Work Text:
The Art Teacher by Rufus Wainwright
Trainee Jungkook had a crush. A big crush. On Namjoon. And Namjoon knew it. It was pretty obvious, after all.
It started from basically the moment they met, possibly even before they met. Jungkook had seen Namjoon perform and apparently that’s what tipped him to signing on to Big Hit. And then Jungkook met Namjoon, Namjoon coming to the door in just his underwear and Namjoon supposes that that must be what sealed the deal - it wasn’t every day that Namjoon got called “honey thighs” by a complete stranger.
Namjoon took it all in pretty good humour, being the consummate professional that he is. Jungkook followed him around silently like a doe-eyed, golden-voiced, goofy little shadow. It was adorable.
Namjoon, though really just a kid himself, felt like he should play a role in taking care of Jungkook. Seokjin-hyung had really already stepped up to the plate, making sure the kid was fed, taken to school, and generally cared for. Namjoon felt like he should be doing his part too. He was the leader after all.
So Namjoon did what he could, since he couldn’t cook or drive. At least he could give him a cultural education.
There was an exhibit on Normandy landscapes that Namjoon was really excited for. He wasn’t really sure if that’s what 15 year old Jungkook would be into, but it was worth a shot.
They walked leisurely around the exhibit, Jungkook still in his school uniform, his big eyes scanning the room and taking in the European impressionist paintings.
“So, what do you think?” Namjoon asks.
“They’re pretty, hyung. Thanks for taking me.”
“I’m happy whenever I get to share art with people. It’s my happy place,” Namjoon says, looking at Jungkook and releasing a contented sigh.
“Which piece makes you the happiest, hyung?”
“Here,” Namjoon replies, and walks over to an oil piece. “It’s a Turner. He’s my favourite. I’ve never gotten to see one in real life before.”
Jungkook squints at the tag. “Slavers, Throwing Overboard The Dead And Dying,” he reads, brow furrowed. He looks up at Namjoon. “This is the one that makes you happiest?”
Namjoon chuckles. “Yeah, it’s not about the content though. It’s about the technique, the brush strokes, the use of colour and the representation of light. It’s about how it makes you feel, what it makes you think of.”
Jungkook seems a little dazed, his big eyes twinkling up at Namjoon in full baby deer-mode. “Ah, ok,” he replies finally.
Namjoon looks around the room.
“Which one is your favourite, Jungkook-ah?”
Jungkook is still staring at him.
Namjoon tilts his head.
“You are,” Jungkook whispers.
Namjoon’s eyebrows shoot up. He’s pretty sure Jungkook didn’t mean to say that out loud.
Jungkook blushes hard and his eyes start darting around. He starts to stammer.
“Um, I don’t… I don’t have a favourite. I don’t know. I don’t know yet. I’m sure I-”
Namjoon regains his composure, schools his features, and gives him a soft smile. “Jungkook, it’s ok. I heard you.”
Jungkook’s mouth falls open in slight terror.
“It’s not that I’m not… open-minded,” he says, because the last thing he wants is for Jungkook to think that he would be homophobic towards him, “but I don’t really see you that way. I’m sorry.”
Jungkook drops his head and looks at his feet, “That’s ok, hyung. I didn’t mean to say it… I know I’m not… I know that you don’t think of me like that.”
Jungkook looks so sad and small that Namjoon’s heart breaks just a little.
“Jungkook, don’t feel bad. It’s just… not something that’s going to happen. But I am flattered. You’re great.”
“Thanks, hyung. I’ll try not to die of embarrassment.”
“Yeah, do that. No reason to be embarrassed. Anyone in their right mind would be attracted to me, right?” He says it with as much put-upon smugness as possible and an awkward laugh, trying to alleviate any of Jungkook’s bad feelings.
Jungkook laughs a little. They continue on with the exhibit, each doing their best not to make things weird. Surprisingly, it works.
