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This was a mistake. It always was.
But there was no fighting it, was there? They would inevitably get together again. Crashing into each other in the most destructive way possible, like two stars colliding. It ended the same way every time. One of them would end up heartbroken all over again, and as far as Jack knew, it was usually him.
The Reaper, the one feared far and wide, had abdicated from Talon. It was a quiet affair; one day, he simply disappeared, breaking all contact with Talon, Overwatch, or any other organization associated with the war, with only a select few given any indication of what happened. Jack was one of those few. He supposed it was a lot easier to wipe yourself off the map when you were able to turn into mist.
Not that it mattered, of course; Jack was certain they’d end up meeting up this way no matter who he worked for. Still, it was everything Jack had hoped for, and everything that only he’d believed would ever happen. His dream of both of them no longer being bound by the obligations of any kind of organization. Being able to live how they want.
But now that it was here...he didn’t really know what to do.
This was their first meeting in a very long time. Their first one face-to-face since Gabriel shot Jack, actually. They had been in close proximity, and even spoken remotely a few times (how Gabriel had gotten his number, Jack would never know - it was probably Sombra, as usual), including when they went to arrange this meeting in the first place, but actually looking directly into Gabriel’s eyes was something he’d been without for years now.
He ached for it, yet at the same time, it terrified him.
Jack was the first to arrive at the small house, which sat in the middle of a plain, no other civilization in sight. Long grass grew throughout the area; nobody had maintained it in a very long time. Jack would have to check himself for ticks after this.
It felt like home.
As he stepped through the field, he stared at the ground, lost in thought on the chilly autumn night. He remembered how much Gabriel hated this type of weather. The colder seasons were always Jack’s favorite, but he’d start whining just as much once it got hot. Another way they were so different, yet always the same.
The only thing Jack could see underneath the thick layer of grass were an assortment of fallen leaves, which crunched under his feet as he progressed. He looked upward and saw the source: a group of trees ahead of him, now almost completely bare. A light breeze came by, and the branches swayed gently, visible in the soft light of a full moon.
He hadn’t appreciated nature in so long, had he?
He continued towards the house as the breeze picked up, grateful for his signature jacket. It sure as hell was a lot more useful here than it had been in the desert.
After a few more steps, he was at the door. He took a deep breath, knowing Gabriel could be behind it, but didn’t allow himself to overthink it. He entered as quickly as he could...and no one was there.
Did Jack always have to be early to everything?
Venturing further into the house, he felt for a light switch on the wall, and quickly located it. After he turned it on and overhead light flooded the room, he noticed that the house was almost as barren as the field it sat in. There was almost no furniture at all; only a couch and two chairs, then a table a short distance away in the kitchen. He supposed he shouldn’t have expected a masterful piece of interior decorating. For someone like Gabriel, though, this had a surprising lack of flair. He must have not been in here yet, either.
As he walked through the house, the only sound that accompanied him was the soft thud of his feet on the wood floor. It was a bit eerie. He located the bathroom door on the right side of the wall, and opened it. When he reached the sink, he looked in the mirror above it. He felt self-conscious of the bags under his eyes and the way his shoulders slouched. He looked like a wreck - which he always did nowadays. He might as well write ‘depressed’ on his forehead. At least it gave an accurate image of his current situation, he supposed.
He huffed, trying to straighten his back and raise his shoulders, so he would look a little less like a sadsack than usual. It was ridiculous to do this as if this were some kind of date, and he knew it. But his mother had always told him that the one thing he could always control was how presentable he looked, and he sure as hell didn’t have control over anything else right now, including himself.
Walking out of the bathroom, he moved back into the living room, sitting on the couch with a soft sigh. In an attempt to calm his nerves, he at least tried to get comfortable, leaning back onto the cushion. It didn’t work at all. He didn’t really think it would.
All he could do now was wait.
--
Well, this was embarrassing.
As soon as Gabriel walked in, Jack immediately burst into tears. He wasn’t sure if he should hug him yet; otherwise, he would’ve immediately jumped into his arms.
Gabriel took his mask off, setting it on the nearby table, and stared at him. “Are you okay?” He asked, as if he’d done something wrong.
“I’m just so happy you’re back and--” Jack said, not even finishing his sentence.
