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Sam was thankful for a lot of things in his life. He had an amazing family who supported him unconditionally and a job he loved that didn't rely on his appearance and bring out his old insecurities. He also had the best set of friends a guy could ask for. However, if you asked Sam what he was most grateful for, it'd have to be Blaine.
Blaine, his best friend and husband, well, soon-to-be husband all wrapped up in one. At risk of sounding sappy, he's the reason Sam wakes up in the morning and the day feels bearable. Sam can handle anything if he knows he's got Blaine on his side. Some days he can't believe his luck. It's not that Blaine is perfect because he's really isn't. He's a workaholic who loses faith in himself at the slightest thing, he worries too much and tries so hard to please everyone around him he runs himself down but Sam adores him.
It also isn’t because they have a perfect relationship, despite what everyone seems to think. They have stupid fights over forgetting to buy milk during busy weeks or over old insecurities that occasionally pop up, but they sort it out. They always do. They might not be perfect, but they were perfect for each other. They both have flaws, but it truly is the little things that make them hold on a little bit tighter to each other like how Blaine refuses to fall asleep without telling Sam he loves him. It doesn’t matter if it’s face to face or through a text he never wants there to be a second of doubt about how he feels for Sam. It’s also how even though he’s tiny (he not really, but Sam will never stop calling him that.) he’s protective over the people he loves and honestly Sam fears for whoever tries to hurt their future kids because Blaine can be one intimidating little dude.
Blaine has also never been afraid to love hard and be honest about how he feels which is so nice because neither has Sam. They both spent years giving everything they had to show how much they cared about people, only to be pushed away for being so intense. They never have to worry about that with each other. Blaine is the only person Sam’s ever met who loves as passionately and proudly as he does and it’s nice to be on the receiving end of that for once. They are insanely and stupidly in love and Sam has never been happier.
For every rough patch and learning curve, they experience they have 10 warm, happy memories to remind them why it's all worth it. Some exciting and life-changing and some just full of the small, simple things, moments just like this one.
Blaine cuddled up on Sam's lap while they lay on the couch. His head resting on his shoulder, wild curls tickling Sam's jaw and ear. Sam's fingers play with the hand that holds Blaine's engagement ring. The ring is simple and classic, nothing too flashy with a personal engraving on the inside. The ring wasn't there to show off to everyone else. It was something just for them, something for Blaine to hold onto when they were apart, which due to their careers, unfortunately, happened often.
He brings the hand up to his face and kisses the ring. He sees the soft smile and twinkle appear in Blaine's eye and feels the warmth spread in his chest, as he often does when thinking about him.
Blaine snuggles in closes while Sam tightens the hold he has around Blaine's waist. He presses a kiss on the top of his head.
Their TV against the wall playing an old rerun of 'Home Improvement'. That brings a wave of nostalgia and memories of being a kid staying with his grandparents during the summers. It makes Sam smile. He knows Blaine doesn't care for the show, but every so often, he puts it on, pressing a kiss to Sam's neck and giving him a soft smile. He loves that smile.
He looks over to the framed photograph of himself and Blaine during their senior year. Tina had taken it when they hadn't been looking, too wrapped up in each other to notice anything else happening around them. Sam always feels strange looking at pictures from before he realised his feelings for Blaine.
The urge to scream at his past self to stop being so oblivious was always so intense. It was obvious in hindsight, but it took him a few years for his brain to catch up. The way they looked at each other, how they would drop anything for the other, the way his heart sped up when Blaine admitted he had feelings for him. He should've known, but he just passed it off as them being best friends and any attention was flattering. Maybe if he had just seen what was right in front of his eyes, then he could've protected Blaine from dragging things out with Kurt and hurting them both for so long.
He often beats himself up for wasting so much time, but then he realises that he devalues the importance of their friendship and the experiences they had with others. They work so well together in a relationship because they have years of friendship and have learned everything about each other, but also because they now know what they don’t want in a relationship. Sam wouldn't give that up for anything. But sometimes, he still can't help thinking about how he almost never got the chance to be with Blaine because Blaine was so caught up believing he and Kurt were soulmates. That they had to end up together, even if that wasn't really what he had wanted anymore.
Sam remembers flashes of the day Blaine told him he was going to propose to Kurt. He remembers helping him out even when every part of him was screaming to stop it from happening. He's not sure how much of that was due to his unacknowledged feelings and how much was just how he knew they weren't good together and both deserved more than that, but he decides not to think too hard about it.
