Archive of Our Own

Christmas lights glisten off the freshly fallen snow as Daryl pulls the truck to a stop outside of the house he can still recall in perfect detail even all these years later. He turns the truck off and without the groan of the old engine, the world sounds quiet, serene. The only noise is Dog's panting and Daryl's own measured breaths as he watches the windows looking for any sign of movement inside. They're probably all asleep, it is late and it isn't like he told anyone he was coming. He never does. Whenever she asks him why Daryl likes to pretend he doesn't know, that he just doesn't think about it but he knows it's a lie every time it passes his lips. He never tells her he's coming so she can't tell him not to bother. If she wants to turn him away he'd rather have his heart broken in person and not over the phone. He's old-fashioned that way. Or maybe he's just old. Far too old for her. Far too old to be sitting in his truck staring at her house and hoping she'll come outside, once more for old times sake.

How long have they been doing this? Sneaking around in the dead of night like a secret as if she's something to be ashamed of. Daryl knows that's not the reason they keep it quiet. She is nothing to be ashamed of, he is. He is too old and too dirty to be touching such a wonderful thing as her.

She says it doesn't bother her, of course, she does. He wouldn't be here if it did. She doesn't even want to keep it a secret, that's all Daryl's doing. He just doesn't see why she should have to face the judgment and the ridicule of being with him when he can't even stick around long enough to help her keep the whispers at bay, or at least to tell them to shut up.

Light from the house suddenly shines across the snow and Daryl starts, Dog whimpering beside him. He wants out of the truck and Daryl can't blame him. His legs are cramping up too. Daryl opens his door and Dog is out of the truck before Daryl even has his seatbelt off. He hopes the light is her and not her dad or worse her brother.

Dog rushes around the yard, snow kicking up around his feet and Daryl watches him in amusement as his heart races. He wants to call her but he deleted her number a few months ago in a fit of trying to be a better man. He had told himself he was going to go cold turkey, cut off all contact with her, and for a few months he'd held strong to that promise. And then two days ago in a truck stop outside of Dallas, he saw a keychain with her name on it. Next thing he knew he was driving across several state lines racing towards her.

The keychain is cold in his pocket as Daryl shoves his hands into them, all but falling out of the truck. His left leg is nothing but pins and needles and he shakes it off as he stands and watches the front door. He hasn't let himself think this far, taking it only mile by mile. He hadn't actually planned to come up to the house at all, he was going to leave the keychain in the mailbox but when he got to the drive the gate was open and well, here he was.

Daryl's eyes track the front porch and he leaves footprints in the snow as he heads carefully up the creaky steps. Each one sounds like a gunshot in the still night. He'll just leave the keychain on the porch and be done with it, with her. How many times has he had that thought and yet here he is?

Maybe one day he'll finally mean it.

He lays the keychain down on the mat and flushes, he hadn't even wrapped the damn thing. How lazy is he? Not even a damn piece of ribbon on it. Daryl flushes as he stares down at it. This is all he has to offer her? A chunk of plastic with her name in comic sans? It looks even cheaper laying there on the welcome mat with bright snowmen on it. Of course, they have a Christmas-themed welcome mat. Why wouldn't they? They can afford to have more than one welcome mat and they have the house to put it in front of while all Daryl has to offer is this piece of junk.

His face warm Daryl leans down and snatches the keychain back up. He straightens up just as a click sounds and Daryl flinches as the door swings open. His breath steams out like a fog and through it, her eyes meet his, staring at him like she isn't at all surprised to find him on her front porch at four in the morning after months without a single word.

"Hey, stranger." she gives him a smile he doesn't deserve and leans her hip against the doorframe.

Daryl swallows hard and tucks the keychain up into his palm before slipping his hands into his pockets. He hopes she didn't see it. What had seemed like such a romantic gesture while he was on the highway speeding here now looks like everything else he has to offer; cheap, worthless. He swallows past the lump in his throat and Dog rushes up the porch steps as he realizes who's outside. She bends before he can jump on her and Dog licks her face in exuberance, his tail thumping loudly against the doorframe likely waking everyone else in the house.

Daryl almost wishes he could greet her that happily, not the licking but maybe a kiss or two. Hell, even a handshake. What would it be like to have her skin on his again?

Daryl shoves the thoughts from his head and smiles. He can feel it is a grimace even before she looks up at him with a frown.

"Hey, Leah."

He's not sure how long he drives. Long enough that the pain and the heartbreak fade but don't diminish completely. Long enough for the sun to rise and then set again. They stop only twice for gas and Dog runs around the truck stop as quickly as he can, dodging cars and people like he knows that he needs to stretch his legs as best as he can while Daryl is actually giving him the chance. He feels guilty about it but then he remembers the look Leah gave him, the mixture of pity and disgust where there used to be only love or at least what Daryl had taken for love. Maybe it was only lust. Maybe it wasn't even that, maybe she'd just been bored. It doesn't matter what it had been he can only see what it is now. When her face flashes behind his eyes his foot goes down harder on the gas and the idea of stopping flees his mind.

He needs to put distance between them, not just him and Leah but him and his shame. His pain. It feels like it is still sitting in the car with him and Daryl rolls the windows down in the hopes it might rush out. Frigid air and snow fly into the car a few times and the roads get slicker the further south he goes as the snow gives way to icy rain.

Neon lights wink at him and for a moment Daryl thinks that they are more Christmas lights. He blinks and realizes it is just the flashing neon of an all-night diner. He swings into the parking lot, Dog lifting his head from his lap with a whine.

"Wait here, boy." Daryl scratches behind his ear and gets out of the truck, ice crunching under his boots and a bell tinkling over the door as it opens. The diner is empty and clearly old, the booths well wore with stuffing poking through a few of the stitches. At first, Daryl doesn't think anyone is in there at all but then a young blonde woman hops up from behind the counter holding a book Daryl is pretty sure she dropped in surprise when the bell dinged.

"Hey." His voice is gruff from disuse and holding back tears of frustration all day. "My dog is in the truck. I know y'all serve food and all but-"

"Bring them in!" she says depositing her book on the shiny countertop. "It's too cold for anything to be out there tonight. I'll seat you well away from the kitchen, it'll be fine."

Daryl nods his thanks and gets Dog from the truck, leading him to the edge of the parking lot first to do his business. Both of them slide on the icy ground on the way into the diner.

Once inside Daryl shakes some of the rain from his coat at the same time Dog does. He flushes when he looks up and catches the waitress grinning at the sight of them, a coffee mug already in her hand.

"Hey cutie," she grins and sets the mug on the booth tucked near the door, far from the kitchen like promised. "What's your name?" she holds out her hand for Dog to sniff and she must smell like the greasy food wafting from the kitchen because Dog takes one whiff before he starts licking her palm. The woman giggles and some small shard of Daryl that hasn't been shattered into a million pieces realizes that she's pretty. Kind too as far as he can tell. Didn't think they made them that way anymore. He's spent so long around people of Merle's or Leah's choosing he's forgotten it doesn't have to be one or the other. A person can be both kind and pretty.

The waitress is looking up at him and Daryl blinks realizing belatedly she was asking him a question, it isn't like Dog can tell her his name. He wears a tag of course but it just has the record of his recent shots and Daryl's phone number on it.

"Dog."

The woman's smile widens and Daryl realizes that she is wearing a nametag. She must have written it herself, the marker is in neat bubble letters, Beth.

"Simple. I like it." Beth smiles and scratches Dog behind the ears. He all but melts to the floor causing Beth to laugh, the sound as clear and bright as the neon outside.

After a moment of this, she gives Dog one final pat and hops to her feet. "I got a fresh pot of coffee going for you and I'll get some water for this guy. There's a menu on the table."

Daryl slides into the booth and Dog stands beside him. He knows not to go far from Daryl in strange places but he's clearly been cooped up in the truck too long. Daryl scratches behind his ears and promises to give him some bacon as an apology.

Beth returns shortly with the beverages as promised and Daryl orders food he doesn't want but knows he should eat. There is music playing from an old jukebox in the corner, warbly Christmas carols. Beth is singing along softly as she wipes the already pristine counter. Daryl watches the rain falling outside letting her voice wash over and soothe him. She's got a nice voice, clear and sweet. It makes him think of church choirs though for the life of him he can't figure out why. He's never set a foot inside of a church. He's pretty sure he'd be expelled from one if he tried.

"Where are we?" Daryl asks when Beth drops off the food, giving Dog another scratch behind the ears. He notices that there is way too much bacon on the plate for the price he paid and raises his brows at it. Beh shrugs unapologetically.

"Senoia." At Daryl's still furrowed brow Beth tilts her head, her candy cane earrings swinging as she regards him curiously and clarifies. "Georgia."

Daryl's stomach clenches at the word. Georgia. The state he'd grown up in, the place he'd called home until five years prior when Merle's second armed robbery landed him over a decade in the clink. The place Daryl had watched shrink in his rearview mirror and sworn he would never come back to.

The place his heart must have decided it had missed if it took him all this way on instinct. He should have paid more attention to the road signs, it was a miracle they had arrived here in one piece.

Daryl nods his thanks and Beth gives him a curious look and Dog one more scratch before leaving him to his meal. Daryl picks at it, the eggs are watery and keep sliding off his fork.

