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As soon as Beidou stepped on Liyue Harbor’s dry land, she dismissed her crew then practically ran to Yujing Terrace, where Ningguang’s supposedly expecting her.
However, she is met by Ganyu holding a bunch of paperwork in her arms instead, giving her a sheepish smile— expression friendly but tired as usual. The secretary should learn how to take a break, Beidou thinks.
”Hey,” Beidou greets her, patting Ganyu’s head, a gesture she got used to. “I’m glad to see you’re still holding up.”
“Good afternoon, Captain Beidou,” Ganyu nods as she tries to hide a yawn. “I suppose you’re looking for Lady Ningguang?”
Beidou grins at the assumption. “You know me so well.”
“She’s in her private quarters at the moment. I assume— I hope she’s resting,” Ganyu says. “She didn’t look too well at the meeting earlier.”
Panic and concern make its way to Beidou’s nerves, her brows furrowing at the statement. “I’ll check up on her.”
“I hoped you would,” Ganyu purses her lips. “She’s a stubborn woman, and no one has successfully checked up on her without getting hit on the face.”
“Well, let’s pray to the Archons I’m an exception to that treatment, yeah?” Beidou chuckles, not really worried about it since she trusts her reflexes. “Take care of yourself, Ganyu,” she says, patting Ganyu’s arm appreciatively.
The secretary gives her a grateful nod before Beidou walks away to visit Ningguang.
“Ning?” Beidou calls out just outside the Tianquan’s door, rapping her knuckles against the wooden surface twice. “Ninguang?”
No response.
Beidou twists the door knob, hoping it’s unlocked, but of course it’s not.
“Dang it,” she groans before walking around the building to find an open window leading to Ningguang’s room. It’s higher than she had thought.
Sighing, Beidou jumps, reaching the ledge of Ningguang’s window before carrying her entire weight and successfully landing inside the room on her feet, still alive and not getting smacked in the face. She embarrassingly makes a little happy dance at her success before reminding herself of what she’s here for.
“Right— Ningguang,” Beidou scans the room, immediately finding a mop of silver hair and a familiar form underneath golden silk blankets. She suddenly has the strong urge to lay next to Ningguang and wrap her in her arms.
Beidou opposes the idea in the end, not wanting to wake Ningguang up. Instead, she sits at the edge of the bed, fiddling with her gloves, staring at Ningguang’s covered face but still beautiful— Beidou knows even without seeing it.
Truthfully, Beidou could stay like this forever. To be at Ningguang’s side even if—
“Beidou.”
The pirate jumps, not expecting Ningguang to suddenly break the silence.
“You were awake?” Beidou asks, watching Ningguang emerge from her blankets, her face finally exposed.
“Not for long,” Ningguang murmurs, yawning the sleep away. “I can always sense when someone’s watching me, even in my slumber.”
“Well, I’m sorry for disturbing your sleep, princess,” Beidou says apologetically, reaching her hand out to caress Ningguang’s cheek. “You can go back to sleep— I’ll just look away this time but I’ll stay.”
“No need,” Ningguang shakes her head. “I think… I think I’ve rested for too long.”
“Whatever you say,” Beidou twists her body so she can fully face Ningguang. “Do you need anything? Water?”
“That’d be nice,” a smile cracks on Ningguang’s lips.
Beidou returns the smile, kissing her cheek before standing to get a glass of water from Ningguang’s mini kitchen.
“Thank you,” Ningguang says, taking the glass from Beidou’s hand.
“So, I heard you’ve been looking tired and smacking people in the face this morning.” Beidou raises an eyebrow.
“That’s an exaggeration,” Ningguang frowns. “I simply gave them a scolding.”
“You yelled at them for checking up on you?” Beidou laughs in disbelief.
“Please, it’s not like you would do anything different.” Ningguang rolls her eyes.
“So, if I were to ask how’re you right now, would you smack me?”
“Of course not,” Ningguang huffs as if it’s the most obvious answer there is. “But I will if you keep on breaking into people’s rooms.”
“Noted,” Beidou grins before climbing in next to Ningguang on the mattress. “I missed you, y’know?”
A tired sigh escapes Ningguang’s lips as she leans into Beidou’s embrace. “I know.”
“No ‘I miss you, too?’ from you?”
Ningguang shushes her, closing her eyes and tucking herself comfortably under Beidou’s embrace.
Beidou loves it— the feeling of being pressed against Ningguang and having her small, pale arms around her waist. Strangely, her body feels… warmer than usual, and Ningguang is a cold person, literally.
“You’re hot,” Beidou comments, pressing her hand against Ningguang’s forehead.
“Now’s not the time to flirt, Beidou,” Ningguang groans. “I’m a bit… exhausted.”
“No— I mean, you’re burning up,” Beidou sits up, sensing her heart skip a beat when Ningguang starts to shiver, beads of sweat down her face. “You’re… You’re not fine at all. Hold on, I’ll get a doctor or something.”
The grip on her wrist stops Beidou from leaving. “Don’t… do anything stupid.”
“I won’t, I promise—“ Beidou holds Ningguang’s hand for a moment, kissing her forehead before letting go. “Stay still, okay?”
From there, Beidou leaves the room and immediately consults Ganyu, who’s at the brink of falling asleep on her desk. “Ningguang, she… I need a doctor right now. Check her condition and I’ll— I’ll find Baizhu.”
“What?” Ganyu blinks, half-awake. “Lady Ningguang?”
“Now. Help her now.”
Realization dawns on the dazed secretary and she immediately rushes to Keqing, who reacts in an instant.
Beidou doesn’t waste any time in running to Bubu Pharmacy, thankful that Baizhu’s around, sitting and talking to an undead child, Qiqi. The herbalist notices her presence and waves at her. “Captain! Welcome!”
“I need your help, right now.”
“Of course,” Baizhu stands up, meeting Beidou in the middle of the room. “What is it?”
“I’ll explain on the way,” Beidou says. “I need your expertise... for someone.”
Baizhu nods, grabbing a bunch of medicine on his office shelf and follows Beidou without any hesitation.
—
“She’s been poisoned,” Baizhu announces.
Poisoned?
“Fuck,” Beidou groans, fists clenched at the sight of Ningguang currently unconscious on her bed. “Damn it.”
“Is there anything we can do?” Keqing asks, worry plastered all over her face.
“I still need to figure out what poison it is,” Baizhu frowns, rubbing her chin. “It might be from some kind of gas, or food— hopefully from the environment or some sort. Then, I know what we can do to cure her as soon as possible but…”
“But?” Beidou repeats. “What do you mean by ‘but?’”
“If somehow this was intentional, the poison might be personally crafted and that means—”
“—the only cure is personally crafted as well.”
All of them turn their heads to the source of the voice— Ningguang who had just woken up, now paler than she ever was.
“Ning,” Beidou sits next to her lover, intertwining her hands. “You know that I would even dive into the deepest parts of the ocean for you, right?”