Kurt said yes. Blaine was floating and Sam felt like he was dying.
He didn’t have to worry long thought after an unsurprisingly short amount of time, they split, and Sam had a broken Blaine on his hands again. Sam knew he couldn't let Blaine get hurt by Kurt ever again, so he decided if they ever tried to rekindle that dull flame again, he was going to do everything he could to stop it. So, when he found out Blaine and Kurt had some stupid idea about getting married at Santana and Britt's wedding, he knew what he had to do.
Most of the day was a blur but he remembers standing at the alter talking to Mike about how pissed Santana would be if he did one of his impressions during his speech when he felt his phone vibrate. He wasn't going to check it, but something was just screaming at him to look and he'll forever be glad he did.
It was a message from Blaine. Simple and straight to the point, all it said was.
Britt asked Kurt and I to get married today at the same time as them and we said yes!! Can't believe it!! See you omw down the aisle, we can talk later!
Sam's blood ran cold at the message. Blaine was so clearly excited but not thinking straight. It had only been a few days before that they had talked about how they should never get back together. Yet, Blaine was running into Kurt's arms like a lost puppy at the slightest sign of interest. He just knew he had to fix things. There's no way in hell there was a double wedding happening, at least not involving Blaine.
He just knew he had to go. The weird nausea and plummeting stomach were normal, right? He was just worried about his best friend making a big mistake, right?
He shook it off, knowing he was running out of time. He had to figure out a way to escape without everyone asking questions. He managed to pull Mike aside and convince him to create a distraction while he sorted out this mess. Mike was always reliable, quickly agreeing and giving him a weird look that he only figured out a couple of years later. Another one of those things he feels dumb about these days. Everyone figured it out before he did.
The parts after that are a bit fuzzy. He just remembers running and unanswered phone calls, but eventually, he found them.
Britt and Santana looked radiant. He had never seen the two of them so happy and glowing. Santana must've been feeling particularly good that day because she didn't even complain when she laid eyes on him, just gave him a knowing look and half-smile. Kurt, on the other hand, wasn't exactly excited to see him. Things had been tense between them for a while by this point after he became so close to Blaine. He said he felt like he was constantly competing for Blaine's attention when Sam was around. Still, he was the one who was getting married to him, so only one of them was really winning. And Blaine, well, Blaine looked defeated, like he knew Sam was going to talk him out of it.
After some convincing, he got to pull Blaine aside and ask him what the hell was going on. He remembers raised voices, Blaine crying and somehow Sam ended up wrapped around Blaine in a hug, begging him not to do it and clinging on like if he let go, he'd disappear.
He remembers the feeling of being sucker-punched in the gut when Blaine asked him to leave if he couldn't support him. He knew Blaine was upset, but how could he ever think that Sam wasn't thinking about the best thing for him. Said that if he really cared about him, he had to let Blaine try and find happiness and that Sam was just jealous he didn't have anyone. Told him he wasn't going to spend his life having a one-sided crush so Sam could feel better about himself. Hearing him say that hurt more than anything. He was meant to be the person who knew him inside out. How could he be so wrong about him?
He went back to the church thinking he had fucked it all up and lost his best friend forever.
He found it hard to focus until the ceremony started, then he waited. He held his breath when he saw Blaine and Kurt walk Santana and Brittany down the aisle. He tried to make eye contact with Blaine, but he was ignored. He did see the painted-on smile Blaine was presenting to the world. He was hiding behind the mask again and Sam tried to do the same.
Then it happened.
Instead of coming together, Kurt and Blaine went to separate sides of the church, not acknowledging each other once. The ceremony went off without a hitch and Sam manages to get out of his own head to enjoy it. He sees Mike watching him, but he can't do anything but stare right at Blaine. When Blaine finally looks up at him and gives him a small smile, Sam can breathe again. They'll work things out; Blaine was alright. They would be alright.
Kurt avoided him the whole night, only giving him sharp looks across the room, his head held high as always. Santana held his hand and squeezed when no one was looking before demanding he dances with her, but if he stepped on her feet she’d kill him. Britt whined a bit about him stopping Blaine from getting married. Still, he managed to distract her enough by helping her convince some of the guests that they were twins separated at birth. It was all going to be fine.
He and Blaine found themselves drawn to each other as always through the night. They didn't talk about it, it wasn't the right time, but they held on a little tighter when they hugged each other goodbye with a promise they would talk the following afternoon.
