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Wei Wuxian led his army of the dead through the battle. He ignored the burn in his arm, and the slight breathlessness he experienced as he played Chenqing, commanding his corpse army towards the fleet of Wen shoulders. He enjoyed watching them cower even though they were standing in with swords raised.
Wei Wuxian began to blow a little more forcefully, encouraging the puppets into a rage filled storm that tore through the Wen cultivators. He took a deep breath, wincing at the almost unbearable stench of the corpses and coppery air. He decided to overlook the fact that he was fighting the Wens with demonic cultivation instead of the “rightful” path of chi cultivation. He scowled at his own thoughts. It was not the time to think of this, he reminded himself bitterly, I don’t regret my choices. Taking another deep breath, through his mouth this time, Wei Wuxian opened his eyes. Half of his army were taken down, but so were more than half of the Wens.
The night was still young and the moon was hidden behind the clouds, a relief really because at least he wouldn’t see the gore that was his doing. But fate would have it that the winds picked up and began blowing strongly, enough to shift the clouds and reveal pale moonlight. Wei Wuxian felt his stomach roil with discomfort when he saw the damage done. Corpses lined on the ground their blood staining the ground a dark ugly colour, the fierce corpses did not kill anyone neatly or mercifully. Wei Wuxian brushed his disgust off and focused his energy into corralling the remaining puppets to fight.
He noticed that a few people were still standing but were heavily injured, he quickly dealt with them and took a final sweep of the ground. He pulled Chengqing off his lips and raised his head up to gaze at the clouded sky. He felt his energy drain, his limbs weighing him and he only just resisted collapsing on to his knees. Wei Wuxian realised how much mass he had lost, how losing his golden core had carved him hollow. It wasn’t the best place to have such an epiphany, he chided himself. Chuckling darkly, he whispered into the wind, “When will this be all over?”
He shook his head and titled his head a little to the right when he caught the flash of red from the corner of his eyes. Sighing heavily, Wei Wuxian raised his flute back to his lips, the wisps of dark energy were more forceful in taking over his sanity now that he was much weaker. Clenching his teeth, Wei Wuxian only hoped that there were enough corpses to keep him alive until back up arrived. He can’t have any Wen cultivators live as long as his family is in danger.
The eerie sound of the ghost flute haunted the winds of the valley draped with death and adorned by violence. Wei Wuxian stood in the middle of it all, heart beating a little faster with every strained breath, each note made making a plea to protect his family shall he not survive. The first wave of Wens had landed from their swords, getting immediately torn into by the fierce corpses. Wei Wuxian felt his control slip. He was running out of time.
It was when a Wen cultivator, a young woman with shaking hands and determined, red eyes was closing on his that Wei Wuxian felt himself falter. She was just a young girl, on her late teenage. He figured, as her blade pressed against his throat and confusion grew on her face when he continued to play staring right back into vengeful eyes, he wouldn’t mind getting killed by a girl who was dragged into a war driven by revenge. Wei Wuxian felt his guilt creep up like a vice and close around his throat. Death was a dear a friend to him by now and he was haunted by it all. He just needed an end to all of this mess.
Wei Wuxian, reaching his limit, let the flute stop playing. Almost sighing in relief as the dark magic gave him a bit of a clearer mind, he looked at the girl, “you can kill me.” The girl’s eyes widened and then fell onto the ground. She took a few steps back, shaking her head and raised her head to look at him with a bitter smile, “you don’t deserve to escape this world that easily. You should stay here and suffer like I have.” And then she was turning around to run off into another direction. Wei Wuxian felt his body freeze and go numb. Opening his mouth, a strange strangled sound left his lips. Raising his head back up to the sky which had cleared the clouds enough to let the moon shine through, the silvery touches seemed to scorch him and soothe his wounds all at the same time. “That’s what I don’t want.” He whispered to the sky. Closing his eyes, he smiled wryly. “Guess that’s how the second pride of Yungmeng Jiang’s journey ends, huh?” he said to no one.
The war was going on, the Stygian Tiger Seal controlling the remaining corpses without his orders, keeping the cultivators who were competing to get a go at killing Wei Wuxian at a bay. Opening his eyes again, he asked his flute, “Should I let go now? Allow them to kill me?” it didn’t reply. Wei Wuxian let out a loud laugh, sounding maniacal to his own ears. “I’ve gone mad! Thinking of giving up in a war I started!” he shouted into the sky, his lungs straining to take even breaths. His body sank to the ground, and he panted into the blood-soaked soil, stroking it in sadness, “how can you ever grow life when you’ve seen death only?” he questioned the ground then realised what he was doing and laughed even more. The voices escaping him were hoarse and he was having a hard time recognising the man he was becoming.