Ningguang’s expression softens, and somehow, she’s still beautiful even when poison is running in her veins—
Keqing suddenly clears her throat. “Lady Ningguang, do you remember anyone who could be a suspect? Anyone you’ve had trouble with? Or any unfamiliar substance you might’ve encountered that might’ve poisoned you?”
“You’re going to need a long list,” Ningguang weakly huffs.
“Well, I have a record of all of Lady Ningguang’s meetings with people, merchants and businessmen.” Ganyu says. “However, none of them have any possible motives to cause this except…”
“Except who?” Beidou interrupts her.
“The Fatui,” Ganyu answers. “They’re—“
“Of course,” Beidou scoffs. “Fuck those guys. Of course they’d be involved—“
“Calm down,” Ningguang whispers, lightly rubbing Beidou on the arm. “I do recall them offering a bottle of wine. I accepted it as a gesture of politeness, but I’ve never even opened it.”
“The poison could be on the bottle! You— You could’ve touched it and…” Beidou explains, gripping Ningguang’s hand. “Or they could’ve wiped some weird-ass substance anywhere in your office and—“
“Captain Beidou,” Baizhu calls. “You’re not thinking straight.”
Well, fuck you! I’m not straight! Beidou wants to retort.
“While all your assumptions are undeniably possible, it’s strange that Ningguang is the only one who got poisoned out of all the people who had been in the office too.” Keqing adds. “Plus, I touched the bottle and I’m perfectly fine.”
“Beidou,” Ningguang whispers, and Beidou turns to her in an instant. “I’ll be fine. We’ll all find a way.”
Beidou sighs, taking Ningguang’s hand and bringing it up to her lips. “Just scared.”
“For the meantime,” Baizhu says. “I’ll be giving you medicine to control your fever and delay the other effects. It’s the best we can do for now.”
Ningguang nods, uncomfortably clutching her stomach as she takes a sip from her glass of water. “Thank you, everyone.”
The people in the room nod, staying silent as the Tianquan buries herself under the covers again.
Suddenly, Baizhu whispers next to Beidou‘s ear. “I need to talk to you outside.”
Beidou gives him a confused stare but agrees. Before they go outside, she turns to Keqing and Ganyu. “Tell me if anything happens.”
Once she steps outside the room, Baizhu brings them to a quiet place where no one could possibly hear them.
“Captain,” Baizhu starts. “Ningguang’s symptoms are more severe than I thought— this might be more than some natural poisoning.”
“Why didn’t you say that earlier?”
“If the Qixing finds out, they’re going to take advantage of the situation,” Baizhu says. “It might not seem like it, but there are enemies from the inside.”
“Ganyu and Keqing?”
“No,” the man shakes his head. “I think they genuinely care about her.”
“That’s a relief,” Beidou sighs. “There must be something I can do to help.”
“Ah, that reminds me,” Baizhu continues. “I also didn’t say anything about this earlier because there’s something you need to do that they might not want to hear about.”
Beidou raises an eyebrow. “Go on.”
“You have to pay The Fatui a visit, have a chat with them, if you must,” Baizhu frowns. “The Qixing will not allow anything to break any sort of understanding between them, which is why they’d likely choose a contract over Ningguang’s life.”
It’s not surprising, really. Beidou had always known the council was shady and dubious, to be blunt about it. She tolerated it for the sake of her lover, but hearing how possible it is for the Qixing to disregard their Tianquan for some stupid contract— it makes Beidou want to burn them all.
Baizhu says. “You’re the only one who can do this, Beidou. Keqing and Ganyu would be at risk if they’re involved.”
“Then, I shouldn’t be wasting any more time,” Beidou says, tightening the clasps of her gloves. “I’ll be on my way—“
The doors suddenly burst open, revealing a panicked Keqing. “You need to see this.”
Beidou and Baizhu exchange glances before running back into the room to find Ningguang coughing aggressively, blood staining her sheets.
Without hesitation, Beidou rushes to Ningguang’s side, trying whatever she could do to ease the woman down. Her heart clenches and drops to her stomach when she sees trails of blood down Ningguang’s mouth.
Why would anyone do this? To you?
Unable to hold it back, Beidou buries her face into the crook of Ningguang’s neck and holds her, fists clenched and unwilling to rest. Her chest feels tighter when Ningguang wraps her arm around Beidou, giving her a reassuring squeeze.
“I’ll be fine, Beidou,” Ningguang tells her, voice hoarse. “Just give me some time.”
“Time has never been kind to us,” Beidou says, pulling away to see Ningguang eye-to-eye. She takes the nearest cloth and wipes Ningguang’s blood-stained chin. “But I’d do anything for you. Anything.”
“I know you would,” Ningguang whispers, small fits of coughing in between sentences. “I love you.”
“Please don’t make it sound like you’re dying,” Beidou half-jokes.
“Beidou,” Baizhu calls again. Beidou forgets about the fact that they’re not alone. “You have to go now.”
Painfully, Beidou nods, pulling away from Ningguang who gives them a confused look. “She doesn’t have to go anywhere…”
“Ning, I told you already,” Beidou whispers. “I’d do anything for you.”
“Beidou,” Ningguang warns her. “Don’t do anything foolish.”
“I won’t, don’t worry,” Beidou lies. When it’s for Ningguang, everything she does is reckless and questionable, but she has never once regretted it. “I’ll be back, okay?”
Ningguang frowns before coughing again. “Just stay here with me. They’ll find a way—”
“I’m not going anywhere, Ning,” Beidou says. “At least not for too long… I’ll come back.”
Beidou plants a kiss on the back of Ningguang’s hand, saying three quiet words before turning away. She doesn’t look back. If she does, she might not be able to leave.
She is met by Keqing by the door, who looks at her suspiciously.
“I’m just going to get some herbs Baizhu told me to find,” Beidou lies.
“The Captain Beidou I know wouldn’t think of explaining if she wasn’t lying,” Keqing raises an eyebrow.
Beidou tiredly sighs. “If you’re here to stop me—”
“I’m not here to do that,” The Yuheng shakes her head. “I care about Ningguang too, even though it doesn’t seem like it.” She sighs. “I can’t be involved in this but… do what you must, Captain.”
Beidou gives her a tired but appreciative smile before heading off to have a friendly chat with some bad guys.
—
“Aight, which one of you is responsible for poisoning the Tianquan?”
The fallen Fatui Agents groan in pain on the ground, electro sparks flying around the area.
“Don’t make me wait,” Beidou growls, picking one soldier up by their shirt. “Who did it?”
“What the hell are you talking about?” the Fatui Pyro Agent scowls. “We don’t stir up trouble with the Qixing!”
“And I don’t beat up bad guys for fun.” Beidou’s grip tightens, pulling the agent closer. “If you can’t tell me who it is, at least give me the damn antidote!”
“We don’t know anything about some stupid poison, bitch!”
There’s suddenly a sharp pain at her side, pressure against her torso and then it starts to burn like hell, fire creeping into her nerves. Beidou looks down to see a dagger stabbed into her flesh by the hands of the soldier she’s holding.