When he looked up, Gabriel looked incredibly uncomfortable, but at least not angry. He patted Jack on the back; it was an awkward gesture, slow and jerky, but it was still appreciated. Jack willed the tears to stop flowing, but completely failed, and they only seemed to come out more quickly.
After a few minutes, Jack finally managed to look up at Gabriel, and was almost offended - Gabriel had the gall to look amused. “Nice to see you’re just as emotional as ever,” Gabriel said, with a mirthful smile. “Some things never change.”
Jack wiped his nose, glaring at him. “Fuck you,” he said, but managed to smile back.
“Weren’t you always the one who told me that it’s not bad to have feelings?” He said, with a shit-eating grin.
Jack could only respond with a roll of his eyes. Gabriel sat down on the chair near the couch. When he got a closer look, he realized that Gabriel wasn’t wearing his Reaper getup; he was in a much more standard hoodie, the hood covering the top of his head. It felt horrendously normal.
The next thing he registered was the way Gabriel’s face had changed. His skin was ashen, and his mouth had been artificially widened, with many extra teeth trailing along the sides. His nose stopped unnaturally early, and there were patches of skin missing from his cheeks. All of this was completed by a pair of eyes with red pupils.
Gabriel frowned, then turned his head away. “I know. It’s fucking awful. You don’t have to tell me.”
Jack stared at him quizzically. “I think it looks fine. I’ve seen worse in my own family.”
He didn’t understand what the problem was. Sure, it looked different, but a ton of people didn’t look like an average human nowadays. Augments, cybernetics, or even being straight-up robots. What was the difference?
Gabriel backed away in his chair, as far away as he could be while still sitting down. His expression returned to neutral, and he inched closer again. “Doubt it,” he muttered.
“You’ve never met my uncles,” Jack said, only half-joking.
He didn’t respond with words; he merely sighed, then didn’t say anything for a moment. Jack got the sense that it was hard for Gabriel to believe him. Have people been making him feel like he’s ugly? Even the thought made Jack’s hands ball into fists.
“We got so much to talk about, don’t we?” Jack said, not looking in Gabriel’s direction. If he was honest, he was dreading the prospect of discussing their problems and ruining the closest thing they’d had to a peaceful moment in so many years.
“Unfortunately,” Gabriel grunted. So they were on the same page. He wasn’t sure if that’d make it easier or harder. He paused for a beat. “Can we do it later?”
Jack felt the tension in his shoulders ease. “God, please,” he said. Gabriel chuckled, and the sound was so familiar and sweet that it made Jack’s heart ache. It was still possible that he might not get him back. That he might not get this back. The thought was horrifying. “Ana would be so mad if she knew we weren’t talking out our feelings,” he added.
Gabriel raised an eyebrow. “You talk about her like she’s your mom,” he said.
Jack nodded. “Mama is the only person that scares me more than her.”
“You’re still such a mama’s boy,” he said, reaching over and patting Jack on the shoulder. Jack froze. Gabriel must have noticed, because he asked, “What’s wrong?”
“I…” Jack started, trying to find his voice.
He hadn’t been touched in any kind of positive way in so long. Every touch was people trying to hurt him. His entire vigilante career was just endless negativity, with meeting Ana being the only respite. Getting this kind of touch, especially from Gabriel, was incredibly overwhelming, in the best way possible.
He wished he could express that so eloquently. Instead, all he could do was blurt out, “I missed you.”
“Did I do something?” Gabriel asked, sounding genuinely concerned.
Jack shook his head, fighting back tears. “No. Forget it.” This was already embarrassing enough.
“No, if I fucked up, I wanna know,” Gabriel pressed.
God dammit. He wasn’t getting away so easily, was he?
“You didn’t. Opposite,” Jack said. He desperately searched his mind for a way to put this that wouldn’t make him look an idiot, and came up short. He decided to just be honest. “Nobody’s touched me in so long,” he breathed, voice shaking.
“Oh,” was all Gabriel said, looking down at his lap. Jack was mortified. He couldn’t believe his own emotions had made things awkward again. Such a mess. Such an idiot. “Haven’t had a lot of people touch me, either.”
