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Christmas.
A holiday filled with red, green and white, ornaments and tinsels that wrap around your tree and lace up your smile to be golden bright, matching the star on the top.
The season that doesn’t fail to bring a burden of happiness to your door, where you see the wreath wrapped in jingle bells and pine scents. Spirit is spread with haste around your town, where children giggle in hopes to see Santa, and parents chuckle on the side— knowing very well that the hope that sparks is worth every myth and fable.
When you mistakenly walk through the door, and above your head hangs a mistletoe, rejoicing lovers with a kiss, one that enlightens a new feeling every single time and brings you back to when you were young, when everything was a mystery, when everything was a fairytale.
Christmas tends to do that to you, tends to remind you of all forsaken memories and endless nights when you slept with peace, strawberry and ice cream dotting the air outside your window. Snow and snowmen. Children who giggle a little bit too loudly when they fall into the snow angel’s mark created minutes ago. Staining cookies into your nose when you pass a bakery filled with sweets that are just a little bit too sweet.
Walking past the fake Santa jingling his bell at 1 in the morning when you get stuck late closing down your store. The repetitive Christmas songs blasting on your radio as you take your boyfriend’s car to pick up dinner for your annoying relatives that promised to arrive later that afternoon, when all knows that they would probably get stuck in holiday traffic that repeats the same every new year.
When your hand starts to hurt from writing too many Christmas cards to all of your family members that you rarely talk to anymore. The carolers at your door who sing the same songs you hear every morning, and make no difference to change it, at least a little bit? The same decorations, the same music, the same god annoying children that pretend Christmas is amazing when their whole family is arguing in the house just behind them—
It was nearly impossible to not feel like a scrooge.
Especially if you were George.
He didn’t hate Christmas. He didn’t hate the idea of it, the cheer, the theme, the smells. It was all pretty nice, really. It was a nice change of pace in contrast to his boring year, which contained a schedule so slow that anyone would be glad of Christmas coming around to make a difference.
But it was always so stressful.
There was so much to do, so much to work on and complete. So many to please and if you forgot anyone, there would be coal in your stocking and a distasteful smile greeting you at your door when your relatives finally arrive.
George was a victim of this poor holiday, or perhaps just picked on every year to give him the world’s bad luck when it came to Christmas spirit.
Christmas is great for sales, they know this, because working in a bakery is especially harder when winter comes around. George is happy their business begins to thrive around that time, but it also makes him more busy and less excited to wake up on a work day— whether it was in Sapnap’s arms or not.
And Sapnap was pretty much the only person to make George feel sane during this time of year. The only one who made it feel worth decorating his shop, baking Christmas themed sugar cookies and coming home to a red and green covered house when Sapnap was bound to be there.
If there’s any way he’s going to survive this year, and all the years to come, it will be because of Sapnap.
And there’s nothing more thrilling than the feeling of Sapnap pulling him out of the backdoor, grip tight around pale fingers that squeeze back as he’s being rushed out of the building, giggling and scoffing at the amount of force Sapnap uses.
Perhaps it’s just a demonstration of his desperation.
The stomp of boots echo as they squish against the crunchy snow beneath their feet until George is lightly shoved against the back wall, breathless when Sapnap smirks with heavy hands pushing George’s own over his head.
You can see the gust of breath escape George’s mouth as he huffs in an annoyed laugh, the cold air stolen when Sapnap’s warmth replaces it. And then there’s a litter of kisses being placed along his cheekbone, hasty and sleek.
This isn’t the first time Sapnap has snuck off to kiss up George, lonely and wanting usually half-way through the day— sometimes even earlier. It’s not the first time George has no control over it, and most of the time he never does, pulled under the snow and allowing his love to take whatever he wants.
And honestly, he loves it so much.
“This—” George giggles as a kiss is placed under his jaw, mints being continuously dotted along the skin as he tilts his chin up, “—is a really bad idea.”
Sapnap’s smirk is evidently pressed into his cheek as he kisses once, twice, then moves to his ear and brushes his nose along the lobe. George shivers.
“I’m known for bad ideas honey,” the brunet teases as he sloppily kisses the spot below George’s ear.
George rolls his eyes at the snark comment and forces his hands out of Sapnap’s grip so they move to rest on Sapnap’s waist, putting them in his coat pockets to draw him in. He holds back a snicker in retort, settling instead for a coy smile as he pecks Sapnap’s lips with tease.
Snow tenderly falls into George’s hair from above, dotting his fluffy chestnut with winter flakes as they bury into the softness. It’s cold and warm all at the same time, a confusing feeling, but pleasant nonetheless.
Sapnap was the best at giving love like this, whether it was discrete or public, devouring him with physical touch that pressed right into his chest where his heart beats. He knows exactly what George wants.
Especially at times like these when George was the most grateful. When their bakery filled to the brim with customers ordering pies to cheesecakes, jam spread and candied toppings for their outrageous Christmas parties. It was always packed by the time December rolled around, so much that it kept Sapnap and George busy for ages and Sapnap rarely had the chance to sneak George outside for a quick little bit of fun.
So George made times like these worth it, fists snug in Sapnap’s coat pockets as he yanked him closer, kissing his lips with a passion that screams with longing. Their breaths mix with candy cane reminisce, battery teeth colliding and vanilla flavored gums compelling, and everything Christmas fogs up George's brain every time they giggle onto each other. He tries to ignore it. Because kissing Sapnap is kissing Sapnap.
When they gasp for breath, the frosty warmth of Sapnap's softly exhaling onto his lips, Sapnap grins enviously. "God it's packed in there," he sighs with dramatic exhaustion. "I could barely breathe with all those customers."
George nods against his forehead in agreement. "Yeah," he turns slightly to imagine it, before turning back and drawing his lips together. The thought makes his stomach hurt. "And I still can barely breathe with you kissing me like a maniac."
Sapnap huffs and rolls his eyes, bumping their knees. "I stole your breath like way earlier than that, dummy."
"Oh shut up," George teases with a pinch to his side, through the fabric so it aids no effect to the brunet who ogles dumbly at him. "But seriously, we need to up our staff or something, cause I feel like I'm always on the clock," his lips are twisted with a coal shaded frown as he stares down at the floor. "I miss when we could kiss any time of day, and not just— like, at lunch. Let alone even speak to each other," he stumbles on his words a bit, and looks up expectantly at the brunet.
