Work Text:
Purpled laid down on the bed, the sound of paws against the floor. Dogchamp hopped onto the bed, carefully making her way to Purpled. The sound of Eminem raping about his daughter was distant, it was more static than music since the CD player was old. It was a hand me down, held together by tape and glue. The soft fur of Dogchamp was pressed against his thin arms, lightly tickling the skin. He was on his back, looking at the ceiling.
Purpled was your basic teenager. Scrawny, small and short and had explosive acne. He and his brother were quite religious, having a crucifix on the wall and cross necklaces littered around. That’s one thing Punz wouldn’t care to spend money on. They had so many bibles, both taken from libraries and hand me downs.
Purpled’s wardrobe often consisted of stolen clothes from Punz, which were oversized hoodies and white tees, sweatpants and baggy jeans. He had worn out white Nikes.
The room wasn’t big, quite small as it was upstairs. It was connected to a bathroom with a dirty shower and half functioning toilet that probably needed acute plumbing from how many cigarettes he and Punz had thrown into there. The walls of his room were blue, plastered with Polaroids of him and his friends, Tubbo and Tommy, smiling and lighting shit on fire. He had a table by his bed, half finished homework and scraped drawings and half assed essays.
On the floor he had nothing but dirty clothes and hair strands that he was too lazy to clean up. In the room there was a window as well with a ladder outside. His door had been taped, broken from how many times he had slammed it shut in pure rage. He had a key to the door, and stole it from Punz late at night a year ago. Under his bed he had a small box filled with lighter and lighter fluid, as well as a box of cigarettes for when he sneaked out with Tommy and went to the field. In that box he also had cash, money he had got from taking cigarettes and selling them to kids at school and desperate people.
It wasn’t much, only around twenty-five dollars. He was saving up, so he could move out as fast as he could. Dogchamp seemed to fall asleep on his arm, the weight of the dog slightly uncomfortable but he didn’t move. Purpled took a breath, hearing the song switch to ‘Slim Shady’.
He shut his eyes, he could fit a nap in before making dinner for himself.
***
The teen stood in the messy kitchen, choosing not to look at the dirty dishes in the sink. He had brought the CD player down, ‘I wish’ was playing as he took out the instant noodles.
It was eight pm and his nap had lasted longer than he had previously wanted. He didn’t feel particularly hungry but their noodles would soon expire and Purpled did not want to get into an argument with his older brother about food.
His hips danced to tune as he started to boil water, eyes glancing at the bill on the table. He chose to ignore that as well. Punz would be home soon, and then he would probably be as irritated as he was always when coming home.
Punz worked as a retail worker, at the Walmart just a few blocks away. Though he always took more than what’s considered normal shifts to get more money in.
Purpled didn’t mind, it was nice to be able to be home alone sometimes. But sometimes it would be nice as well to have an older brother to watch movies with and not watch it with friends that constantly make dirty jokes.
But Purpled knew it could be worse, he was happy to have an older brother. But he let his thoughts drown as he turned up the music, dancing even more as he waited for the water to boil.
***
He heard keys jiggle, somehow more aggressive than usual. And Purple immediately regretted not eating in his rooms. The second thing he heard was how wildly the door was opened, he was afraid it would actually break the hinges holding the poor thing. Purpled lowered the music, staring into the brown, ugly table as he quietly ate the noodles.
He secretly didn’t want to eat the noodles, but if Punz found out he didn’t eat dinner today either then he would probably show up to school with a black eye.
He heard the heavy breathing of his older brother when he slammed down the keys in the table, making him jump and look up.
There he stood, with a white hoodie with ropes black jeans and a golden chain around his neck. Punz had a straight nose, a bit of a scruff on his chin and jaw. Piercing blue eyes met striking grey ones, the two brothers didn’t speak.
“Sorry, for coming home late.” Punz mumbled as he threw off his shoes. Purpled only nodded, now continuing to eat his noodles. Maybe Punz wasn’t so mad as he thought he was gonna be.
