.”
kaeya suddenly slammed his glass on the table, causing albedo to flinch. diluc, however, seemed unfazed. “good! worst feeling in the world. never try it out.” kaeya tipped his glass back and placed it back on the table, expecting diluc to fill it back up. he didn’t.
albedo took slow steps towards kaeya, his fists clenching from nervousness. when he reached kaeya’s side, he spoke his name softly. kaeya, suddenly aware of albedo’s presence, groaned and waved albedo off. “see, this is what i mean,” kaeya said, not intending for albedo to hear.
“what can i help you with, al- chief alchemist? a bit late to be discussing knight work, don’t you think?” albedo shook his head. “this isn’t about the knights, kaeya, and you know it. it’s about us.” kaeya groaned again and rubbed his temples.
“thought i told you our relationship was strictly business?” kaeya turned back to diluc and gestured to his glass. diluc turned his back and ignored him, clearly not interested in kaeya and albedo’s quarrel. “kaeya,” albedo brought his voice to a whisper, “please talk to me.”
kaeya scoffed. “weren’t you the one that said you were too good to discuss things with the likes of me?” albedo’s eyes widened at that, and suddenly diluc became a lot more interested in the conversation. “kaeya… what are you talking about?”
“see, now he’s acting like it never even happened. never fall in love, diluc! never!” kaeya grumbled and buried his head into the crook of his arm. albedo started to realize this wasn’t going the way he had hoped. albedo reached out to touch kaeya on the shoulder.
kaeya ripped away from his touch and glared at albedo. “what are you doing here, albedo? you ended things with me. you said you couldn’t ever love someone as messed up as me. now you’re trying to talk to me about it? i don’t want to talk. i want you to go away.”
albedo was stunned, his eyebrows knitting together in confusion. when in the world had albedo said all of that? he would never say such cruel things to kaeya, even if they weren’t on good terms. “kaeya, there’s a misunderstanding here. if we can just-“
“albedo, how many times do i have to say it?! i don’t want to see you! we broke up; we’re done! there’s nothing i have to say to you! i don’t love you anymore, so just go away!” kaeya snapped at him. upon realizing what he had said, kaeya’s eyes widened at his own statements.
in that moment, albedo felt as if his entire body had shut down. his heart stopped beating, his brain stopped thinking, the synthetic blood that ran through him came to a halt. everyone in the tavern was now giving all of their attention to them.
yet again, kaeya seemed shocked at his own words and looked as if he wanted to apologize. but he didn’t. he just sat there and watched as albedo desperately tried to fight back tears. oh, how albedo so, so miserably failed.
kaeya’s breath hitched at the realization that albedo was crying, and yet, he still didn’t move or utter another word. he simply gripped onto the glass in his hand tighter, staring into albedo’s eyes and pleading for him to go, to be anywhere else but around him.
albedo tried to swallow the sob that attempted to rip from his throat, but it came out as a small whimper instead. embarrassed, hopes shattered, and heart broken all over again, albedo left the tavern without a single glance back at kaeya.
kaeya didn’t even bother to watch albedo leave. he sighed and turned back to diluc. “maybe you were a little too hard on him,” diluc stated. kaeya shrugged. “compared to what he said to me? absolutely not.” kaeya gestured to his glass again, and this time, diluc filled it up.
~
word on mondstadt’s streets says that the chief alchemist hasn’t stepped out of his room for days. people speculate that he’s working on something big, something groundbreaking, even. master jean urges everyone to give albedo as much space as possible and to leave him be.
kaeya, however, knows the truth. albedo isn’t working on some groundbreaking experiment. if he was, it would have spread quickly among the knights. instead, the only thing that spread was the fact that albedo hadn’t stepped out of his room in days.
kaeya tried not to pay mind to it. sure, did he have a lot more work to take on now that albedo was avoiding his responsibilities? and sure, in the back of his mind did he know that he needed to talk to albedo and sort things out with him? maybe, but he decided to leave it alone.
albedo made his choice, after all. and that was breaking up with kaeya and saying things like “did you really think i could ever love as someone as reckless and inefficient as you?” kaeya knew that albedo could be stern if the situation allowed it, but ouch.
kaeya decided that avoiding albedo and avoiding talking to him just like he avoided most of his problems was the way to go. was it healthy? absolutely not, but it wasn’t anything a drink at angel’s share couldn’t help him forget.