He wears an empathetic smile as his fingers knead his hips, comfort drilling into his body by the soft touch. George leans into him. "I know it's rough, I'm trying—"
"I know—"
"—but see how popular we are? We're selling so much baby, I promise it'll be worth it," Sapnap leans in before George can protest, attracting their lips together for a sweet, sugared kiss that leaks a little too much festivity for George's liking. But a kiss is a kiss, when it's Sapnap, of course.
George ignores his head again, opting to not dispute the idea any further as he kisses Sapnap again, further and deeper with desperation as he whines into his mouth. The taller chuckles and holds the boy's waist a little firmer, eventually leading to George submissively holding back as he's pushed into the wall with ease.
He wishes they were at home, by the fireplace, flaring flames of heat that cools down the winter spirit rising among them. He wishes that Sapnap's lips didn't remind him of cranberries and popcorn, or sizzling cider, but instead coffee routine he remembers all the time. But he can't help it. Their lunch clock ticks in his head like loud church bells.
A snowstorm of lust traps them against the wall as they kiss, kiss and kiss, George reaching for their familiar, deep purple glacé but in the end, only coming out with an aching red and green tang that George can’t help but despise.
With frustration, he pulls off with a groan, practically collapsing onto Sapnap’s body. He feels stupid and stupidly annoyed.
The taller brunet furrows his eyebrows, urging him forward again with a gentle hand. “What’s wrong?”
The smaller rolls his eyes and even when filled with dusk, his orbs still swirl with shine. “Even when I’m kissing you it tastes like Christmas,” he complains.
Sapnap’s lips twist into a confused grin. “What’s wrong with Christmas?” His voice is saccharine sweet, only making George want to kiss him more, even though he knows it’ll remind him of holiday disappointment. He really shouldn’t feel like this.
“It’s everywhere,” George answers dreadfully, “It’s everywhere all the time, and you’re only here, like, half the time now because of it. I see more snowmen on the streets than my own person.”
Sapnap only pouts kindly at him. “But Christmas is so cheesy and fun, and I know we’re apart more than usual but it only makes these sessions more exciting,” the boy wiggles his eyebrows as he leans in again and George scoffs with an annoyed giggle.
“Yeah, ‘cause you’re like the cheesiest person alive,” George retorts as Sapnap kisses him again, shorter than usual as he pulls back to admire rosy cheeks and snow-defined features. Even then, with eyes admiring him, it feels new. Like he had just met Sapnap, the spotlight remains and he hesitantly slides underneath it.
George removes his hands from Sapnap’s pockets and he slides them up to Sapnap’s face, cradling his jaw and thumbing at his plump cheeks.
“I miss you, and I just want Christmas season to be over already,” he admits, moving his hands to pull Sapnap in from his neck, the brunet blindly following. They kiss again, slower.
Sapnap smirks into it, then frowns when they detach. “Just for Valentine’s Day to circle around next year?”
Another groan falls dramatically from George’s lips as he knocks his head back and winces at the light concrete contact. “Don’t remind me.”
Sapnap belly-laughs as he pulls George away from the wall and hugs him, warm arms wrapping around his waist as he sets his chin on the boy’s shoulder. “I can’t wait to smother you all the time when love day comes around."
“Smother me now,” George mumbles into his neck as he burrows into the body surrounding him, feeling the shake of it as he laughs. And for now, he lets it happen. Trying not to feel overwhelmed by what’s to come, because Sapnap’s trying his best, George is trying his best, and there’s not much they can do. Christmas is a burden, George thinks, so he keeps it that way in hopes there will be none left when they conquer it.
Sapnap is okay with Christmas.
He doesn't hate it, because ever since he was a kid, he was surrounded by family and friends that made the holiday feel magical. He was promised every year the joy to wake up and run down to the Christmas tree, heart pounding in his ears at the sight of presents tucked under the tree as his dogs barked to see him giddy.
But if he's being completely honest, he feels slightly disappointed this year.
Perhaps it's what comes with being an adult; you don't have family to expect gifts from anymore. You don't have that giggly feeling strumming in your stomach every morning thinking, Santa has come! Santa came last night, here's the evidence right here, right here on this ceramic plate dotted with leftover cookie crumbs!
Not anymore, because he's an adult that also works at a bakery, where sales boom for 30 days straight, no breaks and no breathing. He loves the job, but the workload is terrifying. Even Sapnap the workaholic can admit that.
But that doesn't stop Sapnap from enjoying Christmas for the holiday that it is. The holiday where he can wake up in a cookie-scented, air freshened room surrounded by warm blankets that protect him from the chilly air of his bedroom. The holiday of decoration and happiness, and the holiday of love. Friendship love, relationship love, family love.
In this case, George love.
The only thing, or person, motivating Sapnap this year is George, a boy who makes him feel like Christmas is better than his own birthday. Christmas with George is hot cacao late at night by the fire and the jingle of horse carriages riding by their neighborhood in the cold afternoon. Christmas with George is crewnecks and sweatshirts, ones that are weaved to shape George's body in the cutest manner possible that makes Sapnap want to cuddle him until they're two souls in one.
And maybe that Christmas hasn't really happened yet, Sapnap wants to believe that it will and he'll keep that belief stuffed in his chest until there's no more Christmas love to give.
And he's certain he'll never run out.
There’s a click of the car locking, and two doors shutting almost in sync, both George and Sapnap getting out of their shared car with a relieved expression sitting on their faces.
Sapnap smiles as the tickle of snow falls on his face, misty and cold in the air. Their house is lightly dressed in white frosting, grass covered with alabaster ice and the sky is the lightest blue of the year. Winter is plastered bright and big around them, tempted to please with its shiny reminisce.
As the two of them observe their familiar home, there’s a thick layer of snow covering the concrete in front of the door, and George immediately cringes at the struggle to walk through it.
However, Sapnap appears beside him, grabbing his hand and helping him to the door. His grip is strong as he helps him, not bothering to stare at George as he pushes past him, easy to help with no complaint at all. He’s always been a gentleman.
“Thank you,” George chides politely, blushing when Sapnap kisses the back of his hand as he unlocks the front door.
“Of course,” and he pushes the door open, shoving his boots off and yanking George in with him.