“Ugh, Mary was such a bitch at work today.” the thirty year old groaned. Mary, Punz’s ex girl, had left him when Purpled got into a fight with the bitch’s daughter. She had deserved it for putting eggs in his bag.
“Is that so?” Purpled asked, trying not to sound like the little shit he was. Punz nodded, scooping up the half eaten noodles. “HEY THAT’S MINE!” Purpled shouted, snapping around as Punz leaned against the counter with a smug face and ate his noodles. Purpled groaned, wanting to facepalm out of this world.
“Yeah sure just take my noodles, asshole.”
“Oh shush, I pay rent. I deserve this, now get your ass into bed.” Punz clarified, somehow eating all the noodles in just a swift motion. He burped as he stroked his stomach, making Purpled make a disgusted noise.
“I have to get to work early tomorrow, so you’ll take the bus ‘Kay? I don’t wanna hear any problems from ya either.”
“You make it sound like I have a criminal record of drugs and murder.” Purpled joked, before getting a cold eye by Punz. The younger brother rolled his eyes, but stood up either way.
“Well, goodnight then. Asshole.”
“Dumbass.”
“Asshat.”
“Fucko.”
“Dickwad.”
“Don’t say such profanities, or else I’ll need to get laundry detergent to clean your mouth.”
“Whatever, see you tomorrow. Bitch.”
***
Purpled laid down in bed, cringing at the taste of minty teeth. Dogchamp had trapped him by laying on him and making him unable to reach for a pen and paper. He looked to the side, seeing the box full of CDs and other junk.
He was a big fan of rap, most CDs were from Punz from anywhere from 1992 to 1998, he had gotten his own for about five years. And his latest was The Eminem Show. He had been needing to beg for nine months for it. Because it had been sixty dollars, and Purpled was about to use all his savings for it but somehow Punz had got a copy of it, though Purpled was Ninety percent Punz had stolen it but who was he to complain? He had gotten what he wanted.
He dragged his hand over the covers, they were unwashed but soft, soft and worn out. He shivered a bit, dragging the fabric tighter around him. He felt Dogchamp’s fur tickle his chest, making him heave before finally pushing the dog away with an apologetic face.
Dogchamp sleepily looked up, seemingly rolling her eyes, before laying on top of the covers. Purpled smiled, a bony hand running his fingers through her thick fur.
But the wholesome moment quickly went away as he heard steps up the stairs, not hurried but seemingly trying to be quiet. Purpled knew it was about six seconds before someone opened the door, so he quickly turned around and faced the wall and closed his eyes. He relaxed his entire body and went lax, pretending to be asleep. He opened his mouth slightly, just so he could get those sleepy breaths out.
Purpled heard how the door was opened, light soaring into the room. He felt Dogchamp head lift slightly, and a hand suddenly on his forehead.
He forced himself not to flinch, only making a sleep sound of discomfort. He knew this was Punz’s hand. Big and warm, short fingernails due to the boredom at work. A thumb stroked his eyebrow, and heard the murmur of Punz praying.
“Amen.” He heard Punz whisper, before the warm hand disappeared and was replaced with cold air. He felt Punz reach over to pet Dogchamp, the dog whining happily.
Then he went out with heavy steps. Purpled felt himself start to cold sweat, panic.
He felt like something was watching him, from the corner.
***
Purpled groaned as he grabbed the hoodie tighter around him. His trashy earbuds messily pushed into his ear, some random song playing in his ear as the yellow bus was loud and sea of moving children. The bus was almost full, except for the seat beside him and in front of him. But it was fine, there was only one stop left. And Tubbo and Tommy always stepped into that station, so he was gonna sit alone on the seat. It was fine.
He was sitting alone, waiting for Tubbo and Tommy. Even though he knew that Tubbo would sit by Tommy, and a seat in front of him so he would have to scrunch his back to get to talk to the two. Yknow, basic trio stuff.
The bus stopped, a kid walked on. Someone he hadn’t seen before, he had a black t-shirt and sweatpants. He wore sunglasses, dirty white off brand tennis shoes and two rings. The kid also had a small necklace, a ring tread through the chain.