Georgia, wow. His heart is really going for all-out heartbreak today. He shifts in his seat and slips Dog another piece of bacon. He eats it so fast Daryl is pretty sure he didn't even chew.

Well, he's here now, and it is almost Christmas. Daryl flips his phone open and looks at the date in the corner. December 23, well after midnight. He'll stay here as long as the waitress remains amiable and then crash in his truck for a few hours before driving out to the prison. He'll pay Merle a surprise Christmas visit and try to hide his obvious heartbreak. Merle has never liked Leah. He's never met her but he still made his opinion clear the few times they talked down the recorded prison line while Merle yelled at inmates he had more time and back off bastards. He hadn't liked the way she wanted to hide his baby brother away like a secret. Daryl hadn't bothered to tell him if he was in her shoes, he would have hidden himself as well.

Beth checks on him a few times, offering to heat up his food when it has clearly gone cold and he is still sitting there with a fork in his hand pretending to eat. Daryl shakes his head and decides to take that as his cue to leave even though she looks too sweet to ever kick anyone out for anything.

"I'm good. I'll take the check though."

Beth looks up from where she's rubbing Dog's tummy and waves her free hand through the air casually. "It's on me. You guys kept me from a boring night, the least I could do."

Daryl frowns at her but she rises her brows in response and he knows stubbornness when he sees it. Maybe she isn't as sweet as he thought. He mumbles his thanks but when he leaves he still leaves the cost of the bill plus tip on the table.

The visit with Merle goes about as well as can be expected. He grips about the prison and talks shit about Leah for almost the whole ninety minutes they're allotted. Daryl feels guilty about it at first but as it wears on Daryl almost starts to feel a little bit better about everything. It is nice to see Merle sober, even if it took him being behind bars to get to that point. Sober is sober Daryl supposes, doesn't really matter how he got there as long as he stays that way.

"Where you going next? Gonna stick around here, visit your big brother more?" Merle tries to pitch his voice to a sneer, to make the idea of Daryl visiting him more seem like a joke but Daryl knows his voice well enough by now to read past it. He wants Daryl to stay he'll just never admit to it.

"Got a job to finish up in Dallas. Building a mall. Got a week off for the holidays." Daryl works construction, bouncing from crew to crew through word of mouth whenever he gets bored being in one place too long which usually happens every eight or nine months. After spending so long in Georgia he's relishing getting to be away from it. Even now having been in the state for almost a full day his skin is itching and he wants to hop in his truck and speed away from here like the devil himself is on his heels.

When the ninety minutes are up that's exactly what he does.

As the months pass Daryl's heart heals, slowly and scarred but soon enough he is able to go almost a full day without thinking about Leah. He still has the plastic keychain with her name on it in his center console and every now and then he takes it out and holds it in his hand, trying to talk himself into throwing it away. He got as far as the trashcan once, but he caught it just before it fell into the mess of take-out wrappers and cigarette butts. He couldn't bear to part with the keychain, to just toss what they'd had into the garbage. No matter what it had meant to Leah, it had been real to him. It had meant something to Daryl, she had. He can't just throw that away.

His job in Texas ends and he moves on to a rig in North Dakota. The summer months pass in a blink of humidity and a tornado warning and before Daryl knows it, the holidays are staring him in the face again.

"You gonna come see me or what?" Merle asks as Daryl clutches the phone between his ear and shoulder and tries to unlock his door one-handed, a bag of groceries heavy in his other hand. He can hear Dog whining on the other side of the rented room and he hurries to unlock the door. Pets aren't allowed in the boarding house and he has made it this long keeping Dog undetected, he is leaving in a few days anyway he doesn't want to get rushed out.

"I don't know man." Daryl finally succeeds in getting the door open and quickly shuts it behind him trying to look reproachful at Dog but it's hard when he is so happy to see him his tail looks like a propeller.

"Right, too good now to see ole Merle."

Daryl drops the bag on the table and runs a hand over his face. Not the guilt trip again. "I'll try. I can't promise anything."

"I know I know." Merle is trying to put on a brave front but Daryl can hear the hope in his voice. Their monthly phone calls have recently turned into weekly. Daryl knows Merle isn't holding up nearly as well as he would like Daryl to believe. He knows that his brother is a lot of things, that he probably deserves to be where he is, but he also remembers growing up and Merle being the only ally in that damn house. It's that thought that has him digging up an old map from the truck and tracing the lines to Georgia.

He had decided to go to Georgia anyway but the landlord had heard Dog's whining and kicked them out so Daryl ends up leaving earlier than expected. He'll have to find somewhere to stay for a week once they get down there, he can't expect Dog to sleep in the car anymore, he is too big for that these days. Maybe he can even look for a job there once his next one in Tulsa finishes up. He doesn't have to be there until after the New Year, he can hang around, maybe visit Merle more than once. The prison isn't anywhere near where Daryl had grown up so thankfully it isn't that hard to pretend he's somewhere else. After traveling so much of the country Daryl is starting to realize that most small towns look the same. Maybe that's why he doesn't recognize the diner until he's opening the front door.

He'd stopped because of the bright lights and the grumble in his stomach but as he swings open the door and the bell tinkles above him Daryl remembers the place and the last time he'd been there. His heart clenches at the memory of his heartbreak but it is an old familiar pain, nothing like the fresh ripped from his chest feeling he'd had last time.

Once again for a moment, he doesn't think anyone else is there. Why is this place even open all night if it doesn't get customers? Before he can follow the thought too far the door to the kitchen swings open and Daryl rocks back on his heels. It's the pretty waitress from before, the same long blonde ponytail only now she has a little braid in it too. Same bright blue eyes that crinkle in the corner as she catches sight of him.

"Hi there!" her voice is chipper than Daryl remembers but he had forgotten the diner until just now so that isn't surprising. "Sit anywhere you like." she blinks at Daryl and tilts her head to the side as she recognizes him. "Do you have your dog with you?"

Daryl nods a bit startled that she remembers him. He has always thought of himself as a forgettable person. Maybe she just remembers Dog.

"Bring him in! Same booth as last time." she gestures vaguely to the booth by the door and turns back to the counter no doubt to make fresh coffee. Daryl finds himself glad he doesn't live close to this diner, with her bright smile and kindness he'd frequent the place all the time and he remembers how greasy the food had been. If he ate there all the time he'd have a heart attack by the time he turned forty.

"I never got your name last time," Beth says sitting a mug of coffee by Daryl's elbow once he is settled in with Dog in the booth. Dog whines until Beth scratches his ears, flipping at once onto the ground with his belly in the air. His affection is so easily bought.

"Daryl."

"I'm Beth." she gestures to her name tag and doesn't look up from Dog, "You might have realized that already."

Daryl nods but doesn't want to seem like he'd been creeping on her so he doesn't say anything else. She's brought him a menu too but Daryl doesn't need it. In places like this, he always orders the same thing.

"Pretty slow, it always like this?" Daryl gestures around the empty place as Beth shrugs.

"Near the holidays yeah. During football season we're packed at this time." a frown creases between her brows, "People round here usually see family on the holidays, they don't want to spend their time here."

"Where's your family?" the words slip out before Daryl can stop them and he feels his face flush. That was rude of him, he can feel it. He grew up in a family he doesn't want to share, he never brings up families if he can help it just in case someone else went through something similar to what he did. Beth is just easy to talk to and for a moment he forgot his own rule.

Thankfully Beth doesn't look offended by his question and the wrinkle smooths as she speaks, "My sister is in Atlanta, she'll come down on Christmas eve and spend a few days with me and our dad on the farm."

Daryl notices that she didn't mention a mom but he's pried enough. If she wants to tell him she'll tell him.

"You just passing through or you off to visit someone?" Beth turns her blue eyes onto him and for a moment Daryl thinks she might be blinking back a tear.

"My brother." Daryl swallows and it feels like glass in his throat as he adds, "He's in prison down here."

Beth nods but to Daryl's surprise, she doesn't ask him any more questions about Merle. The few times he's mentioned where his brother was the first thing people asked was either how long he had left to serve or what he'd done. A few people had even asked if Daryl himself had been in prison. After a while, Daryl just stopped telling people where his brother was. He should have known Beth would be different. There is just something about her.

After putting Dog into a trance with belly rubs Beth takes Daryl's order and he sits in a silence that feels louder than before now that she's gone. When she brings his food to him Daryl doesn't know what comes over him but he gestures to the empty side of the booth.

"Stay." he flushes, that sounded more like a demand than he'd meant. "If you want to," he adds hastily.

Beth hesitates and looks around the empty diner as if worried some other invisible customer might need her. Daryl swallows a hot mouthful of coffee and feels the back of his throat burn as he tries not to rescind his offer. After a moment Beth slides into the booth across from him sighing as the weight is lifted off her feet. His mom had waitressed for a bit and Daryl can still remember the way she kicked off her sneakers the moment she was in the door sighing in happiness as she sat down on the couch and lit a cigarette.

"Where are you from?" Beth asks pulling Daryl back to the present as she scratches Dog's ears as he shifts to put his head in her lap. Daryl offers him a strip of bacon and the traitor just looks at him, staying where he is.

"Never seen him turn down bacon before," Daryl grumbles although they can all tell his heart isn't in it. He wipes his greasy fingers on his napkin and answers her question, "Georgia down near the Flordia state line."