“Archons,” Beidou groans, squeezing the agent’s hand as tight as she can before pulling it away, the dagger still embedded in her flesh. “You ruined my clothes!”
“Fuck off, pirate scum!” the agent spits back even when fear is in his eyes as he trembles in Beidou’s grasp.
“You can’t help me at all, can you?” Beidou sighs, loosening her grip and pushing him back to the ground— right where he belongs. “Useless.”
After giving the agent a final glare, Beidou walked off the field to meet her crew. She cringes when her side throbs again, making her groan in pain. “Medic, please.”
“Right away, Captain!”
—
As soon as Beidou arrives at the harbor, she visits Ningguang again, only to see the woman reading a book, dressed in her satin robes. Beidou smiles at the sight— it’s as if nothing happened.
“Hi,” Beidou starts, unsure of what to say.
Ningguang gives her a glance and takes a deep breath, putting the book down. “Where have you been?”
“…Treasure hunting.”
“Now, surely you wouldn’t pick some treasure over me, would you?” Ningguang scoffs.
“No, of course not,” Beidou chuckles nervously, slowly making steps towards Ningguang. “Not when you’re my greatest treasure.”
Ningguang rolls her eyes, but a smile is tempting to show on her lips. “You’re terrible.”
“Debatable,” Beidou shrugs, before leaning in to kiss Ningguang.
However, a finger stops her. “I think it’s best if we don’t...”
“Right,” Beidou shrinks. “The poison.”
Ningguang pulls Beidou closer, wrapping her arms around her waist and keeping her there. “Be honest with me, what did you do?”
“I, uh…” Beidou clears her throat. “Just asked some Fatui Agents.”
“So, why is it that you have a bandage wrapped around your waist?”
“I tripped,” Beidou lies. “…and fell, uh— onto their, um, knife.”
“Beidou—“
“Look, I can’t just sit here,” the pirate says, cupping Ningguang’s cheeks. “This is just a scratch and you—“
Beidou can’t bring herself to say it.
You’re dying.
Ningguang looks away, a disappointed sigh escaping her throat. Nothing follows after, except for silence— the kind that doesn’t fail to fill Beidou’s nerves with anxiety.
“Y’know,’ Beidou breaks the silence, lips pressed against Ningguang’s light hair. “I hung out with Lumine a few days ago.”
“Must be fun, then.”
Beidou lets out a short chuckle. “I think she knows about us.”
“Who doesn’t?”
“I suppose you’re right,” Beidou responds. “She kept on bringing you up, and it was hard trying to hide it all— hide us.”
“You don’t have to hide anything,” Ningguang whispers back, a small cough breaking in. “And you don’t have to hide that ridiculously cute picture of you.”
Beidou panics. “What picture?”
Ningguang laughs before leaning towards her bedside drawer, pulling out a photograph— the exact one that Lumine explicitly promised to throw away.
It’s a horrible picture, really. Beidou looks terrifying in that angle, her face scrunched up in a frown like some kind of monster. Being asked to pose flirtatiously does that to you, and it definitely was the last thing she thought Lumine would even suggest. And somehow, it reached the hands of the person who coincidentally is Beidou’s girlfriend.
“What did you do?” Beidou whines, trying to snatch the picture away.
“Let’s just say I love being rich,” Ningguang dubiously smirks.
“...How much did you pay the girl?”
“Like a hundred thousand mora.”
“Archons,” Beidou hides her face, both flattered and embarrassed at Ningguang’s little schemes. “That much for a single photograph? You could’ve just asked me, then I would’ve given you so much more for free.”
“Would you really?” Ningguang hums. “Last time I checked, you hate being photographed.”
“Well… If it’s for you then…”
“Is that so?” Ningguang raises an eyebrow. “Can I take some more… provocative pictures, then?”
Beidou’s mouth gapes open before her cheeks turn red at the question. She was expecting the cute-but-rare kind of photographs, not… whatever Ningguang just suggested. Still… It’s not a bad idea and thinking about it makes Beidou kind of…bothered.
“If that’s what you want—”
Ningguang starts coughing up blood again, hand gripping the lower half of her face as she buries herself into Beidou’s body.
“Shit,” Beidou rushes to grab a towel. Unsure of what to do, she rubs Ningguang’s back, hands caressing the plane of her skin.
“I’m—” Ningguang attempts to speak but is interrupted by the sound of her own coughing. “I’m fine. I just need to…” she continues, pointing at a vial on her bedside drawer.
Beidou understands and hands it immediately to her, helping Ningguang swallow it all down her throat. The coughing doesn’t stop but Ningguang’s shoulders stop tensing. Still, it doesn’t help Beidou’s overgrowing concern, so she continues to check Ningguang’s condition, noting the fact that her skin is burning.
“Morax, I can’t sit around here doing nothing,” Beidou groans, biting her lower lip. “I have to try, Ning—”
“It’d be more dangerous for us if The Fatui stands as our enemy. I can’t let you risk this alliance, Beidou.”
“I can’t risk you, either,” Beidou whispers, kissing the top of Ningguang’s head. “I don’t want to give you up— not for Liyue, not for Celestia, not for anything.”
“We have to think this through,” Ningguang argues, slowly pulling away. “You know what happened when the Jade Chamber fell— I can’t let that happen again. I can’t lose anything more.”
“Then, what about me?” Beidou’s voice breaks. “If you fall, then what about me?”
“I—“ Ningguang hesitates. “You move on, travel the world.”
“That’s the dumbest thing—“
“If you face the armies of The Fatui, I’ll never forgive myself if anything happens to you!” Ningguang yells, eyes teary. Beidou shrinks, taken back by the sudden raise of her voice. “If you die trying to get something from them, then that’s on me. Beidou, that’s on me!”
Beidou flinches at the way Ningguang says her name, like acid more toxic than the poison circulating in Ningguang’s body, and it hurts Beidou more than the dagger to her flesh.
“You’re right—“ Ningguang continues. “I’m going to die first if we just sit here all day but there’s nothing we can do! I can’t risk anything more. Not my job, not the alliance and not you. Not you, Beidou.”
It hurts Beidou more than it should’ve comforted her.
“Fine,” Beidou lets out a harsh breath. “I won’t mess with The Fatui again—“
Ningguang makes a sigh of relief, shoulders shrinking down.
“—but that doesn’t mean I’m going to stop.”
Ningguang shuts her eyes, recollecting her thoughts before looking at Beidou again. “Why can’t you just stay by my side?”
“I told you, I have to do something.”
“You can do that by staying here with me,” Ningguang argues, the tips of their fingers touching. “If I suddenly… go, I want you to be here with me.”
“That’s the point, Ning,” Beidou’s voice cracks, pushing herself closer to the Tianquan. “I don’t want you to go. So, while we have the time— I can still save you.”
“How can you?” Ningguang huffs, sinking herself into her pillows, eyelids drooping. “You don’t even know where to start.”
“I’ll find a way,” Beidou rests her forehead against Ningguang, her breath ghosting pale skin. “Like I always do.”
