Work Text:
Simon stares down at his phone, confused.
Erik
Erik: How would you feel about coming to London with us for Christmas?
While he knows Erik and Wille like him, Simon is pretty sure he’s persona non grata with the rest of the Swedish royal family. Going to London with them kind of sounds like a recipe for disaster.
Erik
Simon: Are you sure that’s a good idea? I didn’t think your parents liked me.
Erik: Our parents are staying in Sweden. You could bring your mom and sister though!
Honestly, that just makes it more confusing.
Erik
Simon: Why are you going to London then?
Erik: Prince Philip invited us. Technically it’s diplomatic, but really, this trip is mostly for Wille, since Alex and Henry will be there. I’m inviting you along because it’ll make Wille happy (and me) and meeting Alex and Henry might be good for you too.
Simon: Alex and Henry?
He doesn’t know who any of those people are, honestly. Foreign monarchies have never been something he’s interested in, although he supposes he should probably start learning about them now that he’s dating a prince.
Erik
Erik: You have no idea who I’m talking about, do you. That’s okay!
Erik: Crash course in the English monarchy:
Erik: Queen Mary - a bitch (please do not leak my texts to the press I’m not supposed to say things like this)
Simon is already laughing. If he wasn’t literally next in line for the throne, he thinks Erik would have become a teacher.
Erik:
Erik: Princess Catherine - Queen Mary’s daughter, married one of the actors who played James Bond, has three kids. Mostly absent for their lives after the early death of her husband, but recently has taken an active role in her family and the monarchy again. Will be Queen soon.
Erik: Prince Philip - a little older than me, the oldest sibling. Was a dick, but he’s better now. We’re kind of friends. Is married to Princess Martha. Will be King after Princess Catherine.
Erik: Princess Beatrice (AKA Bea) - the coolest sibling. She was labeled a party princess by the press and had drug and alcohol problems for a while but she’s been sober for years. Runs charities for people with addictions now. Plays electric guitar.
Erik: Prince Henry - youngest of the siblings. He lives in America with his boyfriend and runs homeless shelters and charities for LGBTQ youth. He and Alex were outed in a leak of their private emails a couple years ago. There’s a running bet on who will propose first and when (Bea, Nora, and I agree that they’ll propose at the same time, but we disagree on when it’ll happen). Has a dog named David - after Bowie.
Simon is…pretty shocked. He had no idea there were any other publically gay royals.
Erik
Erik: Now the unofficial royal family:
Erik: Pez Okonjo - Henry’s best friend. They run the shelters together (Pez spends most of his time travelling the world and visiting their international sites). He’s dating June and Nora, but they’re keeping it quiet.
Erik: Alex Claremont-Diaz - Son of the US president. Biracial, bilingual, bisexual (his words). He’s studying law at NYU and plans to go into politics one day. Dating Henry.
Erik: June Claremont-Diaz - Alex’s sister. She’s super cool. Loves fashion and journalism. Has a published memoir. Is allergic to peanuts.
Erik: Nora Holleran - She/they pronouns. Alex’s best friend and June and Pez’s partner. Has a calculator in her brain. Eats peanuts when June makes them upset.
Wow. Simon’s brain is exploding.
Erik
Erik: Anyway, all that to say that everyone will be in London for Christmas and Mamma already gave Wille and I permission to go. I think you’d enjoy it a lot, but there’s no pressure, it’s your choice.
Simon: Let me ask Mama. She’ll want to come, but Sara might have plans with the girls and Mama will stay if Sara does.
It really does sound like it would be fun, and he’d get to spend time with Wille.
Mama is in the living room knitting.
“Hey, baby,” She says when he sits down next to her.
“I, um, got an invitation today.”
“Where to? And when?”
“Well, it’s kind of for all of us.” He has no idea how to say this.
“Really?”
“Yeah, uh, Erik asked me if we wanted to go to London with him and Wille. To spend time with the English royal family.”
It still doesn’t feel real. He’s on a first-name basis with two princes already and now he might be meeting even more? Insane. If only little Simon could see him now.
“Oh, that sounds great! We’ve never been to London before.” Mama says happily. “I don’t think Sara made any plans since most of her friends are going vacationing, but I’ll ask. You go find out how we’re getting there and when we’re going.”
She shoos him with her knitting needles. He gets up, kissing her on the forehead as he goes. “Thanks, Mama.”
Erik
Simon: Mama’s talking to Sara, but I’m pretty sure we can go.
Erik: Yes!!! Don’t tell Wille, then. I want to surprise him.
Erik: How much time can your mom take off from work?
Simon: She gets the week of Christmas off, and typically she works half-days the next week, but those are optional. So, two weeks, I guess.
Erik: Perfect! It’s only a couple of hours on the plane, so we’ll take off early on Saturday. We’ll send a car to pick you up. And then we’ll fly home a week and a half later on Wednesday (Alex and co. have to leave on Thursday for their New Year’s Eve party at the White House).
Simon: Cool. Thanks for inviting us, Erik.
Erik: Of course!
Simon turns his phone off and drops it on the bed next to him.
Christmas in London. With Wille.
It seems a little insane, especially with the short amount of time they’ve been dating. But Simon is pretty sure that they’re in it for the long haul, so he might as well get used to the royal craziness.
Simon pauses in his thoughts.
What the fuck is he supposed to do for Christmas presents?