Stumbling on leftover snow, George accidentally trips into the other’s body with a surprised “oomph." Strong hands catch his forearms, one arm wrapping around his waist and chuckling as he helps George to his full height. The warm room develops both of them, and George sighs into the newer, warmer grasping on his body.
“Clumsy,” Sapnap mumbles teasingly, smirk beaming so bright George almost lets a scoff escape his lips. Instead he rolls his eyes, deadpanning him with a smile as Sapnap leans in.
Their lips connect for a moment, an endearing softness swarming the touch. George forgets about the open door, and completely submits himself to the short kiss, which is stolen too quickly when Sapnap is pulls away and deems not enough for George to feel satisfied.
Sapnap kisses his cheek once, smiling against the skin and then backing away to close the door, shutting off any leftover cold breeze from sneakily escaping into their house.
George pouts where he stands, but turning away so his boyfriend can’t catch it, and moving further into their home as he shucks off his coat. Sticky mist slides off the cotton as the coat falls off his arms, and lands onto their carpet, a simple reminder that winter is here to stay.
The silence surrounding them is flaccid, relaxed and normal. George is also heavily relieved he can be in the comfort of his own home for the weekend.
And before George can complain about the mess on the floor, Sapnap shoves himself into view, with something green, a plant perhaps, dangling above their heads. George has never felt more relieved to see a mistletoe.
Sapnap’s smiling deviously, fingers perched above their heads with the leaf pinched between his index finger and thumb, his arm sliding around to wrap around George’s waist again. George gasps at the smooth contact, pulling him into a close hold with his boyfriend again.
“You—” George murmurs, looking between the object and Sapnap’s excited face. “You are such an idiot.”
Sapnap tips his head forward, lips falling ever so closer, the mistletoe losing its place as his focus leaves the effort to hold it. “My arm is starting to hurt Georgie...”
George falls quickly, lost in his charm, drawn in by the taunt, the trick, the tease that Sapnap holds above his head. A time like this would be usually considered silly and dumb, but thank god George loves kissing his boyfriend.
Then he moves closer, brushing their lips to give him the chance to take it. And he does, Sapnap finalizes the contact as he snaps faster than George, licking the brunet’s lips apart and kissing him slowly, arm drawing him in tighter with the kindest smile pressing onto his lips.
The smaller hums into it, giggling as Sapnap pushes with a little force to hold him off balance. The mistletoe falls from Sapnap’s fingers so he settles for both of his arms holding George as he steals every sense of negativity floating around the boy’s head.
They kiss for a while, soft hands holding in softer places, sweet powdered love being kissed all around their mouths until their lips glisten a bright pink from being bitten with jolly. It feels good to take some warmth to feed George’s selfishness after being kept up all day with chores.
George pulls away, content and already forgetting about the world falling apart around him.
“What do you want for dinner?” He wonders, smile pleased and eyes buzzed.
Sapnap tuts, arms going limp around George’s waist as he creates distance between their hips, looking to the side at their kitchen.
“Cookies?”
“No.”
The taller laughs wholeheartedly, head tilting back and unleashing himself, stumbling into the kitchen. “I’m kidding love,” he chuckles, “we should have like, meatballs or something.'' The touch is pulled away and he’s cold again, granting George with a familiar feeling of lost comfort. If he could cuddle Sapnap for hours, he would not deny that opportunity.
George sighs heavily as he approaches the kitchen where Sapnap is looking around, George leaning forward against the bar with his elbows propped on the marble counter. Sapnap catches his disappointed expression and faces him across the counter, smirk teasing but carrying a subtle amount of concern about his features.
“I’ll make it so you don’t have to.” He offers, tone free of malice, tilting his head with genuinity piercing through his eyes but it still makes George feel guilty.
Sapnap turns around to get out a pot, preparing the kitchen and George frowns.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, ruffling a hand through his hair with prominent exhaustion shown by his tired movements. “It’s been a long day. Do you want me to do something?”
Sapnap hums disapprovingly. "Just sit there and look pretty,” he says, turning to George with an innocent smile strapped to his face like always. George can’t say he’s surprised.
A wave of flush cowers over the smaller, rolling his eyes and leaning up by his elbow where it presses into the joint. He's dotted in cranberry red, flustered at the seems, and overall he's just worried. But the sourness in his gut, risen from exhaustion, sits there like acid, waiting waiting and waiting.
A healthy silence eases over them as Sapnap begins to cook, George taps on his phone, comforted by the gentle sounds of pots and knives clinking in front of him. The domesticity of their togetherness floats around the room, familiar and warm. George wishes Christmas could feel like this all the time, except without the dim expectations and exhaustion simmering in their bones.
After a bit, dinner is ready, and Sapnap carries their plates to the circular table they have sitting in the middle of the room in between the kitchen and the living room. George mumbles a short and sweet 'thank you' and then they eat in peace.
Sapnap takes a couple of bites before a question eats slowly at his skin.
"After dinner do you wanna sit by the fire and have some hot chocolate?"
George's face screws uncomfortably as the suggestion leaves the brunet's mouth. Sapnap watches him with confusion.
"I— um," George murmurs hesitantly, jabbing lightly at a stray piece of meat, "I'm honestly kinda tired tonight," he finishes off with his sentence floating off awkwardly, as he sticks some food in his mouth.
Sapnap's frown is visible across the way, but he was never one to be sad, so it quickly shifts into a softer grin.
"You've never had trouble falling asleep in my arms though," he adds, a twinge of sorrow laced in his tone as he crosses his legs under the table. He's so soft it hurts.
The thought of hot chocolate sounds really nice, especially wrapped up all sweetly on the carpet as they sit by the fire, hand in hand like the things couples do. But George does not have it in him to sit on the floor and stay awake any longer, even if he's keen to falling asleep in Sapnap's warmth. It just doesn't sound very comfortable in his current state.
"I-I'd rather sleep in a bed tonight, I think," George says as he clears his throat.
"Are you sure?" Sapnap adds, just to make sure.
George nods weakly, "Yeah," he whispers, a very silent apology strung to his lips. His face feels pale denying Sapnap like this, but he knows if he agreed, he would feel cranky the rest of the night when all he wants to do is lie in bed and fall into a deep sleep surrounded by cushion.
