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Julia stood in the doorway of the bedroom, her bottle in one hand, the nipple between her lips and she drank her milk as she watched mama with the baby in her arms. There was a rocking chair in the corner of the room and mama sat there now, the baby drinking his own milk. Mama was watching the baby, looking at him with a soft smile on her face, and she hummed to him softly. Daddy was taking a nap, sound asleep on the bed with Ghost curled up with him.
Just a little bit ago, Julia used to be there, in mama’s arms. Just a little bit ago, she used to be the baby. She was still a baby. Mama and daddy said it all of the time. They just had another baby now, too. Max. Julia didn’t know how she felt about him. He didn’t do much except cry and need his diaper changed. Julia sometimes stood at his crib and stared at him through the bars and he would blink back at her. They looked alike. They were the only two with black curly hair like daddy. That meant they had to stick together. They were also the two babies in the family. That meant they had to stick together.
But still, Julia stood and watched mama with Max and she wanted to be there, too. She wanted to still be in mama’s arms while she ate and have mama hum songs to her. She frowned as she kept sucking from her bottle and watching. She needed mama, too. She barely had any time with her before Max came along and took her away.
Mama lifted her head just then and saw Julia standing in the doorway with her bottle and a frown. She smiled at her and holding Max in the crook of one arm, she held out her other.
“Come here, Julia,” she said in a soft voice so she didn’t disturb Max as he ate and was moments away from passing out into a milk stupor.
Julia came, crossing the carpet and coming right into mama’s other arm. Mama hugged her tight and Julia wished she could crawl into her lap but she couldn’t because Max was there. Max was always there and Julia knew they had to stick together but she could also hate that Max was always there. She looked to Max and kept frowning. Mama saw and smiled before kissing Julia on the head.
“I love you so much, Julia,” she then told her.
Julia looked away from Max to look up at Mama and she smiled again before giving her another kiss.
“I always wanted two daughters. Do you know why?” Mama asked. Julia shook her head. That wasn’t something she would know at her age. “My two favorite girl names in the whole world are Eleanor and Julia and I wanted so badly to have two daughters so they could have those names.”
Julia kept sucking her bottle and looking at mama. She liked her name. She had her very own song. So did Eleanor. Mama had them on records and played them often. Julia loved her song and sometimes, when she was in a bad mood, daddy or mama would play the record and sing her song and it helped her feel better.
“You won’t understand until you’re older – I hope you understand one day – but sometimes, I’ll listen to his music and feel like crying that I get to live in a world where his music exists.”
Julia pulled the bottle’s nipple from her mouth. “Who?” She asked.
Mama smiled and squeezed her arm around her. “John Lennon. He is one of the Beatles and he’s the one who wrote your song. He’s one of the best musicians and song writers who ever lived. And the instant your daddy and me knew we were having a girl, I knew exactly what I was going to name you. A beautiful song I love for a beautiful girl who I love so, so much.”
Julia smiled and mama smiled, too. She kissed Julia’s head again and Julia smiled as she popped the bottle’s nipple back into her mouth. Max finished his own milk and mama gently pulled the baby back from her breast so she could fix herself up again before turning Max around to burp him. She then stood up and crossed to the crib. Julia followed after her and watched as mama kissed Max’s head and laid him down for a nap, the baby already fast asleep.
Mama turned and knelt down in front of Julia, smiling. “Let’s do something. Just the two of us. What would you like to do?”
Julia pulled the bottle from her mouth and thought for a moment. “Records,” she decided.
“Oh, yes. Let’s listen to records,” mama beamed and that made Julia beam, too.
“John Lennon,” Julia added.
Mama laughed. “I have a few of his solo records that we can listen to. Are you going to be my John Lennon fan?” She wondered.
“Yes!” Julia exclaimed though she didn’t know what mama was talking about. But she saying that made mama laugh and she kissed Julia’s head as she stood up, scooping Julia into her arms as she did, and Julia smiled because she liked making mama laugh.
Daddy began to wake up then and his eyes opened even as he yawned. He smiled at the sight of them. “What are you two up to?” He asked. With another yawn, he sat up and Ghost was awake now, too, and the dog jumped down from the bed, shaking and stretching himself out.
“John Lennon!” Julia exclaimed even though Max was sleeping and she knew that when he was sleeping, they were all supposed to be quiet. She would be taking a nap soon, too, and everyone had to be quiet for her then, too.
“John Lennon’s here?” Daddy asked with a smile and mama smiled, too.
“He’s right here,” mama told him and held Julia a little higher in her arms. Daddy grinned at that and getting to his feet, he came and kissed both of them on their cheeks.
Julia didn’t know what mama meant or why it made daddy smile big like that. She just knew that she liked the sound of it.
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