Ningguang stays quiet, and for a moment Beidou thinks she passed out until she opens her sapphire red eyes again, but this time they’re soft and vulnerable— sad eyes observing every inch of Beidou’s face.
And then, Beidou realizes that Ningguang is just as scared as she is.
“Ning,” Beidou whispers, her voice suddenly higher than it normally is. “Do you… Do you think you’re replaceable?”
“I’ve always thought everything was replaceable,” Ningguang gulps. “Mora, buildings… people. I was afraid.”
“I’m afraid too,” Beidou says, leaving a kiss on her lover’s forehead— something she loves to do.
“And I stuck to that belief,” Ningguang adds. “Then… I met you.”
It’s not a new confession by all means. Ningguang never fails to remind Beidou that she isn’t someone to be easily disposed of and replaced. But still, it causes butterflies to swirl in her stomach.
“And now, I’m on the brink of… death, I suppose— almost, I think.” Ningguang says. “Liyue can have a new Tianquan, a new leader. I doubt no one is excited for the day of my demise.”
“Don’t say that,” Beidou shakes her head desperately, asking Ningguang to take it back. “Don’t talk like you’re going to leave me.”
“I’m not,” the woman whispers. “I’m making a promise.”
“A promise…”
“I love you now, and I’ll love you forever. Nothing is going to change that.”
“Don’t leave me, Ningguang.”
There is no answer, but somehow, it’s okay. Beidou doesn’t want to hear it.
—
Beidou has passed out many, many times in her life. May it be from having too much to drink, from exhaustion in her nights with Ningguang, or in this case— from getting unexpectedly bonked on the head with the hilt of a weapon and being dragged away to who knows where.
SLAP!
“Wake up, pirate bitch,” a masculine voice says.
Beidou takes time to adjust to the blinding light in front of her, blinking rapidly and squinting to focus on the person facing her.
“Remember me?” the same man says, and yeah, Beidou can recognize that damn voice.
It’s the same Fatui Agent that got his ass kicked and screaming like a lost puppy. It’s bold of him to show his face again after that embarrassing encounter.
“Oh, hey buddy!” Beidou chuckles, trying to ignore the throbbing pain in her head. “How have you been?”
The agent only replies with a scowl before smacking her in the face again.
“Mean,” Beidou whines, before looking behind the grumpy man to see more than five, six, seven… nine other agents, scowling like they haven’t been paid in three months. “You got your friends too!”
“You’re lucky our boss needs to talk to you, or else I would’ve been dead by now.”
“Wow, I’m so scared!”
The agent raises his hand again, ready to punch but then—
“Now, now, I still need to talk to Captain Beidou.”
A tall guy with orange hair and a hydro vision glowing on his waist walks in from the dark. His smile is stupid, Beidou must add.
“Hey,” he says, casual. “I’m—“
“Tartaglia, I know. You’re that bastard who’s responsible for Ningguang’s—“
“Sacrifice? The Jade Chamber’s downfall? Yes, I’m afraid I might be responsible for that,” he laughs, shrugging it off. “But look, my… crew here told me you’ve been looking for something.”
Beidou frowns at him, letting him continue on what he plans on saying.
“And you’ve been beating them up for… what was it again?” Tartaglia pauses. “Ah, yes— some antidote. Hah, it’s funny how you single-handedly kicked their asses.”
At the comment, the agents gasp in shock and betrayal, but choose not to say anything.
“Anyway,” the Harbinger continues. “You must be aware that we have a contract with the Qixing— a friendly, non-violent alliance with Liyue. And you—“
“Yeah, I broke your little deal, blah blah— just fucking tell me what you want!”
“First of all, I want nothing from you, Captain, Tartaglia says. “I just simply needed to have a little chat.”
“Because I’m a good boy,” he adds. “I’ll let you get away with this, and we won’t do anything to harm Liyue. The contract with the Qixing will remain untouched and sealed.”
“That’s it?”
“Of course not,” Tartaglia chuckles. “That’d be too boring for you, yes? Anyway, I’m here to personally tell you that we did not do anything to endanger your dear Tianquan’s life.”
“Stop lying.” Beidou snarls.
“I’m afraid that I’m not. Lady Ningguang is an excellent leader, and I don’t see a reason why I should put a threat on her life. It’s only because of her that the contract still remains unbroken.”
“So… you don’t have the antidote?” Beidou hates how her voice softens.
“Unfortunately not,” Tartaglia sighs. “Although, I’d be willing to… inspect her condition up-close, hands-on, if I may?”
“Absolutely not, you bastard!” Beidou yells, trying to break free from the bonds. “Don’t you dare—“
“Easy, Captain,” Tartaglia raises his hands. “I was joking. Just needed to say something to get a reaction. It was getting a bit dull, don’t you think?”
“Son of a bitch!”
“Well, I have a meeting to attend,” Tartaglia straightens his posture, turning to his crew. “Free her. My business is done.”
“You’re just letting me go?”
“I don’t see why not,” he shrugs. “It’d be heartbreaking if the Tianquan doesn’t have someone to keep her occupied in bed, huh?”
“Remember, Captain— betrayal doesn’t come from an enemy.” Tartaglia gives her a mischievous smirk before a sack is thrown over her head, and suddenly the world turns black after getting the nth concussion this day.
—
The first thing Beidou finds when she wakes up is the concerned look on Furong’s face that turns into a joyful one in a flash. “You’re awake!”
Beidou groans, flinching at the sudden throb of her head. “What happened?”
“Some Fatui guys came here, you dangling over the tall one’s shoulder,” Juza steps in, arms crossed. “We thought you were dead!”
“Archons,” Beidou cringes when she realizes there’s a bandage wrapped around her head.
“Why were you taken by them, anyway?”
“Long story,” Beidou says, dismissing the topic which reminds her— “Fuck, I need to visit Ningguang.”
“Not now, Captain,” Huixing says. “You might pass out if you go.”
“No, no,” Beidou shakes her head. “You don’t understand— Ningguang needs me right now, I need to go.”
“I suppose we can never convince you,” Furong says disappointingly, shaking her head. “Come back alive, Captain.”
Beidou nods, standing up to grab her coat and make her way back to the harbor after bidding her farewells.
—
Keqing and Ganyu stand right in front of Ningguang’s door along with some other officials, discussing something about ‘taxes’ or whatever.
“I thought we agreed that both of you stay inside in case anything happens,” Beidou talks to the two, lowering her voice.
“We were,” Keqing crosses her arms, “Lady Ningguang is currently under a check up by one of our staff.”
“…and does that require utmost privacy?” Beidou asks slowly.
“I… I don’t think so,” Ganyu says, voice soft and tired. “The healer said he needed to be alone with the Tianquan so he could focus.”
Beidou pauses, taking time to think. She understands pressure and the anxiety that builds up when everyone is watching you, but still…
“And we assumed that Ningguang would also appreciate the privacy,” Keqing adds. “By the way, what happened to you?”