After a couple more bites, George gets up from the table with his plate and walks over to the sink, washing it off and putting it in the dishwasher. When he walks by the table, he bends over by Sapnap's ear and kisses him short on the cheek, lingering only for a second longer before walking down the hall to their bedroom.
George hears nothing after that, and continues to get ready for bed while Sapnap finishes up.
It takes less than an hour for George to be completely ready for bed, dressed in sweatpants and one of Sapnap's hoodies as he snuggles deep into the blankets on their bed, then leaning over and grabbing his phone to plug it into the charger. It lays still in his hands for a moment before he decides to politely scroll on twitter as he waits for Sapnap. He wonders why its taking so long for him to finish up eating, especially since he wasn't so far behind when George was done.
Moments later, the door creaks open and George glances up to the taller standing at the doorframe, carrying something small in his hand as he pushes through. When he walks further into the room, it becomes obvious he's carrying a mug of steaming chocolate, two of them actually, and he walks over to his side of the bed and puts one on the coffee table.
"Sap..." George whispers as the boy slips into the bed, smiling as he sticks a hand out, the hot mug in hand. George gulps as he takes it, looking up at him with glimmering pupils and innocent, fluttering eyelashes, telling him everything that can't exactly be said
Heart beating out of his chest, Sapnap wraps his arms around the smaller's waist with the kindest smile, "Just— just drink it angel," he warmly tugs him in, and George leans into his hold, cradling the mug as he takes a sip.
It's perfect temperature, and he relaxes deep into Sapnap's arms with a grateful expression eased onto his skin.
His eyelids droop heavier, the blankets weighed perfectly over them, and he takes another couple sips before placing the mug away and presses his face into Sapnap's chest as he lays down completely and faces sideways into Sapnap's shoulder.
"I love you," George mumbles, voice growing huskier as a hazy mindspace grows over him. His warm breath gently scathes over Sapnap's skin.
Sapnap's arms tighten and he tangles their legs together, completely understanding, because that's just how he is. Another reason to fall more deeply in love.
"Love you more, angel."
George didn't sleep well, last night.
It's truthfully obvious by the way he sulks around work and lazily serves customers, dark circles hiding under his eyelids and hair standing up behind his neck at every waking moment. He doesn't try hard, even though it's another day filled to the brim with chatty people ordering this and that. He couldn't bother to, not when his cheeks were red-hot and his body was too sore to move around too much.
He spends most of his time in the back, making desserts while Sapnap bounces around with a welcoming smile that George has no idea how he can wear so much. It's almost sickening, but in all the ways it makes George feel sweet.
Lunch rolls around, thankfully, and George takes it with will as he heads to the breakroom and sits down with a heavy sigh. His body weight sinks into the wooden chair, uncomfortable but he'll live with it. He's grateful for anything at this point.
His limbs feel heavy, weak to the bone as he leans over and pulls out his lunch. A sandwich rolls out of the lunch pack and he eats it as soon as he can sink his working fingers into the wheat. Two bites in, the door opens with haste and a tired, smiling boy walks through.
"Hey George," he says, tone mellow, soft. George knows he's speaking that way on purpose. He doesn't want to make George's day any worse like this. It's kind.
"Hey," the brunet responds, taking another bite when the rustling of fabric catches in his ears. He looks up to see Sapnap grabbing his jacket and stuffing a small cookie into his mouth as his body moves around in the coat.
George's eyebrows pinch together, confused as he asks, "Where are you going?"
Sapnap tosses him a quick, garland glance before smirking. "On a walk, and you're coming."
"Huh?" George blurts, slowly putting his sandwich down.
"Yup," Sapnap trances over to the table George is seated at and he leans down to radiate body heat that George naturally leans into. His hands slowly drag up George's shoulders as he leans to his ear, easy not to breath directly inside. "So get a jacket on and let's get out of here."
Shaken up, and biting his lip to look up at Sapnap, George nods weakly and stands up on shaky legs. Sapnap laughs at how easy it is to make him listen, especially with a tone deep and encouraging, warm and lenient. There's a softness to every syllable, and if he ever wants to boss George around, that is how he does it.
George scrambles upward and swiftly turns around to grab his own jacket, throwing it on with haste and covering his sandwich before Sapnap starts to head out the back door. He watches the taller shiver when cold air enters the room, and follows soon after. The dropping temperature envelops them, cold and fresh and smooth as it eases George's breathing.
As soon as there are two pairs of shoes tapping down the sidewalk, an arm lifts around George's shoulders and pulls him in steady. George smiles into the wrap, wearing a questionable smile.
"So what's this about?" He asks, voice dipping low as he looks up warmly at Sapnap. The taller doesn't look down, smiling ahead.
"What, I can't spontaneously take you out on a walk?" He asks, words coming out with the very reason George felt suspicious.
"Well I would have loved to eat lunch first but...—"
"Oh shut up," Sapnap's arm tightens around his shoulder, pinching through the fabric as George yelps in giggled surprise. "We own a bakery, you can eat anything anytime darling."
The pet name feeds right into George's soul and he feels snowflakes of butterflies wrap up into his heart. It never, ever really gets old.
George hums in agreement as he curls more into his lover's body, eyes fluttering shut for a moment to savor the feeling of radiated, pink love. This is exactly what he loves about working, about working and living with Sapnap, with the ones he loves and the job he loves. It's exactly what he misses, too, owing to the fact that his life has been put on hold for a holiday he can't control.
And even though he's felt like such a Grinch lately, there's peace in moments like these, which urge him to take every chance of those moments. One of his decisions, that he keeps holding back from Sapnap, gives him every right to ease back into when everything felt normal.
A blue gust of wind slaps him in the face lightly, and his eyes open again to a snowy sidewalk as they turn around the block. It gently reminds him to speak what's been on his mind, and it slowly eats at his insides with bitter need.
"So uh..." he mumbles out into the open for a moment, not bothering to waste another moment before he makes it awkward, "I think I'm gonna take the day off tomorrow, I think I need it."
He looks up at Sapnap's chiseled jaw for a quick second, before nervously looking down to the floor. He knows he shouldn't be nervous, because Sapnap is going to support him no matter what. Especially since it's just a day off, knowing more or less. A temporary pause in his life that's running too fast.
Sapnap nods slowly, processing. "You sure that's a good idea?" He seems almost disappointed.
