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“Shiina-san, are you okay?”
Shidou walks in to find Mahiru curled up in a ball in the corner of the room. A rare sight from the usually cheerful woman. Mahiru looks up at him.
“Oh, me? Mahiru is fine,” she says, smiling weakly.
“If there’s anything hurting, you can come to me; I am a doctor after all.”
“It’s nothing like that, Shidou. It’s just…” she pauses for a moment. “I’ve been thinking about the past, I guess.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes, and the dreams I’ve been having since my song trial make me think that maybe, I might’ve been a bad person after all. That I could have been wrong about everything.” She fidgets with her hands and her eyes dart around the room.
“I see.” Shidou makes his way over and sits down next to her. “If you don’t mind, perhaps I can somehow advise you. At the very least, having someone who will listen can often ease your burdens.”
In truth he does not feel very confident about it and whether or not it would help at all, but he had advised countless patients before and this wouldn’t be any different. The only differentiating thing about it was that they were in a prison and not his office. Mahiru nods and she takes another moment to find her words.
“The people in my dreams kept telling me I was wrong. My actions and my way of thinking… I didn’t mean to hurt him. I didn’t think it would end like that,” she said. The quietness of the room reverberates her words, amplifying her confession as if she was in a courtroom being judged. Shidou nods, encouraging her to continue. Mahiru purses her lips. “I knew from the moment I saw him that he was the one. I liked him a lot. I learned how to cook, clean, everything that could help with impressing him. I wanted to be the perfect woman for him. But it ended up like this and now he’s gone. I just don’t know what to do anymore.” Despite the reticent tone in her words, her voice didn’t falter.
“If I may add on with my own thoughts, I think you’re thinking too much about the idea of love.” Shidou said, in his usual calm voice. “Rather, there’s love to be had in a lot of beautiful and simple things. It’s good you’re expanding your thinking, it means you’re growing and reflecting on what you think might be mistakes. What matters is what you decide to do moving forward,” he concluded.
“I haven’t thought about that,” she said. Mahiru stares at the empty space in front of her as she asks, “What about you, Shidou? Is there someone you love like that?”
“Well, there was someone I cared for deeply once. I did everything I could to save her and I ended up hurting a lot of people. I was desperate. Time did not favour us. I would sacrifice everything for her and I was willing to do so. But in the end, nothing changed and I only had myself to blame. Thinking back on it, I would’ve done things differently but it’s too late and that’s why I’d like the death penalty. I can’t move on like you, my sins are too heavy to carry,” he said, with his usual calm expression.
“That’s extreme,” Mahiru said. “It sounds like you need to be cheered up more than me.”
“It seems I’ve managed to reverse our situations. I apologise.”
“No, you don’t have to say sorry,” Mahiru said, shaking her head. There’s a short silence that follows before she looks him in the eye and smiles softly.
“Thank you, Shidou. You’re very calm, but it helps a lot. Mahiru can smile again because of you,” she said, returning to her usual bubbliness.
“I’m very glad. Besides Kajiyama and Amane, Mikoto seemed unlike his usual self as well so I was worried the group’s morale would drop.” He stands up and holds out a hand for Mahiru. “And I was most concerned with you.”
She takes his hand and stands up with a bounce. “It’s okay now. You know, I can help too if there are any problems bothering you,” she said, assuredly.
Shidou chuckled. “Thank you. Your kindness even towards someone like me is appreciated. It’s nearly time for dinner, should we head there together?”
In an unknown prison full of intertwined strangers, even the simplest words had the most profound impact.