That didn't quite happen. It was 3 am when Sam was lying awake overthinking when he received a message from Blaine simply saying I'm sorry.
That led to a phone call which led to him picking Blaine up and driving around for a few hours just enjoying being together. It felt like such a long time since they got to do that since trying to live up to Kurt's ridiculous standards took up most of Blaine's time.
They ended up parked who knows where watching the sunrise and drinking cheap coffee. He remembers that even in the early morning breeze, he felt warm watching Blaine smile. Sitting there with his favourite person. Blaine's eyes tired and soft eyes with his curls wild, Sam realised that he didn't know much about anything, but what he and Blaine had was the most important thing he had in life. Blaine was someone special and for some reason he thought Sam was too.
Blaine's hand was just there. Resting on his lap, occasionally twitching when he laughed too hard for the quiet morning. He doesn't know why. He just remembers he couldn't stop thinking about holding his hand. It wasn't the first time, but it was the most intense. The urge grew and grew until his brain was screaming and his hand decided to move on its own. His hand fit perfectly over Blaine's. The second their skin made contact, he felt calm. All overthinking and worries silenced. That's what always happened when he got to touch Blaine.
Neither of them say anything, but it's there. The smiles. The fondness in their eyes. The love. Sam was so blind; how could he not see it.
From that moment on, the touches became more common. When they were alone, it wasn't unheard of for them to be touching in some way, whether it was a hug, hand pressed to the small of the other back or handholding whenever they needed it.
One day Blaine had just walked through the front door of his apartment when Sam realised Blaine took his breath away, so he told him as much. He just laughed and blushed so pretty. It wasn't until Blaine was going home later that he hugged Sam and whispered, "You've taken my breath away for years."
They didn't talk about it was the thing. He wanted to, but what could he even say. 'I don't know why but every time I think of you moving on without me, I wanna curl up in a ball and die' oh, or how about 'I wake up every day wishing I was next to you but also I don't know where any of this came from but maybe it's been there all along and I'm panicking because I'll screw this up. I always screw things up, and I can't mess things up with you because you mean the world to me, and that is both the scariest and most exciting thing I could ever imagine.' Sam's never been good with words, and there's never been a time where his words have been so important. So he says nothing.
For 3 more years, they dance around it. Apart from some light teasing from their friends and family (much more aggressive and pointed from Santana, but still very loving, in her own way), everyone leaves them alone. Giving them the time and space to figure it out. They allowed them to move back in again without a lot of heat. Everyone just assumed they were dating but wanted to keep it private. Boy, were they all wrong. They all pretend not to see the longing looks and no so subtle possessive touches when someone comes onto one of them. Tina even tells a guy who asked for Sam's number that she'd have to talk to his curly-haired boyfriend. They just laughed it off and pretended not to notice how they both blushed and sighed in relief. It felt nice to pretend it was true though, just for a second.
It was just Sam had to take time to process it all. Not because Blaine was a guy (because who cares, it's all about the person, not the package), but because he was Blaine. The most important person in his life, his best friend, one of the first people who ever really understood him. Blaine was too important to lose, and if there was even a chance he could lose him, he didn't know if he could handle it, but he knew they couldn't do that forever. He knew Blaine was just waiting for him to make a move. Eventually, Blaine would want more or find someone else, and he would lose him anyway.
He wanted to do it right, you know? Had a big elaborate plan to tell Blaine how he really felt and ask him out, no more games or hiding. Blaine was always doing things for everyone else. He couldn't wait to see the look on his face when he finally got something done, especially for him.
Just like always, though, things didn't turn out the way he planned. He only had to wait 2 more days. Just 2. But then Blaine was on the couch next to him looking so…handsome? Gorgeous? Pretty? Mesmerising? None of the words he could ever come up with could ever do him justice. His smile was genuine, eyes like warm honey and Sam couldn't control himself anymore. Who could? Blaine had a quality that just drew you in and he was tired of hiding.
"I love you." he blurted out. "I am so unbelievably gone for you it makes my head spin and my heart hurt, and I don't want anyone else because no one could ever compare to you and the way you make me feel." As Sam said, he isn't the best with words, so he couldn't seem to find his off button once he got started. He rambled for what feels like forever, beginning to think it was all a mistake when he looked up at Blaine and just like that, the smile he gave Sam was enough for him to know he's done the right thing for once.
When Blaine reached out and kissed him, Sam remembers thinking, 'no matter what happens, this will never be a mistake.'