and forget he did. night after night, kaeya found himself in angel’s share drinking up all of diluc’s stock. and when diluc finally cut him off, kaeya went to the next best tavern: the cat’s tail. jean was worried about kaeya, saying he was slowly drinking himself to death.
but why should he care? who in their right mind would care about kaeya if he died? the only thing the knights would grieve was the work they would have to take on in kaeya’s place. diluc wouldn’t care, and albedo most definitely wouldn’t, either.
running away and drinking back his problems always seemed more efficient than solving them head on, kaeya figures. after all, it’s been working for all these years, why would it suddenly stop?
but sometimes, kaeya can’t avoid all his problems. for instance, when jean assigns him with the task of checking in on albedo and aiding him to get back to work. “why can’t sucrose do it? she’s closer to him.” jean sighed, she knew it would be difficult to convince kaeya.
“sucrose is currently taking on all of albedo’s tasks while he’s currently… dealing with some things. she’s bombarded with work. you, however, have free time and can see albedo. after all, i think you two are long due for a nice chat.” kaeya rolls his eyes. “yeah, right.”
so, that’s how kaeya found himself outside of albedo’s lab door, suddenly wishing that inazuma’s archon would send a lighting bolt right down on him and knock him dead. it seemed much easier to die rather than confront albedo and tell him to get back to work.
kaeya ran his hand down his face in an attempt to prepare himself to speak to albedo again. he takes a deep breath before knocking at the door. just as kaeya expected, albedo didn’t answer. but kaeya knew albedo was on the other side of that door.
kaeya didn’t bother to shout through the door or knock again, simply deciding to open the door. however, once he saw the train wreck inside of albedo’s lab, he suddenly wished he had never listened to jean at all and told her he wouldn’t do it.
there were all sorts of alchemy notes and drawings strewn across the floor. the crafting desk was knocked over, books fallen from their shelves and littering the floor. there were broken potions and materials albedo often used in his experiments scattered around the room.
it was an absolute mess. if albedo had told kaeya that barbatos himself had created a huge wind gust in his laboratory, kaeya would have believed it. after inspecting the mess for a little while longer kaeya found albedo in the corner of the room.
kaeya had never seen albedo so disorganized and disoriented before. albedo had his knees up to his chest and his arms wrapped around his legs as if to hide himself in a ball. broken sobs came from his direction and he didn’t even react when the door opened.
seeing albedo in such a way broke the anger kaeya held onto for all of these weeks. in that moment, kaeya forgot all about it and his priority was to make albedo feel better and protect him at all costs (however, maybe that priority never went away, kaeya just buried it deep).
“oh, albedo…” kaeya mutters, stepping farther into the room and shutting the door. at the sound of kaeya’s voice, albedo finally looked up, and the sight of kaeya only further threw him father into his breakdown. as much as he wanted to, he didn’t dare reach for kaeya.
the more and more albedo cried, the more he realized just how painful it was. his throat was sore, his eyes were puffy, and the amount of times he nearly pulled out his own hair were more than he would like to admit. heartbreak hurt. a lot.
“albedo…” kaeya starts again, his voice the most soothing albedo has heard it in weeks. kaeya bends down so he can move albedo’s hair out of his face and cup the side of his face to ensure albedo was looking at him.
albedo wanted to look at kaeya, but he was scared kaeya would have that annoyed look on his face. it was the same look kaeya had given him for these past few weeks, and he couldn’t see it again. not when he was like this. disappointing kaeya was the last thing he wanted to do.
“look at me, albedo,” kaeya says, his voice comforting albedo greatly. and, ah, albedo tried to avoid looking at him, but who was albedo to ever deny kaeya anything? albedo gripped onto himself tighter and met kaeya’s eyes.
and to his surprise, kaeya was looking at him like he had hung every star in the sky in teyvat. kaeya was looking at him like nothing had ever happened between them. “what happened here, albedo?” kaeya asks, tucking a strand of hair behind albedo’s ear.
albedo went to wipe the tears that were sitting on the edge of his eyes. “i was… i was trying to find a way to become more human. so maybe i could understand why you were mad at me. so i could understand why you didn’t love me anymore.”
kaeya’s heart broke at those words, and he was suddenly reminded that he had told albedo that he didn’t love him anymore. he had said that out of anger, obviously not meaning it, just so he could try to get his point across so albedo would leave him alone.
after all, it was albedo who had broken up with kaeya, so kaeya wasn’t sure why albedo seemed to be taking this as hard as he did. “become more human? what are you talking about?” kaeya decided to try and avoid discussing the two of them for a moment.