"You still live there?"

"Nah." Daryl shakes his head and marvels at his luck as he admits, "I'm all over the place these days."

"That must get lonely."

Daryl looks over at Beth in surprise, that isn't how he would put it. He has Dog and he has his weekly call with Merle. Why on earth would he be lonely?

"It's alright," he grunts and Beth seems to think she's crossed a line because she quickly changes the subject.

The night passes in a haze of so much coffee his leg is shaking and conversation with Beth who is so easy to talk to Daryl finds himself mentioning things he's never told anyone before. She keeps offering to get out of his hair and let him eat in peace until Daryl finally tells her if she wants to go she can and if he wants her to leave he'll tell her. After that, she stays in place and seems much happier about it. She gets up only twice, once to take his plates to the kitchen where the cook was having a heated phone call in Spanish and once to answer a phone call that turned out to be a wrong number.

Before Daryl knows it a car's headlights light up the diner as they drive to the back of the lot. Beth swears at the sight.

"That's the morning waitress. She can't see Dog in here." her eyes are wide and Dog seems to sense her fear. He lets out a short bark and Daryl pushes to his feet. Beth gestures him to the front door and they take off like a shot, Daryl opens the truck door and Dog jumps in with a whine as he watches Beth through the window.

Daryl moves to get in after him before he touches his wallet and swears. He hasn't paid yet.

Dog is safe in the truck for a few minutes. He goes back inside the diner the heat overly warm after the bitter cold outside. The new waitress smiles at him and grabs a menu just as Beth comes barrelling out of the back room.

"See you tomorrow!" she calls over her shoulder with a wave and her eyes grow wide at the sight of Daryl. He takes his wallet out and she shakes her head gesturing for him to go back out the door. The waitress watches them go with curiosity clear across her face. No doubt Beth will be questioned about all this later. As long as she doesn't suspect a dog was in the diner Daryl thinks it'll be alright.

They hesitate by his truck for a moment and Beth laughs clear and bright, slumping against the metal. "She'd fire me in a heartbeat if she saw a dog in there."

"That the owner?"

"Manager." Beth sighs and looks at his wallet still in his hand. "I took care of it like I said I would last time."

Daryl remembers the bills he'd left on the booth last year and he can't find it in himself to feel bad about paying her what he owed. He shrugs unapologetically and Beth laughs, the sound twinkling in the darkness. Daryl sneaks a peek at his watch. 5:30. The sun won't be up for hours still.

"Where's your car?" Daryl asks looking around the empty lot. He figures the least he can do is walk her to her car. The parking lot is icy and it makes him think of the slip and slide one of his neighbor's had growing up. He'd been so jealous of them he'd snuck over and used it once only it had been dry then. He still has a scar from the fall across his stomach. It's one of the few scars he has from childhood that doesn't make him sick to see. At least he deserved that one.

There are no other cars in the lot, maybe she parks in the back like the manager?

"In the shop," Beth says as she winds her scarf tighter around her neck before pointing at an old bicycle chained to the bike rack. "That's my ride these days."

Daryl frowns and shakes his head. There is no way in hell he is about to let anyone, let alone Beth, ride a bike in the dark on these icy roads. That is a tragedy waiting to happen.

"I'll give you a ride," Daryl says stuffing his hands in his pocket and focusing on Dog whose panting breaths are fogging up the truck windows.

"Oh you don't have to-"

"I want to. Consider it a thank you for the food."

Their eyes meet and for a moment it feels like they are in a staring contest, a battle of wills. Daryl doesn't know what else to say, he doesn't want her to think that he is creeping on her but he really isn't about to let her ride her bike in the dark. He doesn't need that on his conscience.

Thankfully Beth's common sense wins out as she scraps a sneaker across a patch of ice near her feet with a frown.

"Okay." she sighs and pulls her phone out of her pocket gesturing for him to move closer to his truck.

"What are you doing?" Daryl asks but he follows her directions. Next thing he knows he is blinking stars from Beth's camera flash out of his eyes.

"Texting your picture to my sister. In case I ended up ax murdered or missing they know where to look." Beth slips her phone back into her pocket and gives him a sheepish grin. She looks nervous he might be offended but honestly, Daryl only thinks it's clever. He isn't going to hurt her of course, so he knows he has nothing to worry about with the picture. A move like that might make some people think twice though.

"You usually take rides with strangers?" Daryl asks as he steps carefully around the ice patches to the bike rack. Beth's fingers fumble on her lock and he knows she is far colder than she's trying to let on.

"Actually you're my first." Is the flush in her cheeks from the cold or something more? Before Daryl can wonder too far Beth rushes on, "But Maggie, my sister, always drilled into me what to do if I had to accept a ride."

"What else she tell you to do?" Daryl asks curiously wheeling the bike around to the back of the truck and lifting it into the bed.

Beth grins at him before swinging up into the truck. "Better hope you don't find out."

Daryl snorts and by the time he gets into the car, Dog has made himself right at home in Beth's lap. He looks as happy as a dog could be and Beth doesn't seem to mind much as she wraps her arms around him and pulls him close. "He's like a little space heater."

Daryl grunts in response as he starts the truck. "It's nice now, not in July." Dog doesn't care if summer means heat, especially with Daryl's broken air conditioning. He still wants to sit like that and cuddle even as Daryl drips sweat.

"Such a good boy." Beth coos as the truck finally warms up. Daryl backs up carefully and lets Beth steer him towards her house.

The further they go the gladder he is that he insisted on giving her a ride home. He watches the pedometer on the truck count upwards five miles, six, they are approaching ten when she finally directs him down a farm road, the gate propped open as if waiting for her.

"You bike from here?"

"It's temporary."

"Nobody here can give you a lift?" Daryl asks in disbelief as he pulls to a stop in front of a farmhouse. It is clearly older but well-loved and cared for. Nothing looks out of place even if the paint is a little faded.

"The Sutton's horse gave birth last night. It was a rough one."

Daryl's brow furrows and Beth realizes he doesn't understand. "My dad used to be a vet. He just helps out the neighbors when they need him now. They helped us so much after..." Beth trails off and tugs nervously at her scarf. "Thanks for the ride. Can I give you some gas money?"

"This was a thank you for you buying me dinner remember?"

"Dinner? I'd thought it was breakfast." Beth pauses as Dog settles down to lay in her lap, curled up as best he can considering he is easily half her size. Beth meets Daryl's eyes across the cab and in the porch light he can see how they sparkle in amusement. "Are you going to tell him I have to get out or am I?"

Daryl reaches over to tap Dog's hind legs but he only turns his muzzle into Beth's stomach causing her to laugh.

"Sorry boy," she whispers as she manages to undo her seatbelt and open the door. Dog takes off like a shot through the open door. Daryl sighs as Beth looks over at him nervously.

"'S okay. Shoulda warned you." Daryl hops out of the truck and watches in amusement as Dog races around the wide yard. Beth is already struggling to get her bike out of the back. Daryl walks up behind her and lifts it out easily.

"Thanks again." a lock of hair has fallen out of her ponytail and Daryl has to clamp down the sudden inappropriate urge to reach up and tuck it behind her ear.

He figures that is his cue to leave and he sets the bike by Beth's porch and whistles for Dog.

Daryl has almost shut the truck door when he hears Beth call softly from her porch, "Merry Christmas Daryl."

The next year Daryl doesn't even pretend like he isn't going down to see Merle. It isn't as far of a drive this year, his last job was only in Indiana. He pulls into the diner parking lot on instinct and is surprised to find another car there. He pauses and stares through the glass, he is hungry but all at once, he decides that if Beth isn't in there he isn't going in either and it isn't just because Dog won't be allowed. Maybe her schedule has changed and she doesn't work nights anymore? He is a bit earlier than he usually is, it's only after midnight instead of two or three in the morning. It has been a year, maybe she doesn't even work there anymore?

Before he can go too far down this rabbit hole someone comes out of the kitchen and Daryl would know that ponytail anywhere, a fact that takes him by surprise. He cuts his headlights but it's too late, Beth has already looked in his direction, and turning off the headlights was a mistake. She can easily make him out now behind the wheel. She says something to her table and heads out the front door, Daryl's heart hammering in his throat as he watches her approach.

"Hey stranger," she says brightly as he rolls down the window. She reaches past him to scratch Dog's ears as he all but tries to climb out the window to get to her. "Passing through again?"

Daryl makes a noncommittal noise and gestures inside. There is another waitress in there talking to Beth's table. "Your tip's getting poached."

Beth doesn't even look back as she shrugs. "Nah, it's shift change. Magna can deal with them now. They've been here two hours."

Something in Daryl's chest leaps at the words which he doesn't understand. "Are you off for the night?"

"Technically it's morning," Beth's tone is as light as the sparks in her blue eyes as she tilts her head and grins at him, "Why? You worried they won't let you bring Dog in there cause you're right."

"No point going in then." Daryl shrugs meaning to leave it at that but more words fall out, "Food ain't that good."

Beth looks at him for a long moment before she shivers. Daryl feels like a jerk, she doesn't have her coat on and he is just talking to her from inside his warm truck.

"I'll be back in a minute. Wait for me?" Beth taps on the truck door and Daryl nods. His throat is dry and he coughs a few times as he watches her walk inside trying to clear it.