---
A year passes and suddenly they’re almost ready for their debut. A new member has been added practically at the last minute, with only 6 months to practice before the group is unveiled. His name is Jimin and he’s eager, charismatic, hardworking, talented, and frankly a bit of a dork. He tries a bit too hard at just about everything he does, and Namjoon is pretty sure that he’s got no jams. But one of the dorkiest things about him has got to be his obvious and frankly overwhelming crush on Jungkook.
Suddenly Jungkook is being pursued and Namjoon thinks it might be the cutest thing he’s ever seen. And occasionally the most annoying. Jimin doesn’t always have good timing and his flirting can sometimes derail their interviews and press time. But no one really blames him. He’s young and he’s crushing hard.
For a while it seems like Jungkook doesn't know how to feel about it, though he does seem to like the attention. He’s always been extremely shy, regardless of his confidence and charisma onstage. Namjoon also suspects that he’s still trying to figure out his past crush on him. Maybe he’s a little scared to give up those feelings because he's been harbouring them for such a long time.
Despite his shyness, Jungkook spends more and more time with Jimin. He sleeps in his bed, or with Jimin on the floor in the living room. They practice together, work out together, eat together, study together. Jimin makes him laugh, feeds him, entertains him, and there’s no end to Jimin’s patience and admiration for Jungkook. Their relationship grows simultaneously slowly and intensely, like the glowing coals of a very hot and large fire. It takes years for them to come out to the other members, takes years for them to be able to love each other completely, openly and affectionately, but it all happens. They grow together, out of shy, timid Jungkook and overly enthusiastic, dorky Jimin into something beautiful and strong, playful and mature and kind and feisty and sweet.
Namjoon watches them, and as much as they take care of each other, he also does what he can to help them along. He makes sure they protect themselves and the group. He makes space for them. Makes sure to say ‘boyfriend or girlfriend’. Suggests that their songs be gender neutral. He wants to open up the world just a little bit for these two lovesick kids. Plant the seeds so that maybe one day, way off in the very distant future, there might be a place for something like Jimin and Jungkook.
Jimin and Jungkook appreciate Namjoon’s efforts, though they don't really notice, in a way. They're so caught up in each other. Not that Namjoon minds. He’s happy for them. They're in love and he can tell that part of them wants everyone to know. They're unapologetically bold, what with Jungkook’s GCFs and Jimin’s shameless flirting on camera. Namjoon gives them warnings when things get a little too heavy, a little too obvious, but he also doesn't want them to have to change, not really. He loves that they love each other, that Jungkook found someone else. He just wants to keep them safe. Keep everyone safe. And so together they all walk the careful tightrope walk that keeps everyone as happy and healthy as possible, considering the circumstances.
But things are changing for Namjoon too.
He's met someone.
Over the past few years, one of their staffers has become... Well, a lot more. A lot more than just a staffer.
It started out simply enough. Namjoon was waiting around for a shoot and introduced himself to a new face. Ever the professional, Namjoon just wanted him to feel comfortable, to feel like he could be part of the Big Hit family. But then he mentioned a book he had read and that got them talking about books, and then art, and then plants, and then cycling, and suddenly Namjoon had a friend. It was nice. Namjoon has always struggled with letting himself relax at work in a way the other members hadn't. Taehyung always befriended the backup dancers, often taking them out for dinners and chatting with them during breaks on set. Seokjin took staffers to amusement parks on their days off. The other members felt like they could actually rest during ITS, whereas Namjoon always felt like he should be working, even when resting was his job. He felt the pressure to make good tv and not enjoy it too much. The pressure to not be boring, to always entertain.
So it was nice to have a friend at work. Someone who understood parts of him that even the other members didn't really. Someone who he didn't have to teach or lecture to about art and books and Korean history, but who brought his own knowledge and experience and who could actually teach Namjoon a thing or two. It gave him some space to be friendly at work without the pressure of the cameras. Without worrying for once.
Six months after he started working at Hybe, the staffer asked Namjoon out. It came as a bit of a shock. Namjoon hadn't really considered this possibility. To be honest, he had sort of forgotten that dating was even something he could do, even while he had been active in making sure that other members could date and fool around in secret.