Jack shouldn’t be surprised. People were terrified of him. Not to mention that he wasn’t fully corporeal a lot of the time. Touch would be something he’d be just as unlikely to experience. “Guess I didn’t think you needed it,” Jack said, quietly.
Gabriel didn’t look up. “I’m still a person, you know. Sort of.”
Jack turned back towards him, brow furrowed. “No ‘sort of’. You’re a human being. Don’t let anyone tell you different.”
There was an unnaturally long pause before Gabriel said, “Thanks.”
The two fell into silence.
What could he say, especially after that kind of outburst? There was so much to talk about, but he had no idea where to start. What was weighing on his mind the most? God, that could be any number of things.
But he knew Gabriel would never make the first move. Giving up his pride like that was something he’d never be capable of doing. Of course, Jack would be a complete hypocrite if he ever judged him for that.
So, he took a deep breath and started to inch his chair closer to Gabriel. The movement was unbelievably awkward, and the air was tense. When he looked over at Gabriel, he saw that the other man looked as if he would bolt away at any moment. Fine. Then Jack wouldn’t give him time to.
Once he was close enough, he softly brushed his hand over Gabriel’s. Both of them froze in place, staring at each other with pure terror. But Jack couldn’t miss his chance. He closed his eyes and put his palm in Gabriel’s, then wrapped their fingers together. To his shock, Gabriel didn’t fight it at all. In fact, he returned the gesture, gripping his hand. For a moment, they simply sat there; Jack was too afraid to ruin the little progress they had to even move. Like their love would crumble if he squeezed it too tightly.
Breathlessly, Jack leaned over just far enough to rest his head on Gabriel’s shoulder. Each motion was newly terrifying, every inch he moved causing his heart to beat faster, but he pressed on anyway. His whole body tensed as he felt Gabriel moving, and for a moment he was terrified that Gabriel would force him to move.
But instead, the other man merely patted the top of Jack’s head, then leaned in closer as well. Jack tried to will his adrenaline to stop rushing, for something to get rid of this anxious feeling. He simultaneously wanted to tighten Gabriel’s embrace and to jump out of his chair and leave this house.
He nearly jumped when he felt an arm start to slink around his back, until it was completely wrapped around his side. He quickly turned his head to Gabriel, who had an uneasy smile on his face.
At that moment, Jack felt his anxiety ebb away, replaced with a feeling of serenity. Like dunking his head under cool water on a hot day, the initial shock led to a refreshed feeling. A smile started to form on his face again, and he began to tear up.
“Thank you,” Jack whispered in Gabriel’s ear. “I won’t let you down again.”
The side of Gabriel’s lip quirked up. “I’ll hold you to that.”
Jack ignored what he was fairly certain was an attempt to ruin the moment. He knew Gabriel was just as emotionally affected by this as he was, no matter how much he played it cool, and the affectionate look he gave Jack suggested the comfortable feeling had sunk in for him, too.
Jack knew what he had to do.
He lifted his head off Gabriel’s shoulder, then slowly pushed his head closer, until their faces were nearly touching.
Gabriel approached him as well, and their lips met. It wasn’t a dramatic or explosive kiss. Something soft and delicate. Yet, it held deep meaning for Jack, because the feeling of finding comfort within each other was more important to him than anything else. He closed his eyes and sank into the feeling, allowing it to envelop him.
Gabriel slipped his other hand into Jack’s, and for this blissful moment, the hollow ache in his heart that he’d carried since Switzerland began to soften.
Their lips parted; it didn’t feel abrupt, and the emptiness didn’t come back. Just a natural progression, one of saving some of this joy for later. They could go at their own pace. For the first time in decades, Jack didn’t feel any pressure at all.
Jack let out a small giggle, like some kind of little kid, wide smile still on his face. “Your beard tickles,” he said.
“I can’t count how many times you’ve said that,” Gabriel said, chuckling.
“I forgot what it felt like. Leave me alone,” he said.
Yet another pause. He felt the serene feeling slipping away, replaced with a mounting nervousness. He had to keep going, or he would lose the moment. It was fleeting, and letting it go to waste would leave him feeling as empty as the landscape outside.
So, he shifted a bit closer, putting his arms around Gabriel’s back. The other man still looked a bit jumpy, and Jack knew he still needed to be careful. Gathering up all of the courage he had, he pulled himself closer, until his thighs were resting on top of Gabriel’s, leaving him sitting on the other man’s lap. He gave a nervous smile, which Gabriel returned; tender, shaky, and absolutely beautiful.