She is back within minutes, coat on and bag hanging by her side. For a moment Daryl thinks she might jump right into the passenger seat but she comes back to the driver's side. Daryl notices everyone in the dinner is watching them curiously. Apparently, Beth talking to strange men in trucks isn't a normal occurrence. The thought makes him both happy and nervous.

"Wanna go somewhere with me?" Beth asks as she slips a scarf around her neck. Daryl hesitates for a moment as he looks at her, blue eyes wide and innocent. What could a girl like this possibly want with a man like him?

"Where?" he asks fiddling with a loose thread on his flannel cuff.

Beth's smile only widens. "It's a surprise."

Daryl nods and unlocks the doors gesturing for her to get inside. She does so with a bounce in her step petting Dog happily as he climbs into her lap. Daryl backs out slowly noticing everyone inside staring at them still. "Where we going?" he asks again trying to distract himself from the looks. Beth gives him directions but still keeps quiet about their destination.

In the end, she doesn't need to tell Daryl where they're going he figures it out as soon as he turns down a street and feels like his retinas are going to burn.

There have to be millions of lights draped over the houses. It looks like the houses are having a contest to see who can have the highest electric bill in December. Beth directs him to park along the street and hops out, Dog following after her in an obedient way he rarely does with Daryl.

"It's best if you see it outside the car," Beth says coming around to open Daryl's door before he has the chance. "Then you can really look at it."

"Feels like I need sunglasses." Daryl jokes as he carefully shuts the door. It is one in the morning, he doesn't need anyone getting mad and calling the cops. Although he notices a sheriff's car in one of the driveways, the cops seem to already be here.

"The Grimes switched to LEDs this year. Bright isn't it?" Beth asks with a soft laugh as she gestures to the house with the cop car in front. Daryl blinks at all the Christmas lights and inflatable snowmen and cartoon characters lining the lawns.

The overabundance of Christmas cheer is making him a little sick although he can see why Beth loves it. It is bright and beautiful in a way, just like her.

Daryl shakes the thought away and shoves his hands deep into his pockets where they hit a familiar piece of well-worn plastic. Two years later and he is still carrying that piece of junk around. Touching it doesn't cause his heart to contract as painfully as it used to and as Daryl walks down the street with Beth he realizes how ridiculous it is to still be carting the damn thing around.

It's over. They're done. For once the thought doesn't hurt, it's like poking a fading bruise. He can remember the ache it used to cause but now it's just an echo. They walk past a trashcan near the curb and while Beth is distracted by the lights of an inflatable Ferris wheel Daryl inches the trach can lid up and slips the keychain inside as he should have done years ago. For a moment he panics and feels like he should open the lid and dig it back out but then Beth looks over her shoulder at him to check where he is and his heart settles and stops trying to claw its way up his chest. He shoves his hands back into his pockets and walks to her, leaving the keychain in the trash.

When December rolls around again Daryl is already on his way down to Georgia before Merle even brings it up. He finds himself pulling into the diner parking lot near three in the morning again although he didn't actually plan for it to be so late. At least, that's what he tries to tell Dog. Daryl doesn't think he believes him though. He doesn't blame the canine, Daryl doesn't believe himself either.

If Beth is surprised to see him she doesn't show it, just smiles at him in a way that makes his chest flutter funny and gestures for him and Dog to go into what he thinks of as their booth. How one can have a booth when they don't even live in the town Daryl doesn't know but something about Beth makes him feel like he is welcome here. Almost as if he has a home. The idea is past laughable. Daryl hasn't had a home in a long time, not since one went up in flames with his mother still inside.

"How've you been?" Beth asks passing him a mug of coffee Daryl knows she just made fresh for him. She has another mug in her hands and she hesitates for a moment before slipping into the booth across from him as Daryl waves his hand in that direction.

"Alright. You?"

"Can't complain." she shrugs in a way that makes Daryl think maybe she does have something to complain about but won't. He realizes with a jolt that he really doesn't know much about Beth at all, other than her name and her kindness and the fact that her smile is always on his mind.

"What else do you do besides work here?" Daryl blurts, curling his hands around the mug and letting the warmth seep into his numb fingers. The truck's heater gave out back in September. He's been in Arizona so it hadn't seemed like something worthy of fixing until he got further east and started to regret that choice.

"Are you asking if I go to school?" Beth asks and the slight downturn of her mouth tells Daryl that is not a question she enjoys getting. He is quick to shake his head no and some of the tension in Beth's shoulders seems to relax. "I help my dad with the farm. I'm going to take over running it in a few years when we finally convince him to retire."

Daryl remembers her farm only vaguely, a long dirt path and an old farmhouse looming out of the dark, old but well-loved. A barn in the distance. It had been dark and a few years ago, he doesn't remember much else.

"What do you grow?"

Beth's face lights up like the Christmas tree in the corner at the question and she spends the next several minutes regaling him with their crop production and the livestock, the farmer's markets she's started selling everything at.

"I'm trying to get our stuff into a few of the local markets but no takers so far. The diner has started using our eggs."

Daryl can't help the small smile on his face as she speaks, she's so animated and excited.

"What?" she asks catching the look he's giving her, a faint pink blooming across her cheeks.

He mumbles, "Nothing." and Beth's smile only grows.

"Don't, nothing," she mumbles back. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

Daryl taps his fingers on his mug and feels his ears heating up. He hopes she can't tell with his hair covering them. "Just nice is all. Seeing someone so excited about what they do."

Beth's smile widens, "I love the farm. It's home to me."

Daryl nods as if he actually knows what that feels like when the reality is the closest thing he feels to home these days is right here in this booth with her.

Georgia looks different in the summer, Daryl had forgotten about the blossoms on the trees and the green grass so bright it looks fake. He spends his first day there arguing with the prison guards to let him into the infirmary to see Merle whose big mouth had managed to catch himself a shiv to the kidney.

"It's fine little brother, I got two of them." Merle laughs when Daryl finally gets to see him, the laugh turning into a cough, and Daryl sees the blood on his palm as he pulls his hand away.

"The hell is wrong with you?" Daryl snaps barely resisting the urge to throw something at him. He had to fight like hell to get back here, he doesn't want to get kicked out. Plus, throwing a fit in a prison just seemed like a really bad idea.

"He was an asshole," Merle says with a casual wave of his hand. Daryl bites his tongue and curls his fingers into his palms.

"You're an asshole." Daryl reminds him, "And you've got less than two years left. You gonna fuck it all up now? You tryin' to get more time?"

"What, you miss me?" Merle's laughs quickly melts into a groan. "Counting down the days until I'm out Darylina? That why you so far away all the time?"

Daryl glares at him and nudges the foot of the bed with his boot. It's far from the kick Daryl wants to give but the lift in Merle's eyebrows tells him he got the message. "Guess I'll have to be closer then."

The diner parking lot is full when Daryl swings into it and he chews on his lip before patting Dog on the head to remind him to stay there. He cracks the windows and promises he'd just be a minute. He hates when people leave their animals in cars on hot days but he really would be a minute. He's already written the note out in the car on the back of an old gas receipt from Duluth. He is just going to leave it with a waitress to pass on to Beth and hope that she calls him as the message requests. He hates doing it but he has no other ties in Georgia anymore, he'd made sure he severed them all years ago. Merle is the only thing tying him to this state and right now he feels like a damn anchor. Daryl isn't going to let him fuck up and end up with another five or ten years added to his sentence. If that means he has to live nearby and visit him every single week so be it.

The waitresses are running all over the place but Daryl manages to catch an older woman's eye and she walks over to him with her hands full of water glasses.

"Counter's free, you can take a seat over there."

"I just wanted to leave a message," Daryl tries to get his face not to blush but can still feel heat creeping up his neck. "For Beth.

"Beth doesn't work here anymore." the woman frowns and Daryl feels his stomach bottom out. She had been such a fixture to his Georgia trips he hadn't even considered the possibility.

The woman, Carol her name tag reads, studies him for a moment pointedly ignoring the waving hands of the table waiting for the waters. "Are you Daryl?"

Daryl rocks back on his heels in surprise, Beth had told people about him? He nods quickly and Carol gives him a curt nod. "Put the note on the counter, I'll pass it on."

He does as he was told, offering her his thanks before slipping out the door for the first time since he'd been there, feeling worse than when he had come in.

Daryl thinks that will be the end of it, that he will never hear from Beth again. The thought fills him with dread and all morning he wanders around town looking for help-wanted signs in windows and finally caving and buying a newspaper to look through the classifieds. There isn't much there and Daryl sighs, realizing most people place job ads online these days. His crappy old phone doesn't access the internet, he'll have to go to the library. Maybe they'll let him use the computers without a library card if he tells them he's using the computers to look for a place to live.

Just as he is parking at the library and wondering whether or not he can sneak Dog inside his phone rings. The sound is so out of place that it takes Daryl a moment to realize what it is. He fumbles the phone from his pocket and nearly drops it, Dog barking at the noise the whole time.

"Hello?"

He doesn't recognize the number on the screen but Daryl tries to keep his hopes down, it's probably a telemarketer or a spam call. Or Merle.

But the voice that comes through the speakers isn't a collect call notice or a robot. It's familiar, high, and sweet. "Daryl? It's Beth, I got your note."

