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The darkness welcomed Tommy with open arms. The promises of care and safety luring him into the thick blackness of his mind. The warmth that followed was more comforting than anything he had felt in years. The gentle, soothing words his galaxy whispered made him melt.
Nothing mattered anymore, he was alone, he was safe and he would never be hurt
(or loved)
again. He would be okay. Tommy’s galaxy whispered to him,
‘you will be okay. stay here, no one will harm you ever again.’
. It was intoxicating. There was nothing that could convince him otherwise.
But after god-knows-how-long, Tommy’s galaxy started presenting him with memories. Who was he not to oblige?
It had been a lovely spring day. It was nearly Tommy’s 6 birthday which meant that Mommy and Daddy would send him off to stay with Ebony and the others for a while! That made him excited and he skipped almost all the way home. Then he remembered that Daddy didn’t like it when he did that. He said it wasn’t ‘manly’.
He soon reached his home-building. He greeted Clementine on his way up to his home, telling her that his birthday was really soon. She smiled kindly and gave him the same fond wave she usually did. He climbed up the stairs for a long time before reaching his floor. ‘35’ It said. Tommy walked through the hallway all the way to the door.
Tommy knocked on the door like he usually did, only to find that the door was open. Strange, but maybe Mommy and Daddy were busy and wanted him to be able to get in by himself! It was okay, because he was a big boy now. The biggest! Mommy always said so. Tommy closed the door behind him and walked into the house.
It was really quiet, which was weird. Because usually Daddy would be watching the TV or talking with Mommy really loud. All he could find was this notebook with his name on it. Wait… maybe it was a gift! For him! He ran around the house once more before arriving at his Mommy’s room. He opened the door only to find Mommy standing on the windowsill.
Tommy panicked.
“Mommy! Get down! It’s dangerous up there!”
His mother, the light of his life, was standing somewhere very dangerous. She gave him a smile, it was blinding. He begged her to come down. She only shook her head.
“Oh my love. I am sorry, your mother is so sorry that she couldn’t be strong enough for you. How I wish I had the courage to speak up to your father. How I wish I was not so cowardly. How I wish that I could give you the life you so truly deserve. But I cannot. Existence is cruel. I am cruel. How I wish I wasn’t. Goodbye my darling.”
Tommy could only watch as his mother fell. He scrambled to the windowsill where his mother had stood and reached out. Time seemed to slow as she plummeted to the ground. His mother smiled.
“Look away, Toms.”
So he did. All he could hear was the horrifying crunch that followed. He didn’t look, because Mommy told him not to. Because Mommy- Mommy- Mommy was gone. She was gone. All he had left of his mother was a stupid notebook. Tommy sniffled and wiped his tears. Daddy didn’t like it when he cried.
So instead, he opened the notebook. His eyes scanned the lovely and familiar handwriting of his mother. The delicate strokes and loops that her hand managed to make. They were so even, so perfect. How he had always wished he had her handwriting.
Tommy took a deep breath. Mommy told him he was smart for his age, he always told her that she had just taught him a lot of big words. He started reading. Oh how he wished he hadn’t.
‘Hello Tommy, my sunshine. I am sorry I left you this way. I wish I could’ve done something else but I was too weak. But you are so strong. So much stronger than that god darn father of yours. So, my love, next time he hurts you? Hurt him back. Call the police. Remember what Mommy taught you? 911. There is a phone in the folds of this notebook. Use it, my sunbeam. Never, ever forget how much I love you.”
Tommy’s breaths were harsh and painful. This was his mother’s last wish and he would follow it, consequences be damned. Soon enough, a door slammed shut with a booming sound. For the first time in his life, Tommy felt ready to face his father.
Tears streamed down Tommy’s cheeks at the memory. How could he ever forget the incident that orphaned him? His lovely mother had- had- No. No, he was in his galaxy now, in his world. Nothing could ever hurt his galaxy again. Instead he took a shuddering breath ( not unlike the one he had taken as a child, planning to hurt his father-) and asked his galaxy to provide him with a nicer memory.
Thankfully, his galaxy obliged.