He felt anxious as the kid continued to walk back, Purpled was sitting a few seats from the back. The kid opened his mouth, moving. Purpled couldn’t hear, he was too focused on the guy talking to him. Though Purpled quickly tugged out one of the buds, doing that kind of expression that asks someone to repeat themselves.
“Is it okay if I sit here? There’s like no seats left.” Purpled stared, the accent a pleasant surprise. It had an Australian accent, it was cute.
“Sure. Don’t bother me though.” Purpled mumbled, trying not to sound too rude. The Australian shined, at least from his big smile. Maybe he was completely dead behind his glasses.
Soon the bus bumped, the entire thing almost sounding like it was about to explode before moving its wheels to the last destination before school. The sound of some off brand raper rapping in the background, the beat heavy and rough to his ears. Purpled looked out the window and he was so incredibly bored. He tried to drown in the music and tried to think along to the lyrics.
He started to fiddle with the sleeve of his hoodie, or well rather Punz’s hoodie, and felt the strings of the fabric. He tried to think of something, like what class was first. It was Math, his favorite subject. He was great in school, straight A’s in everything.
***
Purpled was exhausted when he got home. He was ready to just give Dogchamp some food, let her run around like crazy while he took a nap. So he slammed the door to their basic non refrigerated food. He took some wet dog food, ripped the package open. He heard the paws against the stale wood, probably doing some minor scratches.
He cooed her name, going down on his knees and only doing the high pitched voice he only made around her. Purpled saw how the light of his day came running by, with her tongue out and icy eyes looking into his.
He gentlyl petted her, scratching behind her ears and making high pitched sounds. Eventually he walked over to the bag of dry dog food that was in the corner and ripped it open, letting the contents fall into a bowl by him. Dogchamp immediately made her way to the bowl and basically devoured everything. Purpled smiled, before zipping the zip lock on the bag.
Now he felt tired, Purpled glanced at the open backdoor and promptly prayed that no criminal would enter his home. He walked with heavy steps up the stairs, up to his messy room. He eyed the undone pile of homework, he’ll do it later he decides. Purpled didn’t even try to change clothes before promptly falling straight onto the covers with his face facing down. He thought back of today, the weird encounter on the bus, getting promptly ignored by Tommy and Tubbo, sleeping through classes and eating the shitty free lunch and walking home due to not wanting to hop on the bus with that Australian dude.
Purpled closed his eyes, calming his breath as he faintly heard footsteps. Heavy and calming, the footsteps of a Punz coming home early. He hugged himself, too tired to get under the covers.
Purpled fell asleep in peace and with the slightest smile on his lips.
***
It was nine PM and Punz held the beer in his hand. He couldn’t resist it, the calming effect and how it somehow made everything alright. His little brother was still asleep, so he had taken out his leftover blunts and started to smoke. He never did it when Purpled was home, so he decided to just take a little. But the intoxicated man couldn’t help but take one more can, one more breath or one more cigarette. He knew he shouldn’t, he had an addiction brain and he did not wanna go through rehab again. That shit sucked ass.
The TV was showing some random teen movie, was it evil girls? Punz couldn’t remember, he was too high to care.
His feet danced a little to the music as they rested on the table, it was a catchy song sue him. He saw a girl in pink chasing a boy.
Punz didn’t feel guilty, at least not yet. He knew he should be, getting it on with the devils lettuce and booze while his little brother was upstairs and could wake up any seconds. He groaned, hating his brain for making him think about it. He just wanted some time off the goddamn worrying thoughts. Debt, rent, having to pay for antidepressants and modafinil and melatonin, having to make food and check that Purpled is doing okay. He felt everything pile onto him. And with a little less than minimum wage job he could barely do it. And it didn’t help that he needed to borrow money from his friends and family to be able to pay for gas or food.
And not to mention all the drugs he was buying and hiding, and- and it was all so much for him.
He wanted to do something. Not sit and work in retail and wait to die.