They decide it's best to meet at her farm, Daryl doesn't want to leave Dog in the car anywhere and Beth doesn't want to talk too long on the phone. She sounds stressed, tenser than Daryl is used to.

The farmhouse is pretty in the daylight and either it's Daryl's imagination or things are growing a little wild. That doesn't make any sense with how proud Beth had spoken of the farm last time they'd talked. Especially since she doesn't work at the diner anymore and should have more time on her hands to look after the farm. Something must have happened, none of this is adding up.

Beth is sitting on the steps when Daryl pulls up and he swallows hard as she stands to wave at him. She is wearing shorts and a t-shirt, her hair in a ponytail like always. Daryl has never seen her out of her uniform before and the sight of her bare legs is hard to look away from.

He shakes his head at himself as he opens the door and Dog jumps over his lap to run at Beth, all but knocking her over when he reaches her. Daryl forces himself not to look away from her face as he walks over. He isn't here to creep on Beth, he is here for her help. She'd told him once she'd lived in this town her whole life. She'll likely have the connections Daryl so desperately needs to find a place to work and live. He meant what he said to Merle, he wasn't going to let him backslide so close to the end of his time. If him being closer could stop that he'd do it.

"Hey." Daryl shoves his hands in his pockets and looks down at Beth who is kneeling beside Dog and letting him slobber all over her.

"Hey." the smile she gives him seems dimmer than usual. Daryl shifts uneasily and looks around. Is she going to tell him what happened or is he going to have to ask? Neither option sounds appealing.

"Your note said you were looking for work. You thinking of moving here?" Beth asks standing up and wiping dirt off her knees.

Daryl nods and Beth tilts her head to the side curiously. "Why?"

He considers not answering or lying but Daryl has never lied to Beth before. She is easy to talk to and something tells him that anything he tells her will stay between them. His words are safe with her. Besides, he'd told her long ago where Merle was.

"My brother got in a fight. I'm worried he's gonna get more time. Wanna be closer. See him more." It feels weird to say so much personal stuff at once and Daryl has to resist the urge to get in the truck and drive away to avoid the feeling of Beth's eyes on him.

"Think that'll help?"

"Can't hurt." at least he doesn't think so. One never really knew with Merle.

Beth looks at him for a long moment and gives a short nod. Daryl watches her curiously as she wraps her arms around herself and surveys him closely. "You said you worked construction, odd kind of jobs. Ever work on a farm?"

Daryl's stomach lurches, is she offering what he thinks she is? No, best not to get his hopes up. "No, but I learn fast."

Beth nods again and bites her lip. She blinks rapidly and Daryl has a horrible feeling she's fighting back tears. "Daddy had a heart attack in February."

Shit, she is fighting off tears. Daryl opens his mouth not sure of what to say and is grateful when Beth keeps talking. "He's okay now but he has to take it easy, he can't work as he used to. Maggie's in her last year of grad school and she can't help out much. I had a farmhand for a while but he quit last month. Said the pay wasn't good enough."

"Asshole." Daryl cuts in before he can help himself. It wasn't like he hadn't been told the payment upfront.

Beth gives him a small smile and drops her arms from around herself to pet Dog again who is sitting on her feet. He never could handle seeing anyone upset without trying to climb on top of them as if that was all it took to heal them.

Beth kneels down to wrap her arms around Dog and Daryl is suddenly glad of his tendency to become a pillow at the first sign of upset. Beth looks better already with him to hold onto. "To be fair the pay isn't great but it also includes room and board."

She is looking at him closely, her eyes guarded in a way Daryl hasn't seen from her before. He knows what she's saying, what she's offering without fully offering. One of them is going to have to say it. Daryl figures it might as well be him.

"When can I start?"

Working on the farm is tough work but also easier because Beth is often by his side. Hershel is a good man and while Beth refuses to let him work (and Maggie who comes down a few weekends a month is downright scary when Hersel so much as moves a chair) he likes to sit and tell Daryl stories while he works when he isn't giving him directions or correcting what he's doing. He corrects Beth too so Daryl doesn't take it personally. They share a look when Hershel goes on about the way he would do things and it's like a private joke just for the two of them. They seem to have a lot of those these days.

He sees Merle twice a week and at first, his brother gripes and complains about how he doesn't need a babysitter but Daryl notices a lack of bruises and cuts as the months wear on and he knows his presence is better for Merle than he will ever admit.

Before he knows it the days are short and he is doing half his work in the dark, his breath foggy in the headlight he wears to illuminate the path from the house to the barn.

Late one afternoon they need a new piece of equipment that's for sale the town over. Daryl offers to drive and they leave Dog with Hershel who seems to like the company no matter how much he had complained about the animal when Daryl first started.

Even though Daryl has been working with Beth for months now this is the first time the two of them are truly alone, and in tight quarters no less. Daryl finds himself shifting nervously and he keeps apologizing for the broken heater. He still hadn't gotten it fixed. Sometimes he feels like he's supposed to be uncomfortable so he never fixes things that would cause his life to be easier.

"It's fine Daryl, really." Beth insists, turning the radio up louder. At least that still works. She finds a station with old seventies hits and starts singing along, her voice as soft and sweet as ever. Daryl would happily listen to no one else sing but her for the rest of his life. Her voice is his favorite song, no matter what she's singing.

The piece they're buying is from another farm and the Suttons are old friends of Beth. What was supposed to be a quick trip ends in them staying for dinner after Beth calls Hershel to make sure he's okay. It's a nice change to have food with actual flavor to it. All the food at the Greene farm is bland and tasteless, Beth and him are eating Hershel's new diet in solidarity. Daryl doesn't mind it really, Lord knows he has eaten far worse than plain rice and chicken in his life. Honestly, he's healthier now than he has ever been, a fact that seems to make Merle frown every time he sees him.

By the time they leave, it's dark out and the main road is packed with traffic of folks going home from work for the day. Beth frowns and bites her lip before directing Daryl down a side road he wouldn't have even noticed if she hadn't pointed it out. "It'll be faster." her voice is funny, tight even though she has just spent the last few hours laughing and playing with the Suttons' grandson. Daryl can't shake the image of Beth with a baby from his mind and it's doing weird things to his chest.

He follows her instructions driving slowly down the road. It's dark, no lights but his headlights cutting through the blackness and showing the trees lining the road. Beth taps her fingers nervously on the door frame and whispers for him to go slowly.

"You alright?" he asks as he inches the truck along at a crawl. It isn't like there is anyone behind him to piss off with their lack of speed.

"Fine."

"Don't seem fine," Daryl whispers before he can stop himself, and he tenses as he waits for Beth to snap at him. That was normally when Leah would go off on him, tell him to stop trying to police her feelings.

Beth doesn't say anything, she just takes slow and measured breaths and Daryl watches the road rather than her because he feels like if she catches him looking at her when he should be driving she'll freak out. The road is barely wide enough to be considered a road. He hopes no one is driving down it the other way because there is nowhere for him to pull over. One of them would have to drive backward out of here. Is this even faster? He is barely going twenty miles an hour because every time he speeds up faster than that Beth flinches in the corner of his eye.

He slowly turns a sharp bend in the road and Beth sucks in a breath beside him so loud Daryl slams on the brakes peering through the windshield for the danger she's obviously spotted. For a moment he sees nothing out of place and then he notices the two crosses sitting back on the side of the road, wildflowers overgrown among the markers.

Beth doesn't look surprised to see the gravemarkers and she slips out the door before Daryl can really figure out what's going on. She kneels between the crosses and Daryl takes a deep breath before following her outside, shutting his door as carefully as he can and even that sounds like a gunshot in the peacefulness this deep in the woods.

Daryl hesitates beside Beth not wanting to intrude. He isn't an idiot he can tell that whoever these crosses deaths' are marking they were people that were important to her. If she wants to tell him she will and if not Daryl isn't going to pry.

Eventually, Beth stands up and when she looks over at Daryl he is surprised to see that her eyes are dry. He'd thought she had been crying. The backs of their hands bump and without thinking Daryl slips his fingers through hers, squeezing her hand gently as she takes a deep breath.

"My mom." she whispers pointing to one cross and then the other, "My older brother Shawn."

She doesn't need to say anymore, Daryl has already been filled in on most of the story. He's seen their pictures on the fridge door, in the hallways, on the mantle. They've been gone nearly eight years and there are still so many pieces of them scattered around the farmhouse it looks like they're expected home any day now. Hershel had filled him in his second week about the car accident, the back road, and the deer that came out of nowhere one icy winter night. Daryl looks down at the road beneath his truck but of course, the skids the car left are long gone by now, eroded away with time.

Daryl waits for Beth to keep speaking but she doesn't say anything, just takes short measured breaths and looks at the crosses as if they are speaking to her. Hell, maybe they are. Daryl doesn't want to interrupt but he wants to let her know he understands her pain, at least a little bit.

"I ever tell you about my mom?" Daryl asks even though he already knows the answer is no. He never tells anyone. At Beth's shake of her head, Daryl draws a deep breath and finds himself telling the story he always promises is the last time he'll tell it. The bikes, the cigarette, the firetruck. The body bag.