“Oh,” Beidou remembers about the bandages wrapped around her arms, waist and head. “Nothing, I’m fine—“
“What is taking so long?!” One of the officials interrupts her, threatening to open the door. “I can’t believe a matter like the Tianquan herself being poisoned was kept from us!”
“Lady Ningguang still had to go several tests before we concluded the case,” Keqing responds, voice firm. “We had to ensure the situation.”
“Keqing,” Beidou nudges the shorter girl. “How about the antidote?”
“That’s still under progress. It’s the reason why the healer is in the room.”
“Wouldn’t it be better if Baizhu was here, too? After all, he’s the one with the intel on Ningguang’s case,” Beidou suggests. It’s far-stretched, the herbalist could’ve passed it over, but Beidou doesn’t trust almost everyone in the Qixing.
“That’s true but we couldn’t do anything about it,” Ganyu says, trailing off. “The healer was insistent on keeping us out, it’s as if… he wants to be alone with her.”
Realization dawns upon Beidou, and she can feel fear drowning her and freezing her in place. It hurts to move but she breaks out of her trance before reaching out to twist the doorknob, but it’s locked in place. “Open this— right now.”
“I thought we kept it unlocked.” Horror spreads across Keqing’s face before rushing to help Beidou open the door.
“Hey!” Beidou yells, pounding the surface repeatedly. “Open up!”
No response, and the silence almost brings Beidou to an unmovable shock.
“Damn it!” Beidou cusses, before swaying her arms to signal the people around to move away. “Back up!”
At her command, Keqing, Ganyu and other officers follow, gasping in terror when Beidou pulls out her claymore out of nowhere. Some yelp when she smashes the door down, giving her an opportunity to break the plane.
Keqing helps Beidou on her way through, and as soon as they enter, they see a man with his hands around Ningguang’s neck, face full of fear of being caught. Ningguang shows signs of resistance, but there’s nothing she could do with her vision discarded on the floor, and her condition too fragile to fight back.
In less than a second, Beidou makes a furious growl, unmistakable tears in her eyes, as she sprints to the scene, fists clenched so hard that her nails dig into her skin.
And all that Beidou can see is red.
The ‘healer’ reacts too slowly, and suddenly his face is in contact with Beidou’s fist which practically sends him flying. A groan escapes his throat as he tries to touch his bruised cheek, blood dripping down his nose. “Monster!”
On any other occasion, Beidou would’ve laughed at how pathetic the man looks as he tries to crawl away, screaming terrible names at her. But Beidou feels nothing but enragement, imagining scenarios where her bare hands tear his limbs one by one and feed him to the unknown monsters of the ocean, his blood becoming one with the ocean.
And it would make her feel better, but everyone knows it’s a lie.
“You,” Beidou says, the syllable spoken like toxic acid, threatening to melt away the skin of this man’s skin.
“You don’t scare me,” he says, but his face betrays his words.
“Don’t underestimate me,” Beidou looks at him lividly, hands itching to grab the man’s throat and she does— her fingers wrapping around his thin neck and she squeezes hard until the healer starts making noise, gasps and small but broken pleas of mercy. Everyone is telling her to stop, but the voices are hazy, as if she was underwater, drowning slowly but she’s taking the motherfucker with her.
It doesn’t feel good; watching the man slowly wither away in her grasp, but it feels… right.
“Remember me,” Beidou tells him, their eyes in contact as she squeezes even tighter. “Remember my fucking face!”
Stories and tales would say her face had been murderous, a look in her eye sending a deadly message of what it feels like to die in the hands of the Uncrowned Lord of the Ocean while she merely grins in pleasure. But in truth; tears fall from her lone eye, lips quivering; the same ones Ningguang loves to kiss.
If only Ningguang was awake and in her arms, then maybe it wouldn’t have come to this; Beidou strangling a helpless man as she tries to feel good about it.
No, the man deserves this. Ningguang doesn’t.
“S-Sto…op… Ple-Please, I—“ The man chokes, face turning red. “M-My wi…ife…”
At the word, Beidou doesn’t stop, but she loosens her grip.
“Beidou!” Ganyu snaps her out of her daze. “We still need him alive!”
Beidou stops herself. One, two, three…
Releasing a final growl, Beidou hesitantly lifts her hands, freeing the man of her grasp, only for him to be taken away by guards.
“This isn’t the last time you’re seeing me,” Beidou warns him.
The man flinches when Beidou moves, only to turn away to find Keqing and Ganyu checking Ningguang’s body, expressions seeming like she’s gone—
“Is she—?” Beidou's voice breaks at the moment she tries to be the strongest.
“Breathing,” Keqing makes a gasp of relief and fear at the same time. “…but unconscious.”
Beidou steps forward, hovering over Ningguang’s face. Her eyes are closed, as Keqing said; unconscious. Beidou traces Ningguang’s facial features from the curve of her cheekbones down to her lips until she reaches her neck.
Anger finds its way again into Beidou’s nerves again as she looks at the dark marks surrounding Ningguang’s neck. She wishes she never let go of that damn man.
“Ning,” Beidou whispers hopelessly, as if by her word, she’d see her lover’s enchanting red eyes again. “Stay with me, okay? Stay with me, please… please…”
A stranger steps closer to them, attempting to get their hands on Ningguang, but Beidou flinches away, not allowing them to do so. “Don’t— Don’t touch her.”
“She needs to have her condition checked,” Keqing says, also stepping in and Beidou also shields the woman in her arms. “Beidou—“
“I’m sorry, I—“ Beidou stutters, before hooking her arms under Ningguang’s knees and one hand supporting her back before lifting her up, careful not to hurt her. The Qixing’s members gasp in horror. “I can’t… I-I can’t trust anyone here.”
“You can’t—“
“I’ll bring her back,” Beidou promises, holding Ningguang more securely. “Just not now. I can’t do that. After— A-After all this… I have to protect her.”
“No, no, only the Qixing has the necessary resources for Lady Ningguang’s recovery,” one of them argues, then another. “You must be foolish to think we’d let a criminal take hold of the Tianquan!”
“Then, why the fuck haven’t you done anything?” Beidou yells back.
“Pardon me? We’ve done more check-ups than you could’ve—“
“Don’t fucking lie to me! All you care about is your stupid pride and ego.”
The council member snarls, disgust and offence written all over their face. “Guards! Take her away—“
“Beidou,” Ganyu interrupts, her tone softer than any of them. “You can just look out for Ningguang here. Just you, we’ll just… we’ll just keep guard outside and no one will disturb you but she has to stay here.”
Ganyu is good at convincing, it’s probably because of her voice— ever so gentle and soft, it’s almost paralyzing. But Beidou is far from convinced, she’s not letting anyone touch Ningguang.
“I’m sorry but I can’t do that,” Beidou says, taking a piece of cloth dangling on the edge of the table, using it to cover Ningguang. “They’ll come for me too, without a doubt.”
With a final goodbye, they all yell arguments and threats at Beidou as she dashes out of the room with Ningguang in her arms. She’s not turning back.