It looked like the Wen cultivators were gaining the upper hand, his weakening will be losing it’s hold on the seal and the puppets were being passed by just as easily. Wei Wuxian greeted the blood thirsty Wens with a grin, his mind echoing with only one word. Finally.
However, whatever God was up there was not having it. Just as the first sword reached his heart, a bright beam of blue spiritual energy shattered the blade and pushed back the wave of Wens back from Wei Wuxian. The man was now scowling indignantly, who dared to take away the only chance he could die without facing the scorn of his family?
“Wei Ying!” a very strained voice came from behind him, Wei Wuxian felt his bones weight him even more and slumped onto the ground. “Lan Zhan, why don’t you allow me to die?” he said into his hands. He felt a warm hand press to his back and another hot stream of spiritual energy enter into his body only to diffuse when it found no golden core. “Wei Ying, don’t say that.” The voice said, a gust of warm wind passing through Wei Wuxian’s ears. Chuckling darkly, he turned red rimmed eyes over his shoulder and met with golden eyes that stared back, something dark hidden in their depth. “Lan Zhan. Am I safe?” he asked, feeling like he was losing a grip on his mental capacities. He really was going inane, wasn’t he?
If Lan Wangji’s brows furrowing much noticeably that ever was a hint, Wei Wuxian would think so yes, he was going insane. Straightening his back, he turned to the battlefield. The sea of red and white was disrupted by the flood of gold of the Jin’s, the black of the Nie’s, the purple of the Jiang’s and the pristine white of the Lan’s. He chuckled, “saved me.” He stage-whispered. Lan Wangji’s hand had stopped passing him spiritual energy, instead tightening it’s hold on his shoulder. “Good, Lan Zhan, don’t waste your energy on me. I’m not really worth it.” He said, unable to mask the darkness of his voice. Lan Wangji sighed, causing Wei Wuxian to turn back. The man was giving him a warm look, such a juxtapose to the reality of the situation it shocked Wei Wuxian into making a little more aware. “You’re worth much better, Wei Ying.” Those words made his throat close up and he dropped his eyes down to his lap. “I just need a break, Lan Zhan,” he said. A deep hum sounded from above him and Wei Wuxian closed his eyes, leaning back a little to rest against Lan Wangji’s broad front. The last words he heard before he slipped into the comforting blank of unconsciousness was: “Rest well, Wei Ying.” Said in a warm tone, that made him want to believe in the world one last time.
His head was aching, lungs burning, skin tight around his bones and nose stuffy. Wei Wuxian rose to the land of the living reluctantly, the sense of being in the middle of battle still slowly sinking in even more as he woke up bit by bit. Sitting upright, Wei Wuxian squinted his eyes in the darkness of wherever he was. Panic had begun to rise inside him when he realised what he was sitting on. Looking down he felt his eyes widen a little, his hand that rested on the soft outer robes which must have slipped from on top him some time when he sat up, had begun to stoke it. The texture of it was painfully familiar and he felt his throat close up and a weak smile fight its way onto his face.
The events prior to his collapse slowly filtered in through his senses and he sighed. Lifting the outer robe and wrapping it around his shoulders, he took a deep breath. He almost sobbed in relief after he smelled the sandalwood instead of the stench of the battlefield. He was becoming truly pathetic, wasn’t he?
Shaking his head, Wei Wuxian flited his eyes around, the place was dark but a weak flame from a small lamp from the corner caught his eyes. Reaching forward, Wei Wuxian grabbed a hold of it and used it assess his current situation. He noticed that he was in a tent now, where he was previously laid on a portable cot, the blanket drew over his legs and the outer robe draped over his body were dishevelled after he woke up. Running a hand through his hair, Wei Wuxian winced at the grimy feeling. Dismissing the thoughts, Wei Wuxian laid back on the bed.
It was nice, Wei Wuxian decided, to just lay there and let the others fight the battle for a while. He knew it wasn’t going to be permanent and he’d have to return to the hell of it all sooner than later, but for now he was blissfully unaware. He figured there might be people around him, the silhouettes casted by the small lamp next to his cot and the sounds filtering through the tent flaps giving him an impression that he was in some kind of relief camp. Sighing, Wei Wuxian closed his eyes willed himself to fall asleep. The buzz of demonic energy against his thigh was distracting, courting his thoughts with darkness.
He opened his eyes, staring at the ceiling with burning eyes, his hands clenched together to keep all the demons at bay. He almost gave up on sleep and decided to just slip out of the tent and disappear towards the next battle ground when the tent flap parted and a bright light pierced through. Wincing, Wei Wuxian covered his eyes with an arm. “Wei Ying? Are you awake?” the deep voice was familiar and soft, Wei Wuxian moved his arms from his face and looked over to see Lan Wangji stand right next to him. His pristine white robes were spotted with blood, his forehead ribbon crooked. Though Wei Wuxian found it hard to take his eyes away from the concern of the golden irises. Lan Wangji looked like an angel of war. Wei Wuxian felt like he didn’t deserve this man in his life.