Beth doesn't let go of his hand the whole time he's speaking and when he's done he somehow feels better for it. She squeezes his hand gently and neither of them speaks for a long time. When they finally leave Beth blows two kisses to the markers and Daryl opens the door for her, letting go of her hand at the last second, wanting to hold on for as long as possible. The drive back to the farm is quiet but somehow the most peaceful drive he's ever taken.

After seeing the site of the accident it is like some switch has flipped between them. While they have always been good at talking to each other (he is pretty sure Beth doesn't know it but she gets him to speak in longer sentences than anyone else he's ever known) now it feels like no topic is off-limits. They have already seen some of the worst the other has to offer so what are a few more bad things? Daryl doesn't judge her when she shows him the scar on her wrist and Beth doesn't flinch when he tells her about the ones down his back.

Beth is quickly becoming his best friend which isn't a hard title to hold considering how he has no other friends. Still, of all the friendships he has ever had this is easily his favorite. The only problem is Daryl himself, which he supposes is both usual and expected. His heart races whenever he looks at Beth and he finds himself looking at her more and more as the days go on. Sometimes he finds it hard to get any work done he is so busy staring at her. If she notices, she is too good to say anything.

Daryl isn't sure what to do, he has never been good at feelings and he is even worse at relationships. His track record of broken hearts certainly proves that. The last thing Daryl ever wants to do is break Beth's heart and she is so sweet the only way she could break his is when she inevitably tells him she doesn't have those same feelings for him. She'll break his heart gently and probably end up feeling worse about the whole thing than he does. No, Daryl isn't about to put either of them through that.

He'll keep his feelings to himself and put his head down and work. Merle gets out in a little over a year and after that Daryl and him will split town and what? Daryl has never really let himself imagine life after Merle gets out of prison. At first, it was because it had seemed so far away there was no point wondering about a future so distant, Daryl hadn't been sure back then both of them would survive long enough to see it. Now though Merle seems to be doing better, hell he was even studying to take his GED which is something Daryl had never thought he'd see. The drive to do that was at least something Daryl understood, he knew where it came from.

Beth had asked to visit Merle with him and to Daryl's surprise, Merle had actually agreed to put her on his visitor's list. "Taking your girl to meet the family?" he faked a sniffle down the line and Daryl sighed and held the phone a little ways from his ear while Merle spent the next five minutes giving him shit. Daryl repeatedly told him Beth wasn't his girlfriend but Merle's only reaction was to laugh and say, "Keep telling yourself that little brother."

Daryl had expected the worst from the visit even if Beth didn't seem put off by the security checkpoints to get inside the visiting room. She sat across from Merle and they eyed each other without trying to seem like they were sizing each other up.

"So, you're the one who got my baby brother a job." Merle looks Beth up and down and Daryl's fingers curl into his palms. He'd seen Merle check out and leer at enough women to know that wasn't what he was doing but Daryl still doesn't like the look on his face.

"And a place to stay," Beth adds when it became clear no one else is going to say anything. Daryl tenses, worried that Merle will take those as fighting words, an insult that he hasn't been able to take care of and provide for Daryl (which how could he? He hadn't been around most of Daryl's childhood, had only swung back into his life at their father's funeral whisking Daryl off into a life of hotwiring cars and how to coach someone through withdrawals).

His heart is beating painfully loud in his chest and familiar frown lines are appearing between Merle's eyebrows when Beth smiles and it's like the sun has shone through the dusty gray walls. The effect can even be seen on Merle whose shoulders relax as he slumps back in his seat.

"Yeah, that too." he waves his hand as if having a roof over your head isn't important. Daryl has spent enough years with him on the road to know that actually is his stance. "Let's get real now Blondie." he leans forward and beckons for Beth to do the same. Daryl frowns and leans forward as well, stopping only when Merle puts his hand on his face and pushes Daryl back into his chair, the guards crying out 'No touching!'. A refrain Daryl has heard a hundred plus times in this room but never directed at his table.

Merle whispers something to Beth and Daryl holds his knee down to keep his foot from tapping. He waits for Beth to slap him or look disgusted or really a hundred different reactions than the one she gives.

She pulls back from Merle in surprise, a faint pink on her cheeks, and pointedly looks anywhere but Daryl. She mumbles something to Merle that sounds suspiciously like, "Not yet."

Daryl doesn't understand the context but Merle certainly does for he laughs long and loud for several minutes causing the nearby tables to glare at them and a guard to walk closer. They were usually only the loudest table when they were fighting, no one seems to know what to do with this change of pace.

"Alright Hannah Montanna," Merle tilts his chair back onto two legs and surveys Beth with crossed arms. She mimics his posture and raises her brows at him. "I guess you can keep visiting. More entertaining than this guy."

Beth joins him once a week on his trips and after only two visits she'd somehow not only got Merle to start studying for his GED but also two of his friends and one of the guys who had overheard their conversation in the visiting room. They bring her practice tests during visiting hours that she grades while Daryl tells Merle about the farm. He seems more curious about it than he has anything in Daryl's life before. When he remarks on this to Beth after they leave the special extra visiting hours on Thanksgiving (which he still couldn't believe Beth had agreed to go to with him. She's been cooking for two days now but she didn't seem to mind at all when she left her sister in charge of making sure the farm didn't burn down while they were gone) Beth only looks over at him with her brow furrowed.

"That's my fault," she admits, chewing on her lip as she slips onto the truck's bench seat. Daryl closes himself into the small space, wishing as he usually did that it was both bigger so he could be further away from her and her intoxicating smell and closer so she'd be right beside him. "I offered him a job once he got out."

She said the words in such a rush Daryl blinks and has to repeat them slowly in his head three times for them to sink in.

A job. Beth has offered Merle a job at the farm.

Daryl's stomach sinks at the thought. He doesn't mind the idea of Merle working at the farm even if he hates the idea of sharing his time with Beth with anyone. Hell, he's jealous that Maggie is joining them on the chores while she's home for the holiday. Even if watching her fiance try to milk a cow is the funniest thing Daryl has ever seen.

Merle hasn't held a job longer than five months in his life with the expectation of drug dealer and Daryl really hopes he left that bit off when he told Beth his resume. When the hell had she even offered him a job? Daryl is always there. She must have left Merle her number, the thought of them talking without him makes Daryl feel slightly queasy, thinking about all the things Merle could have tell her.

"Are you mad at me?"

Daryl looks over at her in surprise, Beth is chewing on her lower lip nervously, looking more unsure than he has ever seen her. Daryl jumps as he realizes he hasn't even started the truck yet and their breath is fogging up the glass. The truck kicks to life with its familiar wheezing jolt. He is going to have to use some of the money he's been saving and finally fix it up if it keeps sounding like this.

"Not mad," he admits, trying to think of how best to explain this to Beth. "Merle's got a bad record when it comes to jobs."

"He told me," Beth says and Daryl nods. Wonders never ceased it seemed.

"He's done some bad shit."

Beth levels him with a look that makes Daryl's ears flush. They're currently sitting in a prison parking lot, it's pretty obvious Merle has made some bad choices in life.

Daryl swallows hard and curls his fingers around the wheel. He isn't mad that she offered Merle a job, in fact, he's thrilled. Merle will need work to keep himself from going back to what he's done before. Even once he gets his GED there aren't a lot of places willing to hire ex-cons, especially those with multiple arrests. Beth is saving Daryl from a worry he hasn't even begun to deal with. It's just, he had thought that his job at the farm was temporary. That once Merle got out she would expect him to go. Besides, will she even need both of them?

"You replacing me?" Daryl whispers and winces, that hadn't been what he meant to say. The thought had barely even occurred to him, he hadn't meant to voice it aloud.

"Of course not." Beth rushes to assure him, reaching over to rest her hand on his arm. Daryl wishes he didn't have a jacket on, a thought he'd certainly never had before in winter. "I would like you to stay on, have both of you work."

Daryl nods slowly, "There enough work for all three of us?"

"I thought I could start trying to get our products in stores again, get back to the farmer's markets." Beth scoots closer on the seat and Daryl curls his fingers tighter to the wheel so he doesn't do something stupid like put his arm around her. "Are you mad at me?"

His eyes flicker over to hers and Beth is watching him wearily, still chewing on her lower lip. Daryl wants to reach over and trace it with his thumb, or better yet kiss her. She's offering him a gift and she thinks he's mad about it? He's overwhelmed. Daryl can't remember the last person who had done so much for him and he's pretty sure it's because they didn't exist. If he believed in fairytales he might have once thought Beth was the princess but he's beginning to realize that she's actually the fairy godmother. Although does that make him Cinderella in this situation? He certainly isn't looking for a prince. Were there any fairytales where the fairy godmother ended up with the one she helped? Maybe this analogy isn't as good as Daryl had first thought.

"I ain't mad at you," Daryl admits, pulling himself out of his thoughts. He's just trying to distract himself from his feelings, and worse talking about them. With all of his self-control, he lifts his hand from the wheel and places it on hers where it still rests on his arm. Her fingers are chilly under his and Daryl makes a silent promise that she will never be cold around him again. He can't offer her much, but he can keep her safe and warm. That much at least, he can do. "I could never be mad at you."

Truer words he has never spoken and judging by the dazzling smile Beth gives him, she can hear the truth of them in his voice. Now if only he could tell her other true things, like how he is pretty sure he is in love with her. He can never tell her now, not when it would wreck things for him and Merle both. The feelings will just have to die off on their own. Someone will come and win her heart. Someone else. Someone worthy. All Daryl has to do is keep his mouth shut and his heart in control and wait for it to happen. She is such a lovely person he's surprised it hasn't already.