“Tommy~ Come out come out wherever you are~”
Tommy stifled a giggle at the teasing. He was hidden so well, there was no way Ebony would ever find him. He was sure, he was so so sure. There was no way-
“Found you, sunbeam!”
Tommy shrieked with laughter as he was lifted off his feet and into the strong arms of the one and only Ebony.
“Ebon! You found me! How!”
The older girl giggled and planted a kiss on his forehead.
“Magic, Toms.”
Tommy laid his forehead against Ebony’s and smiled.
Tommy giggled. Oh how he missed Ebony. He hadn’t seen her since she had been adopted by her new family. She had been such a good person to him, an older sister even. There was not a second he regretted spending with her, no matter how short or vague the memory of it was.
If only he could find her again… He would do anything for another Ebony Hug. He sniffed, thanking his galaxy silently for the memory. It glowed in response before quickly showing him another one.
Tears filled Tommy’s eyes as he registered what Ebony said.
“You’re- You’re leavin’ me?”
The older girl grimaced at Tommy’s tearful response. She cupped her hands on Tommy’s cheeks and brought their foreheads together.
“Oh Toms, I wish I could bring you with me. But my new family’s moving all the way over to Las Nev and i can’t.”
The pain and devastation in her eyes was enough to make Tommy burst into tears and bury his face into Ebony’s jumper. She held him tightly and whispered apologies and promises that they both knew she probably wouldn’t keep.
“You promised you would be with me forever, Ebon. Why are you leaving me?”
Tommy hiccupped and clutched onto her jumper tighter, as if it would make her stay. His heart broke to hear the sobs coming from Ebony in return.
“Tommy, oh my sunshine. I love you so, so much. Don’t ever doubt it.”
Tommy nodded, but in his head he screamed.
‘IF YOU LOVE ME, WHY WON’T YOU STAY?’
But he knew it was cruel to make her abandon her new family just as they had found each other. So, he dried his eyes and took Ebony’s face in his hands.
“I love you Bon-Bon. You’re my older sister, even if you’re in Las Nevadas without me. Don’t feel bad for leavin’ me here, okay?”
Ebony’s bottom lip trembled and they both burst into tears again. In that moment, the world was cruel and the universe demanded suffering. But the two couldn't care less, as they held each other and cried. (She ended up leaving after putting Tommy to bed and leaving him a note and a picture within his notebook. Tommy cried when he found what she had left.)
The galaxy sighed. Ebony was someone who the galaxy loved dearly. The galaxy could not bear to watch her leave a second time. The galaxy allowed another memory to play to him, hoping it would be happier than the last. (Knowing it would not be.)
Tommy stared out of the car window. This was his first foster home since… since Bon-Bon left. He knew it would be hard, but he promised her that he would be a good boy. But… it hurt somewhere in his chest to think of her. He didn’t mention it to Miss Puffy, since he knew it would only serve to worry her.
The car stopped and pulled up in front of a house.
“Alright kiddo, this is your stop.”
Puffy swiveled in her seat to look at Tommy. He smiled hesitantly at her, earning him a reassuring smile back.
“Hey bud, how’re you doin? I know this is gonna be hard without Bon, but I know you can do it. I really, really interviewed this family and they seemed really good for you, alright? But of course, call if anything happens.
Tommy nodded determinedly and opened the door, Puffy following suit. She offered her hand for him to hold and he accepted. Together, they walked towards the door and knocked. Puffy smiled proudly at him and a warm feeling blossomed in his chest.
The galaxy stared off into the distance, as if that could prevent the galaxy’s younger self from ever entering that household. It had been terrible and abusive, even more so than the galaxy’s father had been. They took away the galaxy’s notebook, which contained the most priceless items that galaxy owned and held them hostage .
The galaxy sighed. That was enough excitement for the galaxy today. The galaxy yawned and sighed. Perhaps tomorrow the galaxy would have more courage to protect the galaxy’s self. For now, the galaxy was tired and the galaxy would be going to sleep. (
The galaxy ignored the aching pains in the galaxy’s chest, begging the galaxy to go home.
)