George sucks in a leisure breath, and melting into Sapnap's arm as he exhales. "Yeah, yeah. It's been rough, I think I need to sleep in." He thinks over the decision, and every muscle of his mind tells him it's right. "It's just one day, for mental health reasons."
A heavy sigh leaves the man's mouth above him, frustrated and stumped shown through his tone. George's eyebrows furrow.
"I don't know George," Sapnap hesitates, the pace of their walk slowing and his arm around George softens. "Losing another worker is the least thing we want right now, and the fact that it's you can set a bad example."
"What?" George sibilated with confusion taking over his whole expression. "You're worried about how much we can handle? If I'm there I probably wouldn't even be any help."
Sapnap huffs again, tilting his head with an light, accusatory stare. It's the best he can do to show George that George is in the wrong, and it hurts. "I'm just saying, at this moment we're at a low with this company. I don't feel like we can afford a single person dropping out, even for a day."
"Oh come on—" their walk pauses completely, utter anger rising hot on George's cheeks. It's quite the opposite of what he expected. "This is me, I need this day to recoup. Working a little harder won't do any damage you know!"
Not a word comes from Sapnap, just deadpanned nothingness. His expression is careful, frustrated and set. George is practically fuming, the only thing flashing in his mind is echoing Sapnap, please.
The worst thing about these moments is when it turns sour, when communication dissipates. It's hard to see both sides when all you want to do is shut your mouth be held again.
In lieu of frustration and confusion boiling, George reads into it a little too deep once the frustration spills a little too high.
"What, Sap?" He spits weakly, "Do you think it's unfair of me or something? I'm pretty sure you're so obsessed with work that you can't see that you're struggling too!"
It's a completely false observation, and Sapnap rolls his eyes. But there's no anger steaming, just calm, passive aggression.
"I'm just trying to keep our bakery from going to shit, George," he argues with passion, stepping away to he can air out his coat as he looks away.
George fumes. "Well I own the goddamn place so I can do whatever the hell I want!" He scoffs, turning away and letting the frosted air push against his fiery skin as he steps through it, heading back to the bakery. Regrets quickly fill his mind, and he knocks his head back with a choked sigh, stopping in place.
"I'm sorry," he whispers to no one, maybe to his crumbling Christmas spirit, before heading forward again, knowing that they'll speak again later and rejoice with sorrow because that's just what they do. It's just hard to think about the consequences of his decision, when he knows it's affecting Sapnap too, in more ways than George thinks he can handle.
George wakes up alone. He hasn't woken up with the left side of the bed messy with blankets in a while. It feels too long, as it shouldn't. But the fear in his heart melts away when he hears ruffling in the nearby bathroom, the faucet running and the sound of a brush scrubbing on pristine teeth.
Sapnap's just getting ready. For a work day that lays absent in George's schedule.
He's not sorry he's taking the day off, it's true, he needs it to feel better. However, he's sorry that Sapnap doesn't agree, he's sorry that Sapnap doesn't want him to stay home, for a reason George can't bother to hear out. They are both feeling things, and it's only right for them to let it sizzle away with the season until they can move on without bitter frowns.
George gets up on a tired body and makes his way to the dining room. He pours a glass of water and waits.
Minutes later Sapnap comes in, fresh and dressed in a white collared, long-sleeve shirt. His hair is relatively flat, but his lips tweak upwards into a gentle smile.
"Sleepyhead's awake," he mumbles and stalks over, placing his coat down on the back of a barstool. "A little bit early for wanting to sleep in," the mockery is well hidden, but he soothes over it with a kiss to George's flushed cheek.
George lightly grins into it, humming. "I think the lack of your warmth woke me up," then his face shifts into a frown.
It's easy how they can stay sweet, even if frustration sits low in their chests. George would like to think they have a healthy connection.
Sapnap nods in understanding, lifting a hand to card it through George's hair. He's lured into a forehead kiss, one that lingers, one that apologizes. They both sigh, untimed but for the same reason.
It's tense, in all the worst ways. George is tired, he really is, but when it's mixed with feeling bad for Sapnap along with the clinginess of the holiday smearing all over the walls, he feels like he had made the worst decision.
"Have a good day at work," George says in a barely-whisper, leaning back to smile sweetly at the taller brunet. Their eyes connect for a long, heartwarming second, before he smirks and backs away to pick up his coat.
Sliding his arms through, his smirk never leaves, silent as it reads, I will try. His words tell something different.
"Go back to bed, idiot."
When Sapnap leaves, George goes back to nap for a bit, but only sleeping for a maximum of 4 hours, drawn awake by the peering sun and a mind swarmed with questioning thoughts. He doesn't know if it was worth it to take a break, overwhelmed by Sapnap's opinion and how much he disagreed with such an idea that almost had George in tears.
But Sapnap rarely makes him cry, so he's thankful for that.
He goes the rest of the day watching tv, curled up in his pajamas eating an egg sandwich, hanging on twitter and then doing a bit of entertainment coding which doesn't really go anywhere. A majority of his day is spent eating snacks and scrolling on his phone, missing the magic touch of his lover and every loving bit of his lips touching George's. He learns to get used to him not being there, though, for the sake of his day off.
It isn't a surprise though that Sapnap texts him throughout the day, and that is reminder enough that he misses George as well. They can never go too far apart without talking. It easily makes the situation lighter.
Sapnap
clay spilled the milk in the kitchen
what a fucking idiot
George
Don't bully him, that's rude
Sapnap
I'm nottttt
we talked about it, it's fine
George
I thought you were supposed to bully me tho :(
Sapnap
i spent all of that yesterday
i want to praise you now
George
Ok fine ig
Get back to work now tho, please
You gotta work twice as hard now since I'm not there
Sapnap
unfortunately
i mean uhhhh
great boss!
George
that's what I thought
George sighs, melting back into the blankets surrounding him in bed, mind fogging up with forgotten issues he'll have to deal with later. His chest sinks into his stomach and his neck tilts as his eyes flutter closed, and sitting in daydream land. His body is far from tired, phone cold in his hands underneath the mass of warmth as he floats off into nothingness.
But eventually he descends back up, bored.
There's nothing for him up there when Sapnap isn't here.
There's nothing for him up there that can clear his plate and wash away his sorrow when Sapnap isn't here.