Punz wanted a normal brother, a normal life and hella money.
***
“Punz? My, my antidepressants and melatonin pills are uh, empty. And I swear that there was like, ten in each.” Purpled stood awkwardly while leaning against the counter. He was pale, he was afraid Punz thought he was trying to overdose or something.
“Oh, I’m sorry Purp but I got a killer headache I can’t hink.” Punz mumbled, massaging his temples. Now he felt the shame, guilt and biting snake in his stomach. He was a fucking asshole, taking his brothers medicine to sell for money? Jesus Christ, he was the biggest sinner in the world.
Purpled nodded curtly, ignoring his shaky hands. He had a feeling Punz knew, but just didn’t tell him. Purpled didn’t blame him, he knew they needed money. He just felt a bit betrayed that his brother wouldn’t tell him. He wouldn’t get mad, angry or even irritated. Just sad and hella depressed.
“I, uhm, yeah. I’ll tell you if… anything happens.” The younger said, slowly walking away. Up the stairs and into his own world. He would have to wait ten days to get more medication. Purpled started to pray.
***
“Ye, Purp you seem more tired than normal.”
“‘M fine, my antidepressants and melatonin are out and I have to wait, like, seven days for it.”
“Aw man that fucking sucks, how’s that even happen?”
“I dunno, just woke up one day and they were empty.”
“You didn’t like, like try anything…?”
A beat of silence.
“Nah.”
That’s all they needed, even if the two younger ones didn't believe him.
“Well then we have nothing to worry about. We just have to be there even more so you don’t collapse!”
Purpled almost scoffed at it, they would only end up being with each other in the end.
***
Punz stood awkwardly with Purpled in the cue in the pharmacy. Purpled looked more small, seemingly folding onto himself. Like he was hiding from some imaginary monster. Punz brought a warm hand to rub his brother back, only to get a light push and glare. He guessed that’s what he deserved for everything he did. For being a trashy brother, a sinner and an asshole.
But it did hurt no matter how much Punz said to himself that he deserved it. He still felt the lingering headache, the bruise he got from hitting his knee into the coffee table when he stumbled to bed. It was a miracle he managed to clean while being blown out of the world.
Purpled stood awkwardly, his hand nervously tapping against his thigh.
“Stop that.” Punz whispered, no fire behind it. He just seemed tired, tired of himself and the life in this small shitty town.
“Stop what?” Purpled sneered, even though he knew that Punz meant. He was allowed to be an asshole to an asshole.
“God, you’re impossible.”
“At least I don’t take medication from other people.”
“I told that I didn’t-“
“Number 57?” Punz looked up and smiled at the lady, before turning to Purpled with a look. Purpled rolled his eyes but they walked over to the front desk.
“Hi, yes we’re here to take out prescribed melatonin, modafinil and antidepressants.”
“For Purpled Merce?”
“Yep, that’s me.” Purpled muttered, smiling at the lady. The lady nodded, her curly black hair almost in her eyes as she leaned closer to the screen. Her chocolate eyes searched the screen.
“Hmm, yes you just need to write your security number and names of both you and your father and the date you took me out while I get them.” The lady said, smiling at the two.
The two brothers stood awkwardly, they been called father and son many times. It was almost awkward when they fought, Punz was very much Purpled’s father figure.
“Yeah, exactly dad .” Purpled teased, though with a stingy voice. Punz groaned, though low enough not to be heard by the lady or anyone else.
Purpled scribbled down his information before sliding the paper to Punz.
***
Punz glanced at his brother, feeling his heart sink just slightly. Purpled’s head lolling to the turns he made, his hands weakly holding the three tubes with pills and closed eyes. It made him hurt, he wanted his family to be able to see everything beautiful, to see the sunset without having to have an energy drink beside him and having to have an addict to a brother. It hurt and he didn’t want to think Purpled felt.
Punz knew he couldn’t really live like this, he closed his eyes as he took a deep breath. Feeling his bones feeling heavy, looking at his brother before looking at the road yet again knowing he’ll never get away.