Although he thinks as he backs out of the space and Beth lingers her hand on his arm for as long as possible, he doesn't mind that it hasn't.

Daryl isn't surprised to learn that Christmas is Beth's favorite time of year. He had met her around Christmas, he still remembers the candy cane earrings she was wearing. They spend an entire day putting lights on the house and stringing more lights down the fence line of the drive. Another day decorating the porch and the inside of the house. Beth is so excited about all of it Daryl is able to keep any worries about the power bill to himself. She seems to be full of cheer with each passing day and when she tells Daryl they are going to throw a Christmas party he isn't surprised, nervous yes. Surprised, not so much.

The party rolls around a week before Christmas and Beth is a total ball of energy, bouncing around the house and making enough food to feed a small army. Daryl figures he'd be better off being out of her way and he sequesters himself in the barn with the animals. There is even a wreath hung on the barn door and it isn't like anyone else sees it but them. Honestly, Daryl is surprised the wreath is still there, he had thought that an animal would have taken a chunk out of it by now. Even the farm animals seem to know how much Beth loves Christmas and they don't mess with any of the decorations which amuses Daryl to no end. Thus was the power of Beth Greene.

Beth and Hershel are worried about the party but Daryl has a much more pressing worry in mind. What on earth is he going to get Beth for Christmas? The last gift he had given to someone blew up in his face spectacularly and then ended up in the trash a few years later. He really does not want a repeat performance. He considers asking Hershel for advice but as much as the man seems to like him Daryl doubts he would be happy to help Daryl make a move on his precious daughter.

He is still running ideas through his mind as he showers and changes and then Beth is passing him a tray of food to stick toothpicks in. If Daryl presses them in a little sharply no one else seems to notice. Maggie and Glenn have arrived and everyone is too busy fawning over the sonogram picture to be aware of anything else.

"Want any help?" Glenn asks coming to stand by Daryl who is at the back of the kitchen. He already offered the happy couple his congratulations. He isn't family, he doesn't see why he has to join the conversation and watch Beth's eyes sparkle with tears of joy. He wonders if she dreams of having a family one day and who she dreams of having it with. Certainly not him.

The party is exactly as Daryl had imagined it would be; loud, crowded, and more raucous as the night and the drinks wear on. Daryl is still on his first drink, he knows how much of a dick he can be when he's drunk and this party is exactly the kind of situation that would turn him into an asshole. An even bigger asshole than usual as Merle would say as if he had any room to talk.

The crowd of people has just burst into the second chorus of 'Jingle Bell Rock' when Daryl decides he can take it no longer. He leaves his half-full drink on the counter and slips out onto the back porch. The air is cold and his breath billows out like a steam cloud as he leans gratefully against the porch railing, staring out onto the farm, dark except for the bright multicolored Christmas lights glistening down the fenceline.

A soft shuffling sound draws his attention and Daryl looks over his shoulder to realize he isn't alone. He bites the inside of his cheek to keep back a profanity he desperately wants to say. His companion is a teenage girl who is definitely too young to be drinking the beer she is trying to tuck under her seat.

Daryl levels her with a look and holds out a hand. Teenagers get into trouble, he knows he sure as hell did, but that doesn't mean he has to help support it when it's happening on Beth's farm on a night she's looked forward to for so long. The girl glares at him and looks like she is going to down the bottle rather than give it to him but then she sighs and passes it over. Daryl dumps it out over the railing into the bushes.

"That can't be good for the plants." the girl whispers.

"Then it ain't good for you either." Daryl sits the empty bottle down beside him and crosses his arms, keeping his back to the girl. If she goes back in and sneaks more alcohol that is her and her parents' problem. He's done his part for the night.

The girl snorts and he hears a rustling. For a moment he thinks she has gone but the door doesn't open so he chances a look over his shoulder and she's still there, curled into a ball on the chair.

"Where's your jacket?" Daryl raises his brows as he looks at her. Was she one of those kids who thought being warm made her look uncool so she just walked around in her shirtsleeves?

The girl shrugs and wraps her arms tighter around her knees. Daryl frowns as he surveys her more closely. Her jeans have holes in both the knees and one of her shoes is held together by duct tape. Her hair is long and greasy, falling into her face. She's mostly in the shadows but now that he's really looking at her Daryl can see the faint ghost of a bruise down her cheekbone.

His blood freezes the longer he looks at her and she shifts uncomfortably. Daryl realizes she's about to bolt.

"You eat yet?"

The girl hesitates before she shakes her head no and Daryl scoops up the empty bottle, pointing at her with it. "I'll get you some food. Wait here."

She nods and Daryl walks inside as casually as he can. He taps the first person he recognizes on the shoulder. Carol turns towards him with a smile and gestures to the dreadlocked man beside her.

"Daryl! Have you met my husband Ezekiel?"

Daryl nods hello to him before leaning closer to the couple. "Can you get Beth for me? Tell her to bring some blankets to the porch and quickly. Please."

Their eyebrows raise curiously but they nod and turn to go. Carol places an arm on Ezekiel's arm when he opens his mouth, looking like he is going to call out to the whole room. That is the last thing Daryl needs, the man looks like he can project and he has no doubt his voice would reach outside. Daryl piles as much food as he can onto a plate and snags a water bottle on his way outside. To his immense relief, the girl hasn't fled yet although she has moved to sit on the porch steps.

"Here." he passes off the food to her and she takes it with eyes wide. Daryl's suspicions are confirmed as her sleeves ride up and he sees a dark line of a bruise on her wrist. Marks like that only come from a switch, he would know he'd received plenty of them.

The door opens behind them and light from the house spills out onto the porch, illuminating the girl as she tries to fit as much food in her mouth as possible.

"Slow down or you'll get sick," Daryl tells her waiting until she nods to turn to see Beth looking between them curiously. The girl tenses and curls over her food as if Beth has come to take it away from her.

"You look cold. Here." Beth smiles brightly as she drapes a blanket over the girl's shoulders as if she often found runaways on her porch. She does have a penchant for taking in stray animals and nursing them back to health. Daryl supposes it isn't that surprising she's willing to do it for humans too.

"I'm Beth. What's your name?" Beth carefully sits down so she is on the opposite side of the porch steps from the girl but still close enough that they're at equal eye level. A sharp tug on his pants leg causes Daryl to sit down beside her.

The girl swallows hard and looks between the two of them, mumbling into her plate. "Lydia."

"Nice to meet you, Lydia."

Beth watches her curiously and Daryl can tell the moment she pieces it all together. It's obvious after a close look that the girl is a runaway. She had probably seen the lights from the road and all the cars down the drive and figured she would be able to sneak into the party unnoticed. She had come through the kitchen and grabbed the beer to test if anyone would see her, was waiting until they got drunker, and had eaten before sneaking in to steal as much food as she could carry. And not the party food either, she would go for the cupboards and grab bread and cans, dried goods, and things that would last. Maybe grab a plate of the party food on the way out if there was time. At least, that was how Daryl used to do it. Half of the groceries growing up came from what he pilfered at Christmas parties. The other half was from the Fourth of July.

None of them speak as Lydia finishes her food. Beth shivers once and Daryl realizes she hadn't even put on a jacket before coming out here. He slips off his flannel and passes it to her. She takes it with wide eyes and when he gestures for her to put it on she does so slowly and with a whispered thanks. Daryl tries to ignore the way his throat goes dry at the sight of her in his clothes.

Eventually, Lydia finishes her food, blinking sleepily as Beth takes the plate from her with a smile. "Do you want to come inside?"

The girl hesitates, clearly wary of strangers. Daryl wonders if he should leave. The girl doesn't seem violent so Beth isn't likely in any danger and she might feel safer talking to a woman without him there. To his surprise, it doesn't come to that and the girl nods and gets to her feet. Beth leads her through the house going straight upstairs and ignoring the curious looks the partygoers are giving her. Maggie watches her go, opening her mouth to call out to her when she catches Daryl's eye. He gives a quick shake of his head and to his surprise Maggie shuts her mouth with a snap, looking at him curiously.

Beth doesn't come down again for another hour, by that point, most of the guests have left and Maggie has grilled him for forty-five minutes about who the girl is.

"Oh good, you're still here." Beth smiles when she gets downstairs and for a moment Daryl's heart leaps thinking she's talking to him. Instead, she stops by a bearded graying man Daryl had met earlier that evening. The sheriff. Well, he hadn't expected this. Had Lydia turned violent after all?

Daryl surveys Beth as he approaches where she stands with Rick. She doesn't seem hurt and she keeps talking as Daryl stands next to her even though Rick gives him a weird look.

"Can you come by in the morning? She's been on her own for a few weeks now and she still has bruises. I need you to file a report so she doesn't have to go back."

Daryl wants to shake himself. He had been sure when he saw Beth talking to Rick that she wanted him to get Lydia to leave, to kick her out. Of course, she would never do that. She is the gentlest person he has ever met. If she could save someone, she would. He should have known that was what she was doing. She'd done it for him after all.

After Rick agrees and Beth's family is told about their new houseguest the party wound down pretty quickly. Eventually, it is just Beth and him clearing up, Daryl scooping plates into the trash while Beth collects the recycling.