He properly needs him, and maybe George was a little selfish to let Sapnap go, when he needs to sharpen up himself.
But it's just so hard.
George groans into cotton, eyes shutting furiously shut. He pulls out his phone and waits, bored out of his mind, but eager for the end of the day to come. He feels useless when work isn't pulling him every which way, ironically.
There's no way to win during the holidays.
Hours later, when the spirited sun dips just over the horizon, George is snapped awake when the door in the main room clicks shut, filling the house with an unexpected sound. George sits up a little bit, but not too far as his head sits high on his pillow, eyes widened compared to it's lull state minutes ago. The blanket falls aside as his body shifts around it.
More muffled sounds of moving items fill the hallway, until the doorknob turns and a shadow appears at the doorway where the entrance opens.
It remains silent as Sapnap moves into the room, coming into a clearer view with ruffled hair and clothes wrinkled, and George briefly wonders if they always look like that after a long day of work. George sighs gently with relief as Sapnap kneels onto the bed, leaning forward and laying on top of George so their chests align. He wraps his arms underneath George's armpits and sighs as he digs his face sideways into George's neck, breathing calmly and letting his eyes shut.
Just for a few moments, they cuddle. Soft breath kneads into George's neck, warm and secured. He almost wants the man's arms to be tighter around him so he can't feel the vulnerability of his tired body. And it's nice, for a good amount of time, it's nice to melt into a subconscious with only Sapnap. With only George.
But all good things must come to an end.
"Missed you," he mumbles into the skin and George lifts his own arms to hold around the brunet's shoulders. He tries not to breath too hard as Sapnap's weight melts into him further with the nice words.
"Hi Sappy," George responds, holding back a tickled giggle when Sapnap's scruff brushes his jaw, an odd giddiness radiating off his skin. "How was work?"
The taller hums, tired. "Packed, like usual," he answers but shifting so he props himself on his elbows and places a sweet, kind kiss onto George's lips. It's too quick for George to follow. "But I handled it, as best as I could." There's a slim frustration at the bottom where his tone stems, and it makes George furrow his eyebrows.
"Did you ever think about calling me?"
Sapnap shrugs. "Well, yes," he admits, staring at George's exposed collarbone. "But I didn't want to bother you. You didn't seem up for it at all today."
George softens, confused. His hands slip to Sapnap’s waist and their bodies fall closer together. “...Sorry.”
Sapnap’s expression follows soft in pursuit, lifting a stray thumb and brushing George’s jaw. It’s an insanely gentle gesture, too delicate, too reflective of the issue rotting deep in their stomachs.
“It’s okay baby, I got it covered,” Sapnap smiles in an attempt to be generous, but George can tell he’s getting more and more tired of it.
His lips quiver as a waft of sadness washes over him, slow and deliberate when it fills up too full until there’s wet tears brimming his eyelids. His chest tightens and he murmurs a chaste “fuck” when he feels frustrated, making Sapnap sit up higher as he frowns with empathy.
“George, what’s wrong?” He asks, cupping his cheek immediately and wiping the tears away that start to fall. He tries not to stare too hard, but it’s nearly impossible with how concerned he feels.
The smaller brunet sniffles, turning his face into the hand and closing his eyes shut, as the remaining wetness drips down his pink cheeks. He feels all of it rush into one fleeting moment, absorbed with anxiety from everything building up inside since the middle of November.
“I’m so sorry Sapnap,” George huffs as a choked breath falls from his mouth, “I’ve been so selfish— and I’ve been complaining so much— god you really don’t deserve that,” he rambles with a tight throat, but not letting it hold back his stuffed up feelings.
Sapnap doesn’t say anything, lips gaping slightly open as George tries so hard not to sob ugly into Sapnap’s palm. He takes his silence as an opt to continue.
“You’re just so perfect, and you’ve been so perfect to me, I just don’t understand how you can do it,” he bites his lip to prevent a cheeky smile from rising at the pure thought of Sapnap being so good to him. “Sorry I’ve been such a slack off, I—”
“Hey, shh,” Sapnap interrupts, gripping George’s jaw firmly for a moment. George stops as quickly as the sound leaves Sapnap’s lips, light but serious and enough to shut him up forever.
And the kind glare never leaves Sapnap’s face and George finally lets out a sob, sucking in a harsh breath and looking up with glimmering pupils, begging for a response. His sniffles progress and his body yearns to shake to release the pounding feelings inside him.
The taller leans down and kisses George’s cheek, still holding him and caressing him with hands that are meant to ground. It works so, so well.
“Breathe, George,” Sapnap whispers into the adjacent earlobe, placing a soft kiss under his ear. “Take a second, I love you.”
George hums and nods against his side, breathing in and out carefully. A few moments go by of soft breathing, and controlled, sweet crying. And then Sapnap leans away a bit so he can look at George again, who lifts his hands to wipe his wet cheeks.
Once stuttered breathing slows down and George can feel the synchronized heartbeats aligning between their chests, he nods to Sapnap, who smiles in appreciation.
“You are so perfect, George,” Sapnap admits, a dumb grin wiping across his face and it makes George smile and bite his lip in return. “You work so hard, you try your hardest everyday, and I understand if it gets too much sometimes.”
“The point is that you try, and some people can’t handle as much as you do, which makes you the hardest worker out there baby,” Sapnap wipes under George’s eyelid before leaning down to kiss his forehead. “Christmas is full of craziness and I don’t want you to think I’m not hurting either, because this sucks.”
George looks away for a moment, blushing and holding his breath as Sapnap speaks, and it makes him fall in love so much harder.
“I’m no better than you,” Sapnap whispers, as if it’s a secret he’s been holding in for ages, “the smile I’ve been wearing is far from real— I mean, most of the time.”
It elicits a laugh from the smaller, eyes squeezing shut before opening to a beautiful boy above him, always there, but now even brighter. “Yeah, okay,” voice watery as he rolls his eyes, and Sapnap shakes above him.
“Anyway,” he enunciates with a pointed look, smirking down, “don’t be sorry for taking the day off, or feeling tired, or working a little slower with our current situation because what matters is that you take care of yourself,” his voice dips lower and more meaningful. George’s heart stutters. “Even if I feel absolutely horrible that I can’t take care of you all the time—” George laughs out of nose, “It’s okay, since I know I always have you, and you always have me.”