He worked his hands upward until they were just below Gabriel’s shoulders. Then, he closed his eyes and inched his lips closer until they met again. This kiss was deeper. Even rough. Gabriel pulled him as close as possible, and his tongue slipped into Jack’s mouth. Jack grinded his hips on Gabriel’s thighs, breathing hard, and used his hands to explore Gabriel’s sides, getting used to his new form. It still fit into his hands so well.
He moved his lips back for a moment. “Don’t think I’m ready for sex yet,” he admitted.
Gabriel shook his head. “Me neither. But this is good, too.”
His hands trailed upwards until they were resting on Gabriel’s upper arms, feeling his muscles. “Please stay,” he whispered in his ear.
Gabriel patted Jack on the back. “Not going anywhere, Boy Scout.”
A few moments passed, both of them just looking into each other’s eyes. Jack felt so comfortable. Safe. Cared for. He didn’t care if those eyes were red now; they were still just as gorgeous as ever, and the tender look Gabriel was giving him was more than he could’ve ever asked for.
“Surprised this chair hasn’t caved under our weight. Sturdy thing,” Jack said.
Gabriel rolled his eyes. “Leave it to you to ruin a moment by talking about something as boring as furniture construction.” A playful smirk formed on his face.
Jack laughed, hearty and genuine. His joyful look wasn’t just him being amused by his quip; it was also a reaction of happiness to Gabriel being able to joke at all. The one he loved still had some kind of humor in him. After years of only seeing him sad, brooding, or violent, it was refreshing. It wasn’t much, but it was enough.
Gabriel’s face rested only inches from his ear, and he whispered, “Love you.”
Jack felt as if he was about to start crying again. That would be humiliating. Luckily, he managed to hold it back, and only said, “You too.”
Gabriel pulled his head back. “Good. Don’t expect me to start saying that all the time like we’re in some kind of romance novel now,” he added.
Jack shook his head. “If you’re not at least a little bit of a jerk, you’re not the guy I love.”
What followed was a comfortable silence, with the only sound in the room being their breathing and the chirping of crickets outside.
He didn’t entirely know what he expected when he came to this house. Maybe some explosive sex, or even more explosive fighting. Both of those weren’t nearly as wonderful as this. It had been so long since he’d gotten to feel any kind of tranquility. Some respite from the violent storm that was his life.
For the first time since the building collapsed on him, what felt like an eternity ago, Jack felt at peace. Like he didn’t have to dread the next day. That was more valuable than any kind of pleasure. Was this what made love so valuable? Not the moments of passion, but the ones of comfort and security?
Jack felt more and more like some kind of philosopher as he got older.
This wouldn't be the end of their story, of course. Both of them were still fugitives, and while the law would probably be more forgiving of him if his identity was revealed (considering his work as a diplomat, his powerful allies, and his comparatively small body count), the Reaper had committed crimes beyond any kind of amnesty. They would be on the radar of international governments, Talon, and Overwatch for the foreseeable future.
Maybe Jack would seek to solve his own legal troubles someday and find a way to retire. Mend some ties with the newly formed second Overwatch. Try to branch out. Have a bit more of a social life. He doubted they’d be particularly open to forgiving Gabriel, though, and if they tried to take him away now, Jack would be gone with no hesitation.
And obviously, they had things to talk about. Questions Jack dreaded. ‘Why did you shoot me’, ‘where were you after the explosion’, ‘why didn’t you tell me what was happening to your body’, and so many more. He was sure that’d lead to fights, maybe even ones just as severe as before Overwatch fell. He could only hope Gabriel was as willing to try and meet him halfway as Jack was. Tonight gave him some hope, but he was fully aware that both of them were stubborn enough to fight a war before admitting they were wrong.
But if that was the load he had to bear for nights like these, it would always be worth it.
He heard a gust of wind outside, as if the world was sweeping away an awful time in his life. He closed his eyes and took in what was around him, his mind finally feeling at ease, even for just a fleeting moment.
And on that chilly fall night, Jack Morrison and Gabriel Reyes started their journey to learn how to love again.