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“Wright!” A familiar deep growl echoed through the defense lobby.
Phoenix turned from his congratulatory post-case celebration with Athena and Sasha to see Edgeworth scowling becomingly at him. “Oh, yikes! Excuse me a minute,” he said to his companions, “I have something I need to take care of. Alone. I’ll catch up with you later at the aquarium?”
“Sure thing, boss!” Athena agreed, glancing warily at where the unknown-to-her be-frilled man in the pink suit was all but charging like an angry bull towards Phoenix. Phoenix waved her off with a quick ‘don’t worry’ look, though, so she shrugged and led their client and the rest of their party away.
Phoenix turned to face Edgeworth and couldn’t resist smirking just a little bit. “Hey, Edgeworth,” he said deliberately overly casually, “did you catch the trial?”
Edgeworth had not stopped glaring at him like Phoenix was the most vexing thing he had ever witnessed.
“So,” Phoenix laughed sheepishly, “what’d you think? Pretty impressive, huh? Looks like I’ve still got it!” He winked just to be extra obnoxious.
Edgeworth’s face evened out into his haughtiest, most indifferent expression, and he crossed his arms over his chest. “That,” he summarized, “was the most absurd farce I have ever witnessed. You defended an orca in court, got it acquitted, then defended the woman you’d accidentally proved guilty in the orca’s stead, got her acquitted, then proved the man you’d subsequently proved guilty to be innocent before he could even be charged!”
“Heh, heh, yeah, I guess I did do something kind of like that, didn’t I?” Phoenix admitted. “What can I say? I was on a roll.”
Edgeworth, apparently, was not done with his rant. He threw up his hands in despair. “You changed your theory of the crime entirely on so many separate occasions that I actually lost count, including – but not limited to – the identity of the murderer, the location of the crime, and the murder weapon. In the process, you somehow got your original client accused again. Multiple times. Upon which you texted me, while court was still in session, and I quote”—at this juncture, Edgeworth pulled out his phone and read directly from the screen—“‘Does double-jeopardy apply to cetaceans? Asking for a friend,’ unquote.”
“And you never replied!” Phoenix objected. “That information would’ve been useful.”
Edgeworth snorted. “I interpreted your words as rhetorical idiocy.” Fair enough. “Somehow, you elicited a diss track against yourself as testimony. And to top it all off,” Edgeworth scowled again, “you cross-examined a whale!”
“Actually,” Phoenix scratched his chin, “despite the name ‘killer whale,’ orcas are technically a species of dolphin…”
Edgeworth did not look impressed at being corrected on this technicality. “You are the most impossible, infuriating man I have ever met, and I don’t know why I expected anything less from your comeback trial!” he snapped peevishly.
“So…” Phoenix drawled out.
Edgeworth continued to glower back at him.
“…Exactly how turned on are you right now?” Phoenix concluded with a cheeky grin and an eyebrow waggle.
Edgeworth blushed and looked deliberately away. “Shut up,” he grumbled.
Phoenix slung an arm around Edgeworth’s shoulders in a way that hopefully looked comradely to the bailiff at the door, but in actuality his thumb rubbed tantalizing little circles into Edgeworth’s bicep. “There’s no reason to be embarrassed,” he teased. “You know I admire your…passion for the law.”
Edgeworth brought the fingers of one hand up to pinch the bridge of his nose, like he was getting a headache. “You’re just making it worse. Why is it always like this when you are so patently ridiculous?” he asked wistfully.
“The heart wants what the heart wants. And you,” Phoenix accused, “love ridiculous.”
Edgeworth’s face flamed red anew, and he refused to make eye contact.
“Just like old times, huh?” Phoenix said fondly. He cast a furtive look around and then leaned in to whisper in Edgeworth’s ear. “Want to sneak into one of the vacant lobbies and fool around on the sofa the way we used to?”
Edgeworth gave him a stony look and shook off Phoenix’s arm to put a respectable distance between them again. “I am the Chief Prosecutor now. I have responsibilities to uphold. Such actions would be unbecoming of my position.”
“I don’t know, those sofas are surprisingly large and comfy… And I’m pretty sure Prosecution Lobby Number 12 isn’t in use today,” Phoenix retorted nonchalantly. And then more confidently: “Meet you there in fifteen minutes?”
Edgeworth stared at him with the coldest, most dispassionate stare that Phoenix had ever seen. His nostrils flared once in irritation, and then he spat out, “Ten!” before stalking away with a distinctive hitch in his step that indicated that even those finely-tailored pants weren’t sitting right.
“Aw yeah,” Phoenix said with a victorious little fist-pump, after a quick glance around to make sure no one was watching, “definitely still got it!” And slunk off sneakily in the other direction for his designated – and well earned – rendezvous.