“kaeya, i’m not-“ albedo cut himself off by burying his face in his hands, too ashamed to look at kaeya. “i’m a synthetic human being. i was created by alchemy by my master, rhinedottir. i didn’t ever want to tell you because i knew you would shut me out.”
kaeya blinked a few times, trying to fully process what albedo had said. a human made up from the bones of alchemy? that’s a first. “shut you out?” kaeya laughed softly. “now why do you think i would ever shut you out? you were the one who broke up with me.”
albedo wanted to say something, but the words died on his tongue. kaeya kept talking instead. “i shut you out like that because you broke up with me and told me i was good for nothing. you said things like ‘no wonder diluc doesn’t consider you a brother anymore’.”
kaeya’s voice quivered slightly, but he kept going. “you called me incompetent and inefficient, said i could never get the job done right. that i always messed things up no matter what i did. that our relationship was just a test for you to see how far i would go.”
“words like that cut deep, albedo. i don’t know why you expected me to be so willing to talk to you after that. to be honest, i don’t know why i’m here comforting you now, but i am.” kaeya is meeting albedo’s eyes again, and that’s when everything clicks into place for albedo.
“oh.” albedo mutters. “i see. it seems you have also been subjected to meeting my imposter. he seems to be quite determined in ruining the life i have built up for myself,” albedo concluded. while albedo seemed satisfied with now knowing the truth, kaeya was nothing but confused.
“albedo, if this is some kind of sick joke-“ this time, it’s albedo who cuts kaeya off. “it’s not. you can ask the traveler. while in dragonspine, we encountered someone who looks just like me and has the same mannerisms as me. the traveler says he had me down perfectly.”
“it must have been him who said all those cruel things to you,” albedo concludes. “i’m not sure why it didn’t cross my mind before; i just never would have thought he would try and ruin my relationship with you.” although albedo had explained it, kaeya still seemed lost.
kaeya’s mind is running rapidly to keep up with albedo. “but how… how are there two of you?” albedo sighs, reluctant to have to explain into more detail about how he is not human. “i was a successful experiment. however, with every success comes failure.”
albedo seemed calm enough at this point, so at least kaeya had enough reassurance that albedo wasn’t going to cry again. that was something he wanted to prevent even if it took his own life. “in this case, i was the successful experiment and my imposter was the failure.”
“it’s… a long story,” albedo finishes, his eyes dart away to look at anything else in the room that isn’t kaeya. he had never felt more judged before in his life. “i suppose… now that you know the truth about me, you don’t want to be with me anymore.”
kaeya laughed out loud at that, taking albedo’s hands into his own. “why would you ever think that, albedo? what you are, whether you’re a real human or not, doesn’t matter to me. you’re albedo to me, chief alchemist of the knights of favonius and someone i love very much.”
albedo’s eyes widened, his heart rapidly beating at kaeya’s words. “love…?” he said, quite unsure to trust what kaeya was saying. “you said in the tavern you didn’t love me anymore.” kaeya hated being reminded of the cruel things he said to albedo.
“i was drunk, i was upset, and i was trying to cope with losing you.” kaeya let’s go of one of albedo’s hands so he can tip his chin up. “albedo, there will never come a day where i will ever stop loving you. i can only hope that you’ll feel the same.”
“i do.” albedo says it so softly that kaeya would have missed it if he wasn’t currently holding onto albedo’s every word. and both albedo and kaeya know what’s going to happen next. it had become such a normal practice for them that they fell into the same rhythm every time.
when albedo kisses kaeya for what feels like the first time in years, this, albedo realizes, is what it means to truly be human. to love someone unconditionally and be willing to give up everything for them. that was exactly how albedo felt whenever he was with kaeya.
every time they kissed, held hands, looked at each other across the table during meetings, kept each other company when one of them was busy with paperwork… each one of these things had made albedo all the more human and he didn’t even realize it.
in the beginning, albedo was born from the dusts of chalk with the help of alchemy. he was a synthetic human then. but now, upon meeting kaeya and being loved by him, albedo knows what it truly feels like to be a real human. and, regardless of his roots, that’s what he was.
for as long as albedo is loved by kaeya, he is human.