"It's good of you to help her." Daryl finds himself whispering as they drop everything in the cans outside. She's still wearing his flannel and it drapes down over her hands.

"You helped her too." Beth reminds him nudging his shoulder with her own. "I wouldn't have even known she was out here."

"That was the point," Daryl says before he can stop himself. Beth looks at him curiously and he sighs, rubbing the back of his neck. He hadn't planned on telling her this but she is looking at him so openly he can't stop. He finds himself regaling her with the parties he'd stolen from in his own childhood. When he's done he looks at her warily but Beth has no judgment in her eyes. She nearly smiles before stepping closer and leaning up to press a soft kiss against his cheek. Daryl closes his eyes and breathes in deep the soft peach smell of her hair. His cheek tingles where her lips had been and he has to curl his hand into his pocket to stop himself from reaching up and pressing his hand to his face like a goof.

"What was that for?" he asks, his voice low and gruff.

Beth smiles, she has barely stepped away from him. Daryl wonders what she would do if he leaned down and kissed her fully on the mouth. He used to think that she would push him away and run off screaming, or at the very least laugh, but maybe he had been wrong. She had just had her lips on him and she doesn't look disgusted at all.

"You're a good man Daryl Dixon," she whispers, tugging on the too-long sleeves of his flannel.

"Wasn't always," he reminds her, reaching out to straighten the collar of his shirt where it has tucked itself up under her chin. She smiles and leans against his hand pinning it between her soft cheek and sharp collarbone. Daryl gulps and finds himself unable to look away from the brightness of her eyes. Sometimes he thinks Beth is a little bit like a lighthouse. He lived for years in the dark, thinking he was worthless, that he deserved what he was going through and then he had met Beth, and a path he had once thought too treachours to cross became clear. She had shown him a way he had never thought was meant for him. She was giving him glimpses of a life he had never dared to dream of.

"Beth," he whispers trying to put all he feels into that one word. Thank you, for showing him life doesn't have to be bleak, for teaching him not everyone in the world saw him in the dark ways he saw himself. For giving him a place to live, to feel free. Mostly the thing he is trying to fit into the four letters of her name is really eight letters, three words. They're on the tip of his tongue when Beth's smile stretches a little wider.

"Are you going to kiss me or not Daryl?"

Well, even he can't read that sign wrong.

Her lips are soft under his and as they kiss everything fades away until Daryl is only aware of two things, Beth tastes like peppermints and it's starting to snow.

It takes several months of court cases and paperwork, more surprise home visits than Daryl thinks necessary considering what her old home had been like, but by the time summer rolls around Lydia would never again have to return to her abusive mother. Which would be difficult anyway seeing as how she is currently facing nine years in prison, thankfully one across the state although Lydia seems to have no inclination to visit her even if she was close. Instead, Lydia will live on the Greene farm with Beth and Daryl as her foster parents.

Merle will not let up on Daryl being a father as he likes to call him. Lydia doesn't call him dad and Daryl doesn't expect her to but Merle still laughs himself sick after hearing about how Beth and him pretty much adopted a teenager before they had even kissed. Daryl probably shouldn't have told him that part but he had been so excited about kissing Beth it slipped out and Merle was smart enough to piece together the timeline.

Daryl doesn't ask Lydia to visit Merle with them but two months after the paperwork clears and nine weeks before Merle gets out she asks to come with. Daryl expects it to be the most awkward ninety minutes of his life but in the end, the guards have to tell their table to be quiet three times and not because of shouting like was normal in that room but because of laughter.

Daryl had been worried that as he got closer to getting out Merle would panic and do something stupid to get himself more time, he was a big believer in the devil you know after all, but seeing his face as they left that day Daryl finds he isn't so afraid anymore. They have already offered him a job on the farm and Merle has seen what's waiting for him when he gets out. He doesn't have to be afraid, he wouldn't be alone out there. Daryl knows how tough and aloof Dixons try to be but the truth is they needed people. Now Merle can see he has people to come home to.

Daryl feels like he has never had so many people so involved in his life even if he added up everyone he had never known up to that point. The waitresses at the diner where Beth used to work even know their orders, they have them placed by the time they're sitting in the booth. Beth likes to joke that if they ever wanted to change things up they had better call the diner ahead of time. Magna who works the nightshift now, even lets Dog come in and he sits by their feet as the three of them sit in their booth, Beth and Daryl on one side and Lydia on the other. Daryl had thought all teenagers were snarky but when Beth tells her about how this booth was where she had first fallen in love with Daryl Lydia seems as invested in the story as Daryl is. He had never realized until that moment that Beth had fallen for him first. That night they fall asleep curled around each other and Daryl marvels at how he can possibly have gotten so lucky. Sometimes when he wakes up he has to check to make sure Beth is still there and that he didn't actually dream her up.

When Merle gets out the Christmas lights sparkle at them the whole drive home. Daryl was going to pick him up by himself but Merle had asked him to bring along the girls. The four of them wouldn't all fit in Daryl's truck so they're in Beth's old Toyota which Daryl drives despite Lydia's constant offering.

"Never should have taught you to drive." Daryl gripes although everyone knows he's joking. He hadn't spent two hours with her at the DMV to get her learner's permit for nothing after all.

"Where are your lights?" Merle asks as they turn down the road to the farm, McDonald's wrappers crinkling under his feet as he shifts. He still holds a milkshake in his hand and none of them point out it's far too cold for ice cream. The man hadn't had ice cream in a decade none of them are going to judge him for it.

"Every other damn house we passed looked like they wanted a spot in Vegas and y'all are dark? Always knew you were a Scrooge little brother but I thought Cindy Lou Who back there'd change that."

Daryl pulls to a stop in front of the farmhouse as Merle keeps ranting. Finally, after exchanging amused looks with the girls in the backseat, Daryl turns to his brother. "You done?"

Merle sighs and sips his milkshake which makes sucking noises telling them all it's empty. Daryl ignores the disappointed look on his face and thumps his brother on the shoulder, "We waited to decorate with you asshole."

Daryl can't remember ever decorating or really even celebrating a holiday with his brother. It's a different experience and Daryl is surprised by how much he enjoys it. Maggie and Glenn come up from Atlanta for the weekend, baby Hershel cooing at all the lights even though he is way too young to understand anything that's happening. Which is good because prison had done nothing to help Merle's love of profanity.

They spend the day decorating and with so many people helping what had once taken Beth and him days only takes a few hours. It's satisfying when dark comes and they plug in the lights, the house lighting up like a beacon.

"You can see this shit from space." Merle crows throwing his hands in the air in the middle of the lawn causing Dog to bark and the rest of them to laugh.

As they sit around the table that evening Daryl looks at each of them in turn wondering how on earth he had gotten here. He had spent so much of his life thinking that he had no family, not even the brother currently sitting across from him Merle had been so lost to drugs at the time. Daryl hadn't had a family or a home and now he is sitting around the table in the warmest place he gets to call home with a big group of people, all of whom he considers family. His eyes meet Beth's across the table and he knows that he owes it all to her. He wouldn't be there without her, in more ways than one.

Daryl reaches his hands casually into his coat pocket and his fingers curl around the sharp edges of the box hidden inside. He has been carrying it around for two weeks now, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. He knows it is a story Beth will retell forever, he wants to give her a good one.

The ring is simple, a yellow gold solitaire that had once belonged to Beth's mother. Hershel gave it to him after Daryl had asked for his blessing. He felt weird about asking, knowing it was old-fashioned and outdated but he thought Beth would have wanted him to. Besides, Daryl still feels like he isn't good enough for Beth (he's beginning to accept that he will always feel that way no matter what anyone says) but hearing Hershel say he couldn't wait for him to marry his daughter helped that feeling lessen a bit.

Daryl doesn't have a speech planned or really know what he is going to say. He has always been a man of few words and Beth knows that. She wouldn't expect some soliloquy about how she saved him, how she taught him what love is, how she makes him want to be a better person. All of those things are true and all of them are things that she already knows.

That evening after everyone else has gone to bed and they are coming back in from locking the barn Daryl stops her at the edge of the porch steps where they first kissed. The ground is icy and cold and he can feel snow seeping into the knee of his jeans as he holds up the ring and asks the only five words that matter, "Beth will you marry me?"

Maybe it isn't that romantic, it isn't some elaborate gesture or a grand affair. It is short, simple, hopefully sweet. Just like their relationship. Just like her answer.

"Yes."

They go to the diner that evening, back where they first met. Beth curls against his side in the booth, staring at the way the lights reflect on her ring as Daryl presses a kiss to her hair. Daryl had come here that night so long ago to find some respite, a break from his broken heart. At that moment he couldn't be more grateful for all the heartbreaks and pain he'd ever had because each one of them had led him right here. To this woman, to this moment.

Daryl had never thought he deserved such happiness, had never let himself dream he could have it. Now that he found it he will never let it go.

"What are you thinking about?" Beth asks softly, reaching up to trace his cheekbone. Daryl leans into her hand, "You." he presses a kiss to her palm, "Always you."

Beth smiles and leans closer to kiss him. Daryl can feel her smile against his lips, it is one of his favorite smiles of hers. Hell, they are all his favorite smiles if they're coming from her.