—
The crew on her ship immediately turns to Beidou as a gesture of respect and honor, completely interrupting whatever they were doing. They had looks of gratefulness and relief when they found that she’s unharmed, well, not hurt any further than her condition when she left the ship. However, in a flash, all of them gasp at the sight of a tall form in Beidou’s arm.
“Captain,” Huixing steps forward. “Is that…?”
Beidou ignores the question and brings herself and Ningguang to her cabin, laying the woman down gently on her bed. Still, Ningguang remains unconscious, breathing but her temperature is unnaturally high, beads of sweat down her face.
From there, Beidou ushers Yinxing to follow her, and at the command, the crewmate obliges.
“Do anything you can to stabilize her condition,” Beidou orders. “I trust you, Yinxing. So please, do what you can.”
Yinxin seems startled at the way Beidou’s voice wavers, as if though it was something new and had never occurred before. Nevertheless, she nods her head, rushing to Ningguang’s side and checking her temperature.
Beidou releases a heavy breath, tired, but she forces her voice to be firm and clear. “Juza, Sea Drake, please secure the area. I don’t want anyone outside the Crux near the Alcor, especially the Millelith.”
The two buff men oblige immediately, bringing along some other crewmates to search the area.
“Furong,” Beidou calls, and the girl attends to her in a flash. “Assist Yinxing while she treats Ningguang. Listen to her.”
Beidou’s partially unsure of the idea of going with that order. She’s well-aware that Furong holds such attraction towards her, and commanding her to look out for Beidou’s partner of all people might be considered a motive for another assault directed at Ningguang. But Beidou chooses not to think about it; she trusts her crew, and she trusts Furong.
“Are you going somewhere, again?” Furong asks, breaking Beidou out of her trance.
“Yeah, I… I need to find the antidote,” Beidou responds, already stepping beyond the edge of her ship. “I’m not done.”
Furong bites her lower lip and nods, turning away to find Yinxing.
Just then, the two men return to Beidou. “It’s secure, Captain.”
Strange, Beidou thinks. It might be Keqing’s orders.
Speaking of, the Yuheng stands just several meters away, arms crossed. Behind her are two Millelith guards. Just that. There’s no one else.
At the sight, her crew tenses and draws out their weapon. Beidou acknowledges the instinct, but it’s not the right time for that. “Stand down, it’s fine.”
They lower their weapons, but their fingers are still wrapped around the hilts of their swords.
Beidou steps forward until there’s only a few feet between her and Keqing. “No matter what you say, Ningguang will stay with me—“
“That’s the plan, yes,” Keqing sighs, and Beidou only freezes, perplexed. “Lady Ningguang couldn’t convince you to pay your taxes, and neither can we convince you to hand her over.”
Sounds right, Beidou wants to say, but she doesn’t. Instead, she waits for Keqing to continue.
“I understand you, Captain. I would’ve done the same.”
“What’s this about?”
“You forgot about someone back at the palace,” Keqing says. “We knew you’d come back, so we beat you to it.”
“What?”
“Bring him over,” Keqing commands the guards, who nod at the order. One of them retreats and comes back with a handcuffed (and gagged) guy in their grasp— it’s the man who almost strangled Ningguang to death, Beidou can never forget his damn crooked face.
Beidou must’ve looked furious because fear flashed in the man’s eyes, already attempting to step back.
“We already tried to get something off of him,” Keqing shakes her head. “Nothing.”
“…and you brought him here because?”
“Well, I figured you’d motivate him.”
“I could kill him.” Beidou says so casually, making the man scream out loud for mercy despite the gag in his mouth.
“Yes, you could,” Keqing cocks her head. “But you won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?” Beidou asks, slowly stepping closer until she’s towering over the Yuheng.
Keqing takes the man by the robe and pushes him to Beidou’s direction. Beidou grips his clothing tighter, making sure he doesn’t escape.
“Because you’re a good person,” Keqing continues. “Ningguang says that a lot about you.”
Despite the situation, Beidou finds the time to be flustered.
“And I trust that you’ll return him to the Qixing alive so we can put him back in his cage,” Keqing adds, already stepping away. “But for now, take your time. Do what you have to.”
Beidou’s jaw clenches, but her heart is melting. “I’ll treat you some Golden Shrimp Balls soon.”
Keqing’s eyes widen, excitement shining, and Beidou is reminded that despite what they’re facing right now, Keqing is a friend under all that authority she has to hold. And she knows that they both care about Ningguang more than either of them will admit out loud.
The muffled scream emitting from the man also reminds her of what she needs to do.
“Ah,” Beidou glared at the chained man. “Let’s have a chat.”
—
Beidou finds out that his name is Yuxuan, part of the Qixing’s staff, an assistant to his wife in the medical team. As for his motive as to why he would want to hurt the Tianquan, the mystery remains unsolved. And Beidou intends to find out.
“This doesn’t have to take so long,” Beidou starts, securing the rope behind Yuxuan’s back, bonding his hands. “First, tell me how to get the antidote, and then explain why. Then, this doesn’t have to be painful.”
“The Yuheng says I need to be back at the palace. You can’t do anything to me,” he says desperately.
“Oh?” Beidou raises her eyebrows, fingers tracing the edges of her sword. “I recall her saying alive but… never unharmed.“
Yuxuan gulps, eyes glued to the claymore in Beidou’s hands. He’s scared, that’s for sure, but his mouth is shut into a thin line.
Beidou sighs in disappointment. “Fine. Just— Just give me the antidote.”
“I don’t have it.” Yuxuan responds, and for once, Beidou is unsure if he’s lying or not.
“That can’t be. You created the poison, you must have the antidote.”
“I created the poison to kill her! Why would I make something to bring her back—“
Beidou grips his jaw tightly, furious enough to burn Liyue down. Yuxuan yelps in pain, eyes shut.
“Why?” Beidou asks, but it’s more of a command than a question.
“Don’t lie, Captain,” Yuxuan forces himself to talk despite the hand that’s squeezing his mouth. “When you first met her, you always thought she was a stone-cold, heartless bitch.”
That was a long time ago. Ningguang is far from that.
“Oh, the Tianquan! The Tianquan! Always so beautiful, so rich! So luxurious!” Yuxuan sarcastically cheers. “But that bitch was never a blessing to Liyue. Never! She keeps all that damn money to herself—“
“That’s not fucking true—“
“Because of her, my business failed when we needed it the most, when my pregnant wife needed it the most! and I asked for help. But of course, she didn’t do shit!” Yuxuan yells, Beidou doesn’t flinch. “But y’know what? My own wife worked for her, tirelessly, for hours and days and I told her to stop! But she didn’t! Saying that I was babbling bullcrap about the Tianquan.”
“And you, Captain,” Yuxuan adds, looking at her eye to eye. “You simply changed.”
“I didn’t.”
“You’re my daughter’s hero, and I praised you for that. You didn’t give a damn about the Tianquan’s rules. For years, I believed that you would be the one to bring her down, so I waited,” he snarls. “But you fell in love with her. And here we are now. All this for a bitch.”