But he was selfish. Wei Wuxian is selfish.
“Lan Zhan.” He whispered in a broken voice, trying his best to smile crookedly, hoping to elevate the worry on that gorgeous face. “Your headband is crooked.”, he said. Lan Wangji huffed, his frown loosening a little. Wei Wuxian felt his heart give a little skip and averted his eyes. “Wei Ying, are you well? Hurt?” Lan Wangji asked, sounding much nearer, Wei Wuxian felt his heart race when he heard the other settle next to him. “Don’t you have a tent of your own, Lan Zhan?” he asked, averting the spotlight from himself. Silence.
Curious now, Wei Wuxian turned to see Lan Wangji looking down at him with a blank face, his ears were adorably red. He felt that old spark to tease him rise inside him, turning to his side Wei Wuxian smiled, much more genuine than he thought possible. Lan Wangji spoke before he could though, “There is a shortage of tents. We are camping here temporality for treating the wounded and getting backup.” Wei Wuxian’s smile dimed but he nodded. He felt a small pressure against his arm and he turned to look.
Lan Wangji’s hand was pressing against his arm, looking like he was taking his pulse. Wei Wuxian yanked his arm back, fearful of Lan Wangji knowing about his lack of golden core. The action earned him a very concerned look, “did I hurt you?” Wei Wuxian laughed, sounding hoarse. “No, you didn’t, Lan Zhan.” Lan Wangji continued to look intensely at him for a while before deeming Wei Wuxian was truthful enough. He turned to the other side, presenting Wei Wuxian with his back. The man looked at the broad shoulders clad in pink and white and blue, the long trail of perfect black hair falling against his spine, it filled him with an intense earning but Wei Wuxian had to remind himself to not aim for the moon.
When Lan Wangji turned to face him, he was holding a flask and some food. “Sit up, Wei Ying. You should eat.” He sat up. The two of them ate in silence, Wei Wuxian stealing glances at the man every now and then. He was feeling a little more human after eating and drinking some water, Lan Wangji’s presence giving him strength to fight back the demonic energy that was wrapping around his mind insistently. “Lan Zhan,” Wei Wuxian called, seeing that the man was done with his food too. Lan Wangji raised his head up again, setting the utensils away, prying Wei Wuxian’s away from his hands too. “Wei Ying?” he asked, Wei Wuxian cleared his throat, roving his eyes up and down Lan Wangji’s form, “You’re not hurt, are you?” he asked. Lan Wangji just stared at him for a few moments, causing him to squirm a little at the intensity. Wei Wuxian averted his eyes, raising a hand to scratch at his arm. When Lan Wangji answered it almost caused him to jump, “Nothing serious.” Wei Wuxian frowned, reaching impulsively forward and grabbing the man’s arm. He saw Lan Wangji’s eyes twitch which was the farthest thing of a wince Lan Wangji would give. Letting go of the limp as if it had burned him, Wei Wuxian was quick to pull apart the sleeve of his robes.
Lan Wangji’s arm was wrapped in a bandage, some red seeping through and it made his stomach roil. “Lan Zhan,” he whispered, guilty even though he knew it wasn’t his fault. “It is not Wei Ying’s fault,” Lan Wangji informed him, voice nonchalant as he wrapped a bigger hand around Wei Wuxian’s and tugged it off from where his fingers were ghosting over the bandages. Wei Wuxian sighed, clutching at Lan Wangji’s hand. It was grounding him to the reality and he nodded, “I know.” Wei Wuxian looked up and met Lan Wangji’s eyes, the golden gaze was soft.
“We should sleep.” The Lan said. Wei Wuxian looked around and saw an extra cot next to his own, the small tent causing the two to be joined together giving him the impression it was just one big cot. He felt his cheeks heat up, but the urge to tease was back and Wei Wuxian turned to Lan Wangji with a shy smile, batting his lashes, he said, “Don’t take advantage of poor, weak me, alright Lan Zhan?” Lan Wangji’s eyes narrowed a little and his ears turned red. Wei Wuxian felt laughter bubble up and he let Lan Wangji’s hand go in favour of clutching at his stomach as he let out the laughter.
The small space of their tent felt much lighter, the sound of laughter strange to his own ears after all this time. Who’d have thought that the expressionless Lan of Gusu Lan would be the one to make Wei Wuxian laugh his first genuine mirth? But as he climbed down from the high and looked at Lan Wangji he saw the soft look, almost like relief, and knew that he was glad. Glad that it was Lan Wangji.
