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Oliver couldn't believe it.
Not thirty minutes ago his dentist had looked him square in the eye and lectured him about proper oral hygiene habits. She'd included dire warnings, and ominous looking photos and x-rays of dental ne'er do wells who hadn't listened and ended up with all of their teeth pulled or some terrible fate; like no one loving them...ever.
It rankled his pride that he, Oliver Queen, of all people, was receiving this lecture. But it was hard to argue with science.
Though he'd tried...
When Dr. Evanns showed him the minuscule dark spot on the back of his eye tooth he assured her that she was mistaken. When she pointed to the time stamp at the bottom of the x-ray, he proclaimed that it was simply impossible! When she crossed her arms and reminded him that she was his personal dentist and had been for the past 16 years, he resorted to grandstanding about how it followed that there was some sort of mistake with the machine because his smile was perfect and had been his entire life. He came out of the womb with a perfect smile.
He had the baby pictures to prove it.
Finally, three x-rays, and a lot of huffing and puffing later, Oliver sulked out of her office holding the demeaning little dental goodie bag explaining proper oral hygiene. Sliding into his car he threw the bag onto the passenger seat. The contents came spilling out. Inside was floss, sugar free candy, and a cheery pamphlet with a molar tooth smiling and holding hands with a tooth brush. He scowled. He wanted to punch the tooth in the face.
It had failed this city.
Pulling into traffic Oliver tried to be reasonable. While he could be conceited and had successfully made a career path out of vanity in his formal life, there was another reason the flaw in his visage irritated him so.
His teeth were the only things, out of five years of training, torture, Waller, Russia, Hong Kong, the island, and wherever else he'd been, that had escaped somehow unscathed. He was covered from his crown to his heel with tattoos, scars, dead tissue, bite marks, and terrors he'd rather not remember. But his teeth! His teeth and his smile remained unchanged. To obtain a cavity here, at home, in the city he'd dedicated his life to protecting, felt like a betrayal of the cruelest kind.
He signaled for a turn and parked in Verdant's parking lot. Maybe it was the water. Maybe some evil do-er had messed with Starling City's fluoride levels and this mysterious mafioso was planning on holding the city hostage until his unreasonable demands had been met. Oliver grunted as he locked the doors behind himself. In his head he envisioned a dentist gone bad...Floss Man, or something like that...
He'd ask Felicity to look into it.
Jogging downstairs into their lair, not that it was a lair, he spied his team hard at work at their respective stations. Diggle was perfecting the weaponry, Roy and Laurel were training, and Felicity, his heart leaped, Felicity was watching him from behind her computers. She raised her eyebrows at him in acknowledgment before returning to her complex coding.
It almost made him want to smile. Almost.
Stalking towards the salmon ladder, he passed by each station, nodding at the corresponding team member. A cavity? Oliver couldn't quite wrap his mind around it. It was obsessive he knew, but he was obsessive. He just couldn't understand, how after decades of proper hygiene, regular-minus five years- dental visits, and an aversion to sweets due to his body building, he could have gotten a cavity!
Just as he was about to begin the first rung, Diggle walked past with a jar in his hand, munching away. Feeling Oliver's eyes boring into his skull he swallowed and generously, held out the jar of brightly colored sweets,
"Jellybean? Felicity gave me some of hers, and Roy lost his when he lost our sparring match so I have extra..."
Oliver made a sound of disgust and stormed away. From here on out no candy. He'd find some other way build team morale...maybe protein bars...or kale chips.
Diggle shrugged, "Was it something I said?" The man had more mood swings than a child's jungle gym. Grabbing another handful of jellybeans John strolled over to watch Roy vs. Laurel round three. Crunching down, he winced, and grabbed his jaw.
Maybe it was time to go see his dentist...