“Stop calling her that!” Beidou grabs the hem of Yuxuan’s robe, pulling him closer. “You don’t know anything about her!”
“I’m not done,” Yuxuan interrupts. “My wife fell sick. And I put aside all my grudges and hatred to ask for help, for the last time. Nothing.” his voice breaks, but he continues. “Good thing the pharmacy had offered me a great deal, and my wife was treated immediately.”
“The pharmacy?” Beidou repeats, a distant memory slipping in her head. “When was it?”
“Four months ago.”
”There was a man who caused a commotion earlier, he was asking for his wife’s medical funds who works for me. I remember her,” Ningguang said in bed next to Beidou, smoking from her pipe. “She’s been exceptionally good.”
“Mmhm,” Beidou hummed against Ningguang’s bare shoulder.
“And so I paid the pharmacy a generous amount,” Ningguang continues. “I just hope he’d have the time to visit the place.”
“Really?” Beidou asks, leaving hot kisses on pale skin. “Why not just give it to him?”
“He might not be the only one that needs it,” Ningguang says casually before rolling over to hover over Beidou, her fingers tracing shapes on Beidou’s tan skin. “Let’s stop talking for now, hm?”
“Yes, ma’am.”
The memory makes Beidou chuckle, and Yuxuan stares at her in confusion.
“What’s so funny?”
Beidou suddenly stops and glares at him. “Ningguang was the one who paid for it.”
“You’re just saying that,” Yuxuan says confidently, but doubt and confusion is plastered all over his face.
“All of this—“ Beidou growls. “For a stupid misunderstanding!”
“I didn’t—“
“Are you happy now?” Beidou pulls him harshly, pulling out a dagger from the pockets of her outfit and pressing it against his neck. “Are you satisfied?”
“Don’t— Please don’t kill me, I-I still need to… my wife, my daughter—“
“And what about me?” Beidou’s voice cracks, her throat suddenly sore and tears forming in her eye. “What about me?”
I love you now, and I’ll love you forever. Nothing is going to change that.
Yuxuan looks at her with pity and fear. Beidou must’ve looked pathetic, clutching to a helpless man as she sobs.
“Just…” Beidou chokes, anger slowly dissipating, replaced with sadness. “Just tell me how to get the antidote.”
“I don’t… I don’t know! I’m telling you—“
Beidou snaps again, taking him outside the room by the shirt, where her crew’s been waiting. “Captain!”
Beidou ignores them, not in the mood, marching straight to the edge of the ship. She threatens to drop Yuxuan into the waters, hands tied and there’s nothing he can do but drown in Beidou’s domain.
“Don’t drop me—“
It’s a pitiful beg for mercy, Beidou thinks, and she slowly loosens her grip, making Yuxuan tremble, wiggling in his place.
“Please… P-Please don’t— You’d never, you won’t—“
“Do you know what the name ‘Beidou’ means?”
Yuxuan widens his eyes, and of course he knows.
“Nandou controls life,” Beidou says in a monotone. “Beidou controls death.”
Her crew gasp in shock, not able to believe their eyes.
“Repeat after me,” Beidou commands Yuxuan. “Beidou controls—
“B-Beidou controls—“
“—death.”
“—d-death.”
“I’m giving you one last chance,” Beidou says, barely holding on to Yuxuan. “Where is the antidote?”
“Just—J-Just give me time! A week! I’ll make it— I’ll figure it out. Please—“
“We don’t have time!”
“Please… my wife—“
“Shut your mouth,” Beidou orders. “You took her away from me, I might as well take someone’s husband away too.”
“I wasn’t going to poison her— I swear!” Yuxuan says. “There’s someone i-in the Qixing! He made a deal with me; if I get r-rid of the Tianquan, he’d help me!”
Beidou widens her eyes at the revelation. It’s not entirely a surprise, but somehow it still makes Beidou’s heart drop. “If I find out that you’re lying—“
“I’m not! I swear! Please, Captain. Let me go—“
“As you wish,” Beidou says before loosening her grip entirely, letting Yuxuan fall and disappear into the sea.
“Captain!” Her crew shouts, in disbelief.
Beidou glances at each one, all of them shocked and betrayed. They had an oath; don’t take someone’s life. And Beidou honors oaths.
“Juza, Sea Drake,” Beidou sighs, tired as she walks back into her cabin. “Get him out of the water, and return him to the Qixing.”
You’re a good person. Ningguang says that a lot about you.
“Just don’t let me see his face ever again.”
They nod their heads and dive off the ship.
“Yinxing—“ Beidou calls, and the woman flinches. “How is she…?
“She’s awake but…”
Beidou doesn’t listen after that, waves of relief washing all over her body and she dashes to her cabin to see Ningguang awake, sitting up and a confused look on her face.
“Beidou—“
In a flash, Beidou has her arms around Ningguang, muttering quiet apologies and promises. Ningguang returns the embrace, kissing Beidou’s shoulder.
“How are you feeling? Do you need anything? A-Anything at all, I—“ Beidou pauses to breathe, in disbelief of the sight before her. “Archons, Ningguang, you scared the shit out of me.”
“My body aches, and I’m tired,” Ningguang leans into Beidou. “Don’t go anywhere, Beidou.”
“I won't, I won’t, I promise…”
“I’m sorry,” Ningguang whispers.
“No, what? Why are you apologizing?” Beidou says, brushing Ningguang’s bangs off her face.
“You went through…” Ningguang traces the bruises and wounds on Beidou’s face, to her arms and hands. “…all of this. For me.”
Shaking her head, Beidou takes Ningguang’s hand and kisses her palm. “This is nothing.”
“Did you… Did you find the antidote?”
Beidou’s heart drops, tightening her grip on Ningguang’s hand. “I promise you, I’ll find a way… I’ll do anything for you, Ning—“
Ningguang opens her mouth to say something, but all that comes out is blood. This time, it doesn’t stop too soon.
“Fuck, fuck,” Beidou mutters, searching the area for anything. “Yinxing!”
The woman dashes into the room in a second. No explanation is needed as she runs to pick out a glass of some substance from her pouch, handing it over to Beidou.
“Here, here…” Beidou whispers, bringing the glass to Ningguang’s mouth. She’s trying her best not to spill the liquid, especially that her hands are trembling with concern.
“I’m fine… I just…” Ningguang says in between coughs before laying on the bed.
Beidou watches in horror as Ningguang’s skin becomes paler than it usually is, her lips dry and discolored. At her side, Beidou clenches her fists, pursing her lips as she tries not to sob at the moment she needs to be the strongest.
“Captain…?” Yinxing calls out.
“Yeah?” Beidou sniffs, clearing her throat.
“May I talk to you somewhere else?”
“Oh,” Beidou says hesitantly. She turns to Ningguang, leaving a kiss on her forehead. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”
Ningguang only nods, eyelids drooping.
Beidou presses her lips against Ningguang’s hand before meeting Yinxing outside.