Wei Wuxian felt his cheeks heat up and he patted to cot next to his and averted his eyes. “Rest, Lan Zhan. We have to go tomorrow, right?” He heard Lan Wangji hum and then movement. Wei Wuxian looked around to see the man shed his outer robes and boots until he was left in his under garments, just like Wei Wuxian and then proceed to climb into the cot next to him. Wei Wuxian remembered the outer robe that still smelled faintly of the sandalwood and he clutched at it, reluctant to let go but he had to ask, “Don’t you want your robe back?” Lan Wangji, who had laid down on the bed on his back and drawn the blankets over his body, turned to look at Wei Wuxian. In the faint lighting Lan Wangji’s eyes glowed beautifully and Wei Wuxian couldn’t help but be distracted by the beauty of this man he could call his friend. “No, you can keep it, Wei Ying. You are cold.” Wei Wuxian felt his heart stutter and nodded. Hurrying to lie back on the cot, he fell on to his side, curling up a little to save as much warmth as possible.
Now that they had fallen quite there was nothing to distract him from the cold which even the blanket couldn’t keep away. Sighing, Wei Wuxian curled up a little more. He heard Lan Wangji shuffle behind him and felt his heart race. Had he figured out something was wrong with Wei Wuxian’s core?
However, Wei Wuxian felt his worries fall into rest when the silence commenced after a while. He tried his best to ignore the cold and let the tiredness wash over him. The cold was becoming a little unbearable, Wei Wuxian decided it to give up on sleep. He stiffened when he heard another movement followed by a tired yet concerned voice asking, “Wei Ying? Are you cold?” Wei Wuxian felt his heart thud and he turned to the other side. Lan Wangji was lying there, a tiny frown marring his face as they laid together, face to face. Wei Wuxian gulped, feeling a little breathless, “A little,” he said. Lan Wangji’s frown melted and he sighed a little before scooting closer. Frowning, Wei Wuxian asked, voice coloured in confusion, “What-what are you doing, Lan Zhan?” great now he beginning to shiver. Lan Wangji just gave him a blank look, “Wei Ying.” He said simply.
Wei Wuxian sighed and shook his head, “I don’t want your pity, Lan Wangji.” He couldn’t help but sound bitter. Silence again. He glared into the space between them, his nerves waring between guilt and anger. Lan Wangji broke the tenseness, “I’m not pitying you, Wei Ying. Come closer, I’ll keep you warm.” Wei Wuxian whipped his eyes up and saw the sincerity in Lan Wangji’s eyes. He dropped his gaze down to Lan Wangji’s collarbones, feeling unworthy of such kindness. But he nodded anyway.
Lan Wangji didn’t waste much time in putting his arm around Wei Wuxian’s torso and pull him closer. Wei Wuxian felt how tense he was, and smiled lightly. Glad to know it wasn’t just him feeling slightly awkward. He took a dep breath, making up his mind to not back down after reaching this far, he stretched his arms forward and wrapped them around Lan Wangji’s torso. The man didn’t stir, but he did notice that Lan Wangji had relaxed a little. Wei Wuxian took another deep breath and leaned a little closer, trying to give as much warmth as he was stealing from Lan Wangji. Wei Wuxian found it quite ironic that a man who was called a jade, an ice prince and other terms to describe Lan Wangji’s usual coldness to strangers, he was man very warm. Wei Wuxian sighed again, feeling content. The demonic energy was a mute background, the war feeling far away, Wei Wuxian’s current state a little more like an illusion. In Lan Wangji’s arms right now, he was feeling like a semblance of his old self, before the Wens turned their lives upside down, before he gave his golden core to his brother, before he became a stranger to himself.
Wei Wuxian raised his head from where it was buried against Lan Wangji’s shoulder to look up at the man’s face. He smiled softly, his heart thrumming a little faster, when he noticed the even breathing and closed eyes, the relaxed part of his lips and knew that Lan Wangji was asleep. Wei Wuxian leaned forward to leave a kiss against the forehead ribbon the sleeping man still had on, whispering against it in a soft voice, “Thank you, Lan Zhan.”
He then burrowed under Lan Wangji’s chin, his ears against Lan Wangji’s heart as it beat a soft, even rhythm of a lullaby. He kissed his heart over the robes, the shroud of sleep giving him more courage to act out his affection without the fear of consequences.
Finally, with enough warmth surrounding him to actually start lulling him to a sleep so unfamiliarly peaceful, he felt his heart relax with his body. Finally accepting his fate, Wei Wuxian closed his eyes and prayed to whatever Gods were listening that he would have another chance to lay here with Lan Wangji, his soulmate, under different circumstances. But above all, he prayed that his Lan Zhan would stay alive along with his family even if he wouldn’t be there. He hoped that when the war finally ends, his family will begin to heal. That he could see this man one last time. His heart reaching towards the heaven in a prayer that this warmth will be felt again. In this life or the next.