And when he touches Blaine later that night, he can't stop wishing he'd been brave enough 3 years prior, but with the noises Blaine makes, Sam knew they'd have no problem making up for all the lost time.
But still, as insanely happy and in love, as they are, he still has moments where he doubts he can be enough for Blaine. Moments like now where he thinks about how he almost lost him to Kurt, then to his own stupidity for taking as long to get himself together.
He's knocked out of his thoughts when his ears pick up on some alarming words.
"So I'm thinking of gelling my hair down like I did senior year for the wedding. I might even put some cement in it like Sue did just to really hold it down."
"WHAT? No way. I love your hair the way it is." He says indignantly, emphasising his point by running his fingers through Blaine's hair. A look of horror crosses his face until he notices Blaine smirking. "Oh, haha, very funny." Sam pouts but doesn't stop his movements.
"Oh, so he does listen when he wants to. Where'd you go, babe? you haven't heard a word I've said in like 10 minutes." He drums his fingers on Sam's warm chest, looking up. This isn't the first time Sam's zoned out. In fact, the closer it's gotten to their wedding, the more frequent it's becoming. Blaine's trying not to overreact because Sam has grown a lot over the past few years. Still, there's always a lingering worry he'll revert back to his old coping mechanisms when he gets inside his own head.
Sam sent him a sheepish look. "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. It's just I was thinking about Santana and Britt's wedding and how I almost lost you before I even got the chance to have you. If you had married Kurt and I just sat back and watched and then I thought about how long it took me to get my head out my ass and what if you'd found someone else before I got there and-"
"If I had married Kurt, then it would've ended in a messy divorce. I loved Kurt, and he loved me, but we didn't work. We hadn't worked for a long time before then. We were clinging onto feelings and versions of ourselves that didn't exist anymore." Blaine sits up, using both hands to hold Sam's face making sure he understands. "Even if I had married Kurt someway somehow, I know in the end you and I would still end up together because we work, Sam. Because I have never ever loved someone the way, I love you. Maybe it'd have taken us a little longer, but I know we would still have ended up right here. You always had me, Sam. All you ever had to do was ask. I'd wait for you forever because you're it for me. You may have doubts about that, but I never will."
Sam knows he has that sappy, puppy dog in love smile he has reserved especially for Blaine on his face, the one that always has Santana pretending to vomit while everyone knows she's hiding her smile. It may have taken a while for Brittany to get over missing out on her double gay wedding. Still, as it turns out, Santana had been rooting for Sam to get his shit together and ask Blaine out for a while.
Sam feels all the tension leaving his body; Blaine always manages to say exactly the right thing. "I'm the luckiest guy in the world, you know." "Oh, I know I'm the best." Blaine giggles out.
"Hey, I'm serious. You are the best thing that's ever happened to me. Just waking up next to you makes every day better. I know you don't really believe in God or miracles, but I can't think of any other explanation for how I got you in my life, Blaine. I love you so much sometimes it actually hurts.
Dude, we are gonna be married! Like you are officially going to be my husband, and everyone can stop telling me you are only my fiancé cause that's a stupid word. Like I know for the past 3 years, we've been trying to take it slowly day by day, but I can't wait to spend forever with you, and I'm just tired of being scared."
Blaine doesn't know whether to focus on the urge to laugh at the fact they've been dating for years, and Sam still calls him "Dude" or the lump in his throat at how loving and honest Sam is. For now, he focuses on the latter. He doubts that habit is breaking any time soon and they have the rest of their lives for him to poke fun at Sam for it. He knows Sam would probably just say something about how just because they are dating doesn't mean he's not still his best friend, and he always calls his best friend dude. Blaine is so gone for him it's unreal.
"You never have to be scared. I'm right here. I'm always gonna be here, Sam. I've loved you for a long time, and I can't wait to love you even longer. Now c'mon, if you keep being sweet, I'm going to cry, and then you'll cry and we'll miss the tool time segment. It's your favourite part of the show."
Sam snorts.
"I do love Tool Time." "and I love you."
"Well, I love you more" "that's impossible."
"and this is cheesy." "We're always cheesy. It's our thing."
"I thought our thing was grossing out Santana." "Just shut up and cuddle me, Sam."
"Okay, baby." Sam says as they snuggle back in.
He could have many regrets about the journey it took to get here. Still, he'll never regret the destination because laying here with Blaine in his arms, he knows he's right where he needs to be.