He takes a deep breath, and his speech is over. George huffs and his hands circle around Sapnap's neck again, easing him into a gentle kiss. “I love you,” he mumbles into pink lips, smiling loudly. “Thank you.”
He sniffs once more and Sapnap leans over again to kiss up George’s neck, implanting touches that burn into his skin, but always way sweeter than fire. “Of course, I care about you so much.”
George hums, grateful and embracing the hold he lays in with warm arms. He’s no longer tired, but there’s a warmth he would happily fall asleep in again, if it was Sapnap’s. “I’m sorry for our argument. I was upset, and tired, and exhausted.. etcetera etcetera,” he frowns and Sapnap hums by his ear.
“Yeah, that walk kind of went downhill, didn’t it?”
George sighs, “Yeah.”
A leisure second ticks by, and then Sapnap shifts. Their eyes connect, jubilant love connected by a thick line between pupils. "I'd love to take you on another one, to like, make it up to you?"
George tips his chin up and his eyes screw thin, thinking. He decides not to comment on Sapnap making the argument his fault, because George knows they would get nowhere with that.
A pale hand lifts up and tucks a lone stand of hair from Sapnap's face, smiling up at him, with an idea spurring in his mind. "As long as we get some food first?" George's voice feels lost and cracked, but hopefully convincing in the mirth of it.
Sapnap wouldn't be able to say no, anyway.
"Deal."
George had no idea why they were in a car if they were going to go on a walk.
But he wasn't complaining when But he wasn't complaining when they pulled up to Panda Express, dimly lit in the shadowy parking lot that shined so bright compared to the lamplights highlighting the charcoal streets. Sapnap had opened the door for him and pulled him in the building for a quick order of food, given tiny, put together to-go boxes and they left back to the car with forks in hand.
Sapnap took the wheel again and put their food in between the center console as he pulled out.
"Where are we going now?" George asked as he stared at Sapnap's crepe dusted cheeks, barely visible in the dark space of the driver's seat. He looked content, and his poker face was strong.
"On a walk," he said calmly, the corners of his lips lifting slightly.
"We're literally driving," George deadpans, lifting an elbow to lean on against the window. "unless we're going somewhere."
Sapnap hums. "I guess you'll have to find out."
George can't help but feel nervous butterflies climb up his abdomen with an intent to excite, and he taps his fingers against his cheek with a sly grin on his face. It helps to be out like this and calm down, forgetting about everything pulling him down. It feels nice to know Sapnap has his back when he knows George is stressed, and if all they did was drive around in the moonlight with the windows down, wind caressing their faces like a refreshing blanket, George would love that too.
The rest of the car ride is relatively calm, the only sound being the AC of the car and the soft radio music not doing a very good job of covering the sounds of the wheel rolling down the road, and George finds himself more at peace than he has felt all week.
What makes him confused though, is when Sapnap pulls over to the entrance of a neighborhood, one that George doesn't recognize, just outside of it so the houses down that particular street are out of view. A few cars drive down the neighboring street, already giving him the aspect that it's a popular place.
"Where are we?" George's voice is small after being quiet so long, but he ignores it as he watches Sapnap's lips curl into a smirk.
Sapnap leans down to grab their takeout boxes and he unbuckles his seatbelt. "Come on," is the only thing he says before pushing the car door open and circling around to open the passenger's.
When he gets out, the cold envelops his body, immediately hugging his own arms around himself as he steps onto the side walk. Sapnap hands him a box of their food and smiles as George takes it. This must be the walk, then.
They start up the side walk, George's focus on his food box as he opens it and hums when the smell wafts into his nose. When he looks up though, his eyes widen in surprise.
In front of him he can stare down the street when an explosion of bright colors swarms his vision. The whole block is lit up with Christmas decorations, sparkling and twinkling, flashing of a variety of rainbow that George can barely comprehend. He may be colorblind, but everything pops out so beautifully his jaw drops at the sight.
Sapnap smiles when George glances between him and the houses, and then George officially turns back to Sapnap, leaning in to kiss his cheek with the happiest smile.
"This is so cool!" George mumbles in awe, "How'd you know to come here?"
A hand travels upward to grip George’s linen scarf, pulling him close enough to brush their noses together. "This is the most decorated street in our city, I heard about it online and since we had a bit of time... I thought it would be fun," Sapnap explains excitedly, holding onto George's waist and leaning in to kiss the corner of his mouth. "And now that we've got Chinese, it's even better."
George snorts and kisses Sapnap for real, but not too long, because the food in his palm is steaming and his stomach is growling silently. They pull away from each other and begin walking up the sidewalk enough to enter the street. The first house is decorated a myriad of pastels and primary, all that glisten to outline every feature of the house. And when he starts spooning orange chicken into his mouth, everything pops out even more to an extent he can't help but enjoy.
The houses all around and across gleam with ornaments and string lights that outline the roofs of villas, reindeer trotting their fields and snowmen growing with helium that wear the silliest smiles. The rich streets reflect of color and snow, berry, bluebell and magenta, citron and seafoam all swirling in the skies. It exclaims the whole word Christmas, right in George's face. But this time, it's a sweet reminder, one that makes pride boom in his heart and happiness scorch his cheeks.
Sapnap can't help but notice halfway through the walk as he turns to face the smaller, observing him. When George feels the warm glance, he realizes that he hasn't felt cold this whole time. Although it's slightly impossible when surrounded with so much UV that glows gold all around them to the point that they could ditch their coats and make snow angels without them, (—but that would be a very stupid idea).
Either way, George meets his eyes fondly. And they don't say anything. They let their citrus smiles speak for themselves.
More cars drive by, entering and leaving, but the engine sounds fly right past. Christmas music plays lightly in the background, songs that George can't get tired of when he feels so in touch with winter. They pass a particular villa with a whole field of Christmas lights, spelling out "Merry Christmas" on the expanse of freshly cut grass.
It's beautiful and George thinks, "Merry Christmas to you too."
When George puts another piece of chicken into his mouth and accidentally pokes his gum with the fork, he looks up and they're already back to their car, realizing they circled around the whole cul-de-sac indulged with the beauty of decoration.
Sapnap turns to him, "Wow, that went by fast," he says and tucks the food under his elbow. "Did you like it?"