“Um… I— uh, I don’t know how to say this but uh…” Yinxing starts, hesitating.
“Just say it,” Beidou has an idea of what her crewmate has to say, but she’s still afraid of hearing it.
“Without the antidote, I don’t…” Yinxing pauses. “I don’t think she’s going to be here for any longer.”
It’s expected, she kept the possibility in the back of her head where she hoped would be forever buried. Beidou can’t help but deny destiny for as long as she breathes. She doesn’t want to hear it.
Beidou still has plans, their dreams, their goals— everything. They would go on walks in the harbor without anything to worry about. They could live together in a comfortable place, where it’s just the two of them. They would cook together, bathe together, they would fall asleep with their hands intertwined on a king-sized bed.
Then, the time would come when Beidou would ask to marry Ningguang. And just maybe, they’d have a family. Whether it was a home full of cats and dogs, or two little children running around their yard. It’d be a happy life.
But Beidou knows she’ll have to accept the truth that maybe it isn’t meant to be.
—
“Ning?”
A hum is the only response Beidou gets, but she’s content with it.
It’s cold outside, and she can hear the sound of waves softly crashing against her ship. It’s strange that Ningguang’s body is cold, but laying beside her already makes Beidou feel warm inside.
They’re both naked in bed but not because of the usual, conventional reason. Tonight, Beidou intends to be as close as she can with Ningguang despite the chills that run up Beidou’s spine from being bare in a room with the windows open. The absence of the thin barrier of clothing between them makes little to no difference, but she desires to memorize each curve of Ningguang’s body, every flaw and every beautiful little thing.
“Do you know what the name Beidou means?” she asks, her voice barely a whisper.
Ningguang opens her eyes, facing Beidou. She looks tired, but beautiful as she has always been. “It means Big Dipper, the North Star.”
It’s still an answer, just not the one Beidou’s expecting.
“Heh, I don’t know why I didn’t expect that to come out of your mouth,” Beidou caresses Ningguang’s face, rough and calloused fingers tracing smooth skin. “You know what happened to the village I used to live in, right?”
Ningguang frowns. “You…You don’t seriously think this is your fault, do you?”
As a response, Beidou gives her a sad look, tears drenching her pillow.
“This isn't part of your curse, love,” Ningguang says weakly. “You’re not a curse. You will never be.”
Beidou wants to believe her, she really does. But she’s always been so stubborn, hasn’t she? “You know, you’ve always been so exceptional, Ning.”
Ningguang’s expression softens, and she waits for Beidou to explain.
“For years, I hated the law, and yet I found myself infatuated with a lawmaker. I disliked fancy, luxurious people, yet I grew fond of the wealthiest woman in Teyvat. I’ve never fallen in love with someone despite all the women I’ve laid my eye on,” Beidou sighs. “For a moment, I thought there just wasn’t someone out for me. And well, you came, of course…then I fell harder than your Jade Chamber—“
The last sentence gives her a light pinch to her side, and Beidou chuckles. “Sorry, sorry…”
“So, y’know, I was so sure you’d be the exception,” Beidou continues. “And thought that with the whole ‘Beidou means death’ agenda… well, it’d work the same.”
“Ning, of all the people I’ve met and lost, I prayed to the Archons that you’d be the only exception to everything bad in this world but—“ Beidou sniffs. “The gods stood me up.”
“And that isn’t your fault, Beidou,” Ningguang places her hand atop Beidou’s own. “When will you ever believe me?”
“I always believe you, just not this one, I’m afraid,” Beidou says. “I’m sorry that I keep on hurting you.”
“Beidou, if you think that you’re cursed, then I choose to be cursed for the rest of my life if I can keep on loving you,” Ningguang says. “And maybe, ‘the rest of my life’ isn’t that long anymore, you have to remember that I will always choose you. I choose to love you. I choose to be with you, despite all the misfortunes life has to throw at us.”
“You’re so sappy,” Beidou jokes despite the sobs that break through. “You’re making me blush.”
They stay quiet after that, keeping each other warm, small whispers lingering in the room. Beidou doesn’t resist tracing Ningguang’s skin, especially the tattoo on her thigh. She’ll remember it all.
It feels lonely, as if though Beidou's the only one in the room. For a moment, she’s afraid that she might be when it stays quiet for too long until Ningguang talks again.
“I want… to kiss you,” Ningguang pulls Beidou in. “Please… kiss me, Beidou.”
Without any hesitation, Beidou brings her lips to Ningguang’s soft ones. It’s cold, but it feels the same, bringing fire into her stomach and suddenly she wants more. She opens her mouth, Ningguang returns it and they share a passionate kiss. Beidou’s fingers grip, hold and touch every patch of skin, every curve and every inch of Ningguang. She’s holding a matter of perfection, so precious and dear to her that she’s afraid of breaking it.
It’s when Ningguang’s hand tightens on Beidou’s arm that they stop.
“Are you alright?” Beidou asks, worry in her nerves.
“I just… It’s hard to breathe,” Ningguang gasps, chest heavily rising up and sinking again.
“Wait, there should be something—“ Beidou panics, getting off the bed but a hand stops her.
“Don’t— hah, go…anywhere,” Ningguang asks, eyes full of desperation. “Please.”
“I just need to get some medication for you, Ning. Surely there must be—“
“Beidou,” tears suddenly fall from Ningguang’s eyes, her shoulders shaking. “Every time… I ask you to— hah… stay, you keep… you keep on leaving me. Don’t do that to me…please…”
It’s cruel to see Ningguang in such a state, one that Beidou caused. “I-I’m sorry, I’m sorry… I’m so sorry, Ningguang. I didn’t realize—” Beidou kisses the top of her lover’s head as she continues muttering quiet apologies.
Harsh, uneven breathes become quiet. Ningguang has gone completely still in her arms.
No, no, please not yet, Beidou begs the heavens, clutching on to Ningguang. Don’t take her away from me.
“Ning?”
No answer.
“My love?”
Something traces against Beidou’s back, scribbling invisible lines and shapes. The pressure is barely there, but it’s enough for Beidou to know that Ningguang is still with her.
Just not for long. Even Beidou can’t deny it anymore.
And there’s nothing she can do but stay. But maybe that’s enough for Ningguang. For both of them.
“Ning, follow my breathing,” Beidou instructs her.
She takes a deep breath, and she sees Ningguang’s body follow through.
“G-Good job,” Beidou says weakly, her voice an octave higher from crying. “Keep going.”
She holds her breath for a second or two before breathing out. Ningguang follows.
“You’re so good to me,” Beidou breathes in again. “You’re too good for a world that doesn’t deserve you.”
And out.
In, and out.
In, and out…
Another breath. And another.
“I love you with all the rivers and seas of my heart.” Beidou whispers, accepting the fate the gods have decided.
Then, it becomes the last.
And finally, Beidou breaks. Her screams are worthy enough to be told like a tale in children’s story books; How the Dragon of the Sea roared in the oceans, and how the earth shook by the loss of her one and only Pheonix.