"Um, let me think about it?" Namjoon said measuredly.
The staffer nodded solemnly and replied "Of course," and turned to walk away.
Namjoon was feeling a bit stunned, a bit surprised. But as the staffer walked away, he couldn’t help but feel that he really liked this guy. Namjoon was rarely impulsive. When he was impulsive it was usually an accident – leaking a tour spoiler or physically breaking something. Maybe it was time to change that pattern. To create something with impulsiveness instead of destroying something. And so before he could get too far away, Namjoon called out.
"Actually, I've thought about it. Yeah. Yes. Let's do it."
And so one date became two dates, became ten dates. Became an anniversary. Became posting pictures of them together with only Namjoon's face showing because he wanted to show everyone, even while knowing that he couldn't show everyone. It was a bit of bliss with just a touch of torture, and it was worth it.
The members are incredibly supportive. Everyone loves them together. They tease him sometimes, just enough to put a blush on Namjoon's face.
But sometimes Jungkook gives him a look. And Namjoon knows.
One day they're alone in the dorms, Jungkook doing dishes and Namjoon sitting at the kitchen table, eating ramen and reading.
"I bought a Turner," Jungkook says, breaking the silence.
Namjoon looks up.
"I'm so glad you're happy, hyung," Jungkook says, turning to face Namjoon.
"I'm glad you feel that way," Namjoon replies. "I really am happy. I hope you're happy too?"
"I am, hyung. I am. Jimin… Well, you know..." Jungkook says with a small smile.
"He loves you so much," Namjoon says with a nod.
"He makes me so happy. I love him. I want to be with him, hyung. Maybe forever even?"
"Yeah?" Namjoon can’t say he’s surprised. Though it’s nice to hear.
"Yeah I think so. Though I'm not sure how to deal with that thought yet."
Namjoon nods.
"But..." And Namjoon doesn't even really want to say it. He really doesn’t. He wants to leave it on a positive note, respecting both of their relationships. He can't seem to quite stop himself though. "But you bought the Turner."
There's a heavy pause.
"I did."
Namjoon nods again, not sure what else to do. He feels like he understands and doesn't understand at all, all at the same time.
"Is there anything you want... from me?" Namjoon asks carefully.
"No, no hyung. That's not why I bought it." Jungkook takes a deep breath. "I just… wanted to remember. I wanted to respect my younger self. He was so scared and..."
"He was so brave," Namjoon says firmly.
"Yeah," Jungkook replies with a stuttering breath. "He really was."
Namjoon gets up from the table and walks over to Jungkook, who's leaning with his back against the sink.
"Come here, Jungkook-ah"
Namjoon pulls him into a hug.
"You've grown up so well."
"Thanks, hyung"
"Let's both be happy. As happy as we can be in this fucked up world."
Jungkook nods into his shoulder, a few tears seeping through Namjoon's shirt.
Jungkook pulls his head off of his shoulder, sniffs, and nods again. He gives Namjoon's shoulder a few hard pats, "Yes, let's be happy, hyung."
With one hand still resting on Namjoon's shoulder, they hold eye contact. Jungkook's eyes are still a bit wet.
"I'll always love you, hyung," he says quietly.
"I know. It's okay." Namjoon says calmly.
Namjoon takes hold of Jungkook's face with both hands. He stretches up and presses a kiss to Jungkook's forehead, holding himself there for a few seconds.
Jungkook sniffs again, keeping himself from crying.
"Thanks hyung,” he says gently.
With his hands still cupping Jungkook’s face, Namjoon runs his thumbs over Jungkook’s eyebrows, the piercing a stark reminder of just how much has changed, even while it feels like nothing has changed at all. He smiles and takes his hands back.
Jungkook smiles back and goes to leave the kitchen.
“Can I see the Turner some time?” Namjoon calls after him.
Jungkook turns around, nods.
“Anytime, hyung. Anytime.”