George's eyebrows furrow with sudden confusion, smiling away afterward. "Of course I liked it. That was amazing."
"I'm glad," Sapnap smirks as he stalks closer, and George can already predict what's about to happen. The smaller leans in and grabs Sapnap's food, placing both of their boxes on the ground by their feet. And as soon as he stands up, he's nearly knocked backwards with the light force of Sapnap's lips connecting with his.
They move gentle, loving and protective. Sapnap's arm circles around George's waist once again to pull them chest to chest, and George wraps his arms around the brunet's neck to kiss him harder. The kiss is thankful and knowing, lips reattaching with vigor that somehow stays careful for the whole beginning of it.
But in no time, their mouths descent into hot, hungry movements, pushing and pulling with icicles tongues burnt hot in the midst of lovers' lust. So much that breath is stolen sooner than usual, as George initiates their detachment with a sharp inhale for oxygen. The only thing lighting up their circle, immediately, is Sapnap's grin, highlighted under pretty Christmas lights where cheeks glisten with rose.
It makes George relax, ironically. Just what he needed.
And Sapnap thrives in this environment, in the middle of all things yuletide, rejoiced and faithful. Where he can work the busy hours and then come home to a Christmas tree where his boy sits under with exchanged pride. George would be quite the suffering boyfriend if he stole that from him.
"I'm sorry, Sap," he exhales, a fresh, cold breath falling from his lips.
A frown rises onto Sapnap's face, but the grip on his wrist tightens with reassurance, interrupting his want to deny it. Sapnap relaxes again and the frown eases back into an idle grin.
"It's been hard for me to accept that Christmas is forever, and I can't just hide. I'm kind of rockheaded, you see—" a chuckle fills the air and Sapnap draws him closer. "—so I can't exactly accept things easily. But I'm trying, and for you I'll try harder," George finishes, looking away one last time to view the Christmas lights around them.
Colors swirl his peripheral, bright, happy and everything George can learn to love and accept. There's a happiness in Christmas, he just needs to find it, lean into it, accept it.
It turns out to be much easier with Sapnap holding his hand, pulling him towards it, full of promises that give George all the trust he needs.
And then Sapnap kisses him again, a silent form of his acceptance, George supposes. But he has never complained about getting kissed by his favorite boy in the world.
There's a gentle thud against the front door, a particular one that reflects more of a human limb colliding with the surface. A hand twists the doorknob from the outside and pushes it open, a small brunet giggling as he's playfully shoved through the now open door, pale hands tightly pulling Sapnap in along with him.
Lips are colliding for stability the moment they're surrounded by the warmth of their home, Sapnap licking behind George's teeth while the latter pushes for Sapnap's jacket off his shoulders as lust grows tremendously in between their mouths. George ends up turning them around and pressing Sapnap into the counter with a sinister chuckle, one that dissipates into a soft moan when Sapnap bites on his lip in retaliation. But then he makes no move to flip them around again, and lets George feel up his waist and shoulders with his cold hands.
It's soft for the most part, leading entirely by limbs getting more tired as they move and discover. But they'd like to make the most of touching, when it's all they'll ever get around this time. George takes in every bit of it, kissing down Sapnap's throat and feeling the way his neck tilts back and his fists grip George's collar to lean into it more.
Sapnap's hands eventually climb back up to George's hair and he slides his fingers through, sighing when a gentle mark is placed under his jaw. He pulls back on George's hair and when the brunet looks at him with confusion, he leans back in and kisses him again. It's slower, softer, laced with a thankful confession bleeding from his tongue. And George pulls them apart to breathe, smiling at Sapnap's blissed-out face, cheeks dusted with bright merlot.
And then something catches his eye from behind Sapnap.
His eyes lock on something on the counter, a packet of powder laying harmlessly on the marble. It must've fell out of the cabinet from the other day, George thinks.
Before Sapnap can interrupt, he squeezes Sapnap's hips with a smile. "I have an idea."
Hot steam floats up into George's nose as he walks around the counter to the couch, where Sapnap is bent over the fireplace, watching it light up in warm flame. He turns around and meets George's eyes, smirking at the mugs in his hands.
"Thank you," he murmurs as the smaller hands him one, scooting down back to the couch and sitting on the floor in front of it. George follows and sits down, then offers to hold Sapnap's mug once more as the taller stretches upward to drag a clump of blankets off the sofa to join them.
The soft aroma of chocolate surrounds them, liquified and hot. Once Sapnap wraps them in a heavy woven blanket, George leans into his elbow and hands him the mug. They both take a careful sip of the drink, sighing at the flavor caressing their tongues.
"Thank you," Sapnap huffs into the mug, sipping a bit more.
"Of course," George replies, melting more into Sapnap's side and resting his head on the boy's shoulder. And they drink for a while, enjoying the flaring warmth of the fire that holds their faces with tangerine shadow and George loses feeling for a while, eyes going lidded as his entire body falls numb, only knowing Sapnap and the touch of cold ceramic on his fingers that's since grown hot.
Sapnap kisses his temple, George turns toward it. He's met with another kiss, one that's easy and more desirable. He leans back as Sapnap closes his eyes, kissing him more, and George doesn't know why but he enjoys it.
When he pulls away, their eyes meet with sparkling lust, it feels like reality gone limbo.
And they kiss again and again, harsher, slower, lips that bite but no teeth at all. So much that George has to set their mugs aside and let Sapnap clamber over him and kiss him more, the only sound being the flicker of the fire and their lips coming together with slick, deep vigor.
"You taste like chocolate," George giggles as Sapnap's tongue meets his own for a brief moment.
Sapnap chuckles low. "...Gross?" he questions.
George hums, "Erm, no," he murmurs softly against the taller's lips, breathing in softly. "Tastes good." Then Sapnap laughs again happily, kissing their souls breathless once again. George is nearly suffocated, only getting small quips of breath every now and then when Sapnap nips at his lip and leans to the side to nibble at his pale neck, dotting his skin with mauve, comet kisses.
But he never fully escapes the feeling of having his breath stolen by his man, who devours him good with love that George accepts with ease. He's lucky, he's so incredibly lucky.
If it ends up like this, cuddled up on the floor painted in pink by his lover, constantly showered in a life he's grown to love that proves to him every day that he's lucky—
Maybe if then, he likes Christmas.